Chapter 52 Twins and the Sunken Land

After breaking up with the twins, about six months or so later, I saw pictures of the two of them in magazines. The twins in the photo are not wearing the cheap T-shirts with the numbers "208" and "209" that I used to wear when I lived with them, and they are very fashionable.One was wearing a hand-knitted dress, the other was wearing something like a smart cotton jacket, her hair was much longer than before, and a layer of light eyeshadow was painted around her eyes. However, I recognized the pair of twins at a glance. Although one was looking back, the other could only see the side, but the moment I opened this page, I could see that it was the twins. twin.Just like a record that I have listened to hundreds of times, as soon as I hear the first note, I can understand everything immediately.I'm pretty sure it's the twins in the picture.The photo was taken in a disco recently opened near Roppongi. The magazine used six pages to create a special feature called "Tokyo Customs Frontline". The first page of this special feature published the pair Photos of the twins.

Using a camera with a wide-angle lens, the expansive store setting is captured from a slightly above position, so that if the venue is not stated to be a disco, one might mistake it for a cleverly designed greenhouse or aquarium.Because the design of the ballroom is all made of glass, except for the floor and ceiling, the tables, walls and decorations are all made of glass, and there are huge pots of foliage plants everywhere.The sight of people drinking cocktails and dancing in countless areas separated by glass reminds me of fine and transparent mannequins, each part has its own principles and can be properly integrated. to play its own unique functions.

At the right end of the photo is a huge egg-shaped glass table where the twins sit.In front of them were two large glasses of tropical juice and several plates of light meals.One of the twins hooked her hands on the back of the chair, turned her body to the back, and looked intently at the dancing area outside the glass wall, while the other was talking to the man sitting next to her.If it weren't for the twins, it would have been a very ordinary photo of two women and a man drinking and having fun in a disco called The Glass House. ". I will see this magazine also by chance, in order to discuss work matters with people, and meet in a coffee shop.Because there was still some time before the invitation, I went to the magazine shelf in the store and took out a magazine to read, flipping through it casually, otherwise I would not deliberately read an old magazine from a month ago.

Under the color photo of the twins, there is a very detailed text description.The caption reads: "Glass House" plays the most popular music in Tokyo at present. It is a discotheque where cutting-edge and fashionable people gather.As the name of the store indicates, the store is all partitioned by glass walls, which looks like a glass maze; a variety of cocktails are served here, and the acoustics are also handled with great care. At the entrance, everyone is checked. Whether the entrants are "neatly dressed", groups of all men are not allowed to enter. I ordered a second cup of coffee from the waiter and asked her if I could tear off this page and take it home.She said that now that the person in charge is away, she can't make the decision, but even if it is torn off, no one will find out.So I used a plastic menu, tore off the page neatly, folded it in four and put it in my clothes pocket.

When I returned to the office, I saw that the door was open, and there was no one inside. The books and documents on the desk were piled up in a mess, and there were many dirty glasses and plates in the sink, which had not been cleaned. Filled with cigarette butts.Because the girl in the office has a cold, she has not been at work for three days. The office, which was spotlessly clean three days ago, is now as messy as a high school basketball team's dormitory. I used a teapot to boil some water, washed a teacup, and made a cup of instant coffee. Since I couldn't find a spoon, I had to use a cleaner ballpoint pen to stir.Although it is definitely not very delicious, but at least it is much better than drinking plain water.

I sat at the corner of the table and drank coffee by myself.The girl who worked at the dental registration counter next door peeked at me from the door.It was a long-haired, petite girl, very pretty. When I saw her for the first time, I thought she might be of Jamaican descent, or some country nearby, because her skin was so dark that I had talked to her. It was only later that I realized that it was from a dairy farming family in Hokkaido.Why her skin is so dark, she herself does not know.However, no matter what, such dark skin looked particularly eye-catching when wearing white work clothes.

She is the same age as the girls who work in my office, and she often comes here to play when she is free. The two of them chat together. When our younger sister is on vacation, she will also help answer the phone and send important Things left a message. As soon as the phone rang, she rushed over from the next door to answer the phone.Therefore, although there is no one in our office, the door is always open, because there is no need to worry about thieves or robbers coming in. "Mr. Watanabe said he went out to buy some medicine!" "she says. Noboru Watanabe was my partner, and he and I were running a small translation firm at the time.

