Chapter 4 3

When I was in school, Zhu Chang and I sat at the same table.I don't like reading textbooks. I like to look at the leaves of poplar trees outside the window, which are green, yellow, yellow, and green. I like to look at Zhu Chang's oily hair and the green veins under his face.I often think, what is Zhu Chang made of?Is blood flowing in the veins?What kind of blood and flesh, how mixed, how penetrated my nostrils and eyes, can give me such a strong feeling?These problems are numerous and intense. I finally studied biology and medicine, mainly to understand these problems, but found that modern medicine cannot even prevent colds.

It was no coincidence that I sat at the same table with Zhu Chang. I exchanged the original English version of "Playboy", a copy of Hong Kong's "Dragon, Tiger and Leopard", and a local bastard named Sang Baojiang from a remote county in my class.Sang Baojiang has a nickname called "Spaopi", which was given to him by a new foreign language teacher. Our new foreign language teacher has a small nose and curvy bangs.She has a good figure and long black hair. Turning around to write on the blackboard, the ends of her hair barely touch her sticky buttocks.Zhang Guodong calculated the growth rate of the foreign language teacher's hair, and predicted that in eleven days, the ends of the hair and the buttocks would meet.Liu Jingwei disagreed without any basis, and made a bet with Zhang Guodong, betting on a pack of Jinqiao cigarettes.Although Zhang Guodong's calculation was correct, he still lost in the end.Two days before the ends of her hair were about to touch her ass, the foreign language teacher cut her hair short. "There is too much wind and sand in Beijing, and my hair is too long like a broom, sweeping the floor voluntarily for the cleaners." She said.The foreign language teacher is from the south, and his English pronunciation is very accurate, and he is very proud of it, so the Chinese is also English-like.One day she saw that Sang Baojiang was not actively answering questions, so she asked him to stand up, "My father joined the Long March in English, how do you translate it?"

Sang Baojiang answered half correctly: "My father participated in Long March." The foreign language teacher smiled at him sweetly and said, "Very good, basically the answer is correct. The correct answer is: my father participated in the Long March. Thank you, Sang Baojiang." Take a pee".From now on, we will never say thank you again, and we will always change it to: "Thank you, take a pee." Every time during the break, this sentence echoed everywhere in the corridor. Sang Baojiang took a broom and chased it around. Fight, but still can't catch up. The middle school I attend is the city's key school, the only one in Chaoyang District, and it's extremely tight in this three-acre land in Chaoyang District.After our group of people graduated, this school won the top prize in the Beijing college entrance examination for four consecutive years, and its reputation went out of Chaoyang District, and it began to dominate the two acres of land in Beijing.I think these achievements all stem from our accumulation at that time.Our continuous uselessness has made those teaching buildings full of wind and air, and the Feng Shui is excellent.There is a time lag for the fruit of success, it didn't hit us on the head, after we left, it hit our juniors, brothers and sisters mindlessly, leaving them at a loss.I have heard the principal's confession in front of the media, why he has been so awesome for four consecutive years, the principal chatted shyly for more than ten minutes, talking about the way of Confucius, the revival of Confucianism, the Party Central Committee, the Education Bureau, and himself Work hard, without saying a word.

From junior high school to high school, my grades in the senior high school entrance examination were good, my father's relationship was still hard, and the teachers did not realize their dream of driving me out. Before the senior high school entrance examination, I didn't have a bowel movement for three days, and I didn't peek into the garden for three months. When the carts and second cars drove into the building, I didn't go to the balcony to see their hair parting clearly, the green and white scalp at the parting, and the parting. The glossy hair on both sides.But at a distance of a thousand meters, I can still hear large cars and two cars passing by, and I can smell the different perfumes on the two people and the more annoying smell from their hair.My lower body didn't listen to my explanation, snapped my fingers, and pointed up to the sky, like a wild dog hearing the movement, and quickly raised its ears.

Liu Jingwei said that the eminent monk in Dajue Temple in Xishan was also famous for being a troublemaker when he was a child. Once he met a wandering wild monk and said that this little bad guy had a good root and bones, but his future was limited: either he missed picking flowers and went to jail, or The penis was removed by the infatuated woman.The only way is to be a wandering wild monk with him.Liu Jingwei said, someday I will invite that eminent monk to persuade my parents.I said, fuck your uncle, I will honor your ancestors for eight generations. I realized that I had to work it out.

