Chapter 6 black sand beach

At a music evening before the Spring Festival, a famous folk song singer sang a folk song that was widely circulated in North China in the early days of liberation with a comfortable expression and a rough and unrestrained voice.As soon as I heard this familiar melody, my heart trembled suddenly, as if a hot needle had pierced my heart.Yes, there is really nothing special about this song. It just expresses a kind of contented psychology of turned peasants, a kind of narcissism of small producers.If you come from that era, it can at best give you a glimpse of the peaceful and peaceful pastoral life that has become history.What about young people?Who else but me can get a philosophical feeling with special meaning from this song?

a cow and a horse Big wheel, turn around moved to my home When the last note of the singing collided and turned on the magnificent dome of the theater, and lingered around the beam, when the middle-aged actor with extraordinary appearance bowed gracefully to the audience, in the thunderous applause of the audience, , my head fell heavily on the back of the front seat.The gentle wife grabbed my hand and asked in panic, "What's wrong? You?" "It's nothing... I think of someone..." On the way home, my wife took my arm and asked in a low voice, "Who do you think of?"

"The field chief." "What kind of director is it that makes you cry?" "I'll tell you when I get home." I gently squeezed her warm little hand. One day in March 1976, the sky was covered with gray and dark clouds, and a Jiefang truck was speeding along the winding road by the Bohai Bay.I held on to the side of the truck with both hands, and the truck was running like a rabbit, which made me, a farm recruit, terrified.Yet I am excited.The speeding truck left carts, horse-drawn carts, donkey carts and tractors belching black smoke behind them.I felt that the ordinary and difficult life of the past was left behind like these outdated vehicles.A kind of luck that I finally jumped out of the countryside made me feel proud and happy from the bottom of my heart.

Can you understand the mood of a young farmer who has been living on moldy dried sweet potatoes for the first time when he holds steaming white flour steamed buns and steaming Chinese cabbage stewed pork for the first time? My wife shakes her head. At that time in our place, being a soldier was as difficult as being a champion.My cousin, who had been a soldier for four years, followed my father's instructions and passed on to me the valuable experience he had accumulated in the army for several years.It is nothing more than one to be obedient, two to endure hardship, and three to be diligent and so on.They all hope that I can become a golden phoenix, fly out of this muddy pond, and never return to this rural village that is too poor to wear pants.At that time, I didn't have such big ambitions, and it was very satisfying to eat steamed buns with white noodles and stewed pork with Chinese cabbage.Work hard, it's okay to be a soldier for four years, that's enough, four years!Therefore, even though I was assigned to the Black Sand Beach Farm far away from the headquarters of the fortress area after the recruit training, even though the recruits shed tears when they heard that they were assigned to the Black Sand Beach Farm, even though the head of the Black Sand Beach Farm who came to pick us up was ugly, I Hao Qinglin, a fellow villager, secretly scolded "dog spy", but I was very calm in my heart.What's so scary about Black Beach Farm?Isn't it just work? !As long as I have my steamed buns to eat and my clothes to wear, I can work anywhere for the rest of my life.

In this way, among the ten recruits in the car, I was probably the only one who was interested in watching the dark blue hills flashing in the dark clouds in the distance, and listening to the orderly sound of the gray-blue ocean tide washing over the beach. . "Those who are capable work hard, those who are wise worry much, and those who are incompetent have nothing to ask for."I have only been studying for four years, and I really don't bother with empty words such as "ideal" and "future".Hao Qinglin, a fellow villager who had studied six years more than me, had a gloomy face and a preoccupied look.He can speak well, write articles, and play the erhu.When we joined the army together, the evaluations of the villagers were: the boy of the Liang family is a cannonball; the young man of the Hao family is a born official.I also know that Hao Qinglin's future is several times brighter than mine.Hao Qinglin also thought that he would be assigned to the compound in the fortress area to do decent work.At that time, there was a warrior art troupe in the fortress area. I heard that there was a shortage of talents who could pull and sing.Who knows what happened, he was assigned to the black sand beach with me, a groundhog.

The black sand beach is a terrifying place in the eyes of the fighters in the fortress area.At that time, the soldiers all made a bet and said: "If... let me go to the Black Beach." Of course, no one said that in front of the cadres. After all, the Black Beach is a farm for the army, not a labor camp or a place of exile.But what about in your heart?Not only soldiers, but in the hearts of those cadres, who wants to go to the black sand beach?Oh, this black sand beach is one hundred and eighty miles away from the county seat!From the day it was established, only one director took root there, and he spent more than ten years of his life sweating on this black sand beach.Other cadres changed from crop to crop like a revolving lantern.It is said that the Black Sand Beach Farm at that time was just like today’s colleges and universities. The cadres who went there were like entering colleges and universities for further study. , hang a layer of amber bright armor, and you can sell it for a big price.

The director who has rolled on the black sand beach for more than ten years is sitting in the pilot building.His dark and thin face, bald shiny forehead, teeth yellowed by tobacco smoke, and piercing small eyes made us recruits look down on him.And the half of his cowhide belt, which has become black and shiny with age, always hangs loosely between his legs.My boss, can't you just tuck that half of your belt in your trouser nose? Just as I was thinking wildly, the truck suddenly made a strange "creaking" sound-sudden brake.The huge inertia made us new recruits who had no experience in driving roll forward like a pile of walnuts and squeezed into a pile.The driver, Lao Ge poked his head out from the driver's building, opened his mouth with one of his front teeth broken off by the car crank, and cursed, "Damn it! Are you courting death?!"

Two meters in front of the car, stood a woman with fluffy hair and dusty face, carrying a girl about five or six years old on her back.The girl's head rested weakly on the woman's shoulder, and her big eyes stared at Lao Ge's toothless mouth in horror. Liu Jiatai, a veteran who sat on my quilt and kept his eyes closed, opened his eyes and told me in a low voice, "Madman, a madman from the black sand beach." "The People's Liberation Army, please do me a favor, let's take my mother and my wife for a while..." "No, get out of the way!" Lao Ge said angrily.

