Chapter 37 37

37 I privately think that Xu Chen, like Goethe and Rilke, regards brilliant women as potential readers when writing.Like Goethe, he seduces innocent maidens, makes them lose their virginity, suffers, and then sings a beautiful dirge to them. See how Faust treated Gan Liqing, seduced her, impregnated her, forced her to kill her mother and infant, was sentenced to hang, went mad in prison, and died of her madness.In the end, she can guide men's lost souls into heaven as an eternal goddess. This is the destiny of a glorious woman, and this is the beauty that male society bestows on us. Unless we have a stronger spiritual force to contend with, otherwise we have to accept this sense of beauty.

Xu Chen told me many years ago that he always saw a goddess in his dreams. This woman in the ethereal fairyland has been with him since he was a child. Sometimes she was born in a bubble, extremely light, and carried her The bubbles walk between the sky and the river, changing colorful halos under the sun.He regards her as the lover of his dreams, the perfect lover, and relentlessly searches for her in reality, hoping that one day a miracle will appear, and he will not waste his life. Xu Chen has a reputation for knowing himself. He knows that his book is an aphrodisiac, which will attract countless girls who long for love to come forward to identify him, look for him, or come to take a look just out of curiosity. More girls are more likely to be found, and his perfect lover must be hidden among these more girls.

I told him that all his books can be summed up by the name of one of Kierkegaard's books - "The Seducer's Notes", and he replied aggrievedly: "Do you think that is easy? You have to find it." the seduced one!" The girls who fell in love with Xu Chen because of reading his book all hope to become his legend, and he also hopes to have such a legend.But it is not easy to become a legend even if you think about one place and put your energy into one place.Xu Chen knows this, he is much more decadent than when he was young, probably because he understands that he may never meet the perfect woman of his dreams, but he is not ready to give up, and continues to persevere with the courage of Sisyphus pushing the stone up the mountain , keep looking!