Chapter 4 Zhu Yijin

Hearing people call Suizi, I know that when I look back, I was two years old. Put your chin on the edge of the table, listen to the show on the radio, I was five years old, and then I would sigh "ah". One day when I ran home from outside, a braid was cut at the root. "Who cut it off!?" Grandma asked. I said, "Young revolutionary!" Big, if the peace dove lays eggs) jumped down." "You went to see it too? No wonder the revolutionary young general caught you and cut your pigtail!" Grandma said.She was holding the remaining braid, not knowing what to do with it.

"Everyone went to see it! Everyone saw that Uncle Li was moved away by others, and his belly was exposed. Everyone said that Uncle Li was 'white belly, white belly', 'good nutrition, good nutrition'. Everyone said suicide was 'deserved' " I looked in through the many legs, and what I saw was Uncle Li's white belly.I also said with white eyes like everyone else, "You deserve it!" I don't want to miss Uncle Li, I don't want to feel sad, and if I say "I deserve it", I will forget Uncle Li.I really forgot, if you don’t believe me, keep listening, in the story I told you, you will never hear “Uncle Li” again.

Hold the front teeth tightly, and press the tip of the tongue. As soon as the lips are released, the word "suicide" is coming.That was the first time my mouth uttered these two words.I was eight years old that year. My grandmother died when I was nine years old.Then I became a very quiet, very quiet person.Sometimes the neighbors came to peek at my dad to see how he would talk to himself for three hours.Seeing that it was not, Dad was talking to me, begging me to drink goat milk, begging me to eat rotten eggs, and begging me to go outside for a while.The neighbors got used to it gradually, and stopped eavesdropping on Dad talking to me in such a dead air.

The first time I talked to Wei Zhiyuan was after my grandmother passed away.He is the son of the old concierge.The old concierge retired, so he bought Wei Zhiyuan from the countryside.Wei Zhiyuan is not at all like his father. He never stood in the middle of the yard and yelled loudly: "Qiu Zhen (my father's name) is on the phone! Qiu Zhen sent it by registered mail!" As soon as the door opened, he blushed and said, "Telephone!" The secret in my heart is Wei Zhiyuan's handsomeness.I will never reveal this secret to others, and I will never let anyone find out how good-looking he is, or let everyone think he is ugly.When others said he was dull, stupid and cross-eyed, I would sneer and sneer.Of course, the "hum hum" is silent, it is only in my heart.It's like the whole world is blind, and only you can see Wei Zhiyuan's appearance.

Wei Zhiyuan sits on his father's broken bench and reads every day.When someone walked in and out, he lifted his eyes from the book a little bit, and he knew who had passed by just by looking at those feet.Sometimes he saw a large group of feet wearing fake PLA yellow rubber shoes running "plop plop plop" and all the feet were smoking. He quickly lowered his eyes, dropped them very low, and closed his eyelids.When those feet emitting yellow smoke ran away, he hurried to look at their backbones, to see whose houses those backbones wearing fake military uniforms rushed into and dragged out.Wei Zhiyuan knew a lot: whoever was dragged out never came back.

I walked over and over, and Wei Zhiyuan also recognized me from my feet.He recognized my pair of shoes: the sole turned up and the upper was stepped on the bottom.One day Wei Zhiyuan saw my pair of rolling shoes (grandmother's words) standing in front of him, and he didn't move. "Wei Zhiyuan." I called him. Without raising his eyes, he said, "The day Suizi your father dragged you away, you didn't take any milk from your family, but He Chunying took it away. Today you take a bottle from He's family." "What book are you reading, Wei Zhiyuan?" I asked him.

