Chapter 10 people in the world

people in the world I stayed in Nanjing for eight days, then returned to Hangzhou, and stayed at Si's house for a year without incident.The young master of the Si family was my colleague when I was in Huilan. Now he has entered Guanghua University, but he is at home due to illness.His family's master is a hero who made his fortune in the Xinhai Uprising, He passed away three years ago. At that time, he was the director of Ordnance Bureau of Zhejiang Province. The only property left behind is a rickshaw company, which is managed by his wife. The family is not well-off, and She has become a businessman, but this lady knows everything and is generous, and she is still an official.

There are six brothers and sisters in his family, the head is his wife, who is only forty-five years old, and an aunt who is only two years old. Thirteen.My wife treats me like a nephew and a guest. Her family members are in the inner courtyard. I live in the front wing and eat in the In the living room, sometimes the brothers are not there, and the youngest sister must come out to accompany them, and the host and guest sit at the same table.her name Her name is Bi Bi, she is only seven years old, but she was born by her aunt.What kind of hospitality was my first day at the S family, staying for a year

Not out of shape at all.And I follow the example of their brothers and sisters, and I still have pocket money on a monthly basis, twenty cents in silver. When I was away, my wife came in and put it in a drawer beside my bed.There is also New Year's money for Chinese New Year, which is two silver coins, sealed in red paper Bao, put in the fruit plate on New Year's Eve and brought in by the maid. The Si family used to live in Jindongqiao, with flower halls and terraces, but now they have moved to Jingangsi Lane, but they have two courtyards and three entrances. One-story house, and there is a rickshaw company behind the gate, the wife often comes here to take care of the room, but during the day

Long people are quiet, I always feel that it is usually a deep house compound.I never go into the inner courtyard, my wife just looks at it when I pass the front hall When she saw her, she greeted me with a smile, and I just called her Aunt Si.The same is true for my aunt and grandma, who only meet and call me when they go in and out. Mr. Hu, but I am surprised because she is young, with bright eyes and white teeth, snow-skinned and beautiful appearance, and a delicate voice. , I feel embarrassed to call her every time. When he lived in Jindongqiao, Kang Youwei often came to his house to fly a cup and wave a pen. Now that he moved house, there are still hangings on the hall.

Zhongtang written by Kang Youwei, "The great river goes east, the waves wash away, the romantic people of the ages, the west of the old base, the human way is the Three Kingdoms Zhou Lang Chibi. ".But here is Hangzhou, March is sunny and spring, the city is full of catkins like snow, flying into the courtyard, chasing each other in groups Dancing against the sky, the drizzle outside the door has just passed, and there are flowers selling in the deep alley.Once the wife passed by the front hall, catkins fluttered on her hair At this moment, she stopped in front of the full-length mirror and stretched out her hand to wipe it off. When she looked up and saw me, she greeted me quickly, and laughed embarrassedly.

Come. My wife smiles when she sees people, but she is very serious when she is alone. There is a kind of Frostweet in between.She wakes up early and sleeps early, and there are always things to do all day long. Her walking steps and her movements when doing things Small movements, all so upright and serious, but brisk and agile, like the freshness of mountains, rivers and trees in the morning dew.at home Although there are two maids, the wife can do everything by herself.She is also delicate in stir-fried vegetables, children They went to school to beat the quilts, and the wife told them not to beat them too tightly, for fear that the cotton tires would be crushed and hardened, and King Wen regarded the people as hurt.

, she is also afraid of hurting things.She is very frugal herself, and has counted every one of her money, even a bag of dates in the cabinet is worth a lot. She also counted how many, but she never told the maid who stole it and ate it, because everyone has flour, and every tree has bark. . The wife's maiden name is Yuan, and her single name is Jun. The previous generation seems to be an official family, but when she was a daughter, she It's not good, she is the third sister, and it costs money to get paintings of bowls and dishes from the porcelain shop with her brother, which is more expensive than paintings by famous artists.