I drew the curtains, and on the curtains were patterns of red peony flowers and green peacocks spreading their tails. Outside the curtains were poplar trees and the Zhushang House on the fifth floor.On sunny days, you can see the clothes hanging out from her house.I locked the door and bolted it.Mom has the key, so I'll be more careful.Mom and sister are in another unit. My sister is reciting history books, and my mother is thinking about her business plan. Since I was a child, I felt a kind of energy gathered in my mother.In this world, some people think, some are constipated, and some gather energy.My mother is eager for change, eager for things to happen all the time, she is busy day and night, no matter how big or small, she controls everything with gusto.She is full of energy and full of complaints, and amidst the complaints, she arranges everything in order.She spreads sesame paste and sugar on my steamed buns every morning.Clean the house every two days.The slab building was inspected every three days to see what other places could be occupied in the corridors in front of the building and behind the building without the neighbors saying anything and the street office finding no trouble.Contact all the core relations every four days, and inquire about the application for the community planning, the third ring road, the sewage treatment, the Asian Games, and the changes of party and government officials.Forces me to take a shower every five days, check my hair trimmed, nails trimmed, earwax removed.Mediate the key conflicts in a circle of neighbors every six days, remind everyone to collect clothes in rainy days, and say something like "Take a step back, the sea and the sky will be brighter, and the smoke will disappear. A 70-year-old man is like a child, like a kitten or a dog, happy to see a new wife After rejoicing, regardless of trying to get ashes in vain, it is within the normal range. Implement actions on the basis of understanding, first chop the old man to touch the hand of the new wife, and then chop his penis" and so on.The furniture is rearranged every seven days, the wardrobe is moved from east to west, and the desk is moved from south to north.My mother has insight into everything, finds the weakest link at that time in everything, and then takes action, then insight, and then discovery, always worrying about the country and the people, always taking action.People with this kind of energy, if they are more beautiful, are Chen Yuanyuan and Liu Rushi, if they were born in ancient times or during wars, they are Joan of Arc or a female witch.My mother is plain-looking and grew up under the sunshine of socialism, so my mother writes business plans.My mother's business plan is clear and concise, with no miscellaneous details. The business model talks about how to buy cheap and sell dear, and the financial analysis talks about how much money you invest and how much time you get back.My mother and Zhang Guodong's mother partnered to sell tremella and flash thunder.As a result of their hard work, the white fungus, which was quite precious in the north, soon became cheaper than the traditional black fungus. Within two years, the city of Beijing banned fireworks and firecrackers.As for the flash thunder stored under Zhang Guodong's bed, it exploded one day, realizing Zhang Guodong's dream of blowing up the bed with gunpowder, and Zhang Guodong almost became the second in ten thousand households with forty-seven rockets strapped to his body trying to ascend to the sky and capture the moon. This is something.

My mind became busy, and the Kuomintang female spies rarely got into my bed.Once I got in, I still burned my head with curly hair, and put on a thick hair oil, which was like asphalt paving the road on my head.But the small pistol or the condom and other weird things in her hand disappeared. The female agent took a triangular ruler in her hand and said unhurriedly: "I take three steps forward, I take four steps back, I've made minus one step forward." Over and over.I said, are you annoying?She changed her lines, and still said unhurriedly: "Make a vertical line from the vertex of the triangle, and use this vertical line as an auxiliary line." What's the title?" The female spy continued unhurriedly: ""Feelings in the Garden"." I yelled, fuck your uncle, and then woke up from the dream.During the senior high school entrance examination, the topic of the composition was "Spring Outing". I wrote "In the corner of the park, there is a pond. There is a willow tree by the pond, and a goldfish in the pond. I am like a fish in the bottom of the water, striving to make progress. The teacher and the school are like willows by the pond. Guidance, protect me from the wind and rain." I got a full score in my composition, and thanks to this full score, my score went online, and I entered the high school of the only key middle school in Chaoyang District, which completely smashed seven or eight senior high schools. Teacher Zi's conspiracy to clear me out of the door.

I understand that female spies, female hooligans, female bastards, and female goblins are all good helpers for us.I made up my mind at the time that if I decided to become a master of literature in the future, I would raise two female foxes to inspire me.Later, I traded U.S. dollar foreign exchange futures. In order to watch the market in New York and London, I turned day and night upside down.I also kept a little fox in my hotel suite at that time, with a small pointed nose, small tits, a thin and winding waist, and firm and full buttocks.Best of all was her mouth, with a barbed tongue like cats and tigers.She is born to know all the important acupuncture points and meridian trends on the body, her tongue is like an arrow, and she recognizes the acupuncture points accurately. If she wants you to come out, she will come out, and if she doesn't want you to come out, she will not come out.I couldn't understand the trend of the market. At five o'clock in the morning, I woke her up. "Should I buy or sell?" I asked.The little fox didn't open his eyes and yelled "Buy your uncle!", and I bought it. "Short your uncle!", I will sell short.A fox is a fox after all and is right nine times out of ten.This is something.

