hand Among our classmates, we have never seen such hands: blue, black, and purple-like; the color changes from the nails to the wrist. In her first few days, we called her "monster".After class, everyone ran on the floor and always circled around her.About her hands, but no one has asked. The teacher was calling names, which made us more and more unbearable, and we had to laugh. "Li Jie!" "Here." "Zhang Chufang!" "Here." "Xu Guizhen!" "Here." Quickly and regularly, one stood up and one sat down.But every time I shouted to Wang Yaming's place, it took some time.

"Wang Yaming, Wang Yaming... I'm calling you!" Other students sometimes urged her, so she stood up, hung her green hands straight, dropped her shoulders, and said to the roof: "Here, there ,arrive." No matter how much the classmates laughed at her, she didn't feel flustered at all, she still made the chair noise, solemnly, and seemed to take a few minutes to sit down. One day in English class, the English teacher laughed so hard that he took off his glasses and wiped his eyes: "Don't answer 'black ear' next time, just answer 'yes'!"

The whole class was laughing and mopping the floor loudly. In English class the next day, when we called Wang Yaming again, we heard "Hei-er-hei-er" again. "Have you ever learned English?" The English teacher moved his glasses. "Isn't that the English language? I learned it before, and it was taught by Mr. Pocky Face... The pencil is called 'jet', and the pen is called 'basin'. But I haven't learned 'black ear'." "Here means 'here', you read: here! here" Xi'er, Xi'er. "She read "Xi'er" again. Such a strange reading method made the whole class tremble with laughter. But Wang Yaming, she sat down peacefully, and began to turn the pages of the book with her blue hands. And read in a low voice Get up: "Huati...the thief is dead...A'er..."

In math class, she read the math problems like reading articles: "2X+Y=...X2=..." On the lunch table, the cyan hand had already grabbed the steamed buns, and she was still thinking about the "Geography" textbook: "Silver is produced in Mexico...Yunnan...well, marble from Yunnan." At night, she hid in the toilet to read, and when it was dawn, she sat on the stairs.As long as there is a little light, I have often met her.One morning when it was snowing heavily, white velvet-like tassels hung on the branches outside the window. On the other side of the dormitory, at the end of the long corridor, someone seemed to be sleeping on the window sill.

"Who? It's so cold here!" My leather shoes slapped the floor, making a hollow buzzing sound, because it was Sunday morning, and the whole school appeared in a unique tranquility.Some students are putting on clothes; some students are still sleeping on the bed. Before I got to her side, I saw the pages of the book spread on my lap being turned by the wind. "Who is this? You still work so hard on Sunday!" Just as she was about to wake her up, she suddenly saw the blue hand. "Wang Yaming, ah...wake up..." I haven't called her by name directly yet, so I feel jerky and stiff.

"Hey, drink... you're asleep!" Whenever she spoke, she always started to smile bluntly. "Huati...thieves die, right...love..." She began to read before she could find the words in the book. "Huati...Zhousi, this British dialect is really difficult...it's not like our Chinese characters: what's next to the word, what's the beginning...this one: twists and turns, like a long worm crawling in the brain, the more it crawls, the more confused it becomes, the more confused it becomes. I can't remember the more I climb. The English teacher said it's not difficult, it's not difficult, and I don't think it's difficult for you. My brain is stupid, and the brains of country people are not as flexible as yours. My father is not as good as me. He said that when he was young , I just memorized the word 'Wang' for him, and I still haven't remembered it after half a meal. Right...love...right...A'er..."

After finishing a sentence, she started to read the words again at the irrelevant end. The windmill rattled on the wall, and small snowflakes flew in from the ventilation window from time to time, and some water droplets formed on the window sill. Her eyes were completely covered with red threads; greedy, possessive, fighting for her unsatisfied desire like the blue hands. I've seen her in corners, where there's only a little light, like a mouse gnawing on something. When her father came to see her for the first time, he said that she was getting fat: "Damn, I'm getting fat. The food here is better than the food at home, isn't it? Work hard! After three years of working, you won't be a saint. Finally, I understand the principles of human relationships." In the classroom, within a week, everyone was imitating Wang Yaming's father.The second time, her father came to see him again, and she asked her father for a pair of gloves.