The clean joy of folk reality.Her elder brother studied hard and became famous, and later became the president of the Jiangsu Provincial High Court. He did business in Shanghai and opened an iron factory in Hangzhou. His fourth brother studied abroad and died early.When the wife married the master, the master still In Hangzhou Wubei Academy, unable to support the family, his wife went to Suzhou as a tutor for half a year. In the early years of the Republic of China, the dragons chanted and the tigers roared in Hangzhou, and the students from the military training school all ascended to the throne. They trained recruits,

Opening a power company, opening a bank, opening a public stage theater, riding a horse to tour the West Lake, Huatang Jiuyan is like a meeting of heroes, among which The master is especially bold and loyal, and his friends are like brothers. Zhu Rui, the general of Xingwu, the governor of Zhejiang, is the most compatible with the master. Xia Chao, the director of the prosecutor's office, respects the master's words the most.Zhu Rui's wife also loves her wife like sisters, but it's just a festival or some They only came back and forth during the event, and the two went into the room hand in hand, sitting and talking on the edge of the bed, just like the two sisters on the bottle of toilet water.

painting of two sisters. The master died at the age of forty-four, and the entire estate was converted into less than ten thousand silver dollars. The second uncle persuaded the wife to call the children students I want to keep my life, but my wife is determined not to return it. It is risky to train all my children to go to college, but She has her gorgeous thoughts in this world. She is not stingy with her children's money, and she never asks for help from her relatives and friends. Only others get her benefits. Those who are rich get the benefits of her money, and those who are rich get the benefits of her affection.When I was young, the birthday of Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva was my favorite, every family

Burn incense and place it on the ground in front of the door, and offer a bowl of clean water, and Aunt Si's family will make people feel that she is in her suitcase, and she has lived in her whole life. It is an endless treasure. The voice of the wife is like a peony in the spring breeze. I have never heard her speak harshly to the maid or children. Bad temper, she always has room for dealing with people, but no one dares to deceive her, because she is also decisive.her When talking, it is usually said with a smile, but the people who listen to it are happy and happy, but also ashamed and afraid. The predecessors said that the emperor's words It is the sound of the heavenly language, which is not what a powerful society or Shinto can have, but a solemnity that comes from the world. A wife is as polite to her children as she is to her guests.Accounting in the company, the master and Craftsmen, relatives and friends who come out to ask for help from the countryside, when they come to their wives, no matter how self-deprecating and self-deprecating, they will feel that they are Originally a top-ranking person, no matter what kind of frustrated person feels that there will be no dead end in the world, everyone says his wife is good, Mrs. Bright.It turns out that the Buddha saves all living beings, and all the people in the world who are the true man become better and become useful when they come before him. Yes, it's just like this. The brothers and sisters of the Si family are all called officials, such as Songde official and Bibi official. Other relatives and friends are called according to their seniority, and maids are also called officials. Only relatives and friends are called Lord. My wife calls me Mr. Hu, but the maid calls me Young Master Hu.Uncle Si's family was a colonel Need, now living in the countryside, I occasionally come to Hangzhou to live in his house for three or five days, and my second uncle also comes to Hangzhou from Shanghai for a month I saw their respect twice, and felt that the little uncle and the second uncle were simply great, and I was just a Ordinary juniors dare not talk to each other when they meet in the front hall.And his big brother and sister-in-law, who are in the first place As a general manager in middle school, every time I come to his house, the kindness and respect I receive seems to me like a heavenly person, extraordinary. Xiao Ke.And my wife also values ​​me so much because I am a guest at his house and I am a scholar.In addition to his country The farmers who come out can only play small roles as clerks or secretaries, and they can only play small roles as clerks or secretaries. Known as a certain brother and certain official, he became great in a kind of family respect.Old relatives of the Si family, together with the master Many of my classmates from the Bei School and the Japanese Non-commissioned Officer School became high-ranking officials in various provinces in Nanjing, and my wife seldom talked with him. They come and go, but or mention it, it is just good intentions, and I feel that they have boundless glory in the world. Sometimes when I was in the front yard, I heard people from the company say that my wife was coming out, and the air suddenly became tense, like clearing the