Chapter 14 Apple tree: 6-9

Xuan: I will definitely carry out your highest instruction without compromise.Not to mention anything else, just for that set of "The Adventures of Tintin", I have to work hard.I am willing to be a benzene donkey, chasing the carrot you hang in front of me. However, you should also pay attention to your body. Next time we meet, I hope to see you gain weight.In that case, I will also reward you with a gift - a set of "Snoopy Comic Book".This is called "Using the way of the person to treat the person's body", this is the martial arts of the Murong family in Zhonggusu.

These days, my creative situation is very good. I am writing a thesis and writing some small articles at the same time.I am going to write about 100,000 words in the thesis before finishing it.Writing a big paper is like building a "Seven Treasure Tower".Generally speaking, more time is spent on pre-preparation than actual writing.With a detailed drawing in mind, construction is easy.I eat on time, go to bed on time every day, and don't waste a minute.The time for reading and writing can reach more than twelve hours a day.I hardly ever feel tired--I feel refreshed from morning till night.

Over the past few years, my reading volume and writing volume have been astonishing, and my new works have come out one after another.Sometimes, I am also surprised by my exuberant creativity. After getting to know you, my creativity has skyrocketed.You are my "catalyst".When I think of you, I feel at ease.It doesn't matter if everyone in the world doesn't understand me, as long as you understand me alone, I'm satisfied. I often don't hide my pride, which naturally leads to envy from some of my peers.They said that he was only in his twenties, and he had published seven or eight books.They themselves are as lazy as pigs - there is a saying in the university "Jiu San Xue Society", which means that some people get up at nine in the morning and get up at three in the afternoon for a nap.But they can't understand people who cherish their time.

There are too many slobs in college who are sleepy all day long.The slackers naturally get nothing.However, what qualifications do lazy people who have gained nothing have the right to be jealous of the fruits of labor of hardworking people? The Bible also says: I pass the fields of the lazy, the vineyards of the foolish, Thorns covered the fields, thorns covered the fields, and stone walls collapsed. When I saw it, I paid attention to it, and when I saw it, I received a lesson and repented. When I sleep again, when I take a nap, when I lie down with my arms folded, Your poverty will come like a robber;

Your lack comes like a man with arms. ("Bible Proverbs 24:30-34") Everyone must be responsible for the way of life he chooses.I choose to be industrious and I reap the rewards, and it is for granted.I don't mind the jealousy of idlers. Ning Xuan, your childhood spent by the water is really fascinating.That trip between you and grandma reminded me of Lu Xun's "Social Opera".In fact, I also had a childhood life similar to yours.The small town where I live also has two small rivers beside it.At that time, there was no industrial pollution, and fish and shrimp could be caught easily in the river.When I was young, I was weak. My grandfather was a well-known local doctor of traditional Chinese medicine. The prescription he gave me was to eat a stewed small crucian carp every day.At that time, people did not have to go to the market to buy fish, but went directly to the river to fish.

Often early in the morning, before the sun came out and the sky was gray, my grandfather and I set off with the fishing rod.We don't catch too many fish, just one at a time.Then stepping on the dew-stained grass by the river to go home.When I got home, the sun had not yet come out, but the sky began to light up. Usually, my grandma makes it for me. Grandma's cooking skills are beyond the reach of the whole family.Although my grandma is a devout Buddhist and has been a vegetarian for many years, she had to "kill" for the sake of my beloved little grandson.Before dissecting the fish, grandma had to read Buddhist scriptures for a long time.

Now, I am in Beijing, and I often miss my grandparents and my childhood by the water.Ning Xuan, I guess, your grandmother is as kind and kind as mine.She would consider me a grandson, just as my grandmother would consider you a granddaughter.In this way, both of us have an extra grandmother, don't we? You mentioned Yu Dafu in your letter, he is also a writer I like.He is not so much a writer as a poet.The experiences you mentioned in your letter are exactly the inevitable conflict between the pure poet and the dark age.The fate of Yu Dafu is as tragic as the fate of Ji Kang I wrote about in my last letter.

Yu Dafu is respectable, he dealt with the Japanese invaders in the exotic land of Nanyang with a weak body of a literati, and finally died for the country; Yu Dafu is lovely, his loveliness is reflected in his dedication to love attitude.In his life, several marriages were not happy, but he never gave up his pursuit of love.What is especially touching is his love and marriage with Wang Yingxia. This love and marriage lightened up his life and exhausted his life. Some time ago, I was reading "This Hate Is Endless--Yu Dafu's Love Letters".In the book, Yu Dafu's letters to Wang Yingxia are all lingering and fiery.