The director glared at Lao Ge, jumped off the pilot building, and said kindly, "Sister-in-law, get in the car." The driver Lao Ge said unhappily: "Go to the back, hurry up." "Let her sit in the pilot building." The director let the woman and the girl into the pilot building, and the woman thanked her repeatedly.The director pushed the door shut, stepped on the side of the car, and climbed into the compartment. The truck was like a crazy calf, bumping and rushing forward.The director sat on a quilt and took out a pack of "Sunflower" cigarettes worth nine cents.I peeked at the old man, at his gnarled fingers holding a cigarette.Maybe it was my illusion, maybe it was the vibration of the vehicle, but I saw that hand trembling slightly.

Probably the anger of the driver of Huoya subsided, and the car finally moved forward smoothly.Rows of locust trees baring their teeth and claws on the side of the road fell backwards.The wheels rustled against the ground, the engine whined cheerfully, and the exhaust valve chocked rhythmically.Veteran Liu Jiatai closed his eyes, shook his head, and sang a song with a familiar tune but unfamiliar words as if raving.He called himself a "veteran," but he actually enlisted only a year before us, and he was a loafer.The singing voice slipped out of his mouth like a loach: black sand beach cloudy sky

The soldiers on the black sand beach are so sad Black sand beach kids without pants The girl on the black sand beach drills into the barracks Black sand beach... black sand beach... This yin and yang song made us recruits open our eyes wide and stare at Liu Jiatai's opening and closing mouth in astonishment.Even I, a short-sighted person who doesn't care about the world falling as long as I have steamed buns and cabbage, felt a chill in my heart, and my hairs stood on end.Is the black sand beach we are going to be such a ghost place? "Liu Jiatai, what are you singing nonsense about?!" The director roared angrily. "Captain, isn't this true?" Liu Jiatai opened his eyes and said indifferently. "You dare to disturb the morale of the army, I will destroy you!" "Captain, please sit still, you. The fire cannot be contained in paper, and these little brothers will know what the black sand beach is like as soon as they arrive." "Shut up that stinking mouth of yours, shut up, no one will sell you as a dumb." The director's voice was hoarse and his eyes were red.His head, however, drooped limply, down to his propped knees. Liu Jiatai stopped singing, but whistled the song just now.He whistled very well, melodious, smooth, crisp and bright.He repeated the tune over and over again, and the words he sang just now hit my heart forcefully like cold raindrops hitting the sand. Liu Jiatai has tortured us enough, and the black sand beach is coming soon.The sea was right in front of us, and the cold and damp wind blowing continuously from the sea made the early spring weather irritating to the skin.I saw several rows of dark red tile-roofed houses from a distance, and I saw dozens of rows of low thatched cottages within a stone's throw of the tile-roofed houses.In a radius of dozens of miles, there is no shadow of a village, only the long and narrow sandy beach stretching endlessly along the edge of the sea. "Why is it called a black sand beach? I have only seen golden sand, dark red sand, and to be exaggerated, pale sand, but I have never seen black sand." My wife asked me this way. Yes, so far, I have not seen a black sand beach.The sand of the black sand beach is actually a mature wheat grain-like color, and it can also make people visually change at different times of the day.In the bright morning sun, it has a warm rose red; in the noon sun, it shines dazzling silver; in the evening, the sunset makes it cast a layer of violet-like luster.In short, it is not black, even in the dark night, it also shimmers with a faint silver-gray light. I once asked Liu Jiatai, a veteran of the "Encyclopedia" on our farm, with questions like my wife, and he said dismissively: "A recruit, what a recruit! The beach is dark red, golden yellow, purple red, rose red, Can’t it be called Black Sand Beach? Can’t black be called white, can’t white be called green, red, variegated, and messy? You, don’t worry about it so much, since everyone calls it Black sand beach, you can just call it black sand beach.” Liu Jiatai’s brilliant explanation like a philosopher made me, a new recruit, really enlightened like a god.Since then, I have never had the idea of ​​justifying the name of the black sand beach. Our Black Sand Beach Farm is naturally located on the Black Sand Beach. Next to the farm is a small village that operates agriculture even though it is close to the sea. The name of the village is also called Black Beach.I heard that the black sand beach has become a very prosperous place now, but in those years when I was a soldier, it was a desolate scene.The people in Black Sand Beach said that there is plenty of money in the army.That's a good point.Every year, we use ten-wheel trucks to travel hundreds of kilometers to bring in a large amount of dung, ammonia, and chemical