Chapter 2 A tall and slender boy-2

Hunger, increasingly becoming invincible Then, he was admitted to the High School Attached to the Academy of Music, majoring in cello.Followed by a female teacher, man's hands, man's voice.Compared with her, he looks more like a woman.She pressed him on the chair and patted his waist with her hands, trying to make him sit up straight.He sat up straight, but her hand was still attached to his back, hot and seeping into his skin.He didn't dare to move, but he was a little happy in his heart. He liked that she was a woman, but she didn't look like a woman.She handed the qin to him and leaned on his lap.The violin slid straight down to the end, but she didn't allow him to grab it with her hands or pinch it with her knees. She only allowed his left fingers to lightly touch the neck and the back of the fingerboard.She had already told him what a violin neck was.The thumb is lightly against the neck of the piano, and the index finger, middle finger, ring finger, little finger, and a row of four fingers are gently placed on the fingerboard.Jean slipped down, and he didn't know how to stop it from going down.However, on the second, third, and fourth days, Qin gradually stopped slipping away.Nothing stopped it, everything was the same as before, but it didn't slip away anymore, it naturally leaned against his arms.Bow hairs glide over the strings.

His strings rang.Teachers and classmates all said that his timbre is exceptionally good, and they all watched him practice the piano, studying the angle and strength of his bow hair and strings.He himself is confused, he thinks everything is very natural, just like the wind blows and the water flows.He loves playing the piano very much, even if he plays the empty string, it is fun.He cherishes every sound that comes from the strings, as if the harp is speaking.He plays the violin, as if talking to it.Every question he asked had a corresponding echo, never disappointing.This is about all his secrets.Just as his classmates wondered him, he also wondered how they could play the violin for hours without saying anything and getting no response.He walked past other people's piano rooms, always frowning in boredom from the dull and empty sound of the piano.The teacher is proud of him, and the elder brother is also proud of him.

Every Sunday morning, he goes to his elder brother's house.The sister-in-law gave birth to a boy with a handsome appearance, and everyone said he looked like him when he was a child.He deducted the meal money given by his elder brother and bought a small tambourine, which he tied to his nephew's rocking bed. When the rocking bed was shaken, the tambourine would sing rustlingly.He loves his eldest brother and sister-in-law from the bottom of his heart, and this is his nephew, but he doesn't know how to express this emotion.At his elder brother's house, he was terribly cautious, his stomach was growling with hunger, but when he came to the dinner table, he lost his appetite at all.Seeing his sister-in-law filling up a plate full of good food, he even felt sick.But as soon as the dinner table was removed, I felt hungry again.He wanted to do some housework for his sister-in-law, but he didn't dare to do it.He pretended to go to the bathroom, locked himself in the bathroom for a long time, looked at the diapers in the basin and hesitated: wash or not?He really wanted to wash it, and it would be such a pleasure if he could wash the milk-scented diaper.But he was extremely afraid that the nanny who specialized in serving pregnant women would come to compete with him.He was determined not to be able to compete with her, and it would embarrass him to imagine competing for her like that.But how much he wanted to wash, he wanted to do a little thing to repay the kindness that the elder brother's family had given him.He struggled almost painfully.If it wasn't for someone knocking on the door to urge him to come out at this time, he would never be able to end this depression.

He was helplessly embarrassed in his dear elder brother's house, and was leaving after lunch, and no one could keep him.He left the alley where his elder brother lived as if he was running away, and he was relieved just now, but he was deeply sad.The happiness he had been looking forward to for a whole week ended like this, and the next round of hard thinking began again.The happiness he dreamed about day and night turned out to be an unbearable burden.He couldn't explain it all, he just felt very depressed, and when he was very depressed, he felt homesick. The big dark house at home, when you think about it, your eyes will be covered by darkness.In the depths of the darkness, a pair of eagle-like sharp eyes slowly emerged, piercing through the darkness and approaching him, he shivered unknowingly.For a moment, I felt so lonely and helpless, a heart full of warmth and affection, but I couldn't find a place to put it.For a whole holiday afternoon, he wandered on the bustling Huaihai Road.He desperately wanted to go back to school to practice the piano, but he couldn't bear the emptiness of the holiday school.Only an old man at the gate will definitely ask him: "Why did you go back to school so early?" He will have no words to answer.

