Chapter 11 11. Good luck design

If you have many regrets in this life, when you are unlucky, especially after the unlucky mood gradually calms down or becomes numb, you can stay alone for a while, smoke a cigarette, and think about the next life.You may wish to imagine (or even design) your own afterlife as you like.You might as well try it.When I am unlucky, at least I think this is a good medicine-it can calm the nerves first, and then it can be invigorating, just like a gambler who is used to losing keeps his repeated defeats behind him, and even if he loses all his pants, he will still be ready for the next one. The game is full of curiosity and the urge to win.There's nothing wrong with that.What's wrong with that?It's nothing more than superstition, well, you just believe in it once.It is nothing more than saying that this is unscientific, okay, besides, science is powerless to deal with the facts of luck and bad luck.It is nothing more than to say that this is fantasy, this is self-deception, this is dreaming, and it is useless.So hope it works?Does hope have to be proven to be attainable?Of course, these are almost nonsense, how can I think of so many nonsense when I am lucky?When I got lucky, I just thought how good it would be to be lucky, and how good it would be if I could be lucky.How good will it be?Think about it, there is no harm in thinking about it, why not think about it?I often think like this, and I often waste a lot of time doing such stupid things.

I think, if there is an afterlife, I will first take advantage of several innate advantages: smart, beautiful and a good body.Fate is not fair from the very beginning, people are born with lucky and unlucky people.For example, if a person is stupid, should he blame himself?However, all the consequences caused by this are completely on his own responsibility-he may be the one who is least loved by his parents among his brothers and sisters, and he may often be reprimanded by teachers and ridiculed by classmates because of this. He became even more inferior and dejected, and after being scorned, he didn't know who to blame for this matter.For another example, if a person is born ugly, quite ugly, no matter how hard he tries to improve his beauty, it will not help. Is this his fault or his sin?No, well, no.Then why is it that he is rarely liked by girls?Therefore, marriage becomes extremely difficult. Once a beautiful girl falls in love with him, how many people are surprised and puzzled, and finally have a child, not to mention others, even he himself hopes that the child will not look like himself .Why should he be like this?Why should he be ridiculed, nicknamed dumbfounded, pitied, and treated with care by well-meaning people?Besides the body, some people are born with broad shoulders and long legs, handsome and handsome (or graceful and charming), born with good muscles and bones, can run fast and jump high, have great strength and endurance, and are full of energy. It is rare to get sick, but some people are born inferior in everything on the contrary.For the body, my experience is even more serious.For example, when writing articles, some people don’t feel tired after writing for a whole day, but when I write continuously for three or four hours, my eyes will turn black.For example, I went on a field trip with my friends, and I arrived at the place full of joy and whimsy. Everyone's enthusiasm was high and elegant, but I was so tired that I could only let everyone down.So I really hope to have a good body in the next life.I don't think about it in this life, I just hope that in the next life I can reincarnate cautiously, have a strong and graceful figure and physique like Carl Lewis, have a chic and beautiful appearance and demeanor like Zhou Enlai, and have wisdom and wisdom like Albert Einstein General brain and inspiration.

Since it is a dream, let it be perfect.Why even the dream should be so restrained and so humble?I dreamed about it in ecstasy and in the utmost selfishness. The place of birth is also very important.When I was in the queue twenty years ago, I met many healthy, beautiful and especially intelligent teenagers in the remote and isolated countryside of northern Shaanxi.I thought at the time that if they were born in the right place they would be able to do a lot, whatever they do they would be great.But in that poor country, eating a full stomach is quite an honorable achievement, how can there be any extravagance to think about culture?So they don't have the opportunity to go to school, and of course they don't have books to read, they can't read newspapers, TV, or even movies. They don't know what the outside world is like, so they can only follow the old path of their ancestors, working from sunrise to sunset. And rest, planting in spring, harvesting in autumn, busy in summer and idle in winter, day after day and year after year.Time passed as usual, and then they grew up, married wives and had children, started a family and started a business, gradually exhausted their talents and turned into simple men without dreams.Then, it can be expected that they will also grow old like their parents, and only the monotonous years will leave their doomed marks on them.And why do people want to live this time?But it has not yet become a problem in their old hearts.Then, fearing, praying, panicking, they submit to death at will.And then what?Then if there is no change in that place, their children must still grow up, grow old, and dull their dreams in this way, and complete the same process from generation to generation.Maybe it's luck?Maybe they have less dreams than me and therefore less pain than me?Did they also envision their own afterlife?How could they conceive of their afterlife with no or such meager dreams?I have no idea.I have no idea.I just hope that my next life will not be like them, absolutely not like this.

