Chapter 2 2 hitching a ride

Soon after, Ah Wen came back unharmed.As soon as he came back, he sat down without speaking, a little embarrassed, I thought about what to ask? "Your angel?" I asked cautiously. "Hmm..." He responded and looked at the court without saying a word. "Pretty beautiful..." I didn't even know what I was talking about. "I have to go. Sorry, thank you just now." Ah Wen stood up and patted the dust off his body, seeing Huang Zijie stretch out his hand, Huang Zijie smiled and shook hands with Ah Wen without saying anything. "Well, bye" was all I could say.He smiled and turned away.

Seeing the lonely figure of Ah Wen walking away, my whole heart was pulled together.Ah Wen must be very sad, but I don't know how to comfort him.I still don't know anything, haven't progressed anything.Ah Wen still likes his angel. "What's the matter? You sigh when the handsome guy leaves. Anyway, I'm also considered a handsome guy." Huang Zijie teased me, but I felt powerless and didn't respond. "Hey, do you think I'm useless?" My mood suddenly became very down, I got up and walked out of the basketball court... Huang Zijie didn't know when to follow, and touched my head with his hand, a very gentle feeling, as if saying that it was not my fault.Looking up at Huang Zijie's smile, it suddenly made me want to cry.

"Huh? Didn't you come to see Yijun?" After sorting out his emotions, he asked him, "Yes! She called me. But it's about 8 o'clock in the evening, which is still early." "Then what are you doing here so early? Didn't you say you won't be surprised? Heh." I pushed him with my elbow and said with a smile. He smiled and shook his head. "No, I'm looking for you... let's go eat—" he spoke so shockingly that I was at a loss. "Have dinner with me? Why? Shouldn't you be so poor that you want me to invite you?" I said with a smile. "I invite you, can you please? Miss, please enjoy yourself! Hehe——"

"Okay, everyone has to eat anyway. It doesn't matter who you eat with. But you have nothing to ask me for dinner? It's a bit strange!" I stuck out my tongue. "Oh, thank you for washing my coat very clean. Let's go and park my car over there!" He pulled me to walk from the left. "Then I'll go back and get my helmet—" I pointed to the dormitory. "Miss! Brother, I will drive today. If you want to wear a helmet in the car, I have no objection. It's just that I will feel very embarrassed." He smiled and pulled me to the parking place, and my eyes widened.

"Are you driving?" I looked at him and said, but he smiled and nodded without speaking.Oh, then he must be one of those rich and spoiled kids. "You dude..." I said what was in my heart coldly, and he looked at me and said, "Oh, you called me." I nodded vigorously, and he smiled happily and didn't refute. Huang Zijie's car looked very high-end.A dark indigo Audi, the kind with four rings.This car matches him very well, and people have to admit that he does have his attractiveness.Only then did I start paying attention to what he was wearing today.Since his hair was a bit long, he tied it into a ponytail.I don't like boys with hair that is too short or too long, his hair is just too long and looks cynical.However, his prominent facial features suit his face shape very well.A dark blue short-neck sweater, blue straight jeans and a pair of half boots have a special temperament.

He opened the car door for me and let me sit in, yo, how considerate.But as soon as he sat in, I stared at him, and he said, "What? In love with me?" "I'm nervous, I'm wondering why you don't cut your hair." I tugged at his ponytail, "It looks better if it's shorter." "Really? Isn't this handsome? A handsome guy looks handsome with any kind of hair." He tugged at the bangs that fell in front of him, turned to me and said with a smile.I rolled my eyes at him, super narcissistic, "What do you want to eat?" I was too lazy to discuss hair with him.

"Well, eat Japanese food." He said while driving.I shouted happily: "Hey, hey, I like Japanese food very much!" "What hello? My name is Huang Zijie, don't you know? Hehe——let's go, I know there is a delicious Japanese restaurant in Taipei." Huh?Go to Taipei to eat.So far away, I suddenly realized that I shouldn't go so far with him for dinner. "Taipei? It's too far away... Didn't you make an appointment with Yijun at 8pm? It's too late to go back and forth like this." I looked at him and said anxiously. Unexpectedly, he smiled and said to me: "Hey hey hey --- it's too late. You're on a pirate ship." Then he continued to drive his car.

I don't know what kind of medicine Huang Zijie sells in his gourd, and I feel uneasy. I'm not used to being involved with friends of friends, including boyfriends. Huang Zijie is Yijun's boyfriend. Although he is only one of them, I can understand that Yijun loves Huang Zijie the most among many boyfriends with a woman's intuition. After dinner, Huang Zijie didn't go back to Taoyuan immediately, but drove to Yangmingshan instead.I look at my watch, it's past 8 o'clock. "You are late for your date with Yijun..." At this moment, the music on his mobile phone rang. "Yijun, I can't leave now, I'll make it up to you another day, are you good--well, bye." Yijun didn't stalk this slippery guy, she was very conniving towards Huang Zijie .

Wait, did I make a mistake?Huang Zijie turned down the date with Yijun because of me?What does this mean? ...I looked back at him. "Here we are. Huh? What's the matter? You don't have to stare at me so angrily. Hehe—I'll take you up here to relax. Your few catties of meat can't be sold for much money." He looked at me with a smile, and there was nothing to do with him. Huang Zijie and Yijun's breakup After arriving at Yangmingshan, I got out of the car, and it was really cold with a gust of cool wind.I walked to the wooden chair on the other side of the stand and sat down to watch the night view of Taipei City. It was a wonderful feeling, and my mood became much more comfortable.

Just as I was rubbing my arms subconsciously, a blue coat was put on. "If you want to die from the cold, don't be brave if you have a cold." Huang Zijie stretched his waist and sat down beside me.We didn't talk, just looked at the night view of Taipei City. It's really useless today, a person who is not open about love can never take risks.For Ah Wen, I hardly dare to face up to my feelings.It was just an inexplicable night, I saw the inexplicable Ah Wen, waiting for the inexplicable angel.Is it the melancholy of those eyes that draws me?Or was it the infatuated waiting for the angel's heart that moved me?I have never seriously asked what I care about, and I don't even have the courage to let go and squander. Sometimes I envy Yijun's control over love.

