Chapter 12 02

She was spinning silk like a spider, trying to wrap me up.The surrounding air was filled with a musty, smoky smell.I don't doubt that what she said was true because she was in a very relaxed state.I finally understood how the evil aura pervading the entire building came from. "Porcelain Eyes" is the creator of this lewd atmosphere. What I didn't understand the most at that time was why he was so arrogant and greedy?He's clearly taking a risk, which is extremely dangerous for a liar.Liars have specific vulnerabilities at any given time.They do need to be cautious and sanctimonious at times.I think things are weird enough.

Now I finally have an understanding.I know the "porcelain eye" category is starting to enter a moment of unbridled behavior.This moment is a rare opportunity for them.They caught it with their sense of smell.There is also the urging of time on a villain, which drives him completely into a state of madness. He wants to make the most of this time, even at the risk of it. "Porcelain eyes" The difference from ordinary people is that he still has a halo of "famous expert" on his head, and he is fully aware of the role of this halo in his heart.Like Bai Lao, he hated and despised this halo in his heart, but he couldn't bear to give it up; because he really needed it so much, without it, he simply couldn't survive, and became a worthless waste.

In short, the "porcelain eye" matter has long been semi-public, and almost no one has any objections.What's ridiculous is that "Porcelain Eye"'s own initiative—one day he suddenly proposed to pursue "rumors" and convict some people of defamation—together with this, a terrible conspiracy was revealed.He said that the conspiracy had been going on for a long time, and its purpose was not at all moral injury, but out of extremely vicious revenge. The whole building suddenly became cold and solemn.The fat woman opposite me immediately declared to me that there is no one who is stricter than the old director, and he is a Puritan in terms of personal life—"Do you know what a Puritan is?" I said nothing, She immediately added: "It's just not close to women!" I said: "Yes.

For some shameless women, they are not women at all, but directly some female animals - mangy sows! " The fat woman looked at me with her eyes wide open in shock, and after a while she called out, "Did you say bad things about the old director? Oh, you..." She ran away in a flash. Soon some unidentified persons entered the building and began talking to people.After talking like this for about half a month, the atmosphere became more and more tense.Many people would carefully avoid me when they saw me in the corridor, as if there was some poison in me.It dawned on me: they never talked to me!

At this time, my mentor had already returned from the field camp. He seemed to know nothing and returned to the camp after staying in the office for less than a week.I once talked to him about what happened in the building and expressed my judgment: I think someone has been planning this for a long time, and they are looking for an excuse, an excuse to persecute people.The instructor's black and thin face was dry, and the muscles seemed to be tightly attached to the bones.The moment I was watching him, it dawned on me that he was very, very sick, maybe holding on... I regretted reporting all this to him, it was a bit too late.My mentor nodded and put a dry hand on my shoulder.He didn't say anything, his expression seemed to say:

This is all to be expected... He returned to camp. The day after he left, those who had entered the building also evacuated.There was no outside sound, and the building became dead silent again.The air was cold, and the sky suddenly became cold...we were all waiting.The fat woman in the same office simply did nothing but sit and wait. A few friends who usually have close contacts with me are as puzzled as I am. Neither were they approached for a conversation, which made it clear who the conversation was about. One day, I was washing clothes in the dormitory when someone knocked on the door suddenly.The door opened, and a middle-aged man in a maroon jacket looked at me sullenly, then at a photo in his hand, and said, are you XX?I said yes.He said, please follow me - I didn't know what he was going to do, so after a moment of hesitation, he took out an ID and shook it.

In fact, it is impossible to see clearly.I refused.The man let out a "huh" and walked away. The next day, the person in charge of the office of the building informed me to meet someone in such and such a place, and comforted me by saying, "Don't be afraid, they are just asking casually to find out the situation. This is also the duty of citizens..." I could hear that the informer's tone was greasy and gloating.Out of indignation, I did what he said. There was a table in a narrow hut, and two people sat in front of the table. One was the middle-aged man who had been to my dormitory—he didn’t have a smile on his face at the moment; beside him was a man in uniform. The little girl is probably in charge of recording.What cannot be tolerated is that a chair is placed two meters away from the table, which is obviously for me to sit on.The middle-aged man said coldly: "Sit down!"

