Chapter 24 § Women of the Republic of China§ "Women of the Republic of China"

"Republic of China Women" (one) I had nothing to do in Nanjing before, and I didn't read much books, newspapers and magazines.On this day, Feng Heyi sent Tiandi Monthly Come on, I thought Heyi's name was good, so I moved a rattan chair on the grass in the yard, and lay down in the sun and read a book.First Looking at the introductory remarks, it turned out that Feng Heyi was also called Su Qing, and it was difficult for her to write so generously and neatly.flip to one "Blockade", the author Zhang Ailing, I only read one or two chapters, and I sat up straight and read it carefully.

Read it over and over again.When I met Hu Jinren, I asked him to watch it too. He praised it after watching it, but I was still not satisfied. I wrote to Su Qing and asked, who is this Ailinguo? She replied only women.I just feel that if there is a word or a thing in the world, it is about Eileen Chang, Then everything becomes good.And the second issue of Tiandi arrived, and there was another article by Zhang Ailing, this is true.this issue And there is a picture of her.When you see a good person or a good thing, you will be skeptical, as if you want to prove it again and again Of course it was like this, so I was foolishly happy again and again, but didn't ask what it had to do with me.

It's so ridiculous, no wonder I'm going to jail.I am confused about politics and like luck.but I happen to be rational, which can be seen in my respect for the article and my quietness in prison. And after I was released, I went to Shanghai and went to look for Su Qing as soon as I got off the train.Su Qing is very happy to accompany me from her office Take to the street to eat fried rice with eggs.I asked about Zhang Ailing, and she said that Zhang Ailing was invisible.Ask her for Zhang Ailing's address, she He also hesitated for a while before writing to me. It is Room 65, 6th Floor, Apartment No. 192, Hede Crossing, Jing'an Temple Road.

I went to see Eileen Chang the next day, but I didn't see her. I just handed in a note through the door, because I didn't bring my business card. Another day later, after lunch, Zhang Ailing called and said to come and see me.My home in Shanghai is beautiful on Daxi Road Garden, not far from her place, she really came right away. When I saw Zhang Ailing's person, I felt that it was completely different from what I thought.She came into the drawing room, it seemed she was too Sitting there, she looked naive and pitiful. She was a female student, and she didn't even have the maturity of a female student.

I'm even afraid that she's living in poverty, and I think wartime cultural people are suffering, but she can't make me think she's a writer . Zhang Ailing's indomitable, the world will be shaken in six ways, it is my living room that has become inappropriate today. She is extremely particular about clothes, but she is a newcomer to the world, people with different identities have clothes of various prices, For her, everything in the world has no grade.She is growing up like seventeen or eighteen years old, her body and clothes betray each other.Her expression is that of a little girl coming home from school, walking alone on the road, thinking about something in her stomach,

When she met a classmate who called her, she ignored her, with the serious look on her face. Her vitality is neither strong nor attractive, but I feel that there are all her people in front of me.I can't even Because she is beautiful, he doesn't like her, and he is only afraid of hurting her.Beauty is an idea, it must be something, even I also have stereotyped feelings for the love of beauty, and it must be something, but Eileen Chang overturned all of these for me. I always think that I know what is amazing, but when I encounter real things, it is not the way of beauty, nor is it the way of surprise.

Startled. I actually wanted to fight Aileen, criticize current popular works to her, and say what is so good about her articles, and talk about My things in Nanjing, because in front of her, I have myself so clearly.I also asked her monthly The income from writing manuscripts, listen to her very honest answer.When we meet for the first time, and she is a young lady, it is impolite to ask these questions , but for a good person, the meaning of cherishing can only be caring about her body and life. Zhang Ailing will also just listen to me diligently, sitting in the living room for five hours, she is also generally confused and ridiculous

.My surprise was before I knew her, so she liked it, because I was really unconditional.and she likes , is also before knowing her own feelings.It's so strange, if you don't know or don't understand, you can be a bosom friend. Later, I sent her to the entrance of the alley, and the two of them walked side by side. I said, "How can you be so tall? ? Zhang Ailing was very surprised and almost disgusted when the two of them got so close with just this one sound, but really very good. (two) I went to see Eileen Chang the next day.Her room is so luxurious that it makes me uneasy, the furnishings and furniture are simple,

Not necessarily very valuable, but priceless, a modern freshness that is almost irritating.outside the balcony It is the whole of Shanghai in the shadow of the sky and the sun, and the trams below are coming and going.Zhang Ailing is wearing sapphire blue silk jacket trousers today, The glasses with bright yellow frames made her face look more like the moon.During the Three Kingdoms, Soochow was the most prosperous, Liu Bei went to Mrs. Sun's room Even in Zhang Ailing's room, she was timid, and Zhang Ailing's room was also full of military spirit. I also sat in her room for a long time, talking only about theory, and at the same time talking about my life, and Zhang Ailing also talked about it.

Just listen.Men and women are happy, one is like dancing, and the other is like fighting, while the male and female puppet dance carved on the old Chinese fence, That brutality is also like Xue Rengui and Princess Daizhan meeting in front of the two armies, and the dance is like a fight.in the folk song Men and women are difficult to meet, and storytellers love to listen to Su Xiaomei's tribulation groom. Wang Anshi and Su Dongpo are political enemies, but the folks talk about it Mr. Anshi, the king of Cheng, was impressed by Xueshi Su for his knowledge of Huangzhou chrysanthemum and tea in the gorge, and the friendship between the two was reversed.