"You don't need to force yourself, isn't it good to let nature take its course?" Huang Zijie looked at me with a smile, and patted my head casually.As if he knew exactly what I was thinking, I was a little surprised, looking at his smile. Huang Zijie got up and walked forward, looked up at the sky and didn't speak for a while.I looked at his lonely figure, maybe there was an unspeakable secret under his smiling face. "I'll get my hair cut." He untied his ponytail, let his shoulder-length hair blow in the wind, then turned around and said, "As long as you like it, I'll do it." What nonsense is this Huang Zijie talking about?I almost passed out. I didn't see Huang Zijie for about two weeks after that, and of course, I took his words as a joke.And Ah Wen also disappeared without a trace, I forced myself to regard Ah Wen as a dream, and tried to forget it. As usual, I'm sitting in front of the computer and working on my fatal graduation project. I have to go ahead of schedule at the end of this month. It's really tight, so I can only work hard. "Bell..." I took the phone. "Hello? Xiaohua, I'm Wu Yufan, Mei Fen said that she will come to you later." Oh, it's a male student in the class.He also lives near the township office, and Meifen is in the same group as him for graduation production. "oh I got it." "By the way. Big Brother said that we are going to eat steamed buns today." Wu Yufan always spoke very slowly. "Oh, understand. Meet at your door at 1 am, right? OK, bye" After hanging up the phone, I closed my sore eyes to rest when the doorbell rang.Is Maven here?I pulled my clothes and brushed my hair to open the door. Who knew that standing at the door was Yijun with red and swollen eyes and tears in her eyes.As soon as she opened the door, she grabbed me and cried. I was so confused that I had to ask her to come in and sit down first. I poured her a glass of warm water and said, "What's wrong? What happened?" After a long time, Yijun stood up and sobbed, "My boyfriend said he wanted to break up with me." Huh?I can't ask which boyfriend it is, can I? "Oh, Zijie doesn't want me anymore." After she finished speaking, she continued to cry. Huang Zijie? "You are not very good..." I said a little guilty, I just hope it's not because of my relationship.But the images of that night on Yangmingshan kept reappearing, and when I thought of the smile on his face when he took off his ponytail and looked back, my heart beat super fast. "I don't know either. He came to see me just now, and he wanted to break up without giving any reason." She continued to sob. The doorbell rang again. Is Meffin here?I hesitated and opened the door, ah, Huang Zijie... He just stood at the door and looked at me without saying a word...ah, he cut off his hair, his clean face is completely different from his before, his eyes are watery, and he can generate electricity very well.I turned to look at Yijun. Yijun grabbed Huang Zijie like crazy and cried, saying she didn't want to break up.I pretended to be calm and sat on the bed reading a book.Huang Zijie looked at me without saying a word, while Yijun was holding him and crying with his back to me, God—what's the situation?Don't make me repeat the same mistakes, don't make me think of all the embarrassments in the past... "What's going on? Xiaohua?" Meifen came upstairs suspiciously.Ah, I love you the most! I took my coat and dragged Meffin outside. "You guys have a good talk. Mefen and I went out. The door is not closed, you continue..." After finishing speaking, go downstairs quickly, I don't want to make things so complicated, don't mess with me, God Finally, Meifen and I lasted until 1:00 in the morning, only to see my eldest brother’s motorcycle riding over from the side of the basketball court.Wu Yufan opened the door of his house and came out, and Mei Fen and I each got on a motorcycle and were going to have supper. When I stepped into my eldest brother's car and was about to leave, I saw a black hero passing by us and stopped at the township office.I looked back, and the man took off his helmet, ah, it was Ah Wen. I don't know how bad and painful it can be to be in a mess all night.Until I saw a girl walking in front of Ah Wen and hugging Ah Wen tightly, my heart seemed to be hit tens of kilometers away, and I felt very difficult to breathe... A delicious supper was ruined by my emotions.Huang Zijie's eyes, Yijun's tears, and the picture of Ah Wen hugging the girl kept coming to mind. "Xiaohua, what are you doing? Isn't the picture finished?" The eldest brother looked at me and said.I stuffed a small steamed bun into my mouth and shook my head at my elder brother, very disrespectful. "Huh? Isn't the teacher going to read the manuscript tomorrow?" Wu Yufan still spoke slowly.That's right, I need to read the manuscript. I haven't finished editing the picture yet. "Tsk, don't sleep..." On the way home, my elder brother worriedly asked me if I was too tired from the graduation production?I squeezed out a smile and said no, a little ashamed, it's nice to have friends. When I