So where should you be born?Wouldn't it be good to be born in a big city and a famous family in your house?Your father is a president with great achievements, either a rich tycoon, or a famous scholar, or your parents are unusual people, you grew up in an environment where you were loved and admired, What is presented to you is a carefree reality, a brilliant prospect, opportunities that come from both sides, and a smooth and smooth journey... But is this good?Generally speaking, such a situation is also a kind of disability and a kind of cage.This kind of situation often creates stupid people, the probability of not being stupid is very small, and the proportion of making a difference is very low, and generally girls of some level are unwilling to admire such people; of course, there are also geniuses with outstanding intelligence among them, and there are also some who have made great achievements There have also been enlightened people with a clear mind, but after all, the probability is very small and the proportion is very low.There is a considerable risk in this. You must be cautious in your next life, and you must not be negligent and careless. You will be a fool if you can't stand it any longer in this life.

It is not good to be born in a remote village and risk being ignorant; it is not good to be born in a noble family and risk arrogance and ignorance. How about being born somewhere in between?Hmm, probably not bad. How about a position where you know both the richness and splendor of human civilization and the ups and downs of life?Yes, Not Bad. Not only understand the luxurious and dangerous life of the dignitaries, but also understand the poor and affectionate years of the common people, how is this position?Ok!Not bad, good! Not only has the opportunity to read a lot of books and go to a university for further study, but also has the experience of wandering around the world alone in society; not only can you get a good teacher at a critical moment, if there is a god to help, but you have to rely on your own hard work in everything at all times. ;I have tasted the beauty of human friendship and love, and I also know the normality of the world, so I can "see the world clearly, and then love it" as Romain Rolland said. ——How good is this position?it is good.Really good.That's all well and good, but where is such a position?

in the next life.in the afterlife.As long as it is good, we can design it.Let's take our time and design it carefully.I see no reason not to design it this way.Don't be discouraged, don't be discouraged, truth and falsehood don't belong to the category of dreams and hopes, let's have a "good luck design" as you like. You'd better be born in a family of ordinary intellectuals. That is to say, your father is an intellectual, but you must not be the kind of intellectual who is too popular, otherwise, the danger and misfortune of "the famous family in your family" may still fall on you: you may not have a healthy person. , Simple childhood, you may not have a group of romantic partners, you will miss the only chance to enjoy pure friendship and feel the holy sorrow, and that is childhood, the real childhood.If a person grows up, if he can't miss his childhood foolishness, if he can't think about it silently, or if he still broods over the past when he was a child, it is a great shortcoming. For our "good luck design", it is a mistake with endless consequences. .You should have as your friends a whole bunch of boys and girls from different families, with whom you have serious fights and rifts, and then cry and make up again.Tell them your secrets, tell no one the secrets they tell you, set up a code, and once the code is issued, you all have to sneak out of the house no matter what you are doing, and plot something that will make the grown-ups laugh and cry. event.When your parents aren't home, call your best friends over for any reason—say, because it's your birthday or because your birthday is more than a month away, and you have as much fun as you want for a day.Toss and eat everything you can eat in the refrigerator when you are hungry, and then continue to celebrate with singing and dancing, until you accidentally smashed one of your father's precious works of art for nothing, and your sweat was frozen for a while, but This is your chance to die for your friends, you go pale but pat your chest and say it's nothing to be afraid of, then send them all away, and you plot a lie all by yourself in fear (if you don't have a cat at home, You remember: neighbors don't necessarily have cats).You can also go on an adventure with your friends to a place that is said to be the most terrifying, such as a wilderness far away from home, an empty house, an isolated island, an abandoned ancient temple on an isolated island, and eerie deserted mounds around the ancient temple. ...are alternative places where you take money from your own drawer instead of someone else's drawer for emergencies; you keep it from your parents and, if necessary, from your sister or brother; You can go without those girls, but if they insist on following, you have no choice but to go and leave without turning back.It's okay to tear your new hat and lose one of your new shoes, it's okay to touch your knees with blood, spill a bottle of purple syrup on your white shirt, it's okay, you forgot to do your homework, and you put two live toads in your schoolbag A dead crow it doesn't matter, your mother won't let you, because when the sunset is fading and the night is getting darker, your father can't hold his breath, he is going to report the crime, you They all came back suddenly, exhausted and confused, but after all, they came back intact. Your mother is lucky or not, but can you have any other extravagant hopes? "They're back, they're back!" As if the whole world had been peacefully liberated, a group of fathers who were usually majestic ran out obediently to greet you, and the same group of mothers turned their worries into joy and caressed your faces and kissed you Your forehead: "Where have you been, oh my god, do you still know to come back!" You just lie on the sofa in a big way, eating and drinking, "I'm so tired, oh, I'm so tired! "You are like this, no problem, tell some unwarranted thrilling stories to scare them and intoxicate yourself, you have to be like this.As long as this is the case, all hats, trousers, shoes, homework and schoolbags, live toads and dead crows are insignificant. (When you grow up to my age, you tell them that those thrilling stories are all inspired by you to avoid being beaten, then your old parents will definitely not beat you up again, but still Maybe rubbing your face or even kissing your forehead.) But it is important that you come back safely from this adventure anyway - as all dramas need when they are not about to end, otherwise the rest of the Good luck cannot be unfolded.Yes, your childhood should be like this, and you should design it according to this idea. The childhood of a lucky person must be like this.I don't have enough paper to write on, it should be more colorful than this when it comes to implementation.For example, you can still make a little trouble with good sense. A lucky child should have a little trouble, and he should have encountered some difficulties, a liar or two, a villain or two, a fool or two and a Two people who don't worry and are good at talking.A lucky kid should be a little wild.Of course your father is an out-and-out intellectual, because a lucky person must be influenced by culture since he was a child, and he doesn’t have to worry about anything, but if there is a chance to make you admire knowledge, the reason why you design your father as an intellectual , the whole reason lies in this.

