Chapter 7 ending

I believed Zi Yang's words, but he suddenly sighed and said heavily: "However, I don't know when I will come back after this trip. One month, three months, one year or three years, or even... sorry, I I'm a medical student, and I just wanted to tell you how all of this could happen." "Well, I know. If you have any news, remember to call us." I wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes and tried to hold up a smile. "Well," Zi Yang said shyly, "While I'm not here, please help me take care of Meifen, okay?" I smiled and nodded: "You have to work hard. Thank you for telling her that she is not alone when she is vulnerable."

The door of the ward was suddenly opened, and Meifen came out: "Xiaohua, go in and see him." "Well, go and have a cup of coffee." I smiled and pointed to her dark circles, and stepped into the room. ward. "What are you talking about? You must be talking ill of me to Ah Wen." I tried my best to smile and walked to Huang Zijie's bedside.Ah Wen shook his head and said no, got up and walked to the door of the ward and said, "I'm going to buy breakfast, you two can talk slowly." Huang Zijie waved to me, I leaned forward, but the little thief took advantage of the situation and gently kissed me.I don't know how long it took, Huang Zijie pressed his forehead against my chin and was slightly out of breath, so I quickly helped him lie down.

Before noon, Ah Wen drove me back to Guishan dormitory.I didn't go to the airport to see Huang Zijie off.Stupidly, I climbed to the top floor of the dormitory and looked at the endless blue sky, hoping to see a plane dragging long white smoke passing by the horizon.I just stayed on the top floor with my head up for an afternoon. It's a pity that the sky is very blue, but I can't see any planes, which can take away my blessings and thoughts.The result of staying on the top floor all afternoon was that my neck was sore and tanned. However, since the day Huang Zijie left, I often looked up at the white clouds and blue sky with nothing to do. I will also choose to sit in a seat by the window, prop my chin and tilt my head to let my thoughts drift out to the boundless sky outside.

"Xiaohua is looking for you, are you free?" Ah Wen's smile matched with the setting sun coming through the side buildings, with a sense of distance.Feeling this, I nodded to him in a daze, and looked at Ah Wen's inexplicably bright smile with half doubts, feeling no trace of happiness. "Come on, drink a cup of hot milk tea with me." The two of us walked to the bench in the township office with a can of hot milk tea each, and sat down with smiles on each other.Memories are constantly being pulled out and flipped through. Somehow, from the moment I met Ah Wen just now, my heart has become a thick encyclopedia. From the last page, I was flipping through it quickly, mixed with a little Cool also a little warm mood.I opened the buckle and took a sip of hot milk tea, hoping to put away this kind of weird but not too weird mood. Obviously, when I saw Ah Wen holding the milk tea pot with both hands again, it didn't work.

"Why are you so excited today, suddenly want to drink?" "Today may be the last time I drink hot milk tea in this township office." Ah Wen first touched the rim of the can with his lips, and then took a sip of milk tea with a smile on his own. Did I hear you wrong?He was so surprised that he stared at Ah Wen speechlessly. He saw the inconceivable expression on my face from the corner of his eye, and said with a wry smile in a tone of surrender: "I don't want to wait any longer. Do you remember the first time?" One night when we met, I sat on this bench and waited for my angel to come... But when you arrived the next day and saw that I hadn't left, you bought a bottle of hot milk tea and came to pass it to me, and then asked Have I waited?" He paused for a moment and smiled at me, and I nodded in agreement.

"Do you know? That's when I fell in love with drinking hot milk tea. At that time, there was a black hole in my heart that couldn't be filled. My heart became very warm. I like Ruolan, to the point where I am used to waiting for her return, and even accept that when she returns, the smell on her body does not belong to me and her, I only know that I like it.Waiting and waiting and waiting, because everything about her is so beautiful.I always knew I was waiting. Not long after the cup of hot milk tea you handed me, I finally waited for Ruolan to come back.So, I fell in love with the happiness that hot milk tea gave me. "A Wen said earnestly, pausing to take another sip of milk tea. Listening to Ah Wen's slightly trembling voice, I wanted to try to reveal how soft and vulnerable his maintenance of persistence is. Human fragility, just a look Nothing to hide.

"However, I didn't realize that I was wrong until I woke up today. In fact, I never left the bench in the township hall, and I never left that cold night. Waiting is still endless. Xiao Hua , The hot milk tea you handed me is a warm magic... There is a shelf life for a cup of hot milk tea. When the time limit expires, the temperature will be lost." Ah Wen hesitated for a while when he said this, bowed his head and smiled, My emotions are inconsolable. "Ah Wen..." I tried to say something but I could only call out his name, unable to answer anything. Ah Wen put his eyes on the community building in the distance, took a deep breath and said, "I have lost my temperature. The milk tea is no longer warm, and of course there is no magic. My angel didn’t come back, but I want to thank you, an angel who knows how to use hot milk tea. Hehe.” Ah Wen laughed and brushed his hair with one hand, and then drank the remaining hot milk tea in the jar as much as possible.Seeing from the side, Ah Wen's eye sockets were moist, which made my nose sore.I don't want it, I thought Ah Wen had already obtained happiness.God lied to me.

"From the first day I saw you, from the bottom of my heart, I hope you will be happy. Really." The words that I finally said were choked up, which was useless.Ah Wen responded softly: "Thank you, I have been happy before." Shaking my head, I couldn't say enough, and then there was a long period of silence between us. After a cup of hot milk tea, Ruolan is about to lose Ah Wen. "When are you leaving?" I asked truthfully. "After drinking this cup with you." He smiled and responded to me without hesitation. He said that he had packed all his luggage at Ruolan's house and moved away. After finishing speaking, he let out a big breath. He jumped up, waved his hand behind my back coolly and left.