returned to the township office, I was stunned, and the black Hero was parked by the door.My feet seem to be frozen, I don't know how to describe my mood at this time.Am I getting hit?Or should he be happy for Ah Wen?I hope that Ah Wen can be happy, I have been wishing so since the night I saw him... But I can't do it without feeling in my heart. After taking out the key to open the door, I turned around and saw Huang Zijie coming from the stairs. I said solemnly, "... Where is Yijun?" "Sleep." He said tiredly.I nodded and took off my shoes, pulled the doorknob and said, "Then go to bed early too, good night." "Yijun and I..." He wanted to continue. "Forget it. It's impossible for us. What you said that night will be treated as a joke. Don't mess with me. You can play if you want, but I can't afford it." A series of words that didn't scruple Huang Zijie's feelings came from my mouth continuously pop up.I don't know if I'm angry or jealous?It was Ah Wen's car and his hug with the angel just now that made me stop being a good person, and I would collapse if I was one step away. I didn't want Huang Zijie to know. I looked at him pretending not to care, and stared at him as if he was the most annoying person.He actually smiled at me as usual, walked up to me and gently touched my head and said, "What's wrong with you?" The ground was spinning in the eye sockets, and he didn't even dare to blink. "Go back and be with Yijun, I'm going to bed." I closed the door without looking at him or saying goodbye.I was in a mess, paralyzed on the bed and couldn't sleep at all, but I didn't have the heart to do my homework.When the teacher reads the manuscript tomorrow, he will definitely scold me. Afterwards, I lived a peaceful life for nearly a month. Except for graduation productions and meetings, I just ate and slept. Today's weather is very good, there will be no classes after 3 pm.I first went to 7-11 to buy hot milk tea, and then went to the small stands of the basketball court next to the township office to watch other people play basketball.When I sat down, I thought of Ah Wen.One month doesn't seem too short, so why can't we forget things that should be forgotten? "Xiaohua? What are you doing?" Wu Yufan walked over slowly with a basketball in his hand. His girlfriend, the first class flower in our class, Jiahan, also greeted me behind him. "Just the two of you?" I said while drinking hot milk tea, Wu Yufan shook his head and said, "My high school classmate said he wanted to play here. He said he wanted to see my girlfriend along the way...he said he would bring his girlfriend too Let me see." I could tell that Wu Yufan was very happy, and I couldn't help laughing at him: "Yo, show off———————" Wu Yufan smiled happily, and Jiahan went away with a happy face. Help Wu Yufan pick up the ball.Seeing people happy makes me happy. "Hey, Wu Yufan, I'm here." My smile was instantly frozen by the sudden figure, and Ah Wen and a girl came into my eyes.Ah Wen saw me and said with a smile, "Xiao Hua? Are you there?" I hurriedly concealed my surprise and astonishment, and nodded with a smile. Wu Yufan, Ah Wen and the players on the field were in a bullfight. I sat with Jiahan and the girls brought by Ah Wen. "Are you Ah Wen's girlfriend?" Jiahan, who was always cheerful, asked the girl.Only then did I dare to look at the girl. She wears a cropped white blouse with floral hair and black boots.A pair of big eyes, waist-length hair dyed auburn, like a foreign doll, is a very beautiful girl.Let me see how I look again, huh?Skateboard pants and a blue wide T-Shirt, it’s better to just hit your head to death... It turns out that the girl Ah Wen likes looks like this. "Then what's your name?" Jiahan asked her with an innocent smile, and she said softly, "Li Ruolan." What a poetic name. "Xiaohua, do you want to play?" Wu Yufan turned his head and asked after he made a layup. I signaled to Jiahan and Li Ruolan whether to go down and play. Of course, *beauties and shy beauties don't make rude moves.Forget it, I don't care about my illness when I'm so bored. Ah Wen watched me walk over with a smile. Wu Yufan threw the ball to me for practice. He hadn't touched the ball for more than a year. "Have you recovered enough to play?" Wu Yufan asked suspiciously. "I'm playing with my life, ha ha—" I said.Ah Wen turned around and asked, "Are you sick?" I throw the ball at random and miss it. "It's just shortness of breath, it's not a serious illness." It's too bad, I feel stiff and inflexible in my hands and feet. After a game, I had a good time, but I really regressed, and my shooting percentage was less than 50%. It's time to practice hard. After playing the ball game, five of us went to an ice fruit shop and sat down. Everyone ordered a cold drink, but I still used to order a cup of hot milk tea. "Why don't you drink something cold?" Jiahan looked at me puzzled, and then wiped Wu Yufan's sweat beside him. "You can't drink cold immediately when you are short of breath." Ruolan took the papaya milk from the boss, and handed it to Ah Wen beside