Chapter 40 Chapter 82

The train was approaching, and Shen Li standing on the platform felt a psychological toll.Today, she and a group of Lu Xiaolong’s classmates went to Beijing Station to welcome Lu Xiaolong back to Beijing. Beijing, which has just entered winter, is already very desolate and cold. dangling in the middle. Huang Hai's father was persecuted to death in the early days of the Cultural Revolution for crimes against Lin Biao. After Lin Biao fell to his death in Undur Khan, he was very excited and finally got in touch with Lu Xiaolong who was wandering in the rural areas of Shanxi and Shaanxi provinces. The change in the political situation notified Lu Xiaolong and asked him to come back to participate in a new revolution.For this reason, Huang Hai specially summoned more than a dozen Red Guards from Beiqing Middle School to greet him grandly at the station, and he also specially notified Shen Li.When Shen Li received the notice, she was both surprised and kind. She came to Beijing Railway Station with them with mixed emotions.Her heart was like a pot of raw rice, or rice mixed with a lot of sand and stones, and a feeling of anxiety dominated her all day long.The platform was very deserted, there were not many people to meet the station, the dirty wind blew across the platform, a few pieces of torn white paper rolled casually on the ground, a man wearing a gray-white sheepskin coat like steamer cloth walked with his hands behind his back To and fro, like a dead man just out of the morgue.

The wind blows and blows even colder. It is an uneven cold, like a wind team made up of strands of hot and cold air.Looking in the direction of the train, the place where the concrete platform was interrupted was the direction where the rail continued to extend. It was soon covered by a broken wall, and there was no distant view. Before he arrived, his father asked with great concern: "Who are you going to pick up? Lu Xiaolong? Is he still alive?" The mother who was knitting a sweater glanced at her while skillfully reversing the stitches, and said, "You The relationship with her parents can also be a little lighter." She had a helpless and numb reaction to her parents' attitude. She didn't think there was anything wrong with her parents, but she didn't want them to interfere with her.When she met Huang Hai and others at the station, the group politely regarded her as a necessary member to welcome Lu Xiaolong. Apart from feeling their friendship towards her, she also felt an unreasonable restraint.

It has been two years since I met Lu Xiaolong, everything I have ever had is like a distant and desolate story.The scene of our first acquaintance five years ago is already like a memory of my childhood.Going to Chongming Island and Baiyangdian together is like a folktale read in a book.Over the past year, Lu Xiaolong, who was on the road, sent thick letters from time to time, recording his experiences like a diary. From those papers, she often smelled the smell of the kang, the smell of the oil lamp, and the smell of the dry pipe.Sitting under the lamplight of the writing desk, she would dream of a boy named Lu Xiaolong running around in the impoverished countryside in a trance.

Being in Kyoto, she sometimes lost her understanding of this kind of story, which was epic and remote.Like looking at some woodcuts and paper-cuts with simple colors, they are just decorations that have nothing to do with your living space. Although it is an amazing art, it is only pasted on the wall and cannot exist in life. Huang Hai was a little brighter than when he saw it two years ago, and the bad luck on his face was less. He was wearing an old military uniform that had been washed white, and he was kicking his feet to avoid the cold wind that hit the ground, and he had a long and short conversation with Tian Xiaoli .Tian Xiaoli became even more handsome, his plump little face was rosy, his eyes were watery, and his military uniform looked more vibrant.Hua Jun looked old in the past, and she hasn't changed much now. She stood there in a military uniform, turning her feet from left to right, as if she was avoiding the cold, but in fact it was just to make herself more fulfilling and natural among the crowd.Although Shen Li is still aware of her beauty, one or two men passing by on the platform from time to time will inevitably cast their eyes on her. However, at the age of twenty-five and approaching thirty, she is obviously very interested in all these things. Be more at ease.