fertilizers to transform this barren sandy plain.We did not hesitate to use a huge cost to drill one deep well after another on the beach.Although the cost of the wheat we grow is as high as fifty cents per catty, the political significance of growing wheat on the beach is hard to buy with a thousand dollars.Our farm manager is the founder of Black Beach Farm.He was later sentenced to labor reform for some reason. When he and I watched the waterway watering the wheat fields, he once said that if he used the money to start a farm to build a seawater farm in Heishan, then Heishan would probably have become a bustling small town. At that time, the one who was undergoing the test at the Black Beach Farm was Wang Long, who later became the director of the Propaganda Department of the Political Department of the Fortress Area—I heard recently that he is likely to become the youngest deputy political commissar in the Fortress Area!Ah, what kind of people does this belong to?At the time, he was an instructor on the farm.My head is a worker, peasant and soldier college student.Fair and clean skin, in those days, he didn't seem to dare to use liquid or ointment to protect the skin, and his beautiful face was also cracked. The spring of 1976 was an unusual spring in Chinese history. I still can’t forget the long theoretical tutoring lectures given by Instructor Wang Long, and I will never forget that he kept the lights on all night in his small room. lights.I once entered his office and dormitory, the open and unopened classics with red and blue pencils and gold lettering placed on the table and on the bedside made me crawl out of the mud child stunned.Liu Jiatai, a veteran who was not afraid of officials by nature, once joked to us: Don't touch the instructor's stomach, his stomach is full of Marxist-Leninist phrases, and he will vomit if he touches it.These words, Hao Qinglin once reported to the instructor, the instructor laughed it off and did not embarrass Liu Jiatai. I started my career as a soldier following the valuable experience my cousin taught me.For two months in a row, I got up early every day to clean the toilet. I didn't talk much, but I did the most work.But when the regiment branch of the Black Beach Farm recruited the first batch of recruits, I was "not on the list", while my fellow villager Hao Qinglin was "at the top".This can not but be a heavy blow to me.Lying in bed at night and unable to sleep, I carefully compared Hao Qinglin with myself.In terms of background, my family has three generations of poor peasants, with good roots, and Hao Qinglin's grandfather was an accountant for the Kuomintang township government.In terms of appearance, Hao Qinglin has a sharp mouth and monkey cheeks, and he doesn't need to make up to play a spy, but I am as straight as a tree stump.I sweat profusely every time I clean the toilet, help the kitchen, and work in the field. Even the field manager pats me on the shoulder and praises: "Okay, you little boy!" Where's Hao Qinglin?Too lazy to work, always wearing those gloves dyed white with fluorescent whitening agent when working.But Hao Qinglin joined the regiment before me?Doesn't he just copy articles from newspapers?Doesn't he just write a few lines of chalk on the blackboard?Is this all it takes?Oh shit. I lay on the bed "pancake", the bed board creaked.Liu Jiatai, a veteran who was lying on the lower bunk, said unhappily, "What's the matter, son of a new recruit? Do you miss your wife?" "No, Old Liu, no..." "Oh, you." Liu Jiatai sat up and said quietly to me, "I know what you think. I will teach you two ways: one is to follow me, thinking about nothing, being afraid of nothing, and not caring about anything. What kind of League member, if you ask me to join, I will not join; the second is to learn from Hao Qinglin, criticize and speak positively, no matter whether it is right or wrong, whether you understand it or not, just talk nonsense, in this way, I will guarantee you to join the League for three months and one year Then join the party." "I won't……" "You are too stupid, too stupid. For example, a few days ago, the instructor asked you to praise the great situation in the countryside. What did you say? You actually said, 'My father said, it is better to work alone now, when you can eat cornmeal Pancakes and radish dishes, now I eat rotten sweet potatoes and dried seeds every day.'” "It's true." "Who doesn't know it's true? Do you think the instructor doesn't know it's true? His father is also eating rotten sweet potatoes at home. You have to close your eyes and tell the truth as false, and the false as true , In this way, everything is trivial." oh my!Veteran Liu Jiatai taught me another lesson. This lesson is in the same line as the "black sand beach" problem, but it is more profound and makes my heart skip a beat.My cousin's valuable experience is outdated, and the principles of life that my parents taught me since childhood are no longer effective.Liu Jiatai also warned me: "If you are still so stupid, you will be demobilized in two years. You can't compare with me. I enlisted in the city, and