Is very lively, much better than political enemies.I have never been compared with others, nor do I fight, but now I met Eileen Chang It is better to fight. But I used all my weapons, but what was not as good as hers was bare hands.Eileen Chang's grandfather Zhang Peilun and Miss Li Hongzhang Marriage is a well-known story, because when I mentioned it, she copied her grandmother's poem to me, but said that her grandmother My mother is not very good at composing poems, and this one was rewritten by her grandfather.She ruins the story like this, so it's so small Say. Because Zhang Ailing said that she heard that I was imprisoned in Nanjing, she was also moved by pity, and went to a week with Su Qing. The Fohai family, think of any way to save me.I only thought she was naive and ridiculous after hearing this, but a kind of surprise was better than gratitude. Excitement is better.I didn't even compare Zhang Peilun back then, because the current moment is worth a thousand dollars, and the hasty comparison of emotion and comparison There is no work to do. When I got home, I wrote the first letter to Zhang Ailing, and it turned out to be like a new poem from the May Fourth era, which was childish and ridiculous. , Zhang Ailing was also surprised, I thought it was better.It was all because of Eileen Chang, which made me feel uncomfortable when I thought about it later. For love.But I said she was humble in my letter, but I loved her. She wrote back and said that I "be merciful because I understand." Since then, I have to see her every other day.After going to see her three or four times, Zhang Ailing suddenly became very troubled and sad. cold.When a woman loves someone, she will feel this kind of grievance.She sent a note telling me not to see her again, But I didn't think there would be any trouble in the world, so I went to see her that day, and she was still happy when she saw me.by After that, I simply went to see her every day. Because I talked about the photo posted on "Tiandi", she took it out to me the next day, and there was writing on the back, Seeing him, she became very low, low to the dust, but she was happy in her heart, Flowers bloom out of dust. She is sending a photo like Wu Jizha is giving a sword. According to my own example, Xu Jun is just Aiyue , but not necessarily meaningful.Zhang Ailing knows that I like it, and since you like it, I will give it to you, and I will take pictures To you, I am also happy.And I just accepted it calmly, without being fascinated.Feelings and thoughts can be So it's just a good word. The realm of this good word is still before feelings and longing, but it has meaning, not something Meaning, and even joy, anger, sorrow, and joy have no names. (three) When I went to Nanjing, I received a letter from Zhang Ailing, and I received it like a stone in my hand. It was so important, but Not a sense of responsibility.I am not very lovesick, I just become fond of Xiaoge.Every time I go back to Shanghai, if I don’t go home, I will Go to see Aileen, step into the door and say, "I'm back." I didn't come out from Ailing's place until dusk, and went to Meiliyuan's house. Before going to bed, I still asked Qingyun to talk with me. Once, Qingyun felt that my uncle was always a good one, and Miss Zhang was no better than an ordinary girl.One night I got from Aileen I went out to Xiong Jiandong’s house. The Jiandong couple and Mrs. Zhou Fohai were playing cards. I looked at the card table once and felt I was restless, my heart was full, I wanted to sing songs, I wanted to talk, even the electric light would laugh at me. I usually go back to Shanghai once a month and stay there for eight or nine days. In the room, the men gave up farming and the women gave up weaving. They didn't even want to go out to play with Tao, and they didn't have time.old In the play, Shen Guisheng can stay with Zhizhen in nun's house for years and months, without even thinking of a honeymoon trip. real. When the two of us were together, we just couldn't stop talking.In front of Aileen, I feel like a novice in everything I want to say Playing the huqin, I worked hard, but I still couldn't understand the correct words, and the sound of silk and bamboo turned into the sound of gold and stone, I was really annoyed Disturbed, often said and changed, changed and regretted.But Aileen likes this kind of stimulation, like listening to Shanxi Bangzi's brain They must be smashed out, and listen to me, there are people with me everywhere, no matter what I say, Aileen also feels good Like "climbing sticks to pick fragrant flowers, saying it is a breath of joy". I am not used to Aileen.She has never sympathized with others, she has no sympathy for anyone, and she has nothing to do with mercy. There is no exaggeration or grievance in this world.She is very selfish and cruel when things happen. Her selfishness is a person who is on a big scene during the festive season, and her own existence is very obvious.she is cruel It's because she can't stand a little bit of grievance.She is very obedient, and obedience is a willing joy to her.and she is right People in the world have countless regrets, always feel like they have done something wrong, and regret endlessly, her regret is like facing the big Di Chunyang, Yanzi's soft words are not negotiable. My things that are limited to stereotypes, and the fresh surprises Zhang Ailing gave me are still before judging right from wrong.old novels There are often people in the fairyland, and they see rare birds and flowers, but they don't know their names. Aileen's words and deeds are like coals of ice to me, Every now and then I don't take it