"Just give me this pair! Books, study hard, don't you want a pair of gloves? Wait a minute, don't be too busy... Wear this pair first if you want to wear them. It's spring! I don't go out often, Mingzi, let’s buy it again last winter, shall we? Mingzi!” shouted at the door of the reception room, surrounded by classmates, so he called Mingzi Mingzi again, and said something: “Third sister to the second My aunt went to visit the house for two or three days! The little fat pig added two more handfuls of beans every day, so fat that you didn’t see it, and the ears were stretched out... My sister came home to pickle two jars of salted onions... ..."

When he was sweating, the headmistress stood in front of the crowd in clothes: "Please sit in the audience room—" "No, no, I can't afford to delay time, I still have to catch the train... Hurry back, there are a group of children at home, I can’t let go..." He put the fur hat on his hand, nodded to the principal, with steam on his head, he pushed open the door and went out. It seemed as if the principal had chased him away Yes. But he turned back and took off the gloves. "Father, you should wear them. It's useless for me to wear gloves." Her father also had blue hands, bigger and darker than Wang Yaming's.

In the newspaper reading room, Wang Yaming asked me: "You mean, is that right? Do you need money to sit down and talk in the interview room?" "Where do you want money! What kind of money do you want!" "Speak softly so they can hear them. They're joking again." She pointed at the newspaper I was reading with her palm, "My father said that there are teapots and tea bowls in the reception room. The school clerk poured tea, and it cost money to pour tea. I said no, but he didn’t believe it. He said that even going into a small shop to drink a bowl of water would cost some money, let alone the school? How much do you think the school is? Great place!"

The principal has said to her several times: "Your hands, can't you wash them? Add more soap! Wash them well and scald them with hot water. During morning exercises, the hundreds of arms erected on the playground are It's white, it's you, special! Really special." The headmistress touched Wang Yaming's green hand with her anemic and fossil-like transparent fingers, and she seemed to be afraid, and seemed to hold her breath slightly. , as if asking her to touch a black dead bird. "It has faded a lot, and the skin can be seen on the palm of your hand. It is much stronger than when you came here. At that time, it was like an iron hand... Can you catch up with your homework? Work harder, and you won't need to do morning exercises in the future. Come on, the school wall is very low, and there are many foreigners walking in spring, they often stop outside the wall to watch. Wait for your hands to fade before doing morning exercises!" The principal told her and stopped her morning exercises. "I've already asked my father for gloves, won't you be invisible when I wear them?" She opened the bookcase and took out her father's gloves. The principal laughed so hard that he coughed, and his anemic face turned red immediately: "No need! Since it's not neat, wearing gloves is also not neat." The snow on the rockery has melted away, and the school clerk seems to be beating the bell louder. The poplar tree in front of the window is sprouting, and the playground seems to be smoking, being evaporated by the sun.During morning exercises, the commander's flute blew far away, echoing the people in the bushes outside the window. We were running and jumping, making noise like a flock of birds.The sugary air hangs over us, and the wind from the treetops mingles with the scent of buds.The soul shackled by winter stretches out like the cotton covered by bundles. Just when the morning exercise was just over, I suddenly heard someone calling at the window of the building, and the voice was carried by the air to the sky: "What a warm sun! Are you hot? You..." The budding Yang Behind the tree, at the window stood Wang Yaming. When the poplar trees had grown green leaves and the courtyard was full of shadows, Wang Yaming gradually became shriveled, the edges of her eyes turned green, her ears seemed to be thinner, and her shoulders were no longer visible at all. Be savage and strong.When she happened to appear in the shade, the breasts that had begun to sag made me immediately think of someone with consumptive disease from her. "The principal said I can't keep up with my homework, but I can't keep up with it. If I can't keep up by the end of the year, drink! Will I really repeat the grade?" Although she still spoke in the same "drink" as before, but But her hands began to shrink back, her left hand was behind her back, and a hillock protruded from her right hand under the skirt. We have never seen her cry. On the day when the strong wind pulled up the poplar trees outside the window, she turned her back to the classroom and us, and cried to the strong wind outside the window.That was after the visitors had left, and she held her tears in her blue hands that had begun to fade. "Still crying! Why are you still crying? People who come to visit don't run away. Look for yourself, who is as special as you! You don't even