He said: "Your mother doesn't make shoes for you?" He looked at my shoes and showed me the cover of the book.The book has no cover.The books he read had never had a cover. The cover had been peeled off, and not even half of the words on the back of the book remained.The book has now become something without a name, a surname, and a registered permanent residence.Living here with us, even the yellow dog has a name, surname, and household registration; Aunt Zhu is a reactionary, Aunt Zhu's dog is like a thief all day long, sneaking along the black shadow at the bottom of the wall, and finally tied up and dragged away, with Aunt Zhu The same as parading the limelight.No name, no surname, no household registration, you are nothing, and everyone will not know what to do with you.Now during the Cultural Revolution here, everyone stopped reading books. Books have names, and once they have names, people will know what it is: bourgeoisie or feudalism, anti-Party or anti-revolutionary.If Aunt Zhu's name wasn't Zhu Yijin, Aunt Zhu would not be a famous actor, and she wouldn't be knocked down.No one wants to bring down Aunt Zhu, only her name.No one wanted to drag my dad to close the "cowshed". What everyone dragged was Qiu Zhen, who wrote the script.Wei Zhiyuan removed the names of all the books, and the books are not themselves. People don’t know what the things he reads that are not books are called, and what to do with them, so we all make revolution, and only Wei Zhiyuan reads them in peace. No one can see the unknown thing in the hand.

"Oh, Wei Zhiyuan." I called him so obediently, let him slowly see my red checkered trousers from my "rolling hoof" shoes, and then see my hands.I have colorful chilblains on both hands.A piece of rice porridge glistened on the chest of my coat.Then he saw my hair that was no longer uniform, and tied two knots hard like tying a robber.I saw that his eyes were as soft as a blind man's, big and dark, and his eyelashes were as long as a donkey's. Cross-eyed eyes were cross-eyed, but Liang Shanbo also had cross-eyed eyes when he looked at Zhu Yingtai. I have nothing to say to him.He didn't have anything to say to me.

In fact, I wanted to say to him every day: "Wei Zhiyuan, marry me when I grow up." My heart was pounding, and my whole body was hot like summer.He saw that I was missing two front teeth when I smiled.I know that I am very elegant without front teeth. So close, I could see the words on his book.It's all drama, and occasionally there are "evil, evil, evil, big, big, warehouse".Now I understand why his right hand keeps scratching his leg.He is scribbling.I understand the sternness.Like Aunt Zhu, she walks, smokes, and giggles sternly.Wei Zhiyuan's two fingers were still aligned and placed on his lap.The gray corduroy trousers were bald in one place, scratched by his fingers.

I sighed deeply. It turned out that there was another person who liked the opera sung by Aunt Zhu. At this time, a little old man came in, with a rope on his shoulders, and the rope was tied to a flatbed cart.After a while, when the little old man goes out, his flatbed cart will be full of waste paper.There is always a lot of waste paper in our place, because writers from all over the province live here.In the past, writers wrote books and dramas, but now they write confessions, self-criticisms, and denunciations, so a lot of waste paper is written.Revolutionary young generals in fake military uniforms would also come by once in a while to paste another layer of slogans and big-character posters on the paper-covered walls.Our writer's building used to be made of red bricks, but now not a single red brick can be seen, and it is covered with paper.When the wind blows, the whole building rattles; when it rains, ink drips all over the building, and people cannot walk under it, and ink drips every time they walk.When another batch of revolutionary teenagers arrives, the previous batch of big-character posters just pasted will become waste paper; no matter how fresh the paste smells, fresher paste will come up, and when this little old man arrives, no one’s paper will It is waste paper.He only cares about tearing happily, crisp and clear, and every time he tears, he jumps up with both feet, "Hiss, la, la, la!"