After the high school entrance examination, many brothers who were mixed together in junior high school did not make it to the key points of this city, but Liu Jingwei and Zhang Guodong were both there.Liu Jingwei's father was already a chairman at that time. It took me ten years to distinguish the difference between chairman, president, CEO and general manager.Zhang Guodong performed better than me on the spot. Except for the composition, his scores in other subjects were higher than mine.Zhang Guodong had no way out. If he failed the exam, he would be sent to the notorious Baihuzhuang Middle School next door to us, and he would die.We had a few fierce fights with Baihuzhuang Middle School. Zhang Guodong was not sure about his shots, but he always swayed to the heavy side, and almost disabled a little fat guy from the middle school next door.Moreover, Zhang Guodong is too tall, standing there at 1.85 meters, as thin as a flagpole. Everyone thinks that he is the leader, and puts all the black accounts on him.Words had been sent out there a long time ago, telling Zhang Guodong not to leave orders when walking, not to go out when it was dark, and to close the windows.Liu Jingwei sneered and said, Zhang Guodong, when you arrived at the middle school next door, you were promoted from a phoenix tail to a chicken head. The teacher regarded you as a confidant, and you became a top student. You will receive medals and certificates regularly, and girls secretly admire you. I lick my upper lip while doing exercises and thinking about you.Zhang Guodong said: "I am your uncle, I worship you as my teacher, I worship the monk of Dajue Temple as my teacher, I will give you two pairs of socks, I will give the great monk a pair of nuns, one in my yard is a jujube tree, and the other One is also a jujube tree. I learned iron sand palms, I soaked potions, I have a pair of iron palms, I count one as ten, I am not afraid of anyone, I become a scapegoat, I become a zombie to crawl into your bed, I make you exhausted Death, I am your uncle."

My father took me to visit the Forbidden City over and over again, especially the Treasure Hall in the East Palace.He often wanders around, with his eyes on places that ordinary people can't imagine, such as Guanyin's bra, or the base of Dayu's water-controlling jade sculpture.I guess looking for a hiding place to steal treasure after sunset.My dad said: "It's really a good thing. There are many things that craftsmen could make in the past, but now science has advanced, but they can't be made. For example, the emerald jade cabbage is beautiful. When it rains, the emerald jade is in the grass. It’s under the cabbage leaves and on top of the cabbage leaves on sunny days. It’s really a good thing.” I thought of Zhang Guodong who studied hard before the senior high school entrance examination, and knew that if he didn’t study, he would die.Now if an emperor puts a knife against the backs of these craftsmen's necks and kills them if they can't make them, what can be made in the past can be made now.

The high school was re-segregated, and the students who were promoted directly from the junior high school were almost unchanged, and the newly admitted students were added randomly.It seems that after the battle reduced the number of men, young men were captured from the surrounding villages and towns to supplement them.I, Liu Jingwei, and Zhang Guodong are all old people. We have known things here for thousands of years, and we have been entrenched in the back row of the classroom for a long time.Because the ground is familiar, I feel that everything is my own, and I look at the new students one by one.Naturally, I want to see some bright girls. Liu Jingwei is waiting for those fierce and fierce characters, so that they can be recruited and practiced before going to fight with the middle school next door.He picked a sportsman who was quite big and had lively eyes.According to his sports practice, his biggest problem is gluttony.In the fifth grade of elementary school, he practiced high jump. At the highest point, he jumped 1.9 meters in belly jump.Later, when I gained weight, I switched to sprinting, and the fastest time I ran was within 12 seconds.Later, I gained weight again and changed to practice the heptathlon.Liu Jingwei said, okay, keep eating, and if you get fatter, you can only practice fighting with us.Zhang Guodong looks at both good-looking girls and boys who can fight.Zhang Guodong said that in addition to Zhu Chang, there is another person nicknamed Cui'er who has also been admitted to our middle school. I don't know if he can be assigned to our class. Zhang Guodong doesn't live in our building. He came to me whenever he had something to do, saying that we were studying together, but when he entered the house, he jumped up to the balcony to look at the clothes