Chapter 8 about survival

About Survival (1) Until now, I think survival is the first thing a person has to face. When I was young, I didn't have such a feeling. I felt that all the things I got seemed to be taken for granted.So when I saw beautiful clothes and smelled delicious food, I would tell my father, I want it. Only slowly, it turns out that not every child can have the same things. It seems that when I walk through the alley wearing a beautiful denim dress, I attract envious eyes from other children, but most of the time, I will find that my neighbor and good friend, her family There are always more toys in it than me.When I asked my father why he didn't buy it for me, my father was silent, and my grandma would say beside me, children don't understand things, they don't know that these things cost money, don't you know how hard your father works?

More than twenty years later, when my daughter was clamoring to buy toys, her grandma, although a Hong Kong native, said the same thing as my Shanghai grandma: These things cost money.Don't you know how hard your mother works to earn money? This is how people start, knowing the importance of money in life.Slowly, as I grew up, I began to understand that earning a living is not easy at all. Most people, like me, don't have a rich dad, so after graduating from college, they need to find a job by themselves.The first is to be able to support yourself. After getting married, most of them, like me, did not find a husband with a lot of money. The two wage earners joined together and began to plan for their own small life.If you want to buy a house and have children, you have to plan for the children to go to school. . . . . . .This is how most people live.The same is true of my life.

Working days in Shenzhen I still remember the days when I first arrived in Shenzhen.During those days, I really understood what survival is. Because of my mother, after graduating from university, I went to Shenzhen and gave up my job in a foreign-funded company to help out in my mother's company.The so-called company is actually that kind of leather bag company.My mother and a few of her relatives who came to Shenzhen with the dream of getting rich, who are also employees of her company, were busy every day in a farmer’s house in Shenzhen, meeting all kinds of people.In my mother's words, this is how business is created and negotiated.

My mother disappeared from my life when I was four years old, and then suddenly reappeared when I was eighteen.For me as a teenager, my mother was a mysterious and intimate figure in my imagination.So when she said that she hoped that I could go to Shenzhen to help after graduating from university, I went there without hesitation. I remember that my father didn’t say anything at that time, he always did this, whenever I wanted to decide what to do, he always said nothing, even if I stood in front of him with a bloody head, He still didn't say anything. I still remember that summer, I carried a box and came to the place where my mother was both an office and a residence.My mother's first words were, why do you look so badly dressed.That day, I was wearing a simple white shirt and a long floral skirt.My mother always thinks that I am not beautiful, because in her eyes, it is difficult for me to find a rich boyfriend.My mother, who looks very young, told me, don’t say that I am her daughter in front of outsiders. These days, a woman wants to do business and hang around here. Don’t let people know her age, don’t let people know her marriage. The situation will be more cost-effective.

At that time, I thought sincerely, this mother who has never lived together, how difficult she has gone through, I should help her.So I said yes. In the following days, I slowly began to understand the difficulties of life.Opposite the house I live in is the collective dormitory for migrant girls from Hunan.I can see them every day when it is time to eat. Many of them are holding a bowl of white rice and a bottle of chili sauce, eating with relish. And our life is not rich.I discovered that my mother would do any business as long as she could make some money, even if it was just a little bit.Although my mother always rushes to pay the bill when inviting others to dinner, but at home, each meal is always saved to only one vegetarian dish and one meat dish.

But my mother is the kind of person who pretends to be a millionaire in front of others even if she only has two dollars in her pocket.That is to say, until now, going around and around, she is still living in this way. My mother would disappear suddenly for a while, and the landlord would come to me for rent.These relatives of his have to cook every day.There was a day when I had only two bucks in my pocket, looking at them, looking at this place, I really wanted to cry.Because I don't know how to live tomorrow after the two yuan is used up. When my mother disappeared, I had to earn my own money to support the family and support myself at the same time.Relying on the relationship of my classmates, I received a gift business.I still remember that my classmates and I went to other people's factories to negotiate with others.But others quickly saw through what my reserve price was, and the contract was signed a bit bleakly.But anyway, I made a little money, and I was already very satisfied in my heart.

Another time, my mother dragged a hundred cartons of beverages from somewhere, and shipped them to Shenzhen from the northeast.And she didn't know where to go.I scrambled to find a warehouse to store these drinks, but began to worry about the storage fee. Facing a lot of beverages whose names I have never heard of, my classmate and I pushed bicycles and started selling from one small store to another. Asking for help is really a matter of courage. You have to face merciless rejection from others, or the kind of unwillingness to answer. Looking back now, fortunately, I was young at that time and just walked out of school, but I was able to bear it. Things, if it is now, it is really hard for me to imagine myself, can I still do such things like that at that time.

About Survival (2) And just like that, braving the heat and, as I recall, one rainy afternoon, our bikes fell to the ground and a case of drinks fell off the backseat.At that time, there was a kind of despair for a moment, and I felt that I could not do anything.I know this classmate of mine felt the same way I did at that time. Fortunately, however, our weakness lasted only a short time, as I recall, we picked up our bikes and went on from shop to shop, selling our drinks. In the end, I remember, a kind-hearted person was finally moved by us, so we made a little more money, and finally we were able to solve the livelihood problems of a large group of people for a month.

This kind of life lasted for several months, and soon I discovered that my mother and I had very different values ​​and ways of living. My mother always gave me examples of young girls around her.So-and-so married a rich old man, so-and-so married a Hong Kong businessman, or so-and-so became a mistress, and she got so much real estate. In my mother's eyes, money is the most important thing, no matter what, don't make trouble with money, because only enough money can survive. But I don't see it that way.I think that if you really fall in love with someone, that person is rich, which is a good thing, but if it's just for money, it's not worth it.

We had a falling out, and I broke up with her since then, but for me at that time, I had no way to go back to Shanghai, so I had to start from scratch in Shenzhen. In order to make a living, in the first few months, I did all kinds of work.Hotel waiters, warehouse managers, and the secretaries of the bosses of state-owned enterprises who have nothing to do every day.The main reason for changing jobs was salary, because I had to rent a house and meet daily expenses, so at that time, the primary criterion for choosing a job was whether the salary was high.Until later, on the recommendation of a friend, I joined an international accounting firm, and my life was back on track.

The reason why I say this is because if I hadn’t chosen to come to Shenzhen and followed my mother, I would have done well in foreign-funded enterprises like many of my classmates after a few months.Sometimes, I feel that I seem to have wasted half a year.But looking back now, I really want to thank my mother for the days in Shenzhen. Because during these days, I have seen how so many people who are struggling at the bottom of their lives live, and I have also come into contact with all kinds of people who are doing different things. Some people follow the rules and slowly look for opportunities, while others People use unfair means, hoping to make the most money in the shortest time.But their initial starting point is the same, in order to survive. During these days, I also experienced that many times in order to survive, one must have enough courage and tenacity to face the people and things in this society. My classmate, after we stayed together in Shenzhen for a month, he returned to his hometown in a remote county in Hunan. He said that his ideal is to work in a TV station. Then I heard that he worked in the county TV hosts children's programs.Then we lost touch. Eight years later, when we met again in Beijing, he was already a director of Zhuhai TV, and I was a reporter of Phoenix Satellite TV.He told me that it took him five years to enter the provincial TV station from the county seat, and then come to Zhuhai alone, the whole process from a non-staff to a regular employee of the TV station.He said that those days in Shenzhen taught him how to encourage himself to go on in difficult times.