Chapter 55 9
In Harbin, far away from Beijing, another letter expressing true feelings just started.
At night when her daughter was asleep, Hao Mei began to write letters to Wang Xiaosong.
This letter made it difficult for her to write. She rubbed the beginning of it several times, but she rubbed it out. It was inappropriate to call her a classmate first, and then a comrade-in-arms.
Finally, she wrote down:
Tears wet the letter paper, Hao Mei stood up slowly, and walked out of the house. The courtyard was silent, and the neighbor's windows were all dark.Hao Mei leaned against her door and looked up at the night sky. Tears were still streaming down her face under the moonlight.There is a round and big moon in the sky... Hao Mei's thoughts are still in the letter, facing the silent night sky, she said to herself in her heart: "I am a woman, I am a mother, I have a daughter, I am thirty-one years old, I have no job, I can't communicate with anyone with words...Since all this is connected with my name Hao Mei, the most important thing I should think about is how can such a Hao Mei live better? People, never give up on this This is a wish! Hao Mei, you should never give up this wish! For yourself and for your daughter, you must open your heart to all the hardships that life throws at you in front of you. The more you imagine that you are God The most unfortunate woman in the world, the more likely you are to become an unfortunate woman. Aren’t you unwilling to become such a woman? How much your daughter Yunyun does not want to see her dear mother become such a woman! For her daughter For your own sake, Hao Mei, you should race against life! No matter how much stamina and patience it requires, you should have it and have the responsibility to have it..." At this time, Yunyun's cry came from the house: "Mom, mom, where are you, mom! Mom!" Hao Mei wiped away the tears on her face with her hands, and hurried back home. She rushed to the bed and hugged her daughter who had woken up from sleep tightly in her arms. Yunyun calmed down in her mother's arms, and said softly, "Mom, I had a dream about an old woman with white hair. She gave me a pill, and as soon as I took it, my legs stopped hurting. Not only did it not hurt, but I was able to jump and run, so fast! I ran home very fast, trying to make my mother happy, but then I fell down, and then I woke up. When I saw that you were not at home, I was a little scared in my heart. As soon as I was scared, I started to cry. Mom, don’t you blame me for being too timid?” Hao Mei shook her head. Yunyun said again: "Mom, can you not leave the house when I sleep from now on?" Hao Mei nodded. Yunyun said: "Actually, I'm not a timid girl, and I'm not afraid of other things... I'm afraid... Mom will leave me alone, don't want me..." Hao Mei asked her daughter with her expression—how could mother do it?How could you have such an idea. Yunyun understood her mother's expression, she said: "I have suffered from leg problems since I was a child, and I have become a burden to my mother. I always feel that Yunyun is sorry for my mother..." Hao Mei stared at her daughter, put her down gently, took the small "dialogue" book, and wrote a line for her to read: Yunyun is mother's sweetheart, and mother will always love Yunyun. Yunyun took the notebook and wrote a line for Hao Mei to read: Yunyun will always love her mother too. The mother and daughter cuddled tightly together. Yunyun fell asleep again in Hao Mei's arms. Hao Mei gently put her daughter on the bed, covered her with a quilt, undressed herself and went to bed, and fell asleep with her arms around her. Her heart said to herself again: "Yunyun, mother's good daughter, there is nothing more important to mother than you..."
The next morning, Hao Mei was pouring porridge into bowls and steamed buns from the steamer. Sitting at the square table, Yunyun opened the balls of paper that Hao Mei crumpled up while writing letters last night to read one by one. Hao Mei brought porridge, steamed buns, and a small dish of pickles on a tray, while Yunyun sat upright with her hands on the table, the paper balls were still paper balls, as if she hadn’t been touched at all. Hao Mei put a bowl of porridge and a few slices of steamed buns in front of her daughter, and ate them in a hurry. While eating, Yunyun watched her mother carefully. After the meal, Hao Mei hurriedly put the bowls and chopsticks on the tray, wiped the table, and went out with the tray. Yunyun took off the small conversation book from the wall, and put the pen tied with the small book on it. Hao Mei entered the room, brushed her hair in front of the mirror, put on her coat, walked up to her daughter, and wrote a line in the notebook: "Mom is going to class, come back at noon to have lunch with you." Then she carried her daughter to the bed. Yunyun said, "Mom, can you show me the photo album?" Hao Mei, who had already reached the door, turned her head, and Yunyun's eyes were full of pleading.Hao Mei hesitated for a moment, then turned around and walked to the bed, dragged out the wicker box from under the bed—the one she had brought to the countryside, opened it, and inside were neatly placed the crate she had worn in the Corps. Criticize the scarf that was dyed black, the bound fur book that Wang Xiaosong specially gave her late at night, a cotton soldier hat from the Corps, a pair of cotton gloves... She took out the photo album from the bottom and gave it to her daughter, kissed her on the cheek, and left.Yunyun opened the photo album, and there were Hao Mei in elementary school, Hao Mei in middle school, Hao Mei in the "Cultural Revolution", Hao Mei in the "Bingtuan" period, Hao Mei standing in front of the harvester, Hao Mei riding a horse, Hao Mei holding a samarium knife, Hao Mei holding a bundle of wheat in Mai Haizhong... A group photo with comrades in the Women's Corps, and a group photo with Wang Xiaosong, Wu Zhenqing, Tsui Hark, and Han Debao.On the same page, there is a single photo of Wang Xiaosong. Yunyun stared at it for a while, then revealed Wang Xiaosong's single photo...
