Chapter 12 How obstinate our hearts are - Chapter 9-2

That night I had a dream. In the dream, Ayan had already caught the real reason for my adultery with Xiaoyu, and she was holding a denunciation meeting in a righteous manner.I still want to deny it, Ah Yan said, don't deny it, it's useless to deny it.I let her drive me to nowhere, so I swear and swear, I swear that I will never do this again.Ah Yan was in deep pain, she gritted her teeth and said, why should I believe your words, well, you just swear, you just swear, and use whatever ability you have.I swore repeatedly as if I had caught a life-saving straw. I said I was wrong, and I would never do this again, and I really would never do this again.At that time, Yu Yuqiang and Xiaoyu were all around, Xiaopeng was also there, and some other people I didn't know were watching the joke.I suddenly have in my hand

With a sharp kitchen knife, I continued to confess my love to Ah Yan, put my hand on the cutting board, and said to Ah Yan, "Ah Yan, I swear, I really swear.I raised the kitchen knife high and chopped off one of my fingers. When Xiaopeng took the junior high school entrance examination, he still missed by two points.For these two points, he had to pay 30,000 yuan.I said that this child is really a money-consuming seed for studying. He has to pay for elementary school, and now he has to pay for middle school. In the future, there will be high school and college.Ah Yan and Xiao Yu didn't speak, they all thought that I was the head of the family, and whether to pay or not, of course they had to listen to my opinion first.I know Ah Yan's thoughts, I know that she has already made up her mind to pay the money, so she should just be a good person to fulfill her, and express her position firmly.

I said: "Pay, of course you have to pay. For Xiaopeng's future, this money should be spent." I don't want to disappoint Ah Yan, for Xiaopeng's grandson, she won't care about the last penny, although earning money is not easy, I don't want to be a miser at this time, I don't want to make Ah Yan feel unhappy at this time .I don't take it seriously, others can pay the money, why can't we, even if we borrow money, we have to pay.To be honest, we all feel sorry for the 30,000 yuan.After all, the 30,000 yuan is our hard-earned money, after all, our pension fund. After paying this money, Ah Yan began to worry more about our future.

I comforted Ah Yan, saying that there is nothing to worry about, money is earned by people, and now I am most worried about her body, as long as her cancer does not metastasize, I am not afraid of the sky falling.I comforted her, saying that we were not rich people in the past, we were poor in the past, and we got here lovingly and lovingly. As long as we are free from illness and disaster, no difficulties can frighten us.We could live without money in the past, why can’t we live without money now.I told Ah Yan that feng shui turns around, 30 years in Hedong, 40 years in Hexi, maybe my fourth child's luck will come back one day, and the times will turn around again, and I will be able to make money as before.

Not long after this, I went to Hong Kong to do odd jobs for three months.I'm ashamed to say it, although I'm always unconvinced with Feng Rui, but without him, I really have nothing to do.An acquaintance of Feng Rui's opened a hotel in Hong Kong, and he issued a tourist passport for me, so I worked there for three full months and earned a little Hong Kong dollars.I never imagined that when I was getting closer to the age of sixty, I would start to live a life away from home.After returning from Hong Kong, I seemed to have opened my eyes, and suddenly realized that I must hurry up, earn more money, and see more of the world.I hope Feng Rui can find a job with a slightly higher salary for me, Feng Rui said, fourth child, don't be greedy, you won't get a higher salary than me anywhere.