Let me copy a few paragraphs for you to read.Moreover, after each paragraph of Yu Dafu's text, I added a small "comment"—actually my own thoughts.I don't want to compete with Yu Dafu, but I want to show you: my love is not inferior to anyone else's love. Yu Dafu wrote: "When others praise your beauty, I like it very much. It's like they are praising me. Yingxia, I and you are already integrated. I really think so, if you have a little sickness, I will It must also be felt at the same time. So a few days ago, you had mental depression, and I also felt your depression at the same time, which made me sleepless at night and tasteless. These days, your depression has been eliminated, I also felt comfortable, so I did a lot of things and ate more meals than usual. Yingxia, from my own experience, I guess you are always the same as me, so I hope you can always be with me If we meet each other and stay with me from time to time, then the relationship between the two of us will surely become deeper day by day." (This passage is also what I want to say to you. Isn't there a telepathy between us? Your first The first time you called me, on that day, you just had your tooth pulled out, and that day happened to be my birthday. No one can arrange this kind of coincidence. The fate and induction between people cannot be analyzed and explained by science. Who If I can say it clearly, I will know you thousands of miles away?)

"What I value most now is passionate love, blind love, love that can sacrifice everything, and love that cannot wait for night. Everything else, in front of love, is as valuable as dust. The real Love does not allow the idea of ​​profit or loss to exist in it. So I feel that what I feel for you this time is indeed a very pure and passionate love. The maintenance of this kind of love is to meet every day and talk every day. Only then can it grow, make it clean, and make it last forever between heaven and earth." (Love can make the wait extremely long. Ning Xuan, I ask you again: When can we meet again? When will we never be separated forever? I was tortured by love, and I almost wanted to give up my thesis and degree, and come to Yangzhou to find you. But I was afraid that you would say that I have no ambition, "heroes are short of breath, and sons and daughters love each other". But, you are not by my side, I really live like a year. Why do you want to "test" me in such a "cruel" way? When will this "test" end?)

"I feel very satisfied, because you can love me and understand me. My future life must be influenced by you, so it has changed a lot. Today at home, I also did a day's work, and the time was not wasted at all. , I think from now on, I will improve day by day. Yingxia, I have made up my mind, please don’t be sad and doubt me again, and help me work hard.” (Thinking about you while Writing articles is really the happiest thing in life. When writing, I don’t need any external stimuli, such as tobacco and alcohol, as long as I have you in my heart. You are the source of my inspiration. I Thinking of your dark eyes, thinking of your short hair like a hedgehog, thinking of your wrists shining like jade.) "I hope you can trust me and see me as a great person in the world. I hope you can settle down in solitude and break the old habits of China. The so-called old habits, in my opinion, are meaningless vanity We only teach strong love, even if the whole world is laughing, we don’t have to worry about it. We should live in the center of love, die in the heart of love, and don’t care about anything else.  … The sincere heart in your arms is beyond everything, I can die for you, but the worldly ethics, honor, money, etc., cannot die for you." (Yu Dafu is indeed a great person, he can proudly say to Everyone announces this. From the eyes of others, it seems a bit arrogant-after all, this is against the usual Chinese way of "modest and prudent". But if we carefully weigh his contribution in the history of modern literature, we can easily understand His pride. I am not a "great person", nor do I have the desire to be a great person. I just want to be a person with a conscience, a person who is not controlled by evil forces, a person who knows how to love and has love. Is it difficult to realize this wish? It is easy to say, but difficult to say. Ning Xuan, come and help me realize this little wish. Come and paint the final "finishing touch" of this dragon.) "I sent you an ordinary letter yesterday, saying that I will not write letters every day in the future, because it takes too much time, but no matter where I go, I can't leave you in my heart, so I still write letters. It’s these few words, but the same thing, I only teach you to say it to you, I always feel that I don’t mind saying it ten thousand times, the same thing you said to me, even if it is the same, I only teach it from your mouth , written from your hand, I can read it a hundred times and listen to