talk about two blue hands, look, your coat is about to become It’s gray! Everyone else has blue shirts, how can you be so special, the clothes are too old and the color is irregular... You can’t break the regularity of the uniform just because of you..." She pressed her lips together, While tearing Wang Yaming's neckline with her pale fingers: "I told you to go downstairs and come up after the visitors have left. Who told you to stand in the aisle? In the aisle, think about it: they can't see you." Did you wear such a pair of gloves..." Speaking of "gloves", the principal's black patent leather shoes kicked the one that had fallen to the floor with the shiny toe: "Do you think it's good for you to stand here with gloves on?" What kind of game is this?" She stepped on the glove again, and she couldn't help laughing when she saw the glove that was as fat as a coachman. Wang Yaming cried this time, as if the rumors had stopped, but she hadn't stopped. After the summer vacation, she came again.The end of summer was almost as cool as autumn, and the sun before dusk dyed the roads and turned the paving stones vermilion.We gathered in a group to eat the shanding under the shanding tree in the school gate.At this time, the carriage that Wang Yaming was sitting in rushed over from the "Lama Terrace".As soon as the carriage stopped, there was complete silence. Her father was carrying the luggage, and she was holding the washbasin and some odds and ends.When she came up the steps, we didn't immediately get out of the way for her, and some said, "Come on!" "You're coming!" Some opened their mouths completely to her. When the white towel hanging from her father's belt trembled up the steps, someone said, "Why! After staying at home for a summer vacation, her hands are black again? Isn't that the same as iron? " After autumn, on the day when the dormitory moved, I really noticed the iron hand: I seemed to have fallen asleep, but I could hear the noise from the next door: "I don't want her, I don't want to sleep with her..." "I don't sleep with her either." When I listened carefully for a while, I couldn't hear anything clearly, only the humming of laughter and the wringing of voices.During the night I got up by chance and went to the corridor to drink water once.A person fell asleep on the bench, and I recognized it immediately. It was Wang Yaming.Two black hands covered her face, half of the quilt fell on the floor, and half hung over her feet.I figured she must be reading again at night by the hall light, but there were no books beside her, and her bundles and odds and ends were lying around her on the floor. On the second night, the principal walked in front of Wang Yaming, snorting as she walked, she was wearing the bed, and she pushed the rows of flat white sheets with her thin hands: "here, here is a row Seven beds can only sleep eight people, and six beds can sleep nine people!" She turned the quilt and spread it out a bit, letting Wang Yaming clamp the quilt here. Wang Yaming's quilt was unfolded, and for the sake of happiness, she made the bed while she seemed to be whistling. I've never heard of this before. In girls' schools, no one whistled with their mouths. She had already made the bed, she sat on the bed with her mouth open, and raised her jaw slightly forward, as if peace and comfort were suppressing her.The headmaster had gone downstairs, or had left the dormitory, and went home.However, the old lady of the dormitory supervisor wiped her shoes on the floor and her hair completely lost its luster. She ran around: "I said, this is not okay... I don't pay attention to hygiene, and there are insects on my body. Who cares?" Don’t you want to avoid her?” She took a few more steps into the corner, and I saw her white eyeballs seemed to be looking at me: “Look at this quilt! Go and sniff it! It’s even two feet away. It smells... Sleeping next to her is not funny! Who knows... wouldn't insects crawl all over her body? Go and see how black the cotton is!" The dormitory supervisor often talked about her own affairs. When her husband was studying in Japan, she was also in Japan, which can be regarded as studying abroad.The classmates asked her: "What did you learn?" "You don't need to learn anything! Speaking Japanese and watching Japanese customs in Japan, isn't this also studying abroad?" She always talks about "unhygienic, funny or not...dirty", she calls lice, especially insects. "People are filthy and their hands are filthy." Her shoulders were very broad, and she deliberately raised her shoulders when she was talking about being dirty, as if a cold wind had suddenly blown her, and she ran out. "Students like this, I think the headmaster is really... really unnecessary..." After the lights were turned off, the dormitory supervisor was still talking with some other students in the corridor. On the night of the third day, Wang Yaming was carrying the burden and rolled up the luggage again, and the principal with a white face was walking in front of him. "We don't want it, we have enough people!" Before the headmaster's fingernails touched their quilts, they yelled, and they yelled after changing a row of beds: "We have enough people! There are more! Six beds, nine people, Can I add