After staring at Ah Wen disappearing at the corner of the street, I sat back on the bench in a sense of loss, and looked up at the blue sky.Yes, my hot milk tea magic disappeared, Ah Wen woke up and left, did Huang Zijie on the other side of the sea also wake up from the hot milk tea magic?I have no idea. So, I can only believe that Huang Zijie is also trying to maintain his life temperature, even if the magic is gone.Shaking his head, he stopped thinking about the bad, and agreed to trust Huang Zijie. It was almost seven o'clock in the evening, and when I went out, I found it was raining.I don't have the habit of wearing a raincoat, so I rode at a speed of no more than thirty per hour, heading to Taoyuan Night Market to find Meifen.Mei Fen works in a clothing store in the Taoyuan Night Market. This day may be due to the rainy night, the customers are in twos and threes, and most of them are purely looking to buy. The business is not very good.Meifen pushed her fried noodles in front of me and asked me to eat some.I propped my cheek with one hand and picked the noodles with chopsticks insincerely, not intending to eat them.

"Is there still contact with Yidong?" I said out of the blue, even I was surprised suddenly.The uncomfortable atmosphere sprouted again, and I subconsciously got up to look at the row of colorful new products next to me, but paid attention to Meifen's reaction. "Oh, no." Meifen smirked and shook her head. "I don't know, I always feel that the Yidong you know can't be a bad person. You know, no one in the world has to be obliged to be nice to another person. People are absolute individuals...I..." Chattering Xu somehow tried to convince Meifen, to be honest, this kind of behavior was a bit inexplicable.

If I can take care of Yidong, don't I feel sorry for Ziyang who entrusted me to take care of Meifen.But once the words are spoken, it is not right to take them back, and it is strange not to take them back.So, while thinking and talking, I couldn't even speak clearly. Seeing my embarrassing appearance of hesitating more and more and breaking out in cold sweat, Meifen suddenly smiled, and finally laughed out loud, then leaned her body to my side and said with a smile: "Thank you. I understand. For more than half a month, I have thought clearly. Even the last time I spent a few days alone in the eastern part of the country, things that I couldn't figure out clearly have only recently become clearer as if the clouds had cleared up. "The expression in her speech did not lose her usual boldness and ease, but was more sincere and stable.Everyone is growing up, even if you don't want to grow up, you can't help it.Things around you are constantly happening, and those who don't want to go forward will be pushed forward. "I understand what you said, maybe it's to convince myself. Boys' friendship will always have some loyalty or absurdity that girls can't understand. It's like someone fighting for brothers. At first I thought Yidong was really cheating me But there should be some different feelings in it. You don’t need to use your brain to throw a punch for your brother. It’s incredible to approach a woman at the invitation of your brother. Even the younger brother of the young and Dangerous boy will not be able to perform tricks like this Okay... right?" Listening to Meifen's reasoning from the core to the outside layer by layer, it must be the result of countless nights of continuous deliberation. From the surprised reaction at the beginning, I gradually realized that Meifen's ability to adjust herself is very good. I couldn't help but nodded along with her words: "Yeah. So you believe that Yidong really likes you, so you deliberately follow her." Does Shaoqiang mean to get close to you?" Looking at her smiling expression, she seemed to feel that everything should be resolved, and continued to ask with joy: "Then you forgave him? Why didn't you contact him? Or are you worried about Ziyang? you like him?" Meifen angrily tapped my forehead with a hanger and said, "Why don't you get tired of asking so many questions? Besides, are you deaf? That guy proposed to break up with me in front of everyone, didn't he?" She answered me like a boy, the kind of boy who pretended to be strong and said that he was inexplicably complacent after being dumped by a girl, which was unnatural.The saddest thing is that I couldn't think of how to respond to her. Although I was a little unwilling, in fact, it was Yidong who gave up on his own, without even struggling. "As for Huang Ziyang, I admit that he is a good man. He is mature and frank, and he has his achievements. He is considerate and gentle, and sometimes he has his reasons for life. He is a rare 100% boy. However, I am not a 100% girl. I just want to It's hard to keep up with him. A boy who is 100% shouldn't be held back by a girl who is on the verge of passing." Meffin's zen-like confession led me to the most important decision she's made since the incident.The happiness that Meifen wants does not exist in the vanity of chasing fame and fortune in the world. I thought that everything she didn't know was clearly listed in front of her eyes. "Oh? Doctor