The year before last, due to the economic downturn in the United States, business was sluggish, and there was hardly any business to do in the off-season in March.Given this rare opportunity, I booked a plane ticket and went back to Beijing. In the past ten years, it's not that I don't want to go back, it should be said that I want to go back every day, to see my relatives, old friends in the band, and neighbors around, but where can I find the time? Several times I wanted to take advantage of the long weekend in the United States to make a trip back home, but after counting, I spent two days on the road, and the remaining day, what can I do in Beijing.

This time back to Beijing, it really took the light of the economic downturn in the United States. Not long after the plane took off, I was alone, sitting in a seat near the window, and I couldn't help my nose sore and tears streaming down my face. Even I wondered myself, a big man who weighed more than 180 pounds and was in his forties, why should he be wronged and why should he cry?In order to prevent others from seeing my ugly appearance, I turned my head to the side facing the window, let my tears flow down as much as I wanted, and let my embarrassing face turn away as much as I wanted.

I have read the book "Seeing Palms Again, Seeing Palms Again" written by Yu Lihua, which describes the state of mind of a hard-working student studying abroad after ten years of absence.The book reads: "Ten years, what can I bring back? Nothing, only a broken dream, and a large stack of manuscript paper." I am not as good as her.Although, I also have a broken dream, but I don’t have that big pile of manuscript paper. Although I have a lot of property and a lot of business in the United States, I am just a zero in spirit. When the plane arrived in Beijing, I was flattered and ashamed to receive a big banquet and warm reception from my relatives and friends.

The elder brother said: "I am really honored and proud to have such a younger brother." Dad was also hoarse, and said in the tone of an eighty-year-old man: "You have added light to our family's ancestral grave." A friend of the orchestra said: "You boy, you are so blessed to return to your hometown, what kind of energy!" The old leader came over, patted me on the shoulder and said, "You come here for a while, and you don't for a while. Now you have transformed into a foreign businessman." I casually accosted, "I'm a fucking internal injury."

"What do you mean domestic businessmen? Domestic businessmen refer to those domestic small businessmen. You are an international businessman in the United States, and you are doing big business, so you are called foreign businessmen." The old leader patiently and meticulously explained to me Thought work. I wanted to open my mouth to explain a few words, but then I thought, forget it, how can I explain my internal injury clearly in a few words? So, sitting on the plane back to the United States, I had an impulse. Since my internal injury could not be explained in a few words, I slowly wrote it out.Write, always explain bit by bit.

When I arrived in New York, I bought some manuscript paper and started scribbling, writing whatever came to mind.Every day, after negotiating business with the client, returning to the factory to arrange the work, I hurried home and started writing. I wrote more and more manuscript paper, and it piled up thickly on the table. If I didn't pay attention, the dog tore it up and ate it. "What I wrote is so worthless, is it for dogs?!" I yelled at my wife. "Crazy! Write, write, write what to write all day long! If you have time to make more money, please! If you have a table of rotten paper, it is better to let the dog tear it up!" My wife does not support it.

I myself backed off, really, what am I writing!Without the slightest foundation in literature, what can be written. Looking at the pile of manuscript paper, I thought to myself, what is it? Prose, but it's too long, poetry?Don't be funny, the whole article is in vernacular, reportage?Lack of incisive analysis.Fiction?The plot is not surprising, the characters are tasteless. An old friend who studied and worked at Columbia University said to me, "You, don't bother, just write about your ten-year experience in the United States, and it will be touching enough. It’s best not to embellish the language. As for the plot, isn’t your ten-year experience enough tortuous! You can write it in an autobiographical style.”

A few words inspired me, and I followed the path he pointed out to write about my experience in the past ten years. I wanted to write a short story, but it turned into a medium-length after I wrote it again and again. When I finally finished the first draft, it became a medium-length novel. Now that the draft is finished, I don’t care what the novel is. Finally, I'm done, I rubbed my sore hands and shook my stiff neck. Give the book a name. My wife said: "People from all over the world want to come to America and realize the American dream. Let them read your book and they will know how difficult it is. Call it the American dream, or the New York dream or something."

I said too vulgar, not good. When I sorted out all the manuscript paper and read it from beginning to end, I thought I could extract a good name. I read and read, shed tears, read and read, tears fell like rain, and after reading the whole article, I also became a tearful person. "Yes, let's call it New York Tears!" I cried out as soon as I took the case. But I thought again, what's the matter, I'm looking for scolding!When I arrived in the United States, I made foreign money, turned around and accused the United States, let the Americans see it, and cursed it as a wolf-hearted dog, let the Chinese see it, and cursed it as cheap and good-looking.If you say that he is not good, come back, what kind of grandson are you pretending to be!

No, it took me a long time to try and scold me, but I don't want to do it.But the time in the United States is so precious, I have put in so much effort, nearly two years, don’t finish writing and throw it away!In fact, I just want to explain, explain that I am not a foreign businessman, I am internally injured.Really, I really don't want to scold, can't I explain a few words? America, I really don't want to scold it.Indeed, it has many good things, for example, everyone knows that the United States is a paradise for children, a battlefield for young people, and a cemetery for old people.Although it is a bit of a loss for the elderly, it is a good place for the young.As long as you work hard, are willing to work hard, are smart, and have good physical strength, there will always be a chance of success.

Although the bridge to success is narrow, long, and dangerous, there are people who can cross it, and I am one of them. However, beyond the bridge, it is not a paradise.On the other side of the bridge, there are traps and thorns all over the ground. If you don't pay attention, you will give him a good time. I wrote about the difficulty of crossing the bridge, but a lot of space was written about what happened on the other side of the bridge.Because many people don't know what will appear after crossing the bridge, why joy has turned into crying, joy into sorrow, existence into nothingness, flesh into blood, and life into death. Well, if you are scolded, just wait to be scolded, anyway, ask yourself, there is nothing wrong with it.After all, I am writing the true story of a family of new immigrants from the 1980s to the 1990s; after all, I am writing the real America. I think that if this book is really published, it will be regarded as a meaningful event. It will be helpful to those who have never been abroad, those who want to go abroad, or those who have already gone abroad. You will have a real understanding and understanding of the United States. Cao Guilin January 1991 in New York