it a hundred times without getting tired of it." (Even Yu Dafu sometimes "runs out of words" and "end of talent". He writes a letter to his lover about every day, The frequency is much higher than ours. Like this, no matter how many beautiful adjectives there are, there will be a time when they run out. But I think about it, when love reaches the depths, maybe there is no need to embellish and exaggerate. Although it is just plain A few words, but they are powerful, as the saying goes, "Only plain and calm is the most true".) Human love is the same. From time to time until today, human beings have wandered and struggled in love, and also sang and smiled in love.Ning Xuan, let us become happy people ourselves, and ferment love in our thoughts. Another day passed and it was time to rest.At this moment, you have fallen asleep, right?Did you ever dream that we were together? love you tingsheng March 9, 2000 Tingsheng: I didn't tell you, how do you know I like Snoopy?If you send me Snoopy, I will accept it without hesitation. As soon as I see Snoopy in comics, or Snoopy made into various trinkets, I can't help but think of you - Snoopy is a cute puppy, and his biggest wish is to write novels , often climbed to the roof in a daze.Is it as stupid (or as smart) as you? I just finished a tough business negotiation and then finished dinner with a couple of my bosses.I don't like the resplendent hotels, but the simple and unpretentious "home" restaurant in your school.It is a very simple, but very warm name.It was another coincidence that we ate together at the "home" restaurant when we first met - it already foreshadowed the development of our relationship and the fact that we would have our own "home".Because you are with me, the food there looks so delicious. I look forward to stepping into The Homestead again.I am looking forward to eating Sichuan twice-cooked pork cooked by you, and I can also make Yangzhou lion head by myself.My handicraft was taught by my grandmother personally, and has a long history of "family learning". Xu Ke, a scholar of the Qing Dynasty, had a special "lion head" in "Qing Barnyard Banknotes". He wrote: "The lion head is named after its similar shape, and the pork garden is also. The pork is half fat and thin, and it is finely chopped. It is mixed with protein to make it easy to solidify, or add shrimp and crab powder. Use a yellow sand pot, put yellow sprouts or bamboo shoots at the bottom, slightly mix with water and salt, make a huge circle with meat, and put it on top. Cover the vegetable leaves with a pot lid, put them into an iron pot, sprinkle a little salt to prevent the pot from cracking, and then dry-burn them with a slow fire. Stop every time you burn a few firewood, and burn them more when it is about five minutes old, and take them out when they are cooked .” He wrote stroke by stroke, as if he was a culinary master.And in these gentle and quiet words, I can almost smell the fragrance of lion's head. Xu's record is only the most popular procedure.In fact, in Yangzhou, every family has the taste of the lion head dish, and it is not an exaggeration to say "a hundred flavors".You can't eat two lion's heads that taste exactly the same. Xu's records are of course closer to the natural state, such as the jars and firewood used.Making lion heads today can only be done in a modern kitchen.However, there is still a set of complicated "technical processes", and our family has always been "passing on from female to male".However, if you want to learn, I can make an exception and teach you. It makes me so happy that you think of me while you write.From now on, every time you write a good article, I will reward you with a plate of the most delicious lion head.In your words, there are traces of my life.Reading such words, I seem to be hit in the waist by happiness.This kind of happiness is far better than the expensive gift you gave me.Your words are the best gift you can give me. If after getting to know me, your writing becomes less and worse, then I think it is better not to know you; I hope that my appearance in your life can promote your writing enthusiasm, and I can also become One of your sources of inspiration.In the future, you will tell me the progress of your writing in your reply letter, which will be your "routine" that you cannot forget. What you quoted in your letter is indeed the most wonderful sentence in Yu Dafu's love letter.However, there are two other features of Yu Dafu's love letter, have you noticed? One of the characteristics is that he constantly reports to Wang Yingxia on the process of writing, allowing his lover to share the joy and hardship of writing.He talked in detail about how many words he wrote every day, how he planned to finish writing a novel in a few days, etc., just like a primary school student reporting his learning progress to his parents and teachers.Because writing is the life of Yu Dafu, and he spent most