I hope to go back and find a job soon. You, learn to be smart..." Yes, I must become smart as soon as possible, for this white flour steamed bun, for this Chinese cabbage stewed pork, for the "divorce..." Every festival, my eyes will shine, and my stomach will be surprisingly large.This is a bad habit developed on the black sand beach.Every holiday at Black Beach Farm, pigs and sheep are slaughtered, and more than a dozen dishes are prepared.This kind of gluttonous eating caused me to be punished twice: first, I got stomach problems, and second, I was strictly controlled and ridiculed by my wife who is a nurse.She said many times that I was a country bumpkin through and through. Although I was also a so-called "writer", I couldn't roll my eyes when I saw the delicious food, and I couldn't wait to swallow the plate. For the first time in my life, I saw a table full of fish, and I was able to sit at the table with a dignified identity and eat a full meal. This opportunity was given to me by the Black Beach Farm, but my appetite was not good that time.This date—May 1, 1976—is like an important anniversary in my life that I will never forget.In those days, Liu Jiatai, a veteran soldier, enlightened me. I no longer got up early to clean the toilet, and I did not throw off my cotton-padded clothes and sweat all over my body.I submitted the second application for joining the group to the instructor who also served as the secretary of the group branch.The application consisted of nine and a half pages, nine of which were copied from newspapers.I actively asked to participate in the farm theory group to study the theory of the dictatorship of the proletariat.Although I am semi-literate and can't understand shit, I was accepted as a member of the theory group.At this time, Hao Qinglin had become the "chief team member" of the theory group, and he published some scary high-level theories from time to time.Liu Jiatai praised me secretly: "Boy, I have a door. It won't be three months. If I can't join the group, I will buy cigarettes and treat guests." Because the progress is promising, I am in a good mood, and since two o'clock in the afternoon, there is a burst of noise in the cafeteria. With a burst of tangy aroma, my body feels as comfortable as lying in warm fine sand.The cooking squad leader asked me to dig green onions in the vegetable field outside the gate. I hummed a little song and went happily.As soon as I got out of the gate, I saw a group of children, big and small, in the village of Black Sand Beach, walking around the barracks; I saw white waves rushing onto the beach layer by layer.I saw a masson pine forest on the beach, and in the wheat field outside the pine forest, the wheat had already budded and booted; a sumptuous dinner made a five-foot-tall man feel light. "As for what?" my wife asked me. "If you don't believe it, you have to believe it, because I won't lie to you. If I know magic and put you into that era to live for ten years, no, one month, you will be worse than me." I said to my wife.She wrinkled her nimble nose disapprovingly. At four o'clock in the afternoon, the food was served and everyone was seated.I'm already hungry and eager to try - I've had a stomach since breakfast.After finally waiting for the instructor's toast, I couldn't wait to take a sip of the beer that smelled like horse urine, picked up my chopsticks and dropped the guy. "Slow down and eat!" The director suddenly said in a low and majestic voice.My hands trembled, and the meatballs I picked up fell into the plate again. "Everyone, look out the window, look at...those eyes..." The director pointed to the glass window. That's sixteen eyes.The eyes of sixteen hungry children in Black Beach Village.Some of these eyes are black and shiny, some are dull, some have white eyeballs like duck egg blue, and some black eyeballs are like sea blue.They were staring at our table, at the fish on the table.What moved me the most were those two big, black eyes, with long eyelashes reflecting them.The crazy woman has two eyes like this, and these are the daughter of the crazy woman.With such a gaze that pierces the heart like a knife, no matter what kind of delicacies are delicious, can you still eat them? "Cheers? Fuck you! The common people can't fill their stomachs. These children are staring at us like hungry cats. This table is full of wine and meat..." The director's black face twitched in pain, and he shouted hoarsely: " Liu Jiatai and Liang Quan, go and invite these children in and let them sit at the head!" "Captain, isn't this inappropriate?" the instructor said tactfully. "Eating with eyes closed is the biggest inappropriateness!" said the director. At this time, my desire to eat a big meal was gone, and it was as if a handful of rotten seaweed had been stuffed into my heart, which was a mess and uncomfortable.The eyes of these children remind me of my younger siblings who are thousands of miles away.Liu Jiatai and I ran out of the window, and the children dispersed, only the little girl with big eyes was frightened, and stood outside the window, staring blankly at me