Wei Zhiyuan's parents usually don't allow this little old man to come in as concierge.Sometimes the little old man is driven far away even with his car, and the old concierge has to run for another distance.Wei Zhiyuan didn't reject anyone who came in; anyone who sold soy sauce, bought chicken feathers and duck feathers, tinkered with shoe soles, and traded toothpaste skins for glutinous rice candy could all enter the gate of the Writers Association while walking and singing. The little old man soon pulled out a cart full of white paper.If it weren't for this little old man, all of us would have been drowned in white paper and unreliable.This time he didn't pull it out, but pulled it behind the dead bamboo forest.Wei Zhiyuan's dormitory is on the other side of the dead bamboo forest.Grandma said it was a pigsty built by the Great Leap Forward, and the writer had to raise pigs himself.When all the pigs were eaten, the pigsty was built into a dormitory. The little old man piled all the papers he couldn't take outside Wei Zhiyuan's dormitory, and pressed a few pieces of Wei Zhiyuan's briquettes on each pile of paper, so the wind couldn't blow them away. I was talking about Aunt Zhu with Wei Zhiyuan.He kept staring at me with his Liang Shanbo eyes. Aunt Zhu also lives with us.The third father of her child is our vice president here.As soon as the Cultural Revolution broke out here, he was dragged away by the young revolutionary generals.Aunt Zhu cut off her long braid early so that no one would have to cut it for her.That time I brought it to my father at the Spring Festival Gala, a thin and tall woman came over, she was talking like a flying eye, and there was a bun like a big honeycomb on the back of her head.I can't move when I see it!She is the famous Zhu Yijin.She was so famous that we neighbors never got to see her.She had a cigarette in her hand, just like the famous actress I imagined.When she smiled, she showed two long rows of teeth, and each tooth was surrounded by a brown circle, just like the color inside the tea mug that my dad never washed.When she was talking to the man, she kept saying, "Oh, you're so mad at me!" Then she flicked her sleeves with her arms.As if about to throw it in someone's face, everyone looked at her invisible sleeve and blinked happily.She talked to my dad the same way, she looked at me first and said: "Lao Qiu, your daughter is so sweet, ouch, you are so mad at me!" She threw my dad a sleeve.My dad and I both drove the clouds and mist, and she was stunned.My dad must be the same as me, thinking that Aunt Zhu is the number one fairy in the world.Aunt Zhu walked away with her water sleeves waving like that. Her feet were so big that she walked as if she had no feet at all and was on a boat. At the next Spring Festival Gala, I saw Aunt Zhu again. She was wearing a dress of "the heavenly girl scattered flowers" and sang "The Drunken Concubine" on the stage.I can recite that passage word for word. The last time I saw Aunt Zhu, I was watching the criticism meeting at the gate.The stage set up temporarily was too small, and the critics had to take turns to go up there.I just want to see Aunt Zhu in a tall hat.Desperately squeeze towards a large group of tall hats squatting there waiting to come on stage.A young boy pushed me: "What are you squeezing?" I still squeeze.I saw a team of high hats step down, and another team of high hats went to the stage.I just can't see where Aunt Zhu is.Why do people look exactly the same when they wear this kind of tall hat made of white paper? The young man came over with a big hand and lifted the back of my cotton-padded jacket, like we catch dragonflies.I dangled on all fours, scratching the air vigorously. "You're the one making trouble! Little counter-revolutionaries!" When I was brought up, I saw Aunt Zhu!She pulled out her bangs under a tall hat, and her hands were blackened with ink.She rested one black hand under her armpit, and the other black hand was raised in the air, holding a cigarette. "Fuck you!" I yelled at the boy. Aunt Zhu looked up and found my thick voice. The young male general threw me away and said, "Curse me again!" "I'm fucking your grandma!" I cursed and looked at Aunt Zhu triumphantly, letting her see how much I have achieved. Aunt Zhu was silly for a while, then suddenly laughed.Covering her mouth with that blacked-out hand, she giggled. It was probably that time that I laughed badly.Since then, criticizing Aunt Zhu has been done separately, her tall