Chapter 2 11-20

11 Yuan Xiaochen put down the phone, said "I'm sorry" to me, and smiled. I said to her seriously in English: "You know, I have been unable to take care of myself in my sex life. You know, I am very worried that this will bring trouble to the society." Then, I gave her a meaningful look and emphasized my tone. "Bringing a lot of trouble . " I glanced at her pretended surprise expression, then scratched her hair with my hands, made a distressed look, and continued to say in English: "Aren't you worried about me?" Her eyes rolled around twice, seeing that I was still looking at her seriously, she quickly shook her head and answered me in English: "I'm not worried."

"Then," my expression became stern, and I spoke English more slowly, "let me remind you, maybe, maybe, the first victim is—you." She tapped the table with a small steel spoon, cleared her throat, and said in Chinese: "Have you used up all the English words you have learned?" I nodded: "That's enough, I'm waiting for your concluding remarks." "My statement is - you are deep, but I have a friend in a mental hospital, do you need my help?" "I need it, I need it very much. As for your friend, I hope he will stay in the mental hospital. I think it is very good there. Anyway, he can still be a patient when he is tired of being a doctor."

"you--" "I don't want his help, I just want your help." "What do you need my help with?" So I said in English, "You know, I've never been able to take care of myself sexually, and you know, you can't either, but if we both work together—" "Bah! Don't worry, I can take care of myself." "You know, the Bible says there are some bad habits from childhood—" "Pooh!" "Well, I think the Bible might be wrong." She laughed again. I leaned forward, got closer to her, and whispered mysteriously: "How did you get rid of that ulterior bad habit? Tell me, I believe it will inspire me."

"You—hate." "Please don't describe me as disgusting, because I have been heartbroken by you, please don't be like this in the future?" She laughed again: "You've watched too many DVDs, don't you speak with a pirate accent?" I leaned closer to her again: "If you really hate me, don't say so, don't pay the bill, then pat your ass and leave—don't pat me!" She pretended to stand up to leave, but sat down again when she heard my last sentence. "Are you going to choose to pay the bill?" "I don't choose."

"Then you choose—" "Say it again!" She pretended to stare at me viciously, "I'll strangle you to death with my eyeballs!" "Actually, what I really want to say is that I have never found a girl as ugly as you to be my girlfriend. I can't help but feel itchy and want to try it. Please give me a chance, please?" She froze for a moment, then smiled and said, "You're so mad at me, call your mother and tell me to file a complaint." "Only when you become my girlfriend can you get close to my mother for me. Not now." "What's the benefit of being your girlfriend?"

"When I dumped you to hang around outside, I allowed you to use the worst words to scold me behind my back." "What kind of benefit is this?" She was amused by me, and I took the opportunity to approach her, "Where shall we go before we send you home?" 12 We went to my house. After entering the door, Yuan Xiaochen changed into a pair of slippers, and then carried her shoulders, turned left and right in my room, and I introduced to her one by one: "This is the study, this is the kitchen, and this is the toilet." "Here?" She pushed a closed door.

I twisted the doorknob and let the door open: "This is the gun room." Yuan Xiaochen frowned and said to me seriously: "Please pay attention to using polite language, especially in front of a decent person like me." I was about to say something, but she added another sentence: "You are too much, but I am not a serious person." "I didn't see that." I put my hands in my trouser pockets and said with a smile. "I'm thirsty and want a drink of water." "What are you doing after drinking?" "I'll scold you a few words."

"Then I'll drink glue for you to stick your mouth shut." "Stick my mouth?" She opened her eyes and looked surprised. "I didn't scold you with obscene words, I just said the usual meaning." I explained something like this, because I remembered that when we talked before, Yuan Xiaochen and his group of girls used to call men's semen glue. "But obscene thoughts keep running through my mind." "I'm just like everybody else in this, but I'm not so obscene as to open my mouth and invite you into my gun room." "Can I go in by myself?" Yuan Xiaochen smiled.

13 She went in by herself. I can attest to that. The scene after that was a scene of passion, but that kind of passion is kind of nasty, so it's better not to say it. Anyway, since then, she has been with me, To satisfy our vanity when we were together, we also gave our relationship an apt-sounding name — Friends With Benefits.The name sounds vulgar and obscene, but when people ask, it is quite straightforward to say it, and it conveys the most important information to others without ambiguity. Not only that, but it also has the advantage of making others I mistakenly thought that I was very chic, and didn't take this relationship very seriously.Yuan Xiaochen himself sometimes further explained to others, "We are pure friends with benefits, he has never spent any money on me, hey, idiot, what is the most expensive gift you gave me?"

