Chapter 11 11

It was August 14, 1965—more than two years since the sun went out.Today is Will's birthday.All day he wandered around telling people that he was a year older now, like another inning of baseball.Jessie didn't understand why birthdays seemed to mean so much to her brother.But apparently that is the case.She decided that if Will wanted to compare his life to an inning of baseball, that was fine. For quite a while, everything that happened at her little brother's birthday party was perfectly fine.Marvin Gaye was singing on the recorder, yes, but it wasn't a bad song.dangerous song. "I don't want to be damned," Marvin sings, pretending to be threatening, "I'm going a long time... baby." The song is actually kind of quirky.The truth is that day could have been much better, at least so far."Better than violin music," in the words of Jesse's great-aunt Catherine.Even her dad thought so, though he hadn't thought about it when the idea of ​​going back to Gyllmouth for Will's birthday had started.Not very eager.Jessie heard him tell his mother that she did, and that it was a good idea after all.It made her feel good, because it was she—the unmarried Jesse Mechter, Tom and Sally's daughter, Will's sister, Maddy's sister—who had made the idea go.They didn't go to the sunset road in the inland, but stayed here, and she played a role.

Sunset Lane is a family camp (after three generations of freewheeling it has really grown large enough to be called a compound) at the northern end of Lake Dakskau.This year, they broke the custom of seclusion here for nine weeks, because Will thought—only this time, he spoke to his parents in a dignified tone, and he hoped to be with his family and the friends he usually gets along with. birthday together. Tom Mechter, a stockbroker who splits his time between Portland and Boston, initially shot down the idea.For years, he told his family not to believe all the propaganda about how guys in ties and white shirts go to work loafing all day—hanging around water coolers or asking the pretty Goldilocks dictating lunch invitations. "In Vostok, there is no hardworking lawnmower who works harder than me," he would often tell them. Not particularly exciting." In fact, none of them ever heard anything to the contrary, and they (probably including his wife, although Sally would never say so) all thought his work sounded like donkey shit. tedious.Only Meddy vaguely knew what he was doing.

Tom insisted that he needed to spend that time by the lake to recover from the stress of work.His son will have enough birthdays to spend with friends later.After all, Will was celebrating his ninth birthday, not his ninetieth. "And," Tom added, "birthdays with playmates aren't much fun unless you're old enough to have a drink or two." So Will's request to spend his birthday at the family's usual house by the coast might have been denied if Jesse hadn't suddenly and unexpectedly endorsed the plan (which, to Will, was a big surprise for Jesse. , Jesse is three years older than him, and a lot of the time Will can't figure out if she remembers that she has a brother).She initially suggested, softly, that it might be fun to go home—only for two or three days, of course, and meet on the lawn, play croquet, badminton, barbecue at dusk, and enjoy Japanese lanterns.After this, Tom became enthusiastic about the idea.He was the kind of man who thought of himself as "the stubborn son of the witch" and was often thought of as "the old stubborn donkey".No matter how you look at him, he's always been a tough guy, and there's nothing to change him once he gets his foot in the door...and when his jaw drops.

When it came to changing him--changing his mind, his youngest daughter had more luck than all the others combined.Jesse often found a way into Dad's mind.She got in through some loophole or some secret passage, and the rest of the family couldn't find it.Sally believed—she had some reason—that Jessie had always been Tom's favorite of the children.Tom deluded himself into thinking that no one else in the family knew this.Maddy and Will put it simply: they believe that Jessie flattered Dad, who in turn spoiled her. "If Dad catches Jessie smoking, he might buy her a lighter." The year before, Maddy made exactly this mistake and was strictly prohibited.Will said this to Maddy.Meddy agreed with a smile and hugged her brother.Neither they nor their mother knew the secret of the carrion between Tom Mechter and his young daughter Jesse.

Jessie thinks she's just going along with her brother's plea - she's just standing up for him.In any case, she didn't know—the surface layers of her mind didn't know that she had grown to hate Sunset Road so much, how desperately she wanted to get out of there.She also hated the lake she had loved passionately—especially the faint, dry mineral smell.By 1965, she hardly wanted to swim there anymore, even on the hottest days.She knew that her mother thought it was her size—Jessie had developed early, just like Sally herself.At the age of twelve, she had the basic figure of a woman—however, it wasn't her figure that was the cause, she was used to it.She knew that whichever of those two faded swimsuits she was wearing was far from being the love interest of dudes who would not have their picture posted on the wall, no, not her breasts, her hips, her Ass, but that smell.

