Chapter 5 gazebo

That morning she poured Titchell Titchell, a brand of whiskey.Poured on my belly and licked off.In the afternoon she wanted to jump out of the window.I said, "Holly, this can't go on, this has to be over." We sat upstairs on a couch in a suite.There are a lot of empty rooms here.But we need a suite, a place where we can walk and talk.So that morning we locked the motel office and went upstairs to a suite."Duane, this is killing me," she said. We're drinking tichels with ice and water.I slept for a while between morning and afternoon.She later got out of bed, wearing only her underwear, and threatened to crawl out the window.I had to put my arms around her, even though it was only two stories high.But still... "I've had enough," she said. "I can't take it anymore." She covered her face with her hands and closed her eyes.She rocked her head back and forth while moaning "hum".Seeing her like this makes me sick. "Can't stand what?" I said, although of course I knew what she was talking about. "I don't have to tell you any more," she said. "I can't help myself. It's embarrassing. I was such a strong woman." She was just over thirty and an attractive woman.Tall, with long black hair and green eyes, the only green-eyed woman I ever knew.I used to talk about her green eyes a lot, and she told me they were what made her feel special.Don't I know this already!This one thing after another made me feel terrible.I can hear the phone ringing in the office downstairs.It's been there all day barking on and off.I can even hear it when I'm napping.I would open my eyes, stare at the ceiling, listen to the bell, and wonder what was going on between the two of us.Maybe I should look at the floor. "My heart is broken," she said. "A stone. I'm dead, and worst of all I'm useless." "Holly," I said.When we first moved here to be administrators, we thought we'd finally made it through.No need to pay rent and utilities, plus 300 yuan a month.Where to find such a good thing.Holly handles the accounts.She calculated clearly that most of the guest rooms were rented out by her.She likes to be with people, and everyone likes her.I take care of the yard, mow the lawn, cut weeds, keep the pool clean, and do minor repairs.The first year can be said to be all the best.I'm working another job at night and we're improving and have our own plans.I didn't know it one morning, but I had just tiled a guest bathroom when this little Mexican maid came in to do the cleaning.Holly hired her.I really can't say that I've noticed this little thing before, although I said a few words when we met each other.I still remember that she called me Mr.Anyway, that's how things went.From that morning I began to keep an eye on her.She was a wonderful little thing with white teeth, and I got used to looking at her mouth.She started calling me by my first name.

I was fixing a bathroom faucet washer one morning when she walked in and turned on the TV like any other maid.That is to say, they all do this when cleaning.I stopped what I was doing and walked out of the bathroom.She was a little surprised to see me.She chuckled and called out my name.As soon as she finished speaking we collapsed on the bed. "Holly, you're still a confident woman," I said. "You're still the best. Come on, Holly." She shook her head. "Something inside me died," she said. "Even though it lasted a long time, it died. You killed it, like you gave it an axe. It's all dirty now." She finished her drink, and burst into tears.I tried to put my arms around her, but it didn't work.I refill the wine for both of us and keep an eye out the window.Two cars with out-of-state license plates were parked in front of the office, and the driver stood at the door talking.One of them just finished saying something to the other, he rested his chin and looked at the guest room.There was also a woman there, pressing her face against the glass, covering her eyes with her hands, and peering in.She pushed the door again.The phone downstairs rang. "Even when we did that thing you were thinking about her," Holly said. "Duane, this is so sad." She took the drink I offered her. "Holly," I said. "It's true, Duane," she said. "Stop arguing with me," she said.She was walking around the room in her panties and bra with a drink in hand.Holly said, "You've broken the engagement. You've broken the trust." I got down on my knees and begged.But Juanita was on my mind.This is too bad.I don't know what will happen to me, nor what will happen to the rest of the world.I said, "Holly, baby, I love you." Someone honked in the parking lot, paused, then honked again.Holly wiped her eyes.She said, "Get me a drink. That's too much water. Let them honk their horns. I don't care. I'm moving to Nevada."