more?" "One, two, three, four..." The principal began to count: "Not enough, we can add another one, four beds, there should be six people, you only have five people... come! Wang Yaming!" "No, it's for my sister, she will come tomorrow..." The classmate ran over and held the quilt down with his hand. Finally, the principal took her to another dormitory. "She has lice, I don't touch her..." "I'm not next to her..." "Wang Yaming's quilt is not covered, and the cotton is sleeping against his body. If you don't believe me, the principal has a look!" Later they joked and even said that they were afraid of Wang Yaming's black hands and dared not approach her. From then on, the black-handed man slept on the bench in the aisle.When I got up early, I met her rolling her luggage and carrying it downstairs.I also sometimes meet her in the basement storage room, it is of course at night, so when she talks to me, I always look at the shadow on the wall, her hand scratching her hair, the shadow printed on the wall also matches the hair same color. "I'm used to it. I sleep on the chair, even on the floor. Where I sleep, I sleep. Whatever it is! Studying is important... My English, I wonder how many marks Mr. Ma can give me in the exam? Not enough Sixty points, do you want to repeat the grade at the end of the year?" "It doesn't matter, you can't repeat a class." I said. "Dad said it! After three years of graduation, he will not be able to pay for my tuition for another six months... I really can't turn my tongue around this English. Drink..." The whole dormitory is sick of her, even though she lives in the hallway.Because she was always coughing at night... and in the dormitory she started dyeing her socks and blouse with paint. "The clothes are old, dyed and dyed are almost the same as new ones. For example, summer uniforms can be worn as autumn uniforms if they are dyed gray... For example, buy white socks and dye them black, it's all right..." "Why don't you buy black socks?" I asked her. "Black socks, they are dyed by machine, too much vitriol...not strong, they will be torn as soon as they are worn...It's better to dye them at home...A pair of socks cost a few cents...if they are torn, they will be torn. ?” On Saturday night, the students cooked chicken in a small iron pot.Almost always like this every Saturday, they have to cook something to eat.I also saw that the chicken cooked in a small iron pot was black, and I thought it was poisoned.The classmate with the chicken almost dropped his glasses with a snarl: "Who did this good thing! Who? Who is this?" Wang Yaming turned her face towards them and came to the kitchen. She crowded the others and drank: "It's me, I don't know if this pot is still used, I used it to cook two pairs of socks... drink... I'll go... ..." "What are you going to do? You go..." "I'm going to wash it!" "The pot that dyed stinky socks can still cook chickens! Do you want it?" The iron pot was jumping on the floor in front of everyone, and the people roared. The students wearing glasses threw the black chickens like throwing stones. It seemed to be thrown on the ground forcefully. When everyone dispersed, Wang Yaming picked up the chickens on the floor while talking to himself: "Hey! Two pairs of new socks have been dyed, so I don't want the iron pot! Why do the new socks stink?" In winter, on snowy nights, when we set off from the school to the dormitory, the small streets we passed were completely covered by snowflakes.We rushed forward and rushed forward. If there was a strong wind, we would spin in the wind and snow, walk backwards, or walk sideways.Early in the morning, as usual, we had to leave the dormitory again. In December, everyone's feet were frozen to the ground, even if they were running, they would still be frozen.So we cursed and resented, and even some students were already cursing, calling the principal a "bastard", that the dormitory should not be so far away from the school, and students should not be allowed to leave the dormitory before dawn. Some days, I met Wang Yaming alone on the road.The distant sky and the distant snow are shining, and the moon makes me and her step on the shadow.There are no pedestrians in the streets or streets.The wind was blowing on the branches beside the road, and from time to time I heard the glass windows beside the road moaning as they were hit by snow.The voice of my conversation with her also hardened in response to the sub-zero temperature.When our lips felt as stiff as our legs, we always stopped talking and only listened to the rustling of the snow under our feet.His hand was ringing the doorbell, and his legs seemed to be about to fall off by themselves, and his knees moved forward every now and then, as if he was about to kneel down. I can't remember which morning, I walked out of the dormitory with a novel I hadn't read under my arm. I turned around and pulled the gate tightly.But there is always some fear in my heart. The more I look at the blurred houses in the distance, and the more I hear the snow blowing behind me, the more scared I become.The starlight is so small that the moon may have set, or may be obscured by gray and earth-colored clouds. After walking a distance of one zhang, it seems