Chapter 8 How Obstinate Our Hearts Are - Chapter 7

How Obstinate Our Hearts Are - Chapter 7 After Xiaoyu and Yu Yuqiang got married, they lived in the old house I rented.They occupied the place where I used to have fun, occupied my humble harem, and lived a small life lovingly.Since both parents of the young couple are from the countryside, it is impossible for them to come and take care of them, so Ah Yan played the role of the master in a serious manner.Ah Yan's godmother is really impeccable, even her own mother is not as good as her, even her own mother is not as considerate as her.All her life, she naturally liked to take care of others, and always got pleasure from taking care of others.Ah Yan is simply a living Lei Feng, as if she was born to take care of others, as if her greatest pleasure is to help others.

Soon, Xiaoyu's belly stood up like a hill, and Ayan took the young couple to live with us.In those days, at dusk, Ayan took Xiaoyu out for a walk. People who didn't know them thought they were a mother and daughter.It was raining, Ah Yan forced Xiaoyu to go around in circles in the room, doing everything according to scientific methods.Ah Yan has more than one parenting manual in hand, she flips through those pamphlets all day long, and those pamphlets have become her motto, and she follows them in every move.Before the child was born, he already knew it was a boy, because he went to the hospital for a B-ultrasound.When she came back and talked about seeing the boy's penis on the screen, Ah Yan was overjoyed, giggling non-stop while talking.

I said, "What's so funny, isn't it just a small pistol?" All this seemed to be arranged deliberately by God, as if she was destined to have this grandson.She unfortunately lost the opportunity to be a mother back then, but now she can't wait to become a grandma.Ah Yan named the child Yu Peng. Peng is a kind of big bird. Ah Yan hoped that this child would have a bright future, like a Kunpeng spreading its wings, flying high and far.After Xiaopeng was born, Ayan's thoughts were almost entirely devoted to this child.Because of this, the relationship between her and Xiaoyu was very harmonious. Until Xiaopeng was weaned, the two of them were so good that it was unbelievable.The child became the best glue in their relationship. In the beginning, the two adults surrounded the child all day long. Because Xiaopeng wanted to breastfeed, he couldn't do without Xiaoyu, and Xiaoyu didn't know how to take care of children at all, so A Yan After busying herself as a grandma, Xiaopeng fully tasted the taste of being a mother and fully enjoyed the troubles and anxiety of being a mother.

At that time, Ah Yan went everywhere to ask those women who had experience in mothering for advice, one after another, she went home to buy parenting manuals and books on educating children.As soon as Xiaopeng has such a small problem, Ah Yan immediately fidgets and fidgets, terribly anxious, as anxious as an ant on a hot pot, as anxious as if the sky is about to collapse.For a while, Xiaoyu was in poor health and caught a bad cold. He was afraid of infecting the children. Xiaopeng slept with Ah Yan every night.In the middle of the night, Xiaopeng woke up, crying to nurse, so Ayan carried him to Xiaoyu to nurse him.She forced Xiaoyu to wear a mask to breastfeed, and when he was full, he would carry him back to sleep. This happened for many nights in a row. In the end, the temporary became a long time. Yan sleeps.

After Xiaopeng was weaned, the child simply slept with Ah Yan.The little guy has a bad habit. Sometimes, he is not hungry, but he has to habitually bite his nipple to sleep soundly, so Ah Yan let him hold his nipple.This child has many bad habits, all of which are spoiled by Ah Yan.It's kind of funny to say that we have this kind of relationship, we just formed a strange family.To be honest, we are really good to their young couple. We suddenly became an old couple. This feeling has never been felt before. We suddenly became elders and real grandparents.Although this requires a process of adaptation, you will gradually get used to it, and the habit will become natural.Since Ah Yan is very willing, since Ah Yan feels very happy, I think there is nothing wrong with this. In the past, she always wanted to adopt a child, because I firmly disagreed, and it did not become a reality. Now this is equivalent to adopting a child, but adopting It is not a son, but a grandson.For me, sons and grandchildren don't matter, what I'm happy about is that having a grandson like Xiaopeng, the biggest advantage is that Ayan no longer plays mahjong, and she actually takes care of this precious grandson wholeheartedly.

After Xiaopeng grew up a little, Yu Yuqiang and Xiaoyu still moved back to their own residence, and they went to work during the day, so the child was sent over to be taken care of by Ayan.Picking up and dropping off is naturally Yu Yuqiang's business. He rides a bicycle every day, rain or shine, and will send it over when the time comes, and pick it up when the time comes.Soon, Xiaopeng began to learn to speak, grandparents barked, Ah Yan was very proud, teasing the children like playing with a parrot all day long.According to Ayan's intention, Xiaopeng can be placed on our side completely, and she will take care of her day and night, but I firmly disagree, because if this is the case, Ayan will be working too hard.And Xiaoyu is not too willing, she thinks her son Xiaopeng is too affectionate with grandma, so affectionate that she often doesn't want to be with her as a mother, which makes her a little jealous.

In the blink of an eye, it entered the 1990s, and Xiaopeng was growing up day by day.At that time, my business was once again in the predicament of not being able to survive.Although I try my best to keep up with the trend of the times, when I have to, I also cook hot pot, seafood, and even sell a bowl of noodles for a few yuan, but no matter how hard I try, it will not help.The popular Kitchen King Cuisine has completely lost its previous appeal. My business has come to an end. There are fewer and fewer people working in the store. Also go elsewhere to make money.The end of the tree to the hozen scatter is inevitable, I feel exhausted and don't know what to do.

In the end, it looked like the business would fail.Since there is no business to do, since the door is empty, it is better to close the door early every day.When I got home, I had nothing to do, so I rented a videotape and watched it.I have bought a video camera for several years. I used to have no time to watch it. Now I have no business anyway, so I just watch Hong Kong martial arts movies one after another.Yu Yuqiang and Xiaoyu also like to watch it. They came to pick up Xiaopeng at night, and then they watched it with us. When they saw it, they didn’t have time, and they saw eleven or twelve o’clock.By that time, Xiaopeng had already fallen asleep, and Ah Yan felt sorry for him and couldn't bear to wake him up, so she let Xiaopeng stay.Sometimes, when it was too late, Yu Yuqiang and Xiaoyu simply stayed and stayed in the small room next door.