hat has been heightened, and a string of worn-out shoes still hangs around her neck.Famous actresses all over the country have to hang up their shoes when they fight.Everyone said: "How can you be an actress if you don't make broken shoes?" Aunt Zhu has no problem with the tallest hat.Just don't hang up your broken shoes.Every time, I was dragged out of the gate crying and making noise.Every time Aunt Zhu was dragged out, Wei Zhiyuan stood up from the bench and respectfully stood on the side of the bench, as if offering his seat to Aunt Zhu.Fifty-year-old Aunt Zhu looks like a schoolgirl, her buttocks are pulled back, and her body is pulled to the front.Wei Zhiyuan just stood there, not knowing who to help. Aunt Zhu had an accident last night.It was her Guangdong nanny who said it.It took a lot of effort for the Guangdong nanny to let everyone understand that Zhu Yijin "did poison".Aunt Zhu changes babysitters all day long; she quits the babysitter as soon as she hears about the scandal in the neighbor's house.In the end, she went to Guangdong to find a nanny. No matter how much people wanted to hear her talk about Aunt Zhu, they couldn't understand.The revolutionary young general said to the Guangdong nanny many times: "You are liberated, you can go back to your hometown!" The Guangdong nanny thanked them well and said, "Then can you buy me a train ticket?" Aunt.Even Aunt Zhu's own children have drawn a distance from her, and they don't know where they went. "What poison?" Everyone asked. "An-sleep-medicine!" said the nanny, "One-hundred-pills!" "Oh!" Someone said, "It will take a long time to eat, right?" The nanny wiped her nose and tears like washing her face and said, "Anyway, I won't be acting anymore. One night, let's eat slowly." The door of Aunt Zhu's house was sealed, and the nanny was forcibly released.Carrying her burden, she walked out from Wei Zhiyuan's feet through the gate with the steps of fleeing famine. It was six o'clock in the evening when I went to the hospital to see Aunt Zhu.The hospital is having dinner, and the sound of enamel basins can be heard all over the building.I didn't know Aunt Zhu's bed number, so I had to search floor by floor.I asked the nurse, and the nurse asked me, "What's the disease?" I said, "No disease. It was suicide." The nurse said, "There is no suicide department in our hospital." Later I found out that this hospital really has a "suicide department".All the beds stuffed in the corridors had small signs on them, and in the box of "cause" was filled with "suicide in fear of crime".Each floor, regardless of medical or surgical, has several such beds.Patients in the suicide department are found halfway through suicide.Some were not "steady, precise, and ruthless" enough to kill, and some were afraid when they were killed, and quickly surrendered themselves.Auntie Zhu knew that at ten o'clock that night, two young men were coming to interrogate her; she had just filled her stomach with sleeping pills when they arrived, and the two pill bottles were still rolling gently on the table. When I went up to the sixth floor, I saw many people eating in the aisle.Several of them were on crutches and had difficulty standing there.There shouldn't be crutches on this floor, and the department of orthopedics is on the first floor.I squeezed through the gaps between these people, and saw a bed opposite the women's toilet, and on the bed was Aunt Zhu who was naked. I didn't know how those people with crutches could climb six floors. A male doctor and a female nurse are rescuing Aunt Zhu.The nurse was not much older than me. She gave Aunt Zhu an injection, but there was no blood; another injection, but there was no blood.The male doctor coaxed her: "Don't panic, take your time, didn't you always prick with rubber in nursing school? You won't be nervous if you treat her like a rubber..." I sighed.People usually don't see Aunt Zhu's face, let alone her naked body.I have squeezed to the front, looking back at Aunt Zhu's current audience.My spine is too small, nothing can cover Aunt Zhu. Aunt Zhu lost all sense of control now, and obeyed how she manipulated her.She kept her eyes open, only looking at the black spider webs on the ceiling.No matter how the needle pierced her flesh, she would not blink. After the nurse and doctor finished their work, they covered Aunt Zhu's white body with a white sheet.As if the curtain was closed and the audience was leaving the show, the people around shrank their necks, loosened