of his life on writing, so a large part of his letters are about his own writing, so devoted and intoxicated. for example-- "Today I wrote another 5,000 words, and that "Chi Osmanthus fragrans" may take more than 20,000 words before I can finish it, and it can be mailed in the next day. It can only be sent to "Modern Times"....My grades are very good. This A piece of "Chi Osmanthus fragrans" is also a masterpiece, you will know it after reading it." "Suddenly, "Chi Osmanthus fragrans" is being written, with a total of 53 sheets and 21,000 characters. "Modern Times" will send a letter to notify, and it will come to pick it up in about three days. The manuscript will be revised from the beginning tonight, and it will be mailed tomorrow morning ...... "Chi Osmanthus fragrans" I thought I was doing very well, but I don't know what the world reviews are like. But if I can get the manuscript fee of 100 yuan, then I can pay for the rent and meals here." "I'm working on a short story right now. I have spent a lot of effort, and I have bought more than 100,000 yuan in reference books, but the pen is always delayed. After that, it will be around the end of the month and the beginning of the month.” When talking about his own writing, Yu Dafu talked endlessly, especially when he talked about the proud work he was writing, he was even more radiant, as if he had regained his youth.The "Chi Osmanthus fragrans" he mentioned in his letter is like a prose and a short story, and it is the best of his best.It is a pity that later generations did not pay enough attention to this text.However, I think this text can be called Yu Dafu's masterpiece. However, Wang Yingxia's understanding of Yu Dafu's joy and hardship in writing is very limited, and she prefers a lively social circle.She is willing to share Yu Dafu's reputation, but she is unwilling to accept the huge price that creation needs to pay.This naturally casts a shadow of tragedy on their love. Tingsheng, but I can deeply understand you.I sympathize with all the writing plans and current situation you mentioned in your letter.Although I am not by your side, when I read your letter, I feel that I am watching you by your desk. The second feature of Yu Dafu's love letters is that in many letters, he talked about the amount of the manuscript fee, the "bargaining" with the newspapers and periodicals, and the need to save money to buy a house and support relatives in his hometown. Yu Dafu attaches great importance to money, which is precisely his frank side, and also reflects his modern consciousness that is different from traditional intellectuals.Money is a neutral thing, money itself is not evil.Intellectuals also need to be paid for their knowledge production and literary creation. "A gentleman loves money, and he gets it in a proper way." I don't believe some literati's high-profile "thousands of households in dung". I think intellectuals should not be "ashamed to talk about money."On this point, Yu Dafu is "healthy" rather than "distorted".He doesn't hide his true nature, which is showing his cuteness. Tingsheng, you are very similar to Yu Dafu. In terms of basic attitudes towards money and life, both of you have overcome hypocrisy. Overcoming your inner hypocrisy is more difficult than overcoming your external enemies. Yu Dafu failed to return to his beloved hometown.On the eve of the victory of the Anti-Japanese War, in the remote Southeast Asia, he was killed by brutal Japanese soldiers.There, the fishy smell of the sea breeze and the rust of shrapnel wrapped his body. Yu Dafu was strangled to death by a strong Japanese devil.That Japanese devil is a judo master, escaped punishment after the war, and is still alive today, without any remorse.What an evil nation that is—although there are good Japanese, they have the highest proportion of wicked people among all races. When Yu Dafu died, he was wearing a white long gown with half-smoked cigarettes in his belt.His body was hidden in the grass. When you have time, write a commemorative article for Yu Dafu. love you Xuan March 14, 2000 Dear Xuan: I will write an article dedicated to Yu Dafu, a rare "celebrity and martyr".I will express my sincere respect to him in this article written with "heart". In the face of suffering, we are all latecomers, and the act of being late is sinful in itself. I was deeply moved when you wrote about the scene of Yu Dafu being killed in your letter.Yu Dafu's tragic and honorable death reminded me of my great-grandfather.Like Yu Dafu, my great-grandfather also died tragically at the hands of the Japanese devils.He was only a little luckier than Yu Dafu - his body was snatched back by his subordinates desperately, and his chest was full of bullet holes. Let me tell you the story of my great-grandfather. My great-grandfather was a general in the army of the Sichuan warlord Liu Xiang.In the early years of the Republic of China, he studied in Japan to