Chapter 2 Chapter 2 Tengo's A Little Different Idea

Tengo's first memory was when he was one and a half years old.His mother took off her shirt, undid the shoulder straps of her white petticoat, and let a man who wasn't his father suck on her nipples.There was a baby lying in the crib, which might have been Tengo.He looked at himself as a third person.Or was that his twin brother? No, it wasn't.The one there should have been Tengo himself, who was one and a half years old.He knew intuitively.The baby closed its eyes and let out tiny sleepy snorts.For Tengo, it was the first memory of his life.The scene of the ten-second question was vividly imprinted on the wall of consciousness.Never before or after.Like the steeple in the street in a flood, the memory stands alone, poking its head out of the murky water.

Whenever he had the chance, Tengo would ask those around him, at what age was the first memory of his life? For many, it was four or five years old.No matter how early it is only three years old.There is no earlier example of this.Children can witness and understand the surrounding scenes to some extent with reasonable things, and it seems to be at least three years old.At the stage before that, all the scenes were just an incomprehensible state of chaos.The world is like thin porridge, vague and boneless, impossible to grasp.It couldn't form a memory in my mind, so it passed through the window.

What does it mean for a man who is not a father to suck on his mother's nipple? Of course, a one-and-a-half-year-old child should not be able to judge.It's obvious.So if Tengo's memory was true, he probably didn't make any judgments, and just let the scene he witnessed be imprinted on his retina as it was.Just like a camera only mechanically records objects on film as a mixture of light and shadow.And as the consciousness grows, gradually analyze the fixed image bit by bit, and give meaning to it.But is such a thing really possible? Is it possible to preserve such images in the brains of infants and young children?

Or that's just a fake memory.Everything was fabricated by his consciousness with some purpose or intention in the future? Fabrication of memory!! Tengo also fully considered this possibility.And come to the conclusion that it should not be the case.Memories are too vivid and persuasive for fabrications.The light, the smell, the agitation of the scene, the feeling of being there is overwhelming, and it doesn't feel fake.And, assuming that scenario actually existed, many things could easily make sense.Either theoretically or emotionally. In terms of time, about ten seconds, that vivid image will appear without warning.There was neither omen nor hesitation.There was no knocking either.When riding a train, when writing calculations on the blackboard, when eating, when talking face-to-face with people—like this time,” he would pay Tengo a sudden visit.Overwhelming like a silent tsunami.When he paid attention, it was already in front of him, making his hands and feet paralyzed and unable to move.Time temporarily stopped flowing.The surrounding air suddenly became thinner, making it difficult for people to breathe properly.The people and things around are all turned into things that have nothing to do with me.The liquid wall swallowed him whole.It can feel that the world has been shut into darkness, but the consciousness has not become thinner.It's just that the turning point of the track is switched.A part of consciousness becomes sharper instead.Not scary.But can't open eyes.The eyelids are firmly closed.The surrounding sounds gradually faded away.And that familiar image was shown several times on the screen of consciousness.Sweat all over the body.You can feel the underarms of your shirt getting wet.The whole body began to tremble slightly.Accelerate, increase.

Tengo would pretend to be dizzy if he was sitting with others.That's the truth, much like vertigo.As long as time passes, everything will return to normal.He took out the handkerchief from his pocket, tapped his mouth and remained still.Raise your hand and signal to the other party, it's nothing, don't worry.Sometimes thirty seconds passed, sometimes it lasted more than a minute.In the meantime, the same image, taking a video tape as an example, is automatically repeated in the repeat playback state.The mother unfastened the shoulder straps of her petticoat and let some man suck her hardened nipples.She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply.Smells the nostalgic smell of breast milk.Smell is the most sensitive organ for babies.Smell taught him many things.Sometimes everything.No sound is heard: the air turns into a chaotic liquid.All I can hear is my soft heartbeat.

See, they say.Just watch this, they say.You are here, you can only be here, you can't go anywhere, they say.That message was repeated over and over again. This "seizure" lasted a long time.Tengo closed his eyes, bit his mouth with a handkerchief as usual, and clenched his teeth.Don't know how long it lasted.You can only judge by how tired your body is after everything is over.This is very exhausting.Never been so tired.It takes a long time to open the eyes.Consciousness wants to wake up a moment earlier, but the muscles and internal organs are resisting.Like a hibernating animal that gets the season wrong and wakes up earlier than planned.