hanging out at Zhu Chang's house, and to identify which one was Zhu Chang's underwear.I said that I have "Wu Jing Bei Yao", which contains three methods of making gunpowder.Zhang Guodong smiled and ignored me.Zhu Chang came out occasionally, standing on the balcony, looking up obliquely, her skirts flying.Zhang Guodong smirked silently, with a mouthful of snow-white teeth showing on his dark donkey dung face. Later, when he and I cooked dried noodles for dinner, he said: "The calves are brilliant." Then he said to me: "You really have the foresight." Then he said: "Why don't we switch houses. Otherwise, I will study by myself every day. " This bastard did not become a scientist in the end, although he was admitted to Tsinghua University, the best department of science and engineering, learned computers, could use assembly language to write programs that can be used by 8086 chips, and used a lathe to turn a modern A polygonal metal nude beauty of the group.But Zhang Guodong was ordered to drop out of school after three years in school, and later became a director. He couldn't use a computer at all, but he used his mobile phone to send twenty or thirty text messages a day.He has long hair, full of dandruff, and is greasy in a pigtail at the back of his head. He often frowns and thinks about life without looking at people directly.Later, I stepped on the thunder, took a DV film, won some awards in Europe, and became popular for no reason. I had to wear sunglasses when I went to the street, and I was worried that others would recognize it.Open the entertainment tabloids, there are often interviews with him, and the most common theme is "Youth is cruel".The actresses who can act in other roles have one characteristic: they have thin calves. Tweety was more famous than Zhu Chang at that time. When we were young, the entertainment industry was underdeveloped, and female movie stars were basically dressed as sisters-in-law or higher, with ears level and flat hair. Occasionally, a little girl showed her head in a movie, and she was always smiling, happy like a fool.Female spies are a scarce resource. According to the old gangster Kong Jianguo, after the film was finished, they had their measurements measured, weighed, and numbered.At that time, tickets were used for everything, such as cloth tickets, oil tickets, and face tickets. The most valuable ones were female spy tickets and Jin Ping Mei tickets.The female spy ticket and the Jin Ping Mei ticket are equivalent. A female spy ticket can get one female spy for one day of use, and a Jin Ping Mei ticket can get an unabridged movie for a lifetime.A female spy ticket or a Jin Ping Mei ticket can be exchanged for a thousand catties of noodles. But, we also have stars.The old rascal Kong Jianguo is famous because he knows things that have been unknown for thousands of years, and Zhu Chang is famous because he sings. There was a vocal competition for middle school students in Chaoyang District, and all the respectable gangsters on the street went to see it, and there were huge crowds of people.Liu Jingwei, Zhang Guodong and I were thick-skinned and not afraid of being cold-blooded. We squeezed in the front, and several of our shirt buttons fell off.Zhu Chang played and sang on the guitar. The guitar was two times bigger than her body. It was made of red cotton, bronze-colored, and had a strap that straddled Zhu Chang's neck.Her neck is so white.Zhu Chang's hair fell down, straight and smooth, covering half of his face and one eye, and the other eye that was not covered was also lowered, staring at the floor on the stage and never looking at anyone.A white skirt, covering from the neck to the feet, like a white flour bag, no breasts, waist, or buttocks can be seen.The song seems to have two verses. Zhu Chang sang the first verse in Chinese first, and then sang the second verse in English. I don’t understand either Chinese or English. The name of the song seems to be Feelings.When she sang English, the tears flowed down quietly, and the tick-tock hit the guitar, but the singing voice did not change a bit, which shocked the audience, big and small. "This is the legendary beauty!" Zhang Guodong chattered, full of his unique curiosity.I saw that his mouth was wide open, his lips were red, and there were continuous strands of saliva between the two lips.I raised my elbow to push Zhang Guodong's chin, and he almost bit his tongue. I think Zhu Chang is very contrived, pretending to be pretty.I craned my neck to see if her sockless feet would peek out from under her skirt during her curtain call.I love seeing meat, especially meat wrapped in lots of cloth.Another person who didn't buy it was Liu Jingwei. He said, are you guys stupid?There is no way people are stupid.Liu Jingwei likes a girl who dances Russian dances in Sanlitun No. 2 Middle School. She