Chapter 9 Second daughter born - 1

The girl told her mother that she was getting married He experienced fatherly love only when his second daughter was born. He is like a child who is too weak physically and mentally, and needs twice or several times more maternal love than others to grow up and mature.Like a child sucking milk, he sucked her maternal love, and gradually became stronger.The man's consciousness began to strengthen, and his father's love also awakened.When the younger daughter called him "Daddy" vaguely, he was overjoyed; when the younger daughter patted his cheek with her little hand, he was so happy that he almost shed tears.As for the eldest daughter, although she is only two years older, she is like a friend, a very dear child because she lost the first opportunity to cultivate her father's love.This little friend seemed to be her mother's assistant, a shrunken incarnation of her mother, standing in a different position from his mother, and surrounded him with extremely tender maternal love.To be fair, she also did her part in calling out his paternal love.Girls are born with a kind of motherhood, but it is revealed in a childish and unintentional way.When her father and sister were making out, she watched from the sidelines without any jealousy, smiling generously and happily, and looked at the pampering of father and sister with eyes that were almost loving.This look moved him, but it was a completely different kind of emotion.What grows with father's love at the same time is the sense of responsibility.

He liked girls and had no regrets about not having boys.On the contrary, I was very glad that the second one was not a boy.In this family, there are three women loving him and one man, and he is gradually being spoiled by women. With the birth of the child, life became increasingly difficult. There was no room for a second bed in the seven-square-meter hut, and the family of four squeezed into a small bed that was only four feet wide. If they turned over carelessly, the child would be crushed.Because they heard many terrible stories about children being crushed to death by adults, they hardly dared to turn over or move.And as he gradually became stronger, he developed more desires than usual. Although the child didn't notice it, the peaceful breathing and the pure face made people feel that doing such a thing was blasphemy and self-deprecation, so they suppressed it. Impulsive, restless all night, a little restless in the morning.The salaries of the two are enough to support the expenses of the family of four. If she is not very good at housekeeping, I am afraid that there will be a break.How to balance the income and expenditure, and have a little balance to meet urgent needs, has become a topic every morning and evening, which is frustrating and helpless.The most distressing thing is to start the show.Once the troupe leaves, it will be three to five months, and they can only take the children on the road.There is a lot of ups and downs, sometimes changing a station in a day.The conditions of the theater are better, and they can be allocated a separate dormitory, but more places are divided into male and female dormitories. She takes care of two children alone, so he can't help a little.Sometimes the child makes a fuss at night, crying and crying, and everyone in the room quarrels.Those who have been married and had children are more considerate, while those girls who have not yet left the cabinet do not understand human affairs and complain blindly.He could only wander outside the female dormitory, listening to the children's cries and people's undisguised resentment, his heart was torn apart with anxiety and helplessness.The upsurge of model operas has passed, because of the troupe's team and foundation, it still resumes Bangzi opera.She is from Nanjing, Jingbai can still speak a few words, but she can't speak Henan dialect well.The accompaniment of Bangzi opera does not matter whether there is a cello or not, and the organization of the band is not formal. There is no score for opera accompaniment, and it is all based on improvisation.The cello is used as a big ruan, and there is no score to do as he pleases. He can play the melody, the first note of each measure, or not, and the performance can always go smoothly.But at this moment, I have no time to think about my career and future, just staring at the days in front of me, passing each day in peace, no illness or disaster for adults and children, that is victory.

Therefore, despite life's hardships and many setbacks, their spirits are full and consistent.Every day spent is the goal of every day.Because of the hardships and embarrassments of life, and because of the constant troubles and problems in life, their love has tangible content and practical things to do, but they are more intimate.The four hugged each other tightly, forgetting about everything, and spending time slowly.The child's new tooth grows, the child learns a new nursery rhyme, occasionally buys a live fish and cooks it deliciously, occasionally arrives at a place where there is a separate hut, and an extra small bed is added, all of which make them feel happy. Satisfied, delighted, feeling great happiness.