seriously, and even when she showed me her paintings, they were completely different from what I expected.but not You must wait until you know it later before you are happy to admire it. Even if you don’t know it at the beginning, you haven’t even formed the joy and admiration, and you feel downhearted. It's very good if it's somewhat rebellious surprise, and I just rely on such a spicy and muddled good impression She felt that she would admit everything she didn’t know. She asked me if I liked her paintings, and I had to answer yes, Aileen. He was very happy and told her aunt. I am a person who has received ideological training, and I have to pass the theory in order to admit everything.i give love Ling read my thesis, but she said that such a strict system is not as good as disbanding it. Let all things be like an army, it turns out that it is better to let all things disarm and return to the field, talking and laughing all the way.I am also banned by terminology Live, I am not afraid of being rich and powerful, but I am afraid of public academic authority.Once I dared to say "Dream of the Red Chamber" Journey to the West is better than Tolstoy's War and Peace, or Goethe's Faust, but Aileen replied flatly, of course A Dream of Red Mansions Journey to the West is good. The Cowboys and the Weaver Girls met on the magpie bridge, and the whispers were not over yet, and suddenly the sky dawned, and even the entertainment became hasty.midnight in the song Sleeping overnight, chatting all night long, traveling thousands of miles in Huangbo, the road is truly infinite. Ai Ling and I are traveling thousands of miles in Tonghua, and we can't stop talking in North Korea. So only caring about the love between men and women, and being together for a few days, both of them are struggling, and then I will go to Nanjing to let her have time Good to write articles.And every time we say goodbye, there is no sorrow of parting. It seems that after the Lantern Festival, I feel different about ordinary life. kind of novelty.I only say that the Milky Way is tears, but it turns out that the Milky Way is light and shallow but it describes joy. (Four) Christ said, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's." The same is true of the Communist Party today. Separating people into categories, Eileen Chang taught me that there are no taboos.People in the world don't die for evil, but die for good, what? If a good thing is accompanied by witchcraft and taboos, it will be bad. Because I heard people often say that the happiest time was in school, I also asked Ai Ling, but Ai Ling didn't like school life very much.I She also thinks that childhood needs nostalgia, and she doesn't miss it either.In my opinion, it is the feeling that should be, but in her, there is no such feeling should.She also told me confidently that she doesn't like her parents, she lives outside alone, and she has a Even when her younger brother came to see her, she was ruthless.This goes against my personality.But Chinese civilization was originally a human race in five The ethics and the five constants do not mean that people belong to the five ethics and the five constants. The reason why the ethics have not been revolutionized for thousands of years is because they are related to the two. Fourteen Filial Piety can also have Peach Blossom Girl and Fan Lihua. Folks go to theater and love to watch Peach Blossom Girl fighting with her father-in-law.I also like Fanlihua, Fanlihua killed her husband and father, but Datang World still wants a beautiful and capable person like her.And Nezha, Nezha is a little child Hai got into a catastrophe, and his father was afraid of getting involved, so he took the kindness of his life to punish him. Nezha was so angry that he cut the meat back to his mother and deboned him. Returning to the father, later Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva made his limbs out of lotus leaves and lotus roots.Zhang Ailing is also such a lotus body . Aileen is new to her, like wearing new clothes that are particularly eye-catching for uncleanness, a little bit of fog or filth to defile her Feel it instantly.Xiangyu in Liaozhai, the man said to Jiangxue, "Xiangyu is my beloved wife, and Jiangxue is also my dear friend." . "Aileen was very upset.And I met a few cultural people who I met in gossip with Ailing, and Ailing could tell at a glance that they were Not clean and not smart.Every time I hear her talk, I can't help but compare myself to others. I feel a bit startled, but I can't check it out. . I called it the room of Zhu Minling, but she said that it was arranged by her mother before she went abroad. If she arranges it herself, She loves exciting colors.Zhao Kuangyin described Rising Sun, "If you want to get out of the sun, thousands of mountains are like fire." Love The thrill Ling said was the glorious color of a spicy tart like this.When she looked at Jin Ping Mei, she noticed Song Huilian's dress, I asked her if she was stimulated by the obscenity, but she didn't.She loves to read tabloids, a lot of nasty pretense She laughed and cursed at the same sentence, while still reading; I don't feel any sympathy for Aileen, but when she relayed the story to me, she was so happy and funny.whatever she is looking at Well, she is still just herself, she will not share the sorrows and joys with the people in the book, and she is so clean that she seems to be untouched by the world of mortals. Even for good things, Aileen doesn't touch herself.The articles she wrote were read by many modern women, thinking It is impossible to imitate the characters in her works, but Aileen herself does not like