Regardless of the reasons and motivations roiling underneath, Will Mechter's request was eventually granted by the head of the Mechter family.They traveled back to the coast yesterday.They left early, giving Sally plenty of time to get ready for the potluck (both daughters eagerly helped).It is now August 14th. August 14th is undoubtedly the apex of summer in Maine.On this day, there are large white clouds floating in the light blue sky, and the sea breeze with a strong salty smell is refreshing. Inland—including the Lake District, where the Sunset Trail has stood on the shores of Lake Dakskau since Tom Mechter's grandfather built the original cabin in 1923—the woods, lakes, ponds, swamps at 3°C The temperature was over ten degrees Celsius and it was extremely hot, and the humidity was only below the saturation point.But it's only over 20 degrees here by the sea.The sea breeze is a bonus, it makes the humidity irrelevant, it blows away the mosquitos and midges.The lawn was full of children, mainly Will's friends.There were also girls who were friends with Maddy and Jesse.Strangely this time, they both seemed to be having fun, and they never quarreled.Around five o'clock, as Tom brought his first martini of the day to his lips, he glanced at Jesse, who was standing close by with a croquet mallet on his shoulder like a guard. Carrying a rifle (clearly within earshot of casual conjugal conversation, though it might actually be a shrewd side-shooting basketball compliment meant for his daughter).Tom turned his eyes to his wife and said, "I think it's a pretty good idea after all."

Better than good, Jesse thought, great, wonderful.If you want to know the truth. Even that wasn't what she really meant, didn't really think.But it would be dangerous to say everything else aloud, and that would interest the gods.What really comes to mind is that the day is flawless—it's a very trustworthy day.Even the singing from Maddy's portable tape recorder (Jessie's sister cheerfully carried it out into the yard for the occasion, although it was an untouchable icon in ordinary times) was sweet.Jessie had never really liked Marvin Gaye, and she had never liked the faint mineral smell of the lake on a hot summer afternoon, but this one was okay. "If you're not cute I'll curse... baby", stupid, but not dangerous.

It was August 14, 1965.That day still lives on in the mind of a dreaming woman handcuffed to a bed at a lakeside villa forty miles south of Lake Daxkaw (but still in the heat of summer, with the same mining material smell, that nasty evocative smell). Although the twelve-year-old girl didn't see Will sprawling behind her, she bent over to croquet, her ass a target for the little boy who just had another inning of baseball - another year passed , Such a goal is too tempting for him to ignore.A part of her mind still felt that he was there.Between the buttocks is the crack where the dream turns into a nightmare.

She sets the croquet ball, concentrating on the net six feet away.If she could hit the ball, she could catch Caroline after all.That was good, because Caroline almost always won at croquet.Then, just as she drew back the bat, the music on the tape recorder changed. "Hey, listen, everybody," sings Marvin Gaye, sounding more than a mock threat this time, "Especially you girls..." Goosebumps came over Jessie's tanned arms. "...should you stay alone when the one you love never comes home...I love so hard, friends sometimes say..." Her fingers were numb, and she lost the feeling of holding a croquet stick in her hand.Her wrists jingled.

Unseen pincers, her heart was suddenly filled with frustration.This is another song, an inappropriate song, a bad song. "...but I believe...I believe...that women should be loved in that way..." She looked up at the small group of girls waiting for her to hit the ball and saw Caroline walk away.Standing in her place was Nora Calligan, her hair flowing in braids and a little white zinc on the tip of her nose.She was wearing Caroline's yellow sneakers and her keepsake box—the one with the small picture of Paul McCartney inside.However, the eyes were Nora's green eyes.The eyes looked at her with the deep sympathy of an adult.Jesse suddenly remembered Will—no doubt egged on by his companions, who, like Will himself, had been cheered up by Coca-Cola and brownies.He was lying on his stomach behind her, ready to touch her shame with his fingers.She was about to overdo it when he started, and turned around to punch him in the mouth.It might not totally ruin the birthday party, but it certainly does something to how perfect it is.She tried to drop the bat, trying to get up and turn around before this happened.