like it has increased by another zhang. I hope that a passerby will appear, but I am afraid of the passerby, because on a moonless night, I can only hear voices but see no one. The figure seemed to grow suddenly from the ground. I stepped on the stone steps in front of the school, my heart was still hot, and my hand that was ringing the bell seemed to have lost its strength.Suddenly another person came up the stone steps: "Who? Who?" "I am me." "Are you walking right behind me?" For I heard no other footsteps along the way, which made me more frightened. "No, I didn't walk behind you. I've been here for a long time. The school officer won't open the door. I don't know how long it took me to say hello." "Did you not ring the bell?" "It's useless to ring the bell, drink and drink, the school clerk turned on the light, came to the door, looked out through the glass... But in the end he wouldn't open it. " The light inside was turned on, and the door was swung open as if cursing: "The door is called at midnight... Isn't it the same as taking the memorization test?" "What are you doing? What did you say?" Before I could say this, the school officer changed his attitude: "Mr. Xiao, have you been calling for a long time?" Wang Yaming and I went all the way into the basement. She was coughing, and her face was so pale that she almost wrinkled and trembled for a while.The tears that were blown by the wind were still on her face, so she opened the textbook. "Why didn't the janitor open the door for you?" I asked. "Who knows? He said it was too early to let me go back, and later he said the principal's order." "How long have you been waiting?" "It's not too much work, just wait a while, just wait a while, a meal like this. Drink..." The way she reads is completely different from when she first came here, her throat seems to be narrowing gradually, she just mutters, and the shaking shoulders on both sides are also obviously tightened and narrow, her back is arched, but her chest is flat go down. I read the novel with a very small voice, fearing to disturb her; but this is the first time, I don't know why this is only the first time? She asked me what novels I read, did I read it?Sometimes she also took it in her hand to look at the writing, or flipped through the pages. "How clever you are! You don't even look at your homework, and you don't have to be afraid of the exam. I can't do it. I want to take a break and read other books...but that won't work..." One Sunday, the dormitory was empty, and I read aloud the passage in "The Slaughterhouse" where the female worker Mary passed out on the snow. I read it while looking at the snow outside the window, and felt very moved. Wang Yaming was standing behind me, I had no idea. "If you have any books you have read, lend me one too. It's snowing, it's really boring, and there are no relatives in the local area, and there is nothing to buy in the street, and it will cost a car..." "Has your father not seen you for a long time?" I thought she was homesick. "How can I come! The train fare is more than two yuan for a round trip... Besides, there is no one at home..." I put "The Slaughterhouse" in her hand because I've already read it. She laughed, "drinking", she shook the edge of the bed twice, and she began to study the cover of the book. When she went out, I heard her reading the first sentence of the book very loudly in the aisle, following my example. Afterwards, I don't remember which day it was, maybe it was another holiday, anyway, the dormitory was empty, and until the moon had already shone on the windows, the whole dormitory was still left in silence.I heard a rustling sound on the bedside, as if someone was groping around my bedside. I looked up, and under the moonlight I saw Wang Yaming's black hand, and put the book I lent her on the back of the bed. next to me. I asked her, "Is it fun to watch? Okay?" At first, she didn't answer me, but later she covered her face with her hands, her hair seemed to be trembling, and she said, "Okay." I heard her voice also seemed to be trembling, so I sat up.But she ran away, with her hair-colored hand across her face. The corridor of the aisle was empty, and I looked at the pattern of the floor sunk in the moonlight. "Mary, it's really like this person. She fell on the snow. I don't think she's dead! She won't die... The doctor knew she had no money, so he didn't treat her...Drink!" She laughed in a very loud voice, and the tears rolled down through the laughter: "I also went to ask for a doctor. When my mother was sick, did you see the doctor come? He first asked me for the money for the carriage, and I He said that the money is at home, so let’s come by car first! If the person is dying... Do you see him coming? He stood in the middle of the courtyard and asked me: "What is your house for? Do you have a dye tank room in your home? 