Chapter 12 Chapter Twelve

He couldn't stay in San Francisco for another day, and he made the decision before he even opened his eyes.Then he sat on the bed blankly.Sunlight sneaked in through the gaps in the curtains, and the yellow carpet was covered with withered yellow grass. He forgot whether it rained or not yesterday, and vaguely remembered seeing a moon that had changed color.But in the middle of the night, the sound of pattering rain seeped into the gap between his dreams and non-dreams.He felt his mouth full of bitterness, and the only connection with yesterday was the unawakened scorpion, and everything else retreated to his sanity.

The memory is covered with a veil, and the past is in a trance. The wine bottle is empty, the world has faded and the transparent amber has become so pale. There was a soft knock on the door. It turned out that the old puppy Fredton was squatting at the door, still gazing at him with the sad eyes of yesterday.He removed a piece of paper hanging from its collar.The hostess told him that she had gone to the market and returned before noon, that breakfast was on the table, and asked him how he had slept well last night.He remembered that Jinghui told him at dinner yesterday that it was because of Freyton——

This old puppy, she couldn't go to New York to live with Joe, and Freyton didn't adapt to the climate on the east coast of the United States, and he was wheezing and coughing as soon as he arrived in New York.This reason of "separation of husband and wife" made him truly feel that he is now living in another world. While taking a shower, he suddenly thought of running away again.Should I go directly to the airport before the hostess comes back?He didn't want to see any acquaintances anymore and couldn't explain to the hostess why he wanted to advance the date of the trip.He carefully rubbed every inch of his skin with the bath liquid, almost caressing.Now that he has been abandoned by the lovely woman or since he has abandoned the woman he loves, he is left alone.He suddenly thought of his wife, who was sleeping on the other side of the world.I don't know if her dream will give her some kind of hint: her husband is so ridiculous.

But he has long felt that the misfortune of marriage is one of all major social problems in China; the abnormal social process has caused many abnormal fates.His misfortune is that he has lost the sense of happiness; her misfortune is that she does not understand a man who has been on the verge of death several times, and is not good at pasting fragments of his soul on the walls of his home with female hands; It is a mother but she can only act as a "comrade", so he has to fly around to find it.The best thing she can do for him is that her comradely indifference keeps him guilt-free when it comes to extramarital affairs.So, as he wiped his skin from under the bath fluid, he felt that he was normal in this ridiculous world.He can't resist all kinds of stimuli from the outside world, just like a person who is not good at diving can't avoid the suckers of octopus tentacles on the bottom of the sea.Since fate is at the mercy of him, he has no choice but to simply hand himself over to fate.He is faithful only because he has no opportunity; he is unfaithful only because he has opportunity.

Thinking of this, he felt that there was no difference between the eastern and western hemispheres, and the world was completely unified. Crawling out of the bathtub, he hummed involuntarily, and he seemed to feel that he was as pure as a baby again.At this moment he felt the urge of love in his breast, like the penis insisting on erecting itself after recovering from fatigue.For a moment he thought that the world was so beautiful and lovely that he had to love everyone. He stopped humming when he picked up the razor.The thin blade gave him some sort of warning.After he stopped humming, he realized that what he was humming just now was still a Russian song: a surname song, twisty, thin and long.

He followed Fredton into the dining room.Freyton squatted politely by the table and looked at him tenderly.Yes, Freden, you are as worthy as your name.The careful hostess put fried eggs and newspapers on the dining table, as if she herself were lying there naked. "I saw the news that you are coming from the Chinese newspaper." Who said that?While chewing on the toast, he shook out a newspaper between his thumb and middle finger.It's so similar anywhere in the world.If you change the names of places and people, you will think that these are just Chinese "road news" printed in type: murder, robbery, theft, car accidents, fires, prostitution... Both "road news" and typeface are spreading AIDS.All countries in the world are looking for a cure for the disease.

But when he looked away from the newspaper, he saw that the California weather outside the window was still blue and transparent.Several white and black children were throwing Frisbees by the side of the road.White children are so white that they shine, and black children are so black that they shine.The Frisbee made a bouncy arc in the air and landed in front of the garage door.He took a swig of fresh orange juice. He felt relieved.The leisurely comfort is like the sun slowly warming his whole body.He could even feel how the cold orange juice seeped into all his veins bit by bit from his stomach sac.He gave up the idea of ​​running away and waited peacefully for Jinghui as if waiting for his wife who went to the street to come back.