and Liu Jiatai.I have never seen such a little girl.She was as thin as a bean sprout, and seeing her made one's heart ache like being scratched by sharp claws.I have never seen such two children's eyes, like a pool of sad and pure lake covered by dark clouds.She looked at us fixedly and didn't speak.I dare not look at her again.I was afraid of crying myself.I bend over.Pick her up.She didn't cry or fuss, her head limply rested on my shoulder, and then, pointing to the house with her dirty little hand, she said, "Hungry...I'm hungry..." My throat seemed to be stuffed with a ball of cotton, choked Choked up and said: "Little sister... I'll take you to eat..." Liu Jiatai stared at the sandy beach winding along the sea with a livid face. The sun slanted in the west and the sandy beach showed a strong purple-red color.Slogan-style songs sounded again from the tweeters on the head of the Black Sand Beach village.He kicked a cabbage lump more than ten meters away, and walked straight back to the dormitory.That afternoon, he lay on the bed with his eyes wide open and didn't even drink a sip of water. The little girl panted like a hungry little beast, and quickly ate enough food for an only child of the same age to eat for two days.After that, his eyes were still greedily staring at the dish, and the bright red tip of his tongue licked his lips.The farm hygienist said to the field manager: "You can't feed her any more, or she will be overwhelmed." "Yes, don't feed her anymore, if a starving person eats too much food, it will cause serious consequences, even death! You stupid soldiers, you are absolutely ridiculous!" My wife who graduated from nursing school Started scolding me again. If someone takes our only daughter and stuffs her with big fish and meat, my wife will fight him desperately.But the little girl's mother, that crazy woman, knelt down to us.She ran from the village to the barracks, screaming mournfully.She heard the child who ran back say that her daughter was taken away by the People's Liberation Army.She called "Xiuxiu! Xiuxiu! My Xiuxiu!" and rushed into our camp and broke into our banquet.The woman was stunned, her eyes were round, her lips were moving, she looked at the director who was holding her daughter, and fell to her knees: "Liberation Army, do me a favor, return the child to me, child!" Ignorant, a fool, like her father, like her father, a fool..." Her nerves did seem to be faulty, and the frightened and desperate light in her eyes made people feel chills down the spine. The director quietly took out a roll of tickets from his pocket—that was the wages he had just received—put it into the little girl’s pocket, and handed the girl to the woman. "Thank you, my relatives, the People's Liberation Army... Thank you, my relatives, the People's Liberation Army... My child's father is a good person... The People's Liberation Army is a good person..." The woman murmured while holding the child, and left.This little episode made the audience unhappy. A soldier who knew about it said: "This woman is pitiful enough. A few years ago, the man chased Xiaohai to be spontaneous, criticized and fought a few times, hanged himself with a rope, and died; the woman was stimulated, half crazy and half stupid A child sues everywhere, but who cares about her?" "I've heard people say... this woman is... the daughter of a landlord..." Hao Qinglin said in a stalemate, blushing. "Comrade Hao Qinglin is right. The current class struggle is very complicated. Class enemies will use various means to attack us. We must be vigilant against those frozen snakes and snakes that have turned into beautiful women. We must not lose our vigilance and must not forget... ..." the instructor said earnestly. "Fart!" The director slapped the cup heavily on the table.The glass was broken, and the beer trickled down the edge of the table. "Director, please calm down. Calm down. Emotions cannot replace principles." My instructor, who is familiar with Marxism-Leninism, is indeed highly cultivated. The director's foul language did not change his persuasive tone in the slightest. The head of the field was like a deflated ball, sitting weakly at the dining table. He grabbed the only bottle of beer from the table, bit off the lid, and gulped down Fan. It was a singing party in the evening, and I stuttered and read a "jingle".Hao Qinglin showed his talents and recited a thousand-character "poem".The instructor told a few short stories about the legalist wisdom fighting Confucianism.The driver of Huoya, Lao Ge, took the lead in booing and let the director show the show.The director thought for a while, then narrowed his eyes, and sang the folk song mentioned at the beginning of this article.His voice is hoarse and high-pitched, like a local singer in the countryside, he does not seek the accuracy of the syllable, but adds some desolate slides at the end of the lyrics as he pleases.He seemed to be recalling the past years, meditating and remembering.The singing voice sang out of his mouth casually, just like the singing voice of a farmer sitting on the big wheeled cart along the flat and dry