"Just stand and talk." The little girl also said coldly: "If I tell you to sit, sit down!" I ignored them again, but just walked over to the table.Unaccustomed to being so close, they put me in my seat again—a judging seat.I said you insisted on letting me do that and I left.The middle-aged man fiddled with the lighter to light a cigarette, and snorted: "This is not up to you. We ask you to do this, and you have to cooperate. This is your obligation!" Then they asked me: "You have said many times about the director's life style and other things. This is a serious slander. The director has suffered great damage to his personality. We have learned about this extensively. But for the sake of protecting Comrade, we are very cautious. We think that you have been working in the institute for a short time. If you don’t understand some things, someone must have deceived you. I hope you can tell us what he said - then it has nothing to do with you, you are just a gullible person ...Speak up, hurry up."

I say I'm not a "gullible person" and I've never "said the boss many times..." The middle-aged man patted the table, and said to the girl next to him: "Remember it for him, but he denied it." Then he turned to me: "You are too young, and it is too easy to think about problems. You think you can get over it like this ? It’s useless for you to stand up for a year. If you don’t name that person, then you are the one who spread those words, and you have to confess!” I sneered, albeit forcedly. "Laugh, when you cry!" I don't think I'll ever cry.Now what I want to know the most is who gave them such power to interrogate anyone at random and call him into the small room?And who would punish them for such terrible barbarity and darkness?

I had to ask again and again who they represent?Who gave them such power? The two people who were asked looked at each other and smiled.This is a real sneer.Their answer was: It's none of your business.We can judge whoever we want.It has always been like this.Is this what you asked too?We can go one step further and arrest you and your gang... The middle-aged man became more and more angry, and then swears.I asked him to be more polite, and he became more and more venomous. After half a day, they were tired.Later, the little girl left, and the middle-aged man called in another person, pushed me into a small room next door, and asked me to "think about it".This is clearly deliberate torture, tantamount to detention.I asked why they detained people?Is it legal procedure?The middle-aged man looked at another guy with red spots on his face and said:

"It's in order if it doesn't beat you out of the urine!" They shoved me into that hut.It was dark inside, with only one table and one bed: a handful of water bottles were placed on the table, and it was empty after shaking.There was a dirty blanket on the bed, and as soon as I lifted the blanket, some bugs flew around... I closed my eyes and stayed quiet for a while, trying to figure out what was going on.I still feel a little sudden anyway.All this seems to come too fast, I used to think it only happened in the story.I quickly thought of my imprisoned father, the hut where I lived as a child, and I especially miss my mother and grandmother... After a while the door opened, and the middle-aged man walked in, this time alone.This time he was kinder and handed me a cigarette, but I didn't take it.He repeated what he said last time, but his tone was much softer.He emphasized that he would not let anyone off easily this time - "someone" obviously did not refer to me; he said somewhat mysteriously: "I knew there was someone behind you...that person was for political purposes; using young people... Did he talk about the former director—that is, something about the former director?" He stopped smoking. My heart felt like it was poked.I understood everything immediately!There was one person they wanted to approach: my mentor!I gritted my teeth and only missed jumping up.I suffer. "You're so stubborn!" He re-dipped his cigarette in disappointment. I didn't say anything more.I keep my eyes closed.Waited like this until he left. This time I was shut down for about two or three hours.It was evening when I walked out of the dark room, the sun had not yet set, and it was dazzlingly bright outside.Walking under the dazzling sunset, I think that from now on, those illusory thoughts will be gone.The desperation I had long known was just another confirmation.Well, come on, I'm here waiting. Just worried about my tutor. Then people were called away one after another, and they were all people who had a lot of contact with the mentor.Some were locked in that small dark room for six to seven hours, and were constantly pushed, fucked and scolded.One of them couldn't take it anymore and had a heart attack... I mustered up the courage to go to the top, and complained about what happened, but the receptionist was very indifferent.But he still said that he would intervene—I don't know what "interrogate" means, does it mean "prevent"?In this way, I left with a little hope and confusion. "Interfering" doesn't seem to mean "preventing", because we are still watching people being interrogated one after another.Finally someone couldn't bear