Tears wet the letter paper, Hao Mei stood up slowly, and walked out of the house. The courtyard was silent, and the neighbor's windows were all dark.Hao Mei leaned against her door and looked up at the night sky. Tears were still streaming down her face under the moonlight.There is a round and big moon in the sky... Hao Mei's thoughts are still in the letter, facing the silent night sky, she said to herself in her heart: "I am a woman, I am a mother, I have a daughter, I am thirty-one years old, I have no job, I can't communicate with anyone with words...Since all this is connected with my name Hao Mei, the most important thing I should think about is how can such a Hao Mei live better? People, never give up on this This is a wish! Hao Mei, you should never give up this wish! For yourself and for your daughter, you must open your heart to all the hardships that life throws at you in front of you. The more you imagine that you are God The most unfortunate woman in the world, the more likely you are to become an unfortunate woman. Aren’t you unwilling to become such a woman? How much your daughter Yunyun does not want to see her dear mother become such a woman! For her daughter For your own sake, Hao Mei, you should race against life! No matter how much stamina and patience it requires, you should have it and have the responsibility to have it..." At this time, Yunyun's cry came from the house: "Mom, mom, where are you, mom! Mom!" Hao Mei wiped away the tears on her face with her hands, and hurried back home. She rushed to the bed and hugged her daughter who had woken up from sleep tightly in her arms. Yunyun calmed down in her mother's arms, and said softly, "Mom, I had a dream about an old woman with white hair. She gave me a pill, and as soon as I took it, my legs stopped hurting. Not only did it not hurt, but I was able to jump and run, so fast! I ran home very fast, trying to make my mother happy, but then I fell down, and then I woke up. When I saw that you were not at home, I was a little scared in my heart. As soon as I was scared, I started to cry. Mom, don’t you blame me for being too timid?” Hao Mei shook her head. Yunyun said again: "Mom, can you not leave the house when I sleep from now on?" Hao Mei nodded. Yunyun said: "Actually, I'm not a timid girl, and I'm not afraid of other things... I'm afraid... Mom will leave me alone, don't want me..." Hao Mei asked her daughter with her expression—how could mother do it?How could you have such an idea. Yunyun understood her mother's expression, she said: "I have suffered from leg problems since I was a child, and I have become a burden to my mother. I always feel that Yunyun is sorry for my mother..." Hao Mei stared at her daughter, put her down gently, took the small "dialogue" book, and wrote a line for her to read: Yunyun is mother's sweetheart, and mother will always love Yunyun. Yunyun took the notebook and wrote a line for Hao Mei to read: Yunyun will always love her mother too. The mother and daughter cuddled tightly together. Yunyun fell asleep again in Hao Mei's arms. Hao Mei gently put her daughter on the bed, covered her with a quilt, undressed herself and went to bed, and fell asleep with her arms around her. Her heart said to herself again: "Yunyun, mother's good daughter, there is nothing more important to mother than you..."
The next morning, Hao Mei was pouring porridge into bowls and steamed buns from the steamer. Sitting at the square table, Yunyun opened the balls of paper that Hao Mei crumpled up while writing letters last night to read one by one. Hao Mei brought porridge, steamed buns, and a small dish of pickles on a tray, while Yunyun sat upright with her hands on the table, the paper balls were still paper balls, as if she hadn’t been touched at all. Hao Mei put a bowl of porridge and a few slices of steamed buns in front of her daughter, and ate them in a hurry. While eating, Yunyun watched her mother carefully. After the meal, Hao Mei hurriedly put the bowls and chopsticks on the tray, wiped the table, and went out with the tray. Yunyun took off the small conversation book from the wall, and put the pen tied with the small book on it. Hao Mei entered the room, brushed her hair in front of the mirror, put on her coat, walked up to her daughter, and wrote a line in the notebook: "Mom is going to class, come back at noon to have lunch with you." Then she carried her daughter to the bed. Yunyun said, "Mom, can you show me the photo album?" Hao Mei, who had already reached the door, turned her head, and Yunyun's eyes were full of pleading.Hao Mei hesitated for a moment, then turned around and walked to the bed, dragged out the wicker box from under the bed—the one she had brought to the countryside, opened it, and inside were neatly placed the crate she had worn in the Corps. Criticize the scarf that was dyed black, the bound fur book that Wang Xiaosong specially gave her late at night, a cotton soldier hat from the Corps, a pair of cotton gloves... She took out the photo album from the bottom and gave it to her daughter, kissed her on the cheek, and left.Yunyun opened the photo album, and there were Hao Mei in elementary school, Hao Mei in middle school, Hao Mei in the "Cultural Revolution", Hao Mei in the "Bingtuan" period, Hao Mei standing in front of the harvester, Hao Mei riding a horse, Hao Mei holding a samarium knife, Hao Mei holding a bundle of wheat in Mai Haizhong... A group photo with comrades in the Women's Corps, and a group photo with Wang Xiaosong, Wu Zhenqing, Tsui Hark, and Han Debao.On the same page, there is a single photo of Wang Xiaosong. Yunyun stared at it for a while, then revealed Wang Xiaosong's single photo...