She is wearing a light blue woolen coat today. When she stands there tall and slender, she can feel that her body is becoming more and more mature, like a piece of land. It used to be fluffy and younger, but now it is wet more plump.Maybe I haven't gained weight, but I feel that my waist, buttocks and thighs are smoother with oil, and the skin on my sides seems to be looser than before. The land is wasted, it is time to restrain, and the youth should be used sparingly. Huang Hai suddenly shouted: "The train is coming." The loudspeaker on the platform also reported: "The train is about to enter the station." The long train, finally, the train finally drove over with full momentum, bringing the enrichment of welcoming and sending to the empty platform.People waiting on the platform stretched their necks, watching a train of cars and windows passing by.Huang Hai and the others scanned the carriages and the windows. A group of people ran to the front of the car and to the rear of the car, running back and forth to search.Shen Li stood there reservedly and didn't move. Seeing the train stop firmly in front of her, she looked around and felt that the train was wrapped around her neck like a long scarf. She was waiting for the story to develop naturally.Seeing Huang Hai and the others running around excitedly, she felt hesitation in her heart.It's not that she has no expectations for the male protagonist who will appear. However, there seems to be an avoidance in her heart that she dare not face up to, and she can't grasp her current attitude.When Huang Hai was still running and scanning in front of the carriages one by one, she felt that these people were like water in a fountain spreading in all directions, and she was still standing at the mouth of the fountain, hesitating.

There are always some coincidences in the world, she can't run, but she sees Lu Xiaolong coming down from the oncoming carriage.He got out of the car and looked around.Shen Li noticed at a glance that Lu Xiaolong had become dark and thin, wearing dirty and worn-out blue clothes and a bulging black padded jacket. Although his eyes were still bright, his expression seemed a little decayed.Seeing Shen Li, he blinked in surprise and strode over.When he opened his mouth to smile, there was an opening in the middle of his chapped lips, and Shen Li saw very strikingly that he was missing two front teeth.It may also be that the clothes on his body are too sloppy, he is a little stooped, and his stature seems to be even shorter.Standing close to each other, the two of them saw his hair sprung up in patchy lengths. He had obviously not had a haircut in months, and for the first time noticed that he had grown a slight beard on his cheeks.At this moment, Shen Li felt that it was too extravagant for her to come here wearing a woolen coat, and she also felt that it was too stiff for her to stand here clean and straight with her hands in the coat pockets. She smiled affectionately, and pointed to the The people who ran said: "Look, so many people have come to pick you up." Lu Xiaolong smiled, revealing the black hole lacking front teeth again, and said, "Huang Hai brought you here, right? He really can mobilize people." Shen Li said: "Welcome the suffering hero to return in victory." Lu Xiaolong stroked the satchel strap on his shoulder, picked up the broken travel bag in his hand, and was about to speak when Huang Hai and others rushed over, slapping him twice. After receiving the things from him, a group of people surrounded him with beatings and beatings, and after making out for a while, they walked out of the station lively.

While talking and laughing affectionately with Huang Hai and the others, Lu Xiaolong glanced at Shen Li from time to time.Those eyes are as young as before, sometimes frankly like a self-righteous child, the skin is dark, and the shape of the forehead is still the same.Shen Li was surprised to find that a little white hair had appeared on Lu Xiaolong's head, squinting his eyes and thinking of his running around in the backcountry, coming and going in the wind and rain, it was easy to understand.A group of people, like feces pulled out by the anus of the station, swarmed from the exit to the square in front of the station. This place is overcrowded all year round, full of crowded passengers, and the shops on the opposite road are dimly lit.Huang Hai said: "Today we must have a good get-together and have a meal, which can be regarded as a welcome for Lu Xiaolong."

All the talents realize that it is already evening.Shen Li followed the long-lost crowd into a small restaurant in front of the station, and the waiter wearing a white apron with greasy faces arranged them beside two greasy square tables.A group of people sat down talking and laughing, ordered some dishes, ordered a few bottles of beer, and poured them into the glasses noisily. It was very inconvenient, and the two square tables were bustlingly put together, and there were about twenty people sitting around the long table, and Lu Xiaolong enjoyed the glory of returning from wandering surrounded by everyone.

There was no one else in the small restaurant. When the waiter came to the kitchen to make arrangements, a group of people started chatting, and the topics all revolved around the political situation.Lin Biao fell to his death in Outer Mongolia, which caused a violent shock to China's political situation. This shock has expanded layer by layer and has spread to the entire party, the entire army, and the whole country.In Huang Hai's words: "Lu Xiaolong, it's time for us to do it again." Lu Xiaolong examined the changes in the situation in his mind, and his thoughtful eyes seemed to have entered the concept of "taking risks" again. I am very satisfied with the changes in the situation today, and I am also very satisfied with the welcome I have received.After listening to people's comments, he said: "We need to look at the Cultural Revolution with new eyes, and dare to doubt everything." Very loyal.