her, saying.Ah Wen looked at her and smiled, as if complimenting her intelligence. "I didn't expect you and Wu Yufan to be college classmates, heh." Ah Wen mixed the papaya milk and looked at me and Wu Yufan with a smile. "Well, I didn't expect you and Wu Yufan to be classmates in high school." "You said you've been dating for three years?" Wu Yufan asked while drinking pearl milk tea, Ruolan blushed and smiled and said nothing, tugging at Ah Wen's clothes. God——looks super happy!I can't help but want to laugh, this is really my old problem, seeing other people happy makes me happy, really happy. I think, I decided to give up this boy who has been waiting for an angel. a slap in the face "Meffen! Wait for me!" In the school parking lot, I happened to see Muffin walking up the steps in the same design management class.Meifen looked over with a smile on her face, and I quickly parked the car and followed. "Why? Are you so energetic today?" She looked understanding, and I laughed too.I never mentioned anything to her and she never asked unless I wanted to.It makes me very relaxed and comfortable. "Didn't Yijun bring a boy to class last time?" We first went to the welfare agency to buy food, Meifen said while picking out bread.I took two bottles of green milk tea from the refrigerator, and turned around and asked, "Huh? You said Huang Zijie?" Oh, yes, yesterday I was asked by Ah Q and they made such a move that they forgot that there was such a character. "It seems so... Yuanyuan said they broke up." Meifen handed me a taro bread. "...Why did you break up?" I took the taro bread and asked pretending not to care. Meifen shrugged: "I don't know, Yijun——I'm too lazy to talk about her." After class, I went back to the dormitory alone, "Hey, aren't you Xiaohua? I'm Ruolan." Turning around, I saw Ruolan was about to take out the key, she had a sweet smile on her face, she was still so beautiful.I smiled awkwardly, go, I really don't know what I'm embarrassing about? "Do you live here too? What a coincidence, so I can visit you often." Ruolan's voice is very sweet and full of kindness, she is really a good girl. "Okay, I live on the fifth floor. How about you?" I pulled my backpack and smiled. "I live on the third floor, remember to come and find me... Are you friends?" Ruolan motioned to my back, I turned around slowly, and the dark indigo Audi drove into the alley.Before I rolled down the window, I had a bad feeling. Isn't this car Huang Zijie's? Huang Zijie rolled down the car window and smiled at me, Ruolan walked up to me and said with a smile, "Your boyfriend?" Ah, before I could shake my head, I saw Yijun riding back to the dormitory from another road.I immediately froze in place, and Ruolan said without knowing it, "You're so handsome, he's better than Ah Wen." Huang Zijie didn't dodge or close the window, as if he was waiting for me to walk over. Yijun parked the car and came over, slapped me on the face with a "slap!" Huang Zijie immediately got out of the car and came over.Unexpectedly, Ruolan slapped Yijun back on the face with a "slap——" and said coldly, "Who are you hitting? Look at it carefully." Yijun raised her hand just as she wanted to fight back against Ruolan. , was grabbed by Huang Zijie. "Yijun, this is a problem between us. It has nothing to do with Xiaohua, don't hit people." Huang Zijie's tone was very calm, as if he knew this would happen. "She's the third party? It's because of her that you want to break up, isn't it?" I stared at Huang Zijie with wide eyes. Yijun's tears started to fall again in an instant, and she stared at me bitterly, then she tightened her backpack and rushed into the dormitory, Ruolan gave her an annoyed look.I frowned and touched my red and swollen left cheek.Ruolan seemed to understand something, and said with a smile, "It's fine, Xiaohua...I'll go up first. I'll find you on the fifth floor tonight." She waved to Huang Zijie and walked in. Huang Zijie came to me and pulled my hand away, squatting down to look at my face. "Why are you looking at my face, why don't you go up to coax your girlfriend..." I quickly turned my head away from him, not knowing what to say. Who knew that Huang Zijie suddenly hugged me tightly, and after a while, he said, "I won't chase. I just want to watch you." What are you talking about, I struggled to break free from his hug and said, "Don't be kidding, what are you doing?" It really pissed me off—— "It was that rainy day..." He said slowly, huh?What?I look back at him. "The day I followed you, that's what I decided." Well...he was talking about the day I walked to the clinic alone when I was sick, and the day he went to get the medicine. "Oh, there's no way. You looked like you needed someone to take care of you at that time, and I didn't want you to be alone..." He touched my face and began to smile again, a very gentle smile. "Let's go, I'll take you out for a walk." He took my hand and walked towards the car. After getting in Huang Zijie's car, I kept looking out the window. From the slap by Yijun to being pulled into the