is white, fat, tall, and her pupils are still half blue and not yellow. It is said that her mother’s grandmother is Russian. She danced striptease in Harbin decades ago. Red lips, nicknamed red cabbage soup.Liu Jingwei said that when dancing, all her flesh is moving, and her breasts must have grown like her grandma's, bouncing around like a bunny.It seems that there is really an eyeball in the belly button, which is spinning around.One winter more than ten years later, Liu Jingwei took me to a big bar called "Seven Star Island" near the Temple of Ritual. There was a big sign at the door: "Prostitution, prostitution, drug trafficking and drug trafficking are illegal." We met this Sanlitun again inside. Two girls dancing Russian dance.She wore a dress with animal fur trim, and with her tall breasts and big white face, she pretended to be from Russia and charged a high price of 800 yuan for one visit.Liu Jingwei was very excited when he came out, and said in a white voice: "Not only fake ones, but also real Russian ones, as well as Mongolian ones, Czech ones, and Yugoslavian ones. Now they are really prosperous, reappearing the prosperity of the Tang Dynasty, reappearing the prosperity of the Tang Dynasty That night, he said the Great Tang Prosperity a hundred times, and then bought all the cash he could move at that time into B shares, and then made a fortune, which is a later story. Tweety is famous because she is good-looking, down-to-earth and simple. Tweety and I know each other very well. We went to kindergarten together. She sat next to me on the first day, with her hands on her knees and her eyes obediently looking at the teacher.At that time, I was waiting for her to go home with her at the gate of the kindergarten. Years later, after I was abandoned by a strong female hooligan, Tweety would occasionally lend herself to me for a hug, to sleep for a while or two, several times, Tweety My son almost became my wife.Because of Tweety's reputation, Zhang Guodong insisted that Liu Jingwei and I go to the Workers' Stadium with him to watch Tweety's school organize group gymnastics for a certain farmers' sports meeting.We were sitting in the stands of the empty stadium. Liu Jingwei had never seen Tweety, this kind of ruthless bastard. Out of hundreds of little girls off the field, he saw Tweety with two pigtails at a glance. Me: "Is that Tweety who is holding a big yellow wheat ear? Your lips are so red!" After knowing her for twenty-five years, Tweety smiled at me after washing her face, her teeth were white and her lips were red, I was still surprised Because of her simple beauty, I then lamented God's good fortune. I've been to Tweety's house, her parents and younger brothers are all there.Her parents are both middle school teachers, her father teaches physical education and looks like Li Kui, and her mother teaches chemistry and looks like Li Kui's eldest sister.Her younger brother once went to Jinshan in the suburbs of Beijing to play with his classmates, and he found it after losing it all day. When he found it, his eyes were blurred, and he showed a silly smile in the grass. His classmates said that he was possessed by a wild boar, and he gave it to him since then. A "pig head monster" nickname.In short, if Tweety is really her parents' child and her brother's sister, there must be a genetic mutation in the universe. As a result, Cui'er was assigned to a foreign class, and Zhu Chang was assigned to our class.When arranging the seats, Zhu Chang sat next to the local hooligan Sang Baojiang. I want to sit next to Zhu Chang, I must sit next to Zhu Chang.Zhu Chang's hair was very fragrant when it fell loose, smooth and straight, covering half of his face and one eye.Zhu Chang's mother used to be very famous, and the old gangster Kong Jianguo always mentioned that she was a peerless beauty in the eyes of the old gangster Kong Jianguo. I exchanged an English copy of "Playboy", a Hong Kong copy of "Dragon Tiger Leopard" and Sang Baojiang for the right to sit next to Zhu Chang. "Playboy" was given to me by the old rascal Kong Jianguo that time, and "Dragon Tiger Leopard" was stolen by Liu Jingwei from under his father's bed.I didn't want to give any of these two magazines to Sang Baojiang.In fact, I am already familiar with that "Playboy" very well. That issue featured a Brazilian beauty with black curly hair, breasts as big as a washbasin, and a thin waist.Every time I see these two washbasin-sized breasts, I think of the conspiracy theory in my heart: there must be a conspiracy in it, the same ten catties of fat meat, if it is thrown in the butcher shop, no one will want it, but if it grows on her body, it will be let People are excited, why?As soon as I close my eyes and try to recall a pose, the Brazilian beauty will strike that pose in my head, completely without the help of a