Chapter 7 Chapter 07

Miss King's mother died when she was twelve years old.Although she doesn't read much, she can only make simple sentences with a pen; but losing her mother is the most serious and intimate homework, which gave her a knowledge of life far beyond the level of reading and writing.There is nothing wrong with her brother and sister-in-law treating her, but she knows that she should be careful everywhere; she wants something in her heart, but she suppresses it as soon as she thinks about it, and the desire is buried in the bottom of her heart, and finally disappears; She paused for a while, and only kept thinking about it in her heart: she always reminded herself of this sentence, "Now is no better than when my mother was alive!" She pays close attention to the so-called "household affairs" of many families in the town, the increase or loss of property , The sale of utensils, the disputes between father and son, brothers, sisters-in-law, and aunts-in-law, not only took the trouble to understand them one by one, but also thought back and forth here and there, as if to penetrate the mystery inside.Pay special attention to the story of the girl after she got married: a lady from a certain family married a rich young man, and everyone praised it as a happy marriage; but the young man took opium and shrugged his shoulders like a beggar on the road.A lady from a certain family married a middle-aged gentry, and everyone believed that she could rely on her for life; but the gentry also accepted favors, and regarded the official wife as a passerby.There are countless tricks, but they can be included in one sentence: a woman is dependent on others when she gets married, and relying on others is only bitter and rarely happy.And, even those "household chores" can be distracting enough.From here, naturally arises the desire for self-existence.

In the year she graduated from girls' high school, Uncle Shu often looked at her lightly and said that it was fine after girls graduated from high school.Going up further, there is a girls' middle school, but no girls' university, what's the point!If you talk about entering a women's normal school, you can't compete to be a primary school teacher.What he meant was naturally that she had a dowry passed down from her father, and that she was going to get married, and she would bear the responsibility of all women's unavoidable talents. She was just growing up, and she was holding the indelible pain of losing her mother. She was sentimental and neurotic, which was a matter of course; listening to what her brother said, it seemed that she was dragging her into a dark hell. The weeping of time, nothing else pleases me.However, the fantasy about the future came out to urge her, and made her muster up the courage to fight against fate (although what she encountered was not such a vicious fate).She told her brother that she wanted to have a career, and she wanted to rely on her career to support herself.Teacher, she thinks it's reasonable, and it's not a boring thing, so she's going to take the female teacher's exam.

Uncle Shu, who has just come out of school, has dealt with housework and land property for a while, and believes that a person has to rely on something.Hearing my sister's words about career, self-reliance, and so on, I couldn't help showing a contemptuous smile.Later, it was useless to insist on stopping her, so he just said in a tone of pity that it was hard to live outside the school. She is not afraid of the hardships of living in school.Even if it is really hard, such as weathering the wind and frost, and enduring the hunger and cold, she is still willing to go, as long as the goal of self-reliance can be achieved.

In the Women's Normal School, she was an almost exemplary student.She is not like the daughter of some rich and gentry families in the city, the cans of snacks are stuffed in the drawer, the skins and cores of fruits are often kept by the pillow, and she holds a mirror after class.She is not like many of her classmates who formed a friendship more than a friend two by two, so nostalgia, tenderness, jealousy, and rebellion formed various stories.She pays attention to all her homework; she is familiar with the equations, the system of the past dynasties, and the pronunciation of English characters; her composition is always closely circled by her husband, and there are always exaggerated comments; Teaching homework has become her new hobby. The psychological state, the form of thinking, the scope of ethics, and the meaning of education, she feels relished, the more she chews, the deeper and deeper she is. The mechanical homework of the mark is different.

In this way, she was very happy, and her previous nervous tendency seemed to be much lessened.Although I don't know what kind of state the future is in, I can already see the shadows: comfort, freedom, nobility, and success, just like the names of some trees, stones, flowers and plants over there.Sometimes she thought of or talked about a group of women who had sunk into the prison of their families. They were petty, stupid, tired, and depressed. She expressed half sympathy and half pride for them. The age of youth reveals the beauty hidden in her; like a flower; when the buds are half opened and the petals are slightly unfolded, there is a lovely posture and color, which makes people look fascinated.It can be said that her beauty lies in symmetry; the facial organs, torso and arms seem to be naturally matched in such a pair; when viewed separately, there is nothing wrong with it, but when viewed together, they feel that they echo each other and help each other; if any one of them is replaced by another Style, it will be much worse.It's a pity that the two legs are a little shorter, otherwise they would be a little more elegant.However, she made up for it by cutting her skirts longer and deliberately shortening her jacket by half an inch or three or four quarters.In addition, it seems that the skin color is too white.Except for the cheeks, even if there is no shame or joy, there is a thin layer of red, and the blood color at the bottom of the skin is not very obvious.She laughed often, but not so wildly that her two rows of fine white teeth showed a line.She often meditates again, her eyelashes drooping almost covering her eyeballs, her straight nose seems to hold mystery; when she thinks of Ming Che, her eyelids lift up as if they were opening, and her crystal black pupils shine brightly as usual.

The classmates are all on good terms with her, so close to her.When discussing something, such as buying some clothes or setting up a meeting place, everyone always said "go to Jin Peizhang".She can give others plans and instructions, and the results are all satisfactory.In terms of homework, she is also everyone's advisor. She didn't copy the notes, and she couldn't solve the calculation problems. If you ask her, she will always answer what you want.So she got a cute but not obscene title: "our beautiful and intelligent sister Jin".Calling her sister, not all of them are younger than her, in fact, they are still much older than her; it just means that she has the demeanor of an older sister.

That day, she met Bing Ruhuanzhi in the field and talked for a while, as if something stuck in her heart.Of course, this feeling is not sadness and boredom, but it is not joy or comfort, it is just such a slight, numb, excitement that stimulates her, and she can't forget it.I had lunch at Jiang's house and tasted some fresh zongzi, and it was four o'clock in the afternoon when I got home.Unconsciously told his sister-in-law: "Just now I saw Mr. Ni who my brother picked up yesterday." After I said it, I felt that it was unnecessary to say it.Although the sister-in-law agreed without paying attention, her own face couldn't help flushing.Then I went back to the upstairs room, sat down and tied a red woolen scarf.The fingers wriggled very nimbly; the gaze drooped, but did not look at the needle.She recalled the conversations on the road one by one; what she said, what others said, she didn't let a single word be missed.He especially carefully weighed his own words; it seemed that some words were not very appropriate, but after weighing them, they were not.Then I thought of the demeanor of that young man: smooth and dignified eyes, thick black and elegant eyebrows, good but not weak mouth and nose... that gentle and friendly voice, that relaxed posture with head raised and looking forward...

"Why did you think of this!" As if she had done something immoral, a burst of shame surrounded her, and she tightly closed her eyes.I didn't open it until I almost didn't want to.Put down the woolen scarf, go to the left wall, open a small round window on the wall, and look at the fields sunk in the sunset light.There are white clouds like landscape paintings floating on the sky.On the leafless branches, there are crows already.There are still a few that haven't settled down, flying around and calling non-stop.The evening wind was blowing, and it was really chilly.Several peasant women, with baskets in their arms, hurried past on the bank of the fields.She didn't care about these at all, and vaguely thought that she would go to the city to go to school the day after tomorrow.After a while, there was another flash in my heart, and I said very temptingly, "If there is such a day!"