We live like a family, not to mention Ah Yan feels like a grandma, gradually, I also feel like a grandpa.When people are in a certain environment, their mentality will naturally change.If there is a child who yells "Grandpa, Grandpa" in your ear all day long, you will find that you are indeed old.The child's cry is the best reminder. I suddenly found that in two or three years, I will be fifty years old.In my impression, my 40th birthday seems to have been a few years ago, but now I am quietly approaching my 50th birthday.Forty is not confused, fifty knows destiny, fifty is definitely an old man's concept.Although I don't have that kind of aging feeling at all, and although I still feel eager to move in the depths of my heart, when I leaned down, imitated the tone of a child, and coaxed Xiaopeng softly, I suddenly realized my age question.I realized that the fourth child is no longer young, and that the fourth child is really a grandfather now.

I often rent video tapes, and the owner of the video store is very familiar with me. One day, the boss quietly asked me if I would like to watch some real stuff. The boss said: "To tell you the truth, the goods just arrived, I think you are an acquaintance, so I believe you, if you change someone else, I wouldn't dare to borrow my courage. Recently, the police have been investigating very hard." Seeing the mysterious and unpredictable expression of the boss, and seeing his self-consciousness, you immediately know what's going on, and you immediately understand what kind of deal he wants to make with you.

I purposely said very old-fashionedly: "It's really a good thing, of course you can take a look." At that time, I had heard that there was such a thing circulating outside, but I had never really seen it. Since I took the initiative to deliver it to my door today, of course I would not let this opportunity pass.After dinner, we first watched a set of Hong Kong martial arts movies. After watching, Xiaopeng had already fallen asleep, so I asked everyone if they would like to open their eyes to see the real things recommended by the boss.Ah Yan said, don't make any bad things to scare people.I smiled and said, if there is anything good or not, we will talk about it after reading it.With that said, he went over and closed the curtains, and put the video tape into the machine.It was the first time for us to watch this thing. After the first set of shots appeared, Ah Yan screamed in fright, and repeatedly said that it was disgusting, why is it so disgusting.Ah Yan's reaction was very intense, and we were all a little shocked, not to mention that she didn't expect to be so crazy, even my fourth child didn't expect it, and none of us thought of it.Ah Yan was still sighing, saying how could a real person be acting, dying, dying, it was really doing it.She looked at it for a few minutes in a state of dismay, then, saying she could bear it no longer, fled into the room. The remaining three people continued to watch, and they didn't speak. It was the first time that they had opened their eyes like this, and it felt a little strange.I felt saliva pouring up continuously, and when I had to swallow so much, I heard a loud smacking sound.At that time, the sound of swallowing saliva was really embarrassing.After a while, Ah Yan came out to get a hot water bottle and stood in front of us with a red plastic hot water bottle. She glanced at the TV screen and said that she was really going to die. s things.These words seemed to remind Xiaoyu, she immediately stood up shyly, without speaking, and went into the room with Ah Yan.Both women left, leaving me and Yu Yuqiang. Now that the two men are watching together, I feel a lot easier.We started swearing, joking and laughing, and insisted on watching all the videotapes.After reading it, the young couple wanted to go back to their little home, Xiaoyu insisted on taking their son along, Xiaopeng was forced to wake up from his sleep, crying and yelling and refusing to leave. Ah Yan then said: "If you don't want to leave, let him sleep here, why do you have to take him away?" Xiaoyu kept scolding his son, and Xiaopeng kept crying. As a result, Xiaopeng stayed again.This happens quite often, and this is how it ends almost every time.As long as Xiaopeng cries and fusses, Ah Yan feels distressed.She said that if you want to take Xiaopeng home in the future, you should leave early. He sleeps so soundly. If you force him to wake him up, of course he will make trouble with you. How can he not make trouble with you. Yu Yuqiang and Xiaoyu walked away in despair, Xiaopeng continued to sleep soundly, so Ayan and I watched the video again.Ah Yan refused to watch it at first, saying that you men are the most shameless, and you just like to watch such obscene things.She said that if you watch it alone, I won't watch it with you. You can watch it slowly by yourself, appreciate it slowly by yourself, and study it carefully.Being teased by her like this, it was like being greeted