it anymore and went directly to the leaders of the harassers. Unexpectedly, the other party's answer was: We have never heard of such a thing! This is really strange!But based on experience, it is absolutely impossible for so many people to be interrogated and detained for a short period of time by "Porcelain Eyes".Since this is the case, we have no choice but to expose it mercilessly. The interrogation is still going on, and the "Porcelain Eyes" shouted: "Tell you guys, don't try to slip away if you don't confess well. It seems that this time someone is going to go in and squat for a while... The director is not an ordinary person , how can you slander at will?" I was also told to go to that hut.I just ignore it.I'm ready for everything. A follower of "Porcelain Eyes" met me in the corridor of the building. He stared at me for a while like an awl, and asked in a low voice: "Do you want to get through it? I advise you to take the initiative, so as not to take the medicine of regret..." I just said Feel itchy fist.I asked: "What's the relationship between you and the gang who illegally interrogated people? Why do you force me to urge me? What do you want to do? "The man jerked aside, blinked, and shouted: "This is what you said, you remember, you remember!" He ran away. I rushed straight to the third floor and slammed on the door of "Porcelain Eyes" office.I knocked furiously, because I heard his door was hard to knock; because the fellow always had a lot of women in his house.Someone really wants to find him, even if he lives next door, he has to call... The son of a bitch, it's driving people crazy, and it's business as usual on his side.I wanted to kick the door open with my foot.After knocking for three to five minutes, a stranger came over and said with a dark face, "Stop knocking, the director is in the hospital!" There are many people in the building, and there are often people who have never seen them before. No one can figure out where they come from, whether they occupy the official establishment of the institute, what they do, and so on.But one thing is for sure, they are all "porcelain-eyed" people. "Porcelain Eye" has occupied a high-class room in a health ward for a long time, and has to go there several times a year, although there is no serious illness.He hid in at this time, apparently with ulterior motives. Sure enough, a few days later someone spread the news: the director was slandered by the slander, he was ill, suffered a lot of physical and mental injuries, and was hospitalized; up... Some people still came to summon them, each time getting worse.I refused the arraignment and refused to go to work.Friends rarely come to play, they are all in a panic.Late one night, a person who had been interrogated many times came to me and whispered, "What should I do? It's broken. They seem to have to find out one or two people... They led me to say that the deputy director, and, and You... I can't make up nonsense. I said that about the director, I actually know it in the building, and people often talk about it... I said this sentence without thinking, and they immediately seized the threat: Who said it, who talked about it? Say it, say it, if you can’t tell it, you are spreading rumors! They wrote down what I said, and made me put my fingerprints on it... Oops!" I comfort him.Later he cried.The man who was almost forty years old was crying with his shoulders twitching. It was uncomfortable to watch.I tried to cheer him up, but it didn't work.He has been completely enveloped in fear.In the end, I also told a piece of news: the people from "Porcelain Eyes", together with the group conducting the interrogation, are currently moving the files of some people in the building! "Why?" "Because someone wrote an anonymous letter scolding the director, and they wanted to check the handwriting——specially looking for someone with skills in this field..." For a long time my head was buzzing. The word "file" made me think of Bai Lao's rage, and the articles he wrote around my "file"—especially my father, my wandering in the mountains... In one sentence: "Ok……" "What should I do?" He looked at me like a child. I held his hand tightly... and we walked on.There were no stars in the sky, and it was overcast and dark.Due to the lack of electricity in this city, the sparse street lights are like fireflies.The north wind knocked off the iron sheet on a small roof, making a loud noise.He turned around an alley, wrapped himself in his clothes and ran away. Just when I walked into the stairs of the dormitory building, two people happened to go downstairs.I couldn't see my face clearly in the dark corridor, so the two of them deliberately took a step in the middle, blocking me.I tried to lean over to pass them, but they squeezed in there on purpose.After flashing twice and blocking twice like this, I understood everything.My fists are tightly clenched in my pockets, I, I am just alone, I have no worries - I have no relatives in this world... The one on the left quickly twisted my hand, and at the same time, it was hard on my knees hit me.The excruciating pain made me bend over and almost rolled down the stairs.But I finally grabbed hold of the railing and slammed into it with all my