Sven lost to the team boy?" I lay on the glass table and looked at her mischievously. She looked at me deliberately and viciously with a look of "you deserve a beating", and then said in a somewhat depressed way: "Where is it like this, there is nothing I like or dislike. I am a loner now, maybe I can catch up with a 100% boy by slowly cultivating feelings, God knows." I stared at Meifen's slightly pursed lips, and said in my heart Can't speak anymore, this is a girl who is still pretending to be heartbroken. Meffin and I left the clothing store.Seeing a figure standing in the darkness under the parking arcade from a distance, Meifen and I stepped forward to make sure that the figure downstairs was Shao Qiang.He doesn't have the usual forceful air and doesn't seem like he's here to find fault, it feels like he's discouraged or compromised by something. With messy hair hanging down to his eyes, he slowly looked up at Meifen, as if seeing a savior, and said, "Meffin, can you come with me? To see Yidong?" "Why? We have nothing to do with each other anymore Already?" Meifen replied indifferently, and opened the big lock on her own to prepare to leave, I stood aside and looked at Shao Qiang and Meifen. Shao Qiang didn't speak any more, but Meifen unlocked the big lock, lifted the car and took out the safety helmet. After a series of forced composure, he asked, "Where is he?" "Over there in the team workshop." Shao Qiang continued.Meifen smiled contemptuously and said, "It's not very good to be taken care of by you good buddies." Meifen's aggressive tone seemed to want to force Shaoqiang, and it had nothing to do with Yidong's deception. dissatisfied. "He's not good at all. He skipped classes, got drunk, and gambled with others to play modified car races. Although he didn't say anything, I know..." A car passed by us with a sudden flash of light. There was also a second of light on the arcade, and it was only then that Shao Qiang's eyes were clearly tired, "What do you know?" Go and see Yidong. I will call you if there is anything, OK?" Although she was a little worried, she nodded and let her go. Shao Qiang came by car, and Meifen parked his motorcycle at the arcade, and was going to take Shao Qiang's car to the Longtan team.I don't know why, after seeing Shao Qiang's tired eyes, my heart began to feel a little uneasy.Can Yidong's affairs alone really make him so decadent?Is it really that simple?The uneasiness that keeps wandering in my chest scares me. Before Shao Qiang made a turn around the night market, he parked the car next to me, rolled down the window and frowned, I stared at Shao Qiang and guessed what he would say next, there should be nothing between us easy to say. "That, little..." Shao Qiang spat out a few words intermittently, and then shrank his mouth as if he couldn't speak for some reason.I stayed where I was for a while and then started to ride slowly back to Guishan. The rain kept falling, and I slowly shuffled back to the dormitory and boarded the elevator. As soon as the elevator door opened on the fifth floor, a figure rushed up to me and hugged me. Even the duck noodle I just bought fell on the floor. What happened?Which daredevil is it?A burst of fragrance rushed straight into my nose. I don't know what brand of perfume it is?There is also a complex smell of smoke and city. With fluttering long hair in front of my eyes, I took a few steps back unresponsively, and accidentally pressed against the elevator button. The elevator door opened and closed repeatedly, "Ruolan?" The person in my arms is either someone else or Ah asked the waiting angel, Ruolan. She threw herself into my arms without crying, just hugged me quietly... her head was blank, what can I do?I froze, I lost my nerves to react, and I was at a loss. He took out the orange juice that Meifen brought from the refrigerator the day before yesterday, poured a glass and handed it to Ruolan who was sitting at the small table.Seeing that the expression of the orange juice seemed to be "different from what she imagined", she took a look at the orange juice in the transparent cup and smiled slightly. He casually poured himself a glass of boiled water, and sat next to the small table facing her. "How did you come up? Did you just come back?" I don't want to pretend to know everything or understand the situation very well, because Ruolan will feel uncomfortable or I will gloat, it's bad. "Well, I just came back. When I came back, I found that what should have happened, happened." After taking a sip of orange juice, her pink lips were clearly left on the rim of the transparent cup.Ruolan has always been beautiful and full of femininity. Her extroversion and vivaciousness must have attracted many attentions and pursuits. She doesn't seem to have a boyish arrogance, but she has a pure and playful atmosphere.I just stared straight at the lip print that the man was crazy about, I thought so. "You know, don't you?" She asked me after a three-second pause, and the three-second hesitation made people feel a little uncomfortable.Unable to lie, she nodded slightly stiffly, and she laughed dryly when I nodded.I really think Ruolan is amazing, she