'I don't know why, as soon as I told him that he was in the 'dye vat room', he opened the door and entered the room... I waited for him, but he didn't come out, so I knocked on the door again, and he said inside the door: "I can't see it." This disease, you go back!' I'm back..." She wiped her eyes again before continuing, "I've been taking care of my two younger brothers and two younger sisters since then. My father's black one and my sister's black one, and my sister's black one. The red one... the year my sister got engaged, last winter, her mother-in-law came to live in our house from the countryside, and when she saw her sister, she said, "Oh!That murderous hand! ' From then on, Dad said that it is not allowed for a certain person to only dye red; a certain person is only allowed to dye blue.My hands are black, with a little purple on closer inspection, and the two younger sisters are the same as me. " "Your sister doesn't study?" "No, I will teach them in the future, but I don't know if I can read well. If I can't read well, even my sister will be sorry... It costs only 30 cents to dye a piece of cloth... How many pieces of cloth can I dye a month? Clothes cost 10 cents each, and regardless of their size, most of the clothes sent for dyeing are big clothes... Get rid of the money for matches, get rid of the money for paint... Isn't that right! My tuition... I give them all the money they spend on eating salt at home I brought it... How can I not study hard, how can I? "She went to touch the book again. I still look at the pattern on the floor, and I think her tears are more noble than my sympathy. Before the winter vacation, Wang Yaming sorted out her suitcases and odds and ends one morning. Her luggage was already tightly packed and stood at the base of the wall. No one said goodbye to her, and no one said goodbye to her.We set out from the dormitory and passed by the bench where Wang Yaming slept at night one by one. She smiled at each of us and seemed to be looking into the distance from the window at the same time.We made a heavy noise in the aisle, we went down the stairs, passed the courtyard, and at the gate of the fence, Wang Yaming also arrived, panting and opening his mouth: "My father hasn't come yet, one more hour is one o'clock." Zhong..." She acted like she was talking to everyone. Every hour of this last made her sweat, and in English class she was busy writing down all the new words on the blackboard in a booklet.At the same time, she was reading, and at the same time, she even memorized the familiar words that the teacher wrote down, which was unnecessary. It was also drawn on the pamphlet... It seemed that all the thoughts that passed through her on this last day became important and had to leave a trace. When get out of class was over, I read her brochure, and my memory was completely wrong: some of the English letters fell off, and some she added an extra... She was already flustered. At night, her father didn't come to pick her up either, and she spread out the quilt on the bench again, only this time, she went to bed so early, sleeping more peacefully than usual.The hair is close to the side of the quilt, and the shoulders relax a little with the breath.Today she is not surrounded by books. In the morning, when the sun was setting on the trembling snow-covered branches, her father came just as the birds were just emerging from their nests.Stopping at the entrance of the stairs, he put down the big felt boots on his shoulders, and used the white towel around his neck to snatch the icicles from his beard: "Did you fail the ranking? You..." The icicles melted into pieces on the stairs. Little drops of water. "No, I haven't taken the exam yet. The principal told me that I don't need to take the exam, and I can't pass..." Her father was standing at the foot of the stairs, his face turned to the wall, and the white handkerchief hanging around his waist remained motionless. The luggage was dragged to the stairs, and Wang Yaming went to carry the suitcase, holding the washbasin and some odds and ends, and she returned the big gloves to her father. "I don't want it, you can wear it!" Her father's felt boots pressed a few mud circles on the floor as soon as they moved. Because it was morning, there were very few students who came to watch.Wang Yaming put on his gloves with a slight laugh. "Put on the felt boots! If you haven't read well, don't lose your feet from the cold." Her father untied the leather straps connecting the two boots. The boots covered her knees, and like a carriage driver, her head was wrapped in white velvet. "Come again, take the book home and read it carefully before coming back. Drink... drink." I don't know who she is talking to. When she picked up her suitcase again, she asked her father, "Is the carriage called just outside the door?" "Carriage, what kind of carriage, let's go to the station...I'm carrying luggage..." Wang Yaming's felt boots flapped on the stairs.Father walked in front, holding the two corners of the luggage with his color-changing hands. The long shadow dragged by the rising sun danced and climbed up the wooden gate in front of people.From the window, people seem to be as frivolous as shadows. You can only see them, but you can't hear a sound about them. After leaving the wooden gate, they walked towards the distance, towards the direction of the sun. The snow was like broken glass, and the further away the light became, the stronger it became.I kept seeing that far away snowfield that hurt my eyes. March 1936 (Originally published in "The Writer", Volume 1, No. 1, April 15, 1936)