their eyelids, smacked their lips, and walked away slowly. I ran into the nurse's duty room.An old nurse was knitting. I shouted: "Oh, I want a quilt!" The nurse said, "Who wants it?" "It's so cold, why don't you cover them with quilts?" "Where did you come from, you little devil? Get out!" She was very fierce. "Just a thin sheet!..." I competed fiercely with her.I made up my mind: as long as she drags me, I will kick over that big spittoon. "Why don't you dress people up?" The old nurse's wool came out of the needle, so she couldn't care less about dragging me.She stitched and said, "What clothes are you wearing? You have tubes stuck all over your body, don't you have eyes?... What does she know? You know that she is a Chinese cabbage, right? You don't know the cold, you don't know the shame!... " "Chinese cabbage also knows how to be cold! It also knows how to be ashamed!" I said. The male doctor came out at this moment and looked at me, his hands were full of soap bubbles.His hand touched Aunt Zhu, and he had to use so much soap!He smiled at me and said, "Is she your mother?" "It's your mother!" I said. I finally annoyed them and threw out a quilt. I covered Aunt Zhu tightly.I sat on the edge of her bed and took a short nap, and when I woke up, the quilt was pushed aside.Aunt Zhu was still lying cold and shy in the net of the rubber tube. Wei Zhiyuan lowered his head as he listened. As I was talking, I couldn't see his face, only the bluish-white hair on top of his head.The round swirl was so white that it turned blue, and I couldn't help but want to reach out and touch it.His ears were nice too, small and thin, not oddly shaped at all, with a layer of dust in them. I said, "Oh, Wei Zhiyuan." He ignores me. I said again: "Aunt Zhu may not die. They said she might wake up in a few days. The young revolutionary said that once she wakes up, they will lock her up with others and she won't eat Sleeping pills." He still ignores me.In fact, he never paid much attention to me.In fact, he never really talked to anyone.Someone said that in the early morning before dawn, they heard someone singing in the men's room, and they all sang the duet of men and women: he sang in the male accent, and he hummed the huqin to accompany the female accent.I ran in and saw that the opera singer was Wei Zhiyuan.He squatted on the latrine, singing so touchingly, his eyes were red. In fact, Wei Zhiyuan was looking after the door, but he wasn't looking at the door at all in his heart.Once he brought a large stack of paper to my house and said that he had written a play for Aunt Zhu, and asked my dad for advice.After he left, my dad stuffed the stack of papers under the bed.The manuscripts were stuffed under his bed, and new ones were stuffed in before the mouse finished eating the old ones.As long as someone asked my dad to return the manuscript, my dad would slap him on the shoulder and say, "That's a damn good job! Work hard, and make a few more revisions!" He was happy when he heard it, even if Dad used his manuscript. He doesn't care about wiping his ass. Wei Zhiyuan was different. A week later, he came back to tap my door with his fingers.My dad pulled up his heels and was about to go out.Wei Zhiyuan stood at the door with his face washed white.My dad said: "Who is calling?" Wei Zhiyuan said: "No..." My dad said: "Registered mail?" Wei Zhiyuan smiled and said: "You asked me to come in a few days. My script..." My dad didn't have time to play tricks and said, "Oh...I'm seeing something wonderful! How about next week? I'll talk to you, huh?" Wei Zhiyuan still didn't leave, and asked, "What time?" My dad said impatiently: "What time is fine, what time is fine!" Dad closed the door and said, "This kind of person also wants to write a script! This kind of person also wants to write a script for Zhu Yijin to sing..." He grinned like a toothache.He had no choice but to go under the bed and dig up and dig out a stack of manuscripts. The surroundings were gnawed by mice into jagged edges of postage stamps. He patted the black and numb mouse droppings on it and said, "He also writes scripts, so I can do it." The woman has given birth!" Dad had just made tea and lit a cigarette to read Wei Zhiyuan's manuscript. Uncle Li came in with a chess box and a chessboard.At that time, Uncle Li didn't expect that he would jump off the peace dove half a year later. Wei Zhiyuan came again in the second week.Hearing his "tack-tat-tat" knock on the door, my dad hurriedly put on my mother's