Someone behind her turned up the volume on Maddy's small tape recorder.The terrible song was playing louder than before, singing triumphantly and shining like a sadist. "It breaks my heart...so heartless - someone, somewhere - to tell her it's not fair..." She tried to get rid of the club again—throw it away—but she couldn't, as if someone had handcuffed her to it. Nora!She cried, Nora, you save me!stop him! It was at this moment in the dream that Jesse moaned for the first time, momentarily starting the dog off Gerald's body. Nora shook her head slowly but gravely. I can't save you, Jesse.You have to save yourself - we all do.Usually I don't tell my patients what to do.But I think, in your case, you'd better act honestly. You don't understand!I can't go through it all over again, I can't! Cough, don't be so stupid! Nora became impatient suddenly, and she began to turn away, as if she could no longer bear to see Jessie's upturned, terrified face. You won't die, it's not poison. Jessie looked around frantically (though she still couldn't straighten herself up, unable not to become a tempting target for her brother who was looming).She saw her friend Tammy Howe go, and standing there was Ruth Neary in Tammy's white shorts and yellow vest.She held Tammy's red-striped croquet stick in one hand and a Marlboros in the other.The corners of her mouth were turned up in her usual mocking grin.But her eyes were serious and full of sadness. Ruth, help me!Jesse yelled.You have to save me! Ruth took a deep breath, then used Tammy Ho's cork-soled sandals to grind the butt into the grass. Oh my god, baby - he's going to poke your dick, not your ass with a bull rod.You know as well as I do that you've been through this before.So what does it matter? It's not just poking dicks.This is not true.And you know it! Hooting owl, spit!Poke lower body.Ruth said. What?what does that mean- Meaning how do I know everything? Ruth yelled back.Her voice was angry on the surface, but actually contained deep pain. You won't tell me -- you won't tell anyone.You run away.You run away like a rabbit who sees the shadow of some hooting owl in the grass. I can't tell!Jessie screamed, and now she saw a shadow in the grass beside her, as though Ruth's words had conjured it up.However, it was not the shadow of the owl, but that of her brother.She could hear the muffled giggles of his friends and knew he was about to reach out to do it, but she still couldn't straighten up, let alone get out of the way.There was nothing she could do to change what was about to happen.She knew that this was the essence of nightmares and tragedies. I can not!She screamed at Ruth again.I can't, never can!That would kill my mom...or it would ruin the family...or both!He said so!Dad said so! I don't want to be the one sending you this special message, baby.But this December, your dear old father has been dead for twelve years.And, can't we dismiss even a few such lurid incidents?You know, it's not like he's hanging you on a clothesline by your nipples and setting you on fire. But she didn't want to hear it, didn't want to think -- even in her dreams -- of reevaluating her buried past.Once the dominoes start toppling, who knows where they'll stop?So she covered her ears to not hear what Ruth was saying.She continued to stare at her old college roommate with that begging, ghostly look.This stare often made Ruth laugh and give in, and do whatever Jessie asked her to do (Ruth's frosty exterior wasn't thick enough, anyway). Ruth, you save me!You must save me! However, this time the staring method was ineffective. I don't think so, baby, those sorority members are gone.The time to shut up was over, and running away was impossible.Waking up is not an option.It's a mysterious train, Jesse.You're the cat, I'm the owl, let's drive—all in the car.Fasten your seat belt, fasten it tight.This is a journey with an E-class ticket. No! But now, to Jesse's horror, it was beginning to darken.It could just be the sun hiding behind a dark cloud.But she knew it wasn't so.The sun was going out, and soon the stars would be twinkling in the sky on a summer afternoon, and the old owl would be hooting to the doves.It's time for a solar eclipse. No!She yelled again.That was two years ago! This time, you are wrong, baby.Ruth Neary said.For you it never ends.For you, the sun never comes out. She opened her mouth to deny it, to tell Ruth that she was as guilty as Nora of exaggerating things.Nora kept pushing her towards doors she didn't want to open, and kept reassuring her that looking back could make things better—as if a heavy dose of yesterday's maggot-infested leftovers would make today's dinner taste better.She wanted to tell Ruth, as she had told Nora that day when Forever stepped