such characters.Aileen can be with Pan Jinlian and Li Ping'er in Jin Ping Meili are also confidant, but they never sympathize with them. Sister Chaifeng, Qingwen Xiren, and even Aunt Zhao are also close friends, but they never want to compare themselves with any of them. She does the same with the men in the book or in the present.She is a person who goes out to enjoy the flowers in spring and never falls in love. I myself thought I could look up to the prince, but I still have too much gratitude, and Aileen didn't do that even once, even The opponent is the sun god, and she can see him clearly in small places.The feelings of ordinary people, including me, are often Gentlemen don't tolerate villains, and the same is true for things, but tragedies have always been made by good people, and many good people Things can only be seen being destroyed one after another, because that kind of goodness is originally limited, it is sick, and it is unforgivable. Still shouldn't be forgiven.Aileen is very harsh on good people and good things, but she is not too harsh on villains and ordinary things. It's this strictness, she is really equal. Aileen is like a child, so she doesn't like children. She doesn't get close to dogs and cats, and she doesn't even care about little angels. Good impression.Once she came back from printing a white newspaper and had to pay the driver's bill at the door of the apartment. She felt very sorry. Ashamed and afraid, he would rather have more, put the money into the driver's hand, and fled upstairs, not even daring to look at the driver. s face.Chinese folks also say that children have the cleanest eyes, and they smile in their sleep. It is the Bodhisattva who is teaching him, but sometimes there is nothing. If he was terrified, he saw something ominous and unclean.Eileen Chang doesn't study current affairs at all, but she told me about Japanese Pop songs are very sad. This means that Japan is about to die. At that time, I didn't even dare to tell Ikeda. If he knew, he should When weep in shock. (Fives) Zhang Ailing likes to smell the smell, and she also likes to smell the smell of paint and gasoline.She drinks strong tea and eats greasy and cooked rotten food things.She seldom buys things, but she is not stingy on the food, and must eat snacks every day. She takes care of herself like a red cat. Mouth green warbler brother.She has spare money to buy clothes and rouge pollen.When she was a little girl there was an article in the newspaper She came out and got five yuan. The adults said that this was the first manuscript fee and they should buy a dictionary as a souvenir, but she immediately Use this money to buy lipstick. Her mother was a young lady from Huangjunmen in the late Qing Dynasty, a beautiful westernized woman who trained Aileen to be a lady since she was a child , I finally lost my heart.Her mother taught her how to smile cleverly, but Aileen didn't smile, and when she smiled, she opened her mouth and laughed again. Or just a happy smile, even she herself forgot that she was smiling, a little silly.Aileen looks like this to me Tolerate herself, she just felt very happy about this helpless thing.And said, "My mother taught me that a lady The posture when I walk, but I always bump up and down when I walk, and I bump into the corners of tables and chairs in the room for three or two days, When the skin is broken, it will be bruises, so I rubbed it with red lotion. Every time my aunt saw it, she was surprised, thinking that the injury was serious and bleeding So much blood. ' she said, feeling very happy again. Aileen showed me two strings of large glass beads her mother brought her from Egypt when she was young, one string of blue and one string of purple beads. Red, I immediately felt that I was a boy and looked down on such girly things.She also showed me her hour composition.She wrote "Modern Dream of Red Mansions" at the age of fourteen, which was bound into two manuscript volumes. The beginning is Qin Zhong and Zhi Zhier eloped to Hangzhou by train, fell in love freely and got married, but they were financially troubled, angry and sad, Later, it was Jia Mu who brought Baoyu and all the sisters to the West Lake to watch the water sports meeting and eat ice cream.I was surprised when I first saw it , how could it spoil the scenery like this, but she writes really rationally and cleanly. Eileen Chang makes people dislike her at first glance. She will never cater to you, let alone cater to her.You use All stereotyped beauty and evil can't be seen through when you look at her, like the Buddhist scriptures say that you can't meet the Tathagata at thirty-two, her Human beings are such a combination of divine light and separation.Occasionally, a cultural person came to her and barely sat down for a while, but felt that she could not be forced Watch, don't stay for long.Good things do not make people feel at ease, but they make people feel a little uneasy. Whatever she does, she seems to be taking on a big event, the look on her face when she walks is no small matter, she Even when twisting a needle or opening a can, he still looks confident and serious.What people are used to doing, even if they don't want to It can be done properly here, but it is very difficult for her, and she is not willing to give in a little bit.But she also accepted There is no disadvantage in negotiating and writing manuscripts, and the budget is well arranged.She has her own way of dealing with things and doesn't bullied.Once I met a bum and snatched her handbag, fought for a long time without being snatched, and another bum snatched her Half of the steamed bun in her hand