is the only one I can't guess.Listening to her laughter, there was no way to draw any conclusions, as if her throat was choked and she couldn't speak.She and Yijun are both heartthrobs, but they are completely different types. Unlike Yijun's nonsense and hysteria, she is very calm.Can't help but doubt her thoughts, does she really love Ah Wen? "Ruolan, I thought you loved him..." She knew I was referring to Ah Wen. "Huh? I really want to drink hot milk tea today, can you make me a cup?" Without directly answering my question, she tilted her head and smiled slightly.The atmosphere in the whole room was very weird, I wanted to point it out directly, but Ruolan deliberately blindfolded her words, and I felt irritated every time I went back and forth. Enduring the unbearable doubts and a little bit of anger in his heart, he got up and made hot milk tea. To be honest, he suddenly felt that Ah Wen was very pitiful. He could not escape from Ruolan's grasp until now. If moral standards are left behind, most things will lose their norms, and there is no good or bad, right or wrong.Of course, human beings cannot escape the shackles of morality.The moral ruler that exists in everyone's mind fluctuates, but at least it will not disappear. It's just that at this moment, I have to suspect that the beautiful girl in front of me has no so-called "ruler".He was smiling wryly to himself, and the aroma of milk tea came to his nostrils. "It smells so good, no wonder you like to drink it." Ruolan put her lips against the mug and smiled again, but I didn't answer.She continued: "You must not understand me, right? Why don't you cry, why don't you look for, why don't you ask." Huh?I, who was drinking water with my head down, heard Ruolan slowly bring up Ah Wen's matter. I was surprised but didn't change my posture, wanting to listen to her explanation quietly. Who knew that she suddenly asked: "Do you like handsome guys?" "Huang Zijie." She said concisely and forcefully.For some reason, when I heard this guy's name, I was at a loss. His smile suddenly flashed in my mind, and my heart shook violently.Tsk, pick up plain boiled water and pour it vigorously, what does this have to do with Huang Zijie?What does it have to do with me?This move shouldn't be a big move, it's really a ruthless character. "Oh, I don't mean anything in particular. Do you remember that I asked you last time, do handsome men also like to drink hot milk tea?" Yes, the last time was a long time ago, when Ruolan and Huang Zijie It was only once, and then I changed the topic. "Well, what are you going to say? Aren't we discussing the issue between you and Ah Wen now?" I didn't want to be led by the nose again. "I'm sorry, that's not the point to talk about right now?" Ruolan's thinking was very clear, and she had an aggressive feeling that she didn't have when she was with Ah Wen.Beside Ah Wen, she is always like a girl who loves to be coquettish and needs to be protected.Sweet, gentle and coquettish, pure and lovely and brave.I like Ruolan like that, she is comfortable and at ease.And she, who couldn't figure it out, had a devilish look in her eyes.Do I think angels also have two sides? "Ruolan, if you really like Ah Wen, go find him and come back. Don't leave him again." I expressed my feelings seriously. Ruolan raised her head and took a sip of hot milk tea, still smiling happily: "Xiaohua, if Huang Zijie didn't exist, you must have liked Ah Wen very much, right? Or, you already liked Ah Wen very much?" Asked without any scheming, I was almost frightened.She asked a question but didn't even want to listen to my answer. She got up and went to the mirror in front of my closet to fix her appearance.Because I was still shocked by her question, I couldn't help myself for a long time, and I couldn't refute even half a sentence. While looking at me sitting on the ground beside the bed from the mirror, I picked up the comb on the shelf next to me and said, "Sometimes, I also think about it. I want to say that you and Ah Wen are really a good match, and they also like hot drinks. Milk tea, I like to squat at home to do things, I don’t like to go out to have fun, I don’t like to make noise... It’s really similar. So I also like Xiaohua.” Well, she seems to be talking about other people’s affairs, it’s not like that at all parties. I seemed to be about to collapse, and I couldn't hold back the shocking emotions in my heart. I stared at Ruolan in the mirror, feeling a little fuzzy.My head starts to hurt, what's wrong?Is it because of the rain just now?I have a fever.He clenched his fist lightly, not knowing what to do. Ruolan still looked at me from the reflection in the mirror and said, "Although I'm a good match," she turned to me with a bright smile and said, "Xiao Hua still can't take away Ah Wen, because I like Ah Wen. I like it very much." Ok?Here it is again, she walked up to me and knelt down, her eyes were wet and red.That's right, Ruolan's every move is tied to my nerves, her tearful eyes washed away my original resentment, and I patted her on the shoulder softly to express comfort.Unexpectedly, she embraced me from the neck with excessive enthusiasm, dumbfounded. "I