Chapter 10 preamble

I am not afraid of death, I say so.And I confess to myself that I am not afraid of death, not since the day I walked out of Menzoberranzan.To this day, I fully accept this reality only because of a special friend of mine named Bruno Warhammer. These words come from my mouth, not necessarily as a bravado, nor as a veneer of courage, nor as an attempt to elevate myself above others.It's just the simple fact: I, am not afraid of death. I didn't want to die either, I was determined to fight back against any attempt to kill me.I would not foolishly run into an enemy camp when there was no chance of winning (although my friends often chided me for this, and even the plain fact that we were still alive did not dissuade their harsh chatter).No, I want to live for centuries, I want to live forever, to accompany my friends on a never-ending journey.

That being the case, why is there no fear?I know very well that the path I wish to take—indeed, the path I have chosen to walk—is rife with dangers and utterly probable: Maybe someday not too long ago, I, or my friends, will be killed.If I were killed, I was clearly entering the realm of death; if one of my dear friends were seriously injured, I would rather die than die.I am not shy about this path, and neither are they.But in the end, the creed of Mithril Hall would rise from the ashes of their funeral pile, which seemed to counteract the apparent destiny.When the drow approached Mithril Hall, when the old enemy threatened this place, Bruenor, as the king, stood firmly on the front line of the charge.Yes, it was Bruenor Warhammer - never too much to worry about a warrior - who killed Matron Baenre herself, adding the most dramatic gap to his dreadful axe.

Now I know why.Now, thanks to Bruno, I know why, I am not afraid of death. Before, I attributed my fearlessness to a higher being—a god, a kind of ease after death.This comforting thought is still there, albeit already part of an integrated belief, a part built on prayer and blind faith, rather than really underpinning my perception—that is what guides me on dangerous paths, The key to stepping out every step of the way with ultimate inner peace. I am not afraid of death, because I know that I am part of some reality, an idea, a creed, which is much larger than my body and mind. When I asked Bruno about his chosen path away from Mithril Hall, I asked the question straight to the point: What would happen to Mithril Hall if you were killed along the way?

His answer is even more concise and clear: Under that circumstance, they will be able to manage it better than me, whose cat is in the den and dare not show up! That's the way of the dwarves - that's what they expect from their leader.Even overprotected individuals, such as Chief Guard Panter, knew full well that if they had really kept Bruenor under the shadows, they would have killed the King of Mithral Hall long ago.Bruenor subscribed to the idea of ​​Mithril Hall, a theocracy, a subtle democracy that embraced a particular dwarf—so long as that person currently held the throne—regardless of who he was.Bruenor had known for a long time that all the kings before him and those after him had tragically died in war, leaving the other dwarves bewildered at their loss.

This is the conduct of a dwarf king, because as a king, one must understand that the kingdom is much more important than the king, the clan is higher than the king, and the law of clan survival is the correct law, and it is far higher than that of mortals such as kings and commoners. fetters. If Bruenor didn't believe this, if he couldn't sincerely put his personal safety aside and look coldly at his enemies, Bruenor wouldn't be king of Mithril Hall.A leader who is a coward when danger looms simply cannot sustain leadership. A leader who thinks he is supreme and irreplaceable is nothing but a fool.

But I am not a leader, how does this apply to me and my chosen path?Because my heart tells me that I am on a path paved with truth, a path with good intentions (though they are sometimes misleading), a path that is honest to me.I believe that I'm on the right track (at least to me), and deep down, if I don't believe this, I must do my best to correct my course. Along the way, I have experienced many trials.Of course, there are swarms of enemies and countless physical obstacles, but they are always accompanied by psychological pain.In desperation, I once returned to Menzoberranzan and surrendered to the drow, thinking that they would leave my friends alone, and on my fault, I nearly killed the woman I loved the most.I watched the bewildered and weary Wulfgar pass from us, fearing that he would meet with inescapable danger.And, despite the pain of separation, I knew I had to let him go.

Sometimes it can be difficult to solidify the belief that you have taken the right side of the road.The scene of Alifen's death lingered in my mind for a long time, and I was afraid, but I knew that it was futile to try to change the past.Even today, knowing the dire consequences of my actions on that fateful day half a century ago, I believe I would have chosen the same path that my heart and morals compelled me to choose.Because that's all I can do, and that's all anyone can do. Inner moral guidance is the ideal monument to this difficult journey, even if it is not stable. I'll follow it, knowing full well that I might be bruised all over.

As long as I believe I am walking the true path, if I am slain, I know for a moment that I was part of a being higher than Drizzt Do'Urden. I am embracing the spirit of the way forward instructions. No drow, no human, no dwarf could have wished for more than this. I am not afraid of death. — Drizzt Do'Urden