with a basin of cold water, and I immediately felt bored and annoyed.Ah Yan saw that I was really about to give up, and saw that I was really not in the mood to watch it again, but she began to give in, saying that you wanted to watch it, so she moved the TV and video camera into the room to watch, she said she was tired and lay down It will be more comfortable to watch. From then on, Yu Yuqiang would borrow the camera from Ah Yan at every turn.He has always asked his godmother straightforwardly for any request, and it has paid off almost every time.Ah Yan is responsive to her godson, he will agree to whatever he wants, and he can do whatever he wants.In fact, we all know why Yu Yuqiang borrowed the camera. Xiaoyu was very annoyed by his actions, because it was fine to borrow the camera home and take a look at it secretly, but he also likes to show off, and he will bring a few friends with him every now and then. return.At the time, this was not a joke, and it was not a small crime to gather a crowd to watch obscene videos.Once, he leaked out and was almost caught by the police station.We were all worried that something would happen to Yu Yuqiang if he continued like this, and he would cause a catastrophe. This kid has always been reckless in certain things.Ah Yan then refused to borrow the camera from him, and she told him that if there are any good movies in the future, she will bring them here to watch together. Yu Yuqiang said: "I borrowed the tape, godmother, you don't want to read it." Ah Yan said: "Whether I want to watch it or not, I won't borrow the video camera anyway." Yu Yuqiang often borrowed some videos to bring back, basically that kind of action movies.He jokingly called these films teaching films. Ah Yan was a little anxious: "Why do you always borrow this kind of educational film?" This kid Yu Yuqiang has no other skills, but he is very good at borrowing that kind of video tape, and he can get all kinds of weird things.Some things are just like this. When we first watched together, we felt awkward and unbearable. After watching too much, it was just like that. We got used to it.Everyone watches it together, everyone appreciates it together, and it’s no big deal.Sometimes, the four of us watch and discuss.Ah Yan still can't change the habit of making a lot of fuss, and she can't help being surprised. She often can't read the whole thing, and then leaves after watching for a while, and then comes out to watch for a while.She was always fidgeting, like a vigilant rabbit, standing up and walking around at every turn. Ah Yan is always condemning this kind of film, women are like this, they always like to act serious.In fact, I also know that Ah Yan may not really hate these things, but she just can't control those more or less true or false resentments.She was just being prim sometimes, on purpose, to show a deep distaste for such things.I know she doesn't object to it sometimes, but she just thinks it's awkward for everyone to watch it together.She prefers to move the TV and VCR into the bedroom, turn the volume down to the lowest, and enjoy it slowly with me under the covers. After so many years of running-in, when we were in our forties, almost fifty years old, Ah Yan and I finally found a little feeling.I always thought it was the chemical effect of the video tape, and felt that she finally had some enlightenment, and finally understood that men and women have fun, and it turned out to be the most beautiful thing in the world.Ah Yan was finally no longer as indifferent and disinterested as she used to be, as if these were just other people's affairs, just the husband and wife's obligation to the man, just the responsibility of being a wife, just a selfless dedication to being a good person and doing good deeds.She began to take some initiative, though often clumsily, often without a clue, and without even the most basic of imaginations.Obviously, Ah Yan is working hard, trying to get better, and cooperating with her heart.She suddenly turned into a woman who was a little strange to me, and I faintly felt that she had changed, became a little inexplicable, and became a little unfathomable. It seems that the fountain of happiness has been found, and the gate leading to the world of bliss has also been discovered. Ayan is no longer a dry desert, nor is it like the past, digging deeply, and never getting water out.She is no longer the kind of barren land where not a single blade of grass grows, no matter how much sunshine and rain there is, there is no green that represents life.We seem to have suddenly discovered a new continent.To be honest, I like this change of her.I didn't like her original prudence, of course, I mean her bad behavior in bed in the past.This has been bothering me for so many years.I think the regret between us is not that we can't have our own children. The biggest regret is that we can't find that feeling.Ah Yan also knew this was a problem, she had consulted with her sisters, and discussed