The whole Huaihai Road is full of the smell of cream cake and powder, which is tangy and tantalizing.A little girl was walking towards him holding a stick of candy bent into the shape of a cane.Her expression was serene and dignified like a princess, and he couldn't help but give way to the side of the road.The sky here is awe-inspiringly blue, and the sun is so bright that it is menacing. He has lost the protection of the darkness he has been accustomed to since he was a child, and he is like a lonely boat in the vast ocean, always worried that he will be sunk.Although he had no destination, he walked quickly, as if he was chasing something, but also seemed to be escaping from something.After walking a few roads, he thought he should turn back, and was afraid that the sudden U-turn would arouse other suspicions, so he acted as if he suddenly remembered something, turned around, but felt guilty in his heart, for fear of being seen by others. flaw.He walked back and forth, his body was tired, and his spirit became more and more tense.

It was finally dark, and the pedestrians gradually thinned out; the street lights were still not on.He gradually calmed down, his steps slowed down, and he became calm.The twilight wrapped him like a warm veil, making him feel at ease and relaxed.It's time to go back to school.At this time, the school must be very lively, and the sound of the piano is intertwined.But he didn't want to go back.He loves this dark street, pedestrians become blurred, everyone is going back in a hurry, only he is at ease.As the twilight deepened, he almost felt drunk, forgot everything, and just walked around.

However, the lights suddenly turned on, the fluorescent lamps in the window, the street lamps among the leaves, and the neon lights on the signboards all lit up at the same instant.Turning night into day, this is a city that never sleeps.In this sudden light, he was stunned, and then he quickened his pace and ran towards the school. He ran straight into the piano room before he felt relieved.The piano is leaning on the chair, and the surface of the piano is shining gorgeously under the fluorescent lamp. There is a small city beside the Yangtze River. At the south end of the city there is a tall and gloomy house, and in the house sits a Buddha-like old man.It has a hooked nose and a pair of bright eyes like a falcon.In his life, he did almost three hundred and sixty lines, and finally built a firewood store.Later, the firewood company entered into a public-private joint venture. Before the joint venture, he only had time to build a house with high-quality wood.Then, all he had left was this wooden house and countless descendants.Every morning and every night, he will order his daughter-in-law to gather his children and grandchildren, gather at his feet, and look over it like a review.Say nothing, and don't allow anything to be said.After a long, long time, the bright eyeballs moved, and the daughter-in-law waved at the children, and in the blink of an eye, she retreated silently and like a ghost.

In his hand was a crutch with a dragon's head. Besides leaning on the ground, he also beat people.Don't beat your son, the son is the head of the family after him, you can't lose your dignity; beat your wife only, in order to set an example for your grandchildren, and give your son a wordless warning; hitting your woman is equivalent to hitting you, Although he is above everyone, he is still below one. When the daughter-in-law came in at the age of sixteen, her favorite thing was to listen to the steam whistle of the steamer on the pier by the river, which came from far, far away, or traveled far, far away.She waited quietly, waiting for the children to grow up so that they could be sent away.She sent away the older one and the second one.The eldest got married and started a business, but the second disappeared because of typhoid fever.Now, let San's go again.The third one was for the older one to take it hand in hand and take the train away, but she always felt that she was leaving from the pier by the river.It seems that only the Bailian-like Yangtze River can bring people out.

The whistle can be heard all over the city, whining. After the vigorous days of making steel, releasing satellites, and eating canteens, the days of famine came. This famine starved tens of thousands of people alive, and this famine forced everyone to tighten their belts.But there is an old man with falcon-like eyes, who is not prepared to accept any test of God's will. He still eats three meals a day, plus snacks.This task fell on the children and grandchildren, and the children and grandchildren finally had the opportunity to repay him for his care. The eldest brother sends more than double the money home every month, and can only give him the necessary food expenses.When he was growing bones, the bones protruded from the almost transparent skin, and his clothes and pants were all shrunk by two inches, exposing his sharp wrists and ankles.He felt hungry day and night, the fire of hunger burned him from within, and there was only one word left in his mind: "hungry".Only when he was practicing the piano could he forget about his hunger for a while, but within a few minutes the hunger would attack him in a different form.His head was sweating coldly, his fingers were trembling, his heart was beating so fast that he couldn't even press the strings to the bottom.The strings nearly cut his fingers, but couldn't touch the fretboard.He exerted his strength in vain, and was soon exhausted.