Your mother should be knowledgeable too, but don't care as much for books as your father does for you.Don't be like some stupid educated women who think that their fame will be difficult, so they gamble all their hopes on their children. When they give birth to a girl, they hope that she will be Mrs. Curie in the future. Made a little Beethoven.Don't let such a mother fall on us. If you don't listen to her, you feel sorry for her. If you listen to her, you will find that she is sorry for you.She hangs you on the wall like a famous painting, takes three steps back and narrows her eyes to watch you, and holds you in her mouth like a plum, savoring you upside down.How about you?Standing there creaking and torturing a good violin, shaking when I think of the violin when I grow up, or memorizing words and chemical equations day and night, growing up to be either a fool or a thug.Your mother certainly wasn't like that.Having knowledge is not having a diploma, and your mother may not have a diploma.To have knowledge is not to be occupied by knowledge, and your mother is not a slave to knowledge.To have knowledge is not only to have the knowledge of things, but also to have the understanding of people.A lucky mother must be a lucky mother, a wise mother, and a gifted mother. She has been inspired since she became a mother. The way she educates you is not from pedagogy, but from her understanding of all living things. Even the heartfelt love of the universe, the heartfelt trembling and prayer, the heartfelt calm and passion.When you were young, she just took you along, at home, on the street, to the market, and to the suburbs. She rarely gave you any orders, and never gave you a direction with a purpose. Walk and walk. You'll love her, go and go, and you'll love the world she loves.When you grow up, she will let you go where you want to go. She firmly believes that you will love this world.She has only one wish, that is, you can come back often, and you can come back sometimes.

When you are two or three years old, you just play, play all day long, don't worry about reciting "Three Hundred Tang Poems" and mastering addition and subtraction within a hundred digits, just play with a lock without a key and a lock without a key. The key to the lock, play with piss and mud, then play with your grandpa's beard without washing your hands.When you are four or five years old, you still play, but you have to play smarter. Drill a few holes in your mother's leather shoes to see what effect it will have. Sprinkle sand into your father's tape recorder to see if the sound works. Even more amazing.When you were in elementary school, I thought it was enough for you to score three or four points in all your homework, and spend the rest of your time doing other things so that your parents could have a chance to pay for a few pieces of glass.Once you go to middle school, especially high school, almost all the acquaintances don’t know you anymore, and they all have to look at you with admiration: you won prizes in math competitions, physics competitions, composition competitions, and foreign language competitions. You didn't win the prize but later it turned out that was just a miscalculation by the teacher.But it doesn't matter. These awards and awards are not enough to constitute your good luck. Your good luck means that you don't actually spend too much time on your homework.You have a wide range of hobbies, many abilities and talents, and you come up with whimsical ideas one after another. You don't take it seriously when others say you are not doing your job properly, and you are still fascinated by all your interests.

You love music, classical symphony, modern rock music, gentle opera oratorio, rough and unrestrained folk country songs, even melodious and sad hawking, lonely and bleak wind, warm and leisurely festival news.You are all fascinated when you hear it, sad but silent, excited and majestic, mysterious and empty, you are so lucky to survive.The mystery infused into your heart so that you will never behave. You like art, paintings, sculptures, colorful pottery, simple and naive paper-cutting, walking alone in the uninhabited wilderness, sailing in the sea with wide water and sky, trekking in the mountains and forests, Watching the lonely smoke in the desert, watching the sunset over the long river, watching the gulls and birds soaring freely, watching the old elephant go to death calmly, you feel life from the color, appreciate the space from the shape, smell the flow of time from the line, and discover the life in the direction connecting the world shout.You are a lucky person because you are so lucky, so you prostrate at the feet of nature, offer your awe and gratitude, and at the same time, God bestows you with indomitable creative feelings.

