Chapter 13 Chapter 13

Miss Jin went to the city to go to school two days after watching the lantern festival.According to the usual practice, she will not go home during the stipulated longer holidays.One is that there is no mother's caress at home to make her attached; the other is that graduation is at the end of the year, and homework is even more important. In order to prepare for the internship in the affiliated elementary school next semester, I have to borrow some books on children's education from the library. Look, the time at school is very full, and I will never think of going home again.For the latter, I didn't even go home during the one-week spring break.

But it would not be accurate to say that she never thought of going home.That young man with a sincere and gentle temperament, such an excellent and upright demeanor, has already invaded her heart unconsciously and occupies a not insignificant place in her heart.Several meetings, every word and every gesture of his, she kept in her heart meticulously, and often chewed carefully to discern the sweet aftertaste.Especially when he talked with Lu at the Lantern Festival, he directly expressed his own thought process, and he encouraged her to move towards the ideal state, which made her grateful and excited, and realized the joy of youth that she should enjoy but had never enjoyed before. .That night, the weather was so mild, the twilight starlight illuminated the field into a dreamlike realm, the sound of gongs and drums, the sound of silk and bamboo, and the noise of the crowd all contained the power of excitement, and he walked beside her shoulders. ——Later, when she remembered that time and walked backwards, she felt disturbed, and seemed to think in disbelief, "Did that really happen?"—She glanced at his hazy silhouette from time to time, and felt that he had never Hair, forehead, nose, mouth, neck, chest, all the curves are not inappropriate, and there is an image of beauty.At the same time, his breath was breathed evenly and slightly hastily, she heard and smelled it; a slight numb feeling spread all over her body, and the sense of smell was unusually pleasant, but she couldn't describe what kind of flower or what kind of fragrance it was. A similar taste.She was intoxicated, so she looked at him more greedily; if it hadn't been for the twilight starlight, he would have seen the passionate fire burning in her twinkling black pupils. ... She recalled that, first with the secret joy that a poor-looking man feels when he surreptitiously checks his rich savings.But after chewing, although the aftertaste is sweet, it is not enough; an unknowable force urges her to taste a fresher and sweeter taste.At this moment, what flashed in my mind like lightning was the idea of ​​buying a boat and returning home.

However, it is not allowed by the school regulations to ask for leave and go back. There must be a leave form signed and stamped by the parents.How can I ask my elder brother to write a leave letter?Even if asking for leave is not a problem, if you waste your homework and change your old habits, how can you explain yourself?At the same time, a stern voice sounded in my heart: "That is a shameless act, and an innocent woman should not think like that. Forget it, forget it, or you will degenerate, degenerate into unfathomable immorality the bottom of the sea!" Hearing that voice, she was ashamed and frightened, and the idea of ​​buying a boat and returning home was suppressed.

Said to be restrained, but it could not be completely undone; she really wanted to talk to Ni Huanzhi, and listen to him talk about ideals, education and other things.Because the stern voice in her heart was always calling there, her memories and desires became more secretive; for example, in front of her classmates, she dared not think about those, as if they were the stern voice.She thought that most of those times were when she was in bed and closed in the curtain, otherwise she would have to spread a book in front of her eyes, as if the curtain and the book could separate her from that stern voice.If the students observe carefully, they will definitely find her recent changes, although only subtle ones.She is still meditating, but when she is meditating, she often raises her upper eyelids halfway, and her eyes glance aimlessly; this is a sign of restlessness, which was never there before.She also likes to be alone in one place, in the classroom, in the study room, on the sports field, it is even better if she can not be with others, although she does not obviously refuse other people's company and chat; Without revealing any secrets.The classmates trusted and respected her too much, it seemed that she was the only one who had absolutely no chance for the kind of yearning and boredom tricks that other girls tend to make; so she completely ignored her subtle changes, and still discussed with her For everything, ask her to help solve problems and omissions in homework, and call her "our beautiful and intelligent sister Jin" in a charming and non-obscene manner.

"Why did you tell him not to send letters? What does it matter if he talks about education and other bright words, and the supervisor sees them? And for me, receiving such a letter would be such a joy and ecstasy! . . . Don't write, you idiot!" She was so remorseful that she thought why not send him a letter first.But this only made her feel that her face was hot, and she knew it was red; but in the end she didn't write the letter.She imagined this again with fanciful joy: when his letter came, in the hand of the housekeeper's wife, the old woman looked at her like a detective, and asked her who wrote the letter, when she would how to answer. "It's a cousin, and he's a cousin," she replied warmly to the imaginary housekeeper's wife, and at the same time imagined receiving that lovely letter with a proud attitude of "you can't control me".But the reality immediately reminded her that there was no letter in the hands of the housekeeper's wife, and deceitful answers and proud expressions were all useless; she felt relieved.He hated himself for not having a real cousin.If there is a cousin, it is common for letters to come and go; from the hand of the inmate who is looking for faults, receiving a letter written by a man without any scruples, even without asking what is written in the middle, that kind of touch Can He Huanxi talk and think all the time?