study military affairs, hoping to "learn from the barbarians to improve their skills to control the barbarians" and take a road of "military salvation".However, he is a man of refined nature, who has always been incompatible with the life of the army.Even after he became a general, he still has a layer of literary spirit that cannot be shaken off. According to my grandfather, my great-grandfather was a Confucian general, and he had more of a "Confucian" side than a "general" side.For example, he doesn't like to wear military uniforms, but likes to wear relaxed robes; he doesn't like to play with guns, but likes to read ancient books. The only photograph I have ever seen of my great-grandfather.His other photos were all burned by his grandfather before the house was ransacked during the "Cultural Revolution"-at that time, a single photo could bring disaster to the family.In the photo, my great-grandfather was thin and melancholy. Although he was wearing an airy military uniform with shiny medals, he didn't look like a soldier, but a handsome university professor. After the Revolution of 1911, warlord wars in Sichuan were frequent and fierce. The 1920s and 1930s were the "Zone Era" of the Sichuan warlords.The warlords each rule a region, each warlord is a local emperor, and each defense region is an independent kingdom.They appointed local officials by themselves, minted their own currency, levied and extorted, and exploited the common people.Although their respective spheres of influence have been divided, there is no "well water does not violate river water" between them. They are still eyeing each other, ready to annex each other at any time, and war may break out at any time. My great-grandfather also got a small defense zone next to Chengdu.He couldn't bear to shoot at his compatriots, couldn't bear to raise taxes on the common people, and he wanted to retreat amidst the intricate factional struggles.He loves Chinese medicine, reads medical books, and often takes guards up the mountain to collect medicine.He tasted all kinds of herbs, and invented some miraculous prescriptions himself, which were widely used in the army and saved the lives of many soldiers.He dreams of one day being able to take off his shirt and carry a medicine chest.In the army, positions and ranks are directly proportional to the number of lives slaughtered; while in the circle of doctors, prestige is built on the number of lives saved.Obviously, the great-grandfather admired the latter.He does not want to kill, but to "live". Among his colleagues, his great-grandfather was a "heterogeneous".Fortunately, it was an era when strange people and heroes emerged in endlessly, and it was an era that had not yet been unified by strict regulations. In that era, a person was allowed to have the dual identities of a genius doctor and a general—just like Yu Dafu also had both a celebrity and a general. The double identity of a martyr is the same. What my great-grandfather did was the most commendable thing by the folks: to eliminate harm for the people, and to clean up the bandit warlord Shi Zhaowu who had poisoned Sichuan for many years.Back then, this was a major event that shocked the whole Sichuan and even the whole country.When I stared at the photo of my great-grandfather, I couldn't imagine that such a polite Confucian general had such great wisdom and courage. It was a day in the early summer of 1933, and the air in Chengdu was filled with tension and turbulence. A news that people can hardly believe is quietly circulating.People began to open their doors cautiously, and people streamed from all directions to the Baolu Monument in Shaocheng Park. People gathered under the monument and looked up. On the side of the monument facing the street, there is a wooden cage hanging impressively, inside which is a person's head - with a thin face, the appearance of a heavy smoker, and a clot of blood on the neck.After identifying the head, people clapped their hands and cheered.The walls of the park are covered with slogans in various fonts. The head hung for three days and three nights.Chengdu is empty. Who is the person who separated the corpse?Why did his death make Chengdu people ecstatic?And who killed him? He is Shi Zhaowu, the bandit warlord who did many evils. Shi Zhaowu was originally a ferocious bandit leader who claimed to be a descendant of Shi Dakai, the winged king of the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom.Later, he took refuge in Liu Wenhui, a great warlord, and worshiped him as his godfather.From then on, Shi Zhaowu became a powerful general in Liu Wenhui's army. After Liu Wenhui occupied the Chengdu Plain, Shi Zhaowu's 12th Regiment, his elite force, moved to Chengdu.This regiment is composed of a group of desperadoes who regard the peaceful city as a battlefield, rob citizens and rape women in broad daylight, and do all kinds of outrageous things. Shi Zhaowu himself