dirty coal-handling gloves, and as soon as the door opened, he said to Wei Zhiyuan, "Look, look! We're moving coal cakes!..." Wei Zhiyuan remained silent. According to my father's will, I moved the briquettes from my kitchen to the drying table piece by piece, and my white face was blackened with sweat.My dad said to him, "Next week? I'm tired today." Wei Zhiyuan came here every week.Later, the Cultural Revolution also came and saved my dad. That's when I started to like Wei Zhiyuan.I have become a very quiet person, but I still have something to say with Wei Zhiyuan.I told him many secrets, for example, I always go to the vegetable market to pick up coins when it rains.Because it rains, people can't hear the coins falling on the ground.I saved a lot of coins, and sometimes my mother would ask me to borrow them, and I urged her to pay me back, and she would smile mischievously: "I will lend you a small amount of money, and I will pay you back a lot of money in the future!" The faces of adults when they borrow money from children are very, very interesting.Sometimes I generously lend money just to see my mom's funny face. Aunt Zhu has been in the hospital for three days, and she is still the same: most of the time she lies quietly, and occasionally moves around for a while, kicking away the quilt I covered her well.I brought a small folding chair from home and sat beside her bed.Everyone came to see her body, and when they saw me sitting there with staring eyes, they were not very embarrassed.I seldom go to the bathroom, and I'm short of breath when I hold my breath, and I only go when my legs are twisted.Because every time I come back from the toilet, Aunt Zhu's body is always bright there.I also try not to sleep, except to sleep me, there is no other way.Once I was so sleepy that my mind was not clear, and I saw the electrician come to the bed. He saw that my head was crooked and my eyes were closed like a plague chicken, so he pretended to relax his mouth and dropped the cigarette butt on Aunt Zhu's quilt.He immediately pretended to be flustered and patted the quilt, for fear that the butt of the cigarette would set Aunt Zhu on fire, and threw his hands up and down on Aunt Zhu.The quilt still couldn't be slapped off by him.He simply grabbed the quilt and shook it, as if to shake off the danger of fire.As soon as his eyes fell on Aunt Zhu's body, his hands froze.This thin and white body is shrinking and drying up every day, the arms of the two water sleeves are starting to wrinkle, the chest is thin and flat, and a bright and dazzling orange rubber tube is wound up from nowhere.The electrician didn't move.Only the big olive stone on the neck is moving.I don't know whether he thinks Aunt Zhu's body is too ugly or too beautiful.Aunt Zhu is a stuffed white butterfly. It was nailed here before it died, and anyone can look at it however they want.She doesn't defend herself, and shows her slowly dying process in front of your eyes.Her past beauty is gone, and her past dancing has stopped... The electrician heard a noise from my side, looked back and saw tears streaming down my face. Two days later it will be New Year's Eve, and my mother came to the hospital to arrest me.I'm not going back. "Your dad has been released from the cowshed for the New Year!" Mom didn't dare to speak loudly, but tried her best, so she winked. I said I would guard Aunt Zhu.There are so many people who want to lift Aunt Zhu's quilt, and they can't keep it, how can they go away? Ma said, "It's been five days and she's not getting better!" I said I couldn't leave Aunt Zhu with those eyes, those eyes were not worthy of looking at Aunt Zhu's face. Mom looked at my dirty and stubborn face, and said after a while, "Aunt Zhu is getting better, and she is still famous on the stage, so I won't remember you!" When Aunt Zhu wakes up, the first thing I want to say to her is: "Don't go back to the stage." Mom decided not to babble with me, and she would leave if she came up and teased me.Her cold, soft scent of cream made me feel so dear, so dear.I looked back at Aunt Zhu, she was still lying miserable under the dirty quilt.I suddenly hugged my mother's hand tightly with both hands. The only hand in the world that smells like cream is clean.It is safe and fortunate to be held by this hand. I took my mother's hand and went home.Dad became an old farmer, and he put his chin on the edge of the table in a daze, drinking porridge.He and Mom asked me anything and I didn't make a sound.After