"Hi, Tengo." Someone had been calling him since just now.The voice seemed to come vaguely from the depths of the horizontal cave.Tengo thought it was his own name. "What's wrong? Is it the same old problem? Are you okay?" said the voice.It sounds a little closer this time. Tengo finally opened his eyes and focused more on his right hand holding the edge of the table.Make sure that the world still exists and has not been disassembled, and I still exist here with my own identity.Although he was still slightly paralyzed, it was indeed his right hand that was here.Also smells like sweat.It was a strange, wild smell, like something you'd smell in front of some animal enclosure at a zoo.But there was no doubt that it was his own smell.

Throat is so thirsty.Tengo reached out to pick up the glass on the dining table and drank half of it while being careful not to spill it.Take a break to catch your breath, then drink the remaining half.Consciousness gradually returned to the original place, and the body felt back to normal.Put down the empty glass and wipe the corners of your mouth with a handkerchief. "Sorry. It's all right," he said.Then confirm that the person you are facing now is Komatsu.The two were discussing things at a tea shop near Shinjuku Station.The surrounding conversations sounded like normal conversations too.The two people sitting at the next table were looking at this side as if wondering what happened.The waitress stood close by with a disturbed expression on her face.Maybe he was worried that he would vomit between the seats.Tengo raised his face, smiled at her, and nodded.As if to indicate that there is no problem, don't worry.

"This, isn't it a seizure?" Komatsu asked. "It's nothing serious. It's just like dizziness. It's just uncomfortable," Tengo said.The voice doesn't sound like his own yet.But it's finally getting close. "When something like this happens while driving, it's probably going to be a big trouble." Komatsu said while looking into Tengo's eyes. "I don't drive." "That's the best. I have a friend who is allergic to cedar tree pollen. He started to sneeze while driving, and hit a power pole just like that. But Tengo, your situation seems to be more than just sneezing. The first time I was taken aback at the time. But after the second time, I got used to it a little bit.”

"Excuse me." Tengo picked up his coffee cup and took a sip of what was in it.No smell.It's just warm liquid passing through the throat. "Can you ask them to add water?" Komatsu asked. Tengo shook his head. "No, no problem. It's recovered." Komatsu took out a Marlboro cigarette case from his jacket pocket, picked up a cigarette, and lit it with a match from the store.Then glance at your watch. "So, what were we talking about just now?" Tengo asked.We have to get back to normal soon. "Well, what are we talking about?" Komatsu said, looking up into the air, thinking for a while.Or pretend to think so.Tengo couldn't tell the difference either.

There are a lot of acting elements in Komatsu's actions and conversation. "Oh, by the way, I was about to mention a girl named Fuka-Eri. Also about "Air Chrysalis." Tengo nodded.About Fuka-Eri and "Air Chrysalis": About to explain to Komatsu.It started to "seizure" and the conversation was interrupted.Tengo took out a stack of photocopies of the manuscript from his purse and placed it on the table.Put your hand on the manuscript to confirm the tactile sensation. "We talked briefly on the phone, but the biggest advantage of this "Air Chrysalis" is that it doesn't imitate anyone. This is unusual for a newcomer's work, and there is no part about wanting to be like anyone." Tengo said cautiously. Choose the words to say. "It's true that the article is rough and not refined, and the choice of terms is also naive. Starting from the name, the pupa and the cocoon are confused. If you pick it deliberately, you may be able to pick out many other flaws. But at least this story is attractive. The whole story is fantasy, but the details are surprisingly real. The balance is very good. I don’t know if it’s appropriate to use terms like originality or inevitability. If the level is not here, maybe That's right. But when I dropped it halfway and read it intermittently, I left a quiet feeling after that. Even if it's an uncomfortable, strange feeling that's hard to explain." Komatsu looked at Tengo's face without saying anything.He needs to hear more. Tengo continued: "I don't want to be dismissed by the primary election just because the article is childish. After working in