In short, she was caught in the web of love.Although she was caught in the net of love, she would not abandon everything and only focus on one side; this is because the desire to survive independently has attracted her for several years, and it still has a strong force until now. Huanzhi's several explanations made her unable to recall afterwards. After all, there were more imitation elements and less real feeling elements.There is no such thing as shedding tears of lovesickness or feeling overwhelmed by shadows, she has not reached that level yet. The summer vacation is approaching, and the eagerness to return home is gradually growing, almost as if I can't wait; this is also different from the past.Finally the day of vacation has arrived.She got up very early, loaded the luggage that she had packed the day before on the boat hired by her family to pick her up, and urged Ah Tu, who was rocking the boat, to set off.Looking at the lotus on both sides, the green rice in the field, the tall trees in the shade, and the peaceful village houses, I feel very fresh and lovely, as if opening up a world that I have never experienced before.However, a feeling of almost melancholy gradually disturbed her heart, and she felt that it was inappropriate to lean against the side of the ship in this way.So I lay down half-length and looked at the magazine I bought recently. It was the very popular "New Youth".However, what can be seen clearly are the characters printed on lead molds one by one, but what is not clearly seen is the meaning expressed by the connection of each word.Why can't my heart be at peace?She put down the magazine, and asked herself knowingly but as if she didn't know at all.After half a year's absence, how is the school's new facilities going?Has the gentle and good man changed?Does he have any fresh ideals to show off other people's eyes like treasures?Is there any lovely discussion about music that generally entertains other people's minds?Regarding these, she couldn't form a rough answer.It seems that the impressions of several meetings that were not vague at ordinary times, those conversations, those gestures, have now faded and become hazy.The feeling of emptiness was turbulent in her heart, and she even thought of "Where are you going now?" The idea was exactly the opposite of the longing for returning home.Wait for him to visit me at home, or go to school to find him?Could he have gone back already?What did you talk about when you met him?How can I satisfy my desire to find him for several months? ... As for this series of other questions, she could only hesitate, unable to make a decision; therefore, timidity entered her heart.

The boat sailed early, although the wind was not strong, it was downwind, and we arrived before twelve o'clock.The sound of cicadas echoed here and there, the lazy and heat-sensitive gray cat took a nap under the rattan shed, and the faint scent of Jianlan was protected by a soft green curtain. Miss Jin met her brother and sister-in-law in such an environment.During the conversation, I knew that Gao Xiaoli had another week of summer vacation; of course Huanzhi didn't go back. He came here after dinner yesterday to chat and enjoy the cool, and eat freshly picked watermelons from the school farm.This made Miss Jin feel that her heart was full again, and the complicated but comforting thoughts sprouted like spring grass.She casually talked about some ridiculous and interesting trifles in the female teacher's school to cover up her unreasonable excitement.

Shubo told her that Gao Xiaoli had encountered a storm, and said that the letter could not write them all, so he simply did not write.Ms. Jin said that she also saw a little bit from the newspapers in the city, but she didn't go into details, and there was no beginning and no end. What's going on? "They are too reckless in their affairs. For example, a driver closes his eyes and concentrates on pulling the rein in his hand. Sooner or later, the car will be knocked over." Shubo started like this, and then explained the cause and process of the turmoil in detail. .In the end, he said boastfully: "It's a good thing I went to Jiang Huhu and told him transparently that the school is not fat, and what they do is not the worst thing, so don't get in the way. He finally agreed with me. If you have friendship, tell me honestly, there is no need to talk about whether it is fat meat now, because he doesn’t really want to eat it. It’s just that Jiang Bingru is acting like a serious person, and he looks like a gentleman. He doesn’t like it, so give him a little color. And, He also sincerely objected to everything Jiang Bingru did. I explained on behalf of Bingru that there was nothing wrong with Bingru, but he was a bit of a scholar who didn't understand world affairs. I also said Bingrui has no grudges at all. Bingru admires some of the things he does in the local area. He often says that it would be great if there were more people who are enthusiastic about social affairs like that; Said. I also said many other things; like a matchmaker, in short, try to draw the two parties together until they stick together. Then he changed his mind and generously said that since this is the case, he will donate his ancestral wasteland. For the school, there is no mention of the lawsuit. Of course, needless to say, he also got some practical benefits--he never did the thing of returning empty-handed. Then, the general opposition in the town gradually subsided, and the school The farm here is finally a success."