Shen Li was arranged next to Lu Xiaolong in a caring manner. She somehow felt that she was a little separated from the table of wine and food and the people around the table, like a duck running into the chickens, and like a swan running into the cat group.She is still interested in the stories she read, but this story is only like the wild jujube thorns and wild flowers seen beside the loess cliff, which is far away from her. Lu Xiaolong's body was filled with the smell of rolling on the rural kang, probably because he was too hot to eat. He untied the gray and blue cloth jacket outside, and untied the black padded jacket worn by farmers inside, revealing a dirty and wrinkled clothes. The collar button and the two or three buttons below the collar have all been peeled off, revealing her barren chest. A strong body odor emerges from the unbuttoned clothes, reminding her of a trip to the countryside when she was in middle school. To labor, to see the smell of smoke and fire as it rises from a chimney freshly made of wet mud, which gradually dries in the process of giving off this smell and vapor.Now, this smell is constantly suffocating her, making her think about the stories in the mountain village written by Lu Xiaolong's letter.

Lu Xiaolong is now sitting there very calmly and with a sense of character, as if he is making a decision to determine the fate of China, looking through the smoke on the dining table to gain insight into everything.Shen Li kept scanning his barren chest and neck that was slack due to the wind and rain. Thinking of the contact and combination of her smooth and plump body with this body, she felt extremely uncomfortable physically.It seems that a very moist wool sweater has been ironed by a rough and uneven iron, leaving a faint memory of injury.The roof of the small restaurant is not high, and there are windows near the street. You can see wandering pedestrians, bicycles and cars on the road, and you can see the clock tower of Beijing Railway Station if you look diagonally.Huang Hai was holding the vegetables bravely, while gesticulating and speaking, his round head was as flexible as a rattle, and his glasses were shining. He was talking excitedly, with one foot on the stool, as if he was turning his hands into clouds Hands for the style of the rain.Tian Xiaoli sat across from Huang Hai, looked at Huang Hai with a smile, and occasionally turned his gaze to Lu Xiaolong.Lu Xiaolong had been listening thoughtfully to everyone's high-spirited discussions, and finally, like the leader presiding over the meeting, he said a few words calmly, "We must study Chinese society as soon as possible. Recently, we must find a way to make Beijing think All of my contemporaries gathered together to hold various seminars. Everyone had to split up to collect relevant materials, some books about the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe, and various books on socialism in the world, and then find a few sets of " The Complete Works of Marx and Engels" and "The Complete Works of Lenin". You need to read some books and make an analysis of the various classes in Chinese society today." The fighting mood of a group of people, "the mountain is about to come and the wind is full of wind", reminds Shen Li of the history of their establishment of the Red Guards more than five years ago.Finally, after finishing his meal eagerly, Huang Hai rolled up his sleeves up to his forearm, waved to Lu Xiaolong and said, "Now it's time for you to come out and be the student leader again." Tian Xiaoli pointed to Lu Xiaolong and said eagerly: "It's time again Let's do it, you hurry up and come up with a strategic policy. Lin Liguo will carry out the '571 Project', let's make up some kind of project." Hua Jun has been looking at Lu Xiaolong with his flushed face, and said to Lu Xiaolong very seriously at this time "History needs you to stand up again." Tian Xiaoli said: "When I heard that Lin Biao fell to his death, the first thing Huang Hai thought of was to find you." Huang Hai still stepped on the stool and rolled up his sleeves "I found you through Shen Li." Lu Xiaolong turned his head, and Shen Li lowered her eyes and put a smile on her face, which was regarded as a welcome to everyone's eyes. When a group of people buttoned up and wiped their sweat, they rushed out of the small restaurant with a strong atmosphere. When the cold wind blew, the mood became calmer. Once the strong atmosphere was distributed into a larger space, it would naturally be diluted.People came to Chang'an Avenue noisily, some went west and some went east.Huang Hai, Tian Xiaoli, Hua Jun, Lu Xiaolong, and Shen Li were all going west. Huang Hai said to Lu Xiaolong and Shen Li very thoughtfully: "You two just slip away and go in the direction of Tiananmen Square. Let's go by bicycle. Tiananmen is waiting for you, and then we will see what you two mean." Lu