the past few years, I have read a mountain of submissions. Rather than reading it, it may be closer to jumping. I have read it. There are well-written works, and there are also hopeless things-of course, the latter is overwhelming. But in short, I have read so many works. Anyway, this "Air Chrysalis" "It's the first time I feel like I have a feeling. After reading it, I want to read it again from the beginning, and this is also the first time." "Oh." Komatsu said.Moreover, he puffed on the smoke of his cigarette in a disinterested manner, and curled his lips.However, judging from Tengo's not-so-short experience in dating Komatsu, he would not be easily deceived by that quick look.This man's face often has nothing to do with the original intention, or completely opposite expressions.So Tengo waited patiently for the other party to speak. "I've read it too." Komatsu said after putting it on hold for a while. "When I received your call, I read the manuscript right away. But, Si, it's really bad. I can't even use a particle particle, so I don't know what the article wants to say. Before writing a novel, it's best to rewrite it. Learn the basics of article writing." "But read to the end. Right?" Komatsu smiled.Smiling as if pulled from the depths of a normally closed drawer. "Yes. It's exactly as you said. Read to the end. I was shocked. I have never read to the end of the works submitted for the Newcomer Award. What's more, I have to re-read some of them. This is like a few planets arranged It seems to be in a straight line. I admit that." "That means something. Doesn't it?" Xiao Song put the cigarettes in the ashtray and rubbed the side of his nose with the middle finger of his right hand.But he did not answer Tengo's questioning. Tengo said: "This kid is only seventeen years old, a high school student. It's just that he doesn't have enough training in reading and writing novels. It may be really difficult to win the Newcomer Award for this work. But it is worth saving until the final judgment. Oh. Is it possible that only Mr. Komatsu’s thoughts are right? Then there must be a next chance.” "Thinking." Xiao Song whispered again, yawning charmingly.And took a sip of water from the glass. "Hey, Tengo, think about it carefully. Let such crude things be saved for the final review. Those judges will pass out. Maybe they will be angry. They will definitely not read to the end. Four judges They are all current writers. Everyone is very busy. They must have read only the first two pages before throwing them away. It’s like an elementary school student’s composition. There is nothing here that can be polished, why should I Putting down my body and defending her passionately, who would listen to me? Even if my own thoughts are powerful, I would like to reserve them for someone with a more promising future." "You mean, if you download it directly, you can just delete it?" "I didn't say that." Komatsu said while rubbing the side of his nose. "I have a special idea for this work." "Special idea?" Tengo said.It sounds a little ominous. "Tengo, you said that you are looking forward to the next work," Komatsu said, "I also want to look forward to it. Spending time and cherishing the cultivation of young writers is the greatest joy for an editor. Looking at the clear night sky, you will discover something before anyone else. A new star is an exciting thing. But to be honest, it is hard to believe that this kid will have a next time. Although I am not talented, after all, I have been in this industry for 20 years. During this period, I have seen various writers emerge and sink .So you can see the people who have a next time and those who don't. So, if I say it, this kid has no next time. Unfortunately, there is no next time. There is no next time. The next time. First of all, this kind of article is not something that can be improved by spending time and continuous study. No matter how much you look forward to and wait, there is no way. You can only wait for a while. Do you want to ask why? Because I have not shown that I want to write A good article, or the motivation to become able to write a good article. Articles are either born with literary talent, or mastered by working hard the day after tomorrow. One of the two. And this person named Fuka Eri Girl, neither. I can see that she is not a genius, and she doesn't seem to be trying hard. I don't know why. But it seems that I have no interest in writing articles. I do have the will to tell stories. And the will seems to be quite Strong. I admit it. In a direct