car by Huang Zijie, a series of shocks kept coming to my mind and I couldn't get rid of them. Wait, I have to start over and think again.Why was I beaten just now?Did Yijun misunderstand me, or did Huang Zijie say something?What did Huang Zijie mean by those words just now?What am I doing again?I should have run far away.Everything is messed up, I didn't intend to destroy them, this time I really jumped into the Yellow River and I can't clean it up. "I want to go back." Just leave Huang Zijie as soon as possible, all this is a misunderstanding, I must explain it clearly to Yijun. Huang Zijie parked the car in a place surrounded by mountains and surrounded by rice fields. "Get out of the car. If you want to go back, have a look at the scenery before you go." He smiled at me, and I nodded and opened the car door and walked out. Huang Zijie stood by the car and looked around, while I walked slowly to the center of the rice field, opened my arms and closed my eyes to feel the force of the wind.The smell of the wind is green and refreshing, light and soft, very comfortable. When I close my eyes, my body easily loses my sense of balance. I didn’t notice that I was standing on the ridge of the field. I stepped back and fell into the field full of weeds. “Ah, it hurts.” I hurt I have to shout out, it’s too bad, Huang Zijie will definitely laugh at me, his mouth is so unforgiving, and the weeds even cut my arms and cheeks, huh?It hurts, it looks like I sprained my foot. Before I got up from the field, I turned my head and saw Huang Zijie rushing from the edge of the field far away.I will always remember that scene, he ran over anxiously, and said with a pale face, "You... are you okay?" Although he was still panting, he still looked at me with his usual smile, and stretched out his hand to pull me. Suddenly, my feet twitched in pain, and he also fell down.Ok?Isn't he very strong? I was about to laugh at him, but I found that he was clutching his chest, his face was pale, and his lips were purple. "Huang Zijie? What's wrong with you?" The sudden situation made me very nervous. What should I do? "...I'm fine, heh." He managed to squeeze out these words, and forced himself to laugh. "Xiaohua, do me a favor... I have two cans of medicine in my pocket...give me the blue one..." "Is it this bottle?" Seeing his overwhelmed expression, I was so anxious that tears came out, "How much do you want? I'll get it for you." I poured the medicine in my hand and handed it to him. He took two and stuffed them into his mouth, sweat dripping out. As soon as he finished taking the medicine, he lowered his head to prevent me from seeing his expression. After a while, he slowly raised his head to look at me and smiled again.This smile puts a lot of pressure on me, and I always feel that this guy is trying to be brave. "Don't laugh, you're going to scare me to death. Are you better?" I said angrily, and took out a tissue from my pocket and handed it to him. "Thank you,...I'm much better. Huh—" He wiped the sweat off his face with a tissue, took a deep breath and frowned. "Are you going to the hospital?" I asked.He shook his head: "I'm used to it, but it hasn't happened for a long time. I'm fine." I grabbed his shoulder and said, "You have heart disease, don't you?" I suddenly remembered the scene where he casually said that he was ill, and then lied to me that he was not ill. Tsk, reverse operation, it turns out that the illness is true. "Hey——you fell into the rice field, which made me nervous—can I go? I'll carry you?...Or you want to sit and look at the scenery, ha ha." He said like He looked back at me as if nothing had happened, but there was still no blood on his cheeks, trying to be brave.I didn't say a word, I just kept staring at him, and I didn't want to quickly recruit Zhenai to pretend to be garlic. My thoughts suddenly drifted back to two years ago, "Really. I never asked for anything from him..." Her brows were slightly frowned, and I could feel her trembling and her great courage.If I was not awakened by her words, I would never know how deeply I hurt her.Just one look, and I'm completely lost.If you want to pursue "desperately", you have to bear a greater price, and I will not try such pain easily again. It has been two years since she disappeared. I made a solemn vow in my heart that I would never mention it or think about it again, but why did I remember it again?There is an inexplicable sadness in my heart, and there is no way to get out.It is impossible to treat things that have happened before as non-existent, let alone destroying other people's happiness with my own hands... If I can choose again, if I can. "Are your feet?" Huang Zijie asked me in a low voice, calling me back to reality.My expression must be very tangled, otherwise Huang Zijie wouldn't think my feet hurt. "The face was cut by the grass." He touched the wound on my cheek with his hand, and the speed at which I deliberately moved away made his hand hang in mid-air before he could react. "Does it hurt?" He asked, and I nodded. After all the