"Buy medicine? 』 I asked a little surprised. "What medicine? 』 "His wife's medicine.It seems that I have a bad stomach, and I want to buy a special Chinese medicine prescription, so I have to go to the Chinese medicine store in Gotanda.Maybe it will be late to buy, so I will go back first. 』 "Ok! "I say. "Also, I had a lot of phone calls while you were away, and I left them on the note. 』 As she spoke, she pointed to the white paper under the phone. "Thank you! "I say. "You have really helped us a lot! 』 "Our doctor said why don't you buy an answering machine? 』

"I don't like that thing. "I say. "There's nothing humanly warm about it. 』 "That's a matter of course!Running up and down this hallway also keeps me warm. 』 After she left with a Garfield grin, I picked up the notes and made the necessary calls. Specify the delivery time of the printing factory, discuss the content with the part-time translator, and ask an agency to repair the photocopier. Once those calls were over, there wasn't much left for me to do.There is no choice but to clean the tableware left in the sink, empty the cigarette butts in the ashtray, adjust the clock that has stopped, tear up the calendar to today, put all the pencils scattered on the table into the pencil case, and keep the documents still Keep items organized and put your nail clippers in the drawer.After some tidying up, this room finally looks a bit like a human workplace.

I sat on the corner of the table, looked around, and couldn't help but say: "Not bad! 』 Outside the window is a gray sky in April 1974. The clouds are flat, without any space for shimmering. It seems that the whole sky is shrouded in a gray cover.The dim light near dusk floated slowly through the air like dust in the water. The sky, the street, and this room all seemed to be painted the same damp, somber gray, with nothing that seemed more prominent. I boiled water and made another cup of coffee, this time finding a clean spoon to stir.Press the power of the record player, and Bach's music will stream from the small loudspeaker installed in the ceiling.Amplifiers, record players, and cassettes were all brought from Noboru Watanabe's home.