form, it attracted you, Tengo, and made me read the manuscript to the end. It is really not easy to think about it. Even so, there is no future for becoming a novelist. Even the bug's It’s not even that big of a poop. It’s like throwing cold water on you, but if I’m to be honest, that’s what it is.” Tengo thought about it, and felt that what Komatsu said made sense.Komatsu, after all, has the intuition of an editor. "But it wouldn't be a bad thing to give her a chance, right?" Tengo said. "Throw her in the water and see if she floats or sinks. Is that what you mean?" "Simply put." "I've done a lot of useless killing so far. Don't want to see more people drowning." "So, what about my situation?" "At least Tengo is working hard." Komatsu said with choice of words. "In my opinion, you are not lazy. You also have a very humble attitude towards writing articles. Do you know why? It is because you like writing articles. I also give you a good evaluation in this regard. I like writing about it. , for those who want to be a writer, it is the most important qualification than anything else.” "However, this alone is not enough." "Of course. This alone is not enough. There must be something special." At least, it must contain something that I can't read through. I, especially when it comes to novels, are difficult for me to read. The things that I can understand are the most highly rated. I have no interest in things that I can understand. Of course, right! It’s a very simple thing.” Tengo fell silent.Then speak. "Are there things written by Fuka-Eri that Komatsu-san can't read?" "Oh. Yes, of course. The child has something important. Don't know what it is, but she does. It's clear. You know it, and I know it. It was like a windless afternoon Anyone can clearly see the smoke from burning wood. But Tengo, this child may not be able to handle what this child has." "If you throw it into the water, there is no hope of floating." "That's right." Komatsu said. "So you won't let her stay until the final trial?" "Exactly." Komatsu said.Then he twisted his lips and clasped his hands on the table. "Because of this, I have to choose my words carefully." Tengo picked up his coffee cup.Look at what's left in the glass, then put the glass back.The special idea Komatsu-san said came up here, right?" Komatsu narrowed his eyes like a teacher facing a proud student.Then nod slowly. "That's what happened." There is something unfathomable about Komatsu.What is he thinking? What is he feeling? It cannot be easily read from the expression and voice.And he himself seems to be quite happy to let the other party fall into the mist.The brain does turn very fast.What other people think has nothing to do with him, he is the type to think about things and make judgments according to his own theory.Doesn't show off unnecessarily, but reads a lot and has a solid knowledge of all sides of the disagreement.Not only knowledge, but he can also see through others with intuition, and has the insight to pick out good works.Although there is a considerable degree of prejudice in it, for him, prejudice is also one of the important factors of truth. Originally a person of few words, impatient to explain one by one, but when necessary, he can articulately express his views in theory.He could also get downright spicy if he wanted to.It can aim at the weakest part of the opponent and pierce it with short words in an instant.There are strong personal preferences for people and works. In comparison, there are many more unacceptable people and works than acceptable ones.And of course, there are far more people who don't like him than those who like him.But that's what he wanted too.From Tengo's point of view, he preferred to be alone, to be shunned by others--or clearly disliked--and he still enjoyed it.It was his creed that mental sharpness could not be produced in a comfortable environment. Komatsu was sixteen years older than Tengo, and was now forty-five.He has been an editor of literary magazines for a long time, and he is known for his ability in the industry, but no one knows about his private life.Because even if he has contacts at work, he doesn't talk about personal affairs with anyone.Where he was born, where he grew up, and where he lived now, Tengo had no idea.Even if we talk for a long time, such topics will never come up.Everyone is puzzled that he is so elusive, does not socialize with people, and despises the literary world, yet he can still get a lot of manuscripts.Thanks to him, the magazine managed to hold up a few times.So even if