conditions were resolved, I habitually pushed away the people around me who wanted to care about me. "I'm fine. Are you okay with your illness? Don't be brave, go to the hospital and have a look. Go back?" I said without expression.Now, I just want to send him back to Yijun.Put three locks on the demon in my heart and imprison for life. When the car slowly drove into the alley, it was already past 7 o'clock in the evening. "Let's go, let's go up together." I turned my head and said to Huang Zijie with a smile.He leaned his head on the steering wheel, and said in a way that he could hardly speak: "Why? You want me to find her?" "Don't make Yijun sad, even if she has so many lovers, she still loves you the most. Talk to her well, why do you want to run away?" There was a cold smile on the corner of his mouth, as if to make me regret what I just said. "Okay, I'll go. Get out of the car." The elevator reached the fourth floor. After Huang Zijie walked out, he smiled softly at me. My heart trembled slightly. Did I do something wrong?The elevator doors closed, and I just didn't want to see Yijun cry or make her resentful.There was a feeling of loathing myself. In the final analysis, I just wanted to "be wise and protect my life" selfishly. I don't want to be hurt, so I hurt others first; I don't want to be responsible, so I run away. Shake your head -- don't think about it anymore, huh?I posted a note on my door: Dear Xiaohua——— If you get home, please come to the third floor Ah Wen and I cooked hot pot, let's eat together. Hey, I don't know when you'll come back—we'll eat first, waiting for you! Ruolan＾_＾——— The damn eyes lingered on the word "Awen" for a long time.Should I go?Let's take a shower first. "Ding dong——" Ruolan opened the door and asked me to go in with a smile.The heat from the hot pot filled the whole room, Ah Wen smiled at me through the steam: "Are you here?" I smiled unnaturally, as if I was trying to cover up something. The three of us gathered around the hot pot, Ruolan helped me pack the sand tea sauce, and Ah Wen helped me pack the hot pot ingredients.I was like a stray dog ​​on the side of the road who broke into the sweet home of a newlywed couple, a stray dog ​​who was hungry and exhausted, and at most could only expect a meal.I have the self-knowledge of a stray dog, happiness will never really be mine, I get it. "Huh? Xiaohua, what's wrong with your face?" Ruolan put down the bowl, gently touched the wound on my face, Ah Wen's gaze was also on my cheek.Uncomfortably, I pretended to be calm and shook my head with a smile and said, "I was cut, a small injury, it's okay." Ruolan immediately got up and said, "No, I need to apply the medicine. It's all red and swollen, right? Ah Wen." She opened the drawer in the closet and searched for the first-aid kit. Ah Wen sat beside me and looked at my face. I told Ruolan: "Sterilize first. Is there any hydrogen peroxide? Huh? The back of my hand was also cut. Where did you go?" I couldn't breathe at first, and I couldn't hear any sound.Just because Ah Wen was looking at me less than 30 centimeters away from me. "Huh? Hydrogen peroxide? No more, only red potion. I'll go buy it—" Ruolan said impatiently.I quickly shook my head and said no. "I'll go." Ah Wen said.Ruolan put on her coat and said, "No need, anyway, I want to buy some vegetables and some things by the way." "What can't I buy?" Ah Wen's bewildered expression was very interesting. "Female products!" Ruolan said and closed the door. I saw Ah Wen's face flushed, and I couldn't help laughing out loud. As soon as Ruolan left, I lost the ability to strike up a conversation.Ah Wen looked at Ruolan's first aid kit, "Huh? This Ruolan is really confused. Isn't this hydrogen peroxide?" Ah Wen said in a distressed tone. "Let me sterilize you, don't move..." Ah Wen took out a cotton swab and dipped it in hydrogen peroxide, and said close to my cheek, "It hurts, bear with it..." I didn't speak or look at him, just looked at him. He didn't dare to move while the hot pot was hot. The "pain" was diluted by relative yearning, and even an inexplicable happiness flooded my heart.Ah Wen's gentleness spread to my cheeks through the cotton swab, and finally flowed to my left chest. A week has passed, and every night I spend ten minutes lying in bed greedily reminiscing about the tenderness of that night.Not only Ah Wen's, but also Ruolan's.No matter when, Ruolan can be very elegant, and occasionally her shyness when she half-covers her smile will inadvertently attract my attention, as if she was born to be a work of art.The perfect Venus descended before my eyes, and I abstained without even a chance of losing. After that, I often saw Ah Wen haunting this building.To be honest, my mood is indeed a bit complicated, but even if I have a little regret, it is enough for me to see Ah Wen often, and seeing his happy gentle smile, I only hope that he can be happy. Recently, I have frequent attacks of asthma, which often make me unable to sleep in the middle of the night.I wrapped myself in a blanket and squatted