"Don't go to Nevada," I said. "You're talking crazy," I said. "I'm not talking crazy," she said. "Going to Nevada isn't crazy at all. You can stay here with your cleaning lady. I'm moving to Nevada. Go there or kill yourself." "Holly," I said. "Holly shit!" she said.She sat on the sofa, tucked her legs up, and put her knees on her chin. "Pour me another soda, you son of a bitch," she said, "fuck the honking bastards, let them go and spoil that 'Tourist Inn' where your cleaning lady is cleaning now? Give me Get another glass, you son of a bitch!" She pursed her lips and made a face for me.Drinking is a funny thing.When I look back, all of our important decisions were made while drinking.Even when we were talking about having to cut down on alcohol, we sat at the kitchen table, or outside at the picnic table, drinking a half-pack of beer or whiskey.When we made up our mind to move here as caretakers, we spent two nights drinking and weighing the pros and cons of it.I poured the rest of the Tichel into our glasses and added some ice and water.Holly got up from the couch and stretched out on the bed.She said, "Have you ever fucked her in this bed?" I had nothing to say.I feel my mind goes blank.I handed her the glass and sat down on the chair.I drank it and thought, that nothing will ever be the same again. "Duane?" she said. "Holly?" My heart beat slowed.I am waiting.Holly is my true love.With Juanita five times a week, between ten and eleven.Whichever room she cleans in.I would go straight into the room she was cleaning and close the door.But most of the time it's on the eleventh, which is our lucky room.We linger on each other, but quickly.It feels good.

I think Holly might be able to get through it.All she has to do is try to do something.As for me, I still keep my evening job.It was a job even a monkey could do.But here it goes from bad to worse.We really don't have the heart to do anything.I stopped cleaning the pool, it was covered in green moss and the guests didn't use it anymore.I also don't fix faucets, lay tiles, and touch up the walls.Alas, we both drank quite a bit, actually.It takes time and effort to drink good wine.Holly also makes frequent mistakes when registering guests.She either overcharged or simply forgot to.Sometimes she puts three guests in a room with one bed, or one guest in a room with a king bed.Let me tell you, the guests are complaining and sometimes quarreling.They loaded their stuff into the car and went elsewhere.Next came a letter from the administration, and then another, registered.There was a call, someone was coming down from town.But we don't care anymore, it's a fact.We know our days are numbered.We've been kicked out of life and are preparing to start all over again.Holly was a smart woman, and she knew it from the start.We woke up Saturday morning after a night of rehash.We opened our eyes, turned around on the bed, and took a good look at each other.Both of us understand at this moment that we have come to the end and what we need to do is to find a new beginning.We got up, dressed, drank coffee, and decided to start this conversation.No interruptions.No phone calls, no guests.That's when I brought out Titchell.We locked the door and went up to the second floor with ice, glasses and bottles.At first, we watched the color TV, played around for a while, and let the phone ring downstairs.When we want something to eat, we grab some crispy cheese sticks from the vending machine.It's funny how anything can happen, and now we finally realize they did. "We weren't married when we were kids," Holly said. "Do you remember when we had big plans and dreams?" She sat on the bed, holding her knees and wine. "Remember, Holly." "You're not my first, you know that. My first was Wyatt. Imagine, Wyatt. Your name is Duane. Wyatt and Duane Ann. God knows what I've missed all these years? You're everything to me, like the song says." I said, "You're a wonderful woman, Holly, and I know you've had every opportunity." "But I Not taking advantage of them!" she said. "I can't betray our engagement." "Holly, come on," I said. "Come on, baby. Let's stop torturing ourselves. What are we going to do?"

"Listen," she said. "You remember that time we drove to the ranch outside of Yakima? On the other side of Teresa Heights? We were driving around? On a dirt road, hot and dusty? We kept going Come on, when you get to that old house, you go to ask for water? Do you think we will do this again? Last time someone asked for water?" "The old people must be dead now," she said , "Lying side by side in some cemetery. Do you remember when they invited us in for cake? Then they showed us around? There was a gazebo at the back of the house? Under a big tree behind? It had a little spire, painted It's pretty much gone, and weeds are growing on the steps. The woman said, years ago, I mean a long, long time ago, people would come here on Sundays to play instruments and people would sit here and listen to music. I thought we'd be too when we were very old That way, with dignity and a place to live, people will come to our door." I'm still speechless.Later I said, "Holly, these things, we're going to look back. We're going to say, 'Remember that motel with the pool full of dirt?'" I said, "Holly, you get me Do you mean?" But Holly just sat on the bed with her glass.I could see she didn't understand.I went to the window and looked out from behind the curtain.Someone was talking below and shaking the office door vigorously.I stay there.Begging for a sign from Holly, begging Holly to signal me.I heard a car start, then another.They turned on their lights toward the hotel, and one followed the other, pulling away and joining the traffic on the highway. "Duane," Holly said.Even this, she was right.