dust and avoiding the road. .Today, Chiang Kai-shek, the commander-in-chief of the Northern Expedition Army, first arrived in Hangzhou. Thousands of people competed to see him. The sentries were placed by the West Lake from the city station. In the past, there was Su Xiaoxiaoyoubi Xiangche, which shocked the people of Qiantang when it came out, but now the Si family is just an ordinary family. The surname is family, and the wife is a woman in her forties. She doesn't put on airs at all, and she has such dignity.in the first month One day, I heard from the maid that my wife was going to Chenghuang Mountain to burn incense. After a while, my wife came out and passed the front hall. I usually put on a good dress, and the maid helps to carry the incense basket to the gate and get on a rickshaw. I just feel that today is a good day , the sunny weather in Hangzhou city, the six streets are picturesque, and there are bees and butterflies flying on Wushan Mountain. But I tend to go wrong.Ya Shanguan was only sixteen years old at that time, and she was studying in a girls' middle school. Dress up without any girlishness.Once she met me in front of the painting hall, and I borrowed novels to read, I dedicated I went to buy it and handed it to the nanny to take it in for her. Two or three times like this, I seemed to have bad intentions, although I didn’t something.I respect each other like this in her house, so I can't help wanting to be a little rebellious.It turns out that the world is auspicious and stable, It is because it is broken every time, so it is like the sky and the earth are in danger, rather than a completed work of art.Sure enough, suddenly Ri Songde wrote a letter from Guanghua University, only a short sentence, asking me to leave his house.Right now I just feel like I'm really It is not good, and there is nowhere to go for a while, but it is also outside of good and evil, and even outside of predicament, so there is no relief .I had no choice but to resign and go back to Hu Village. Aunt Si didn't say anything. She even arranged a farewell meal for me and gave me five yuan as a way fee. Then half a year later, I went out to Hangzhou again and stayed at Si's house as a guest, and the travel expenses were only my expense. She is cheeky, but it comes naturally, and Aunt Si has no grievances, and respects each other as before.Emperor Liang Yuan picked lotus Fu, "fear Tilting the boat and laughing friendly, afraid of staining the skirt and holding back the skirt. "It turns out that good and evil in the world can be forgotten like flowers and leaves. I did something bad, You don't need to apologize to others, and you don't need to regret yourself. Although you are ashamed, it is just like the heel of a lotus-picking boat. up. 【female heart】 The following year I entered Zhongshan English School to teach in Mashi Street, Hangzhou. The principal, Wu Xuefan, was my cousin. Aunt Si made quilts for me. On the day I moved out of her house, I ate lunch in the inner courtyard. Brothers and sisters, even aunts and aunts are at the same table.I have been in the English college for a year and a half, sometimes on Saturdays or Sundays I went to see Aunt Si on Sunday, and I only talked with Brother Song in the front hall. Aunt Si must hear me coming in the inner courtyard. Ask the maid to bring out dim sum, which is wonton or shredded pork noodle soup with bamboo shoots.And then I transferred to Xianghu Normal University, which was in Xiaoshan, Xianghu, and the Si family, I rarely go. During the two years I was teaching, I sent money to Hucun’s family every month.Yufeng, I will not take her out, because the bride should When serving my mother, I don't want to form a small family, and I don't feel any alienation.My mother and Yufeng don't have to Be beside you, but just be in this world together, just like the stars in the Milky Way.When it comes to summer vacation and winter vacation, of course I will go back. In the second year after Yufeng and I got married, the fourth elder brother, the fourth sister-in-law and the third sister-in-law mobilized to separate the family, so they separated. It's not a division of production, but a division of people. Mother, Qingyun, me and Yufeng, because the eldest brother is single, and the seventh brother is a brother after death. I was the youngest in the middle school, so he helped me run the house, and I mostly relied on him for the first two years.But the eldest brother and Yufeng were at odds, he believed Third sister-in-law.The fourth elder brother and the fourth sister-in-law also speculated with the third sister-in-law, but did not speculate with Yufeng, but they never fought. The third sister-in-law is the continuation, the third brother pampered her when she was around, and the third brother passed away, she often lives in her natal family in Shaoxing City Hu Cun is only coming back temporarily.She is from the city, can talk and laugh, and bullies Yufeng as a girl from the mountain country.And because she abused She was also jealous of Qingyun, Qingyun, Niangniang and sixth aunt, and every joke was malicious.Her name is Yufeng , "Aunt Liu, you are eating hollow glutinous rice balls, Uncle Liu will not want you in the future." Yufeng was stupid and speechless. I know that I don't like my wife saying that my uncles and sisters-in-law are bad, so