You are enviably lucky, as sports are also your forte. 9"91, get it? 2:5'59", get it?That is to say, no matter how long the distance is from 100 meters to a marathon, no one can run faster than you; 2.45m, 8.91m, do you know what this means?That is to say, no one can jump higher or farther than you; break through 23m, 80m, 100m, that is to say, whether it is shot put, discus or javelin, there is still no opponent in the throwing competition.Of course, this is not enough. How can good luck be enough?You can do almost all sports: swimming, skiing, skating, football, basketball, even fencing, equestrianism, shooting, and even triathlon... You play everything wonderfully, freely and beautifully.When you run, the skin of your body rolls like waves and flutters like a flag; when you jump up, it seems that the ground has become elastic, and the air has a support, and you are swimming in the waves, curling up, and appearing like ghosts; in the ice field and snow field, You toss and roll like the wind; life to you is a festival, a celebration, a carnival... That's not sport anymore, you've made sport more than sport, lucky man, that's Dance is the most natural and honest dance in the world, it is art, the simplest and most brilliant art form chosen by God.At this time, including you, even your body and mind are all art. You are the lucky person, the luckiest person in the world, but you are chosen by God to be the embodiment of beauty.

Then you have the season of love.You're 18, or 19 or 20.At this time, you are studying in a prestigious university, and you are studying the most admirable department and the most awesome major. You are doing well, and various awards and awards are clamoring for you.Now your height is 1.88 meters, your Adam's apple starts to protrude, and a black but soft beard begins to appear on your lips. It is at this time that your voice becomes thick and charming, and it is at this time that your 100-meter score Start to break through 10 seconds, and your movements, sitting, lying, and gestures are full of masculine brilliance... In short, due to the various advantages or advantages we have designed, the girls who are obviously chasing you and love you quietly It is already in groups, you often see their strange eyes in the classroom, you can hear their chattering to you in the cafeteria, they are overwhelmed by your singing at the party, and they are attracted by you at the sports meeting. Excited and unfeelingly cheered by your appearance, but you always just refuse, refuse, politely and sincerely refuse, kindly and cleverly evade, and make some pretentious girls cry aggrievedly.But one day, you were jogging on the playground, and you suddenly saw a strange girl jogging, and she was no less fit than you.Her slender legs and nimble steps are no less than yours, life's love for her, youth's generosity to her are no less than yours, but she doesn't seem to notice you at all, she just keeps her eyes on her as she runs, as if There is nothing in this world except her and her beauty, and she doesn't even notice her and her beauty, just let it flow freely, let it flow naturally.But you are shocked by her beauty and confidence, stunned by her elegance and robustness, and you are dazed and at a loss by her sudden arrival. (We can also make a "good luck design" for her, she is a perfect creation of God, there should be a perfect woman in this world for a lucky man, and vice versa.) So you don't He ran away, lying on the railing beside the runway, forgetting everything, just looking at her.She ran so softly, so calmly, so gracefully, so brilliantly.You want to smile at her and show her a little respect, but she doesn't give you the chance, she runs around and around without ever noticing you, and then she's gone.It's very simple, that is to say, it's time for her to go after running, so she left.It means she's gone, gone for a long time and you're still standing there.That is to say, you are the only one left