came to Chengdu, a colorful world, and often drove a convertible on the streets. Once, he was wearing a silk gown, a straw hat, a pair of sunglasses on his face, and two coquettish prostitutes, ostentatiously. On Chunxi Road, a commercial street, Shi Zhaowu's speeding car frightened passers-by, fearing that they would die if they failed to dodge.However, a tragedy still happened: a beggar on the side of the road was knocked to the ground at once, his head was bleeding and he died on the spot. "Crush people to death!" people shouted loudly, and rushed up. Seeing that the situation was not good, Shi Zhaowu immediately rushed forward at full speed.Suddenly, a hawker selling glutinous rice balls on the side of the road died again.When people saw Shi Zhaowu showing off his power, they were terrified and fled in all directions. This is just an "ordinary" day for Shi Zhaowu in Chengdu.In the eyes of this bandit leader, human life is worthless.In China, when has the life of ordinary people been respected? Although the local police and gendarmerie in Chengdu received repeated complaints from the sufferer, they were deterred by Liu Wenhui's influence, so they had no choice but to turn a deaf ear to Shi Zhaowu's crimes. Although Shi Zhaowu is a bandit and illiterate, he is very interested in the female students in the new school in Chengdu.He took a fancy to Hu Manxian, the "school belle" of Chengdu Women's Normal School.He sent people to Hu's house to propose marriage, threatening that "if you don't marry, you have to marry".The Hu family knew about Shi Zhaowu's notoriety, so why would they push their daughter into the pit of fire?However, Shi Zhaowu overshadowed the sky in Chengdu with one hand, and they could not resist openly, so the whole family had to flee. Seeing the empty Hu's house, Shi Zhaowu was outraged.There are so many soldiers under him, and they can't even deal with a female student. What face do they have in Chengdu?He decided to get this delicate and beautiful school flower, what should he do? Bandits have the way of thinking of bandits: Shi Zhaowu ordered his subordinates to decorate the Hu's house, and then let them live in the Hu's house, pretending to be members of the Hu family.In this way, he arranged for people to bring eight boxes filled with expensive gifts to Hu's house as engagement gifts.The subordinates "accepted" the gift-meaning that the "Hu family" agreed to his marriage proposal. At the same time, he sent many bandit soldiers in plain clothes to guard the main road out of the city, and asked them to search for Hu Manxian and his family. At this time, my great-grandfather was stationed in the suburbs of Chengdu.He ran the army strictly, and he did not commit any crimes in autumn, which was quite popular among the people.The Hu family was desperate, and with a glimmer of hope, they sent letters to their great-grandfather, hoping that he could uphold justice and give a helping hand. When my great-grandfather heard about this, he was furious: such absurd things happened in such a bright world!Although he knew that if he intervened in this matter, he would offend Shi Zhaowu and his backstage boss Liu Wenhui, and bring him great disaster, but he decided that he could not stand idly by, otherwise he would have no soldiers! Therefore, he immediately dispatched his guard squad to sneak into the Hu family's hiding place in the city, and on a dark and stormy night, he escorted their family out of Chengdu and escaped from Shi Zhaowu's clutches. The Hu Manxian incident caused a lot of trouble in the city.Teachers and students of the Women's Normal School resolutely went on strike to protest, and Chengdu newspapers bravely reported the incident.My great-grandfather also published an article under a pseudonym on the famous "New News", denouncing Shi Zhaowu who was outrageous. The news spread to Nanjing and Shanghai, causing a public outcry.People from outside Sichuan called Liu Wenhui one after another, demanding that Shi Zhaowu be severely punished. Shi Zhaowu was furious, and still went his own way, trying to send troops to destroy the newspaper office and shoot the reporter.After the great-grandfather heard the news, he quickly dispatched pistol teams to the major newspaper offices to guard against Shi Zhaowu's murder.The two armies were at loggerheads for several days.Shi Zhaowu was originally a bully and shy of the hard-bodied, seeing the opponent pointing at the maimang, he had no choice but to retreat in resentment. Soon after, the war between Liu Xiang and Liu Wenhui broke out in Sichuan.My great-grandfather joined the war against his will.In this war without justice at all, he did the only righteous thing-launch a fierce attack on the Shi Zhaowu Department that has plagued Chengdu for many years.Liu Wenhui's army retreated steadily and scattered to the southwest of Chengdu.Shi Zhaowu, who was invincible in the past, also threw away his helmet and