Miss Jin listened attentively; thoughts of indignation surged in her heart, and her disapproving eyes stared directly at Uncle Shu's face, as if she was the one who was being bullied by the local tyrant.In the end, when she heard that the farm was finally successful, a look of leisurely contemplation appeared between her brows; she wanted to describe in her imagination the farm full of vitality and a paradise full of educational significance.Resting her cheek with her left hand, she asked with interest, "Is it doing well?" "It's not bad. It's roughly the same as an ordinary garden, but it's neater and has some ornamental flowers and trees. You don't know that Mr. Li, who taught science, resigned because he had a better job. Huanzhi took over from him. homework. So Huanzhi is also in charge of the farm affairs."

"He!" Ms. Jin felt very pleasantly surprised, "He likes to talk about innovative education, and it would be best if he took care of this new business." Uncle Shu's nearsighted eyes widened a little, and he took a fixed look at Miss Jin.Only then did she realize that her tone was almost excited; her face felt slightly hot. "He was very happy at first," the tree uncle smiled, with a hint of irony, "when he met me, he always said that something was planted and something sprouted, as if he was a big landowner, and the harvest would increase in the future He seems to have infinite wealth, but lately, I see him a little bit in decline."

"Why?" Although Miss Jin deliberately restrained herself, she couldn't hide her concerned expression. "I don't know why. Last night he said something like this: ideals are very happy, but they will be compromised when they are realized; maybe there is such a thing. If it is not for the lack of interest, he, who likes ideals, Would he say something like that? Besides, he hasn't talked about the farm or anything for a while." As if she had heard rumors that someone she was related to was sick, Miss Jin felt melancholy and anxious.Has he discovered that this new facility is harmful rather than beneficial?Did he encounter obstacles from the sidelines in his progress?Judging from the previous meetings, he seems to be a person who is always diligent, and it is absolutely impossible to get in touch with him when he is not in the mood.However, he has indeed confided his distressed feelings. ——As she thought this way, her desire to see him grew stronger; she seemed to have many questions to ask him, and many comforting words to say to him, although when she thought about it again, those words were very vague, even to the point of carelessness. Also elusive. "There's more than one farm for their new tricks," Uncle Shu's brother and sister kept silent, continuing as if catering to her interest, "the stage has also been built, the music room has also been arranged, and the store has also opened. I heard There will be more workshops in half a year." "That's worth seeing. I've never seen a school like that before," Miss Jin said, fearing that her brother and sister-in-law would blame her for rushing to the school. "You can go check it out." "Yes, I want to go today," she straightened herself up, brushing her forehead with her hands up, as if she was going to leave immediately. "Have been on the boat for half a day, isn't it hard? I just want to go, at four or five o'clock in the afternoon. Now the sun is so strong, and the road between the open fields is almost impossible to walk." Miss Jin had no reason to say that she must go immediately, so she went back to her room upstairs.I wanted to tidy up the books I brought back, but I felt impatient as soon as I thought about it, so I retracted my hands and let the basket with a full belly stay aside.She walked back and forth, with all kinds of emotions floating in her heart, relief, timidity, sympathy, annoyance, like bubbles in a stream, one popped up and immediately burst, and a second came.Just two or three hours later, she was about to meet a man who touched her heart even though she was not in love, and fulfilled the desire that had lasted for almost half a year: this was something she had never experienced before.For a while, she felt that the time was too long; for a while, she felt that it was running too fast. Why did the shadow of the sun reflected from the curtain pattern become more and more skewed!She opened the small round window on the wall, and saw that the fields, bushes, and village houses seemed to be covered with a slightly throbbing heat, reflecting the dazzling light.He closed the window quickly, and went to comb the newly cut row of forehead hair.With that row of forehead hair, it adds to the elegant demeanor; especially when viewed from the side, the forehead hair with long eyelashes and two green snail-like buns attached to the back of the head perfectly constitutes a beautiful woman side silhouette.Suddenly, she noticed from the mirror that her face was red, and her eyes were shining with a strange light as if she was drunk; a ray of shame came to her heart, and her eyes immediately avoided the mirror.