out of her office, that tolerating something was very different from being bound by it.Don't you two fools understand that admiration is a form of admiration? She wanted to say it, but before she could open her mouth, something invaded: a hand came between her slightly parted legs, its thumb was roughly thrust into the slit of her ass, and the fingers pressed against it. On the shorts above her vagina.This time it wasn't her brother's innocent little hand, the hand between her legs was much bigger than Will's, and it wasn't innocent at all.The bad song was on the tape recorder, and the stars came out at three o'clock in the afternoon.This is the action of adults fondling each other's genitals. She turned around, expecting to see her dad.He did something similar to her during the eclipse.She imagined Ruth and Nora muttering about self-admiration, obsessed with the past would call it child molestation.It was him by whatever name—she knew it all too well—and she feared that she would demand a terrible punishment for what he had done, no matter how serious or trivial.She'd hit him in the face with her croquet stick, smashing his nose and knocking out his teeth.When he fell on the grass, the dogs would come and eat him. However, it wasn't Tom Mechter standing there, it was Gerald.He was naked, with his cock erect towards her under the lawyer's soft red belly.In one hand he held a pair of Craig handcuffs, which he held out to her in the eerie darkness of the afternoon.An unnatural starlight flickered on the side seams of the handcuffs, which were stamped M-17 because Gerald couldn't get an F-23. Come on, Jesse.he grinned. It's as if you don't know the situation.And, you like it.The first time you cum so hard you almost explode.I don't mind telling you, it was the best job I've ever done in my life.so good!I dream about it sometimes.And you know why it's so good: because you don't have to take any responsibility.Almost all women feel especially good when they are completely at the mercy of men - proven feminine psychology.Jesse, did you have an orgasm when your dad molested you?I bet you have.I bet you cum so hard you're going to explode.People who admire themselves may want to argue about this, but we know the facts, don't we?Some women can say they need it, and some women need a man to tell them they need it.You are one of the latter.It's okay, Jesse.That's what handcuffs are for, but they're not really handcuffs, they're love bracelets.So put them on, honey, put them on. She stepped back and shook her head, not knowing whether she wanted to cry or laugh.The topic itself was new, but the wording was all too familiar. Lawyer tricks don't work for me, Gerald—I've been married to a lawyer for far too long.As we both know, the handcuff thing wasn't meant for me at all.It's for you... Let's face it, it's for waking up your booze-smoothed thing a little bit.So put your damn femininity on hold, okay? Gerald realized it, but smiled embarrassedly.Well said, baby, not a fatal blow, but a powerful blow nonetheless.The best defense is also a good offense, right?I think, I taught you that.But it doesn't matter.Now is the time to make a choice.Either wear this bracelet, or swing that croquet club and beat me to death. She looks around, realizing with dismay that everyone at Will's birthday party is watching her face the naked (that is, except for his glasses).Overweight, sexually aroused men... not only her family but childhood friends watching too.Mrs. Henderson, her freshman mentor, was also standing nearby.Bobby Hagen - the guy who took her to the senior prom and then fucked her in the backseat of his dad's old car - was standing in the yard, next to him the blond from Nevers Parsonage girl.The girl whose parents liked her but doted on her brother. Barry, Jesse thought.Her name is Olivia and her brother's name is Barry. Goldilocks was listening to Bobby Hagen and looking at Jesse.Their faces were calm and somehow haggard.She was wearing an undershirt with a picture of Mr. Nature scurrying down the street, his words printed on a balloon: "Evil is good, incest is best." Standing behind Olivia was Kendall Wilson.It was she who hired Jesse for her first teaching job.She's cutting a chocolate birthday cake for Mrs. Page, Jesse's childhood piano teacher.Mrs. Page seemed quite active.She died of a stroke two years ago while picking apples at Alfred's Cory Orchard. It's not like dreaming, it's like drowning.It seemed like everyone I knew was standing here in this weird, starlit afternoon.Watching my naked husband try to get me handcuffed while Marvin Gaye sings "Can I get a witness?" If there's any consolation, it's this: It couldn't have been worse Something happened." Then they acted, and Mrs. Woz, her first-grade