magazine.But this magazine has commemorative significance, and it is beautifully printed, and it is still in English.During the senior high school entrance examination, I was asked to write the English spelling of "excitement" with my eyes closed.That "Dragon, Tiger, and Leopard" is even more unwilling to give to Sang Baojiang.Compared with Brazilian beauties, I prefer Asian girls, with black and straight hair, and large breasts that are well proportioned, not like a gorilla that has been injected with water or inflated.That issue of "Dragon, Tiger, and Leopard" featured a fat woman in Hong Kong, wearing glasses, holding two stacks of Hong Kong dollars, and working as a cashier in a bank. The greatest ideal in life is to turn the money she counts every day into her own. One evening, I invited Sang Baojiang, a mud boy, to the southwest corner of the playground. There was a huge poplar tree there, which was rattling in the wind.I took out a thick underwear advertisement from my schoolbag and wrapped the cover with newspaper, like a hardcover exercise book.Got it from my dad who does a clothing import and export business and has these all the time. Sang Baojiang carefully read the pages one by one, counted on his fingers and said, "There are five women in total. It's boring to change clothes back and forth. I won't change with you." "Why? This book also has a two-foot-sized appendix, American Beauty! Have you ever been to the United States? There is a calendar on it! This year's. This year is not over yet, and it can be used for another three or four months. How nice it is for you to look at beautiful women and know the date again!" "No change. It's full of underwear. I don't like to see the wrapped ones. I like to see the unwrapped ones." I clearly saw that the space between Sang Baojiang's legs grew from nothing, from small to large.I regret that Sang Baojiang should not have seen the entire content of the underwear advertisement. "This is already a small number of bags. You can look up "Ci Hai" and "Xinhua Dictionary". There are diagrams of the human body on them, and the women are all wearing hurdle vests! You can't even see your belly button!" "No. I heard you have nothing to wear." "You have to use your imagination. You close the book, and when you think about it, all the clothes and pants will be gone." "I'm not like you, counter-revolutionary adulterer." "This is kung fu. This kind of imagination is very helpful for your composition. With this kind of imagination, you don't have to write every time when you do composition: my father is a cadre in the village, and his earliest position was the women's director." "A bad person like you can write a good composition. I give up hope. I will concentrate on studying mathematics, physics and chemistry. If there is no one without clothes, I will not change." Before it was dark, the bastard Sang Baojiang got a copy of "Playboy" and a copy of "Dragon, Tiger and Leopard" from me. Liu Jingwei said: "Let him go first, and then deal with him later. As for "Dragon, Tiger, and Leopard", you can steal it from Dad again. No matter how deep he hides, I can find it. No matter how much he loses, no matter how painful it is, I dare not called." Zhang Guodong said: "What if Sang Baojiang tells the dean?" I said, "What is he suing? He peeked at pornographic novels? Besides, what proof does he have that I gave it to him?" Zhang Guodong said: "Your handprints are everywhere in magazines, can you still escape? Now there is a technology called DNA testing, you can find out whose body fluids are from a few years ago. Well, check, you can't escape." , Sang Baojiang can’t escape, and Liu Jingwei’s father, and the old gangster Kong Jianguo, and you, Liu Jingwei, can’t escape. When there is a public trial meeting, the stage will be full, all of them are counter-revolutionaries Masturbation offenders, and put it in your file." "Before that, I want to let him know the consequences of speaking out. If Sang Baojiang dares to speak out, I will sew his mouth up. The first time I use silk thread, the second time I use cotton thread, and the third time I use a stapler. " I drafted an application for changing seats for Sang Baojiang, a mud boy.This was his last unreasonable request. He said: "Everyone knows that you got perfect marks in your composition in the senior high school entrance examination. You must know how to be poor and awesome. You have imagination. In exchange, you can read these two magazines for free in the future." .” The application I wrote is as follows: Dear teacher comrades: In golden autumn and October, the autumn wind brings coolness.The motherland is constantly prospering, and we are constantly learning, and the task of realizing the four modernizations will eventually be completed in our generation.I am short-sighted and have low hearing due to