Xiaolong said, "What do you mean by looking at the two of us?" Huang Hai said, "If Shen Li can arrange for you to stay, we will let you go. If Shen Li It’s not easy to arrange, so you can go to my house. I’ll give you some time to talk first.” Shen Li smiled naturally and didn’t say anything. Lu Xiaolong said, “Okay, let’s go for a walk first.” Huang Hai took a picture. He patted the travel bag on the back seat of the bicycle and the canvas satchel hanging on the handlebar, and said to Lu Xiaolong: "I will hold your things for you, and we will wait for you in front of the Tiananmen Monument." Tian Xiaoli said: "Three years ago we That’s where I sent you to the countryside.” Lu Xiaolong smiled and said, “Revisit the old place.” Several people from Huang Hai got on their bicycles and walked away under the lights of Chang'an Avenue. Shen Li and Lu Xiaolong walked slowly along the sidewalk of Chang'an Avenue.The cold wind that had just entered the winter blew past the ground, Shen Li walked gracefully with her hands in her coat pockets, and heard the crisp sound of her plastic-soled cloth shoes on the street.She found that Lu Xiaolong seemed to be not very good at walking on the main road anymore. Although he tried his best to slow down, he still couldn't walk step by step. Maybe it was because the trouser legs were too wrinkled and a pair of sneakers were too soft, which made him look like he was walking on the road. Short Legs.She tried her best to break free from these uncomfortable feelings, and she didn't want these uncomfortable feelings to cause self-condemnation. She asked: "Are you going back to the countryside?" Lu Xiaolong tried his best to adapt to the melody of walking on the streets of Beijing, Kick out the calves one by one, and gently vibrate the knees, so that each step gradually comes out of a calm and clear rhythm. He replied: "I won't go back, the life in the countryside is over here, and I will return to politics." Shen Li asked thoughtfully: "Then I will live in Beijing forever?" Lu Xiaolong said: "I haven't thought about it in the long run. , You must be in Beijing for the next two years, this is the political center, and it is meaningful to be active here." Lu Xiaolong was silent for a while, and asked: "Have you received all my letters?" Shen Li nodded and said, "It seems that only one letter has not been received." The letters sent to Shen Li were all numbered in order: the first letter, the second letter, the third letter, and so on. Only one letter was missing from Shen Li's receipt.Lu Xiaolong asked: "Do you think those letters are interesting?" Shen Li said: "Of course they are interesting." Lu Xiaolong said: "I don't know how to write novels, otherwise, this year's life can really write the best Novel." Shen Li nodded thoughtfully and said: "Yes." Lu Xiaolong said again: "Do you still remember the little girl Erni in Guojialing I wrote in the letter?" Shen Li said: "Yes." Lu Xiaolong sighed Said: "It will be very difficult for me to have the opportunity to go back to see her again in my life. Maybe it's just a good memory." Shen Li said: "With the little girl, it can be regarded as a good memory. I once had you Such a person has cherished her." Lu Xiaolong continued to sigh: "I really have a chance in the future. If I go to see her again, she may not be there anymore." Shen Li said: "It is possible. Just like when the Cultural Revolution started, you were forced to work. It’s the same as the little white cat when the group was locked up.” Lu Xiaolong said: “Yes. I went to the warehouse area to look for it, but I never found it.” Lu Xiaolong talked about Lu Minmin’s experience again, Shen Li asked: "How is she now?" Lu Xiaolong said: "I don't know what happened this year, and I dare not have any contact with Liu Bao." Shen Li stopped talking, for some reason, these stories reminded her of The relationship between himself and Lu Xiaolong. After a while, Lu Xiaolong asked: "Are you still working at the CPPCC?" Shen Li nodded.Lu Xiaolong asked again: "Do you still play the piano every day?" Shen Li said: "Sometimes you play, sometimes you don't." Lu Xiaolong asked again: "Does your cousin Shen Xia still come here often?" Shen Li turned her head to look at Lu Xiaolong, turned her gaze and said: "Sometimes." Lu Xiaolong asked repeatedly: "Often?" Shen Li thought for a while and said, "No more, no less." Both of them fell silent, hearing the soft rubbing sound of Lu Xiaolong's sneakers landing, and the crisp sound of Shen Li's plastic-soled cloth shoes.Lu Xiaolong asked: "How are your parents?" Shen Li said: "It's okay, but I'm getting older, and it's not as convenient as it used to be." Lu Xiaolong thought for a while, then asked: "In the past two years, how have you treated them?" Did you mention me?" Shen Li said: "Of course I did." Lu Xiaolong asked: "How often?" Shen Li said: "Not often." Lu Xiaolong was