Chapter 3 Part 1 My Kindergarten

When I was five or six, I went to kindergarten.One day my mother said to my grandma: "This child still has to go to kindergarten, or he will not be able to adapt to elementary school in the future." After saying that, she ran out to inquire about which kindergarten still recruits students.In the words of grandma, she has always been like this, and every time she thinks about it, she always comes out.Soon my mother inquired about a kindergarten, which had just opened and was close to home.When my mother told my grandma, there was one sentence that made me wonder: it was run by two old girls.

It was already late when my mother took me to sign up, and the gate of the kindergarten was closed.When my mother knocked on the door, I looked in through the crack of the door: in a quiet yard, there were two brand new wooden horses under the eaves of a certain place.Two Trojan horses make my heart go wild.My mother asked me: "Do you want to come?" I nodded firmly.It was an old lady who opened the door, and she ushered us into a hut, where another old lady was cooking dinner.In addition to the two beds, there was only room for a table and a stove.My mother asked me to call the fatter one with glasses Mr. Sun, and the thinner one Mr. Su.

I have not understood for a long time, why only these two old ladies are called old maids?I asked my mother, "Why isn't grandma an old lady?" My mother said, "An old lady is an unmarried woman, and grandma was married." But I didn't accept this explanation in my heart.Getting married, but giving out a few pieces of candy to everyone will have any special effect?When I think about it, a woman is a girl when she is young, and an old lady when she is old. How can there be such a nondescript title as "old lady"?I asked my mother again: "Have you ever bought candy for everyone?" My mother said, "Why? Why should I buy candy for everyone?" "Then have you ever been married?" My mother laughed and pulled my ear: " Do I dare to have you without being married?" I became more and more confused, why did I get involved again?

This kindergarten is far from what I expected.There is even a family living in the four north houses, which is the landlord.The south room is empty.There are only classrooms on the east and west sides, except for a blackboard, there are no tables and chairs in the classroom, and the children have to bring their own small benches when they come every day.The small bench was high and low, and so were the twenty or so children, the oldest was seven years old and the youngest was three years old.During class, the big ones yelled and the little ones cried, and the teacher scolded one and coaxed the other, basically messing things up.Classes are always about storytelling. "Where did we talk last time?" The children replied in unison: "The big-grey-wolf-want-eat-little-goat-goat!" Already finished peeing.A story would be told on and off for days. "Where did you talk last time?"

After class, a swarm of bees rushed to grab the two wooden horses. You pushed and shoved each other, but no one could really ride on them.The older children then invented another game, "fighting on horseback": one on one's back, rushing, killing, and shouting loudly, the one who turned his back on his back was the loser.The two old ladies - let's call them according to my understanding - chased and shouted all over the yard in fear: "I don't like this, I don't like this, it's broken! It looks like I stepped on Grandma Liu's flower!" Liu Grandma, the landlord, wondered how she could tolerate having a kindergarten in her yard.But "fighting on horseback" is in full swing, and the flames of war have stopped here, and the flames of war have risen there.It was fun, but somehow, there were rules for punishing prisoners of war.Wouldn't it be cheap for a fallen man to be seen only as a defeated general?So you have to be knocked out, or even surrender to the enemy with people and horses.Thus there are traitors again, and more severe punishments for traitors.Once the traitor was caught, he was held down by two people and "paraded through the streets" with his hands behind his back, while his hair was pulled and his ears twisted along the way.God knows why this punishment is even more tempting than fighting on horseback. In the end, there is no need to fight on horseback, just play the game of punishment.But who is the punished?Then one or two leaders emerged, and they had the final say. Whoever they said was a traitor was a traitor, and whoever was a traitor would of course be punished.As a result, human nature was exposed at that time: in order to avoid punishment, everyone went to loyal to the one or two leaders, flattering, flattering, but more straightforward than adults.But!But the game must be played with a punished person.The dreadful day has finally arrived.Dreadful days, like growing age, are bound to come.

Being a traitor is far more terrifying than being a prisoner.Captives can still show loyalty and hope for the future, but traitors are completely hopeless, and suddenly everyone abandons you.When I was five or six years old, I had already seen the most helpless situation in the world.Your only prayer at this point is for those two old ladies to come and end this ridiculous game.But you will eventually find that this punishment does not end with their stop, this punishment spreads all the time, spreads to the faces and hearts of all children.Gentle but harsh refusal, like a monsoon, blowing silently from day to night dream, with no escape, nowhere to tell, and unknown origin, until it suddenly turns, like unpredictable weather, unpredictable Fate, let go of you suddenly, and turn around to play tricks on another child.

I no longer want to go to kindergarten.I dread the morning and look forward to the evening.I started to pretend to be sick, tried my best to stay at home with my grandma, and came up with various reasons not to go to kindergarten.Until now, when I see those children crying and shouting not to go to the kindergarten, I tremble in my heart, imagining that there are such terrible games in their kindergartens, and I feel ghosts wandering around in the clear and bright day. Kindergarten really did not leave a good impression on me.But those two old ladies are always in my memory, one is fatter and the other is thinner, both are so kind, both are so busy and flustered.They were afraid that some child would fall or damage the flowers of the landlord, Grandma Liu, so they were always worried.But apart from this kind of fear, I always feel that in their hearts, behind the imperceptible panic, there are other fears.What are the other fears?Can't tell, but it must be heavier.