in the empty playground, and you feel melancholy and lonely for the first time—she doesn’t know who you are, and you don’t know where she comes from.But you have her in mind.But luck is still with you.You saw her again in the library after that, and you finally figured out which department she was in after all your efforts.You saw her again in the swimming pool after that, and you picked up her name from someone else, obliquely.Then you saw her again at the skating rink, and you finally got her attention by showing off all your tricks and feats around her.Afterwards you had lunch with her again at a friend's house (you and your friend had planned this for a long time), and now you finally know each other, and you talked a lot, in a friendly and lively way.From now on, either you will find her, or she will come to you, spring, summer, autumn, winter, spring, summer, autumn, winter, if she will come to you, or you will find her, spring, summer, autumn and winter... In short, in short, you will finally get married.You're a lucky guy - at least that's what our "lucky design" says - so you're lucky. As you may have noticed, our "good luck design" is a bit sloppy by now.Yes.But it's by no means that we can't make it more detailed, more perfect, more romantic, and more charming, but I suddenly have a little doubt, feel a little confused, a faint shadow has appeared and is approaching us, I hope We can get rid of it, we can undo it. Here's how the shadows first emerge: Can you bliss out in a love and marriage that is so satisfying, smooth, and fulfilling?In other words, there is no setback, no ups and downs, no hopeless hope, no heart-piercing torment, no insanity and madness that is too painful to live, no pursuit and waiting that never regrets, when success comes, you will feel emotional Wanduan joy?Will there be unforgettable happiness after the success comes?Or, how far can this joy go?How long can this happiness be cherished?Will it dilute its charm because of its smoothness?Will it block desire, limit imagination, and lose passion because of perfection, so that in the long years to come, a set of economic laws, a physiological procedure, and a physical time have been followed, but the mind has been barren, and then Boredom, then gossip to kill the boredom, then numbness, then gags to intensify the numbness—wouldn't it be?Could it be so?The earth holds the moon in its arms so conveniently and satisfactorily, there is no cloudy weather, no tides, no distance, no distance, no repulsion, no gravity, what is that? ?Clearly, that is death.Of course everything is going there, of course that is the destination of everything, the universe is heading towards heat death.But at this moment the universe is spinning, speeding, singing and dancing wildly, taking advantage of the long distance of the stars and the long time, enjoying its journey, enjoying the immortal meditation after the collapse, enjoying the glorious chant after the explosion, and enjoying the pursuit And waiting, this is luck, this is real luck, it is precisely the magnificent swaying before death, this splendid burning is the unique opportunity for the lucky ones.You are a lucky man, and you have to keep that in mind.So you can't imitate the dream of ordinary people, and we can't be satisfied with the design of this clear sky, sunny day, calm water and calm wind.The so-called good luck and the so-called happiness are obviously not an objective procedure, but a feeling of the heart, a strong sense of happiness.Happiness, yes.You can't feel happiness intensely without pain and suffering, yes.It's just comfort, it's mediocrity, it's not luck, it's not happiness, and that's right. Now let's see how we have to adjust our "design" to get rid of that ominous shadow, to stay away from it.Maybe we have to add a little difficulty to you, not too big ups and downs and setbacks, even some necessary pains and tribulations, in order not to devalue your happiness, we will