he is not liked by others, everyone still treats him differently. According to rumors, when Komatsu was in the Faculty of Letters of the University of Tokyo, it coincided with the security struggle in the 1960s. He was once a cadre of the student movement organization.When Michiko Kawa participated in a demonstration and was brutally killed by the police force, I heard that he was nearby, and she was also seriously injured.Whether it is true or not is unknown.Just saying that, there is something believable.He was tall and thin, with a large mouth and a small nose.Long hands and feet, macules oozing with nicotine at the fingertips.There is something reminiscent of the atmosphere of down-and-out revolutionaries and intellectuals in Russian literature in the nineteenth century.He seldom smiles, but when he does, his face is full of smiles.However, even so, I don't feel particularly happy.It just looks like a seasoned magician who is about to make an ominous prophecy while snickering to himself.Although her appearance is neat and elegant, Yu often only wears similar clothes, as if she was announcing to the world that she is not interested in clothes.Twill blazer, white Oxford shirt or light gray polo shirt, no tie, gray trousers, suede shoes, like a uniform.Six or seven twill three-button suits with slightly different colors, materials and patterns appeared in front of him, carefully brushed and cleaned, hanging in his wardrobe.It may not necessarily be numbered for easy identification. Hair as stiff as a thin wire, beginning to gray slightly in front.Hair is disheveled and covers the ears.What's incredible is that the length is often maintained at the level that seems to be a barber a week ago.Tengo didn't know how he could do this.His eyes became sharper, like stars twinkling in the winter night sky.When something fell silent, it remained silent like a rock on the far side of the moon.Become almost expressionless.It seems as if even the body temperature has been lost. Tengo had met Komatsu about five years ago.He submitted an article to the newcomer award of the literary magazine edited by Komatsu, and entered the final review.Xiao Song called and said he wanted to meet and talk.The two met at a tea shop in Shinjuku (the same one now).Komatsu said that it may be difficult for you to win the Newcomer Award for this work (in fact, you didn’t get it). But I personally like this work. “I don’t want to benefit you, but I rarely say such things to people. "He said (I didn't know it at the time, but it was true). So next time you have something you want to show me, before anyone else, Komatsu said. Tengo said, I will. Komatsu also wanted to know what kind of person Tengo was.How did you grow up and what are you doing now.What Tengo could say, he explained as clearly as possible.Born and raised in Ichikawa City, Mikiba Prefecture.Mother was born not long after Tengo.He died of illness.At least that's what my father said.No siblings.His father never remarried, and Tengo was brought up by a single man.My father used to be a toll collector for NHK, but now he suffers from dementia and lives in a nursing home at the southern tip of the Boso Peninsula.Tengo graduated from the strangely named Department of the University of Tsukuba's "Mathematics Majoring in Natural Sciences" in the first group.Writing novels while working as a mathematics lecturer at a cram school in Yoyogi.Although he also had the opportunity to return to the local county high school to teach after graduation, he chose a cram school lecturer with more free working hours.Lives alone in a small apartment in Koenji. I don't know if I really want to be a professional novelist.I don't know if I have the talent to write novels.I only know the fact that I feel uncomfortable if I don’t write every day.Writing articles is like breathing for him.Komatsu didn't express his feelings in particular, but listened quietly to what Tengo had to say. For some reason, Komatsu seemed to like Tengo in private.Tengo was a heavyset man (a core member of the judo club from middle school to college) with the eyes of a morning farmer.With short-cropped hair, sun-tanned skin, and round, wrinkled ears like cauliflowers, he looked neither like a literary youth nor like a math teacher.This kind of place also seems to be in line with Komatsu's preferences.When Tengo finished writing a new novel, he would take it to Komatsu.Komatsu will express his impressions after reading it.Tengo would revise the manuscript based on his advice.When taking the rewritten manuscript, Komatsu