Chapter 17 preamble

Once again, Catti-brie showed me that she knew me better than I did.I have to admit I was a little scared, a little jealous when we learned that Wulfgar was crawling out of the dark cavern and was indeed reverting to being the warrior he once was.He stole Catti-brie's heart once, would he come back in that capacity?Or, in fact, had he ever actually stolen Catti-brie's heart?Was their planned marriage just for mutual benefit?They were the only two humans in our small group who matched in age and appearance, a logical fit. I think it's a little bit of both, so I get jealous.Because even though I know I've become very special to Catti-brie in a way I never imagined, a part of me wishes that no one else was as special.Because while I'm sure we both share many of the same feelings that are new and exciting to both of us, I don't want to contemplate the possibility that she ever shared them with another person. Emotion, even if it was such a close friend.Perhaps, especially with such a close friend!But even admitting all of this, I know I have to take a deep breath and blow all the fear and jealousy away, and I have to remind myself that I love this woman, Catti-brie, and that she is who she is because The combination of all of her experiences that made her who she is now.Am I happier that her human parents didn't die?In a way, of course yes!But if they hadn't died, Catti-brie wouldn't have ended up being Bruenor's adopted daughter, and likely wouldn't have come to live in Icewind Dale at all.In this way, we may never meet.Besides, if she had been raised in the traditional human way, she would never have been the warrior she is now, able to share my sense of adventure, able to accept the hardships of the road, and have a good sense of humor and adventure The spirit also allows me to take any risks! ——When fighting against the environment and monsters in this world.

I think hindsight is a useless tool.Each of us lives the way we do because of innumerable circumstances, and each of us has a responsibility (if we don't like the way we If the path is not right, find a better one, or, if it is indeed the way we want, happily go down this path.Even changing the bad things that have happened in the past will fundamentally change who we are now, and I believe that we cannot predict whether that change is a good thing or not. So I accept my past, let Catti-brie accept hers, and try not to feel sorry for either of them.I'm just trying to reconcile our current existence into something greater and more beautiful.

What about Wulfgar?He has a new bride, and a child who is not their blood.It was evident, however, that Delly Cody loved the baby as if it were her own, as could be seen in her face, and was willing to give herself as long as the child was not harmed.I think it's the same for Wulfgar, because those interrogations aside, recent behavior aside, I know him, and I know the depths of his heart beneath his hard and indifferent exterior. I knew from her words that he loved this woman, Delly Curty, but I knew he had loved Catti-brie too. What is this mysterious love?What brings about this most elusive magic?There have been so many times I've heard people declare that their partner is their only love, the only person who could ever make their soul whole, and there's no doubt that's how I feel about Catti-brie, and I hope she feels I feel the same way.But, logically, is this possible?Is there such a person who can complete another person's soul?Is this really one-on-one, or is it more a matter of context?

Can a rational being love many people?Had circumstance, not destiny, brought them together? Logically, I know the answer is the latter.I know that if Wulfgar, Catti-brie, or myself inhabited another part of the world, we'd all likely find someone else who could make our souls whole.Logically, in a multiracial and populous world, this must be the case, otherwise how can true lovers meet?I am a thinking creature, a rational being, so I know this to be true. So why does all this logical argument make so little sense when I look at Catti-brie?I remember the first time we met, when she was just a young woman—more like a little girl, actually—and I saw her on the side of the Cairn.I remember looking into her blue eyes and feeling her warm smile and openness of heart - something I have rarely encountered since I came to the surface - and I felt a strong bond, a A magic that I can't explain.This bond has only grown stronger as I've watched her grow.

So, is this due to circumstance or fate?I know the logical answer. But I also know, what my heart tells me. That is destiny.She is exactly that half of me. Perhaps circumstances allow some, even most, to find the right mate, but there is much more to this search than that.Maybe some people are just luckier than others. When I look into Catti-brie's blue eyes, when I feel her warm smile and open heart, I know I'm lucky. — Drizzt Do'Urden