congenital defects and acquired carelessness.Qiushui was born with excellent nature and acquired a good eye. His eyesight has been maintained at 1.5. He can often hear the whispers of the students in the next class in class, and see the small movements between boys and girls in the next class.For the sake of the motherland, for study, and for the four modernizations, I hope to exchange places with Qiushui.After negotiating with Qiushui, he agreed to my request with the good intention of caring about his students' studies, and I hope you can approve it. Our revolutionary cause is just as Chairman Mao said: "Winning the victory of the whole country is only the first step in the long march of thousands of miles." Until now, the appearance of "one poor and one white" in our country has not completely changed; we must build our country into a modernized industrial A strong socialist country with modern agriculture, modern science and culture still needs to go through a long period of great efforts; imperialism still exists in the world, and the working people in many countries, especially mothers and children, suffer from aggression and oppression; moreover, we not only To transform society, we must also transform nature and conquer the universe.I will study and work with redoubled enthusiasm and energy, and work hard for the realization of the four modernizations of the motherland. Applicant: Student Sang Baojiang October 11, 1987 The head teacher agreed to Sang Baojiang's application and praised my enthusiasm. The bastard Sang Baojiang studied the beautifully printed breasts and thighs, and felt that it was unreasonable for me to give up these more convenient stimuli for a taciturn and over-clothed Zhu Chang.After all the witches in the two books were turned upside down in Sang Baojiang's dream, he made a business plan, put it into action, and started a business.In the dormitory, he rented these two magazines to the boys in the lower grades, once every fifteen minutes, one yuan each time, and fifty cents for five minutes overtime.The reading place is set on Sang Baojiang's bed.Sang Baojiang’s bed is hung with a very dirty mosquito net all the year round. It was originally made of mesh, which is impermeable to mosquitoes.For the first time, Sang Baojiang's illegal income surpassed that of his younger brother Sang Baoguo who was two grades lower.Sang Baoguo charged 50 cents for doing homework for others. Sang Baojiang felt that he was less laborious, smarter, and more accomplished than his younger brother.More than ten years later, during the expansion of Taiyanggong Township in Beijing, the land price soared, and Sang Baojiang gradually grew into a new generation of local tyrants and influential real estate figures.This is something. Zhu Chang's hair was very fragrant when it fell loose, smooth and straight, covering half of his face and one eye.Zhu Chang's mother used to be very famous, and the old gangster Kong Jianguo always mentioned it.These things involve aesthetics and history, and Sang Baojiang, a mud boy, grew up in a urinal. He can't understand these things.I also grew up with an inverted urinal, but the old hooligan Kong Jianguo, Dache and Erche lived in my building, I understand. I know my weight, I am proficient in poverty, and I have a strong heart that cannot be blocked by Qingshan. I can make Zhu Chang talk and laugh. Tweety said that some people are born to be Chen Jingrun, while others are born poor and happy.Tweety said, "Qiu Shui, I just don't know what you will do with your abilities in the future." At that time, chickens were rare, and the concept of ducks had not yet been fully formed. Existence, all literary magazines are singing the praises of sunshine and hope, and some hazy poems are more serious and reflect on the Cultural Revolution.Tweety and I are very close, she is always worried about my future.Tweety said, I am by no means handsome or handsome, but I am pretty good-looking and have a good taste.Tweety said, the hair on my legs is thick and long. No matter how many men are eighty years old, they can't grow like this.I said, how many eighty-year-old men have you seen come to this conclusion?Tweety said, I am your uncle.I said, it is very likely that men at the age of 80 used to have leg hair, but they lost it at the age of 80, so you should focus on the age of 18 and collect data for analysis to be convincing. .Tweety said, I will kiss you again. Tweety said, I have a bad and sunny smile, and the girl's heart is warmed when I smile. I think such a boy will not break my heart, and I will not be bored with such a boy.I heard Tweety say that she wants to make a lot of money when she grows up. "What do you do to earn a lot of money? Buy a lot of beautiful clothes?" "Yes, I will buy you beautiful clothes, the best brand, and the best texture." "What are you doing?" "Then I'll hold your arm, go shopping casually, choose a skirt, drink a bottle of soda together on the street, or meet my friends and have a meal together. Promise me one thing." "what?" "Promise me first, anyway, I won't force you to marry me or lead a knife out of the palace." "You don't need to force me. I will force you to marry me when the time comes. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. If you don't marry me, who will you marry?" "promise me." "it is good." "No matter who is your wife in the future, the things I buy for you must be accepted and used." "Why don't you? I haven't told you my ideals in life, have I? Of course I also have ideals. My ideals are to marry the most beautiful girl, write the most boring articles, and serve the country faithfully. You are the most beautiful I have ever seen Girl, who will you marry if you don't marry me?" "Don't interrupt me, I still want to live a few more years. I know I look good, but I'm not particularly smart, and I don't have so many evil thoughts. Even if my brain is good, I don't have the heart to entangle with you. I know you so well, how your little penis grew from nothing in the past few years, and when it grew up, I know it well. You I know how muddy the water is. Besides, haven't you already sat next to that girl by improper means?" "I also love you, uncle. How your small breasts have grown from scratch in the past few years, and when you grew up, I know it in my mind. I still remind you to wear a bra. The little girl is a teenager. Now, you dare to come out to play while wearing a hurdle vest, a pair of slippers, and shaking the cattail fan. You are not Aunt Hu." "Stop talking nonsense, I'm asking you something serious. Haven't you already passed or not? Is it right to sit next to that girl? Are you crazy about that girl?" "I really wanted to help my classmates. Sang Baojiang sat in my original seat, the first row, the first one, and I could see the teacher when I looked up, so that he would not squint his eyes lewdly and give the young female teacher goosebumps. " "You'd better save your saliva and lie to others." "How did you know?" "We have such a big place here, and there are only a few bad guys. Everyone knows each other after a few detours. The eyes of the people are sharp. If you think it's a stranger, maybe he slept with the same girl as you once." "People are not afraid of shadows. I changed my seat to better concentrate on listening to the lecture and not to look at the beautiful girl outside the window. And it is also for my own health. You know, I will get teeth if I don't look at the beautiful girl for three days. pain." "It's getting darker and darker, so I don't bother to talk to you. Does what you promised count?" "count." In the long years that followed, I dreamed of Tweety repeatedly, but without the help of photos, I still couldn't really imagine what she looked like.I always ask myself why we didn't spend the full moon, it's definitely not because we are too familiar, I think it's because the timing is not right.Every time Tweety dresses up and supports me, even if she wears the same black dress and high heels, I will still be amazed at Tweety's beauty.When a man sees her, he often pretends to greet her in a normal way, and then lowers his head to meditate on her appearance in his mind, how her eyebrows are bent, how her nose and eyes are arranged, and how her hair is coiled up without any mess.想不鲜明的时候，再通过某些不引人瞩目的方式补看翠儿几眼，多找几个角度，多找几个背景，确保回家后能够想起，能够不缺太多像素，才开始大口喝酒，不再忸怩不安。 我想，这就是传说中的艳光四射吧。 数学老师有个大得出奇的脑袋，里面没装多少与数学有关的东西。我和大脑袋的人没有缘分，这被之后的很多事实证明，大脑袋的男人在工作中整得我七荤八素，大脑袋的女人在生活中整得我死去活来。我后来学了医学，专攻肿瘤。结识的一个医学怪人，反反复复和我理论，说人类的大脑远远大于实际需要，中世纪人类的生活就已经很安逸舒适了，之后的所谓进步或者异化实际是大脑在作怪。你开一阵子宝马后感觉和小面就没太大区别了。超常大小的大脑绝对是异端，本质上是一种肿瘤。我无法从科学上证明他的正确与否，但是我心目中的美人，永远是脑袋小小的，脖子细细的，头发顺顺长长的。 我坐在教室的后面，还是隐隐闻到蒜没被完全消化从胃里反出来的味道。数学老师的早点一定是昨晚吃剩的饺子，用油煎了煎，还放了很多昨天晚上拌的醋和蒜。昨天的饺子一定是韭菜馅的，数学老师的大门牙上粘了一片长方形的韭菜叶子。他的脑袋大，必然嘴大，食道大，胃大，反出来的味大，我觉得坐在第一排第一个的桑保疆挺可怜。 桑保疆皱着眉头，一根铅笔像农民一样地夹在耳朵上，仿佛正在对椭圆方程进行着深深的思考。铅笔的一头已经被他咬得漆皮斑驳，露出铅心。桑保疆的鼻子仿佛长拧了的草莓，奇形怪状，黄里透红，数目众多的粉刺头上的小黑点就像草莓一粒粒的小瘦果。我最怕看桑保疆听讲或是想问题，就像死了亲娘舅一样难看。 朱裳却是香的。很淡，但的确是香的。桑保疆是倒尿盆长大的，这个，他懂不了。 “不想听课了？”我问朱裳。 “我听不懂。我不知道他在讲什么。总是顺着他的思路听两三分钟，他就跳开讲别的了。我怀疑他自己知道不知道自己在讲什么。” “我给你讲点真正难懂的吧，想听吗？” "OK." “是一个故事。”我想从老流氓孔建国给我们讲的黄故事中找一个比较机巧又不带器官的。好像围棋布局，开始要疏疏朗朗，微言大义。其实我们最终都是要亮出阳具的，但是一开始就亮的是露阴犯，大婚之后的是行天地之礼。 "Ok." 我伸手敲了前面张国栋的后脑壳一下，“回什么头？好好听讲，不许走神，不许偷听。” 转头看着朱裳，我开始讲：“从前有个小村子，小村子里有一户很本分的人家，这人家娶了一房媳妇，媳妇很漂亮，生活很美满。后来这个媳妇生了个大胖小子，大家更是欢喜非常。可是，日子一天天过去，大家发现了一个问题，这个孩子不会讲话。郎中讲，孩子决不是哑巴，但无论用什么办法，就是不能让这孩子开口。一天过了又是一天，大家也习以为常了，好在孩子又壮实又聪明，日子又渐渐美满起来。” "and after?" “后来突然有一天，孩子开口说话了，他叫：'姥姥'。发音清楚，声音洪亮。两天以后，姥姥死了。过了三个月，孩子又开口叫人了：'妈妈'。发音清楚，声音洪亮。两天以后，妈妈也死了。又过了三个月，孩子第三次开口叫人了：'爸爸'。发音清楚，声音洪亮。他的爸爸知道自己死期将至，就到村头的小酒馆买了一壶最贵的酒，两个酱得最好的猪蹄，酒足肉饱之后，穿上自己私藏的真丝红裤头，索性躺在床上等死。” "and after?" “后来两天之后，隔壁的王二叔死了。故事完了。” “不对，是隔壁的秋水死了。”朱裳说，低着头笑，脸贴桌面。 “他爸爸为什么会有真丝红裤头？”朱裳停了停又问。