In particular, he has always been fighting against invisible obstacles alone, struggling alone in nameless depression.At this time, the troubles of life are concrete and touchable, so there is no need to be confused, and there is less torment.And it is no longer fighting alone, but with support and a partner.Therefore, although life is bitter, it is simple, and the heart is at ease and peaceful. After all, the child grows up day by day, beautiful and sensible.The two sisters sat on the bed and played with the doll all day long.Sometimes grandma picks it up, sometimes grandma picks it up.They can live a relaxed and sweet life, get a little relief financially, and naturally think about their own affairs.The two of them were not mediocre at first, they had read books and had aspirations, and now they ended up playing tricks in a county theater troupe, which is not a good idea.At this time, a friend told the news that three hundred miles east of the county seat, there was a new song and dance troupe in the city of Huanghai Bay, recruiting troops everywhere, and there was a shortage of cellos, so he might as well give it a try.At first he thought that there would be no way out, so he was distressed to his heart's content, but now that he had hope, he was a little shy.He is a too lazy and indifferent person, unwilling to fight for a little bit in the world, and he will never take a step until the end of the mountain.The thought of the effort required to get there, and the great possibility of failure of that effort, frightened him at first.In order to avoid it, he didn't even complain anymore, and he didn't feel depressed anymore. He tried his best to show his satisfaction by pretending to be happy.

None of this escaped her eyes. She saw this man too clearly, and she felt both ridiculous and pitiful in her heart.She didn't expose him, because she knew that although he was cowardly, he was extra sensitive and self-respecting, so he had to be treated with extra care.At night, she stroked his soft hair, full of tenderness; during the day, she cooked the best meals, ironing his whole body and mind in every possible way.Then, she said: "Let's go over there." Naturally, she seemed to be inviting him to the vegetable market so that he would not be stimulated at all.Then he said: "Like going to play, we have never been there before!" Even though he said this, he felt the urgency after all, so he kept silent.She went on to say: "Your cello, it's a pity to be here." She was really sorry for him.That's all for her, she didn't come from a major, she was just playing around, she never thought that she would have a job and leave the countryside because of it, let alone that she would get to know him and have such a loving husband.She knew that he played the violin very well and was talented, and she also knew that he loved the cello very much, as long as she had heard his violin sound and seen his demeanor when he played the violin, she could understand.From the bottom of her heart, she hoped that he would have a good development, and hoped that he would have a bright but never bleak future.However, she encouraged him not only for this, but also for the two daughters to get a better education. There is a city the size of the city and the coast. From a distance, there will be development.She also has very little for herself.She grew up in the provincial capital. She is not used to the life and customs of a small county town, and she always yearns for the city life in her heart.Moreover, she has a spirit of constantly improving the environment. Although she is also responsible for her destiny, she still thinks that she might as well make a little effort, even if she doesn't gain anything, she won't lose anything.At least give it a try.So, she had to stir him up.Of course she couldn't tell him all of her thoughts at once, the responsibility was too great and it would frighten him before it overwhelmed him.She must not scare him away.Therefore, she only entrusted him with a small amount of responsibilities at first, which made him feel a little pressure, but not too heavy.So she just said, "I know you like the cello." That really touched him.He once asked a song and dance troupe in North Xuzhou to play "Little Heroes of the Grassland" for two months. Although the band was not very sound, it was an orchestra.His piano sound was added to it, being set off by others, and set off by others, he was really excited.Especially when the cello was soloing, the whole string trembled and hummed for him, and the piano echoed him with arpeggios. He heard his own piano sound coming out of the loudspeaker, filling the audience, and the audience fell silent. , he became proud...

He was immersed in memories, she didn't bother him, and walked out gently, letting him go, but he could no longer be at peace.It wasn't until he was in a turmoil that she held him in her arms, encouraged him with very gentle words, comforted him, gave him strength, and gave him peace of mind.It’s nothing to say everything, try it, it’s okay if you don’t try, we’re living a happy life here, aren’t we?Opened up a wide back road, and when he was relieved, he unknowingly gave him a little more responsibility: "Where the child can get a better education." This reminded him of his sense of responsibility as a father. Heavy, but also proud.She comforted him again, forgave him, opened a way for him to retreat, and opened a front for him.Finally entrusted him with all the responsibilities bit by bit, but he didn't scare him away.He hesitated and made up his mind:

"I'll go once. Will you go too?" "Of course I went." She said, "We went to play together. I heard that there is a mountain there. There is something about it." He is not interested, and has no interest in playing, but he can no longer retreat. Looking for a holiday, they went quietly without telling anyone.Walk out of the yard and through the weeds towards the train station.The morning sun shone in through the leaves one by one, and he suddenly became enlightened and hummed a little song.Looking at all this, she thought to herself: is a good sign. The steam whistle of the pier by the river was whistling, and the little granddaughter asked:

"Grandma, what's that noise?" Grandma replied: "The boat sounds." "What ship?" the little granddaughter asked. "The boat to take Dad home." Grandma said. "Mom said that Dad went home by train." The granddaughter said. "It's a train." Grandma agreed. The granddaughter played the big fork and circle game on the moss-covered stone floor, drawing circles and big forks all over the yard. Love is actually a war, and that war is really long and fierce. The two came face to face every morning, both of them had natural and plain faces, and when they passed by each other, their hearts became lively.After a month, things didn't make any progress. He didn't know what her intentions were, and whether his tactics were effective.She didn't even know what he was thinking?What kind of man is he who can deal with her so peacefully when he sees her.She hated it, but felt helpless.This is the only man she has hated and felt helpless in the past twenty years of her life.This feeling of hatred and helplessness was new to her, and it stimulated her even more.She gritted her teeth several times and swore that one day, she would make him kneel at her feet.For this goal, she thought about it all night, then changed her means.The next day, instead of her usual indifference, she became a little eager.When she greeted him, her eyes lingered in his eyes for a moment, leaving a little meaning, and then let go.This day is like a holiday for him.Her eyes gave him a little meaning every day, accumulated day by day, and he couldn't help himself. Looking at her eyes again, there was an answer, but she withdrew her eyes, giving him a frank and honest look. Another polite smile.This day has also become a holiday for her.In the first round, she won, but she also felt that she had lost something.Because she was the first to provoke the incident, she lost her reserve, she showed her intentions, became depressed after being happy, and simply kept doing nothing, and then started the second round of attack.This day, there was a trace of nameless melancholy in his eyes when he looked at her. This melancholy moved his heart even more than that earnestness, and also made him happy.For this melancholy, he went home and even had a few sips of wine.She conveyed to him a trace of melancholy every day, and she became paler and paler, which made her more delicate and charming.As if to answer her melancholy, he was also depressed, but she became happy, her face was fresher than ever, and she walked forward lively, as if she was going to a happy date.His eyes were caught by her peripheral vision, and she really had a very happy first day.In the second round, he succeeded again.But when she thought that the attack was initiated by her, it was inevitable that she would be suspected of actively chasing him, so she became depressed again.Fortunately, in the end, he revealed his temperament to make up for it, so that it would not be too humiliating, but it can only be regarded as a tie.She is very strict with herself in this respect.So the third, fourth, fifth, and sixth rounds began.

Things still didn't seem to be progressing, but both of them understood one thing in their hearts, that is, they became rivals.Now that they have become opponents, the relationship between them is no longer normal and natural.Thinking of this, both of them felt a little proud.But when he thought that the other party had already seen through this, he felt a little angry.He thought, this woman is really not easy to get, but he loves her even more in his heart. At night, he dreamed that she was in his arms, and his bones screamed when he hugged her.When I woke up and listened, my teeth were chattering.She thought, this man is rare, so she couldn't help being really moved, she bit her lip in hatred, it hurt so much, but she thought it was him kissing her.She was very annoyed when she found out that she actually asked him to kiss her; but because the kiss was only in her imagination, she felt a little melancholy.She thought of his sharp-edged mouth, white and neat teeth, and her heart beat.

Then, out of nowhere, they not only met each other at get off work, but also met at work.The days of just entering autumn are shorter, but the work and rest time has not changed.When I got off work, the sky was dark, and there were no lights on the road, and there were only a few people.They could recognize each other accurately, but they pretended not to recognize each other and walked over.Things seem to have come to such a time, everything is very clear, just one sentence.This sentence, or he said it, or she said it.But he didn't say anything, and neither did she.They are all waiting for the other party to speak, and they are all forcing the other party to speak.The matter is deadlocked like this, and it seems that there is no hope of a solution unless there is a god-sent opportunity.