armor, and fled after hearing the news. The great-grandfather predicted Shi Zhaowu's escape route, and personally led an elite army to cross the main road to the west of Qiongzhou.Sure enough, Shi Zhaowu and his remnants of defeated generals came desperately.When these villainous soldiers walked into the encirclement, all the guns that had been ambushed opened fire.After the sound of gunfire subsided, Shi Zhaowu and several of his personal soldiers were captured without a fight. The great-grandfather immediately asked Liu Xiang for instructions on how to deal with Shi Zhaowu.He hinted that not killing this person would not be enough to cause public outrage.After Liu Xiang won the victory, he occupied more than half of Sichuan. In order to win over the hearts of the people in Chengdu, he replied in a smooth manner: execute immediately. Thus, there was the bloody but pleasing scene ahead. Shi Zhaowu deserved his crime, but he left an allusion to Sichuan: "Shi Zhaowu's head--slaughtered".And it was my great-grandfather who carried out this joyful plan. Due to his extraordinary military exploits, his great-grandfather was repeatedly promoted.However, he couldn't bear the bloody life in the army more and more, and he couldn't bear the corrupt and dark habits in officialdom more and more.He decided to resign and return home to open a pharmacy to save some patients. Just when his great-grandfather was about to write a resignation report to his superiors, Chiang Kai-shek delivered a speech on fighting against Japan in Mount Lushan.All-out war broke out.He quietly put away the resignation report and drafted a new document requesting to send the Sichuan Army out of Sichuan to fight against Japan.Overnight, his fate changed. Shangfeng approved his request.He set off with a division of soldiers-the wind is rustling, the water is cold, and the strong men will never return once they are gone. The soldiers of the Sichuan Army wearing linen military uniforms and straw sandals are a "non-brand army" that has always been looked down upon by Chiang Kai-shek's Whampoa descendants.Facing the arrogant and rude Huangpu generals, the generals of the Sichuan Army did not take them seriously: who is the hero, see you on the battlefield.At that time, no one expected that on the front line of the War of Resistance Against Japan, this "miscellaneous army" of the Sichuan Army sang a poem "shocking the world, weeping ghosts and gods". The most tragic battle started in Taierzhuang.This was the first heavy blow suffered by the Japanese army after its invasion of China.In the Battle of Taierzhuang, the children of the Sichuan Army were the unbreakable backbone of many armies. In that battle, the sky was darkened; in that battle, blood flowed like rivers. An army connected with a company rushed forward without hesitation to block the gap that was torn open by the enemy.Enemy planes kept dropping bombs, but our army had no air support.Seeing that the situation was not good, Chiang Kai-shek's direct troops began to retreat in chaos. The "No-name Army" is still struggling to support it.They are nailed to the ground like nails.At the final stage of street fighting, my great-grandfather still stayed in the frontline headquarters.The guards covered in blood persuaded him to retreat, and he waved his hand lightly, expressing his oath to live and die with the position. The soldiers around him finished shooting all the ammunition and were ready to go into battle with the ghost sword on their shoulders. He respected them with the last bowl of Wuliangye brought from his hometown.With tears in his eyes, he said proudly: Brothers, we have not shamed our fathers and fellow villagers.We drank this glass of wine from home, and the next time we get together for a drink, it will be in another world.Our wives and children will be proud of us. The sound of gunfire outside was deafening.Japanese tanks rumbled over.They rushed out like leopards. The next day, when the backup troops regained the position again, they found that the general had died in battle at the gate of the command post. The pistol in his hand had already fired the last bullet, and his body was riddled with bullets.His demeanor was very serene, and there was even a hint of a smile at the corner of his blood-stained mouth. Perhaps, he saw the green mountains and green waters of his hometown; perhaps, he heard the affectionate call of his wife and children.By the mountains and rivers, there are his footprints of picking medicine; in the family, there are children who he personally taught. All the relatives around him died on the battlefield. No one knew how the general died, let alone what he was thinking before he died. Many years later, I passed Taierzhuang, which is already a prosperous small town.The bloody storm of that year is gone, and I can't imagine that a cruel fight took place here. The vicissitudes of the world, today's Liangtian ancient tomb.Human