strength... The guy fell, and the other one pulled out a rubber stick and hit me on the back—if I didn't dodge, it would hit me in the face superior.I rushed forward desperately, just as I grabbed the hand holding the rubber stick, the guy who fell to the ground just now grabbed my leg.I fell down the stairs and rolled a few more times.They jumped up together... That night was the worst physical torture I have suffered since I left the mountain.I couldn't move or want to move for several hours. There was a lot of blood coming out of my nose and also in my mouth.I lay on the landing until dawn. At some point, the building began to quiet down.It seems that the higher-ups intervened a bit, the guys who secretly reviewed the files slipped away, and the subpoenaers disappeared. The building was dead silent again.During this period, some people jointly signed a letter to appeal, and friends outside the 03 Institute were very indignant when they heard the harassment, and they all helped in various ways-probably all of these contributed to the current ending. But I believe that my friends and I will never forget this in our lifetime. ... What was left to us seemed to be ten times crueler than expected - I didn't even have time to bandage the wound, and I was about to rush to my mentor's sickbed.He vomited blood again, returned from the field survey camp, and had to go to the hospital again and again for examination. "Porcelain Eye" still stayed in the hospital, and the whole building was still filled with his aura. As the deputy director of the department, my mentor couldn't even get out of a car when he went to the hospital for an examination.The person in charge of the vehicle said with a smile: "It's too late to say hello, and all the vehicles have been dispatched. There is really no way."Everyone understood that this was deliberately making things difficult, because the drivers of the small car class in the parking lot downstairs were all playing poker there... I was not there at the time, and I don’t know how my mentor ended up in the hospital.But it was indeed the last time he needed to use a public vehicle during his lifetime, because he was never released from the hospital after undergoing this examination. The result of the examination was advanced gastric cancer. The doctor said there was no hope.I lay down beside the teacher's bed, trying not to shed tears.He looked at me with a smile and asked me what I was up to during this period?What's with the bruise on my face?I don't want to tell him those things.The wound was caused by falling in the dark... His withered hand caressed my scarred face so warmly.For this touch, I will love and hate all my life, and never forget it.I will be happy and grateful for the memory of this caress.I told him: I know everything, the teacher shouldn't torture myself like this... He looked at me calmly, with his fingers stuck in my dirty hair: "I thought there was enough time, but it's just a little tight, now look... ..." I couldn't bear it anymore, and almost shouted: "Teacher, follow the doctor's arrangement, and operate quickly!" He nodded. About to be ready for surgery.The doctor conducted another series of examinations, and then had someone notify the unit and family members.People from the unit came late, and the one who came was a deputy director who was engaged in administration, frowning from beginning to end.He was told by the doctor that the unit needs people on duty and people who need to accompany the bed, and he frowned. In half a day, more than a dozen people poured into the hospital—they were chased away by the hospital staff and came again, crying.More people looked at the patients curled up on the bed through the crack of the door, bowing their heads sadly.Doctors keep most people out.I proposed that I should be on duty myself, and at most I could find another person. Until the end, the relatives did not come.The instructor neither agreed nor objected to finding relatives, but moved his lips and said the phone number and so on.We all know that he has been separated from his lover for more than 20 years and has been living alone... Surgery was impossible, because the doctors told me after consultation that it was too late. This last decision made me unable to bear it any longer.I hid in the hallway and cried for a while. The instructor called me, and as soon as the faint voice reached my eardrums, I quickly wiped away my tears... His withered hand was out, out, and I ran to grab it.His voice became weaker and weaker: "... I have given you all my notes, and..." It was the longest, hardest night I've ever had.The pain began to torment him, and he endured it, trying not to moan.This reminded me of the teeth knocking and breath holding I often heard at night when I was working in the field. It turned out that he had already started to endure it.I begged the doctor for painkiller injections, several times in one night.He occasionally fell into a coma, but when he woke up, he stretched out his arms to look for me... I kept lying beside his bed. One day, two days, and the third night he vomited blood again.This time I vomited so fiercely that I couldn't seem to stop.I screamed in fright, holding his back and shouting.There were