For a moment, he was in a trance as the owner of this typical middle-class American school.Joe, but his childhood playmate.Forty years the world has not grown much.Time and time again, people think that the era they live in is an epoch in which the world is undergoing fundamental changes, but every estimate has failed.The world has not changed at all.The white kid and the black kid are playing Frisbee.Forty years ago he and Joe played billiards in his family's garden in Shanghai's French Concession.Jo was an old snotty dull boy who seldom passed his promotion exams with tutors.He treats Joe as a white kid treats a black kid.There was the sound of mahjong in the small living room, and they sipped ice cream under the big tree with the sound of cicadas.Back then they worshiped Elo Flynn and Gary Cooper, and there was no Stallone or Hosting back then.At that time, the wives who came to play mahjong in their own cars took it as an anecdote that the ordinary citizens who were waiting for the bus on the streets of Shanghai ran away in fright when they heard "Balu is coming" and misrepresented it as "Balu is coming". land.At that time, they shuttled between "Lincoln", "Chrysler", "Austin" and "Citroen" and didn't understand the difference between "Eight Roads" and "Eight Roads".At that time, instead of eating Sullivan's cakes, he liked to eat the steamed cakes peddled on the street.A puff of white steam rushed out of the wooden mold filled with rice flour, and at the same time it whistled like a pigeon whistle.The rich rural atmosphere of the ball of rice noodles despises the westernized prosperity of Shanghai, and every time it can arouse some mysterious code in his body or foretell his future destination.Afterwards, as expected, "Eight Ways Come". Afterwards, the whole childhood like a mahjong table where the winner or loser was decided was overthrown, and then he and Joe were just placed on different decks.

The world of ice cream melts but mahjong continues.Many years later when he wrote "self-examination" in prison, he often felt vaguely that he was just a chip to be lost.The gambler ran away, but the chips were convicted. The last time he came to the United States, Joe said: "If your uncles and aunts brought your whole family to the United States, you would have done better than me." And he squinted at Joe while he was slightly drunk: "I did well in the mainland too!" His drunkenness and arrogance both flooded his red face. Yes.If we had moved our family to America then I would have done a better job than you do now.Not all Chinese who made their fortunes from scratch in the United States were Chinese with high IQs, but the children of the hostile classes in mainland China who later became "intellectuals who contributed to the four modernizations" all had to possess unusual qualities. endowed.Otherwise, you will not survive.Do you know this?

Then he drove him back to the hotel without saying a word.Cars flowed by on either side of them.The feeling of being teased by fate and bewilderment froze on their faces, so that neither of them dared to look at each other.He brought Ginny to meet him a few days later.Two men must have a woman in between to have a lively conversation, and two friends to prove that they are equal sexually.The dining room, large living room, small living room and study here present a light and luxurious style, which is far inferior to the extremely heavy and substantial style of the 1940s.The development of science and technology has produced many substitutes. Fake hearts, lungs, stomachs, limbs, and genitals can even be faked. Of course, all decorations can be faked, right down to antiques and famous paintings.He remembered that his mother's cheongsam had always been cut and sewed by the most senior dressmaker in Shanghai, but now the fashion can be mass-produced.The whole modern world strikes him as uninspiring; Western opulence makes aristocratization increasingly vulgar.He walked up and down the big house with his hands in his trouser pockets.He couldn't find the lost childhood feelings.The best way to preserve a memory is to seal it up with the dust of history.To perceive it, you can only drill into your own heart.Furnishings and scenes that seem to be familiar but not true will torture people, so you must not touch them.