was so nervous that my hands and feet were cold, and Ah Wen disappeared. I'm so sad...I'm sorry, I was too jealous of you just now, I know that Ah Wen must have looked for you, and told you all the things and thoughts, so I was so jealous that I wanted to I want to kill someone... But, I know Xiaohua is a good person, I like Xiaohua very much." Hehe, is it too exaggerated?Don't you want to kill me? What's the matter with me?What a confession to break out in a cold sweat.Unexpectedly, at this time, a fruit knife fell out of Ruolan's coat. I squinted at the fallen fruit knife, opened my eyes like a bull's, grabbed Ruolan's arms and shouted, "Miss, are you kidding me?" She blew her nose and smiled and responded: "Hehe, I'm just joking. The knife is used to cut fruit... Really, the apple and guava are still outside the door and haven't been brought in." Liar, I don't believe you didn't cut me eight pieces Half of the soul has gone to the thought, and Xiaonizi's ruthlessness is probably terrifying.Bless the Bodhisattva, it almost made the headlines of tomorrow's social edition. I got up and walked to the door to see that there was really a big bag of fruit... Forget it, I really lost to her.It turned out that Ruolan liked Ah Wen so much, perhaps she had never discovered it herself.But what can be done?Ah Wen left without leaving any contact information.While peeling an apple, Ruolan told what she knew about the situation. After Ruolan left, I realized that my head was really hurting, it was really uncomfortable.The windows were left open, and the rain continued, drifting into the room from time to time.Going to the window and reaching out to touch the gray sky made me feel very lonely. "Xiaohua, if Huang Zijie didn't exist, you must have liked Ah Wen very much, right? Or, you already liked Ah Wen very much?" Ruolan's words kept echoing in her ears, and she couldn't escape.One turned around and threw himself on the bed as if deliberately losing gravity. Well, let's try to tell yourself the name of the person you like, so that you can be more sure of your heart.Pressing his mouth against the quilt as if reciting a spell, he muttered to himself: "I...I like...ah, what are you doing, I..." Even if you try to say it to yourself first, you like someone How can you say it so easily?I can not do it.Every time I say it, half of my heart will fly out.In the end, my whole heart will fly to that person, which will make me feel even more uncomfortable. "It would be nice if you were here, idiot." After saying that, I lay awake until I was woken up by a call from my elder brother the next day.Only then did I realize that I had a cold and a fever again... After receiving the medicine, I pushed open the door of the clinic. The sky was still raining like yesterday. I pulled up the collar of my hoodie and walked back slowly.While walking and thinking about things, one accidentally stepped on a pile of broken bricks and small stones that bent into the construction site on the side of the dormitory, immediately lost his balance and fell forward into the stagnant water in *, "It hurts so much" knees straight forward and fell on the ground. On the ground, it hurts so much. The medicine bag flew out and lay two meters in front of me. I slowly got up from the sewage with my head still hurting, huh?The medicine bag was picked up?Someone approached me, pulled me up and said calmly, "Are you injured?" He quickly shook his head to show that I was fine, and took the medicine bag back.Well?Such a familiar voice.I raised my head in embarrassment, ah, the person I have completely forgotten is standing in front of me, it is Chen Shaoping. He put his hands in his pockets, leaned slightly, and met my eyes less than two meters away from me.Superimposed on Shao Ping's face, Shao Qiang hesitated to speak, always feeling that something big was about to happen, and I vaguely read something unusual from Shao Ping's eyes. The two of us stood in the rain for a while, thinking about what to say, "Let's go to the township office, the room is messy, it's just like after a war." Smiling, we compared the direction of the township office .It's half truth and half lie. Although I don't feel well and I don't want to be outside in the rain, I don't want to make the atmosphere very ambiguous and dig my own grave.Finally, I went to the arcade of the township office. Shaoping stepped forward without saying a word, and walked side by side with me. Is it because of wearing black clothes?I always feel that he seems to be thinner than half a month ago.Before Xiaoru attempted suicide and entered the nursing home, he and Shaoqiang were very famous in the team, but I heard from Meifen that Yidong joined because of Shaoqiang's introduction. I don't know how Meifen went to find Yidong now?I didn't come to class today either.Hmm, what are you thinking about?Everything was getting mixed up, and the temperature in his head continued to rise. As soon as I arrived at the arcade of the township office, my mind was completely blank, and the wild thoughts just now were completely useless.To be honest, we have probably changed a lot between each other in these two years. "Have