do this, of course, we will pay attention to proportion. Still take love as an example.We thought it would be possible to do this: at the beginning, let your future father-in-law and mother-in-law object to your relationship, they don’t think much of you, including your future brother-in-law, sister-in-law, wife of brother-in-law and boyfriend of sister-in-law, etc. People and horses look down on you.Father-in-law said that he would rather die in this case.The mother-in-law said that she would rather live less in this case.My brother-in-law was ordered to go to the leader of your unit and say that you have ruined a happy family.The sister-in-law persuaded her sister to think twice with tears, because the father has heart disease and the mother has high blood pressure.The father-in-law said that he would not die with peace in his eyes.The mother-in-law said that she would act as a ghost after death, and she will not spare you.You are a lucky person, you really read that girl right, she has a deep love for you, and she said that it would be better for her to die before them, but before she dies, she needs to ask a question: "May I ask what is wrong with him?" Is it bad?" Not only the girl's parents have nothing to say, but even we have nothing to answer. According to the existing design, you don't seem to have any problems at all. You are absolutely flawless. If those two old people are not lunatics or fools Not a psychopath, why would they object to you being their son-in-law?So you have to modify it a bit, you can no longer be a perfect person, you have to have at least one weakness, even a very important deficiency, a deficiency that most parents-in-law cannot accept.Then you, inspired by love, stimulated by the logical contempt for the domineering old man, made up your mind to break the boat and go through all the hardships, and finally succeeded, and finally you were brilliant. Finally, you shocked the old couple, moved them, regretted them, and convinced them. You confessed your son-in-law with tears in your eyes, and you were ecstatic, and suddenly you found that the sky is also extraordinarily blue, and the earth is also surprisingly round.It has to be like this.Probably so. What kind of deficiency?What kind of defect do you think is more suitable for you to design? fool?No, no, that won't work. Stupidity is likely to be a lifelong misfortune, and it is almost impossible to overcome it with hard work. This point should be firmly ruled out. ugly?No, ugliness is not okay, ugliness is also an irreversible situation, if it is not done well, it will bring disaster to future generations, no, it is definitely not possible. What about ignorance?Ok?No, it's worse than being stupid, and absolute (or considerable) ignorance is no different from idiocy; and relative ignorance is not a deficiency, it's all of us. You have to give in a little bit.For example, is it okay to be more dull and rigid?Lack of vitality, vigor, personality, curiosity, for example, okay?Oh, and you're still asking "Is that okay?" It couldn't be worse!Then you will find that you still lack courage, lack of sympathy, lack of feeling, you will never be excited when things happen, you can't make them admire the good, and you can't hate the ugly, you can neither move nor anger, you don't know how How can it be possible to cry without laughing well?are you still alivecan you still loveWill you still be happy for the pain of love?no. So can you be a little cunning?Cunning, alas, in fact, people are more or less cunning. Although this is not an advantage, it does not need to be counted as a disadvantage. A little cunning is inevitable for any species that wants to survive in this world.But one thing needs to be clarified: it is not acceptable to be cunning to scheme against others and not hesitate to harm others. I am afraid most of such people will not end well.Such a person will also not understand love (he may understand sex, but he does not understand