the experience with her closest girlfriend.In order to cure her frigidity, she even went to the hospital to prescribe hormonal drugs, and took the aphrodisiac specially for women for a while. Of course, it was not a real aphrodisiac. Now, although we are approaching 50 years old, we have been married for more than 20 years, and we are about to reach menopause, it is obviously late for the two of us to have this kind of spiritual interaction, but it is precisely because it is late So many good times have been lost that they are especially precious.Ah Yan was also surprised by these changes in herself, and once she couldn't help asking me: "Fourth, aren't we a bit old-fashioned?" I said what are we going to do with such seriousness.I said if we like being old-fashioned, why not just be old-fashioned.I said, don't you understand that we have wasted so many good times in vain, you should feel sorry, because we should have enjoyed these things at a real price long ago.During that period of time, we were immersed in happiness. Sometimes, it was broad daylight, and Xiaopeng went to school, and we suddenly became emotional, and we didn't even bother to pull the curtains, so we happily fought.Two people in their late fifties, as crazy as young people, have been married for many years, and the running-in between us seems to have just finished. It's a pity that such a happy time didn't last long, because soon, soon we found that there was a problem again, and there was a very serious problem.We never dreamed that Ah Yan and I would suffer from STDs at the same time.The good day had just begun, and it was suddenly interrupted in embarrassment.This kind of disease can be easily diagnosed by going to the hospital for an examination, and it is absolutely certain. You can't deny it even if you want to. Both husband and wife already have it.Ah Yan originally had some gynecological diseases, and she always thought that her itching was related to it, but now the hospital test report shows everything. With that kind of questioning that was deliberately not pursued, we all felt that we were really ashamed, as if we were stripped naked and exposed to the public. This is really a very terrible accident, this is a disaster, although it is in a public place, although the doctor has repeatedly said that this is not incurable, and calmly comforted me, we still look flustered and terrified. Holding their respective test sheets, they become like wooden figures.We were all obviously stunned by the results of the test. Everyone's face was heavy, and we had nothing to say.We all seemed to understand right away what was going on, because we both knew the answer wasn't complicated.When I left the hospital, at the gate of the hospital, Ah Yan's face turned from white to red, and then from red to white again. She looked at me and said desperately: "Fourth, how could this happen?" I was immediately speechless, and immediately thought of Qin. Ah Yan almost cried: "What the hell is going on here?" Without any doubts, I firmly believe that this matter is definitely related to Qin. I went to Qin with a very angry mood.I bid farewell to Ah Yan in a hurry, and went directly to Qin's residence.I was really angry at the time, thinking that she transferred this damn STD to me.How could you have thought of such an unlucky thing, how could you have thought that such an unlucky thing happened to you.I went to find Qin angrily, filled with righteous indignation, but I didn't expect that Qin was as angry as me, and she was even more angry than me, because at this time she was suffering from the same pain.The most unacceptable thing for me is that she would think the same as me, believing that I passed the STD to her.We are all preparing to settle accounts with each other.So in Qin's residence, we confronted Maimang with needles, and quarreled loudly over this matter.Ever since Qin had a relationship with Lao Ju, her temper has also turned bullish.Lao Ju is a deputy section chief of the District Court. This kind of person is not a big official and has a lot of power. With his support, Qin has also become a powerful character who is justified and unwilling to forgive others.When she found out that I refused to admit my mistake, and that it was her fault, she immediately yelled at me and tried to fight me desperately. I said, "Do you know that, you've ruined me." Qin said: "You are the one who ruined me. I finally wanted to marry Lao Ju. I didn't expect this kind of thing to happen." I said you are fierce, except for you, I have never had anything to do with any woman during this time.I don't ask you to find someone, I said you can't fuck me like this, we have no grievances, do you know, now that my wife is also sick, this is all a good thing you did, you are completely destroy me.Qin said angrily, "Fuck your mother, why are you sure it's me, why can't it be your wife who stole someone outside, why can't it be her who stole a man outside."As soon as she finished speaking, I casually