One evening, on the way home from get off work, the two of them suddenly walked in a straight line. Because they couldn't see clearly, or deliberately couldn't see clearly, his bicycle collided with her.As soon as he bumped into it, he began to curse: "Bitch!" After cursing, he regretted it, why bother to curse, Ruuo just said: "How can a walking person bump into a bicycle rider!" Meaning, but also to cover up the true nature.When he scolded her, she immediately retorted: "You bitch, you are the son of a bitch." After scolding, she regretted it, why bother to be so impatient, as if she had something on her mind, she should calm down, and said quietly : "What did you hit the pedestrian on the bike?" It made him blush and heartbeat.But the fire in the hearts of the two of them was too hot for too long.Before he had time to think about it, he burst out and stood in the middle of the street and started cursing.Because there is no reason, because there is no reason, because they can't find the right words, the two of them are full of swear words.I never said it usually, but now I remembered it all for some reason, and when it came to my lips, I uttered a series of curses, which shocked all the men, women and children in the street.Seeing that a very civilized and decent young man and a handsome girl swear such scary words, they are all confused.He didn't try to persuade the fight for a while, but just watched in a daze.Cursing and cursing, unexpectedly, he slapped her, her cheeks were hot, but she felt a sense of pleasure, and she slapped back.Only then did the others make a fuss and stepped forward to pull them.She struggled and yelled: "What's in the way of your son-in-law, get out!" He pulled away his hand, grabbed her, and said to everyone: "What are you taking advantage of when it comes to the couple?" Trembling, tears came down somehow.The crowd scattered away laughing and cursing, and it was getting dark.At some point, they hugged each other tremblingly and said nothing.The moon just rose. In the evening, the girl returned to her home in Jingu Lane and told her mother that she was getting married.Mom was taken aback, and then cried, not knowing why.The girl would not let her mother cry, but clamored to tear the quilt and make new clothes.Mom wiped away her tears, and opened the door of the closet to show her. It turned out to be a closet of silk and satin.My mother saved it all her life, at first it was saved for herself, and later, when she had no hope, she saved it for the girl.The girl hugged her mother and cried with joy. That day, when the moon rose, the girls from Jingu Lane were about to leave Jingu Lane. Things are never as easy as imagined, but the action is never as painful as thought preparations.After a long and unremitting struggle, the transfer slowly made progress.The song and dance troupe wanted him, and she contacted the film company in that city.They figured it out, the couple can only have one theater troupe, and the other has to stay at home.Besides, the Beijing opera that she had learned before, she could only sing in the song and dance troupe, but she also sang in a Beijing accent.She gave him a career opportunity.For him, she is willing to sacrifice anything.Any sacrifice has become a great happiness for her.Since the county troupe is a collectively owned unit, it took more trouble to transfer to the song and dance troupe owned by the whole people.Slowly issued the commercial transfer order, and then slowly issued the transfer order, first his, then hers.There was a farewell party in the regiment, and friends helped to pack the luggage. There was only one night left, so the two of them spread a few straw thatch on the ground, which was used as a bed.Leaning on a pillow made of old newspapers, he imagined the new life that was about to unfold.The torment of transfer had worn away some of the freshness and enthusiasm, and what remained was trivial matters: the housing, the arrangement of the furniture, the children's school and kindergarten, and so on.After discussing that, he said: "If it weren't for you, I would never be able to make the adjustment." She also said: "If it were not for you, I would not be able to make the adjustment." Neither will succeed.After this struggle, they are more dependent on each other.They hugged each other and looked at the small window that had been taken down and improvised with an old newspaper.The moonlight illuminated the newspaper, and the words on the newspaper were pitch black.They seemed to hear the rustling sound of wind blowing leaves in the small miscellaneous forest behind the courtyard, and an erhu singing.Only then did they realize how difficult it is to give up here. Tomorrow, when the sun rose, they would leave here, the grove where so many memories were kept. Honeymoon is like drunk.Although she has been hanging out with boys for many years, she has never crossed the line of defense.Today, the entire line is evacuated, and I never thought that the restricted area was such a fascinating world.This is love, and this is what it feels like to be a woman.She has lived all these years in vain, spent all these years hanging out with boys, and been a woman for half her life in vain.While feeling the sharp pain, I felt the unforgettable joy, which is almost revealing the essence of love.It's like opening up a new world, a vast world.She has endless battlefields to display and enjoy.She can't use up her charms and enjoy her happiness.She can produce countless dear tricks, and the success of those tricks has given her infinite pride and pride.She thought it was a riddle that could be solved with one answer, but she didn't know that it was an endless series of riddles, one after another, one after another.There is a lot of wisdom here, as if a new and more vigorous source has been developed, the living water of life flows continuously, filling the whole body and