The progress of the times is essentially a step-by-step downgrade.After living in cave dwellings and adobe houses for more than 30 years, I was disappointed when I came to the United States.He found that the world outside the dust was far less brilliant than the memory buried under the loess. No one alive today really understands Beethoven, because what they play is the piano made by modern technology. Jinghui is back.She came up from the garage on the ground floor, carrying large and small bags.She brings sun and a scent of leather and perfume.She was wearing a brown dress that reminded him of chocolate cake.She is another sandwich biscuit because she is sweet on the outside but bitter on the inside. "Good morning! Did you sleep well last night?" He heard her ask and he suddenly felt that she was pretty.She puts what should be in the refrigerator into the refrigerator and what should be in the cupboard.Her two calves are also well-proportioned and slender.She dangling in front of him made him suddenly have a premonition that there must be some adventures in the United States this time, and he was eager to leave while helping her organize things. where?at what time?At what point will fate make him meet?She had missed her appointment last night, and experience and premonition told him that another good show would begin.The fragments of him flying around are always attached to some woman like catkins.Seeing his busy but aimless hands, he felt that this matter was not far away.However, Jinghui was still talking excitedly.She asked him if he turned on the TV in the morning.He said no.She told him that last night the police had caught a maniac with a name.This murderous maniac kills for no purpose, and only attacks lonely pedestrians or breaks into people's homes in the middle of the night. Killing has become his entertainment or chatting to pass the time of doing nothing.She said the police had held him for a long time and had drawn his likeness and posted it everywhere. "I was so scared in those days!" She said, covering her chest with her slender fingers.He heard her say "I'm so scared" and felt that her desertedness was full of enthusiasm for caressing.Mainlanders said "very scary" and "very scary" and she said "very scary", for this difference he wanted to kiss her.But he told her with a straight face that he had to fly to New York today. "Why? Didn't you say to leave the day after tomorrow? Look, I just went to buy so many dishes that you rarely eat in mainland China." Yes, it was agreed yesterday to leave the day after tomorrow, but staying here for another day today is a waste of life.There was a flash of nineteenth-century elegance the moment he saw her turn in surprise, a line seen on the top of an ancient vase.That elegance has been swept away by every hurricane of revolution, and only now and then a speck is found in this or that woman.Women are born living fossils.He likes that the hem of the dress flutters naturally when there is no wind, like anchovies in the water, and the rhythm of life unique to women surges out of it.Sunlight undulates on that rhythm; the brown curves exude the intoxicating fragrance of womanhood.He thought he was impressed again, but he quickly made up a lie that he spoke to so-and-so on the phone and they agreed to go together today. He saw the disappointment on her face and thought that Joe was destroying a living life.A flower, a landscape, and a cloud often lose their meaning of existence because they are neglected by others.He was surprised that the furnishings that he thought were vulgar just now were shining everywhere now.Where there are women, there is energy.Even if the thousand-year-old corpse wax excavated from the underground of the former Gaochang site is a woman, it will arouse people's imagination. He is even more surprised that there are such women in the United States and Taiwan who abide by the oriental women's morals.He took a puff of smoke and couldn't figure out whether he should shout long live for the "revolution" in the mainland or regret it, but he was relieved immediately because he reflected on himself. From the floor-to-ceiling windows, you can see the white swing stand quietly standing on the green lawn.The swimming pool has been carefully covered with light blue plastic film, what kind of summer is it waiting for?In the most concave part of the plastic film lie two yellow leaves clinging to each other and looking at the sky.And the sky is still blue and transparent and shines on the tall buildings in the distance.He didn't see the sea but could imagine the sound of the waves on the side of the tall building. Jinghui is making lunch for him.In the fatherly voice she made, he suddenly fell into a comfortable home atmosphere.His eyes saw the reddish fire in the stove through the shiny electric stove, the exquisite stainless steel cooking utensils, and the clean white closet.There exudes the fragrance of wild mountains, where crackling burst out of the elves of trees and grass.The elves danced happily in the hearth for a while and then came out of the chimney and returned to the sky.And the woman operating by the stove is not this woman, the woman combed the black hair scattered on her forehead with her rough fingers and wiped her nose with her cuff; the woman kneaded the dough on a dark chopping board and then rolled it out. long.Then the steam rose from the big iron pot like a fog and like a completely unexpected dream. He felt the pores all over his body open. Year after month, day and night, what he is looking for is this kind of ordinary, stable and vulgar.The allure of mediocrity is far superior to nobility and elegance.He leaned back on the high-backed chair at the dining table and stretched his legs on the other chair.He flicked the soot and told her not to forget the salt.He gesticulated and said that there is a saying in mainland China that "fresh is not fresh, a handful of salt", and the skill of cooking lies in the use of salt.She immediately smiled back meekly.He was satisfied to see that women were all equally charming no matter what environment they grew up in.The glance of a woman will stir up a gentle breeze.The smoky wind warms the cheeks. Yes, how simple, settled and banal.Life unfolds between large and small plastic bags and paper bags, as well as cartons and cans.This is the content of modern family happiness.He thought that there must be someone who pursued the ordinary all his life and finally became extraordinary with great reluctance, such as himself. Excellence and extraordinaryness are both forced by circumstances, exactly the same as theft and murder. "Come on, I wish you a smooth journey!" He saw that the wine in the woman's hand was like a glass of blood that had just been released from the veins.