Not bad!This time I didn't say it out loud.The weather in April is neither hot nor cold, which is suitable for listening to Bach's music in this cloudy evening. Then I sat on the chair, took out the photo of the twins from my jacket pocket, and put it on the table. See more details.Although it is useless to do so, I don't know what to do now, so I have to look at this photo for entertainment. Which of the twins is chatting with the man next to me is a question I'll never be able to figure out.However, from the slightly upward arc of the corner of her mouth, it can be seen that she seems to be smiling.Her left wrists rested on the glass table, indeed the twins' wrists, smooth and slender, and without any watch or ring. On the contrary, the man she was talking to looked a bit gloomy. He was a thin, tall, rather handsome man.Wearing a stylish dark blue shirt, with thin silver hands on the wrist of his right hand.He put his hands on the table and stared at the long and thin glass in front of him, as if the existence of that glass of drink had an important impact on his life. In the ashtray beside the glass, there were countless white cigarette butts. The twins look a lot thinner than when they lived in my apartment, but I don't know exactly how, maybe it's because of the angle of the photo, or the lighting! I drank the rest of the coffee in one gulp, found a cigarette from the drawer, lit it, and took a slow puff.Then I wondered why the twins went to a disco in Roppongi to drink? The twins I've known wouldn't go to a kitschy disco, and certainly wouldn't wear eyeshadow around their eyes.Where exactly do they live now?What kind of life do you live?And, who is this man? The ballpoint pen in my hand kept spinning back and forth, and I stared at the picture with wide eyes. The final conclusion is: This man may be the current host of the twins! As they had done with me before, they found an opportunity to enter this man's life and learn the truth of it all from the smiles on the lips of the twins who were talking to him.Her smile looks like rain falling on the grassland, and I am all too familiar with it.They have found new support. The situation that I lived with them two people is still deeply imprinted in my mind. From the places they set foot, they may be like a flowing cloud, which will keep changing shape, but they exist inside them. I am quite sure of the countless features that have remained unchanged. They still love to eat coffee cream biscuits, like to take leisurely walks, and often squat outside the bathtub in the bathhouse to take a bath. These are the twins that remain in my heart. Although I looked at the photos, it was incredible that I didn't have the slightest feeling of jealousy towards that man, even if it was a similar feeling.I just think it's a real situation, and to me that's It is already a fragmentary scene that happened in a different era and in a different world.Now that I have lost these twins, no matter how hard I try and how much I miss them, it is irreparable. The only thing that makes me dissatisfied is the displeasure on the man's face. He should have no reason to be unhappy.You have twins and I don't; I lost twins and you haven't lost them yet.Maybe one day you will lose them, but you don't think it will happen to you at all.Maybe you are feeling confused right now, as everyone feels like confused all the time; but the confusion you are experiencing now is not the fatal kind of confusion, as you will know someday. However, no matter what I think now, I can't let him know.Because they lived in a very far time and a world far away from me.They seemed like a floating continent, slowly advancing towards a dark universe of which I knew nothing. At five o'clock, Watanabe Noboru hadn't come back yet, so I wrote down the matters that needed to be contacted on a piece of paper and put it on his desk. At this time, the lady at the counter at the dental office next door came over again and asked if I could use the bathroom. "Please feel free to borrow anything, please do it yourself. 』 "The light in our bathroom is out. 』 As she spoke, she carried the chemical box into the bathroom, combed her hair in front of the mirror, and put on lipstick.Because the bathroom door was always open, so I sat at the corner of the table and kept looking at her back. After taking off the white uniform, her legs were even more beautiful, and a pair of well-proportioned legs were exposed under the short aqua blue wool skirt. "What are you looking at? 』 While arranging her lipstick with a tissue, she looked in the mirror and asked. "foot. "I say. "looks good? 』 "It's not ugly. 』 I answer honestly. She smiled brightly, put the lipstick in the bag, walked out of the bathroom, and closed the door.Then put a light blue scarf on the white shirt.The scarf looks as light as a cloud. I put my hands in the pockets of my jacket and stared at her for a long time again. "Are you still watching?Or what is on your mind? ' she asked. "I was thinking how nice this scarf is! "I say. "yes!Very expensive! "she says. "But it wasn't that expensive when I bought it, because I used to work as a salesperson in a boutique, so I could buy it at the employee price. 』 『Why did you quit your job at a boutique and work in dentistry? 』 "The salary is too low, and I often look at beautiful clothes and can't help but want to buy them. I spend too much money, so I thought it would be better to work in the dentistry."Although the salary is not high, at least it is free to see the teeth. 』 "I see. "I say. "However, I think your dress taste is not bad! "she says. "I? 』 I looked at my clothes and said. I never waste energy choosing the right clothes before I go out every morning. The gray cotton trousers I bought in college, the blue sneakers that haven't been washed in three months, plus the white polo shirt and green top, these are all I have. assembly.The polo shirt was new, but because my hands were constantly stuck in the pockets, it deformed the top. "I feel terrible! 