you seen Meffin?" He broke the deadlock by speaking first, he should more or less know what happened yesterday. He sighed slightly and then nodded: "It's fine." What do you mean, Meifen and Yidong are reunited?Or did Meifen give Yidong a slap in the face last night, and he decided to change his past? "But Muffin didn't come to class today," I went on. "Yidong got hurt yesterday, maybe he was taking care of him." No wonder Meifen didn't show up and didn't call me, as long as it's okay. He nodded as if suddenly enlightened, smiled to himself, and played with the leaves in the flowerbed with his fingers.It's a good end, no, maybe it's a good start or not, start over. "I'm going back to school." Huh?Shao Ping took his hands out of his pockets and purposely straightened his body. After listening to his words and seeing the changes in his subtle movements, I stopped the meaningless little movements at hand.If his brain hasn't been burnt out, remember that after what happened to Xiaoru two years ago, he automatically suspended school and didn't care about attending classes. The rain became heavier. Looking at the pool of water beside the bench under the stairs, the ripples rapidly expanded and disappeared, and passed away.His whole head was still empty, and his body stiffened accordingly, "I always hurt the people around me, those who love me, those who I love." He walked up to me while talking, and slowly took out something from his pocket, Want me to spread my hands. "Here, I'll give it back to you." Is it that pair of small and exquisite water-blue hair clips?Just when I lowered my head and felt a little puzzled, he then brushed my hair with his hands, combed my hair softly, picked up the water-blue hairpin in my palm, and carefully separated my hair one by one. superior.In the end, he held my shoulders and stared at me, "It's beautiful." After a long pause, he only said these three words. Under the arcade, we stood for a long time.The vast drizzle is still falling endlessly, and there is a trend of getting bigger and bigger.Premonition knocked on the forehead, this time, maybe it was the last memory. Shaoping braved the rain and sent me to the iron gate of the dormitory. I turned around and raised my head with a smile and said, "Take care of yourself." He also nodded and sighed, pulling up his black collar and turning around gently. "Shao Ping!" I shouted to him, his figure stopped hesitantly to listen to me, "I saw Xiao Ru and said hello to her for me. Tell her that I miss her very much." When he finished speaking, Yu was inexplicable The ground suddenly fell fast and hard, but Shao Ping, who was standing in the rain, turned his back to me and did not move. what happened?When I was about to call him again, the rain blurred my sight, Shao Ping turned around and seemed to say something to me in the rain, but the sound of the rain covered his voice, "What? I can't hear you?" I said to him again. shouted.After a while, Shaoping also shouted to me vigorously: "I will tell her!" After speaking, he turned and disappeared at the corner of the street. I dragged my sickly body back to the dormitory to recuperate.After taking the medicine at four o'clock in the afternoon, I fell asleep all the time. I don't know how long I fell asleep. The person outside the door knocked on the door vigorously without ringing the doorbell.When the door opened, Meffin nearly fell through it.She came in with big bags and small bags, and a man whose head was wrapped like a mummy. "Hi, Xiaohua." Half of the "mummy" spoke, "Yidong? How did you do this? Sit down." His smile was a little awkward. At this time, Meifen said angrily: "I was almost scared to death that day, the front of the car lost control and turned over. I really don't know what I was thinking, and I didn't take good care of myself." By the way, he gave Yidong a half-serious look, Blame him for not cherishing his own life. Meifen chose Yidong?My mind turned and I thought of Huang Ziyang.I also remembered a sentence I read from nowhere: "Even God has no way to save all people. 'Love' cannot be bought only by piety." After thinking about it, I became heavy, and the smile of sincere blessing froze, so I had no choice but to cover the quilt and continue to lie in bed. "Can you say it?" Meifen was asking for Yidong's opinion, "Well, it should be possible. But..." Yidong's deliberate attitude made me lift the quilt and stare at them suspiciously, "What is it? I want to listen to you and not bully the patient." "Shaoping is going back to school." Yidong said, and I nodded nonchalantly, "Huh? You know?" Meifen continued in surprise, "Then you know why?" "He came to see me this afternoon, but he didn't say anything. What's the matter?" I said, rubbing my temples.At this moment when I had no idea, Meifen suddenly threw a huge bomb at me, which blew me to pieces, "Xiaoru is dead." I was completely dumbfounded and looked at Meifen with firm eyes with stiff neck, and then moved my gaze to Yidong, who nodded slightly to make me believe this fact.I pursed my lips and said with a dry smile: "Trick me? How is it possible? Tsk, act out of order." It must be a joke, keep silent, and I