in front of the computer to edit pictures, drank hot tea, and occasionally leaned against the bed to rest when I was too tired.Thursday is today, and as expected, I have a fever. Putting on my knitted hat, I reluctantly rode my bike to the school to take design management classes. Even the teacher's roll call was answered by Mei Fen and Wu Yufan for me.It was uncomfortable to sleep lying on the table for two classes, and the teacher thought I was playing big cards.Later Meifen saw that I was dying, so she and Wu Yufan sent me back. I didn't know how long it had been since I fell asleep in a daze, when my cell phone rang suddenly, shit, I forgot to turn off the cell phone.It was some desperate guy who quarreled with me, and when I got on the phone, I didn't even have the energy to say "Hello". "Hello? Xiaohua, I'm Yijun——are you free for a while, I'll wait for you" Before the weak me can answer, she hangs up, Yijun's personality always brings A little domineering, a little willful... Also, Yijun called me?Did you hear me wrong? After being slapped by her, I didn't see her come to school, and I thought she would never forgive me in this life.My head was still hurting, so I had to put on a black knit hat and a black coat in slow motion and staggered down. Just as he was about to knock on the door, the door opened, "Hey, Xiaohua, I went to buy cheesecake today, and I gave it to you to eat." Yijun handed over a box of small cakes with an exaggerated smile. "Well... thank you." I nodded, turned around and wanted to leave, but Yijun grabbed me with another stride, and her hand knocked open the bedroom door intentionally or unintentionally. "That day, I'm so sorry. I hit you without knowing it." Her habitual coquetry with folded hands made me the most uncomfortable, so don't make me want to vomit if I already have a headache. "Oh, never mind." That's all I could say.Yijun's body was slightly sideways, and I inadvertently looked in through the slightly open bedroom door.Huang Zijie sat sideways on the floor watching TV, I quickly looked away, for fear of being slapped by Yijun again. "I reconciled with Zijie. He said that I wronged you and asked me to find an opportunity to apologize to you." Huang Zijie is the strong taming lion, taming Yijun as if nothing happened. However, I know that Yijun is not a fool, she would rather believe in Huang Zijie than speculate, otherwise Huang Zijie will definitely leave her if the trouble continues.A box of cheesecake was just an excuse for her to come down and accept an apology?She just wanted to hint that I don't want to touch Huang Zijie's idea, so she deliberately let me see Huang Zijie staying in her room, prevention is better than cure. "It's good that you're fine. I'm not feeling well and I want to go back to sleep." I really couldn't do it anymore, I had such a headache that I couldn't think.What do you want?Don't bother me anymore.The headache makes me feel like I can't see anything.I managed to squeeze out a smile for Yijun, and turned to leave. 谁知她又接话：“嘿牎子捷不知道你在门外。你不跟子捷打招呼吗？”怡君是怎么回事啊？别挑战我的忍耐限度。我按了电梯压住怒气说：“不用麻烦了，晚安。”电梯门合上的那一秒，怡君的笑容瞬间消失得无影无踪。 有预谋的约会 身体的痛楚并没有好转，我躺在床上已经超过了两个小时，却怎么样也睡不着。想起怡君夸张的笑容和轻佻的言词；想起黄子捷坐在怡君房间里看电视，却像是灵魂出窍似的没有生气，看不见他常给我的笑脸。我的情绪很低落，那一天黄子捷是真心要回去的吗？可是他可以不听我的话啊？有点闷，黄子捷真是蛮可怜的，怡君真坏…… “叮咚——”门铃响了。我忍着头疼穿上外套，缓缓起身去开门。 “热奶茶。”黄子捷递给我一罐热奶茶。 一脸温柔的笑容，有点傻气，他就出现在我眼前。 “怎么了？眼睛大到要掉出来。不让我进去喔？”黄子捷从我左侧边走进房间，脱下他的厚外套挂起来，然后若无其事地坐在我的地板上喝着热奶茶。 “你想害我喔？我可不想再无缘无故被扁，到时候你女朋友美丽的脸蛋被我打花了，我可不管喔。你可别找我算账……”我拿起另一罐热奶茶说着，顺便把拉环打开闻了闻奶茶的香味。 “呵呵，很像你会做的事。”黄子捷吃吃地笑出来，一点都不在意我的话，还一副“请便”的样子。算了，拿他没办法。 转开电视后，我回身看着他。 “发烧了？”黄子捷的手忽然伸过来轻触我干裂的嘴唇，我赶紧喝热奶茶来掩饰尴尬。 “知道还不快走，小心我传染给你。”我起身走到窗前吹风。他似乎对生病很敏感，光看对方的脸色或嘴唇就能知道对方的身体状况似的。 今天有点冷，天空的月光倒是很美。 “发烧就好好休息，不是还在气喘？”黄子捷冷不防地就站在我的身边，替我盖上外套轻声说着。我惊讶地回身看着他的微笑，却什么话也说不出口，眼前这个男孩是什么时候开始出现在我生活里的？而且没有经过我允许。 “你跟怡君……为什么，我的意思是……”我拉紧外套说着。这种脱口而出的口吃特别让人容易怀疑，但我真没别的意思。 “不知道为什么而活，不知道该怎么活。我试着追求过自己想要的生活，可终究还是得顺其自然。这样真没意思，所以，放弃也没什么不好，不是吗？”黄子捷扶着窗口不带什么表情地说。难道是因为他的病吗？……“怡君知道你有心脏病吗？”他笑着摇摇头，随后叹口气，望着我说：“要不然你就成为我生活的目标，我会努力拼一拼的，如何？” 我赶紧走到床边的垃圾桶去丢热奶茶空罐，试着平复自己被搅乱的情绪。刚回身，就看见黄子捷站在门边笑嘻嘻地说：“嘿，你没说话就是答应了喔？”×的牎我今天怎么老是被别人耍着玩？ 也不知道是从哪来的怒气，我冲动地走到他跟前，拉开门推他出去，说：“死人头牎你想得美牎要我喜欢你，下辈子再说牎”随即我用力地关上门，靠着门喘息一番，好不痛快。 啊，他的外套还挂在我的椅子上，我再次打开门叫住他：“喂牎外套。” 黄子捷的脸色好像有点苍白：“小姐——我都快死了。能不能对我好一点啊——这么凶！小心嫁不出去喔！”说毕笑着关上电梯门。 我站在门口愣了好一会，突然觉得黄子捷是那种会把严重的事情说得很滑头轻淡的人。 梅芬给我打了个电话，说是明天请我吃港式下午茶，还说要让我鉴定一下她的男朋友。老实说，我挺兴奋的，不知道梅芬的男朋友长得怎么样？ 第二天看完医生后已经过了约定时间，我急忙赶去赴约。“抱歉。医生话太多，路远，停车位又难找……”我连忙解释，梅芬笑嘻嘻地说：“没关系啦——点些东西吃吧，这儿有菜单牎” 梅芬用手肘轻推她旁边的那个阳光男孩，然后男孩有点腼腆地说：“你好！我叫张毅东。叫我毅东就好。小华，久仰大名了——” “满意满意，告诉你，我很满意。”我边吃美味的鲜虾河粉，边笑着跟梅芬小声地说，她也笑了。 “嗯？对了！你说有什么好东西要送给我？奶蛋黄千层糕，还是鲜虾腐豆皮？”我边用筷子切开腊味萝卜糕边问。 “给你相亲啊！毅东念辅大的朋友也来了——”嗯？毅东念辅大喔。可是没见着别人啊？我以为梅芬在说笑，耸耸肩说：“隐形人喔？”服务生刚好送来一笼蟹黄烧麦，我抢得头筹。 “他去厕所了啦，什么隐形人！”梅芬一脸“都老大不小了还孩子气”的表情，毅东也忍不住腼腆地笑出来，随即说：“终于出来了。喂——绍强！你是去哪边的厕所啊？” 我回头一看，时间空间就在这一刻停住了。“几乎不知道该用什么样的反应去回想那件事，如果没有人提起的话……几乎不知道该用什么样的反应去回想那件事，如果没有人提起的话……几乎不知道该……”这句话在这一刹那不断不断地重复在我脑海里，挥之不去……我看见了即将开启我心中的魔的相关人物，终于还是逃避不了吗？ 遇见旧人 一整晚我都没办法专心做毕业制作，出去走走好了，顺便去多原体买水彩纸。 一如往常地，我先到7—11买一瓶热奶茶握在手中，再缓步走到乡公所前的长椅那儿坐下。 今天吃下午茶的时候，绍强没有说破我跟他是旧识，跟梅芬挥别后，我跟绍强并肩沉默地走着，“你过得还好吗？”他笑着回头看我说。我心头略颤，下意识地点点头。 “绍平就没我过得好了。”