When I grew up, I sometimes wondered about their parentage.They may be cousins, or they may just be best friends since childhood.They must have all been well educated—they were both good organ players, as evidenced by that.When I first arrived at the kindergarten, I always heard them make wishes to the children: "We are going to buy an organ, and the kindergarten will soon have an organ, and gradually the kindergarten will buy a lot of toys, children Are you happy?" "Gao-happy!" Not long before I left, the organ was bought back.The two old ladies regarded it as a treasure, gently carried it into the courtyard gate, polished it up and down, and placed it in the most conspicuous place in the classroom. The children gathered around and held their breath, and then Teacher Su I pushed each other with Mr. Sun, and then the children couldn't wait and started talking nonsense, and then Mr. Sun sat down solemnly in front of the organ, the children's encirclement became tighter and tighter, and then the piano sounded, and the children cheered , Teacher Su smiled and raised a finger: "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" It was listening to Teacher Su and Teacher Sun taking turns playing the piano and singing.Only then did I realize that they were indeed different from ordinary old ladies, with innocence emerging from every wrinkle on their faces.I can still hear that sound.Now, whenever I encounter innocent and pure things, the sound of the piano seems to float in strands. Before my eyes and in my heart, a piece of sunshine appears, beating like the keys of the piano.I think they must have grown up in a well-educated family.I think their parents must be gentle and considerate.They grew up amidst the sound of the piano. Although there were occasional light winds and drizzles, the weather was always sunny.It is impossible for such a woman not to hold sacred expectations for love when she is young, and it is even inevitable that she will be extreme and unfashionable.They secretly described the future, and said some blushing words to each other.The so-called future is mainly a man who is about to come to them from nowhere.This person has revealed his clues in the book, looming in the well-decorated literary classics.It won't be the son-in-law in romance novels.It could be, say, a Tolstoy character.But definitely not Vronsky or Karenin.However, the description of the future is always unclear, and the constant description consumes their youth year after year.In the words of the "revolutionary people": They are really the extreme "little bourgeois", who dreamed of petty bourgeois warmth isolated from the world in that turbulent era.It probably will be.Maybe that's it.Suppose it is so, but suddenly!Suddenly society has changed drastically.It's hard to imagine exactly how that change invaded their lives, but I guess there is nothing too special about it. Like all decaying middle-class families, the ladies are terrified and wide-eyed and realize that they have to live. Another day.Ups and downs, relatives and friends, frugality, drifting with the current, like experiencing ups and downs and heat on a sea that has lost its direction... Then, one day the situation seems to be stable, but the future is obviously no longer as willful as before.The past descriptions are like a stack of carefully preserved old banknotes. Although they are no longer useful, they are reluctant to throw them away for a while. It was probably at that time that celibacy turned from helplessness to firmness.They all still have some valuable things in their collection, but there are not many of them all together, and they can't figure out any perfect solution after calculation, but they know that their future life depends entirely on this.In this way, the harsh reality combined with the romance of the past, and finally an idea: let's start a kindergarten.Innocent children are inspiration, confidence and joy.Kindergarten?Yes, kindergarten!Do not contend with the world, live in poverty, and devote the rest of your life to watering the future that does not belong to us, does it?The two old girls seem to have finally found their homeland. After more than half a century of cloud cover, they finally heard the generous promise of fate.Then they rented a house, painted it briefly, bought two blackboards and a pair of wooden horses, and the rest will be discussed later, of course it is a matter of money...

When I was about to graduate from elementary school, I went back to the kindergarten to visit it.Sure enough, there are swivel chairs, slides, and climbing frames. The classrooms are fully equipped with tables and chairs, and there are several times more children than before.The home of the landlord, Grandma Liu, has moved out.A young female teacher played the organ on the porch of the north room, and the children rehearsed in the yard to the sound of the piano.A south room was converted into a kitchen, and the children can eat in the kindergarten.The young female teacher asked me, "Who are you looking for?" I said, "Where are Teacher Su and Teacher Sun?" His origin and class composition are not suitable for educational work.Later, the "Cultural Revolution" began, and I heard that they were all sent back to their original places.

When the "Cultural Revolution" reached its end, one day I ran into Mr. Sun on the street.Her hair was a little disheveled, and she walked with her eyes straight, still in a hurry and flustered.I called her, and she stopped, looking at me blankly.I said my name, "You don't remember me?" Her face was dead, and after a long time, she suddenly came back to life: "Ah, it's you, oh, oh, I really wronged you that time. I pretended to be surprised: "Wronged? Me?" In fact, I already knew what she was referring to. "But you didn't come after that. Teacher Su told me that this really hurt the child's heart, didn't it?"

That was shortly before I entered elementary school.In front of the door of the East Room classroom, a group of children rushed in, while another group resisted the door and refused to let in. It was just a game for no reason.I was among the crowd about to rush in, and I pushed the door hard, and suddenly my fingers were pressed against the crack of the door. In extreme pain, I kicked the door open with all my strength, and unexpectedly knocked a girl onto her back.The girl had a bloody nose, a bump on her head, and kept crying.Teacher Su came over to coax her and at the same time punished me for standing still.I stood in front of the window watching other children in class, feeling wronged, so I used a crayon to scribble on the window lattice pasted with white paper, drawing an old lady, and marked the word "Su" next to it.When Mr. Su found out, the snow-white window lattices were covered with old ladies and "Sus".Teacher Su's lips trembled, and she could only say one sentence: "That's because Teacher Sun and I have been confused for several days..." After that, I bid farewell to the kindergarten, the reason is that I will go to elementary school soon, in fact, I dare not see the window lattice again. Teacher Sun hasn't changed much, but his hair has turned gray, and his former kindness has also merged into panic.I asked: "Where is Teacher Su, how is she?" Teacher Sun looked up at the top of my head, guessed my age, and then said softly to me in the tone of an adult: "We are all married, everyone is busy People’s home.” I thought it was inappropriate for me to ask further because of my age, but since then I often thought, what kind of man and what kind of family would that be?For example, is it in line with their early expectations?Can the piano sound like the sun be in harmony?