What Feng Rui said was the truth, but I didn't give up. I know that in my life, it is very unlikely that I will have the chance to turn over.My good days are long over, like the monthly bus pass has expired.I told Feng Rui that it doesn't matter whether the salary is high or not, since I'm already old, let me go out to see and see, let me have a good look at the outside world. I didn't tell Feng Rui what I really thought.I will not tell anyone that the real reason why I wander outside is to avoid the temptation of small fish.Although I seem to have enough confidence in myself, I still worry that I can't help but make mistakes again.I was afraid that I would go to the wrong room again, and go to the wrong bed again. The fourth child has already reined in the precipice, and I must not take such a risk again.God has already warned me, I believe that if Xiaoyu and I have any further affair, and if we can't restrain ourselves, Ah Yan will definitely die immediately.Ah Yan's life is in my hands now, I must use my sincerity to move God.I suddenly realized that God was testing my determination.The old man knows that the biggest punishment for me is to torture me by hurting Ah Yan.He knows that Ah Yan is what I care most about.He knows that I don't care about me, I don't love me, but I care about Ah Yan, I love Ah Yan, and I don't want to part with Ah Yan.Even if God is joking, it is still serious and full of good intentions.God has left me one last chance, and I must cherish this chance.

Through Feng Rui's introduction, I made a big circle outside.It doesn't take long to work anywhere.In the end, he landed in a wealthy county-level city in southern Jiangsu.My boss, Zhu Ji, was a young boy of Feng Rui's back then.In Zhu Ji's eyes, the famous Feng Rui has also begun to decline. Although he is indeed good at management, he is already old.Zhu Ji said disdainfully that Feng Rui is only the best of our third generation. Compared with the younger generation, he has already fallen behind, and he will be eliminated sooner or later. I don't really believe Zhu Ji's words. These days, anyone who is a businessman knows how to brag and dares to brag.To be honest, I don't believe there is anyone who can make more money than Feng Rui.Besides, whether the boss can make money, and how much money he can make, has nothing to do with me.Now, the fourth child is just an old man who works part-time, leaving his hometown and living alone, alone.Now, I just hope that I can earn more money, that Ayan recovers, and that Xiaopeng does well in his studies.People, I can only go where I want to talk about, I don’t care about my age, and I live in a dormitory with young guys. What’s wrong with living in a dormitory? Living in a dormitory can make people enjoy an unusual kind of peace .I know that I am really old now. When I was a cook in Hong Kong, my boss was not yet 30 years old, and the current boss Zhu Ji is just in his early 30s. Thinking of these things, I really have to accept the old, I can’t accept the old, I’m dreaming He would never have imagined that the fourth child would work for young people who were nearly half his age when he lived to this age, and would even beg for food at the hands of these young people.

This society is already dominated by young people. No wonder even Feng Rui, who is proud and arrogant, sighed once. He sighed and said to me: "Fourth, damn it, we are really grandpas." Our place is an entertainment city, this is really a place for fun, the whole high-rise building is like a vertical street, and there are all kinds of things.Don't underestimate that this place is just a county-level city. What is available in the metropolis is here, and what is not in the metropolis is also available here.Many of the customers who came to consume came from long distances, driving luxury cars, and they were all dignified people.It is said that eating, drinking, whoring and gambling here have long been famous, even reported on foreign radio stations.

I was assigned to work in the "Tiantangxuan Palace", which is a high-end restaurant that can be rotated.Guests who dine here can sit there and enjoy the scenery of the whole city slowly.To be honest, I don't understand why the name "Heaven" is insisted on. The advertisements in the newspapers and on TV just talk about meeting in heaven.It's obviously a bit unlucky, but I can't control that much, after all, we are just part-time workers, and the boss is not taboo, so we have no right to make irresponsible remarks.The boss likes it, and the part-time workers have to like it if they don't like it.Migrant workers are all serving the boss, they are all the screws on the money-making machine. Working in this kind of place, you can't take yourself too seriously.

Although there are countless ladies in the entertainment city, and there are many beautiful women, but the part-time workers understand that these have nothing to do with their daily life.We may not be able to get the moon if we are close to the water. We work in heaven all day long, and it seems that the lights are feasting every day, but the real heaven always belongs to the rich.The young men here can only be greedy, and there is no grass to eat, so they often go out to watch striptease performances. It is the kind of striptease dance performed by grass-stage classes, which specializes in the business of migrant workers.Those who are bold, go to the girls in the shampoo room, and then come back one by one and tell me about their adventures.Young people like to show off when they do something out of the ordinary, and they want to let the whole world know.