country road, lazily illuminated by the sun. a cow and a horse Big wheel, turn around moved to my home The reason why the folk song "Big Wheel Car" can make my heart tremble and my eye sockets sour is not because of its melody and lyrics, but because our field director once sang it in that special era.In everyone's life, there are often some extraordinary experiences connected with ordinary things.These things appear after a few years, and they can always evoke his memories of the past and reverie about the future.So, when I listen to this song in the theater, it is not inconceivable that my heart is boiling like water. Hao Qinglin is indeed an extremely intelligent person, and a hero who is unwilling to be lonely.After all, he is not a cow that can be tied to the black sand beach for a long time.Immediately after this guy joined the group, he handed in an application for joining the party.According to well-informed Liu Jiatai, the secretary of the party branch—the head of the field once had a conversation with Hao Qinglin: The director flipped through Hao Qinglin's thick application form, frowned and asked, "What is your purpose for joining the party?" "Fight for the cause of communism for life." "do you have anything else?" "Be a strong fighter who defends the proletarian revolutionary line." "Tell me something from the bottom of your heart!" "That's what I said from the bottom of my heart." "That's enough! As long as I'm the emperor of the black sand beach, and as long as you scare me with this nonsense, I will never accept your application!" The director threw Hao Qinglin's application on the table. Liu Jiatai told me that at that moment Hao Qinglin's face was as pale as a piece of carrot peel. "The field manager is a born fool!" Liu Jiatai said to me, "Why should I return the application to him? After accepting the application, wouldn't he just be locked out of the gate? Just wait and see, Hao Qinglin will not let it go. .” Unfortunately, what Liu Jiatai said was right, and the director offended Hao Qinglin.A veteran with more than 20 years of military experience was forced to do somersaults by a recruit who had been in the army for less than half a year.At that time, the army was setting up a model of "anti-trend" and promoting "warriors" who dared to sing against the big shots.All these gave Hao Qinglin inspiration and enlightenment. He took the field chief as a brick and knocked on the door he wanted to enter. Hao Qinglin wrote a letter to the party committee of the fortress area.He said in the letter that the head of the field, Zuo Laifu, was born in a wealthy middle peasant family, and what he never forgot was the rich peasant life of "one cow, one horse, one cart". He openly sang "Big Wheel Cart" at the singing party. The woman has an ambiguous relationship... All this shows that the field chief Zuo Laifu is a democrat hiding in the army... After Hao Qinglin finished writing this letter, he came to me once, and he said: "Liang Quan, for the sake of fellow villagers and the fact that you saved my life from the river when I was young, I will give you a chance to improve. , here, sign it." He handed me the letter, he said it as if he didn't care, but his hands were trembling, his little face was blue and white, and he looked unserious.I took the letter he handed over and read it.To be honest, I was terrified. "How can this be so mysterious?" I asked. "Brother, this is class struggle." Hao Qinglin took out a pack of high-end cigarettes and handed me one, and I waved my hand.He lit... a cigarette by himself, and it was obvious from the way he held the cigarette that he didn't know how to smoke either.He coughed and said, "It's a risk... Dude, I'm going to fight it out. If you succeed, you will be a prince and you will be a thief!" You were hit by a stone that day, and he carried you all the way back, and you were as tired as a prawn, you couldn’t even straighten your waist..." "Stop it!" Hao Qinglin lit another cigarette, Sitting opposite me with a gloomy face, his eyes were confused, fierce, and uneasy. The muscles on his thin cheeks were wriggling like a small sea cucumber, and even his helix, which was only slightly protruding, was trembling slightly.He stood up suddenly, gritted his teeth and said, "Feelings can't replace principles. It's his own doing to go to jail. I won't hurt you, Liang Quan." "This..." I hesitated. "Just because of you, you still want to divorce 'Sweet Potato Ganzi'?" Hao Qinglin looked at me contemptuously. "I...sign..." My hands were curled up like chicken paws, tremblingly grasping the pen, and crookedly wrote my name on the letter.Hao Qinglin left, my heart was beating wildly, as if I had just stolen something from someone else.I thought, is Hao Qinglin going to be the bottom one? One week after Hao Qinglin's letter was sent out, the director of the political department of the fortress area and the chief of the security department came to the Black Sand Beach Farm in a jeep.The left field chief not only did not admit "guilty", but made some more outrageous remarks.After the director of the political department