gave new instructions on that.It seems that the coach is raising the benchmark bit by bit. "Your situation may take time," Komatsu said, "but don't worry. Set your mind to it and keep writing every day. Try not to throw away what you write and keep it. It may be useful in the future." Tengo said, I will. Komatsu also transferred some trivial writing tasks to Tengo.The women's magazine published by Komatsu's publishing house needs some manuscripts signed by Mu.From the rewriting of the book, the introduction of the movie and the new book, to the horoscope, as long as there is an entrustment, I will write and deliver the manuscript.The horoscope divinations that Tiango wrote down were often very accurate, so they were well-received.When he wrote "Beware of Earthquakes in the Morning", a big earthquake really happened one morning.This kind of extra work is very helpful in terms of temporary income, and it also becomes an exercise in writing articles.It is always gratifying that the articles I write, no matter what form, can be turned into printed matter and released in bookstores. Tengo was finally handed over to review the manuscripts for the literary magazine's newcomer award.It seemed inconceivable that I, as a contributor to the Newcomer Award, should be a first-time reader of the candidate works, but Tengo didn't mind the subtlety of his position, and only looked at these works impartially.And by reading a mountain of boring and bad novels, I learned deeply what a boring and bad novel is.He read about a hundred articles each time, and selected about ten works that seemed interesting, and took them to Xiaosong's place.Each work is accompanied by a note to write the impression.Five papers will be left in the final judging process, from which four judges will select the newcomer award. In addition to Tengo, there were other temporary assistants for the first reading, and besides Komatsu, several editors served as the first review.Although I hope to be fair, there is no need to go to such trouble.No matter how many works there are at least meritorious works in, there are only two or three at most, and no one who reads them will miss them.Tengo's works entered the final trial three times.After all, Tengo himself did not choose his own work, but the other two first-time readers and the host of the editorial department, Komatsu, would stay.Although those works did not receive the Newcomer Award, Tengo was not disappointed.On the one hand, Komatsu's words "maybe you might as well spend a little time" were etched into his mind, and on the other hand, Tengo himself had no intention of becoming a novelist anytime soon. As long as the curriculum is adjusted properly, there are four days a week to do what you like at home.I have been working as a lecturer in the same cram school for seven years, and the comments among the students are quite good.The math method is essential, not wordy, and any question can be answered appropriately on the spot.To Tengo himself, he was surprised that he could speak eloquently.He is good at explaining, his voice is clear and loud, and he can tell jokes that make everyone laugh.Before becoming a teacher, I always thought that I was not good at speaking.Even now, when I talk to people face to face, I am still too nervous to speak out.When you enter a group with a small number of people, you often only have to listen to what people have to say.But once you stand on the podium and face an unspecified majority of people, your mind will suddenly clear up, and you can easily continue speaking no matter how long it takes.People are incredible things, Tengo thought again. No dissatisfaction with salary.Although the income is not much, the cram school is paid based on ability.They will regularly conduct student reviews of what will be, if the rating is high.As soon as the salary is improved: because they are afraid that excellent teachers will be poached by other places (in fact, they have encountered such poaching a few times).Normal schools don't do that.Salary is calculated based on seniority, private life is managed by the boss, ability and popularity have no meaning.He also enjoys working in the cram school.Most of the students came to the classroom with a clear sense of purpose, such as going to college, and listened carefully.Instructors are free to do nothing but teach in the classroom.Fortunately for Tengo.Don't worry about student misbehavior and school rule violations.Just stand on the podium and teach the solution to the math problem.Moreover, it was Tengo's natural