The eldest brother asked him to go back to have a meal every Sunday. The rice was accurately measured in two lunch boxes, steamed in a basket, and then the sister-in-law carefully divided it into two from the middle, half for each person.He and his eldest brother ate one box, and his sister-in-law and nephew ate one box.My nephew is already two years old, but he can eat better than any adult.Once, he actually poured a small pot of noodle soup into his stomach.This was the best meal he had in a week, but it whetted his appetite even more.He walked out of his eldest brother's house and walked on Huaihai Road, the smell of fragrant wind came violently, he couldn't restrain his greed, but he had to.With tears in his eyes, he walked through the scent of the cream, in such pain that he almost wanted to slam his head against the electric pole to death.But the telegraph pole was swaying in front of his eyes, and once he got close, it rose suddenly, like a sky, and he had no time to retreat.

In the dormitory, the students cursed, sighed, and even cried, talking about the various feelings of hunger in detail, and some recalled the delicious food they had eaten in the past, drawing cakes to satisfy their hunger.He couldn't hear it, so he covered his head with the quilt, blocked his ears with his fingers, tried his best not to listen, and tried his best to fall asleep.However, my stomach seemed to be going through a war, and my intestines were colic. The stomach suddenly swelled into a hollow, as if it was about to swallow everything, and then shrank into a tight ball, stuck in the chest like a solid.He didn't know why, but he remembered watching his mother washing pig fat intestines when he was a child. A long intestine was pushed upside down by the chopsticks.And his sight and hearing became unprecedentedly sharp, and the complaints of his classmates entered his ears word by word, arousing his endless desire.Spit welled up in his mouth, and he swallowed gulply, until he was so disgusted that he couldn't help but get angry.He hated them crying so loudly about their hunger, he hated their memories, shouts, and longings for delicious food.In fact, this is a kind of venting and resolution, just like howling when a person is beaten.Moreover, when everyone yells together, there will be a kind of comfort: it is not only yourself that is hungry.You are hungry, so is he, and everyone is hungry, so you feel calm.And he didn't understand that he was just fighting hunger alone.That struggle was extraordinarily difficult.He gritted his teeth, held his breath, and suppressed the hunger, and the hunger bit him even more cruelly. Once, at the eldest brother's house.The elder brother is reading a piano score, the elder sister is steaming rice, and the nephew is playing with building blocks on the small round table.He was building blocks, chewing biscuits in his mouth, chewing happily.There was another piece on the table, which belonged to my nephew.It was a rough black toy biscuit, in the shape of a car, with rounded and sunken lines, childishly outlining two fat wheels and a carriage. The biscuit was put into his mouth calmly.The scent of biscuits immediately filled his whole body, but it was fleeting, it was really too little.At this time, he just panicked, and his face turned pale.He stood up and was about to leave, but his eldest brother and sister-in-law called him, but without turning his head, he insisted that there was something to do, and walked out.He walked behind the big iron gate at the entrance of the alley next door and began to cry.He was so ashamed that he couldn't bear it, and he felt that he had been stained from then on.But he didn't understand what happened just now, it wasn't what he wanted to do at all, he wouldn't do something like that.However, the series of actions of reaching out to take the biscuit and putting it into the mouth are so clearly engraved in the memory, which can never be washed away.He fancied himself a dirty, dirty man, a thief.And, it can never be corrected anymore, time will not turn back.He wept bitterly, and all the tears he had accumulated over the past few days due to hunger, resentment, homesickness, and loneliness all flowed out at this moment.People in and out of the alley saw him crying, but they didn't mind. No one came to ask him, so he cried to his heart's content.When he returned to school, he took two meal tickets a day for one meal.His lips touched the hot porridge, and a happy shudder suddenly rose from the soles of his feet.He forgot the pain and immersed himself in the joy of eating.After he had eaten everything, he inexplicably felt a hopeless mood. He was so depressed that he was at a loss, and he didn't know what he was depressed about.Hunger, in fact, is like lust. Hunger is followed by happiness, and happiness is followed by discouragement.But he didn't understand this, he just felt very, very frustrated.At night, sleeping on the bed, he thought for a long time that he was no longer a clean person.He missed the past.The old days were so beautiful that even hunger was pure.But that's all over, he is a guilty person from now on, and he will spend his life bearing guilt.He felt that life was too long to live through. It was as if there was a gap in the