consulted the party committee of the fortress area, he announced that the director of the field was suspended for inspection.Hao Qinglin suddenly became a well-known figure in the whole district.And me?The Chief of Security had a conversation with me.When asked how I recognized the true face of the "democrat" of the left field chief, I stammered and said, "I...don't know, Hao Qinglin asked me to sign one, so I signed one..." The security chief shook his head, let me go.He probably saw right away that I was a poorly made fool.However, soon I joined the group, I think, this is probably because of the light of the signature. This year, Black Beach Farm planted 300 acres of wheat.When the field manager left the field, it was the wheat filling season.Gusts of dry southwest wind blow the sandy black sandy beach.The leaves of the wheat were curled dryly.The matter of the director has never ended.If he was suspended for inspection, he didn't care at all.The party committee of the fortress area does not seem to be monolithic, and the instructor has asked for instructions several times but has not received a clear answer.The instructor had no choice but to assign him to water the wheat fields, and sent me and Liu Jiatai to go with him. We built a shack outside the computer room door and stayed in the field day and night.Liu Jiatai and I took turns looking at the diesel engines, and the field manager looked at the waterways alone.Looking at the gurgling water flowing into the wheat field, watching the watered wheat branch with bright leaves, the wrinkles on the farmer's face are stretched out.He carried a shovel and walked along the ditch.Looking at his hunched back, I felt deeply guilty in my heart.Is it a "democrat" because he sings a song, scolds a mother, and pities a pitiful out-of-time woman?I am really confused. When I was sent to water the ground, the instructor had a personal conversation with me. He asked me to supervise the actions of the director and Liu Jiatai, and pay attention to collecting their reactionary remarks.Many years later, I guessed a little bit of the instructor's intention of sending me and Liu Jiatai to supervise the director: I am a fool, and Liu Jiatai is a whiner.I am stunned, so it is the most reliable; Liu Jiatai's mouth is weird, so that he can lead the director to expose.What's more, Liu Jiatai also satirized the instructor. He wanted to take the opportunity to label him a "little democrat", right? On the night of the beginning of May in the lunar calendar, the black sand beach, which has been baked by the sun for a day, is as warm as a bed.We stopped the hot diesel engine that had been running continuously for more than ten hours, and sat on the fine sand that was warmed by the daytime sun.The sky is full of stars, not far away, the sleeping sea is whispering, and the director's cigarette butt is flickering brightly and darkly. "Give me a cigarette, old man." Liu Jiatai said. The director silently handed him the cigarette.Liu Jiatai took out one and lit it, and handed the cigarette case in front of me: "Will you have one? You are a recruit." I shook my head and declined. "Recruit boy, that fellow of yours is about to join the party, and has already started filling out the application form." "I heard about it." "Grandma, it's really easy to join the party these days. Hey, old man, don't you stop making a few reactionary remarks? Sing that "Big Wheel Cart" again, and I'll write a letter tomorrow to fool you A party member should be." The head of the field sighed heavily and fell back on the sandy ground. "You, you have lived more than fifty years in vain! Why are you a skinny donkey and shit, pretending to be a hero? Open your eyes, close your eyes, you can live a foolish life, no, you have ruined your reputation, and you have to work night shifts to water the ground..." "Get out of here, I don't need you to teach me a lesson!" The director folded up and roared angrily. “老头子，别发火，别发火。我哪里敢教训你？我是开导你哩。来，抽咱支烟，别看咱每月七元钱，抽烟的水平比你这个老志愿军还高。场长，我真不明白，你干吗不找个女人？别看你老得干巴巴的，就凭着每月九十元工资，找个大闺女没问题。” “嗨，你才是一个不到两年的新兵。要是二十年前，碰上你这样的熊兵，我不踢出你的屎汤子来算你模样长得端正。”场长无可奈何地接过刘甲台的一支烟，点上了火。 “算啦，场长，别提你那二十年前了。我知道你那时是个少尉，肩上挂着牌子，腰里扎着武装带，走起路来皮鞋咔咔响。老皇历，过时了。现在是七十年代，天翻地覆了。我真不明白，你怎么突然唱起那么一支歌，场长，你说说，为什么要唱那么一支歌？” “我也说不清……”场长又仰在温暖的细沙上，双眼望着天上的繁星的那条灰白色的天河，梦幻般地说着。 “我突然想起报名抗美援朝时，第二天就要去区里集中了，趁着晚上大月亮天，我和我媳妇赶着牛车往地里送粪，她坐在车辕杆上，含着眼泪唱过这支歌……后来，她死了……难道共产党革命就是为了把老百姓革得忍饥挨饿吗？为什么就不能家家有头黄牛有匹马，有辆大轱辘车呢？为什么就不能让女人坐在车辕杆上唱唱《大轱辘车》呢？……” 场长狠命地吸了一口烟，一点火星一瞬间照亮了他那张疲惫苍老的脸。夜色苍茫凝重，旷远无边。远处传来海的低呜。马尾松林里栖息的海鸟呓语般地啁啾着。一颗金色的流星像一滴燃烧的泪珠，熠熠有声地划开沉沉的夜幕。黑沙滩的夜，真静啊…… “场长，你唱吧，唱吧……”刘甲台动情地说。 “你唱吧，场长……”我鼻子不通气，像患了感冒。 “雪白浪像长长的田埂，一排排涌过来。浪打湿了她的衣服，漫到了她的膝盖。'孩子，闭住眼。'她说。'妈妈，我们到哪儿去？'女孩儿问。'去找你爸爸。''爸爸离这儿远吗？''不远，快到了。你别睁眼。'海水已经漫到她的胸膛，浪花抽打着她的脸。她站立不稳，身子摇摇晃晃。'妈妈，怕……怕……'女孩儿哭起来。'不怕，秀秀，不怕，就要到了……'她的衣服漂起来了，她的头发飘起来了。海水动荡不安，浪潮在呜咽着……” “你为什么不去救她？你眼见着她走向死亡，你的心是铁打冰铸的？”妻子抓住我的胳膊使劲几摇撼着，她爱动感情，唏嘘着说。 “这是我的想象，我想，她应该这样走向大海……”我对妻子解释着。 ……在我们三个人浇麦子的那些日子里，疯女人像个影子一样在我们周围转来转去。她有时走到我们不远处，定定地望着我们，嘴唇哆嗦着，仿佛有什么话要说。我们一抬头看她，她就匆匆离开，当我们不去注意她时，她又慢慢地靠上来。有一天上午，场长到很远的地方改畦去了。刘甲台躺在窝棚外的沙地上晒着鼻孔睡觉。我坐在机房前，修理着一条断马力带。那女人怯生生地走上前来。小女孩儿在她怀里睁着圆溜溜的眼睛，一见我，就伸出小手，说：“叔叔，吃肉……”这孩子，竟然还认识我。我赶忙跑进窝棚，把早晨剩下的两个馒头递给女人。