beings on the earth are changing, but the stars in the sky are twinkling forever. My great-grandfather was a strong man from beginning to end.Although fate did not arrange for him to do what he liked to do, he still fulfilled his mission humbly and responsibly. Later, when the soldiers sorted out his belongings, they found that there were still several blood-stained and illegible prescriptions in his pocket.When he was on the battlefield, he still couldn't forget to think about the preparation of the prescription. The great-grandfather finally returned the shroud of horse leather, and he honorably died for the country.However, his feat did not bring honor to future generations-because he is a general of the Kuomintang, and this status cannot be changed. After 1949, two generations, grandparents, uncles, mothers, and aunts, were implicated and did not have a good day. On the eve of the "Cultural Revolution", more than half of the house left by my great-grandfather in the small town was confiscated, leaving only two small rooms next to it for my grandparents' family to live in.The identity of the grandfather's family was once again reduced, becoming the lowest "untouchables".They suffered humiliation and blindness. However, when I was born, it was already the late stage of the "Cultural Revolution", and the situation improved.Half of the room was returned, and the grandfather also went to the hospital to resume his status as a doctor. He was deeply trusted by the villagers with his superb medical skills. That small courtyard is the most beautiful house in the town.There, is my childhood paradise.At that time, my parents had just arrived at the mine and had not yet settled down, so I lived with my grandparents in my hometown.There, there is a wide patio and sweet well water.There are carved wooden windows and big beds covered with mosquito nets.There is also the lonely figure of my great-grandfather vaguely. The life of my great-grandfather was a drama more exciting than a drama, like "a dream in the south".In the dislocation of fate again and again, he keeps making correct choices.He is a good soldier and a good doctor. 后来，外公子承父业，一生从医--外曾祖父一生最大的愿望是当医生。他救治了无数的病人，是地方上有名的医生。要是外曾祖父地下有知，也该欣慰了吧？ 由于父辈的牵连，外公在相当长的一段时间里被剥夺了当医生的权利。在最艰难的时期，外公编草鞋买，而外婆则制作酸辣萝卜片买。外婆的萝卜片切得像纸一样薄，调料也加得恰到好处。一分钱十片，是孩子们每天都离不开的美食。在那些困乏的日子里，酸辣萝卜片是我童年唯一的、也是百吃不厌的零食。 外公与外婆摆在门口的两个小摊子，成了小镇上的一景。人们没有嘲笑他们，反倒尊重他们。他们虽然沦落到社会的最底层，却始终没有丧失自己的尊严。 Grandpa hid several boxes of thread-bound ancient books left by his great-grandfather in the mezzanine of the attic.They finally escaped the search of the Red Guards.And it is these thread-bound ancient books that have become the enlightenment reading materials on my literary path.这些古书中，有、有《全唐诗》、有……记得多少个夜晚，我在昏黄的油灯下，忘情地阅读这些书籍。直到外婆怕我太劳累了，心疼地走进来，灭掉灯劝我早点上床睡觉。 这些书中，还有外曾祖父的批注。在那些淡淡的字迹中，我似乎能够看到他的寂寞和哀愁，他的柔情和侠骨。"葡萄美酒夜光杯，欲饮琵琶马上催。醉卧沙场君莫笑，古来征战几人回。"这大概是外曾祖父最喜欢的一首唐诗，因为旁边密密麻麻写满蝇头小楷的批注。 因为郁达夫，因为外曾祖父，因为千千万万惨死的同胞，我绝对不原谅日本人，绝对不原谅那些死去的和活着的军国主义者。有人说我的文章中对日本人太仇恨了，他们却不知道这种仇恨的来源。 宁萱，听完我给你讲的这个真实的故事之后，你该理解我对日本的"成见"吧？ 他们绝不是我们"一衣带水"的"友邦"。直到今天，他们都还在侵占我们的钓鱼岛。他们的军舰在那里耀武扬威。前两年，香港著名的保钓人士陈毓祥试图登上钓鱼岛，他的小船却被日本的军舰故意撞翻，致使他被汹涌的海水淹死。可是，这样惨烈的事件，我们作为一个"站起来"的大国却闭口不提。 在看待日本人的问题上，我确实无法"宽容"和"理性"。 love you tingsheng 两千年三月十九日 Tingsheng: 听完你外曾祖父的故事之后，我理解了你对日本人的"不宽容"。 这一个世纪以来，中国经历了多少戏剧化的变革啊--在这一场场的变革之中，几乎所有中国人的命运，都是一出开演以后就无法预料其结果的戏剧。 你的外曾祖父是这样，我们的爷爷奶奶、外公外婆乃至爸爸妈妈们，难道不也是这样吗？你应当为你的外曾祖父写一部传记，一部又不仅仅属于他的传记，而是他们那一代人的传记。用善与恶去言说历史，太单薄，也太苍白。 人生有的时候确实就是"南柯一梦"。只是，有的人被动地承受一切，有的人却毫不妥协地充当自己梦境的编剧。有的人醉生梦死，有的人却悚然惊醒。我们属于哪种人呢？ 你在信中提到"南柯一梦"这个典故。你知道这个典故发生在哪里吗？这个故事就发生在我生活的扬州。 经过汶河北路驼岭巷的时候，我经常看到一棵古老的槐树。这可不是一棵普通的槐树，它隐藏着一个中国古代文学中源远流长的母题，隐藏着一个一千多年以前奇妙诡谲的梦境。 它就是"南柯一梦"中的"南柯"。 唐传奇中李公佐的名篇《南柯太守传》，你一定很熟悉。故事中说，淳于棼住在广陵郡东十里，宅南有一棵大槐树。有一天，他喝醉酒昏昏睡去，悠然梦见两个身穿紫色衣服的使者邀请他，他便登车进入槐树的洞穴之中。洞穴之中的山川跟人间的一模一样，宏大的城门上写着"大槐安国"四个字。 淳于棼晋见了大槐安国的国王。他深受国王的器重，并被招为驸马，出任南柯太守。二十多年间，生育五男二女，享尽荣华富贵。不料，他奉命带兵与邻国交战失利，公主又突然逝世，朝廷中谣言纷乱，那些嫉妒他的官员恨不得将他置之于死地。国王也不再信任他，但总算没有加害于他，仍然派遣紫衣使者将他送回人间。 淳于棼从梦中惊醒，这才发现夕阳尚有余晖，残杯尚未收拾。他让家人挖掘槐树下面的洞穴，看见无数的蚂蚁匆匆忙碌，这才明白槐树内的洞穴就是"大槐安国"。他感叹不已，命令家人重新将洞穴恢复原状。这天夜晚，风雨大作，蚂蚁们全都搬走了。 唐代以后，这个故事受到许多文人的喜爱。也许现实太残酷，他们都需要"南柯一梦"来缓解压力。苏东坡说："南柯已一世，我眠未转头"；关汉卿说："几时能够再得相逢，则除是南柯梦儿里"。 将这个故事发挥到淋漓尽致的地步的，还是汤显祖"临川四梦"之一的《南柯记》。故事的背景，当然还是在扬州。"小生东平人氏，复姓淳于，名棼。家去广陵城十里，庭有古槐一株，枝干广长，清阴数亩，小子每与群豪纵饮其下。"扬州，是一个人人都在梦境中生活的城市。随意描摹下一个故事，就是一出好得不能再好的戏剧。汤显祖一代戏剧大师，沉醉在扬州这个梦想和现实分不开的城市里，才轻易地领悟到了"人间君臣眷属与蝼蚁何殊，一切苦乐兴亡与南柯无二--等是梦境"的道理。 第二十九回，写到贾府点戏。贾母问第三本戏是什么，贾珍回答是《南柯梦》，"贾母听了，便不言语"。贾母之所以"不言语"，一定是这出戏触动了她心中的某根弦。她的一生，历经了荣华富贵而眼看大厦将倾，不正是"南柯一梦"吗？ 后来，不知通过怎样的途径，扬州驼岭巷的这棵古槐被大家认定了就是"槐安国"。它周围的宅院已经面目全非，它苍老的枝桠却依然伸向天空。它是梦的发源地，也是现实中的梦境。 许多有考据癖的人，对这棵槐树的真实身份颇为怀疑。然而，要在史书上找证据是难于上青天的。今天，科学昌明，有人说，如果将这棵树作一次年龄测试，那不就真相大白了吗？ 我却认为，这些意见无异于焚琴煮鹤。这棵古槐是不是淳于棼家中的槐树，是不是那棵让古代无数文人怀想的南柯，并不重要。也许故事本身就是一个虚构出来的故事。也许连淳于棼也是虚构出来的人物。但是，在梦境和现实之间，这棵槐树毕竟给了人们一点点安慰。 清代的才子纪晓岚，是那个时代最聪明的人，他写过一首题为《槐安国》的诗，诗云："安知此树下，不有槐安国？安知此天地，不在槐根侧？" 我们的长辈的故事，在我们看来就是"南柯一梦"；而我们自己的故事，在后人的眼中，何尝不是"南柯一梦"呢？杜牧诗云"十年一觉扬州梦"，说的岂止是他自己？ 听你讲到四川的风物和历史，我也十分感兴趣--正如你对扬州的兴趣一样。我们不仅相爱，我们还爱上了对方生活的城市。 love you Xuan 两千年三月二十四日