strength to use props such as numbers to operate pure concepts. When I was at home, I got up very early in the morning and wrote novels until almost evening.With Montblanc pen and blue ink, 400 character manuscript paper.As long as he had this, Tengo was satisfied.A married girlfriend would come to his apartment once a week to spend an afternoon together.Having sex with a married woman ten years older than him has no future at all, and it's relatively easy, and the content is substantial.Take a long walk in the evening, and read a book by yourself while listening to music after dark.Do not watch TV.When an NHK toll collector came, he politely refused and said, I'm sorry I don't have a TV.Really do not have.It's okay to check inside.But they did not come into the house. NHK toll collectors are not allowed to enter the house according to regulations. "I'm thinking about something a little bigger," Komatsu said. "Bigger things." "Yes. Don't mention the newcomer award and other pediatrics, just zoom in on the target." Tengo remained silent.Although I don't know what Komatsu's intentions are, but I can feel that there is something unstable in it. "Akutagawa Award." Komatsu said after a while. "Akutagawa Award." Tengo repeated the other person's words, like writing Chinese characters in large sizes with a wooden stick on the wet sand. "The Akutagawa Award. Even Tengo, who is so unsophisticated, knows about it. It will be published in newspapers, and it will be broadcast on TV." "But Komatsu-san, I'm not sure, but aren't we talking about Fuka-Eri now?" "That's right. We're talking about Fuka-Eri's "Air Chrysalis". Other than that, there shouldn't be anything else on the topic." Tengo bit his lip, trying to read the plot behind that incident. "But it's already very difficult for this work to win the newcomer award. Haven't we been talking about this? It's hopeless." "That's right. There is no hope. This is a very clear fact." Tengo needed a moment to think. "By the way, do you mean to tamper with the submitted work?" "There is no other way. It is not uncommon for the editor to suggest that the contributor rewrite a promising submission. It is not unusual. It's just that this time it is not the author himself, but someone else. " "Others?" With that said, Tengo already knew the answer before he asked the question.Just asking again just to be careful. "It's up to you to rewrite it." Komatsu said. Tengo searched for the right words.But no words could be found.He sighed and said, "But, Mr. Komatsu, it is not enough to modify this work. It must be completely rewritten from beginning to end to be fully integrated." Obviously to be rewritten from beginning to end.The skeleton of the story can be used.The stylistic atmosphere is also kept as much as possible.But the article is almost completely replaced.It is also called Yueyi Rejuvenation.I am responsible for the actual writing during the day.I am in charge of the overall production. " "Can things go so smoothly?" Tengo said as if talking to himself. "Listen to me," Komatsu picked up the coffee spoon and pointed at Tengo like a conductor using a baton to designate a soloist, "this girl named Fuka-Eri has something special. Readers just read "Air Chrysalis" I know. This imagination is unusual. But unfortunately, the writing is not good: it is extremely rough: on the other hand, you can write writing. Good quality, good taste. Big, intellectual and delicate writing. Indeed Possesses an aura of momentum. However, contrary to Fuka-Eri, you still can’t grasp what to write. So you often can’t see the core of the story. What you should write should really be in your heart. However , but that thing is like a timid little animal that escapes into a deep cave. It never comes out. I know that thing is hiding in the depths of the cave. But if it doesn't come out, there is no way to catch it. I said it might as well take some time ,That's what I mean." Tengo shifted awkwardly on the plastic chair.said nothing. "It's very simple." Komatsu continued while waving the coffee spoon slightly. "Merge these two into one, and create a new writer. What Fuka-Eri had was a crude story, and Tengo gave it a complete article. It's ideal as a combination. You have this kind of power. So I So far, I’ve been supporting you, haven’t I? I can handle the next things. As long as we work together, it’s easy to win a newcomer award. The Akutagawa Award is more than enough. I’m not a fan of this industry It’s free. I know what’s behind it.” Tengo opened his mouth slightly, and stared at Komatsu's