slapped her hard. I will never allow others to say that about Ayan.This was the first time in my history that my fourth child hit a woman with his hands. I almost didn't think about it, and I slapped her.It was a backhand swipe, using Taijiquan's style, this stance is called "pull", that is, a backhand swipe with the back of the hand. It seems that it is just a swipe, but it is very lethal. Red blood flowed from the corner of Qin's mouth immediately, and when he opened his mouth, a bloody tooth fell out.When the neighbors heard the sound, they all gathered around. Qin covered her mouth and cried while saying: "Cai, you stinky rascal, ok, you keep saying that you never hit women, but today you hit me, you hit me." I thought I had come to this point, so I could only admit that I was unlucky, and there was no point in entanglement, so I prepared to withdraw and leave.Qin came up and grabbed me, crying and yelling, saying that you beat someone, and you just want to leave, it's so easy.You shameless thing, hit it, hit it again.Of course I wouldn't hit her again, she grabbed me, and I wanted to get rid of her, but whenever I moved, she screamed hoarsely.By this time, she had no regard for face at all, and until the local police station arrived, she still grabbed my clothes tightly.We were taken to the police station. Naturally, we would not have thought of such an ending beforehand. The people at the police station asked us to tell what happened.I said angrily, what is there to talk about, this woman is too shameless, you ask her what's going on. Qin gritted her teeth with hatred and said, "Cai, you are really not a man. Please make it clear, who are we to be ashamed of?" The people at the police station listened to it for a long time, but couldn't figure it out. They could only ask us to narrate what happened over and over again.It’s impossible to explain this kind of thing clearly, as soon as you talk about it, it’s a quarrel. After the quarrel, the people in the police station got impatient and beat each other with 50 big boards: "It seems that this matter is really unclear. Anyway, it is wrong for you to hit someone. How can you do it, a big man, think about it, no matter how reasonable it is, it is wrong to do it. And you may not be justified, you What is your reason? I don’t think you are right. You have to review your mistakes and your behavior. Especially you, you hurt someone, and you hurt someone’s lesbian. The medical expenses There must be compensation." I expressed my willingness to pay for medical expenses. Qin said bitterly: "Could it be that the fight is for nothing, just paying for medical expenses?" The person at the police station said, "We should also pay for nutrition expenses and lost wages." I expressed my willingness to pay for nutrition expenses and lost wages. "I can't just forget it like this. It's not just the medical expenses for hurting me," Qin said angrily. I immediately became furious: "I haven't asked you to pay the medical expenses yet!" So we quarreled again.Qin knew that I would never do anything at the police station, so she jumped into a rage, jumped up and down, and said everything.I felt that I was really ashamed anyway, and I was willing to go all out. Let others see whatever jokes they want to see.So we came and went, no one allowed anyone to bicker, and the quarrel was so intense that in the end, the people at the police station couldn't stand it anymore, so they had to stand up and intervene: "Hey, is this the place where you guys quarrel? If you really want to quarrel, go outside!" Next, the people at the police station decided to let me go first.All they can do now is tear us apart quickly.Qin felt that the people at the police station were deliberately protecting me, crying and making noise, saying why did you let him go, he is a hooligan, you should arrest him.The people at the police station were disgusted, saying that it is up to you to arrest people or not.Besides, why are you in a hurry, he can't run away, so he can do whatever he wants at that time.We can't always let you make a lot of noise at the police station and affect our normal work.We did this to let you calm down first, and let everyone get rid of a little anger before talking. So, amidst Qin's roar, I left the police station dejectedly.As soon as I left the police station, I thought of Ah Yan waiting for me at home, thinking that she was waiting for me, my mind went blank, and I felt an indescribable fear.I seemed to hear Ah Yan showing off her power from a distance, and was roaring like a zither.There were people coming and going on the street, I was walking blankly, trying not to think about this matter in my heart, trying not to think about Ayan.This is a very serious matter.I know that I have gone too far, and I feel that I have no face to face Ah Yan again.It was about five o'clock in the afternoon, and although distracted, I realized I was hungry.The feeling of hunger suddenly became very strong, and it suddenly