多久没听到“绍平”这个名字了，绍强知道我心里介意的是他哥哥的近况，所以主动开了口。 “小茹呢？”我鼓起勇气问。除了绍平，我牵挂的仍是这个被我伤害最深的女孩，她好吗？绍强欲言又止，半晌才缓缓地说：“她住进疗养院了。” 热奶茶洒了，手上的一阵温热把我的思绪抽回。随即我听到熟悉的声音说：“你真的很喜欢喝热奶茶？”阿问拿着一瓶热奶茶温柔地笑着，出现在我眼前，“我也被你传染了，晚上散步都会去买瓶热奶茶来喝。”我猜阿问看得出来我在难过，因为路灯让我脸上的泪痕无所遁形。他静静地坐在我身边偶尔喝口热奶茶。 “若兰呢？”整理好情绪后，我回头问他。“打工去了，晚上11点才回来。”他笑着说。 我起身将热奶茶空罐丢到垃圾桶里说：“我要去多原体买水彩纸了。你要先上去等若兰吗？” “我陪你去买吧。”阿问起身说。 两年了，过去的伤痛并没有真正结束，反而不断提醒我赶紧将快失控的感情抓住，然后牢牢地叮咛自己别再爱了。怡君的黄子捷，若兰的阿问，都一样。即使我曾经有过什么想法，都被小茹抹灭得一干二净。小茹，一个为爱自虐自杀，爱得如此绝对的女孩。 “你很坚强。”高过我一个头的阿问突然低头看着我说。路灯从他的发梢透下一种迷蒙，我以为我看到了天使，一个不了解人类却想安慰人类的天使。 “我很高兴，你跟你的天使在一块了。”我浅浅笑着，扯开关于自己的话题，习惯使然。 “嗯，假如恶魔不再出现的话就更好了，呵。”嗯？他们之间到底有什么问题？不过我不想窥探他们的隐私。 回到宿舍后，我躺在床上翻来覆去地思索，最后终于鼓起勇气拨通一个电话：“绍强吗？我是小华。我想去看小茹。” 绍强给了我龙潭疗养院的地址，这个星期天我便要收拾起拼凑好的回忆，如果不彻底把心魔根除，那么我一辈子都会被禁锢而无法逃脱吧。 下定决心后接下来的两天，我已经没有什么挂碍了，只是忙着赶毕业制作。 “谁？来了———”我一边赶作业一边喝着刚泡的热奶茶，听见有人敲门。也不知道谁会在凌晨1点多来敲门。 “咦？若兰？是你喔牎”若兰穿着浅*连身洋装，捧着一盒小蛋糕来到我的面前，她简直美得冒泡。 我拿出马克杯，想冲杯热奶茶给她喝，她挥挥手说想喝加了冰块的柳橙汁。我拉开冰箱努力翻找一番：“怎么这么晚还不睡？出去狂欢啊？唉，我这里只有冰开水，可以吗？” 若兰点点头，说：“是啊。呵呵———但现在是特地来看看你牎想跟你聊聊天———” 我把刚才泡的热奶茶端过来，坐在若兰旁边。 “你很喜欢喝热奶茶喔？”若兰问，我有点吃惊地盯着手中的热奶茶……喝热奶茶很奇怪吗？ “只是习惯喝热奶茶罢了。两年前我把身体弄得很坏，大病小病不断。医生警告我不能再喝冷饮，要不然就等死好了。”我苦笑着说。 “也就是说，你只是'习惯'喝而不是'喜欢'喝？像我总是喜欢尝试不同的果汁饮料什么的，新鲜点嘛———”若兰把小蛋糕打开，将一块乳酪蛋糕推到我前面。 我喜欢喝热奶茶吗？这可真是把我考倒了。难道自己是不喜欢换口味、不喜欢尝试、更不喜欢冒险的人？ “习惯也没什么不好啊牎我想你一定是'习惯'等待……”若兰俏皮地笑着说。我真是被搞糊涂了。 “等待着你的热奶茶出现啊，又或许，你自己是一杯等待着的热奶茶喔———”若兰颇有禅意的说辞让我一头雾水，不过我不太想继续听下去，因为她说中我的要害。 “呵呵，这怎么能扯在一块呢？你真像诗人。”我努力稳住自己的情绪。 “不知道为什么啊。阿问最近也开始喜欢喝热奶茶了，要不然就只喝热开水。呵呵———你们都一样怪！” 我想我是一个恶魔，一个偷不着心的恶魔。当我听到阿问开始喜欢喝热奶茶的时候，竟有一丝莫名的兴奋缠绕在心头。 “那天开车来找你的'男的'朋友也喜欢喝热奶茶吧？”若兰指的是黄子捷，我用力撇清跟黄子捷之间的任何关系。不过话说回来，好像黄子捷每次出现时也总会有热奶茶相伴，是啊牎真奇妙———难道黄子捷也爱喝热奶茶吗？我都没有仔细想过。 精神错乱的小茹 昨夜忘了关窗户，晨风直吹到我脸上，我随手拿起床边的闹钟，7时20分。啊牎对了，我今天要去龙潭看小茹，赶紧起床！ 梳洗完毕，我整整衣服拿了绍强给我的地址就出门。对喔牎昨天深更半夜的，我好像把车子借给吴宇凡跟他女朋友出去踏青了。呜，竟然趁我不清醒的时候跟我借车，现在可好了。 我正站在门口想办法，看见有部车缓缓驶过来，深靛色，奥迪，黄子捷。 有好一阵子没有见到他了，怎么现在突然出现了？我转身往另一边后街的方向走去，还是到省道坐公车去龙潭好了。 才走了几步路，我就听到车门被关上的声音，我没有回头，如果真是黄子捷，他也是来找怡君出去的吧。才这么想着，我就被一只大手拍了一下，真的是黄子捷。 将近一个月没见到他，他的头发已经有点长了，不过细柔的头发还是非常好看。他穿着蓝色套头连帽的棉衫和一条象牙白的长裤，他一向就是这么清爽干净，无可挑剔。只不过他明显地变瘦，而且脸色苍白。是因为太阳照在他脸上的关系吗？still…… 我盯着他正想得出神，他又露出我熟悉的那种笑容，说：“干嘛，盯着我看？爱上我啦？”我回过神来，连忙转头不看他。死性不改，还是一张嘴惹人厌，我没好气地说：“臭美。” “呵，还是一样凶。怎么了？去哪？我送你去吧牎”他走到我身边低头问着（怎么大家都高过我一个头以上？），我感觉到他的呼吸有一点不规律。因为自己有气喘，所以对别人的呼吸运动特别敏感。我将手中的背包甩上肩头说：“没没……没有啊，去散散心罢了。”真糟糕，得赶快开溜牎不想被黄子捷知道我要去龙潭。 “车子都被骑走了，你要怎么出去散心啊牎要不然我带你出去晃晃，怎么样？”黄子捷说着拿过我手中的背包。我只好说一半实话：“我不是要去玩的。我要去看一个住在龙潭的朋友。” “喔，她家住龙潭。生病了？”我不会解释，只好点点头。“好啦，我载你去龙潭。我纯粹当司机，不进去看你的朋友总行了吧？你一个人我不放心……走吧。”他拉我走回他的奥迪，送我坐上前座。算了，我拿黄子捷没辙。要是真被他知道小茹的事也算了，让他死心也好。 “你还好吧？脸色不是很好看。”我望着前方装作不经意地说。“没事啊牎我有扑粉的习惯牎今天扑太多了……呵呵。”看他还能嬉皮笑脸地开玩笑，状况应该还不算太差。 其实我心里紧张得半死，不知道小茹在里面过得好吗？听到“疗养院”这个名词，我总觉得很难受，若是知道她的个性如此极端，我不会爱得那样义无反顾，以致伤害到她。在那场爱情较量的最后，我简直是仓皇而逃，连绍平都没有力气再为爱冒险，我们之间因为小茹的自杀未遂而草草结束。也不知道绍平最后怎么样？真惨，我根本不知道小茹被送进了疗养院。 “怎么了？这样安静？”黄子捷回过头看我，“龙潭到了，地址是哪儿？”我赶紧拿出字条把地址念了一遍，他思考一会儿便将车头一转，驶到另一条路上，四处看看后又切到一条小路上。利落的动作让我很好奇地望着他。 “你别没事就直盯着我看，我会紧张，呵呵———”他这句似真非真的话把我逗得笑出来。这家伙也会害羞，难得。 黄子捷将车停在疗养院门外。疗养院里面有很多四处游走的病人，每个病人都穿着白色的病服。老实说我心里很震撼，不知道该怎么走进去才好，于是一言不发地望着疗养院里面。 “陪你进去？”黄子捷心里一定有许多疑惑，可是他却什么都没有提，只问我需不需要他陪。有点感动他适时的不追问，我鼓起勇气说：“没关系，我自己进去就好了。”用力吸了一口气，我推开车门，他说：“有事就叫我。”我冲他笑笑便走到疗养院的警卫室打听小茹的所在。几分钟之后，有一个类似护士的中年妇女上前擦擦手上的水笑着说：“你是小茹的———？” “我，我是她的朋友。”×的———我又开始心虚。“喔，这样啊牎我是负责照顾她的看护。小茹正在后院，我带你去看她吧牎”我微笑着点点头。 疗养院很大，在穿过大大小小的长廊之后，我们来到了后院。 “啊牎那边背着我们，一个人荡着秋千的就是小茹了，咦？她怎么是一个人？刚才不是……”没等看护说完我就走上前去。 小茹一向引以自豪的及腰长发不见了，她现在是标准的学生头。我从她背后慢慢走过去，最后停在她右侧。 “你看———我可以飞得很高喔牎飞得很高喔牎呵呵———”小茹一个人在自言自语地说话。我傻了眼，不自觉地轻喊她：“小茹，我来看你了。小茹？”她像是看不见我似的，继续关在自己的世界里玩耍嬉戏。 我蹲下来望着小茹沉浸在自己世界中的笑脸，非常难过自责。这时，一个人缓缓走到我面前说：“小华，是你？”天啊，绍平…… 我忽然有种想哭的冲动，有两年没听到过绍平的声音了，更何况是活生生的他隔着小茹晃荡的秋千注视着我。 我的面部肌肉神经尴尬地僵硬住，连微微抽动的能力都丧失了。我怎么没想到他会出现呢？ 小茹忽然停下秋千目不转睛地盯着我看，她的眼神中没有什么特别的感情。我勉强咽了咽口水，蹲下来轻摸小茹的头说：“小茹，我是小华啊。”她时而疑惑时而傻笑的反应，着实让我像只泄了气的皮球。 “她不记得你了。”绍平走到我身边也蹲下来，左手握着小茹软弱而白皙的手，右手不由自主地抚摸她的脸庞，眼光怜惜似地看着她，小茹似懂非懂地对着绍平笑。我微笑地站起身，只觉得浑身不自在。 “陈先生，小茹该吃药了。我带她进去一会。”看护搀扶起小茹，绍平回头对我说：“你留在这儿，等我一下。” 看着他们三人离去的背影，一股落寞矗立在我心头。绍平看起来还是那样清爽的样子。他有一双会说话的眼睛，不像黄子捷的眼光总有种古灵精怪的故意挑衅，让人又好气又好笑；绍平不经意的一个回眸侧看仰望迟疑都充满了故事。忽然惊觉自己喜欢上阿问的忧郁眼神是不是和绍平有关，阿问的忧郁可能不及绍平的十分之一，是因为绍平把想说的话都透过双瞳传达出来的缘故吧。 “娃娃，你跑到哪里去了？来来来，爷爷买糖果给你吃啊———”想得正出神时，忽然有个老爷爷拉住我的手，吓我一跳。“我不是你的娃娃啊———老爷爷牎”天啊牎老爷爷完全不听我说话，直拉着我去秋千旁的石椅上坐下，然后在口袋里左掏右掏地找东西。 我望着老爷爷找不着糖果的焦虑神情，有点不忍心：“爷爷，我不吃糖果啦牎找不到没关系啊———”没想到爷爷开始捶胸顿足起来：“我都没有糖果给娃娃吃牎都没有糖果给娃娃吃牎”这可糟啦，谁来帮我啊牎 “阿顺爷爷，您的糖果忘在餐桌上了。”绍平不知何时走到我们身边，温柔地递给老爷爷几颗情人糖，老爷爷这才停下来抓紧糖果说：“我的糖果牎娃娃？你又去哪里了啊？”他随即忘了我这个假冒的“娃娃”，不知又要走到哪里去找他的“娃娃”了。绍平坐到石椅上，我也跟着坐了下来。 “小茹住进来多久了？”我终于打破沉默，开口的第一个问题就有点烂、有点尴尬，等会儿肯定会语无伦次。 “一年多了吧……那之后她就开始不很正常。”他是指小茹自杀未遂的事情。“怎么不告诉我？”如果他当时开口，也许我会留下来跟他一起渡过难关，即使是成了局外人也无所谓，即使…… 两年前，当我和绍平知道小茹自杀的事后，随即赶到医院去探视她。医生说小茹似乎死意已决，喝了很多酒又吞掉半瓶安眠药，而最严重的是她手上那道长达5厘米深可见骨的伤口。绍平不等医生说完就冲进小茹的急诊病床前，倾下身深深地抱住她许久不说话。后来小茹的爸妈赶到医院，不知详情地把绍平打骂了一顿，绍平没有反驳，也任由小茹的妈妈打骂。 绍平红着眼坚定地说：“我会照顾小茹的，请不要让我离开她，拜托。”从那以后，绍平每天都来陪昏迷的小茹说话，每天每天。 忽然知道自己为什么要逃走的真正原因了。是绍平那时候的坚定眼神让我想逃走，并不是因为他最后选择小茹的关系。只是他的眼神仿佛在告诉我说“我们错了”，然而我完全感受到这样的情绪反应跟答案，我觉得自己错得离谱。 小茹醒来后第一个要求是跟我说话，她的眉头微皱，虚弱地说：“我从没要求在他身上得到什么，只是活着，就得看你们在一块儿，实在太痛苦了，我不要……”我握着她的手说不出话来，眼泪直在眼眶里打转，好不容易挤出一句话：“你要好好地休养，要很幸福，好不好？”她含泪微笑着点点头，不知道她能否明白我的退出、我的输。 绍平走上前，双手紧握住小茹没有说话，“呵，终于能让你正眼看着我了……这痛苦还真值得，不是吗？”小茹惨白着脸说。绍平什么话都没有说，只是轻轻地将唇贴在小茹的额头上许久。我直愣愣地注视着绍平给小茹仿佛承诺似地一吻，悄悄地退出病房。此后，我没有再出现在这两个人的眼前。没有任何恨意或不谅解，我有的只是遗憾。 这样解释我们三人之间的情况已经是最简洁有力的叙述，两年过去了，到底是谁对不起谁早已不再重要。 “只是不想再打扰你，况且小茹……”绍平有点顾虑地住了嘴。对喔，小茹看到我的反应超大，深怕我抢走她的最爱。也好，不见我也好。