don't want to hear any more ridiculous jokes. After a while, Yidong said slowly: "She fell from the roof of the nursing home and was sent to the hospital to die. At that time, Shaoping, Shaoqiang and I witnessed her fall." My heart kept falling, and I couldn't say anything. Come on.He swallowed, and continued regretfully: "Didn't we come to you more than half a month ago? At that time, Xiaoru cried and made a scene when she saw Shao Ping leaving in the nursing home. Shao Ping had no choice but to lie Xiaoru said: "As long as I see the sun turn red, I will come back." According to the nurse, Xiaoru climbed to the top floor of the nursing home from the moment Shaoping left the nursing home, and leaned against the wall to bask in the sun , and wait for Shaoping to come back." It was true, how could such a thing happen? Meifen watched me staring at Yidong for a long time without speaking, and then continued: "I heard that the nurse was there and didn't expect this kind of thing to happen. At that time, Xiaoru was always obedient and not hysterical...why did she stumble and fall? Is it because I saw Shaoping’s car driving back on the roof, and I was very excited to shout and wave to Shaoping, but my body was too stretched out of the wall and I accidentally stepped on a small toy on the ground and slipped.” Steady Calm explanations can't make me pretend nothing happened. All I can see in my mind are pictures of Xiaoru and I, and even getting along with everyone. No one would be easily predicted to die, let alone the friends around him, it was too cruel.Even if she didn't want to believe it, there was nothing she could do. Meffin moved her body to my side and patted my shoulder lightly.The absurd surprise still stuck in my retina, I stared blankly at the mirror in front of the closet, unable to calm down. Suddenly I thought of Shaoping in the rain, I remembered how happily I wanted him to say hello to Xiaoru for me, and of course I also thought of his hesitant slender figure motionless in the rain.What was he thinking at that time?What is a whisper that turned around?Yes, Xiaoru died right in front of his eyes, his remorse may not be beyond my imagination.Gently took off the pair of aqua blue hair clips on the messy hair, and everything was understood.I think Shaoping wants to tell me that he is not qualified to love and be loved. While understanding, I seemed to be back in the heavy rain in the afternoon, and saw Shaoping standing in the rain to hide his tears.What does it feel like to have tears falling with the rain?I have no idea.All I know is that I'm crying. The hot porridge that Meifen and Yidong brought to me turned cold and turned into a gelatinous paste, and my choked throat couldn't bear it. "I want to see Xiaoru." I said in a daze, Yidong and Meifen were hesitant to speak from the blurry corner of my eyes, "Xiaoru's ashes have been brought back to the south by her parents, and they are not here." Yidong voice cautiously. "You want to say that even if I go, I might not be able to burn incense for Xiaoru, right?" The puddles of water under the street lamp reflected brightly, clearly wanting me to understand my sin. "Don't think so, it won't happen." Meffin suddenly answered this sentence after a few seconds.If he didn't guess wrong, Shaoping couldn't even attend her farewell ceremony.Holding my hand against the window and listening to the chirping of insects, I stretched my body slightly out of the window, closed my eyes and took a deep breath.I smell the fresh air, but I don't feel the joy of sunny weather after the rain.Yes, that's how it all ended. The triangular exercises formed by me, Shaoping, and Xiaoru were converted to the end, and they were once canceled because of my withdrawal, and then set off a bloody storm because of the inexplicable resentment after the cancellation. In the end, the red blood dripped in a thunderous way. With a big cross, all possibilities are stopped and thoughts are lost. The rain falls, evaporates, and recirculates one by one, and the days pass by.The rainy weather is no longer there, and my mood also vaguely reveals the desire to break free.Even if there are "regrets" dragging around, and an imperfect life, people must continue to go on. Will it be a sunny day tomorrow?Will it be... will it be. There are very few classes in the senior year. Most of the people either stay up late and wake up abnormally and become in a trance, or stay up late for a few days and become abnormally energetic.我的状况则是下午的课已经开始了，连早餐和午餐都没来得及买就溜进教室的那一种。 白T恤一件、滑板裤一条、球鞋一双，一进教室想低头慢慢蹲走到窗边角落的大本营，向来我走休闲路线的装扮早已被定型。才不过一小段路就被同学轮流笑着揶揄说：“耶？小华这么早喔？”“老师，小华来了。”“早上的签到，大哥已经帮你签了。”“小华，你不是来送午餐的喔？”只好一边点头一边干笑地快速通过，再从大哥身边的椅子底下蹿出来，明明一脸气喘吁吁还要装没事，把作品袋往桌上一摆，梅芬便往我这边递来吐司夹蛋和奶茶一杯，我顺手拿来啃了一口。 “上次作品发表我没去，老师有没有说什么？”就是我瘫在床上发烧的那些迷糊日子，“没有啊，老师叫大家自己看一看你的作品……说'这个人已经躺在医院里，没办法来牎'之类的，哈。”大哥边画速写边笑着说，我一脸错愕说不出话来。 “对啊牎老师说你这星期不来学校也没关系，好好休息。超好的牎我看我们的分数多半是小华的同情分牎”坐在大哥前头的阿忠回头接着说，“怎……怎么说？”我怯怯地问，“我们的分数很高啊！吕老师当指导的组里面，我们这组最高分。呵呵。”大哥啼笑皆非地念着，手边的速写倒没有停。他画出来的动物和人都特别生动可爱，大概是因为喜欢收集一些大大小小的玩具的关系。看着大哥笔下的人物有点出神，我莫名其妙地就开始发起呆来。 上面毕联会长和教授讨论去台北毕业展出的细节，下面同学乱哄哄地互相笑成一堆，台上台下简直是两个世界。坐在前面的梅芬转头向我挑了挑眉毛，像是想起什么事一样把椅子拉到我身边坐下，我心底没个谱也没心理准备会听到什么事情，“怎么了？”一边吃土司夹蛋一边喝早餐奶茶，我呆呆地疑惑着问。