她连连后退着说：“不要，俺不要，俺想跟你打听点事。同志……听说，场长犯错误了？” “嗯哪。”我含含糊糊地回答。 “是反革命？” “也许是吧。好了，你快走吧，不要在我们这儿转来转去，影响不好。” “好，好，好，这就好了。”女人把脸贴在女孩儿脸上，半哭半笑地说着，“秀秀，这下咱娘俩有指望了……” 女人走了。望着她的背影，我叹了一口气，自言自语地说：“真是个精神病……” 当天晚上，我们在窝棚门口吃饭。黯淡的马灯光照着场长那张黑黑的脸，几只飞虫把马灯玻璃罩子撞得噼噼啪啪的。忽然响起刷拉刷拉的脚步声，一个长长的影子在我们面前定住了。 “谁？”场长瓮声瓮气地问。 那影子急剧地移动着，来到我们面前。what!is her.她打扮得整整齐齐，胳膊上挎着小包袱，怀里抱着孩子。一到场长面前，她扑通跪在地上，抽泣着说：“好人，好大哥，你行行好，收留了俺娘俩吧……你是反革命，我也是反革命，正好配一对……好大哥，俺早就看出你是个好人，你别嫌俺疯，俺一点也不疯……俺给你烧饭、洗衣、生孩子……秀秀，来，给你爸爸磕头……” 那个叫秀秀的小女孩儿看看场长，小腿一弯，也跪在了场长面前，用稚嫩的嗓子喊：“爸……爸……” 场长像被火烧了似的一下蹦起来，拉起女人和孩子，惊惶失措地说：“这怎么行，这怎么行，大嫂，你醒醒神，唉，这是哪儿的话哟……” 这女人的举动不但使场长惊惶失措，连我和刘甲台也傻了眼，谁见过这种事呀！ “好大哥，你就答应了吧……” “大嫂，这是绝对不行的，你生活有困难，我可以帮助你……” “你嫌俺疯？你们都说俺是疯子？”女人尖厉地叫起来，“俺不疯，俺心里亮堂堂的。'白疤眼'每天夜里都去拨俺的门，都被俺骂退了……解放军，亲人，你行行好，带俺娘俩走吧。离开这黑沙滩，咱俩都是反革命……俺刚刚二十八岁，还年轻，什么都能干……” 场长求援地对我们说：“小刘，小梁，你们快把她劝走，我受不了……”场长逃命似的钻到窝棚后边去了。 我对那女人说：“你知道场长是怎样成为反革命的吗？就是因为他可怜你，让你搭车，给你钱，他才成了反革命！” 那女人胳膊一垂，小包袱吧嗒掉在地上。像被当头打了一棒，她摇晃了好一阵。突然，她抱起孩子，跌跌撞撞地跑了。 “你的包袱！”我喊了一声。回答我的是一阵纷沓的脚步声和憋不住的哭声。沉沉的黑沙滩上，传来海水的轰鸣。 “未必不是一桩天赐良缘。”刘甲台冷漠地说。 “瞎说！”场长从窝棚后边转过来。 “她长得不难看，场长，比你强多了。” “我不准你对我说这种话，刘甲台，我的军龄比你的年龄都大！” “场长，你要是个真正的男子汉，就娶了她；要是一身女人骨头，那当然就算了。肥猪碰门你不要以为是狗挠的啊，我的场长。” “我崩了你个二流子！”场长暴怒地骂起来。 刘甲台不说话了。他又吹起了口哨，在静静的初夏之夜里，这口哨声像一条条鞭子，在我们头上挥舞，在我们心上抽打。 ……黑沙滩的孩子没裤子穿，黑沙滩的姑娘往兵营里钻，黑沙滩啊……黑沙滩…… “小梁，我求求你，明天回去把我的抽屉打开，那里边有八百块钱，你偷着送给她，让她投亲奔友去吧，我实在是不能够啊……” 第二天，我回场部去拉柴油，顺便想替场长办了那件事。我看到黑沙滩上围了一大堆人。一个孩子狂奔过来。我截住他问：“孩子，那是干什么的？” “疯子……疯子抱着秀秀跳海了……疯子淹死了……秀秀倒出肚里的水，活了……” 我的头轰的一声响。我扔下车子跑回窝棚，上气不接下气地说：“她，她跳海了……她死了……孩子救活了……” 两行清泪顺着场长那枯槁的脸庞流下来：“难道是我的错吗？难道是我的错吗？……”他喃喃地自语着，蹲在了地上，好半天没有动一动。 “伪君子！”刘甲台恨恨地说。 “我娶了她，她不会跳海。可是再有一个这样的女人呢？你说，刘甲台，你说，再有一个这样的女人呢？”场长对着刘甲台吼叫。 “我娶！”刘甲台毫不示弱地盯着场长。 “小刘，给我一支烟……”场长无力地坐在地上。那根烟连划了三根火柴才点着。天上没有风，初夏的太阳正在暖暖地照射着黑沙滩和明镜似的海湾。 “小梁，你把钱送给村里人，让他们给秀秀……” 我转身要走，刘甲台伸手拉住了我。他从口袋里掏出了一张五元的票子、几张皱巴巴的毛票、两个硬币，拍在我的手里…… 浇完最后一遍水不过一周的光景，黑沙滩上的小麦就一片金黄了。而这时，黑沙滩村农民的麦田已收拾得干干净净。他们少肥缺水，小麦未及成熟就被西南风呛死了。又是一个歉收年。黑沙滩的农民们眼馋地瞅着我们这三百亩丰收在望的小麦，半大毛孩子不时地蹿进我们田里，捋几把麦穗，用掌心搓去糠皮把麦粒填到嘴里去。场里把看守麦子的任务交给我们三个，严防老百姓偷盗。 关于疯女人与场长这段令人心酸的“罗曼史”，我没有向指导员汇报，尽管他再三问我，场长和刘甲台都有些什么反动言论和活动。场里这时正忙着总结与“民主派”作斗争的经验，据说，要塞区要在黑沙滩召开现场会，让郝青林作经验介绍。我虽然也在那封信上签过名，但已经没有人提起了，这反倒使我心里安定了不少。 田里的麦子一天一个成色，应该开镰收割了。场长派我去场部催指导员，指导员却说，再等两天吧，等开完了这个现场会。听说军区首长还要来参加呢，这可是马虎不得的事情。我回来把指导员的话向场长学了一遍，气得老头子直摇头。 “场长，你摇什么头？”刘甲台冷冷地说。 “这是血汗，是人民的钱！” “有本事你去找指导员说去。”刘甲台激他。 “你以为我不敢去？”场长转身就要走。我急忙拉住他，劝道：“场长，算了，就拖几天吧，你别去惹腥臊了。” 当天傍晚时分，海上有大团毛茸茸的灰云飘来。西边的天际上，落日像猩红的血。海风潮湿，空气里充满咸腥味。天要变了。海边的天气变化无常，每当大旱之后，第一场风雨必定势头凶猛，并且往往夹带冰雹。场长是老黑沙滩了，他当然知道这个时节的冰雹意味着什么。他急躁不安地走动着，嘴里叽里咕噜地骂着人。 这一夜总算太平，虽然天阴沉沉的，风潮乎乎的。我们几乎一夜没眨眼。第二天一大早，场长也不管我们，疾步向场部走去。我和刘甲台紧紧跟着他，我劝他到了场里以后态度和缓一些，刘甲台却一声不吭。 场里正在大忙，几十个战士在清扫卫生，五六个战士在食堂里咋咋呼呼地杀猪。指导员两边跑着，嗓子都喊哑了，可战士们还是无精打采，那头猪竟从食堂里带着刀跑出来，弄得满院子都是猪血。 “老王，麦子！麦子！你看看这天，一场雹子，什么都完了！”场长截住气得发疯的指导员，急冲冲地说。 “老左，请你回去。一切我都会安排妥当的。”指导员阴沉着脸说。 “你看看这天，看看这天！” “请你回去，老左！我再说一遍，请你回去！别忘了你目前的处境。” 场长浑身颤抖，几乎要倒下去，我伸手扶了他一把。 “梁全，刘甲台，你们赶快回去，严防阶级敌人偷盗破坏，麦子明天就收割。”指导员命令我们。 场长还想分辩，这时，一辆辆吉普车从远处的公路上开来了，在车队中央，还有一辆乳白色的上海牌轿车。指导员有点气急败坏地对着我们喊：“快走！”他自己则跑去集合队伍，准备迎接首长了。我和刘甲台架着气得暴跳如雷的场长，几乎是脚不点地地向我们的窝棚跑去。 “好大的气派，黑沙滩这下要出大名了。”我说。 “这是场长的功劳。”刘甲台说。 “呸！”场长啐了一口唾沫。 麦田里有几十个人影在晃动，老百姓在偷我们的麦子。我们冲了过去。腿脚灵便的都跑了，只抓住了两个六十多岁的老头子和几个小孩子。 “嗨，人一穷就没了志气……我六十多岁的人了，也来干这种事情……羞得慌呀，同志。可是这儿——”老汉指指肚子，“不好受啊！” “同志，这天就要变，你看那云彩，五颜六色的，笃定要下雹子。这麦子，还不如让给老百姓，国家松松指缝，够老百姓吃半年啊。” 这时候，从遥远的海中，有隆隆的滚雷响起。风向忽然不可捉摸，一会儿一变。从西北方向的海平面上升腾起一大团一大团花花绿绿的云来。麦穗在惊恐不安地颤动。场长抬头看天。他的面部表情在很短的时间内起了复杂的变化，忽而激愤，小眼睛射出火一样的光；忽而迷惘，眼神游移不定；忽而凄楚，泪花在眼眶里闪烁……最后他的脸平静下来，平静得像一块黑石头刻成的人头像。 风在起舞，浪在跳跃，鸥鸟在呜叫。乌沉沉的天上亮起了一道血红色的闪电，适才还是隐隐约约的滚雷声已经听得很清楚了。 “场长，这天笃定要坏，解放军没空收割，我们老百姓帮忙，不能眼看着到手的粮食糟蹋掉……” 又是一道闪电，紧接着便是一串天崩地裂的雷声。场长平静的脸上突然闪过一道坚毅的光，他终于开口了：“乡亲们，你们快回村去叫人，就说，解放军的麦子不要了，谁割了归谁，越快越好。就说是解放军的场长说的，快，快啊！” “场长，你疯了？”我惊叫一声。 “你才疯了！”刘甲台推我一把，高喊起来，“老乡们，快回去，拿家伙，谁收了归谁啊！” 人群一哄而散，向着黑沙滩村跑去。 “场长，你不怕……” “怕什么？怕狼怕虎别在山上住！”刘甲台忿忿地盯着我。 “小刘，小梁，今天的事我自己承担。我知道，三百亩麦子只能使黑沙滩的老百姓过几个月好日子，解决不了根本问题。我知道，这事会带来什么后果。事过之后，你们俩全推到我身上。” “场长，刘甲台向您致敬！”刘甲台对着场长敬了一个庄严的军礼。这个像冰块一样冷的小伙子，眼里的泪水在亮晶晶地闪烁。 “场长……我跟您一块去蹲监狱。”我说。 “小伙子，问题没那么严重。”场长拍拍我的脑袋说。 黑沙滩的农民们蜂拥而来，男女老幼、红颜白发，像一条汹涌的河……走在最后边的是八十多岁的鱼婆婆，她收养着秀秀。那天，我偷偷地把钱给了她…… 一头黄牛一匹马 大轱辘车呀轱辘转呀 转到了我的家 在一阵紧似一阵的雷声中，在镰刀的刷刷声中，在粗重的喘息声中，我又一次听到了这支歌，那是刘甲台唱的。 “黑沙滩哄抢事件”被编成《政工简报》发到了全要塞区连以上单位。不久，要塞区开来一辆小车，把场长拉走了。 那天，也不知是谁走漏了风声，一大早，农场营院大门口就聚集了上百个老百姓，他们在无声地等待着。当载着场长的汽车缓缓驶出大门口时，人群像潮水一样拥了上去。 “场长！” “左场长！” 人们呼喊着，什么声音都有，不要命地拦住了车子。司机只好停住了车，场长弯着腰钻出车来，身体像狂风中的树叶一样抖动不止。他说：“乡亲们……再见了……” 那天参加“哄抢”的一个老汉抓住了场长的一只手，眼泪汪汪地说：“老兄弟，是俺连累了你……俺吃了你的麦子，心里都记着账，日后光景好了，一定还给你……兄弟，你就要走了，没别的孝敬，乡亲们擀了点面条，你……吃一点吧，赏给乡亲们个脸……” 十几个妇女揭开用包袱蒙得严严实实的盆盆罐罐，双手捧着，递到场长面前： “场长，吃俺的。” “吃俺的，场长。” 鱼婆婆牵着秀秀，分开众人，颤巍巍地走上前来。她什么也没说，从秀秀手里接过一个小碗、一双筷子，从每个盆里罐里夹起几根面条放到小碗里，那些面条切得又细又长，抖抖颤颤，宛若丝线。“我到年就八十八了，叫你一声儿子不算赚你的便宜，孩子，你吃了这碗面吧。这是咱黑沙滩的风俗，亲人出远门，吃碗牵肠挂肚面，省得忘了家，忘了本。”她把碗递给秀秀，说：“秀秀呀，把面给你爸爸……” “爸……爸……”秀秀双手捧着小碗，一点一点举起来。 场长双手接过碗，和着泪水把面条吞了下去。 鱼婆婆低下头，把场长那半截牛皮腰带给他塞进裤鼻里：“你呀，往后要拾掇得利利索索的，村里的姑娘媳妇都笑你邋遢哩……” “娘！”场长扑跪在鱼婆婆面前…… 汽车载着场长走远了，但战士们、村民们没有一个离去，大家都泪眼蒙咙地望着那沿着大海蜿蜒而去的公路…… ……这一年年底，刘甲台服役期满，复员了。我由于在“黑纱滩事件”中没站稳立场，也被提前复员处理了。我的“与红薯干离婚”的计划彻底破产了。我走时，郝青林到车站送我。他忙前忙后地照应我，仿佛是我的勤务兵。最后，他说：“梁全……这里的事……求你别回家乡说……”我心里仿佛打翻了五味瓶，但还是点了点头。 回到家乡后，村里人议论纷纷：“早就说了嘛，梁家的小子成不了气候，这不，一年就卷了铺盖。人家郝家小子，人了党，升了副指导员，这就叫'狼走遍天下吃肉，狗走遍天下吃屎'……” 听着这些议论，我连头都不屑回过去。我一点也不后悔，因为我在黑沙滩当过兵。 “一个平淡无奇的故事。”我的妻子撇撇嘴，打了一个哈欠。 确实，这故事本身平淡无奇，可是黑沙滩是迷人的。它其实是一种成熟的麦粒般的颜色，在每天的不同时刻，它还会使人发生视觉上的变化。在清晨丽日下，它呈现出一种温暖的玫瑰红；正午的阳光下，它发出耀眼的银光；傍晚的夕阳又使它蒙上一层紫罗兰般的色泽。总之，它不是黑色的，即使是在漆黑的夜晚，它也闪烁着隐隐约约的银灰色光芒。