Chapter 10 ten

Back in the earthen house, several members of my team were very satisfied with the "home". The "director of the sales department" first sat his washbasin on the stove, saying that the house was so hot that he could take a bath.When eating, everyone gathered around the fire.With fire, the relationship between each other seems to be a little closer and talk more.The editor of the newspaper office did not forget his own business. On this day, he inquired about many situations. According to him, the farm occupies a large area, with more than a dozen teams scattered along the side of the mountain from north to south.Our team is a team.There are at least ten miles between the teams, and there are still twenty miles to the field.The most remote team is at the foot of the mountain, a day's journey away from here.There is a store in the field department, but now there are no other goods except salt, and the farmers and workers call it "salt office".If you want to buy something, you have to go to Zhennanbao, thirty miles away. There is a fellow villager's market there, and it seems to be the most prosperous place in this area.To enter the city, you can take the train. If you go 30 miles eastward, there is a slow train stop for one minute. There is a train at four o'clock in the morning every day.

There was no secretary in this team, and the vice-captain fell ill with edema and was lying on the kang. Captain Xie caught him because of political production.He also said that the farmers and workers said: "As long as you don't wipe the captain's hair backwards, he is still a good man." The most terrifying thing is the team at the foot of the mountain.The control there is the strictest, and it is impossible to get in and out. The farmers and workers call it the "Gate of Hell", which is dedicated to the mischievous farmers and workers on the farm. The editor of the newspaper also said that most of the peasant workers in this team were locals and farmers from Gansu and Shaanxi.Because the base of this brigade is a village in the commune, Captain Xie himself was originally the brigade secretary of the commune.In addition, there are all kinds of people in the new team: young people from the Zhejiang branch, demobilized soldiers, employed people in labor camps, downsized workers in factories, and so on.

"Tut, tsk!" the old accountant exclaimed, "This farm is more complicated than a labor camp." "Leave this poor den quickly." The "Director of the Sales Department" grumbled while washing his feet, "The reform-through-labor team still has a period, and there is no time to stay here. This place is even more fucking than a reform-through-labor team!" I didn't have the energy to listen. They gossiped.My whole body seemed to be hollowed out, and there was only one feeling left - the feeling of being tired, so tired that I didn't want to breathe, but I couldn't sleep.Sometimes, in order to eat one more bite, you have to pay far more calories than this one bite of food.It’s really not worth it when you think about it, but people still have to do it blindly, so they become weaker and weaker.I did a lot of work today, and as a result I was "gray in the face" as the woman said.The torment of physical weakness lies in the fact that you are fully aware and can feel every very subtle sign of weakness, not in the weakness itself.Because it's not a disease, it doesn't hurt; it doesn't irritate you in one part of the body or make you stunned; it's everywhere and everywhere.In fact, it would be nice to actually pass out.When I realized that I was only twenty-five years old and had no organic disease, I was so frail.Some people will convert to Buddhism in despair, some people will be cynical in despair, and some people will retreat to the mountains and forests in despair... These are all despair with subjective initiative, and he himself still has the freedom to choose.It is the most complete despair that has lost subjective initiative and lost the room for choice.This kind of despair is not the result of external influences and stimuli, but a spiritual manifestation of physical quality.The oil dries up and the lamp goes out, but the flame always fades gradually.Its last gleam, like a firefly, can still shine on you as you watch yourself die.That is.It will torture you to the end.Death is not terrible, especially when I am like this; what is terrible is that I can clearly see the whole process of my step-by-step approach to death, and see how life is pulled out of my body like a thread... ah , Lazarus!Lazarus! ①...