I don't tell me. I insulted Yufeng with words with a smile, Yufeng blushed and became anxious, so I scolded the third sister-in-law.The third sister-in-law was afraid when she saw me. Yufeng and her brother are very close, she has only one younger brother named Sui Yang, who studies in Ningbo No. 4 Middle School, must come to visit during summer vacation Sister, who lived here for more than a month, is willing to be with my niece Qingyun, and Yufeng also hopes that they will be married. Yes, but the third sister-in-law and the eldest brother just sneered, cursed at each other, and said a lot of insults to Yufengniang's family, Fortunately, the empress took care of Yufeng as usual. Once my elder brother came to Xianghu Normal School, I gave him the money to be sent to my family this month, but when I got home, he asked Yufeng said, "I have already told Ruisheng, Ruisheng said you are wrong, and I only respect Ruisheng, brother, he is very respectful. It's important, since I've been in charge of the family, every time he sends money, he writes that the elder brother accepts it.How are you? I want Rui in the future. Shengyi will take you back to Tangxi in a sedan chair! " Yufeng was really panicked when she heard this.In fact, big brother didn't say anything in front of me. , that time he came, but I asked him, how is mother?He answered yes.What about Yufeng again?He answered as usual. I thanked him for his hard work in managing the family, and he said, "I only hope that your younger brother will come out of the mountain. The family will always be miserable, but it will be better if you go down." some up. "I don't know what he said when he came home. The empress told Yufeng not to believe my brother's nonsense.Qingyun was thirteen years old at that time, Yufeng discussed everything with her, Qingyun More categorically said that Uncle Six would not.Yufeng said, "I also know that your sixth uncle can't." Seeing Ruisheng, the empress also agreed.She entrusted Yuyun to take care of her mother, and she embraced her second daughter, Di, who was only three months old. Yun, who had never traveled far in his life, went straight to Xiaoshan alone and came to Xianghu Normal School. When I saw Yufeng coming, I was surprised.The female colleagues and their wives in the school are all modern, but Yufeng is a mountain I don't feel ashamed because of vanity and snobbery.When I was studying in Huilan Middle School in previous years, my father Look at me, I don't like it either.I saw the same thing with other students. Whenever someone from the family came, they quietly picked up the things, and only May he go away quickly. There is a classmate named Yu whose father is a famous businessman in Hangzhou. Red in the face.Because I saw my relatives in front of the world.In addition, the Buddha's famous scriptures are good and ashamed to surpass the Buddha, as in old Chinese novels. When the hero wins the battle or hits the red heart with an arrow, every time he secretly screams ashamed, and who in the Yuan opera was promoted or dug his heart Treasures, or a coincidence match, are said to be pitiful for saints or gods, because they saw their own treasures in front of the world. already.Now I felt like someone called my name in the deep mountains. I hurried to the school gate to pick up Yufeng, and even Don't dare to speak up.I also pay more attention to Yufeng's appearance and dress than anyone else.In Dream of Red Mansions, Daiyu and all the sisters are Just joking, it was Baoyu who was paying attention. He winked, and Daiyu went in and looked in the mirror. It was because her temples were loose. .This is because it is one of our own. But Yufeng is not intimidated when she comes to the birthplace, because her husband is in charge, because husband and wife have such great faith in the world. .But she is also confused, she came here just to ask me to understand, but when she sees me, she immediately feels at ease, only like She asked me perfunctorily, and when I heard that my elder brother didn't tell me anything about her, I didn't know about it. She doesn't need me to explain my heart, or even to say words of comfort to her. I spent the night in Xianghu, and Yufeng went home the next day, and I took her to Xiaoshan bus station.it was spring , ten miles of Xianghu Lake with one leaf boat, four mountains open all over Yingshanhong, although it is sunny, when the boat travels by the side of the mountain, the morning sun does not shine The local flowers and branches are still wet with dew.In the boat are me and Yufeng. I hold the baby, and Yufeng just sits upright next to me. After Yufeng passed away, I talked about it with Qingyun. Qingyun said that Aunt Six had been worried that Uncle Six would be unwell in the future. If you want her, she has lived through the hard times, and the blessings will be enjoyed by the newcomers.But Yufeng herself never confessed to me until she was seriously ill. She didn't know it, and once she said, "You treat me well. It's just that you said once that you haven't done anything since you married me. Satisfied, I have listened to this sentence and kept it in my heart. "After that she sighed.i explained that i was angry with her When he deliberately wanted to hurt her, it turned out that he didn't mean what he said, but she just listened quietly. Yufeng treats me like the