I listened to them calmly, and occasionally enlightened them with a word or two.I mean young people, it's not a big deal if it's rare to mess around, but don't get any STDs, it's not fun to have STDs. They laughed and said that fourth master was afraid of getting STDs. I sighed and said, I am different from you. My money should be reserved for my wife’s medical treatment and my grandson’s education.When you reach my age, you will naturally understand the truth. They all thought that my life was unrestrained and meaningless.They said, fourth master, you have slept with one woman all your life, how monotonous and boring it is.In fact, women are different from women, and feel completely different.The world of women is definitely rich and colorful. The difference between women and women is sometimes like the difference between tigers and lions. I said that in the eyes of sheep, tigers and lions are almost the same thing.I said, a woman is a woman, what difference can it make. They said, fourth master, you are too conservative, just like our parents, the older generation is like this. I said, do you also talk to your parents like this, have you asked your parents like this? The boys said, there is no need to ask, our parents are just like your old man, guarding one person tightly, it is really a waste of life. What's wrong with guarding someone tightly, young people certainly don't understand these principles.Tiantangxuan Palace is located at the highest point of the city. Standing high and looking far away, it will give you an illusion and make you forget yourself, as if you are really high above.From time to time, I can hear some fashionable new terms from the mouths of young people, such as ecstasy, disco, AV star, crush girl, and sauna girl.Through their introduction, I also began to know the preferences of some Hong Kong and Taiwan clients, and the weirdness of some Korean and Japanese clients.The boys also began to respect me gradually, not because I was the group leader and their little leader, but because they discovered that I was good at telling stories.when nothing happens At that time, I very calmly told them about my experiences over the years.Young people didn't believe that I had experienced such a thing at first, and I didn't believe it myself. I told you that this is nonsense. If you find it interesting, let me finish the story. In addition to talking about my past, I also teach young people how to do Taijiquan. Although they are almost 60 years old, none of them are my opponents. Even if two or three people rush at me at the same time, they will not take advantage .I told them that everyone has their youth, and everyone has their youth.At this moment, they are young and youthful, and the good days have just begun, they don't care about anything, they don't feel anything, but one day soon, they will find that the good days are over. Ah Yan is currently selling newspapers at a newsstand in front of her house. She bought a mobile phone and keeps sending me short messages when she has nothing to do.I also have a mobile phone, which was a gift from boss Zhu Ji on a whim during the holidays. It was an outdated Motorola.I don’t know how to send short messages, and typing is very slow, so I asked those boys to reply for me, and Ah Yan and I talked, that is to say, something about missing each other, or talking about grandson, talking about children endlessly Peng's learning situation.Sometimes Xiaopeng would rush to send short messages for Ah Yan. Xiaopeng said that he was very good at Chinese Pinyin and could type very fast.This little guy is very good at flattering, saying that Grandpa, you are making money for us outside alone, so you must take care of your health.To be honest, not only Ah Yan likes Xiaopeng, but I also can't let this child go in my heart, I really regard him as my grandson.I think if we can train this child to go to college, then he can die in peace. I said to these young people, no matter what, I'm going to send my grandson to college. The young people said that there is nothing special about going to college. In today's society, as long as you have money, you can do it. I said it’s not uncommon to go to college. Why aren’t you college students?You can't go to college, so you can only be wage earners, you are only worthy of being wage earners, and you can only serve the rich here.Whether you go to college or not is different after all. If you don't work hard, you will be working part-time for the rest of your life.Now I finally understand Ah Yan's painstaking efforts in cultivating Xiaopeng. After ten years of hard work, she has become a master. Since we have claimed this grandson, we have the obligation to cultivate him into a talent.I don't hope that Xiaopeng will be like these young people in front of me in the future, as worthless as they are, and wasting his life like them.Although these young people are young, their future has come