fell to the ground, and she still took the half back. When it comes to favors and money, I always owe people what I owe, but Aileen has both. Don't sloppy.She lives with her aunt in a separate room, and the two have to compare pennies and pennies.She also knows it herself, it's a shame Said to me, "My aunt says I'm a money addict." He laughed and was very happy.It is rare for her and Yan Ying to go out together When you eat dim sum in a coffee shop, you must first state who will pay the bill.Yan Ying is an Indian woman, very playful, she has the ability to say The Jew, the owner of the coffee shop, also softened his heart and underestimated her money. Aileen was very happy when she told me about it. Ai Ling's money is like life, reminding me of a string of lucky money weaved with red strings on the first day of the first lunar month when I was a child. Xi Daoguang's bright white copper coins also have this kind of joy.I laughed at Ailing, "Some fathers pay their children tuition and complain that All my money has blood, or blood and sweat. Aileen felt helpless when she heard that, and said with a smile, "My money and blood are gone. Yes, it is hard-earned money that only makes people feel uncomfortable, and it is not so gratifying. " Every time Aileen spends money, she has a kind of righteousness, whether it is generosity or frugality, neither of which is mixed with the slightest exaggeration.once Speaking of Zhou Fohai's house, she said, "There are so many valuable things that don't look good or happy. After I saw them, I just feel that I would rather not be rich.In the apartment where Aileen lives, the neighbor is a German, so stingy is not even funny , Aileen said, "Westerners are all stingy. Although they can invest in large projects, they are willing to donate money to charity. Karma, after all, I don't know that there is a virtue called generosity. " (six) Ailing has never caused any sorrow or hatred, if she just cried a lot.She told me twice, once when she was ten Back and forth, for a man, but I couldn't remember whether it was Aileen who hated him or liked him and was frustrated, so I burst into tears.again Once, when I was studying at the University of Hong Kong, I had a summer vacation for one year, as if Yan Ying went back to Shanghai without waiting for her , She usually didn't want to go home, but this time she fell on the bed and cried and shouted.In her articles, she is used to depicting Compassion and resentment, tender thoughts, quiet tears, but she herself would rather be like white rain on a sunny day. She said, "You said you didn't have any sorrow, I think I did too, but last time you went to Nanjing, I was going to feel sad . "But she's not a romantic person after all.Another time she wrote and said, "I thought about it, you will It's just me coming and going here. "She was thinking about marriage and didn't know what to do, but she didn't know what to do. Think again. I asked Aileen how she thought about marriage before, and she said she didn't think much about it.she doesn't want to Who would fall in love with, and it seems that she has never even pursued her. If so, she probably doesn't like it.anyway for now Early, get married when you want to get married, and don't pick three or four.Ambitious men don't care whether they marry or not. It can be generous, and she is a woman, but she can be so. But she didn't expect to meet me.I have a wife and she doesn't care.Or I have many girlfriends, even She will not be jealous if she plays with prostitutes.She would like all the women in the world to like me.And she and I are even if not Often together, the distance is just like me in the room alone, while she goes to the kitchen to get tea.Where the two of us are, Only half of others can get there, and the other half can't get there. Ai Ling and I are only in love with each other. In the Midnight Song, "Huan" is actually better than being called a lover.two people sitting When talking in the room, she would just look at me diligently, overjoyed, and say, "Why are you so smart? Shanghai dialect is Knock on the top of the head, and the soles of the feet will also ring. Later, when I was exiled to Yandang Mountain, I read an ancient saying, "A gentleman is like ringing," he smiled unconsciously.She was so surprised that she was so happy on her own, she would just ask, "Is your man real?" ?Is it true that you and I are together like this? "I was required to answer, which made me stiff.listen to aileen It was said that there was a sentence in the old novel, "I want to die", I was surprised, praised the sentence repeatedly, and asked her which one it came from She was also surprised by the old novels, saying, "This is common." In fact, she was always so happy that she felt like dying, So confused that I thought there was such a ready-made idiom long ago. But I have never seen people in the world like her as much as I do.Who ever met and talked with Eileen Chang, I I think it's a big deal, and I want to hear what they say about how beautiful she is, but they don't even make the usual judgments. nor.Everyone loves her articles, like reading a city of lights, this can not be regarded as a kind of bosom friend who is too vast to forget each other, But I don't think they're good at all.Like them, I face the beauty of the world, but only I am alarmed, want to Smell the chicken and dance. There are also such criticisms in magazines, saying that Eileen Chang's pen is all charming, but unfortunately the consciousness is not accurate.return A Minister of Education of the Nanjing government said to me, "Miss Zhang has such a deep cultivation in Western literature, she