White Snake Empress treats Xu Xian. She is so grateful to know that the wind and sun in the fairyland are like others in the world. Well, that's why I was always worried that Xu Xian would not want her.She humbled herself as a bride and was willing to suffer all kinds of grievances, but the husband The wife's great faith, on the contrary, seems to be true and false, like Du Fu's poem "Farewell to the Newly Married", "The concubine's identity is not clear, why do you worship my aunt." Bai Lady Snake has cultivated human body, but she still has doubts and doubts at that time, it is such a concubine whose identity is not clear, and like Lin Daiyu also shed tears because of the unclear life events between her living at her grandmother's house and Baoyu's.golden ten thousand taels It's easy to get, but hard to find a confidant, and even when we meet face to face, it's still like "from Gaotang into a dream, the boat People pointed it out to this day and doubt it.” I was away from home, and Yufeng was in Hu Village. She cooks tea and rice in the kitchen, does needlework on the eaves in front of the hall, and goes under the bridge. When I go to the well to wash clothes and draw water, I only remember me.Li Qunyu's poems, The spring grass in front of Huangling Temple gave birth to Huangling's daughter Qian skirt Light boats and small oars sing to go to the far waters and mountains There are such long waters and long mountains in the world, and Yufeng also has such worries.Every time she and the empress want to say something about Ruisheng , Before she could say half of it, she was ashamed to laugh when she saw the empress laughing, but she was really happy in her heart. It's like saying nothing.She and Qingyun talked all kinds of intimate things, but it was like saying nothing , because the two of them, one for her husband and the other for her sixth uncle, are satisfied. China does not have the religion of the West, but it has a sense of immortality. The world can be compared to "spring comes with peach blossoms, and the source of immortality cannot be discerned." Where can I find it?" I feel melancholy.Confucius said that a gentleman has lifelong worries, and Cao Cao's generosity should be generous, and his worries will be unforgettable. Even Lin Daiyu's lingering sentimentality is all about this kind of melancholy.Lin Daiyu thinks a lot, her person is like, Poor willow, sad tree, poor peach, plum, heartbroken flower This is also the demeanor of a sage and a hero.But Yufeng is just more simple.she is in the bible , "The spring is late, and the woman's heart is sad." Yufeng never expressed jealousy to me, or took precautions against me.On her deathbed, she mentioned the words I broke her heart , It is also because she has forgiven it, but it is just used to write off, and thinking of her own life's merits and deeds, so And that sigh again. At that time, I was in love with a woman in Hangzhou, that is, the younger sister of my classmate Yu Jun, who was called Si Xiao at home. sister's.When I was young, I was greedy for the prosperity of Hangzhou, and the Yu family was everyone, and young people like to have a name in everything, love It's for a purpose.But I'm clumsy and honest, and of course I can't succeed.My wife is Yufeng until the end, Thinking about it now, I can't stop thinking about Yufeng. The relationship between husband and wife in Chinese civilization is actually indescribable.Liang Shanbo could not imagine that Zhu Yingtai was a woman, And it could be his wife, Zhu Yingtai used all sorts of examples in Sending Eighteen, but he still didn't know and got angry.I Yufeng and Yufeng have become husband and wife, and I am still so confused.Really, "This feeling can be regarded as a memory, but At that time, I was at a loss. " 【Life and death limit】 Su Shi was demoted to the south, followed by Chaoyun. Chaoyun was originally a woman who sang, fanned and danced sleeves, but when she was in Huizhou, she only cooked tea. Meals, doing needlework, so many joys and sorrows in the world, are just such ordinary days, ordinary two people.Su Shi As her epitaph, it is only a short one hundred words. When did Chaoyun come to my house and treat me wholeheartedly for fifteen years, She is a person who knows the etiquette. She came to Huizhou with me. On a certain day of the month, she became ill and died of reciting the Liuru verses of the Diamond Sutra. I will bury her here. cloud.In addition, how beautiful and intelligent she was born, her feelings about her life experience, and her mourning words, she didn't mention a word.I hide from wild goose When Shan Shi read it in Su Shi's comprehensive case, he burst into tears unknowingly.In the world, all the floating flowers and waves can be exhausted like this, But knowing each other by life, Yufeng and I have been husband and wife for seven years, and we have no regrets. That summer vacation, I left Xianghu Normal University and returned to Hucun. I planned to go to Guangxi in the spring of the following year. During the Eighth War, roads were impassable, and Yufeng was sick, so I stayed at home for a year.Yufeng was originally weak and was late for the wedding It's the same reason at the age of 21. When I come to my house, I have a slight fever after working hard, and I always have something on my mind, which makes my body even worse. go.Usually