to an end, they have no future, they have no future.They are just like us when we were educated youths, not even as good as we were when we were educated youths. The lads have nothing to do together except talk endlessly, have no sense of shame, and have no taboos at all.They only know to go to the toilet to peek at the girl opposite to take a bath, while peeking, while masturbating, so that the urinal wall is full of that thing, the nose is not like snot, not like phlegm.In order to see more clearly, they even bought a Russian military binoculars in partnership, peeping openly without any scruples.The girls in the opposite building didn't care if someone peeked at them. It was said that they were all escorts, and one was more coquettish than the other, and the other was bolder than the other. One night, these young people insisted on calling me to go and open my eyes. I said I didn't want to watch it, what's so interesting about it.But in the end I couldn't help the deadlift, so I went anyway, they gave me the binoculars, and left me alone to enjoy it slowly.They say this is the best enjoyment in life, take a good look, and you don't need to spend a penny.The smell in the toilet was so high that the young man walked away.I adjusted the focus for a long time before I aimed at the bathroom opposite. Because the two buildings were too close to each other and the distance was too close, the focus was not easy to adjust.It was a very simple bathroom, to put it bluntly, it was a women's toilet and lavatory.After finally seeing a little bit of fame, the girl hastily finished, put on her clothes and left.After waiting for a while, another girl finally came, white and fat, with a short stature, she took off her clothes, and stood there washing clothes naked, turning her head and looking this way from time to time, as if she knew that someone was staring at her. she.I couldn't help feeling a little guilty, knowing that I was standing in the depths of the darkness, and it was absolutely impossible for her to see it.She looked at it completely unconsciously, as the boys said, these girls didn't care if anyone peeked at them, they were happy if someone peeked at them. Going up to Tiantangxuan Palace, it is a huge open-air platform.This is a good place for me to practice Tai Chi every day, and almost no one is willing to come here.There is a pigeon house at the west end of the terrace, where more than 100 pigeons are kept.Not far from the pigeon house, there is a small house like a water tank. It was originally designed as a spare water tank, but was later abandoned and used to store sundries.Later, it was remodeled, a simple small door was installed, a small bed was placed, and it became a place for couples to meet. The young man gave this little house a romantic name, "Love Cabin".For married wage earners, it is really a good thing that their wives come to visit and have a small room that does not cost money.This place is actually only to be enjoyed by those who work in Paradise Palace, because only we can get out onto the deck.For a while, the love hut was forcibly occupied by a young girl from Hunan. The girl was a prostitute. Inside refused to go.After struggling tenaciously for more than a month, Xiao Wang was still determined and refused to marry her. The girl was completely hopeless, so one morning, when the sun was just rising, she jumped naked from the platform under Xiao Wang's eyes. down. This tragedy happened in the first month when I came to work. At that time, the whole city was a sensation, and the streets and alleys were talking about it.I've seen that Hunan girl, a very beautiful girl, white and clean, with very bright eyes.Since this incident, the love hut has been locked. From now on, only legal couples can get the key from the department manager.By the time Ayan and I got the key to the hut of love, it was already a year after working in Heavenly Xuan Palace.Since most of the young people working here are unmarried, the hut has been closed for a long time, leaving a thick layer of dust, and a piece of glass in the ventilation window was also broken. In exchange, Ah Yan and I would be exhausted for half our lives.When we go to bed at night, our backs are sore, we can’t do anything, and we don’t want to do anything. That night we hugged and slept together, snoring loudly, and slept until dawn.Early the next morning, I got up to do Taijiquan. A Yan was watching from the side in her padded jacket, holding a cup of boiling water in her hand, watching and drinking.Gradually, hundreds of pigeons also woke up from their sleep, grunted and ran out of the pigeon house one after another, flying around us. After punching, I led Ah Yan around on the roof, introduced the surrounding situation to her, pointed to a few buildings not far away, and told her that the one with a simple house on the top of the fourth floor was ours. Where I usually live.I told Ah Yan that the