love, he may easily obtain the pleasure of the genitals, but it is difficult for him to experience the intoxication of sex, because he does not rely on the creation of beauty but only Earning for beauty), besides, such people generally do not have any real talent and charm, otherwise there is no need to choose cunning.no.No matter from which angle you think about it, cunning is not acceptable. Or, a little sick?Oh God, please don't, please forgive me, help me no matter what, and I must never be sick again in my next life, absolutely not.We worked so hard to get this "good luck design" because you know what?Yes, you should know, so please don't mention illness again, don't mention a word. Just a little sick?Even minor ailments, fever, cold and diarrhea?No no, it's useless, a little ailment is no threat to anyone, and it doesn't end up doubling your happiness as we'd like it to, and it's for nothing.But it is by no means to say that if you are not sick, it is a serious illness, no no!By no means; you must understand that between any term of imprisonment (note: a term) and a serious illness, if you had to choose, you would choose the former, the former!Yes, there is no room for negotiation.If you have a serious illness, don't worry, listen to me, you have a serious illness that can increase the value of your happiness in the future, and the illness recovers later, how about it?Well, it's worth considering.You have been lying on the sick bed for several years, and you envy any healthy person when you see them. You think that you are any one of them and you are satisfied. Then your illness is cured and you are as good as ever.go on.You were already in despair, and you thought that even if you didn’t die, the future would be extremely bleak, and you thought it would be better to die than this, and at this moment your condition suddenly took a turn for the better.go on.In those days and nights of despair, you prayed and made a wish, you swore that as long as this disease can be cured, you will not feel any pain, no pain, no pain, you are unknown, you are poor, What does it matter?You will love life, love the world, love all the people in the world... Then, just then, a miracle happens, a miracle restores you to full health, and you are so energetic and walking like flying again.Is this good?Great, let's move on.You thought you could walk as long as you could, but now you can run at 9'91 again; you thought you could jump again, but now you can jump 2.45m again; you wanted to As long as you can live on your own, that’s enough, but now your scope of use is as big as the earth; you thought that as long as you can still be considered as a person and not scare anyone away, you will be thankful, but now the good girl who likes you is again. Countless numbers are overwhelming. Go on, don’t be vague, go on. Of course you don’t change your infatuation—this is not a mistake. After a catastrophe, people should not lose vigor and enthusiasm. You are calm but still Burning, you are stable but more powerful, you still love that girl unshakably, at this time your future father-in-law and mother-in-law will naturally no longer object to your union, not only do not object but also look at you It is their brilliance, their glory, their blessing in old age, and their comfort under the nine springs. How happy you are at this moment, you are with the person you love, running in the blue sky and wild, swimming in the blue waves and white waves, you What happiness it will be! Now move all the good luck that was designed for you before, now you can, move them all, and recover them after the catastrophe, and now you are truly a happy person. Come on, yes, this is the most critical way of good luck. 