she has a fever, and as soon as she turns at night I wake up to light the lamp and pour tea for her, and finally the malaria lingers. She was dragged down, and even became ill with tuberculosis. She was bedridden and could not move. I had to pick her up to defecate. She only said this What my heart does should be my service to you, I'm really sorry.She never sighed because of her poor family, but she always felt that Her illness cost a lot more. Yufeng was still crying in panic at first, I helped her sit up and drink the soup, she said, "I can't die!" Although I comforted and encouraged her with words, my heart was shocked to hear what she said.She is for this world, for the relatives in front of her. People, there are major events that have not been accomplished, and great favors that have not been repaid. With this thought, the unresolved feelings in this life will be unresolved in the next life. Wrong. And she knows that she can't afford it, which is another kind of wisdom and clarity, no longer sad, just like Huiming's song "I was originally There is no care to come and go", and it is like the silver man turning the jade plate silently, the joys and sorrows of the world surpass itself. Seeing her like this, I couldn't help crying on the side of the pillow. My hot tears wet her face, but she still remained silent. Yes, just look at me and call me Ruisheng.I cried, "If you are not good, I will never marry a wife again in this life. She said, "No, you should remarry." It was like what the sister said to the younger brother, and it was clearly the wife's heart. .She said, "I will protect you after death." My mother came to see Yufeng before the bed. Yufeng called her mother and said, "I will never get better from this disease. I can't It is because I am not filial to serve my mother for a hundred years. "Yufeng is the zodiac snake, my mother dreamed that a snake came from the kitchen Swimming out of the back door, seeing her like this again at this moment, I can't help but get red eyes, but I still hold back, and reprimanded with a smile, " You are young, don't say such things, and you have to live for Rui.The empress does not have a daughter, it depends on you to be a daughter . " My father-in-law was originally a Chinese medicine doctor. Since Yufeng was seriously ill, he came to my house to see a doctor.In the first year of marriage, Yufeng Whenever she said that her father lost money for the dowry, my mother once said with a smile, "Yufengduan is an obedient daughter. But The clothes and quilts your father bought for you are not really worth the money. "Yufeng blushed and became angry when she heard that, and I still felt The mother shouldn't tell the truth, but this statement made Yufeng an adult and no longer a child. It turns out that children believe in their parents. , You must also understand everything, even I have learned from this statement.My father-in-law loves his daughter very much, and he is a good man, He is only born stingy and sticky, not a cheerful person.He also values ​​me, but the poor family is always not considerate to the patients. Feeling distressed, I couldn't help but say to my daughter, "I am the father who wronged you for such a family." Unexpectedly, Yu Feng was angry, because these words insulted her seven years as a bride. So I went to Yu Fu Village.I didn't explain it, but my mother, Yufeng and even Qingyun all knew that it was a way to make money .Back then when I married Yufeng, I went to the Yu family to hold wedding banquets, usually for three dynasties, and played drums and music to visit the ancestral hall. The etiquette of the elders in Yeli was ready for everything, but when she left the next day, she said coldly, "You and your wife don't need to come again. . "Of course I'm not happy.This time I went, she knew why I came, but when I talked about Yufeng's illness, she always Don't even care.But if I asked for money, I would not ask for it, because family affection should be her beauty. I stayed at Yu's house for a few days, and my family sent Brother Mei Xiang to tell me to go back, so I had no choice but to talk to my stepmother, but She said, "Where is the money at home?" I kept silent, got up and walked out, and only said to Brother Mei Xiang, "I'll go After Shaoxing, return to Hu Village. "Brother Mei Xiang was stunned.It's already half afternoon, it's May weather, the sun has slanted The drying yard behind the house, I passed the drying yard, crossed the stream and crossed the ridge to the Baiguan Pier, and my mother-in-law chased me out of the back door and called me , I didn't even look back.Shaoxing has a colleague of mine, Chen Haifan, and a classmate, Ma Xiaoan, and I am going to borrow from them. Money, back and forth in three days.However, there is a sixty-mile mountain road from Yufu Village to Baiguan, and I only walked a dozen miles, and the sky has turned At night, there was a sudden thunder, and the mountains, rocks, vegetation, and trees were full of lightning and sound. I was wet all over and went on. But my killing-like determination has gradually become ridiculous, and I clearly feel that I am acting, that life is This kind of anger and coquetry, where is there a serious break?I will turn around.Turning is anticlimactic and will be I don't care about ridicule.When I arrived at Yu's house, it was nearly