place used to be the office building of the Materials Bureau. Later, the Materials Bureau moved out and rented it out to many companies. The fourth floor became the finished product warehouse of a toy factory. This toy is for export trade. , It is said that the benefits are very good.We lived above this warehouse, more than 40 people were crowded into one big room, it was as cold as a refrigerator in winter and as hot as a stove in summer. Now, because Ayan and I are condescending, the simple house we usually live in looks very small from the top down, which is obviously very shabby. Ayan can't believe that so many people can live in it.She shook her head, mockingly said: "It's good for you. I'm here and I live on the roof of this building. When I'm gone, you sleep on the roof of that building again. No matter how high you are, you always live on the roof." I said: "The roof is good, stand high, can you see far?" Ah Yan couldn't help feeling a little sad again, and sighed deeply: "Oh, what are you doing looking so far away?" Now that Ah Yan is here, I took a day off to accompany her around the city.This is really a thriving new city, full of vitality and construction sites everywhere.Ah Yan's mother was born here. Ah Yan and I also came to this city in the second year of our marriage. At that time, it was a dilapidated and small county with only a bad street. Unexpectedly, it has completely changed now. Compared with the provincial capital Nanjing, its appearance, prosperity and messiness are not much inferior.At dusk, we hired a tricycle and went around wherever we wanted.The tricycles here are very cheap, and you can go wherever you want for five yuan.I first took Ah Yan to see my usual residence, let her visit the simple house where more than forty people lived, and then went back to the place where I worked for dinner. Arriving at the bottom of the Entertainment City building, I took Ayan into the sex shop downstairs on a whim. This shop is located in the most conspicuous location, and you can see the products on display in the window when you go in and out.I suddenly decided to open Ah Yan's horizons, because when I was free, I followed the young people who worked together and visited this specialty store more than once.I know that there are many interesting things to see here, and this kind of place, if you come to this place too much, you will feel calm. If you come to this kind of place too much, it will be no different from other shopping malls.I like to see young people mischievous here, to see them walking around majestically, admiring one by one, lying on the counter to study the manual, laughing and telling jokes.Nobody really buys sex , the things here are so expensive that it makes people's eyes straight, and almost all of them are imported foreign gadgets. Everyone comes here to hang out just to watch the fun. Young people like to make trouble. In order to embarrass the sales lady, they deliberately ask endlessly.I told Ah Yan that in this kind of place, whoever has thick skin has the upper hand.If you're sneaky and sneaky, the salesgirls will embarrass you.You have to fight with open fire, be righteous, and don't panic at all, and it will be these beautiful sales girls who will be embarrassed in the end.Wherever you are, you should remember the famous saying that the customer is God.Things are put in the store for people to see, and seeing is the basic right of people, so you don't need to feel embarrassed at all.After leaving the sex shop, in the elevator, I told Ah-yeon a joke.Once, a young man surnamed Li was deliberately haunted. He asked for two things in a serious manner, one was a power tool for men and the other was a power tool for women. Trying to put electric things together, the sales lady was so angry that her face changed color, and the sales lady was so anxious that she called 110 to call the police. That night, even though we had been outside for a whole day, although the fatigue from the previous day had not completely disappeared, and although we had talked so much, we still went to bed early after dinner.In the middle of the night, we were awakened by blaring sirens.The voice is so sad and sharp, one can tell that it is nearby, and one can tell that it is not far from us.Opening the door and looking out, I saw the flames outside, and there was a burnt smell in the air.The place where the accident happened was the building where I usually lived. The simple house where more than 40 people lived was completely submerged in the flames.The fire started from the warehouse on the fourth floor. The warehouse is full of flammable dolls. The hidden danger of the accident has long been buried there. If there is a fire, the consequences will be disastrous. Ayan and I were taken aback. We were barely wearing any clothes at the time, and the wind was very strong on the roof, so we hurried back and put on our underwear indiscriminately. Ayan put