』 "However, it fits you very well. 』 "It's just a fit, it can't be called tasteful!" 』 I said with a smile. "If you buy a new coat, will it make you stop putting your hands in your pockets?"That should be considered a problem!All in all, that often deforms the top. 』 "It's already deformed! "I say. "If you're off work, can we walk to the station and get a ride together?" 』 "OK! "she says. "You won't make fun of me? 』 "I don't think so. 』 "We have a goat at home. "she says. "goat? 』 I asked her again in surprise. "Don't you know what a goat is? 』 "I know! 』 "Because it is a very smart goat, our whole family loves it very much. 』 "The cry of the goat! 』 I agreed. 『Besides, I am the sixth child among the six sisters, so everyone thinks it doesn’t matter what my name is. 』 I nod. "But it's easy to remember!The cry of the goat. 』 "That's right! "I say. When I got to the station, I asked her for my home phone number and invited her to dinner, but she said that she already had an appointment with her fiancé. "Then next time!" "I say. "Great! ”May Kasahara said. Then we broke up. When I watched her big blue scarf draped over her shoulders disappear into the crowd rushing home from get off work, I guessed that she would never come back again, so I put my hands in the pockets of my coat and looked towards her. Go in the right direction. After May Kasahara left, my body seemed to be completely enveloped in a gray cloud again. When I looked up, the cloud was still hanging in the sky, the hazy gray mixed with the blue of the night. , you will not see that there are really clouds in that place, but you will feel as if there is a huge blind monster in the sky, covering all the brilliance of the moon and stars. As if walking on the bottom of the sea, the front, back, left and right look exactly the same, and the body is not used to the air pressure and breathing method. A person really has no appetite, doesn't want to eat anything, let alone go back to the place where he lives, but there is no place to go.I had no choice but to wander on the road. Sometimes I stand in front of the cinema and look at the billboard introducing the movie, sometimes I look at the display in the window of the musical instrument store, and most of the time I look at the passersby I pass by.More than a thousand people appeared and disappeared before my eyes, and it seemed to me that they were moving from one frontier of consciousness to another. The street is still the same as it used to be, without the slightest change, the night is like a bottle of ink that can never be used up, pouring in the middle of the street continuously, making the whole street full of night.Walking on the street at night, the noise of the crowd, the street lights, the smell, and the excitement seem to not exist in real life. These seem to be far away from me yesterday, the day before yesterday, last week, or last month went. How long and how far I walked, I don't know myself.I only know that thousands of people passed me by, and according to my guess, after another seventy or eighty years, all these thousands of people will disappear from this world.Seventy or eighty years is not really a very long time. Even just watching the people coming and going still makes me very tired.Maybe I was looking for the twins in the crowd, but other than that, I had no reason to stand on the street and watch the people coming and going.Almost without realizing it, I walked down a deserted side street into a small bar where I often drank alone.Then I sat at the counter and ordered whiskey with ice cubes and the cheese sandwich that I never got tired of eating.There are almost no customers in the store. After a long time, I have become very familiar with the smell of wood and paint. The loudspeaker on the ceiling streams the sound of jazz piano that was popular decades ago. The sound of ice cubes hitting the glass wall was mixed together. I feel as if it will all disappear.What will disappear will continue to pass away, and what has been damaged no one can restore.The earth is constantly revolving around the sun for this reason. I think the most important thing is whether the ending is true or not.The earth revolves around the sun, the moon revolves around the earth, this pattern is an unchangeable fact. If I assume this is my own doing and I suddenly run into these twins somewhere, then what am I supposed to do next? Should I say to them: Come back and live with me? However, I know very well that such a proposal is meaningless, pointless, and impossible.They have passed me by. And, assuming that this is the second hypothetical I've made, the twins agree to come back to me; although I think it's absolutely impossible, I'm only hypothesizing, what will happen? I took a big bite out of the sandwich and took a big sip of the beer. Pointless!I think. Maybe they will live in my apartment for weeks, months, years, but one day they will disappear after all, and like last time, without a word, just like a gust of wind blowing away , missing. Therefore, keeping them is just to repeat what has already happened, and it doesn't make any sense. This is the truth, and I have to accept a world without twins. I wiped up the dripping water on the counter with a paper towel, pulled the photo of the twins out of my jacket pocket, and sipped my second cup of coffee wondering what the hell one of the twins was with the young man next to her. Say something?Staring at the picture all the time, I felt as if I saw her blowing air into the man's ear in a trance. Although I can't tell from the photos whether this man understands this situation, but according to my guess, he should not have noticed it at all, just like I didn't feel anything at the time. I thought maybe I should burn this