“嗯，今天早上子扬打电话给我。”梅芬一开口提起黄家兄弟，我的眼珠马上撑大到快掉出来。 “说些什么？是黄子捷怎么样了吗？”我的手撑着桌边有些紧张。梅芬看到我的模样忍不住笑了出来，故意斜眼瞄着我再用调侃的口气说：“呦，紧张喔？”这家伙明知道我很担心还故意吊我胃口，看样子她最近是幸福过了头，脸一红嘴一瘪，“没、没有啊。”我尴尬地起身走到窗边，手指不安地打着拍子，脑海里乱想一通。 梅芬走到窗边，吸了口气在我的身后轻声念着：“……黄子捷，在美国时间的昨晚八点，动了心脏移植手术。”耳朵接收到黄子捷近况的同时，我缓缓蹲下颤抖的双腿，眼泪静悄悄地不停滑落。这伙人不知道我怎么突然哭起来，当场全傻了眼地面面相觑。虽然眼泪在掉，却深刻感受到自己的坚强有几两重。最后我用力起身给梅芬一个微笑，她也跟着我笑。 上帝，你的天使比你想像中的还要勇敢。我望向窗边蓝蓝的天空，一架喷射机拖曳着白色的线，缓缓扩张，很美。 骑着车和大哥他们挥别，从学校山坡上缓缓滑下山脚。想着黄子捷终于换了心脏，想着相见的时刻不远了，想着他的笑容，想着上帝的伟大。 弯进小巷子，一进房门，我顺势把锁紧的窗户推开通风。 “啪——”窗边树上的麻雀全被我惊吓得飞了去，我下意识地吐吐舌头，望向蓝天边勾起淡淡橘红的甜美。Well?那个坐在长椅上的人不是若兰吗，没看错吧？ 若兰一个人坐在乡公所的长椅上不知道在发什么呆啊？我赶紧下了楼，半跑步地往乡公所走去。“若兰。”我走到她的面前喊了她的名字。若兰抬起头有些惊讶地说：“小华牎呵呵，你下课了啊？”我笑着点点头坐到她的身边，没有接话。哪里出了问题？若兰的异常沉默有一种若即若离的游移，是错觉吗？她难道每天都来长椅这儿等阿问吗？ “阿问还是没有消息吗？”我把身子挺直暗自作了个大呼吸，再双手端放在双膝轻声地问。她发呆地把视线移向前方，还微笑着回答我说：“是啊。”突然感到这其中一定有哪里不对劲，回头看若兰，忍不住注意到她的打扮穿着，红白细肩带小背心和百褶*，还有一双修长白皙的腿和涂着五彩指甲油的细长手指，最后再配上白色细带凉鞋。妩媚身材一览无遗，毫无瑕疵。脸上淡淡的妆很美，很美的一个天使。但，到底哪里不对劲呢？她已经没有疲倦也没难受的表情，比起上次来找我的时候有精神，细微的琐事总挑起我莫名的疑惑，是因为化妆的关系？still…… “嗯，小华。你知道吗？我很爱阿问，到现在也还爱着他，而且我也相信他一定也不能失去我。”她回头对我说话的时候有一种非常坚定自信的眼神，我几乎被那样的眼神震住了。几天不见，感觉到若兰对自己的感情有更深一层的认识，至于是什么更清楚的认识，还没个底。 “我想，我这辈子最爱的人一定是阿问，不管是谁都没有办法代替他在我心中的地位。”甜甜的笑容和最真的告白让我也弯起了新月，点头附和着。她又继续接着说：“不过我仔细认真地想过，也许我还不到那个只对某种饮料有感情的年纪。抱歉，我不想对你说谎。我爱热奶茶，也爱喝柳橙汁，奇异果汁，甚至我没喝过的饮料。” 我想她的诚实确实震惊了我，不管是对或错。 “呵呵，你一定无法理解我的想法，甚至会觉得我很荒谬。很正常。因为我也不能理解你和阿问的生活方式……我会继续在这里等阿问回来，我知道他一定会回来找我，我知道。”语毕，她看看手腕上的表没有再说话。啧，怎么办，我说不出话来。 我知道每个人有每个人不同的想法，不可能说改变就改变。严格说起来若兰错了吗？在我的眼中，她是的，只因为我是阿问的朋友。是啊，不论怎么选择怎么做，若兰都有权选择她想过的生活。 乡公所突然弯进一辆黑色跑车，又是跑车男？这时若兰优雅地起身，还扬起一阵香气，“那，我要走了喔。我还是会来等阿问的。Bye。” 不知道哪里涌出的勇气，趁若兰离去前，我抬头起身拉住她说：“你还记不记得你曾经问过我，我是不是很喜欢阿问？那个时候，我没有回答你……”若兰被我扯住一问，表情诧异还带点疑惑的微笑看着我，仿佛一点也不记得自己曾问过这个问题，咽了咽口水，我定定地看着她说：“但是我现在可以跟你说，我很喜欢阿问。”语毕，有些尴尬地放开若兰的手臂，真的是豁出去不想活了。Die and die. “不过，我想阿问的幸福只有你可以给。所以，我希望你们能够幸福。”认真地再补充说几句。 若兰先是愣了愣，然后不到三秒钟竟“噗嗤”一声笑出来，“难怪，呵呵。”她先是笑着吐出两个字，跑车已经在她身边停下等她上车，她拉车门的时候还在笑，到底在笑什么啊？害得我都不好意思起来了，啧。 “小华，你是个很好的人。我很喜欢你，真的。”她轻盈地坐上了车再摇下车窗对我说，随即跑车一弯，扫起落叶一阵，很快就消失不见了。 呆呆地坐回长椅，脑袋一片空白，觉得自己像个笨蛋，我将手肘抵着膝盖再把身子往前倾，最后缓缓地双手掩住脸，好无力。 阿问，你在哪里？你还会回到若兰的身边吗？会吧，是我的答案。那你的答案呢？希望，跟我不一样。 毕业舞会结束后，我就坐在华纳威秀边的长椅上看着街上的车水马龙，还有逛街看电影的人潮。不知道他们都在想什么？有着什么样的心事？也许他们也跟我一样，想别人都在想什么吧？ “哗哔——”口袋里的手机响了两声短信音，低头按开短信，上头写着：“祝毕业展顺利，绍平。”嘴角扬起浅笑，现在的我们同时都在释怀微笑。这才真的是“事过境迁”啊。 在街上徘徊了一会，呆愣愣的我就在街头驻足，突然之间脑中闪过很多回忆，难过生气的，快乐甜蜜的，悲哀苦恼的，所有人物全都涌上脑海。当脑海出现黄子捷的笑容时，我被身后要穿越斑马线的人群撞倒。发呆半晌后，我才缓缓地看着过往人群各式各样的鞋子穿越，没有一双鞋子的主人停下来…… Well?前方有一双全新红白球鞋停在离我三米的地方，而且还一步一步地走到我的眼前。 “傻瓜，你在想什么啊？”在还来不及抬头反应之时就被骂了，又被一把拉起往新光三越的路边跑去，刚好跌坐在路边的长椅上。 我看着眼前这个低头喘气的男孩，觉得有点面熟。霓虹灯和鹅黄的路灯照耀之下，男孩细柔微卷的头发和略瘦却结实的身材，甚至宽阔的肩膀和手脚摆放的姿势，都很熟悉。该不会是一个很相似的天使也滑落了凡间，闯进我的生活之中？半信半疑的我，轻触男孩垂下的头发想确定线索，想说服自己眼花得把每一个人都刻上黄子捷的影子，又或是我仍正在妄想地做着美梦。 是上帝不要你了，还是放过我了？一度以为再看不到脆弱的天使，竟像个惊喜礼物般地跌进我的生活，在我几乎要放弃之际。是不是即使夏天到了，热奶茶依然有魔法。 可怎么男孩抬头的一个笑容，我便哭了出来。是刚才的假象也让我接下来的行动和视线都出现错乱了吗？骗人，我的眼泪不是听到黄子捷极大可能的死讯之后，就再也流不出来了吗？ 好一会我才确定，我面前的这个人的确是黄子捷。我蹲在长椅前，微喘的黄子捷轻轻拉起我拥入怀中：“对不起，你别哭，我回来了。” 这一抱也不知道过了多久，他稳住自己的情绪扶住我的双臂不舍地拉开，与我面对面认真而腼腆地说：“别哭，你哭起来很丑的。”语毕又注视我良久，我正想反击地跟他拌嘴，谁知他先是一手轻触我眼角的泪之后，自顾自地缓缓倾上前轻吻了我的眼泪。这时的心跳早被他不假思索的举动吓得漏跳几拍，最后他再亮起一个招牌式的笑容，我只能两眼盯着他看。 “干嘛盯着我看，你终于爱上我啦？”黄子捷眯起眼微笑着说。这不是一场梦吗？惨白的脸色该不会有什么问题吧？难不成又逃出医院来找我？才这么想他就抚着胸口蹙起眉头，有些勉强。“神经牎你没事吧？哪里不舒服？”哪里有心情听他油嘴滑舌的，我紧张地挺身坐好生怕他的心脏又出问题，该不会他根本就没有换心脏吧？谁知道他竟故作轻松顽皮地说：“喔，果然是不能太激动。抱你真是一件危险的事情，会让我心脏负荷不了。”话还没说完，斑马线那边过来一群人，黄子捷撑起身子往回看小声地说：“糟糕。” “哥，你没事吧？”这不是黄子扬吗？黄子捷不以为然地挥了挥手说没事。子扬身后的是梅芬和毅东。“梅芬，这是怎么一回事？”我搞不清楚状况，她的表情好像也带点惊讶，只能和毅东一块摇头表示不知情。 子扬又回头接口说：“他还不能出院就扯着我一定要回国，害得我被医院狂追。他的状况才刚好转两天，老爸不扒了我的皮才怪。”原来黄子捷又逃出医院了，这次还真的是从美国跋山涉水地跑回台湾的，该怎么说？我沉默不语地一开始以为自己有点感动，但怎么觉得有一股怒气从丹田往上攀升，越来越强烈。 在台湾大伙儿纷纷上前和黄子捷拥抱握手说话之后，我沉默依然，这时子扬也可能发现了异样便把我拉到一边，“抱歉，我老爸刚才在美国已经联络台大医院了。等一会得要送他去，我看他撑不了多久。他有答应我等会就去医院，请你别怪他。”随即他走到黄子捷坐的长椅边唠叨了几句，便揪着大伙离开了。 我有些恍惚，是不是太过真实之后反而变得特别不诚恳的关系？是不是太过开心惊喜，反而会让人觉得心头更空洞呢？ 看着大伙穿越马路走远，我突然不知道该说什么好，这个时候黄子捷走到我的身后，一把牵起我的手走着也不知道到底往哪里去。 走着走着，黄子捷突然想到什么似的停了下来。一抬头才发现我们走到新光三越后头，旁边就是人烟稀少的停车场，没什么人走过来。他撩撩我的头发又蹙起眉，心疼地说：“你又没照顾好自己，是不是又生病了？”天啊，该当医生的应该是你吗？感觉灵敏得要命，他总能察觉出一些小细节。 借着路灯清楚地看见他的五官，经过一再证实却还是觉得有些不可思议。他见我两眼直盯着没有反应又笑了，“是我啦，我叫黄子捷。” 我忍住笑意故意倔强地不看他。没错，这就是黄子捷。 旁边的停车场中央有一辆车被路灯照得发亮，看清楚原来是一辆银灰色的奥迪跑车。黄子捷走到我身边，牵起我的手往那辆车走去。 “是奥迪跑车。”我说，“走，我们过去看看车上有什么。”他若无其事地接着说。我想上帝一定是个拗不过孩子的父亲，我不是他的孩子，黄子捷是。 我朝前看去，马上惊讶地止住步。God!这部奥迪跑车后边都装满了新鲜的黄玫瑰，我抿着嘴想忍住自己的感动，黄子捷轻轻地从背后扶住我的双肩，再开车门让我上车，他自己则绕过车头坐上驾驶座，看到他苍白的脸色似乎还是有些不好。 “你的身体受得了吗？”我担心地问，这时，他突然一手揪起胸口一手握住方向盘，好像很难受。No way?赶紧倾过身握住他按着方向盘的手，边抚着他的背边问：“带了药吗？还是我去叫子扬好了！马上！你等我一下！” 我想拉开车门却被他扯回来，在我来不及反应的时候，他倾上前在我耳边说：“我没事。陪我喝一杯热奶茶就好了。” “喂喂喂牎你这个不老实的烂个性什么时候会改啊？”我白了他一眼用手肘抵着车门，不看他。 “什么时候啊？”听他的声音好像真的在反省，回头认真地向他点头声明，他思考好一会，然后回身看着我说：“很难。”我没好气地赌上一句：“有什么好难的！” 他笑着把手指摊开来一个个要数出来似地说：“很难啊！你看我得先等你不再叫我喂喂喂，等你坦白一点，等你不爱逞强学着依赖我一点，等你每天都愿意陪我喝热奶茶，不分季节。嗯，还有——”他眼睛眨呀眨地又把嘴边的话停顿下来，“还有什么？”故意忍住莫名的感动就直盯着他问。 他轻轻将我拥入怀中再摸摸我的头，好一会吸足了气再认真地说：“还有，等你喜欢上我。” 这时，也不知道哪里来的勇气，我慢慢拉开我们之间的距离，和黄子捷好好地面对面，“笨蛋，你不用再等待了。”我说。为了眼前走过的风雨，我决定卸下自己的武装和逞强。 我笨拙地吻了他的唇，坚定地对他说：“一点也不难。我喜欢你。”是的，你是上帝的天使，也是我的热奶茶。 接受到我的吻和告白，黄子捷微微惊讶的眼神有些不知所措，一会低头一会抬头，抿嘴又咬唇，兴奋得像个孩子。 嘴边有淡淡的甜味，黄子捷的吻洋溢着甜蜜的温柔。这是热奶茶的魔法吗？正在怀疑时，他顽皮地轻轻吻上我的唇。 温热柔软的讯息传来，我想，是吧。 [二个月后] 银色奥迪跑车穿梭在南部的纯朴之中，悠悠蓝蓝的天空，旷野田边的水鹭被车身的炫亮吓得全振翅飞起。微微和风吹拂配上自然花草的气息，会让人特别悸动和不舍。眯起眼，我幸福地微笑。 “哇？我的方向感失灵了吗？”戴着墨镜的他握着方向盘，孩子气地自言自语。“你是开到哪里去啊？迷路？”我故意调侃他的傻气，觉得很可爱。 “怎么可能？前面有几户人家，你等着，我去问问。”他一脸笑着自信地推开车门又转身拿车上的手机去拨。 “喂牎别逞强啊牎直接打电话问嘛，傻瓜啊牎”我立起身子对他喊着，才说完他一转角就失去了踪影，注视好一会没有动静，我推开车门也循着走去。 走了几步路，脚步被眼前的光景扯住。在前方阳光洒下的纯朴小径，他和他同时出现，并肩笑着，非常熟悉地笑着。 有一股激流冲上了胸口鼓涨着再缓缓扩散开来，促使眼眶迅速湿润，让眼前的两人变得模糊却更耀眼……那是永远也不会消失的温暖，是，一杯热奶茶的温度。 (full text)