face for a while.Komatsu put the coffee spoon back on the saucer.Unnaturally loud noises. "If you win the Akutagawa Award, what will happen next?" Tengo asked after regaining consciousness. "If you can win the Akutagawa Award, you will be well received. Most people in the world don't value novels. But they don't want to lag behind the trend of the world. So if there is a book that wins an award and becomes a topic, it will be bought and read. If Not to mention the fact that the author is a female high school student who is currently studying. Once the book sells well, a lot of money will come in. The three people will distribute the money appropriately. I will make good arrangements for this.” "It doesn't matter how the money is distributed now," Tengo said in a lackluster voice. "But wouldn't it be against the editor's professional ethics to do so? If such a design is exposed in the world, it will definitely cause a big problem. The company can't wait for it." "I won't be exposed so easily. As long as I want to do it, I can operate very carefully. And if the deeds are exposed, I will be happy to quit my job in the company. Anyway, the higher-ups don't evaluate me well, and I have been eating If you want to find a job, you can find it immediately. I don’t do this kind of thing for money. What I want to do is to fool the literary world. Gather in the dark hole and move around, praising each other , licking each other's wounds, pulling each other's hind legs, while singing about the mission of literature, a group of guys who love to be brave but have no choice, I want to laugh at them heartily. Go straight to the back of the system and make fun of them completely. You Don't you find it very pleasant?" Tengo didn't feel very happy.Because he has never seen the literary world at all.And when he knew that a person as capable as Komatsu would want to build a dangerous bridge out of such a childish motive, he was speechless for a moment. "What Mr. Komatsu said sounds to me like a fraud." "Cooperation is not uncommon." Komatsu said, frowning. "About half of the magazine's serial comics are like this. The working group uses their brains to come up with ideas and make up stories. The animation staff draws simple line drawings, and the assistant continues to complete the details and then fill in the colors. It's like a nearby factory.在製造闹鐘一样。小说的世界也有类似的例子。例如罗曼史小说就是。那有很多，是根据出版社方面所设定的模式(know-how)，雇用作家写出那类故事。换句话说是分工系统。因為不这样就无法量產。但是坚实的纯文学世界，表面上这种方式是行不通的，所以以实战的战略，我但让深绘里这个女孩一个人站出表面。如果真相被揭穿的话，当然可能会闹成丑闻。不过并没有违反法律。这不如说已经成為时代趋势了。而且我们所谈的并不是巴尔札克或紫式部的事情。只是把普普通通的高中女生所写的漏洞百出的作品加以加工，把它修成更像样的作品而已。有什么不对呢？只要出来的作品是品质优良，能让许多读者读的开心的话，不是很好吗？」 天吾想一想小松说的事。然后慎重选择用语。「有两个问题。本来应该有更多问题的，不过暂且提出两个：一个是作者深绘里这个女孩，是不是同意经由别人的手来改写她的故事。如果她说NO的话，当然事情一步也进行不了。另外一个问题，假定她同意，实际上我是不是能把那个故事改写得很好?所谓共同作业是非常微妙的，事情可能没有小松先生所想的那么简单。」 「如果是天吾就办得到。」小松好像预料到会有这个意见似的，毫不迟疑地说。「办得到不会错。我第一次读到《空气蛹》时，这个想法立刻就在我脑子裡浮现。这东西应该让天吾来改写。进一步说的话，这是适合天吾改写的故事。是等著让天吾改写的故事。你不觉得吗?」 天吾只摇摇头。speechless. 「不用急。一小松以安静的声音说。=告正重大的事情。不妨好好想个两三天。重新再读一次《空气蛹》吧。然后好好考虑看看我的建议。对了，这个也交给你。」 小忪从上衣口袋拿出茶色信封，交给天吾。信封裡放有两张制式彩色照片。是女孩子的照片。一张是大头照，另一张是全身的生活照。妤像是同时拍的。她站在某个阶梯前面。宽阔的石头阶梯。古典美的容貌，长长的直头髮。白衬衫。小个子，瘦瘦的。嘴唇努力装出笑容，眼睛却在抗拒这个。非常认真的眼睛。追求著什么的眼睛。天吾轮流地看了那两张照片一会儿。不知道為什么，在看著那照片之间，想起了那个年代时的自己。而且胸前有一点疼痛。那是长久以来没有嚐到的一种特别的疼痛。她的身影中似乎有唤起那种疼痛的东西。 小松说：「这就是深绘里。长得相当美吧。而且是清秀型的。十七岁。没得挑剔。本名深田绘里子。但本名不出现。要始终只用「深绘里」。如果拿到芥川奖，你不觉得会造成不小的话题吗?媒体就会像黄昏时分的鳊蝠群那样在头上绕著飞。书一出版就畅销。 " 小松是从哪裡拿到这两张照片的?天吾觉得不可思议。投稿不可能附上照片。不过天吾并没有问这个。回答————无法预测会有什么样的回答————不过也不想知道。 「那个你可以带著。或许有什么用处。」小松说。天吾把相片放回信封，放在《空气蛹》的稿子影本上。 「小松先生，我对业界的事情几乎什么也不知道。不过以一般常识来推测，这是非常危险的计画。一旦对世间说谎之后，就必须永远说谎下去。不得不继续配合著圆谎。这在心理上技术上，应该都不是简单的事。不管是谁在什么地方出了一点差错，可能就会要全体的命。你不觉得这样吗?」 小松拿出新的香烟点上。 「没错。你说的既健全又正确。确实是有风险的计画。现在这个时点，不确定因素有点过多。无法预测会发生什么。或许会失败，搞得大家都觉得无趣。这点我很清楚。不过啊，天吾，在考虑过各种事情之后，我的本能告诉我：「前进吧。」因為这样的机会是可遇不可求的。到目前為止一次都没遇过。往俊大概也不会遇到了。拿赌博来比喻或许不适当，不过牌都凑齐了。筹码也充足。各种条件万事俱备。这次机会错过，会终生后侮。 " 天吾默不作声，望著对方脸上露出的有点不祥的微笑。 「然后最重要的是，我们正要把《空气蛹》，改造成更优秀的作品这一点。那是应该可以写得更好的故事。那裡面有什么非常重要的东西。必须有人巧妙地去拿出来的什么。天吾内心应该也是这样想的。不是吗？因此我们才要合力来做。拟定计划、把每个人的能力集合起来。以动机来说，是拿到哪里都不可耻的噢。」 「不过小松先生，不管搬出什么样的理论，举出什么大义名分，这怎么看都是诈欺行为呀。或许动机是拿到哪里都不可耻的东西，但实际上却哪里也拿不出来。只能在背后鬼鬼祟祟地转着。如果诈欺这字眼不适台的话，也是背信行為。就算不违背法律，其中还有道德问题在。毕竟编辑捏造出自己文艺杂誌社的新人奖作品，以股票来说就像内线交易一样的东西，不是吗?」 「文学不能跟股票比。这是两个完全不同的东西。」 「例如什么地方不同呢?」 「例如，这个嘛，你遗漏了一个重要的事实。」小松说。他的嘴巴开心地咧得从来没见过的大。「或者应该说，你故意把眼睛转开不面对那事实。那就是，你自己已经很想做这件事了。你的心情正转向改写《空气蛹》。这点我很清楚。没什么风险、道德、狗屁道理的。天吾，你现在应该想要亲手改写《空气蛹》想得不得了。应该想代替深绘里自己把那什么取出来，想得不得了。嘿，这才正是文学和股票的不同啊。这裡头没有善也没有恶。有比金钱更重要的动机在推动著各种事情。回到家不妨好好确认一下自己的真心。不妨站在镜子前面好好看看自己的脸。瞼上会清楚地这样写著噢。」 觉得周遭的空气好像突然变稀薄了。天吾短暂地望一眼四周。那个映像会再出现吗?不过没有这跡象。那空气的稀薄是从什么别的领域来的。他从口袋拿出手帕，擦掉额头的汗。小松说的经常是对的，不知道為什么。