photo, but I knew I would not be able to burn it; if I had the ability to burn it, I shouldn't have walked into this alley in the first place. I drank my second glass of whiskey, picked up my notepad and change, went to the pink phone, dialed a number, but after four rings, I put the phone back on the phone, holding it in my hand. I stared at the phone with my notepad for a long time, unable to recall any good memories, so I went back to the counter and ordered a third whiskey. As a result, I stopped thinking about anything, because whatever I thought about, I couldn't find a proper channel to follow in the end, and I kept my mind blank.In this void, I downed several more glasses of whiskey.The music blaring from the overhead speakers was very pleasant. Although at this time I have an urge to hug a woman, but I don't know who to hug.Although anyone is fine, but I have to think of a specific person, but I can't think of one at all. I feel a wave of despair in my heart. Even if I searched the phone numbers on the notepad, I couldn't find a suitable one. Candidates. I sighed, and drank down the glass of wine I don't know which glass it was.After paying the bill, walking out of the store, and standing at the traffic lights, I thought to myself, 'What's next? 』What am I going to do in five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen minutes?Where should I go?what to doWhere do you want to go? However, I couldn't answer a single question. "I keep dreaming the same thing! 』 I closed my eyes and said to the woman. After closing my eyes for a long time, I felt as if I had lost my delicate balance and was floating in an unstable space.Maybe it's because of sleeping naked on this soft bed!Otherwise, it was because of the strong smell of perfume worn by this woman. This smell was like small insects with wings, burrowing into the darkest depths of my body, causing my cells to expand and shrink. "The time of dreaming this dream is also roughly the same, around four or five o'clock in the morning before dawn.I often woke up sweating all over from fright, and looked around in darkness.However, it shouldn't be that dark all around during that time.Of course there will not be exactly the same dream, some subtle parts are often different sometimes, the situation is different, the characters are different, but the basic pattern is the same, the main characters are the same, and the ending is exactly the same.Seems like a low budget movie from the same series. 』 "I also often have dreams that I don't like. 』 As she spoke, she lit a cigarette with a lighter. I heard the lighter go off, and I smelled the cigarettes, and then I heard the palm of my hand tap something two or three times. "This morning I dreamed again of a glass mansion. 』 Without giving her any opportunity to speak, I went on: "This is a very tall building, built at the west exit of Shinjuku, and the walls are all made of glass. In my dream, I stumbled upon this building while walking on the road.However, the building is not fully completed, and a small part of the project is still in progress.Inside the glass walls, people are busy working. Although the interior of the building has been completed, there is a mess everywhere. 』 The woman exhaled, sounding like the wind was blowing through the crack of the door, and then coughed a few more times.Say: "Hey!I want to ask you a few questions, can I? 』 "It's best not to ask too boring questions, you just have to listen to me quietly all the time. "I say. "Ok. "she says. "Because I had a lot of free time, I stood quietly in front of the big glass and watched the homework in the building.In the room I peered into, workers in hats were moving beautiful bricks for decoration.Although he was working with his back to me, I couldn't see his face, but from the figure, it should be a young man, tall and thin, and there was only this boy there, no one else. The air in the dream was very turbid, as if something was burning, and there was smoke everywhere.It was a blurry white turbidity, so it was impossible to see the distant scene very clearly, but after looking at it for a while, the air became a little bit more transparent.Whether it's really transparent, or my eyes are used to this opacity, I don't know why.However, in any case, I can see every corner of the room more clearly than before.Like a robot, the young boy has been using the same movements to pile up bricks one by one. Although the room is very wide, but because his movements are very fast, in about one or two hours, he Just finished all the work. 』 Having said that, I took a break, poured my beer into a glass next to my pillow, and downed it. The woman stared at me wide-eyed to show that she had been listening to me intently. "There was originally a wall behind the bricks and tiles that the man had piled up, and it was a concrete wall that was different from the rest of the building.In other words, the man is creating a decorative wall in front of the original wall.I mean do you understand? 』 "Understood!It is to build a double wall! 』 "yes. ’ I said, ‘It’s to build a double wall.But after careful observation, it was found that there was a distance of nearly forty centimeters between the two walls.Why this space was left on purpose is not clear to me, and besides, the room becomes much smaller than before.While I was feeling incredible, I watched him work with wide eyes, when I suddenly found a figure in it, just like developing a photo, the figure in the photo will slowly emerge.This figure is sandwiched between the old and new walls. 』 『And, those are twins. 』 I continued. "A pair of young twins, maybe nineteen, twenty, or twenty-one, both in my clothes.One was wearing a white polo shirt and one was wearing a green top, both of which were mine.Although the two of them hid in the gap of about forty centimeters, they didn't feel unfree at all, as if they didn't feel that they were in the wall, and the two of them were still chatting in different places.The workers didn't seem to be aware of the existence of the twins, just quietly stacking bricks.It's as if I'm the only one who discovered this. 