occurred to me that I haven't even eaten lunch yet.I went straight from the hospital to Qin's home in a rage, then was noisy, then was taken to the police station, and then just like now, I walked aimlessly on the street.Obviously, Ah Yan was waiting for me, waiting to settle accounts with me, and I knew that there was going to be an inevitable storm, and it was likely to turn the world upside down.Before A-Yan could go on with me about it, I decided to eat my fill first, so I walked into a small restaurant in a daze and had a full meal. It wasn't until after nine o'clock in the evening that I went home in fear.Sure enough, Ah Yan was sitting in the living room waiting for me. She was sitting in the living room with the lights off, waiting for my arrival in the dark.As soon as she saw me, she stood up suddenly, and I immediately realized that a storm was about to start, as if I had felt the lightning in the dark, as if I had seen the flying sand and stones.Fortunately, I have already thought of a countermeasure, and I sincerely asked her not to say anything now. I said that I don't want to talk about anything, and I don't want to discuss anything.As if I punched out quickly, I blocked all the upcoming topics with a few words: "Let's not say anything now, it's all my fault anyway, it's my fourth brother who is sorry for you, Ayan, I don't know what to do, how to deal with it, how to explain it, you look at it Let's do it!" After I finished speaking, I turned around and went back to the room, lying on the bed and sulking.I've made up my mind, from now on, no matter what Ah Yan is nagging me, I will ignore her.I decided to use silence to fight her, take defense as offense, and avoid her edge first.To be honest, at that time, I felt uneasy for a while, and I was overwhelmed for a while.I was thinking about how to end this matter, and whether Ah Yan could forgive herself again.Out of my expectation, Ah Yan didn't chase me in and nag me about it, and she didn't even react as strongly as she should.We're stuck in a no-war no-peace situation, which is exactly what I want.Ah Yan just ignored me and stayed in the living room.That night, she just sat alone in the dark living room. The next morning, while I was still lying on the bed, two police officers broke in. One of them was seen at the police station yesterday. I knew it. The other one was not. This man was very unfriendly and kept a straight face the whole time .After they came in, they asked me to put on my clothes immediately, and then they didn't let me brush my teeth or wash my face, and took me away under Ah Yan's nose. I was taken to the police station again, and when I got there, the police officers seriously announced to me that I was suspected of rape and had now been formally detained.I was baffled and didn't understand what was going on.The attitude of the people at the police station was completely different from yesterday. They all had pale faces and ignored any of my questions.For a while, I was left alone in an empty room, and no one came to ask me about it for a long time.Gradually, I finally figured out the reason. It turned out that Qin had sued me for raping her.My first reaction was that it was ridiculous, it was just absurd.But I soon discovered that apart from being ridiculous and absurd, this matter was really troublesome, because I suddenly discovered that there was an old man behind Qin. Ju is backing her up. Lao Ju is also a friend of my fourth brother. As long as a person is doing business, it is impossible not to make some friends like this, from the tax bureau, the industrial and commercial bureau, the epidemic prevention station, the telecommunications bureau, the water company, and the gas company. Yes, anyway, everyone is in the kind of mutual use relationship.Lao Ju works in the district court. Although he is only a minor clerk at the sub-divisional level, he usually looks like a nonchalant person, but he is a very capable person, and he is absolutely unambiguous.He fell in love with Qin for some reason, and he was interested in Qin at that time, and wanted to hang her shoulders.I knew that people in the court could not afford to offend, so I warned Qin not to reveal our relationship no matter what.Whether she can take a fancy to Lao Ju is another matter. Men are prone to jealousy. I don't want Lao Ju to cause unnecessary trouble because of my relationship with her. Qin didn't like Laoju at all at first.Of course she likes young people, and of course she likes rich people. Lao Ju is neither young nor rich, and she also has a very fierce wife.After leaving my shop, Qin went around a lot outside, and finally became Lao Ju's mistress.This old Ju really had a deep affection for Qin, and after he got married with Qin, his wife fought with him to the death, and in the end they really divorced.After Lao Ju's divorce, Qin was determined to marry him. Originally, I didn't have any need to provoke Qin anymore. To be honest, I don't have any old feelings with her.The