pattering footsteps in the hallway, doctors came running...my left side was covered in his blood.His head was tilted to one side. He was unconscious.He never woke up again. My mentor was gone, and the building has been empty ever since.I stepped on the corridor and stepped on the steps, as if I was walking into a wilderness.Here for the first time the smell of death overwhelmed the smell of sensuality.Those men and women stayed in the corner for the time being and stopped running around.They used to swim swiftly and shamelessly like daytime mice. ... Master Hu, this is almost the whole process of my participation in the so-called "dispute".Do you really think it was a snob who fell?He maintained human dignity until the end.What he faced was a male beast full of scabies. Your credulity, your well-meaning accusations have hurt me deeply.I want to give up the opportunity to answer your rebuttal several times, because this is almost superfluous.At that time, I was so oppressed by depression and anger that I couldn't breathe, and my heart was like stagnant water.All I could see was the mess made by that male evil beast.It took me a long time to heal the trauma, chewing on the past-I can't help but miss your kind eyes shining under your silver hair, so I finally tell you.I think it's not just about my mentor's personal history of suffering, but about me, you, him—all of us.This is not an apology for myself, but for all of us - those who can be called "human beings". I have witnessed the death of several people: the most loyal manservant in my grandfather’s family, the grandfather who later built the thatched hut in the forest; my grandmother; the geography teacher I met in the mountains; and my tutor in 03.They have become part of my life.They are my mentors, elders, relatives, and they are the most trustworthy people in my mind.But they died.This cannot but make me think about death. It turns out that it is so close to all the beautiful life, but it seems so far away from those maggots and beasts.The mystery of death is infinitely greater than the splendor of life.It is impossible for man to ignore death, but he cannot be afraid of death.Some of the most beautiful lives in life are suddenly interrupted, so what is there to worry about? If you are not afraid of death, then all that remains is to focus on living a beautiful life.They will live forever in our hearts and never fade away.We have not done all we can to keep them until now, and we have tolerated their destruction occasionally and to varying degrees.So our current nostalgia, careful maintenance, and full of love are nothing but a kind of redemption. Remembering them, I feel guilty about myself.Those smiling or silent faces showed strength without exception.Their strength lies in their purity, and a person is noble only when he is pure.Half a lifetime passed before I had an important realization of the concept of "nobleness."This is so important to me.Man should be noble. In order to pursue nobility, people can be poor and die.This is the unchanging truth.The knowledge about it has always existed in the hearts of some people.But what exactly are they relying on to convey this knowledge into the distant future?I have been puzzled. In the past, I used to think that relying on classics, that is, paper pages and bamboo slips, now I see how shallow this understanding is.Text can only provide proof of the past, a record and a reminder, but it is difficult to form the most powerful link of succession.In fact, the real secret of transmission lies in the blood. ... If people are desperate to avoid danger, pursue their own interests, and satisfy their desires, there is no essential difference from animals.Humanity is synonymous with dignity and ideal.If an era is based on the premise and price of satisfying and stimulating human animality, then this era will be an ugly and predatory era.This age may gather crude wealth, but it will be punished and cursed because it loots and tramples the past and the future.Ugly times are times when there is no retreat. The "porcelain eyes" of our building have no choice but to use the traditional killers: money and sex, in carrying out their plans.This puts him in the same vein as all the enemies of man, and their methods are indistinguishable.On the one hand, they try their best to speculate and make money destructively, and distribute subsidies; on the other hand, they secretly encourage and practice vulgar sexual relationships.In such a serious institution, pornographic pictures and magazines can be seen everywhere.People's heartstrings are loosened, their expressions are blurred, their sharp edges are broken, and their courage is lost.No one focuses on principles any more, and it becomes a common phenomenon; as long as they don't commit appalling evils with their own hands, they are already rare good people.People's requirements for morality and responsibility have dropped to the lowest point in history. But a really simple person, a man of culture and intelligence, will instinctively resist, and he will never be indifferent. ——Because such a person is in such a building, it is tantamount to stepping into a terrible desert.He couldn't hear the echo, he could only watch helplessly as the