"A pair of leather shoes cost more than eight hundred." "How much did you pay for it?" "Twenty percent off, one hundred and eighty." "Look, it's the pair I'm wearing now." Generally speaking, Yuan Xiaochen would stick his feet out from under the table for everyone to see.If she met a more familiar friend, she would point to me and express her feelings: "Look, he just fooled the little whore like this, it's really not up to standard, come on, you." 14 Three years ago, I entered a state of ignorance. I think it is not easy to enter this state. It needs a kind of spiritual foreshadowing. This kind of foreshadowing is very complicated, and I can’t explain a sentence or two clearly. For example Let’s just say, when I was young, I didn’t know what the so-called “good” was all about. I just thought that being good was a fantasy born from the word happiness. I found that what everyone thinks is "good" is a kind of good,

But the "good" of all people added together becomes a hodgepodge of contradictory beliefs, and as time goes by, I have a more terrible doubt, that is, even the "bad" can also be confused. Can't figure it out, it's a direct consequence of my reading of history books, human history messing with my head, and I have to say, after knowing a lot of things that happened to other people, I'm completely complete about my personal life This pursuit is hopeless. It is well said in history books that people cannot transcend the cultural and historical environment to which they belong. The profoundness of this sentence made me realize a crucial little truth: I myself cannot Go beyond the environment!That is to say, I myself can neither be better than the environment I am in, nor can I be worse. If I am in the middle, I will be eliminated by the environment sadly.So I decided to show my housekeeping skills, which is to go with the flow - not too noble, not too mean, not too rich, not too poor, not too good, not too evil, not too ideal, not too ideal In reality, you can't be too indulgent, you can't be too abstinent, you can't be too honest, you can't be too cunning, you can't be too clean, you can't be too dirty, you can't be too fashionable, you can't be too vulgar, you can't be too famous, you can't be unknown, you can't be too Young, but not too old, in a word, fool around. 15 Three years ago, when was that?The calendar says it's 2000 A.D. and that's enough - I say, in 2000, who are you?what are you doing?do you have moneyNone of this matters, the important thing is that you have to be in Beijing, the important thing is that you have to be young, as young as this city, as a jerk. Young and jerk, in Beijing, in 2000, that was everything. 16 The usefulness of the word "everything" is that it is not afraid of logical contradictions. It is vague but clearly outlines the cause and effect of everything. I know this is a stupid idea, but if you don't believe in the power of stupid Then life will be surrounded by all kinds of tangled contradictions and exhausted. In this regard, apart from a thick book written by an Englishman named Fraser as a proof, I have personal experience , I spent a lot of time and energy trying to figure out some truths in life, but the result is not as convenient as being unreasonable. Since everyone has their own reasons, it is enough to understand them ruthlessly. Best of all, you don't need to ask why, because the answer is 100% narrow-minded stupidity. What can we say about narrow-minded stupidity?To understand it coherently?I don't think it's necessary at all, tell me what you want to do - I'll just nod and shake my head, and probably, I'll just nod, before you finish, because I just can't be bothered to disagree. 17 At the beginning of 2000, I met Yuan Xiaochen. In winter in Beijing, under the gloomy mist that the northwest wind could not blow, our relationship was simple and clear, just like primitive people. It was a sexual relationship of astonishing purity. , in fact, it is difficult to establish other relationships in such a small and soft space as the mattress and the quilt. That kind of relationship does not make people remember anything, but on the contrary, troubles and fears, hopes and frustrations, everything is in harmony. Suspended temporarily, however, the life suspended by lust is short-lived. This is the feeling of life, everything seems to be slow and static, but suddenly, you will find that you have been surrounded by this era, or by that damn environment, and suddenly look back, the old feelings and old scenes are still the same , but all of that has already changed. 18 Since 2000, there has been a flood of sexual desire in the society, and its main driving force is commodity trading. For some reason, almost all commodities are sold with beautiful women, and even worth three to five yuan. It’s as if a product can be picked up by a girl. These beauties all have cheap smiles, wear revealing or disheveled high-end fashion, and their standing and sitting postures are very distorted and obscene. And other methods to assist businessmen to sell products to people, and some simply lie on their backs. The purpose is of course to arouse men's sexual desires, make them burn up, and have the urge to spend money when their sexual impulses cannot be satisfied. Female customers arouse their desire to compete and imitate. In short, the beauties flashing in various media are dazzling, but the annoying thing is that the women walking on the street are full of pirated goods. Feeling that she is inferior in appearance, she asks some pretty girls to look at herself secretly through the mirror, secretly appraising herself in her heart, to see if she can sell well—the material age has come to China like a hurricane, sweeping everything away. 19 Of course Yuan Xiaochen was swept away. Not only that, but she is also a strong player under this new trend. She likes to consume, that is, to spend money. As long as she spends money, she can feel satisfied. Every place with market significance , have become a small battlefield for her intelligence and intelligence, whether it is the company where she works, the shopping mall, or the pillow of her lover, she is obsessed with it. In those places, no matter whether she gets money or spends it, she can make her crazy Rukuang, in her eyes, the so-called life is the most efficient Earn or spend money efficiently, that is, spend the least money and buy the most things, or exert the least effort to earn the most money, and the essence of it is to combine the two things of earning and spending money with The two things of food and sex are organically integrated into one, and this is the whole of her life. 20 Yuan Xiaochen graduated from an unnamed university, the name of which I forgot. I didn’t even know whether she graduated or not. The major she studied is not a major at all, but some basic skills. According to her, in order to find a job, She has spent money to buy seven or eight kinds of fake diplomas. In short, when applying for a job, she just rushes to hold her feet. If the employer wants someone, she buys a corresponding diploma. If you put together her application resumes, you She would think that she was an omnipotent genius. Of course, even she herself didn’t believe this. In terms of earning a living, she had a completely mediocre attitude, and she didn’t know what kind of wind was blowing her so hard , put some English in her mind that can be matched with Chinese, so that she can take up some secretarial work in any company, and her advantage in appearance makes her very confident, thinking that finding a job is not enough problems, and keeping a job is a no-brainer.