on a cotton jacket, and I wrapped myself in a thick quilt. On the open-air platform of Tiantangxuan Palace, while trembling, he watched the fire below.Because this happened right under my nose, I couldn't believe that everything I saw was true.We heard the explosions of flames and the screams of pain and despair of the victims. The fire showed no sign of weakening, and the flames continued to rush forward.Fire trucks came one after another, because the street was too narrow, the fire trucks couldn't go in, so they had to pull the siren to go around in circles.The fire was obviously very serious, and it was getting worse and worse. The passage downstairs had already been blocked, and the situation was completely out of control. People in the simple house on the roof had nowhere to escape. Everyone around woke up, and everyone watched the fire from the other side, and watched the sudden disaster dumbfounded from their windows and the roof of the building.In the face of such a terrible disaster, no one else can help.The people caught in the sea of ​​flames obviously began to despair. They fled in a panic in a very small space, screaming desperately, and jumped down from the roof one after another.Ah Yan and I were completely terrified by the tragedy in front of us, and couldn't believe what was happening right under our noses.At this time, we had to face this tragic scene with a heavy heart, terrified and silent.Suddenly I hugged Ah Yan in my arms, and I hugged Ah Yan tightly, and she also nestled in my arms like a little girl, weeping with grief.I found that I was also crying quietly, and my heart was stabbing.Although I can't tell who the swaying figures in the sea of ​​fire are, and I can't hear what they are shouting, but I know that these are colleagues I have been with day and night. I know everyone among them, and I am almost one of them. . Thirty-one people were killed in the fire, and five people were seriously injured.When such a major event happened, people from the province and Beijing came, and CCTV made a special report.After a reporter interviewed me, he wrote a report with the headline "Old Wife Visits Relatives Suddenly, Migrant Worker Survives Death in Fire", which was published in many domestic newspapers at the same time. In the report, the reporter used sensational The tone wrote: This is a very loving old couple. The husband had to leave his hometown and go out to work in order to treat his wife who was suffering from cancer and pay huge tuition fees for his grandson who was in school.Missing her husband, the wife suddenly decided to visit her husband on a whim.Unexpectedly, it was this unexpected family visit that miraculously saved her husband's life.Love finally created a miracle, love actually defeated death. I didn't leave here because of the fire.Tiantangxuan Palace had to be renamed to a more auspicious and pleasant-sounding name, and a boss surnamed Chang took over.I still do my old job, and get my old pay.The boss surnamed Chang also knew Feng Rui, and he swore he would take good care of me, saying that lucky people have their own fortune, that if they survive a catastrophe, they will have great blessings, and that your fourth master should stay no matter what, you should stay here Give us some good cheer. Ah Yan and I are still living apart, because of the separation, I always miss her deeply, thinking about what she is doing all the time.With this endless thoughts and associations, I feel very real.Yu Yuqiang has been released from prison, and lives with Xiaoyu in a new house in the suburbs.Ah Yan and Xiaopeng live together, and they are very strict about Xiaopeng's homework. The doctor said that her body is recovering well, and if she continues to recover, the possibility of cancer recurrence is very small.We now rely on sending short messages for emotional contact every day. We are sweet and affectionate, and we talk about the same things, sometimes even more nasty than young people.Everything in the past has become a fond memory, and Ah Yan and I seem to have returned to the past, back to the time when the relationship was first finalized, and even returned to the old tugboat when we first went to the countryside.Our boat was driving on the ancient canal, with blue sky, white clouds and black smoke, sirens blared, and machines beeping.That will always be the most beautiful scene in my memory. It was on this day that I suddenly fell in love with Ah Yan with all my heart.It is from this day that my life begins, and from this day on, living has a new meaning.The ship of life is sailing to the future, the scenery on both sides of the bank is picturesque, and the spring breeze is blowing against my face. Ayan is flying on the canal like a beautiful swan, soaring in the blue sky, suddenly plunges down, flies into my heart, and stays there forever ,forever. From January 8, 2003 to April 12, the draft was finalized on July 18, 2003 in Hexi