is so old that It's rare to be light.But she wants to be the chairman's wife, but it's hard to say! "I'm both annoyed and ok with it laugh.Criticisms about consciousness leave it alone, because Eileen doesn't even think about revolutionary sanctity.but madam If so, it was originally written in her article that she saw the police beating a boy on the Bund of the main road, and she wanted to become the chairman Madam can draw her sword to help, but this idea is not easy to develop systematically, so, so clear, how can Will not understand?And they say she is talented and rare, but why don't they like her as much as I like her to the heart. In July, Dai Ugaki of Japan came to Shanghai. When I mentioned Zhang Ailing, he wanted to meet him, but I said no. Dear, I have to ask her first when I go to meet; Xiong Jiandong wants to entertain Zhang Ailing several times and asks me to accompany her, I will give her declined.I only introduced Ikeda, every time he and Ai Ling met, I was together, it was like a big event.Ikeda says , He regarded Yanying as his younger sister, and Miss Zhang as his older sister, who was more adult than him.Zhang Ailing also said that Ikeda OK, but I don't think Ikeda was influenced by her. Aileen and I are just like this, and there are mountains in the world that never get too high, seas that never get too deep, mountains and seas that are almost impossible So it's the personal relationship between children.Neither of us ever thought of getting married.But Yingdi divorced me, and we got married up.I was thirty-eight years old and she was twenty-three years old.In order not to implicate her due to changes in the current situation in the future, I did not take any action. To perform the ceremony, only write the marriage letter, the text says, Hu Lancheng and Zhang Ailing signed a lifelong contract to become a couple, wishing the years to be quiet and peaceful, and the present world to be stable. The first two sentences were written by Ai Ling, and the last two sentences were written by me, with Yan Ying as the matchmaker. Even though we were married, it was still as if we had never been married.I would not make her life a little bit because of me Change.The two don't look like a husband and wife no matter what, but one is still a golden boy and the other is a jade girl. (seven) Most people in the world know that evil things often have great power, such as clouds of evil, which will startle people's jaws apart and blast away their souls. Soul, I don't know that good things can also have great power. It makes people see their lives directly, and there is such a shock.Buddhist scriptures Writing about Tathagata's appearance, the world vibrated in six kinds and eighteen phases, which was like the vibration dropped by a thermonuclear bomb.But the evil power It is intimidation, fright is frightening, making people small, good things are like the majesty of auspicious lins and phoenixes, and fright is surprise, making people feel small. flying.Only when good things exert great power can the great power of evil be turned into good fortune.But Western Humans have only discovered God, and their people are still sacrifices for burnt offerings, not as good as the Chinese who can see their lives directly, whoever stands in the way In front of him, even Sakyamuni can be killed with a stick, just like Emperor Gaozu of the Han Dynasty cut the snake and opened the way. When I was young, I saw flowers as flowers and water as water. When I saw the moon on the eaves, I had no thoughts. People and things were clean to the point of love. Righteousness is rationality.When I grew up, I was impacted by the Western spirit on Chinese civilization, because I was determined and wanted to learn it well. Going upwards, listening to theories, and faking emotions in order to match them, will make you sick all over the body.Jia Baoyu in a dream of Red Mansions He was seriously ill, and the monk came to see the doctor. Xiren and others took off the psychic gemstone he was wearing and handed it out. In his hand, he could only see the dark and turbid jade color, and unconsciously sighed, "Under the Qinggeng Peak, don't come fifteen years ago, how can you do this?" Trapped by greed, hatred, love and ignorance, where is the light of your nature!I read this section, aftertaste, I really want to cry. When I am here at Ailes, I see myself and everything in the world again. Modern China and the West can be just A sea feast and river clearing.In the Journey to the West, the Tang monk learned the scriptures and arrived at Leiyin. When he was crossing the river and boarding the boat, Shaogong pushed him, and it was dangerous. A little bit fell into the water, and when he looked at it qualitatively, a corpse dripped from the upper reaches, he said in surprise, no matter how Buddha is, there is death People, the traveler replied to Master, that is your karmic body, congratulations on being liberated.I also saw my own dead body here at Aileen body startled.If I didn't have her, I wouldn't be able to write "Mountains and Rivers". The two of us in the room are like "looking at the front and back mirrors of flowers, and the faces of the flowers complement each other." I live with her as a fellow practitioner, The same destiny, the same vision, the same knowledge.Aileen is very beautiful.She is magnificent, and she is usually astonishing.she makes perfect sense Sexuality, rationality is as good as mathematics, it is just like this, without theoretical logic, her world-wide, it is Like the truth of mathematics, and her beauty is like the infinity of mathematics.My inaccuracy is exaggeration, exactly Fang is