』 "Why do you know the workers didn't notice the twins? ’ the woman asked. "I just know it! "I say. "There are many things that can be known naturally in a dream, so I think it is necessary to stop his work.I clenched my fists and slammed on the glass wall until my hands became numb, but no matter how hard I tried, there was no sound at all, so the workers couldn't receive my message at all.He was still mechanically stacking the bricks at the same speed, and the bricks were slowly stacking up to the twins' laps. Therefore, I gave up the idea of ​​knocking on the glass, and prepared to enter the building and prevent his work.However, I couldn't find the entrance to the building. Although it is a very tall building, I couldn't find an entrance.I exhausted all my strength and circled around the building a few times, but the result was the same. The building was like a big goldfish bowl, and I couldn't find half the entrance. 』 I took another sip of beer and moistened my throat, but the woman was still looking at me intently.She turned her body so that her breasts were pressed against my wrists. "Then what shall we do? ' she asked. "There is no way at all. "I say. "There's really nothing I can do. I can't find the entrance, and I can't make a sound. I can only put my hands on the glass wall and watch the movement in the room intently.Gradually the wall rose until it reached the twins' waists, chests, and soon covered them all, and then up to the ceiling.It's just something that happens in a flash, and I can't do anything but watch.The worker finished installing the last brick, packed his luggage, and disappeared somewhere. In the end, it was just me and this glass wall! I really can't do anything about it. 』 The woman reached out and played with my hair. "I keep having the same dream! "I say. "There are minor changes, settings and characters, but the result is exactly the same.There's a glass wall, and I can't communicate myself to anyone in it, it's always been that way.Whenever I wake up, I still have the cold feeling of touching the glass in the palm of my hand, and this feeling will last for several days. 』 As soon as I finished speaking, she kept running her fingers through my hair. "You must be feeling tired! "she says. "I'm often like this too, whenever I feel tired, I'll dream about something that I hate.However, this may have nothing to do with real life, just physical or mental fatigue. 』 I nod. Then she took my hand and touched her pussy. It was hot and wet, but it didn't arouse my desire, it just made me feel a little weird. Then I told her that I was very grateful to her for listening to me about the dream, and gave her some money. "Just listening to you, no need to pay. "she says. "I want to pay! "I say. She nodded, took the money, and put it into her black leather bag. When the bag was closed, it made a very crisp sound, as if my dream was thrown into the bag along with the money. She got out of bed, put on underwear and stockings, then put on a shirt, skirt, and sweater, and stood in front of the mirror to comb her hair.Every woman looks the same when standing in front of a mirror and brushing her hair. I was naked and leaned up on the bed, looking vaguely at the back of the woman. "I think it's just a dream, don't take it too seriously. 』 The woman said before going out, and when she turned the doorknob, she said thoughtfully: "You care so much about it, but it doesn't mean anything at all!" 』 I nod.She went out, and then heard a door slam. After the figure of the woman disappeared, I lay on my back on the bed and kept staring at the ceiling of the room.This is a cheap hotel that can be found everywhere, a cheap ceiling that can be seen everywhere. Through the gaps in the windows, street lamps can be seen in wet hues, and sometimes strong winds knock the frozen November raindrops on the glass windows at will.I reached for my watch next to my pillow, but decided to give it up because it was too much trouble.What time it is now is not the key to the problem. What worries me most is the issue of not bringing an umbrella. While looking at the ceiling, I thought about the legend of the ancient land that sank into the sea.I don't know why I thought of this incident, probably because I didn't bring an umbrella on a cold rainy night in November!Or maybe it's because I used cold hands to hug the body of an unknown woman, and I can't remember what that body looked like!The light was dim and misty, voices came in through the cracks in the windows, and the air was heavy and damp. How many years had it been since I lost that desire? I can't remember the lost years, maybe it was lost before I lost my twins!Because I remember how it felt to be the twins who let me know.What we are sure of about the lost is not the exact time of the loss, but the time at which it was discovered. well!never mind!Let's count from then on! Three years! Three years have sent me into this cold and rainy November night. However, maybe I have become a little familiar with this new world, maybe it just took a little longer to stuff me into the fault of the universe.However, the assimilation ability of human beings is extremely strong. Even if it is a vivid dream, it will still be swallowed up in the indistinct reality, and then gradually eliminated. Maybe one day I won't be able to remember exactly what era this dream existed in. I turned off the light next to the pillow, closed my eyes, and slowly straightened my body on the bed, and then let my consciousness sink into a dreamless sleep. The heavy rain hit the window panes, washing the mountains forgotten by the dark ocean currents. . (end)