Chapter 20 twenty

As for Hai Xixi, she has never pushed the door.Hai Xixi always pushes the door open like a master and comes in. Seeing that I'm here too and taking up the only seat, she squats down on the ground with a sullen face. We meet almost every day at Lana's house.He had to unhack the horses, drink the horses, cut hay, feed the horses, and occasionally pack the harness, so he came much later than me.By the time he came in, I had already eaten.But for some reason, when I saw him, I always felt that I was much shorter than him, and I also had a guilty conscience as if I stole something and put it in my pocket, and was bumped into by someone before I went out.It was as if he understood, and so did I, though neither of us made a show of it: I had just done something disgraceful.This feeling puts a lot of pressure on me.

As soon as he opened the door, I would blush uncontrollably, and my interest in talking would disappear without a trace.The bowls and chopsticks that lantana hadn't had time to clean up seemed to be evidence of my guilt, which made me panic. Lantana is not like other female farmers who love to gossip about people behind their backs.She likes fantasies that have nothing to do with real life, and she likes to listen to myths and fairy tales.During the time between dinner and night, she really had a bit of otherworldliness, which was different from when she was laughing and cursing with the women.She pestered me to tell her stories.And my role as this kind of "storyteller" seems to be the reward for paying her meals.Lantana will fantasize with my story.Fantasy is a human instinct, everyone will have fantasy, have their own fantasy.What is commendable is not being able to fantasize, having fantasies, but being good at accepting and understanding other people's fantasies.Ma Yinghua is very fascinated by "The Ugly Duckling", "Cinderella", "Blue Phoenix", "Nie Xiaoqian" and so on.She can't read a few words, but her mind can echo foreign and ancient fantasies.I don't have the talent for storytelling, and I don't pay attention to the details of the description.But Lantana can supplement it with her imagination. She asked me questions and talked about her thoughts, which often coincided with Andersen and Pu Songling. What about the changing colors and noise of the sea-she has never seen the sea, The song in the sea will fascinate the sailors on the voyage, how the little mouse turned into a horse... as if she had read their books before.This often surprises me.

But Hai Xixi is different. He always wants to play against me and find fault with my stories.He squatted on the ground like a wolf, and put up his ears like a fox. When I was talking a little incoherently or stuttering - because of his presence, my memory would often be interrupted suddenly, as if he heard a small animal. As if making noise in the forest, he licked his lips excitedly.After finishing speaking, he used physical reality to smash all kinds of fantasies in the mind, like an elephant running into the Palace of Versailles and rampaging. "Bear! Wild ducks are hatching swan eggs for you!" He said contemptuously.He never looked at me when he spoke, but looked up at lantana flower.It was as if my story was nothing more than a voice over the radio speakers, and he heard what I said, without actually being in the room.

"Wild ducks are so spiritual. A swan's egg is several times bigger than a wild duck's egg! If there is a swan's egg in the duck's nest, do you think it is lying down?! It has already flown away!..." "Ball! Use gold to make a carriage!" After listening to "Cinderella", he made such a comment, "Whoever wants to use gold to make a carriage will be ruined for eight lifetimes! This matter can't scare me, use gold to make a carriage." What animal can pull it?! Hmm? What animal can pull it?! Then a little gold," he gestured with two fingers, "would weigh a hundred and ten catties!" Yes, his comment was even more absurd .He said angrily: "Humans can grow fish tails! Humans have fish tails, where does that thing grow? How can we tell the difference between male and female? Then how do you make babies? Bear! Roll your tongue! "

He scolded me for "rolling my tongue", but I held back.Because he doesn't see me at all, so I have no choice but to see him and not argue with him, not to mention that he weighs nearly twice as much as me.After I finished speaking, Lan Yinghua would often be immersed in her own imagination, smacking her lips with gusto like eating an olive: "Tsk! Tsk!" She didn't pay attention to what he said.But his arrogance, his jealousy, and his contempt for me accelerated the flow of young blood in my veins that had gradually thickened after my recovery.My face was flushed, and tears of anger rolled in my eyes.What little respect and affection I had for him had long since vanished.At the same time, however, there was something about him that attracted me, challenged me.These things are so consistent and harmonious with my current living environment, so it looks more glorious.This is his roughness, his savagery, and his fearlessness of labor.In his halo, I was so cowardly, so weak, so exhausted, like a shriveled bug.

My tears came not only from anger, but also from self-pity and a sense of wrongedness.I measured my wrist with my thumb and forefinger, and I decided to challenge him! A person who lives in such nature and this kind of rural customs for a long time will of course be affected unconsciously, not to mention that I am consciously pursuing this kind of thing.Roughness, heroism, valor, and fearlessness of labor are, I think, the first conditions for adaptation to this environment.To be a real "self-reliant laborer", one must be a person like Hai Xixi.What "cultural knowledge", go to hell!There are no mediocre careers, only mediocre people.Like the handlebar of the big car I followed, even if he has a high level of cultural accomplishment, when he becomes a writer, I think he will be a "dead dog" writer with no achievements and no originality.And if Hai Xixi becomes a writer, she can dominate the literary world for a while.I secretly regarded Hai Xixi as my rival.

And at this time, my body really got better. Lantana once said: "If you want to eat, you have to eat food. What's the 'substitute for melons and vegetables'? Potatoes and cabbage can only support the stomach, not the people. The stomach grows bigger and bigger, and people become sacks..." These words It has the same nature of truth as "you will not be hungry when you are full".Every time I ate a full meal of real grain with her, I found my body growing in form and substance from the day before.It's not psychological.Although our "home" does not have a mirror, and hers has a mirror and I am too embarrassed to take a picture, I can tell by touching my cheeks that my cheeks have plumped up, and my arms, chest, abdomen and thighs have begun to become elastic.This indicates that there is already muscle tissue on the bone.Recently, I have clearly felt that my body is full of energy, and there is a sense of freshness that I have not experienced in more than 20 years.This feeling surprised me more than when I arrived at a large garden full of exotic flowers and plants that I had never been to before.Because this big garden is not outside, but inside my body.Many novels have written about the sound of plants jointing and seeds breaking the ground at night, but I have a unique experience of sleeping in a broken net at night and hearing the crackling of cells in my body.

Modern medicine racks its brains to study how to make people healthy. I regret that the experts did not find my experience: starve a person for three years first, and then let him be full.Without any medicine and supplements, he will change at will like Monkey King, and become a giant in a blink of an eye.Because every food molecule he eats will be immediately devoured by the greedy digestive organs, eager to transform it into human cells.It is an exaggeration to say that every catty of grain I eat can grow a catty of meat.My stomach can no longer tell what is the dregs of food, so it will be accepted as it is.