苦尽甜来，对，只要是苦尽甜来其实怎么都行，生生病呀，失失恋呀，要要饭呀，挨挨揍呀（别揍坏了），被抄抄家呀，坐坐冤狱呀, as long as it can be bitter and sweet, it is actually not a bad thing.I'm afraid that the bitterness will never end, and the sweetness will not come.In fact, there is no need to be very sweet, as long as the bitterness is enough.In fact, there is no need for sweetness, it will be very sweet after all the bitterness.Let us pray for this.Let's take this as a basic principle, write it into our "good luck design" anyway, arrange it on the front page anyway. The question is, so what if all the bitterness is sweet?What should we do after all the bitterness and sweetness come?Ouch, that shadow seems to be showing again.If you are not dead after the end of bitterness, how will you continue to live in the future?How should we continue to design good luck for you?It seems like the problem is still the same and we haven't been able to fix it.当然现在你可以不断地忆苦思甜，不断地知足常乐，我们也完全可以把你以后的生活设计得无比顺利，但这样下去我们是不是绕了一圈又回到那不祥的阴影中去了？你将再没有企盼了吗？再没有新的追求了吗？那么你的心路是不是又在荒芜，于是你的幸福感又要老化、萎缩、枯竭了呢？是的，肯定会是这样。幸福感不是能一次给够的，一次幸福感能维持多久这不好计算，但日子肯定比它长，比它长的日子却永远要依靠着它。所以你不能失去距离，不能没有新的企盼和追求，你一时失去了距离便一时没有了路途，一时没有了企盼和追求便一时失去了兴致和活力，那样我们势必要前功尽弃，那道阴影必不失时机地又用无聊、用乏味、用腻烦和麻木来纠缠你，来恶心你，同时葬送我们的“好运设计”。当然我们不会答应。所以我们仍要为你设计新的距离，设计不间断的企盼和追求。不过这样你就仍然要有痛苦，一直要有。是的是的，一时没有了痛苦的衬照便一时没有了幸福感。 真抱歉，我们没想到会是这样。我们一向都是好意，想使你幸福，想使你在来世频交好运，没想到竟还得不断地给你痛苦。那道讨厌的阴影真是把咱们整惨了。看看吧，看看是否还有办法摆脱它。真对不起，至少我先不吹牛了，要是您还有兴趣咱们就再试试看，反正事已至此，我想也不必草草率率地回心转意，看在来世的份上，就再试试吧。 看来，在此设计中不要痛苦是不大可能了。现在就只剩下了一条路：使痛苦尽量小些，小到什么程度并没有客观的尺度，总归小到你能不断地把它消灭就行了。就是说，你能够不断地克服困难，你能够不断地跨越距离，你能够不断地实现你的愿望，这就行了。痛苦可以让它不断地有，但你总是能把它消灭，这就行了，这样你就巧妙地利用了这些混帐玩意儿而不断地得到幸福感了。只要这样行了，接下来的事由我们负责。我们将根据以上要求为你设计必要的才能、必要的机运、必要的心理素质、意志品质，以及必要的资金、器械、设施、装备，乃至大夫护士、贤妻良母、孝子乖孙等等一系列优秀的后勤服务。总之，这些我们都能为你设计，只要一个人永远是个胜利者这件事是可能的，只要这样，我们的“好运设计”就算成了。只好也就这样了，这样也就算成了。 不过，这是不是可能的？你见没见过永远的胜利者？好吧，没见过并不说明这是不可能的，没见过的我们也可以设计。你，譬如说你就是一个永远的胜利者，那么最终你会碰见什么呢？die.对了，你就要碰见它，无论如何我们没法使你不碰见它，不感到它的存在，不意识到它的威胁。那么你对它有什么感想？你一生都在追求，一直都在胜利，一向都是幸福的，但当死亡来临的时候你想你终于追求到了什么呢？你的一切胜利到底都是为了什么呢？这时你不沮丧，不恐惧，不痛苦吗？你就像一个被上帝惯坏了的孩子，从来不知道什么叫失败，从来没遭遇过绝境，但死神终于驾到了，死神告诉你这一次你将和大家一样不能幸免，你的一切优势和特权（即那“好运设计”中所规定的）都已被废黜，你只可俯首贴耳听凭死神的处置。这时候你必定是一个最痛苦的人，你会比一生不幸的人更痛苦（他已经见到了的东西你却一直因为走运而没机会见到），命运在最后跟你算总帐了（它的帐目一向是收支平衡的），它以一个无可逃避的困境勾销你的一切胜利。它以一个不容质疑的判决报复你的一切好运，最终不仅没使你幸福反而给你一个你一直有幸不曾碰到的——绝望。绝望，当死亡到来之际这个绝望是如此地货真价实，你甚至没有机会考虑一下对付它的办法了。 what to do?你怎么办？what should we do?你说事情不会是这样，你的胜利依旧还是胜利，它会造福于后人；你的追求并没有白费，它将为后人铺平道路；而这就是你的幸福，所以你不会沮丧不会痛苦你至死都会为此而感到幸福。这太好了，一个真正的幸运者就应该有这样的胸怀有如此高尚的情操——让我们暂时忘记我们只是在为自己设计好运吧，或者让我们暂时相信所有的人都能够享受有同样的好运吧——一个幸运者只有这样才能最终保住自己的好运，才能使自己最终得享平安和幸福。但是——但是！就算我们没有发现您的不诚实，一个如您这般聪明高尚的人总该知道您正在把后人的路铺向哪儿吧？铺到哪儿才算成功了呢？铺到所有的人都幸福都没了痛苦的地方？那么他们不是又将面对无聊了吗？当他们迎候死亡时不是就不能再像您这样，以“为后人铺路”而自豪而高尚而心安理得了吗？如果终于不能使所有的人都幸福都没了痛苦，您的高尚不就成了一场骗局您的胜利又怎么能胜得过阿Q呢？我们处在了两难的境地。如果您再诚实点，事情可能会更难办：人类是要消亡的，地球是要毁灭的，宇宙在走向热寂。我们的一切聪明和才智、奋斗和努力、好运和成功到底有什么价值？what sense?我们在走向哪儿？我们再朝哪儿走？我们的目的何在？我们的欢乐何在？我们的幸福何在？我们的救赎之路何在？我们真的已经无路可走真的已入绝境了吗？ Yes.我们已入绝境。现在就是对此不感兴趣都不行了，你想糊弄都糊弄不过去了，你曾经不是傻瓜你如今再想是也晚了，傻瓜从一开始就不对我们这个设计感兴趣。而你上了贼船，这贼船已入绝境，你没处可退也没处可逃。This is the case.现在我们只占着一项便宜，那就是死神还没驾到，我们还有时间想想对付绝境的办法，当然不是逃跑，当然你也跑不了。其它的办法，看看，还有没有。 过程。对，过程，只剩了过程。对付绝境的办法只剩它了。不信你可以慢慢想一想，什么光荣呀，伟大呀，天才呀，壮烈呀，博学呀，这个呀那个呀，都不行，都不是绝境的对手，只要你最最关心的是目的而不是过程你无论怎样都得落人绝境，只要你仍然不从目的转向过程你就别想走出绝境。过程——只剩了它了。事实上你唯一具有的就是过程。一个只想（只想！）使过程精彩的人是无法被夺剥的，因为死神也无法将一个精彩的过程变成不精彩的过程，因为坏运也无法阻挡你去创造一个精彩的过程，相反你可以把死亡也变成一个精彩的过程，相反坏运更利于你去创造精彩的过程。于是绝境溃败了，它必然溃败。你立于目的的绝境却实现着、欣赏着、饱尝着过程的精彩，你便把绝境送上了绝境。梦想使你迷醉，距离就成了欢乐；追求使你充实，失败和成功都是伴奏；当生命以美的形式证明其价值的时候，幸福是享受，痛苦也是享受。现在你说你是一个幸福的人你想你会说得多么自信，现在你对一切神灵鬼怪说谢谢你们给我的好运，你看看谁还能说不。 过程！对，生命的意义就在于你能创造这过程的美好与精彩，生命的价值就在于你能够镇静而又激动地欣赏这过程的美丽与悲壮。但是，除非你看到了目的的虚无你才能够进入这审美的境地，除非你看到了目的的绝望你才能找到这审美的救助。但这虚无与绝望难道不会使你痛苦吗？是的，除非你为此痛苦，除非这痛苦足够大，大得不可消灭大得不可动摇，除非这样你才能甘心从目的转向过程，从对目的的焦虑转向对过程的关注，除非这样的痛苦与你同在，永远与你同在，你才能够永远欣赏到人类的步伐和舞姿，赞美着生命的呼喊与歌唱，从不屈获得骄傲，从苦难提取幸福，从虚无中创造意义，直到死神和天使一起来接你回去，你依然没有玩够，但你却不惊慌，你知道过程怎么能有个完呢？过程在到处继续，在人间、在天堂、在地狱，过程都是上帝的巧妙设计。 但是我们的设计呢？我们的设计是成功了呢还是失败了？如果为了使你幸福，我们不仅得给你小痛苦，还得给你大痛苦，不仅得给你一时的痛苦，还得给你永远的痛苦，我们到底帮了你什么忙呢？如果这就算好运，我，比如说我——我的名字叫史铁生，这个叫史铁生的人又有什么必要弄这么一份“好运设计”呢？也许我现在就是命运的宠儿？也许我的太多的遗憾正是很有分寸的遗憾？上帝让我终生截瘫就是为了让我从目的转向过程，所以有那么一天我终于要写一篇题为“好运设计”的散文，并且顺理成章地推出了我的好运？多谢多谢。可我不，可我不！我真是想来世别再有那么多遗憾，至少今生能作作好梦！ 我看出来了——我又走回来了，又走到本文的开头去了。我看出来了，如果我再从头开始设计我必然还是要得到这样一个结尾。我看出来了，我们的设计只能就这样了。我不知道怎么办了，不知道还能怎么办。上帝爱我！——我们的设计只剩这一句话了，也许从来就只有这一句话吧。 一九九０年