teacher, started laughing.Old Mr Cowper, their gardener until his retirement in 1964, laughed along with her.Maddy joined in the laughter.And Ruth, Olivia with the scar on her chest, Kendall Wilson and Bobby Hagen nearly bent over laughing.They patted each other on the back like guys who've heard the nastiest jokes at the local barbershop.Perhaps the key phrase of the joke is: A woman is on life support because of her vagina. Jessie looked down at herself and saw that she was also naked now.On her chest, there is a hateful word written in a lipstick: Daddy's little girl. I have to wake up, she thought.I'll die of shame if I don't wake up. But she didn't wake up, at least not right away.She looked up and saw Gerald's knowing but wide smile turned into a gaping wound.Suddenly, the bloody mouth of the wild dog protruded from between his teeth.The dog grinned, too, and a head emerged from between its fangs, like some kind of obscene childbirth.This head belonged to her father.His eyes, always blue, were gray now, and above his grinning mouth there was a ecstatic gleam in them.She realized it was Olivia's eyes.Then she became aware of something else: the dry mineral smell of the lake water, so faint and yet so terrible.The smell is everywhere. "I love so much, my friends sometimes say that," sang her dad in the dog's mouth, and the dog in her husband's mouth. "But I believe, I believe, that a woman should be loved that way." She threw away the croquet stick and ran screaming.Gerald snapped the handcuffs around her wrists as she passed the grotesque hideous creature with its head on its head. Got you!he exclaimed triumphantly.Here comes you, my proud beauty! At first, she thought, the eclipse wasn't quite there after all, because the sky was starting to get darker.Then it occurred to her that maybe she was going to pass out.That thought was accompanied by a feeling of deep relief and gratitude. Don't be silly, Jesse - you can't pass out in your sleep. But she thought maybe she was doing that.Whether it was a faint, or just a deeper cave of sleep, it didn't really matter in the end.In this cave of sleep she felt like a survivor of a catastrophe.The important thing is that she finally got rid of that dream.The dream hit her in ways more fundamental than what her dad had done that day on the deck.She eventually escaped.Gratitude seems like an elegant and normal response to the situation. She had almost succeeded in entering the comforting dark hole when suddenly a sound broke in: a broken, unpleasant sound, like a sudden loud coughing.She tried to run away from the sound, but couldn't, it held her like a hook.Like a hook began to drag her toward the vast but crumbling silver sky that divided sleep from waking. The former prince who had once made little Catherine Sutterling proud and joyful sat in the kitchen hallway.It had been sitting here for about ten minutes since its last foray into the bedroom.It sat there with its head thrown back, its eyes wide open and unblinking.For the last two months, it has been slurping away with very little leftovers.He's had a good meal tonight - gobbled it up, in fact, and should be tired.For a while, it was lazy and a little sleepy.But now all the drowsiness is gone, replaced by a sense of tension, this tension is getting stronger and stronger, something is pulling on several hair-thin alarm trigger wires.This alarm trigger line lies in the mysterious area where the dog's senses and instincts overlap.In the other room, the fierce master continued to groan, occasionally making a sound of speaking.But the noise she made was not the root cause of the wild dog's panic, nor was it what made it sit up again when it was about to fall peacefully to sleep.It now thrusts its sensitive ears forward alertly, and its mouth is wrinkled to the sides to show its missing teeth.The hostess voice is not why it does this. It was something else... something not quite right... something that could be dangerous. When Jessie's sleep peaked and began to spiral into darkness, the dog jumped up suddenly, unable to bear the sizzling of nerves any longer.It turned and opened the loose back door with its muzzle, and leaped out into the windy dark night, as some strange, indistinguishable smell assailed it.There was danger in that smell... almost certainly danger. The dog sprinted toward the woods as fast as its bulging, overburdened belly would allow.When it got the safety of the bushes, it turned and moved a little back toward the house.True, it retreated, but it had not quite given up the wonderful food it had found. The wild dog is safe in the woods, alternate ideographic moon shadows on its thin, tired, wise face.It started barking, and it was the barking that finally pulled Jessie back to sane.