silent for a while, then asked: "They know me Have you been wandering outside all year?" Shen Li said, "I know a little bit." Lu Xiaolong said: "Do they often ask me?" Shen Li chose the words to answer, and said: "I told them." Lu Xiaolong was silent, and Shen Li was also silent. After walking in this way for a while, the two talked about other topics.Lu Xiaolong asked: "Did you miss me these two years?" Shen Li said: "I still think about it." Lu Xiaolong asked: "What do you think?" Shen Li said: "I think about your situation and what you are doing." Lu Xiaolong Xiaolong glanced at Shen Li and asked, "Do you think about it emotionally?" Shen Li squinted her eyes and hesitated for a while, then shook her hair, as if she had shaken off her hesitation, and said frankly, "Don't ask me that, okay?" ? I don’t want people to question me like interrogating me.” Lu Xiaolong stopped suddenly, and Shen Li also stopped. Lu Xiaolong looked at Shen Li and said, “I’ve always missed you, you know?” Shen Li looked at Lu Xiaolong, lowered her eyes and sighed in her heart, she couldn't stand such a conversation, she said: "You still don't talk to me like this, I like your kind of conversation that makes me feel relaxed. "Lu Xiaolong said: "Okay, I announce that I won't talk like this. After wandering for a year, I found that I can't even walk on the road." He scratched the back of his neck and smiled, and Shen Li also smiled. up. In front was Tiananmen Square, Lu Xiaolong's eyes widened, and he said to Shen Li: "I found you are the most untouchable girl." Shen Li asked with a polite smile: "What do you mean?" Lu Xiaolong said : "You have a strong personality, and you don't want to accept things imposed on you at all." Shen Li said: "That's possible." Lu Xiaolong said: "I promise I won't ask that kind of thing again, it's stupid to ask that." Shen Li didn't speak, but Lu Xiaolong waved his hand and said, "I've already let you read the first round of stories. Next, I'll let you read a more exciting round of stories." Shen Li glanced at Lu Xiaolong attentively. , said: "Is it more exciting than the story at the beginning of the Cultural Revolution?" Lu Xiaolong looked at the dimly lit Tiananmen Square with full confidence, and replied: "That's for sure." He suddenly thought of something and asked: "They are looking for Have you been transferred outside—about the anti-Lin Biao meeting that we went to Beihang University to participate in?" Shen Li said: "They went to the agency to look for me once, and left after asking a few questions, and they didn't take it seriously." There was a faint smile on Lu Xiaolong's face, he would not tell Shen Li that in order to keep the secret that she went with him, he had suffered a lot of beatings. Lu Xiaolong somewhat felt the disappointment of meeting Shen Li today, however, his political self-confidence made him full of vitality. He said to Shen Li: "A bigger revolution will happen in China." At this time, they had already When they came to the Heroes Monument in the center of Tiananmen Square, Huang Hai, Tian Xiaoli and Hua Jun were waiting there with their bicycles on their backs.Huang Hai smiled and asked: "Is the talk over?" Lu Xiaolong seemed very happy to answer: "The talk is over." Tian Xiaoli glanced at Shen Li, and asked humorously: "Have the talk been enough?" Xiaolong looked back at Shen Li, and said jokingly, "How can you say enough talk? It's far from enough." Shen Li smiled cooperatively.Huang Hai patted the bicycle seat hard, looked at Shen Li and said: "Specific question, where does Lu Xiaolong live tonight?" Shen Li looked at Lu Xiaolong, Lu Xiaolong said to Huang Hai: "I'd better go to live with you." Huang Hai and others sent Shen Li to the bus, then rode on the bus, carried Lu Xiaolong on it, and flew forward. When the bus Shen Li was sitting on caught up with them, they raised their hands and waved to Shen Li who was sitting next to the window. Shen Li also waved to them. When Shen Li returned home, Shen Xia was talking to her parents, as if she was about to say goodbye.Seeing her coming back, her father greeted her immediately: "Shen Xia came before dinner, and he is about to leave now. You can send him out of Xiyuan." Shen Li said wearily: "I'm a little tired." Shen Xia said: "I won't see you off today." Mother said: "Shen Xia wanted to leave a long time ago, we asked him to wait a little longer and see you." Shen Xia smiled gently and said: "I have no other I just brought the score of the Tchaikovsky symphony you asked for." He pointed to the score on the table: "I'm leaving now." Shen Li sent Shen Xia out of the house and closed the door. He came to the door and walked back a little tired.Her parents looked at her with concern, and her father asked, "How is Lu Xiaolong?" Shen Li lowered her eyes and thought for a while, and said, "It's good." Then, she walked upstairs wearily step by step.