boundless scorched sand sucked up the last drop of water on his body. "Porcelain Eyes" satisfies almost all "people", because he discovered and excavated the animal nature in the human body and represented them intensively. Why am I amazed?Because in addition to facing these bloodstains, you also have to face the terrible "similarity". The walking trajectory of "Porcelain Eyes" and Bai Lao, the way they deal with "rivals", and the process of sucking and possessing are all surprisingly similar.They have all seized labor, and have used the turmoil and chaos unique to an era to destroy obstacles from the body to the spirit in places such as labor camps, industrial mines, kilns, and wilderness. The sameness, the repetition without mind, not only shows the dryness of some people's imagination, but also shows a certain kind of madness and shamelessness; at the same time, it also highlights how thorough people's tolerance, indifference and forgetting are... Even more terrifying.The ugliness and cruelty constantly use "similarity" to stimulate and remind us, but we just turn a blind eye. But luckily there are some exceptions.Like my mentor, he memorized every detail, so someone had to grind and erase his memory.He looks back tenaciously, someone wears down tenaciously.A persistent resistance eventually exhausted my mentor and made him terminally ill.If you don't understand this long-lasting resistance, you won't understand why all the cruelty happened and why it repeats again and again-it turns out that what they fear is not a certain person, but the spirit he represents and radiates, a spirit that is radiated by Inherited from generation to generation and stifled from generation to generation, and always survived in the end-spirit! They are so terrified. For all that, they're ridiculously cumbersome and laborious at times.Anyone who sees my mentor, sees his frail body and the appearance of devoting all his energy to his career, will be confused by the "porcelain eye" group's mobilization of teachers: this is unnecessary. Using people in the underworld to subpoena and secretly search files is just a desperate move for them.And there have been more clumsy, absurd attempts before.They hardly miss an opportunity to do something - as long as the other person doesn't give up the memory, they don't.They do not allow a person to have a memory.It seems that memory is a very special thing, it can burn and flow along the blood... Because my mentor enjoys an unshakable position in the academic world, his achievements and character are admirable, so "porcelain eyes" can't help it for a while.He always wanted to set a checkpoint that he couldn't pass, but unfortunately it was always difficult to achieve. In my second year in XX, I was catching up with the large-scale qualification inspection activities of relevant departments.This investigation is said to be very important, and a secret ballot is adopted. There are three columns "competent", "incompetent" and "basically competent" on the vote for filling in.If a person's "incompetence" vote exceeds half, it will be "reconsidered". This is actually a boring game.For "Porcelain Eyes", it seems that a small opportunity has come.They mobilized urgently, but on the surface they pretended to be nothing.There is something strange about the atmosphere in the building, but that's only apparent on closer inspection.I didn't know anything about the inside story at that time, and it was basically "a blank sheet of paper".So the people around "Porcelain Eyes" listed me as one of their people - they saw no reason why the newcomer wouldn't fall into their arms.First, they changed the office for me, and transferred me from a four-person room to a two-person room, and the treatment seemed to be improved.From then on, there was a fat woman at the table.She speaks quickly, loves to laugh, and frowns when she laughs; she carries a lunch box inside and out, which contains ribs, pickles, snacks, and even halva.When she is happy, she can pinch something to eat at any time, and she insists on me to taste it.If I didn't eat it, she stuffed it into my mouth and muttered, "You little wolf mouth!" I became a "wolf".Am I so terrible in her eyes?What she tucked in was a hunk of pickle, so salty and sweet it made you shiver—it was amazing how a woman could chew something like that when she had nothing to do. She was excited every time she ate, walked up and down the room, and said: "I hate those people who run around during working hours the most. They don't work hard, from one room to another room-do you know what the director and this are called? It's called the hall!..." She often said to herself , It also seems to sneak in to pass on some knowledge and news to me, such as "lunar eclipse at 19:10 on July 17", "the third director may be promoted, and an old girl helped him", "Both men and women..." This time, she angrily scolded my later mentor, the deputy director, calling him a "hypocrite", a "scumbag", "a white-eyed wolf who eats inside and out", "the most stingy", and "more ambitious than anyone else". , "Maybe she's still a pervert"... I didn't know much about the person she scolded at the time, I just thought it was an introverted person with an extremely rigorous