past is long gone.But one day I met her by chance on the road, and Qin asked Xiaoyu, saying that this girl is now your daughter-in-law, so you have become an old man picking up ashes.She has always been so outspoken.We chatted for a while, and she took the initiative to talk about her recent situation, and asked me to go to her place to have a look.Lao Ju borrowed a house for her. It has been so many years since she came to the city. It is the first time for her to have her own independent residence. Have you met any new women recently? She doesn't believe that I will be so loyal to Ah Yan at all. I said, "The fourth child is no longer the fourth child in the past." Qin said: "Why is it not the law, the fourth child will never become the fifth child, right? Don't you have nothing to do with Xiaoyu?" "I can swear it." "Being around under your nose all day long, you are really so honest and so obedient." "I'm still that good." "Who would believe that there are cats that don't eat fish?" Qin said that as soon as she got married, she would move to Laoju's new house.Qin said that Lao Ju now wants to marry her wholeheartedly.Then I couldn't control myself a little bit. People often can't help making mistakes at this time.I think Qin also has this intention, otherwise, she would not take the initiative to call me to her residence.Some things are obvious, after all, there has been that kind of communication in the past, and it is a matter of course, and I think it is not normal to have no expression under the circumstances at that time. Qin half pushed and said to me: "Aren't you afraid that Lao Ju will know that Lao Ju is a big jealousy?" It's fine if she doesn't say that, but the more she says that, the less I care.I said so what if Lao Ju knows, even if he is queuing, he is still at the back.My fourth child is not convinced by this bird-like attitude, thinking what is Lao Ju, he is a piece of shit, and he just eats and drinks with me, and I also know that Qin is not really on good terms with Lao Ju up.If she really loved Lao Ju to death, we wouldn't do that at all. I said, "If Lao Ju knows, he should be happy." "Why are you happy?" "People say that two people have such a good relationship that they wear a pair of trousers. We both wear the same pair of shoes, and we wear the same pair of broken shoes. How interesting it is." Jean made like she was going to hit me.I know that Qin will not tell Lao Ju about this matter, she has indeed kept it a secret from him, because it will not do her any good to tell her about it.Now that Qin is ready to marry him, it is impossible for her to tell Lao Ju the truth.Originally, this kind of one-shot deal is naturally over when it's over, neither of us will spread the matter, she doesn't want Lao Ju to know, I don't want Ah Yan to know. But just as I left the police station that day, Qin, who was crying and making noise, suddenly changed her mind about keeping a secret. She called Lao Ju and told us all about our affairs.She cried a lot to Lao Ju, as if the white-haired girl was accusing Huang Shiren, saying that my fourth child was useless, and describing me as a villain who committed a heinous crime.At this time, Qin, the misfortune has come out anyway, and Lai can't rely on it, and she can't care about the consequences of Lao Ju knowing the truth, and will not marry her again.到了这一步，她只能是豁出去了。 老鞠恨得咬牙切齿，当即就表态，说绝不会饶过我。 “恶有恶报，他跑不了的，”老鞠对琴发起了毒誓，“老子这次非要他好看不可，非要让他好好地吃些苦头。” 老鞠和派出所上上下下的人都认识，他这一介入，情况立刻发生了变化。我被带到了审讯室，他们对我进行了突击审讯，逼着我交待强奸的详细过程。我做梦也没想到还会来这一手，抵死也不肯承认。他们说根据琴的检举揭发，说在多年以前，就强奸过她，在当时这属于利用职权强奸。最近，又利用要把这件事说出去，再次强奸了她，这属于胁迫逼奸。琴检举说我在前不久的短短一个星期里，强奸了她三次，而且其中有一次，是连续做了两次。他们让我老实交待，是不是真有这事，我说没有，根本就不可能有。他们说，怎么会没有，不要以为事情过去好多年了，最近的这件事也过去快两个月了，你就可以抵赖，要知道这种事是抵赖不了的。 我想不到他们会这么轻信琴的话，坚决不承认是强奸，我说既然真像她说的那样，为什么不早点告我。再说什么一个星期里三次，什么做了两次，我都这岁数了，哪有这个能耐。我说一共就那么一次，那次是在她的住处，她愿意的，我不说她主动我就不错了。我说大家都愿意，怎么能叫作强奸。他们说，是不是强奸，不能你说了算。单位领导把手底下的女人占有了，这叫什么，这叫利用职权。你掌握过去与她有过关系的把柄，又一次胁迫她，这也是强奸。告诉你，凡是违背妇女意志的性行为，都叫强奸，连老婆不愿意，硬搞，这还叫婚内强奸呢。老师弄学生，领导弄群众，上级弄下级，只要女的不愿意，这都是强奸。琴以前是不是在你手底下做事，你是不是她的老板，你不是是威胁过她。 我愤愤不平地说：“按照你们这种不讲理的说法，我强奸过的女人也太多了。” 他们于是问我究竟跟多少个女人发生过关系，他们说你老实交待，琴可是什么都检举了，说你这人坏得很。他们问我是不是已经和一打的女人睡过觉了。我故意装作不明白，很严肃地问一打是多少，他们说是十二个。 我便一本正经地说：“十二个肯定不止，那肯定不止一打了。” 我玩世不恭的态度显然激怒了他们。他们勃然大怒，说你果然是个臭流氓，一看你就不是个东西，一看你就是个无赖。你们这些道德败坏的小老板，自以为有了几个破钱，就可以无法无天，就可以想怎么玩女人就怎么玩女人。说老实话，我并不想惹他们生气，知道这些吃公家饭的人是得罪不起的，我说你们好好地想想，琴说我是强奸，那你们问问她，她若是个正派的好女人，我又是怎么得性病的，一个好端端的女人，怎么会有这种毛病。那时候，我还不知道琴这么做，是老鞠在后面撑腰。我当时只是想，只要稍稍动些脑子，就知道琴是在瞎说八道，就知道她是在陷害我。天知道琴这些年是怎么堕落的，我不过是玩了一次火，便产生这么严重的后果。我觉得我才是真正的受害者，琴这女人真是疯了，坑了我，竟然还会这么丧心病狂。 但是他们根本就不听我说，一定要逼着我承认是强奸。他们说像你这样有前科的人，当年根本就不应该从监狱里放出来。他们说把你这样的人，从牢里放出来，是给老百姓增加祸害，是给社会增加不稳定因素。我当时真是不明白他们为什么会这么恨我，为什么这么蔑视我，说到后来，我只能不理睬他们了，因为我觉得这已经不是在审讯，而是有意要栽赃陷害，硬把我往绝路上逼。他们看我拒绝回答任何问题，便威胁说，你要是真不交待，我们也有办法对付你，到时候你不要怪我们不客气，怪我们不讲道理。 到晚上，换了几个联防队员模样的人进来，这些人进了审讯室，门一关就动手，不分青红皂白，又是扇我的耳光，又是踢我的肚子。我说人民警察怎么可以打人，他们说我们是联防队员，我们不是人民警察，打了你也是白打。我老四怎么可能白白挨打，我老四什么时候受过这种窝囊气，立刻奋起反抗，立刻拉开架式，跟他们对打。说老实话，真是对打，凭我身上的功夫，打他们三个四个也不是问题。那帮人手上有电警棍，他们用电警棍电我，电得我在原地乱蹦乱跳。有一个胡子拉碴的家伙十分歹毒，故意用噼啪作响的电警棍对我的那个地方捅，害得我在小小的审讯室里到处跑，也顾不上是不是丢人，扯开了喉咙喊起来。 