mind.She was grateful to this man from the bottom of her heart, it was this man who destroyed her line of defense in time and gave her a taste of this happiness.If it is too early, the immature body and mind will naturally rise up to resist, if it is too late, the excessive anxiety will be too easy to fatigue, and it will not be able to fully enjoy this happiness.He was right at the time, when she was twenty-two, echoing her awakening.God loves her so much.The man was amazed how this woman had such a lively and bold life, so capable of appreciating happiness and giving him happiness.And full of inspiration, there are unexpected and ecstatic little tricks at any time.In that blazing love dream, both of them dropped their disguises and revealed their true feelings.He loved her so much that he wished he could eat her in one bite, almost crushing her bones.Her cry of pain and joy excited him even more.The whole year's hard work paid off, he thought excitedly.Even in his most emotional moments, he still has a cool head.He began to make plans for the next step, he wanted to tie the woman.He knew how hard it was to hold her down.However, a woman who is too easy to tie is so tasteless, unable to arouse enthusiasm and wisdom.He loves this disposition that is not easy to tie.He was one of those restless men with too much energy and talent.A scheming woman is an excellent outlet for this energy and talent.He may have to fight this struggle for the rest of his life.Thinking of this, he was very excited but also very calm.She is used to being free. She has been hanging out with boys since she was a child. Even if he is a god, he can't catch her alone.Therefore, he wants to give her freedom, which is just enough for her to enjoy and play, and it just keeps her from feeling boring.He knows that if she is loosened too much, she will run away; if she is tightened too tightly, she will struggle to run when she is uncomfortable. , is just right.He secretly drew a boundary for her in his heart, always grasping the scale.Letting her have as many boyfriends as in the past, many people like his woman, and this woman is the only one he has, is also a great pride.But only this woman belongs to him, and the love of many people is his pride. Therefore, he closely monitors and prevents any slightly excessive behavior from happening.And she, seeing that he is very magnanimous, felt that the man was very extraordinary, and she valued it more. Although she was a little restrained, she was still willing.What's more, I basically have the joys of being a girl when I was a child, and I also have the kind of happiness that girls can't get at home.She dresses up, she acts like a baby, she makes eye contact, he alone is almost worth dozens of spectators and opponents, and she lives with him contentedly and at ease.In the second year, a little boy was born.She could not tell whether she loved him or not.Hearing him cry makes me feel distressed, and seeing him smile makes me happy. He sucks her nipples, feeling numb in his heart, so he sprays him with endless milk. Can't help but kiss him.However, she still thinks he's falling down, she's not happy enough!The daughter's home has just been settled, and the new daughter-in-law has not done enough, and she is going to be a mother. She thinks it is too busy, so it is not impossible to let go.She didn't miss her mother-in-law for ten days, and her natal mother for half a month, she didn't miss her either.Looking at the pair of breasts stretched out by the milk, she was slightly worried, fearing that she would lose her good figure. At this time, she was like a ripe fruit, anyone who saw her wanted to pick it.Standing on the dried fruit counter every day, I have attracted so many idiots and bums.The man was very worried, so he said that the work was too hard and tiring, and he wanted to transfer her another job.Fortunately, he was doing organizational work, and he knew the local people very well, so it was not difficult to transfer a job.Soon, she took off her white coat and went to the Cultural Palace to report to work as a typist.The work in the Cultural Palace is leisurely and decent, and she doesn't have much to type every day, so she just knits sweaters.Although there is no longan to eat, I can dress beautifully and neatly all day long.The man asked his comrades in Shanghai to bring a bicycle with small wheels, which was bright red, with a small mirror in front and a small shiny basket, and she herself tied a little pink rabbit. .After work, I passed by the vegetable market, bought a handful of green celery, put it in a basket, and went all the way. It is the beauty of the city, but also the corruption of the city.They all look at her, feel a little ashamed after looking at her, and spit on her. After spit on her, they hate the inferiority complex in their hearts, and they don't know what the inferiority complex is. She doesn't ask these questions, she comes and goes beautifully and happily, just like the sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening. The momentum of the "Gang of Four" passed, and then the limelight of the song and dance troupe also passed.Only half a year after he transferred here, the song and dance troupe disbanded.It took a total of eight years from its establishment to its dissolution, which is not as long as the ten-year lifespan of the "Gang of Four".The members of the song and dance troupe were scattered in all directions, those with connections asked for themselves, and those without connections obeyed.Although he has no connections, his reputation as a cello player has gone out, and the Cultural Palace wants him.He then went to the Cultural Palace to work, specializing in mass literature and art. Sitting in the office, watching the movement of sunlight on the open space outside the window, he thought, it took so much trouble to transfer here, as if it was for this cultural palace.