poor and deficient, so every time I have to correct it from her.The ancients said that couples are like tuning a harp, but I got it from Aileen Positive column. When I was in Hong Kong, I bought Beethoven's record, and I didn't like it when I heard it, but Beethoven is called the saint of music, so it must be me No, I will listen hard every day until I understand it.Jizhi Ailing started learning steel at the age of nine Qin Xue was fifteen years old, and I was waiting to be proud of it, but she said that she didn't like piano, which made me feel relieved.again Since I was studying in middle school, I have disdained Beijing opera, Shaoxing opera, popular songs, etc., and it was only through Ailing's guidance that I learned about it. It's good, and I actually liked it. "University" said, "The so-called sincere person should not deceive himself. It smells bad, but it's like a good sex. "I only have myself now. Aileen reads the most modern Western literature. When we were in the room, she often told me, as if "Eighteen Only a drawer." Nun Zhizhen moved out to eat and invite her lover.She told me about Shaw, Huxley, San Mao Teman , and Lawrence's works.After each lecture, she always said, "But their benefits are limited," as if It's as if the dust has ruined my listening.She doesn't feel that my English is not good at all. On the contrary, she treats me little. sorry.But she is not interested in Western classical works, nor does she love Shakespeare, Goethe, and Russia. All grand things in the West, like their murals, symphonies, revolutions or world wars, make people feel strenuous , which is actually not good.Ai Lingning only likes the spirit of modern Western commoners.Tolstoy's War and Peace "Ping", I read the moving parts, she was not moved at all, but she saw that there were a few sections describing the story where there was no story Well done.She will not be coaxed to sing and cry with others, because her emotions are so clear that they are rational.Lian Yingdi divorced me On that day, I went to Ailing with tears, and Ailing didn't show sympathy. I never saw Aileen buy books, and there was no pile of books in her room.I brought the Book of Songs, Yuefu Poems, and Li Yishan Poems , she saw it and returned it immediately.I borrowed Japanese prints, ukiyo-e, and Cézanne’s albums from Ikeda. In order to like it, Ikeda said to give it to her, but she didn't want it.I asked her about the pieces of clothing she described in the article, She only looked at it in the store and couldn't buy it. I felt it was a pity, but she didn't feel any regrets at all.Aileen is like Moshang Qin Luofu from Sangli, or Hu Ji from Habayashi Langli, no matter how attractive the other party is, she just has good intentions and doesn't need to Affection. She is so obedient to me, and she will not change her mind because of me.I often have a discussion , Then I thought about it, and said to her, "Just be yourself, please don't be influenced by me." She laughed Said, "Don't worry, I still don't follow what I don't follow. Although I don't follow, I still like to listen." She is a person, It's really like unaccompanied. A person who is sincere does not necessarily become smart, but "those who want to be sincere must first extend their knowledge, and the extension of knowledge lies in the investigation of things." , You have to be smart and then be able to be sincere. Knowing is before caring.And it is not possible to go to the knowledge to study things, but to study things in the process of learning. Know first.Gewu is completely a mystery.Ai Ling is a person like the sky, so her knowledge of things is beyond my reach. Aileen's cleverness is really like a crystal heart glass person.I thought I could show my power to her in the ancient Chinese books, how could I know She is also strong.The two sit side by side and read the same book, and the sentences in the book are like pedestrians on the street who only greet her, But I'm so glad I was with her.Reading the Book of Songs, I think she may not like Daya, and if I don’t want the Book of Songs, I also admire her Yes, there was an article that only read the first two sentences, "Zhuo Bi Yun Han, Zhao Hui to the sky", Aileen was surprised, and said, "Ah! It's really a drought year. "It is also read in nineteen ancient poems, "There is a beautiful woman in Yanzhao. Clothes clothes, when the household sorts out the music. She said in surprise, "It's really chaste, that's a prostitute!" "Where did Huan come from? Duan Ran looks worried." She sighed, "This Duan Ran is really good, and she really loves him!" Then I realized that I usually read things and thought I understood, but in fact I didn’t understand. Aileen doesn't read theoretical books, and she doesn't even like history.But I still read one of her essays about clothes, and then I met face-to-face with many major events since the early years of the Republic of China, and she also wrote about clothes in this article, but only about clothes. No need for the Environmental Age to explain it.Aileen is all her knowledge is to take care of everything in the world. (Eight) Zhang Ailing was a person who took pictures of flowers near the water in the world of the Republic of China.Reading her articles, I just feel that she knows everything. She has very little experience in the world, but everything in this era will come to negotiate with her, just like "flowers come to the shirt, The shadow falls in the pond."One morning, I walked to the beautiful garden with her, the shadows of trees and the sound of cars on Daxi Road, and the pedestrians in the shop Aileen was delighted, and said to me, "Although there are