那时候，想不老实也不行了。那时候，我老四真是彻底地栽了。我再也不是什么英雄，我成了地地道道的狗熊。要说打架，老四从来不会吃亏，可是现在我只能自认倒霉。我知道如果继续反抗，自己恐怕日后做男人的机会都没有了。 我被送到拘留所关了半个月，在这半个月里，没人审讯，甚至根本就没人过问我的事情。那时候，我终于想明白是怎么回事，我终于知道老鞠的厉害。半个月以后，老鞠来看我了，我们在审讯室见了面。因为旁边没有别人，老鞠开门见山，竟然公开地威胁我，他说老四，你知道我可以怎么收拾你，我可以把你玩过的那些女人都找到，让她们联名告你，然后判你一个流氓罪，让你再坐上几年牢。 没想到他会这么赤裸裸地在拘留所里威胁我。他就这样公开跟我叫板，丝毫也不掩盖他对我的仇恨。我想自己完全可以反过来告他陷害，但是我知道自己没有证据，而且根本不是他的对手。一个饭馆的小老板，怎么会是一个法律工作者的对手。老鞠年龄大约与我差不多了，已经开始秃顶，头顶上贼亮贼亮的，穿着一身不是很讲究的西装，一边说话，一边用手不停地拉领带，紫红色的领带好像有些卡脖子，这让他感到很不舒服。我知道老鞠是说到就可以做到，我知道不仅仅是吓唬我，他显然有这样的能耐，因为在过去的日子里，曾不止一次听他吹嘘过这方面的本事。面对他的趾高气扬，我假装服软，很诚恳地说： “老鞠，我们总不至于为了一个女人，翻脸反目到这种程度吧。” “谁跟你为了一个女人？” “为了琴，不值得。” “你不要瞎说好不好！” “这有什么不好意思？” 老鞠没想到我在这时候，竟然还敢用这样的话调侃他。 “为这样的一个女人，真不值得！” “不要瞎扯好不好。” “谁瞎扯了，我想，琴肯定也把性病传染给你了，所以你会这么恨我！” 老鞠用仇恨的眼光看着我。 “你不应该恨我，老鞠，你应该恨琴，你真应该恨她，”我说着说着，竟然有些自鸣得意起来，老四已经憋了半个月，没和任何人说过话，既然有这么个说话的机会，我得痛痛快快地再说几句，“毫无疑问，这女人才是我们共同的敌人，是这女人把我们都给坑了，我们都是受害者，你不应该帮着她。你给我说句老实话，是不是也得病了，是不是那里很不舒服，痒得难受，我告诉你，得赶快治疗，赶快去看医生。” 正说着，有人进来了，我们的谈话已不可能再进行下去。老鞠脸色铁青，咬紧了嘴唇，我立刻想到自己会为这次谈话付出惨重代价，那时候也顾不上了，伸头是一刀，缩头也是一刀，头掉了，不过是碗大的一个疤，我才不会为这种事后悔。大丈夫做事敢做敢当，我老四是那种宁折不弯的脾气，宁愿为自己做错的事情，接受任何惩罚，也不愿意让老鞠骑在脖子上拉屎。说老实话，我根本就没把这什么老鞠放在心上。他爱怎么整我就怎么整好了，当时我心里最难受的是觉得对不住阿妍，为了阿妍，我接受什么样的惩罚都不过分。不用说再坐几年牢，就是把我拉出去毙了，只要阿妍她觉得解恨，我绝对不会有一丝一毫的犹豫。 在看守所一天只吃两顿饭，因为没人提审，我一天到晚除了坐在那反省，没别的事可做。好像已经被人忘记了，好像一个没用的废物，被随手被扔进了垃圾箱，我绝大多数的时间都是坐在那里发怔，仿佛闭关修炼打坐一样，我觉得自己差不多已经成了一座石像。看守所里人满为患，每一个号子里都塞得满满的，不要说是躺下来，就是坐在那里都嫌拥挤。我不跟任何人交谈，号子里晃过来晃过去的犯人，与我仿佛没有任何关系。我沉浸在回忆中，那时候真是有太多的时间可以想到阿妍，我开始无数次地想她这时候正在干什么，想我们刚开始相爱的那段美好时光，想我们狼狈不堪的初夜，想自己最初的背叛，想这么多年来经过的风风雨雨。我似乎又回到了当年插队当知青的时候，阿妍已经回城了，我孤伶伶地留在农村，朝思暮想，对未来的前景感到一片渺茫。那一段日子正是刻骨铭心，那一段日子正是太值得怀念了，当时不要说不会料到自己日后会一次次背叛阿妍，就连一丝一毫对阿妍不忠实的念头也不敢有。 一个多月以后，看守人员突然把我带到了办公室，打了几个电话以后，用不耐烦的口气，宣布了一个让我吃惊的消息。他们说，你现在可以离开了，想去什么地方，就去地方吧。我感到非常意外，感到有些不可思议。就像不明白自己为什么被抓进来一样，我也不明白为什么突然又把我释放了。我就这样胡里胡涂地又重新恢复了自由。他们竟然用一种近乎开玩笑的口吻，告诉我释放的理由。他们说不是因为我无罪，而是看守所的犯人实在太多了。他们让我明白，我老四所以被释放，不过是因为运气好，是捡了个大便宜，是躲过了应受的惩罚。他们说我这种人放出去也是祸害，放出去了，迟早还会回来。他们让我在一些文件上签字，然后让我换衣服，然后就把我带到看守所的大门外面。 阿妍正在那里等我，她看到我垂头丧气的样子，也不说话，一脸悲伤和忧郁。看守人员将我交给阿妍，扭头走了，沉重的大铁门哐的一声被带上，撞击声在空气中久久回荡。 我当时胡子拉碴，剃着一个犯人头，缓缓地走到阿妍面前。我不知道说什么好，我们就这么默默无言地相对，她看着我，我看着她。刚看到她的时候，我真是百感交集，热泪盈眶。我知道自己突然被释放，肯定是有原因的，世界上任何事情都会有原因，任何事情都不会无缘无故。在看守所里枯坐之际，我曾为阿妍对我的不闻不问感到悲哀，那时候，你的感觉就像一个被遗弃的孤儿，你觉得自己罪有应得，你觉得自己罪该万死，可是你多多少少还会有那么一点不死心。我们毕竟夫妻一场，我们曾经是那么恩爱。好在眼前的一切，已充分说 明了我对阿妍还是有误会，因为从她的目光中，我并没有看到太多的怨恨，或者说就算是有些怨恨，她也仍然是过去那个宽宏大量的阿妍。我的良心正在遭受深深的谴责，我看到的是她眼里的悲伤。真是太对不住阿妍了，我感到无地自容。当时我还在想，即使你又犯了不能原谅的错误，她最终还是原谅了你，这就是阿妍，这就是那个与你相伴了二十多年的结发妻子。一时间，我对阿妍充满的悔意，发现自己比过去更爱她，更渴望得到她的宽恕。我真希望她能狠狠地惩罚我，就像收拾一个犯错误的孩子那样，冲过来打也好，骂也好，无论她怎么对待我，我都会心甘情愿地接受。 但是，她只是一声不吭。这让我感到很难受，不仅难受，而且很快就开始感到别扭。我不知道应该如何向她表示道歉，直截了当地说一声对不起，痛哭流涕地表示悔过，都不是我老四所擅长。她显然也有什么话要对我说，话已经在嘴边了，好像就是说不出口。她的脸憋得红红的： “老四，我们恐怕要很好地谈一下――” 说完了这句话以后，却一直没有下文。这时候，我看到不远处停着一辆小面包车。我认识那车，那是派出所的车。让我老四感到惊奇的，不是认出了那辆车，而是看到老鞠也神气活现地坐在车里面。 我们直接去了派出所，一路上大家都不说话。我这心里开始七上八下，不知道老鞠的葫芦里卖的是什么药。我说过，自己并不在乎老鞠，但是嘴上说不在乎，并不意味着我真是一点都不怕他。事实上，我知道老鞠这人很不好对付，如果要说我老四内心其实有点怕他，也真不能算错。说老实话，我一路都在担心，不知道老鞠对阿妍说了些什么，也不知道阿妍内心此时究竟在想什么。终于到了目的地，进了一间空荡荡的办公室，我才知道是要和琴签订协议。原来琴已经撤销了对我的强奸起诉，也就是说，她不准备告我了，条件是我不仅要赔礼道歉，还必须做出相应的经济赔偿。现在，办公室里就只有我和阿妍，我粗粗地看了一眼那份草拟好的协议，立刻指出是我导致琴患上性病这一条，明显不符合事实，实际情况应该是恰恰相反。 阿妍不耐烦地说：“不要说那么多话了，你就签字吧！” “我不可能在这玩意上签字。” 阿妍的脸涨红了。 我继续重申自己为什么不能在这上面签字的理由。 阿妍说：“先签了字再说，好不好！” 我强调自己是受害者，我显然是被诬陷的。也许大家都觉得这是解决问题的最佳方案，也许这就是背后协商的最终结果，但是却忽视了当事者本人的意愿，没有认真地想一想我老四是否可以接受。我告诉阿妍，她应该知道我的脾气，她应该知道我的性格，我不可能在这么一张胡说八道的协议上签字，不可能接受这么一个不平等的协议。阿妍有些绝望，她似乎是不知道怎么办才好，呆呆地看着我。这时候，一名派出所的人推门进来，问我们是不是已经准备好了。他看了看墙上的挂钟，告诉我们琴已经到了，如果已准备好，大家马上就见面，把这件事尽快解决掉。阿妍连忙要求再给我们一些时间，派出所的人不乐意地说，快一点，这种事你们早就应该商量好的，反正就这么回事了，早签好早回家。 等到那人退出去，阿妍用商量的口吻问我，可以不可由她代签。 阿妍说：“我回去跟你慢慢地解释好不好？” “阿妍，你这是怎么了，是不是老鞠这个狗日的威胁你，”我不明白阿妍为什么会这么急着要签字，外面已经能听见人声，好像琴已经到门口了，阿妍显得非常慌张，脸色由红转白，变得十分苍白，我不明白她为什么会这样，仍然愤愤不平地说着，“我告诉你，就是去坐牢，我也不会低这个头的，你怕什么？” “那我只能对你说实话了。老四，没有人威胁我，情况并不像你想象的那样，真实的情况是，真实的情况就是，就是那女人的病确确实实和你有关。” “这不可能，你不要听她的鬼话。” “她没说错，她说的是真话。” “怎么可能是真话？” “是真话。老四，怎么跟你说呢，我只能告诉你事实就是这样，说到底还是我不好，都怪我。老四，这件事是我不好。” 阿妍一边说，一边低下头来。时间已经不多了，她现在必须抓紧时间，把事情的真相毫无保留地说出来。她怔了一下，突然说出一个让人做梦也不可能想到的事实真相。虽然说出真相很困难，这种事情实在难于启口，虽然这时候谈这些很尴尬，时间地点都不合适，但是已到了不得不说的地步，她已经无路可退。阿妍终于把真相告诉了我，她说琴的性病，确实是我老四传染给她的，而我的病源却又是从阿妍那里传染来的。就仿佛市场上的商品传销一样，我是琴的上家，阿妍是我的上家，在阿妍的前面，还有一个上家，一环紧扣着一环，一个接着一个。这完全是一个让人难堪并且难以接受的事实真相。也就是说，确实是我怨枉了琴。也就是说，是阿妍红杏出墙，背着我和别的男人有染，是别的男人让阿妍得了病，然后这病又传到了我的身上。 我的第一个反应，是老鞠下了一个套。我不相信真相会是这样，不相信阿妍会做出这种出格的事情。这更像是电视剧中常见的一个情节，在黑社会的压迫下，阿妍为了将拯救我，为了拯救她心爱的丈夫，不惜牺牲了自己的名声。但是这个念头只是一闪而过，像火柴划着时燃起的火苗，嚓的一下亮起来，很快又熄灭了。紧接着便出现了第二个反应，彻底地否定了前面的那个反应，因为第一个反应太天真太浪漫，十分容易地就被推翻。没有一个女人会这么傻，傻到了硬要往自己的身上栽赃，傻到了硬要用屎往自己的脸上抹。我知道阿妍的性格，在这些原则性的问题上，她我老四一样，绝对是宁折不弯，她绝对不会低下自己的头。阿妍并不是谁逼迫她便可能就范的女人。我突然明白为什么出了这件事以后，阿妍一直避免和我正面接触。当我试图躲避她的时候，她其实也在躲避我。我突然想到了阿妍的种种可疑之处。有很多事情，你平时只是没有去想，你没有认真去想，一想就突然全明白了，一想就真相大白。很显然，阿妍没有说谎，并不是在演戏，她和我一样，不是个好演员，那种高难度的角色绝对演不了。 我没有时间继续深思下去。脑子里本来就乱，现在又仿佛有人用剪刀伸进去绞了一下，所有的头绪都变得杂乱无章。派出所的人领着琴推门进来了，一下子跟着进来了好几个人，原来空荡荡的办公室开始变得人声嘈杂。这时候，我正陷在极度的慌乱之中，突然看到琴板着脸，正对我怒目而视，两个大眼睛仿佛要喷出火来。派出所的人让我们坐下，因为根本就没有几张椅子，事实上我们只好还是站在那里。我听见老鞠和一个人正说着什么，热烈地说着一个毫不相干的话题。眼前乱哄哄的，我不明白为什么会有那么多派出所的人过来看笑话，大家好像都是闲着没事，都跑来看热闹了，他们进进出出，跟这件事情没有任何关系。接下来，有人把那份协议念了一遍，然后就是问当事人还有没有什么补充意见，然后就是双方签字，先是琴签，她签好了，轮到我签，我签完了，就听见琴咬牙切齿地说： “姓蔡的，你这个臭流氓，我真想给你一个耳光。” 我茫然地看着她，真心地希望她能在这时候给我一个耳光。 琴的手高高地举了起来，她并没有真的打，我仿佛听见空气中有扇过耳光的回响声。