dam, and the strength and tension he had mobilized to fight hunger began to relax.Hunger, becoming more and more invincible.One day, he picked up a few pieces of rotten copper on the school playground, took them to a waste collection station, sold them for a few cents, and then went to buy two crystal bags and ate them.The elastic rich and strong noodles, in the chewing of the teeth, almost have a fleshy pleasure. The lard melts, and the sweetness permeates the whole body. After eating, the happiness suddenly recedes and is replaced by a depressed mood.He vowed never to do such despicable things again, vowed to forget about it, to be a man again, to be a clean and good boy.He hid in a place where no one was around and cried, slapped his own mouth, bit his tongue, thinking that this life would be hard to change, and he was extremely desperate.But the fire of hunger rises again and again, it is so irresistible.Every onslaught of hunger since that incident had been irresistible to him.At this time, he forgot his shame, searched the corridors, playgrounds, and classrooms, and found some things that could be exchanged for money.When he took a pack of wires out of the school gate for the second time, his panicked expression caught the attention of the old gatekeeper and stopped him.Without a question or two from the old man, he confessed everything. He felt that the sky was covering his head straight down. He was pressed by the sky and sank straight into the ground. The ground was bottomless and deep, and he could not sink to the bottom. The elder brother is reading music in front of the piano, the elder sister is measuring and steaming rice, and the nephew is building blocks. The girls in Jingu Lane in the east of the city can speak, and they can sing ditties as soon as they can speak.Xiao Zui'er is very clever and can sing every word clearly: "Who messed with the blue hair on the head? Why is there one less pendant on the ear? Why is the official powder on the face wet? The rouge on the mouth, who will eat it? " The grown-ups laughed when they heard it: "Where did I hear the stilt tune? It's so lively!" After laughing, they curled their lips: They can sing this romantic tune at a young age, and they can sing it so passionately, what could it be? Where is the daughter of? Girls can't hear these things, and they only think that everyone praises her and likes her, so they love her wholeheartedly.Little people will pick out the patterns on the shoe uppers, and all they pick are pink flowers, which are so delicate that they can be blown away by a gust of wind.After choosing the good ones, she rushed her mother to embroider them, and then stepped on the new shoes to go out to show off.She doesn't walk like a child jumping around, but walks step by step, her little toes are slightly turned outward, and her heels are stepping on a straight line, walking like a sensible adult.All the children gathered around to look at her flower shoes, but she showed impatience, with her hands behind her back, leaning against the wall, squinting at the spider plant in front of someone's window. An uncle came to the alley of Shizi Road, carrying fruit and hawthorn wine.She recognized it from afar, and blushed with excitement, but kept her face and pretended not to see it.When he arrived in front of him, he was resentful and unhappy.When her uncle called her, she ignored him and told her to go home with him. She went reluctantly, but her heart was throbbing with joy.She has a lot of uncles, and every time she comes back, she never comes back empty-handed, and brings good things for her mother and her, such as velvet flowers, silk ribbons, red coats, and foreigners with moving eyes!She was so happy that she wanted to dance, so her mother glared at her and called her mean.When she looked at her mother, she always had a lazy expression on her face, and her uncle didn't like to give her things, and she was even scolded.But when the uncle left, my mother put the things in front of her and looked at them one by one, with a smile on her face.If my uncle didn't come for a long time, my mother would make a long face, vent her anger on her, beat her up like a sick person, and wait until my uncle came and passed by before she recovered.Gradually, she understood that her uncle's visit was indeed something to be happy about, but she couldn't show that happiness on her face, not only she couldn't show it on her face, but she also had to show displeasure, that was a noble thing to do. This time, my uncle brought her pink elastic socks from Shanghai, which can be long or short, big or small.After looking at the things, she felt relieved, grabbed a handful of melon seeds and ran out again.The small mouth is nimbly nibbling melon seeds, one melon seed goes in, and when it comes out, it becomes two neat halves, falling on the mottled gravel road.The tiny teeth cracked the melon seeds crisply.The children looked at her from a distance, and if they dared not surround her, the adults would not allow it!She doesn't pay much attention to these things, she only cares about cracking melon seeds clearly and crisply, "peeling and peeling", as if singing. Three hundred miles to the west, in the small miscellaneous woods, the erhu sang like weeping.