guarding Aunt Zhu for five days and five nights, I have become an even quieter person.I sucked the hot porridge into my mouth one bite at a time, and my newly sprouted front teeth were scalded by the porridge. I just want to talk to one person.Wei Zhiyuan.He is no longer sitting on that bench, and he has gone somewhere.A man from Henan, sharpening scissors and cooking knives, walked into the gate singing and singing. I went back to the hospital after New Years Eve.Aunt Zhu's bed was empty, and the oxygen cylinder was still lying there.A bunch of tubes that used to go in and out of her body were thrown on the bed in a mess, and there were some medicines left in the large and small bottles hanging on the infusion stand, without a single bubble, and it became stagnant water. I knocked open the door of the nurse's duty room.This time it was a young nurse who was also knitting, her eyebrows were raised on her forehead, and she was pulling her eyelids, otherwise the eyelids would be closed anyway. I asked her where Aunt Zhu had gone. Her eyes widened and then narrowed again.The stitches in my hand told me perfectly: the hospital was short-staffed on New Year's Eve, and all the patients were allowed to go home for the New Year. I don't know who took the opportunity to pull out Zhu Yijin's oxygen tube, and pulled out all the tubes and needles. "What about Aunt Zhu?" My mind was rumbling, and I couldn't hear myself clearly. "Dead." I stare at the nurse. "That's not dead?" The nurse stretched. "Who pulled it out?" I asked after a long time. "How would I know? Oh, you close the door! This little heat is not enough for you to let it out!... What are you looking at me for? Tell you that she is dead!" Aunt Zhu died.I walked down the empty hallway to the stairs.Not a soul, not a single audience.It really broke up.I feel like I'm drowsy. Early in the morning I went to find Wei Zhiyuan.The bench was still empty.I stepped on the dead bamboo leaves through the dead bamboo forest to knock on the door of his pigsty dormitory.Wei Zhiyuan locked the door from the inside, knocking on my fingers until the bones of my fingers almost shattered, and the door opened a crack.In the crack of the door was Wei Zhiyuan's face like a dove, with cross-eyed eyes not looking at me, but looking at my back. I told him that someone killed Aunt Zhu.He said he knew.He doesn't bring a smelly heater like someone who just got up early in the morning.He was cold awake. I said it was cold outside and I wanted to go in.He said you can't go in.I said I must go in, he said you go away.I said I had to go in, but he said get the hell out of here. The door is closed.I suddenly felt that Wei Zhiyuan was not alone in his room.I ran to the back window, which was covered with newspaper.Look, the newspaper is from yesterday!The little old man who picked up the waste paper piled the waste paper piles by the wall, and I piled them up and climbed up.I am standing on the windowsill now.You can reach out and touch a bunch of dusty black flocs hanging in the cracks of the tiles. There was a crack in the top of the window that the newspaper didn't cover.I stood on tiptoe and put my eyes on the slit.Books piled up all around the roof, all shirtless and without covers.Wei Zhiyuan squatted in the middle of the room, tore out a book page by page, and stuffed it into the small stove.My eyes searched every corner of the room, and he was indeed the only one in the room.I also had the feeling that there must be another person somewhere. That's when I saw his bed.The bed was also cold sober with a crumpled green patch in the center of the bed.I recognized it: it was Aunt Zhu's handkerchief.Aunt Zhu was completely stripped, except for this handkerchief tied in her hair, which must have been the only outfit she could think of before taking the sleeping pills. Wei Zhiyuan never looked up to find me.He just kept quiet like that, stuffing the book into the stove page by page. I jumped off the pile of waste paper and walked back along the yellow and white dead bamboo forest.Dead bamboo leaves slammed urgently under my feet.As soon as I got out of the bamboo grove, I turned around and saw gray paper ash flying out of the iron chimney on Wei Zhiyuan's roof. Some pieces were big, some pieces were small, and they kept turning over in the gray sky. After the year passed, Wei Zhiyuan resigned and went back to the countryside.Sometimes I would sit on his bench and look at people's feet just like him.I became a quieter person.