many differences in modern things, they belong to us after all. dear. " Aileen's mother is still in Nanyang, and her aunt has come back from Europe to work in Jardine Matheson. One day she talked about I don’t know how much was destroyed during the war in Berlin, so when I talked about the streets of Berlin, I asked Aileen, and Aileen replied, “I don’t I want to study abroad, but I like Shanghai where I live. "So I do all kinds of things in politics, and I don't want to move her in the end. . Aileen and I looked at Japanese prints, ukiyo-e, Korean porcelain, and ancient Indian mural collections. Waiting to see her face, listening to her say which one is good, even if it is just a few words of advice, I can understand it It really is very good.There is also the Drum Tower Dageng described in Ai Ling's article in the folk tunes, all of which have unified the country. Stability, I also look at these things differently.But then Ailing and I went to Jing'an Temple Street to buy side dishes, and arrived at 清冷冷的洋式食品店裡看看牛肉雞蛋之類，只覺與我剛纔所懂得的中國文明全不 調和，而在她則只覺非常親切，她的新就是新得這樣刺激的。 我與她同看西洋畫冊子，拉斐爾與達文西的作品，她只一頁一頁的翻翻過， 翻到米開朗基羅雕刻的人像「黎明」，她停了細看一回，她道、「這很大氣，是 未完工的。」塞尚的畫卻有好幾幅她給我講說，畫裡人物的那種小奸小壞使她笑 起來。愛玲自己便是愛描寫民國世界小奸小壞的市民，她的《傾城之戀》裡的男 女，漂亮機警，慣會風裡言、風裡語，作張作致，再帶幾分玩世不恭，益發幻美 輕巧了，背後可是有著對人生的堅執，也竟如火如荼，惟像白日裡的火山，不見 焰，只見是灰白的煙霧。他們想要奇特，結局只平淡的成了家室，但是也有著對 於人生的真實的如泣如訴。 現代大都市裡的小市民不知如何總是委屈的，他們的小奸小壞，小小的得意 ，何時都會遇著大的悲慘決裂。現代的東西何時都會使人忽然覺得它不對，不對 到可怕的程度，連眼前那樣分明的一切，都成了不可干涉。愛玲與我說、「西洋 人有一種阻隔，像月光下一隻蝴蝶停在帶有白手套的手背上，真是隔得叫人難受 . 」又一次她告訴我、「午後公寓裡有兩個外國男孩搭電梯，到得那一層樓上， 樓上惟見太陽荒荒，只聽得一個說再會。真是可怕！ " 掃帚星的尾巴有毒，掃著地球，地球上就要動刀兵或是發生大瘟疫，但不致 因此毀滅，如今民國世界便像這樣，亦不過是被西洋的尾巴掃著罷了，所以愛玲 還是從赫克斯萊的影響走了出來。 中國文明就是能直見性命，所以無隔。我與愛玲兩人並坐著看詩經，這裡也 是「既見君子」，那裡也是「邂逅相見」，她很高興，說、「怎麼這樣容易就見 著了！」而庾信的賦裡更有、 樹裡聞歌，枝中見舞， 恰對妝台，諸窗並開， 遙看已識，試喚便來。 愛玲與陽台外的全上海即是這樣的相望相識，叫一聲都會來到房裡似的。Westerners 與現世無緣，他們的最高境界倒是見著了神，而中國人則「見神見鬼」是句不好 聽的話。 中國人說天意，說天機，故又愛玲在人世是諸天遊戲，正經亦是她，調皮亦 is her.我是從愛玲纔曉得了中國人有遠比西洋人的幽默更好的滑稽。漢樂府有個 流蕩在他縣的人，逆旅主婦給他洗補衣裳，「夫婿從門來，斜倚西北眄」，我與 愛玲唸到這裡，她就笑起來道、「是上海話眼睛描發描發。」再看底下時卻是、 「語卿且勿眄」，她詫異道、「啊！這樣困苦還能滑稽，怎麼能夠！」兩人把它 來讀完、「語卿且勿眄，水落石頭見，石見何磊磊，遠行不如歸。」這麼一句竟 是對困苦亦能生氣撒嬌。這種滑稽是非常陽氣的糊塗。 愛玲自己，便亦調皮得叫人把她無奈。報上雜誌上凡有批評她的文章的，她 都剪存，還有冒昧寫信來崇拜她，她亦收存，雖然她也不聽，也不答，也不作參 考。我是人家讚揚我不得當，只覺不舒服，責難我不得當，亦只得咄的一聲「無 聊」，但他若是誠懇的，我雖不睬他，亦多少珍重他的這份心意。愛玲卻不然。 她笑道、「我是但凡人家說我好，說得不對我亦高興。」勸告她責難她得不對， 則她也許生氣，但亦往往只是詫異。他們說好說壞沒有說著了她，倒反給她如此 分明的看見了他們本人。她每與姑姑與炎櫻，或與我說起，便笑罵，只覺又是無 奈，又是開心好玩。是這樣的形相，即不論他們當中雖有心意誠懇的，她亦一概 不同情。愛玲論人，總是把聰明放在第一，與《大學》的把格物致知放在誠其意 之先，正好偶合。 又我與她正在用我們自己的言語要說明一件事，她卻會即刻想到一句文藝腔 ，脫口而出，注曰，這是時人的，兩人都笑起來，她這人就有這樣壞。連她身為 女子，亦會揶揄可笑的形容她自己。蘇州靈巖寺客堂掛有印光法師寫的字，是「 極樂世界，無有女人，女人到此，化童男身。」蘇青去游，見了很氣，愛玲卻絲 毫沒有反感。 我是從愛玲纔曉得了漢民族的壯闊無私，活潑喜樂，中華民國到底可以從時 代的巫魘走了出來。愛玲是吉人，毀滅輪不到她，終不會遭災落難。 夏天一個傍晚，兩人在陽台上眺望紅塵靄靄的上海，西邊天上餘暉未盡，有 一道雲隙處清森遙遠。我與她說時局不好，來日大難，她聽了很震動。漢樂府有 、「來日大難，口燥唇乾，今日相樂，皆當喜歡」，她道、「這口燥唇乾好像是 你對他們說了又說，他們總還不懂，叫我真是心疼你。」又道、「你這個人嗄， 我恨不得把你包包起，像個香袋兒，密密的針線縫縫好，放在衣箱裡藏藏好。 " 不但是為相守，亦是為疼惜不已。隨即她進房裡給我倒茶，她拿茶出來走到門邊 ，我迎上去接茶，她腰身一側，喜氣洋洋的看著我的臉，眼睛裡都是笑。我說、 「啊，你這一下姿勢真是艷！」她道、「你是人家有好處容易得你感激，但難得 你滿足。」她在我身旁等我喫完茶，又收杯進去，看她心裡還是喜之不盡，此則 真是「今日相樂，皆當喜歡」了，雖然她剛纔並沒有留心到這兩句。 (Nine) 一日午後好天氣，兩人同去附近馬路上走走。愛玲穿一件桃紅單旗袍，我說 好看，她道、「桃紅的顏色聞得見香氣。」還有我愛看她穿那雙繡花鞋子，是她 去靜安寺廟會買得的，鞋頭連鞋幫繡有龍鳳，穿在她腳上，線條非常柔和。她知 我喜歡，我每從南京回來，在房裡她總穿這雙鞋。 有時晚飯後燈下兩人好玩，挨得很近，臉對臉看著。她的臉好像一朵開得滿 滿的花，又好像一輪圓得滿滿的月亮。愛玲做不來微笑，要就是這樣無保留的開 心，眼睛裡都是滿滿的笑意。我當然亦滿心裡歡喜，但因為她是這樣美的，我就 變得只是正經起來。我撫她的臉，說道、「你的臉好大，像平原緬邈，山河浩蕩 . 」她笑起來道、「像平原是大而平坦，這樣的臉好不怕人。」她因說水滸裡有 寫宋江見玄女，我水滸看過無數遍，惟有這種地方偏記不得，央她念了，卻是「 天然妙目，正大仙容」八個字，我一聽當下獃住，竟離開了剛纔說話的主題，卻 要到翌日，我纔與她說、「你就是正大仙容。」但上句我未聽在心裡，央她又念 了一遍。 還有一次也是，我想要形容愛玲行坐走路，總口齒艱澀，她就代我說了，她 道、「金瓶梅裡寫孟玉樓，行走時香風細細，坐下時淹然百媚。」我覺得淹然兩 字真是好，要愛玲說來聽聽，愛玲道、「有人雖遇見怎樣好的東西亦滴水不入， 有人卻像絲棉蘸著了胭脂，即刻滲開得一塌糊塗。」又問我們兩人在一淘時呢？ 她道、「你像一隻小鹿在溪裡喫水。」 我問愛玲，她答說還沒有過何種感覺或意態形致，是她所不能描寫的，惟要 存在心裡過一過，總可以說得明白。她是使萬物自語，恰如將軍的戰馬識得吉凶 ，還有寶刀亦中夜會得自己鳴躍。我說蘇青的臉美，愛玲道、「蘇青的美是一個 俊字，有人說她世俗，其實她俊俏，她的世俗也好，她的臉好像喜事人家新蒸的 雪白饅頭，上面點有胭脂。 " 愛玲與炎櫻要好，炎櫻這個名字是愛玲給她取的，她的本名是FATIMA。she 像敦煌壁畫裡的天女，古印度的天女是被同時代西方的巴比侖與埃及所照亮，炎 櫻亦這樣，是生於現代西洋的，但仍是印度女子，且住在中國的上海。她比愛玲 淘氣。她只會說幾句中國話，但對她所識的三五個中國字非常有興趣，建議要與 愛玲兩人製新衣裝，面前各寫一句聯語，走到街上，忽然兩人會合在一起，忽然 上下聯成了對。 愛玲每讚炎櫻生得美，很大氣，知道我也喜歡她，愛玲很高興。炎櫻每來， 活動不停，三人在房裡，我只覺笨拙，不但是我英文不行之故，即使她是講上海 話的，恐怕我亦應接不及。她又喜理論，但她滔滔說了許多，結果只像一陣風來 去得無影無蹤。有時愛玲要我評評，我就試與炎櫻辯答。我說，但是事實如此， 她道、「真可怕！」我說社會本來就是這樣的，她道、「怎麼可以這樣愚蠢！」 都只是小女孩的責怪，我的邏輯只好完全失敗，而且甘願認輸。我忽然想起古樂 府「歡作沉水香，儂作博山爐」，卻又不切合眼前的光景，但與炎櫻說話，的確 好像聞得見香氣。 愛玲與外界少往來，惟一次有個文化人被日本憲兵隊逮捕，愛玲因傾城之戀 改編舞台劇上演，曾得他奔走，由我陪同去慰問過他家裡，隨後我還與日本憲兵 隊說了，要他們可釋放則釋放。應酬場面上，只一次同去過邵洵美家裡。又當初 有一晚上，我去蘇青家裡，恰值愛玲也來到。她喜歡也在眾人面前看著我，但是 她又妒忌，會覺得她自己很委屈。她惟常到炎櫻家裡，雖與我一道她亦很自然。 我美麗園家裡她亦來過幾次，但只住過一晚。平時她惟與姑姑朝夕相見說話，有 什麼事商量商量。 她文章裡有寫姑姑說，從前家裡養叫蟈蟈剝青豆飼它，她正聽姑姑說下去， 卻沒有了。如今手頭沒有愛玲寫的書，不大記得，但心裡尚留著一種好，那是什 麼意義或情調都還未有的好，如前人寫琴，「再鼓聽愈淡」，人世只是歷然都在 ，甚麼擾亂亦沒有。 (ten) 張佩綸當年為御史，排擊李鴻章議和，力主與法軍戰，朝廷命他督師，兵敗 基隆，貶竄熱河七年。罰滿釋歸京師，聽候起復，例須謁李鴻章，意外得到李鴻 章的小姐賜以顏色，憂患感激，遂成婚配。但李鴻章因翁婿避嫌，倒反不好保奏 了，夫妻遂居南京。同輩張之洞是兩湖總督，吳大徵是江蘇巡撫，盛宣懷是郵傳 部大臣，他們或經過南京晤見，故人樽酒平生，張佩綸曾悲歌慷慨，泣數行下。 愛玲說祖父好，姑姑卻不喜，姑姑的漂亮是祖母的，她說祖父相貌不配。 張家在南京的老宅，我專為去踏看過，一邊是洋房，做過立法院，已遭兵燹 ，正宅則是舊式建築，完全成了瓦礫之場，廢池頹垣，惟剩月洞門與柱礎階砌， 尚可想見當年花廳亭榭之跡。我告訴愛玲，愛玲卻沒有懷古之思。她給我看祖母 的一隻鐲子，還有李鴻章出使西洋得來的小玩意金蟬金象，當年他給女兒的，這 些東西，連同祖母為女兒時的照片，在愛玲這裡就都解脫了興亡滄桑。 愛玲喜在房門外悄悄窺看我在房裡。她寫道、「他一人坐在沙發上，房裡有 金粉金沙深埋的寧靜，外面風雨淋瑯，漫山遍野都是今天。 " 她是把古人亦當他們是今天的人。步非煙傳裡的那女子，與人私通，被拷打 至死，惟云「生得相親，死亦無恨」，遂不復言，愛玲說道，當然是這樣的，而 且只可以是這樣的。因為愛玲自己就是這樣一個柔艷剛強的女子。她又說會真記 裡崔鶯鶯寫給張生的信好，非常委屈，卻又這樣亮烈，而張生竟還去鄭家看她， 她當然不見。 好句是使人直見性命。白居易長恨歌有「宛轉蛾眉馬前死」，愛玲歎息道， 這怎麼可能！這樣委屈，但是心甘情願，為了他，如同為一代江山，而亦真是這 樣的。 愛玲與我說趙飛燕，漢成帝說飛燕是「謙畏禮義人也」，她回味這謙畏兩字 ，只覺是無限的喜悅，無限的美，女心真像是絲棉蘸著臙脂，都滲開化開了，柔 艷到如此，但又只是禮義的清嘉。愛玲又說趙飛燕與宮女踏歌「赤鳳來」，一陣 風起，她的人想要飛去，忽然覺得非常悲哀。後來我重翻飛燕外傳，原文卻並沒 有寫得這樣好，愛玲是她自己有這樣一種欲仙欲死，她的人還比倚新妝的飛燕更 beautiful. 愛玲真是錦心繡口。房裡兩人排排坐在沙發上，從姓胡姓張說起，她道、「 姓崔好，我母親姓黃亦好，紅樓夢有黃金鶯，非常好的名字，而且是寫的她與藕 官在河邊柳蔭下編花籃兒，就更見這個名字好了。」她說姓胡更好，我問姓張呢 ?她道、「張字沒有顏色氣味，亦還不算壞。牛僧孺有給劉禹錫的詩，是這樣一 個好人，卻姓了牛，名字又叫僧孺，真要命。」我說胡姓來自隴西，稱安定胡， 我的上代也許是羌，羌與羯氐鮮卑等是五胡。愛玲道、「羌好。羯很惡，面孔黑 黑的。氐有股氣味。鮮卑是黃鬍鬚。羌字像隻小山羊走路，頭上兩隻角。 " 她只管看著我，不勝之喜，用手指著我的眉毛，說、「你的眉毛。」撫到眼 睛，說、「你的眼睛。」撫到嘴上，說、「