work attitude.She said in my ear: "It deserves it, he will be inspected this month-you must fill in the incompetence!" I took a look at her and saw that she had a double chin and a golden Buddha hanging from her wide open chest. She frowned and said harshly, "Did you hear that?" "……I heard." "you swear!" I stared at her blankly.I saw that her empty eyes were watery now.It seems that she has a huge grievance in her heart, and she has just found a chance for revenge, and she will rush over like a ghost at any time.I say: "I wouldn't swear on something like that..." "But everyone swears!" ...there is no further discussion.I've noticed something.Only then did I realize how boring and rancid this eerie building was.I thought about it carefully when I was filling out the inspection ticket, and based on my own feelings and impressions, I carefully filled in the word "competent" for my future mentor.I feel more calm. I only found out afterwards that when the people around "Porcelain Eyes" learned about the investigation, they took action about two months in advance and sent people to do the work one by one.Probably I was the object of being "stared" by fat women.They also sent backbones to drive to several field operation camps below to do work one by one; and according to the different situations of the people they talked to, they made wishes and bribed them separately; , Treat guests to dinner; if still unsuccessful, isolate and threaten the other party as much as possible.It is unbelievable that they also specially printed the so-called "comparison table", which listed the great achievements of the director and the evil deeds of another person-since they were all fabricated, so these "comparison tables" "Copying is not allowed, and the originals are numbered and taken back afterwards, which is surprisingly strict.Those who agree to vote no must be told again and again, and finally swear, and they must also swear "poisonous oath"——I first understood what "poisonous oath" is: that is, the "oath" is read out by the swearer, Then he said that if he violated his "oath", he would suffer such evil retribution, and his dear ones would suffer such evil retribution... Not only that, but also to insult a certain person to the greatest extent, and at the same time express unparalleled respect to the director respect. Having made a "poisonous oath" seems to be foolproof.But things are far from that simple.Because the voting place is located in the conference hall of the building, the hall is very large, and voters can sit far away from others, so the office suggested to compile a seating order table—everyone must sit in the designated position.In this way, someone secretly warned the voters: We all know whether you voted according to your oath in the end, because there are people from us behind you, around you!Those who were warned tremblingly replied: I will definitely... Thus began an unheard of, most shameless and boring voting.The result is not ideal for anyone.For my mentor, he got far fewer positive votes than he deserved.This is by no means his misfortune. Those who voted no, a large proportion of them were students of the mentor, who grew up under his direct and indirect guidance.They drank their mother's milk dry, only to be driven back to bite her; if possible, to tear her bloody.There is nothing more shameless and unrighteous than this in the world.Of course, those who do this are all hopeless students in their studies and life. All of this, to put it simply, is just such a story: how a few wretches besieged a genius... To my mentor this was, of course, a trifling and ridiculous episode; but in its revealed nature it was despairing enough.Man's treachery and unrighteousness, shame and disgrace can reach such a degree. After that, I paid attention to the eyes of several people: they all grew up under the careful feeding of the mentor, listened to his teachings with their own ears, and absorbed nutrition drop by drop, but at that moment they cruelly threw stones.The pain caused by disobedience and injustice made them dare not face up to others. They looked like cowards and looked more humble than before. caught by misfortune. As for those diehards around the "porcelain eyes", their faces were ashamed because of disappointment and jealousy after this.They were too optimistic before this, and they didn't understand until they died: Calculated based on the number of people who swore poisonous oaths, received benefits, and received threats, no matter how conservative they are, they will not only receive these negative votes!What's going on here? 尽管这只是一场小测验，一次资格考查，但因为涉及到如此严重的事实而使我倍加重视——不得不认真对待知识分子的判断。 因为谁也不能否认，参加者百分之九十都是专业人员，都是有一定资历的○三所人士。那么再苛刻一点的要求都是应该的。可怜的是，一场最不可思议的无聊又无耻的游戏就在这所大楼里发生了。 这就有理由让我们思考和怀疑：即便在所谓"知识分子成堆"的地方，也并没有太多的知识分子——真正的知识分子。他们在基本的、并不复杂的检验面前，很容易就显露了自己的卑贱。 真正的知识分子应该有起码的洁净。首先是心灵的洁净，其次才是专业上的造诣。污浊的人是不会有好的判断的，污浊是罪恶蔓延的根源。 我同时还注意过我的导师。他刚开始对这一切只是有所察觉——面对一场围剿自己的阴谋毫无警觉是不可能的；但他无论如何不会想到在这样一次微不足道的活动中，有人竟会花费如此巨大的精力、动用如此原始的方法去运作。这真是令人难以置信的荒唐和可笑。他在事后知道了这些，虽然略有吃惊，但还是微笑了一下。这笑容是温和的、遗憾的和藐视的，更包含了深深的同情。 我会永远记住他的微笑。 那些丑类在这永恒的微笑中将永远卑贱着、绝望着；那些苟活者在这永恒的微笑中会因百无聊赖而煎熬着、痛苦着。 他们在这无所不在的微笑中绝找不到其他出路。 我因导师的死想到了父亲。他曾被我恨了好久，我长久以来都把整个家族的不幸、把一切的责任记在了他的身上。因为我亲眼见过他在最后的几年里怎样折磨小茅屋里的人。他去世时我没能守在身边——这也免除了一生的记忆之苦。