midnight, and my mother-in-law heard a knock on the door in the heavy rain, and it was me who came back. I was so happy that I got up and lit the lamp to open the door without waking up the maid, knowing that I hadn't eaten supper yet, so she prepared the wine and food by herself , just like the kindness and affection I received when I was a child. I stayed at Yu's house for another three days, but I felt that the years were barren and I was confused. Since I couldn't get money, I would go back. It was in vain, so I broke my heart.There is no difference between me and Yufeng, it's not that she is seriously ill at home but I am at ease, Yufeng What happened to Feng means that I myself encountered a catastrophe.Every time I face a major event, no matter it is a major event like a defeat or fleeing, Disasters, even festivities in the bridal chamber, promotion of official positions and treasures, or seeing peerless beauties, stunning on the Sansheng Stone, or meeting a generation I will suddenly be relieved of such a happy event as a hero who takes full care of each other, and I will return to the beginning of the world, as if nothing happened. People, and the most ruthless people.In front of such a big event, I returned myself to the world, just like a An upright and obedient child obeys orders. But he said that that day when Mei Xiang returned to Hu Village, it was already dusk. As soon as he entered the door, he angrily told my mother, While cursing, calling me Chen Shimei from Jade Hairpin, there is no such heartless person in the world.my mother The elder brother didn't think so, and said, "Ruisheng is not that kind of person." Yufeng was also very angry when he heard it upstairs , said in a bitter voice, "This Mei Xiang is a big talker!" Although Qingyun can't talk about Uncle Mei Xiang, she still helps Sixth Uncle in her heart.Jade Phoenix After my mother passed away, my mother talked about this passage, and I was not even grateful when I heard it. A person once had such knowledge. No matter what happens to him in his life, his faith in the world will not be shaken. My mother and Qingyun seemed to apologize to Yufeng on my behalf because I was not here, but they only felt ashamed. smile, and don’t say words of explanation or comfort, because Yufeng doesn’t want it either. De Ruisheng is hers. During Yufeng's illness, her consciousness became more and more clear, and she could clearly hear the voices of people talking in front of the downstairs hall and in the kitchen.building On the front road, someone was hoeing a lotus to go to the field, and walked by singing Shengxian opera, which was about Panfu, Officials.Officials are like the moon in the sky, and being a wife is really like the moon and the stars. When the moon is bright, the stars are also bright. The moon is dark and the stars are also dim.If an official has a thousand catties to carry, and he takes five hundred catties for his wife, what do you have now? What's so difficult, tell your wife quickly and clearly. Yufeng heard every sentence in her heart, but she was so sick that she didn't even have any emotion.Now like a moon star Rarely, her star on the edge of the moon didn't faint and fall, but just disappeared in the moon.The official's heavy burden, Now she can't pick and choose, but since she is one of her own, she must forgive, so her face is still so calm. quiet. When I'm not at home, I'm always served by Qingyun.Yufeng is a thrifty person on weekdays, and even when she was ill, she asked Qingyun to take her bedside The lamp was blown out to save lamp oil. Later my mother told me about it and wiped her tears with her sleeve. When she was dying, Yufeng told Qingyun, "I treat you like a sister, and you treat me closer than your own mother. Although I can't Thank you, and you are also a blessing.Madam, I hope to be your companion for a few more years of filial piety, but I don’t can. "Qing Yun has been weeping uncontrollably, and my mother and father-in-law are also beside the bed, no matter how much I try to bear it, I can't help it, those tears It flows down like a broken bead.I only heard Yufeng call Aqi to come to the bed, and said to Qingyun, "Aqi now Four years old, I entrust him to you, I am at ease.From now on, you will serve your empress alone and raise Aqi, and I will succumb to you. in protection.A Qi will grow up in the future, do you know me as a mother, remember you as a sister, it is him But your sixth uncle will thank you. "Qingyun cried bitterly, "Aunt Six, I will give you every word you ordered. Listen, but I want you to be a human being alive, and you miss your little sister Diyun too! "Di Yun is only one and a half years old, because The mother's illness has become a milk tuberculosis, and she is hugged in her sister's arms.Yufeng was about to cry at this time and there was no more tears, so she just Quietly looked at Qingyun, then at Diyun, told Qingyun not to be sad, and said, "Diyun can't grow up, I will take. " She called her empress again, and said, "I have been a bride for seven years, and my empress has never said a harsh word to me. Ruisheng is not responsible. I have prepared that I don't know how to serve my mother, and people say that our mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can talk about it. This is the grace of my mother, and I know it in my heart. of.After I go, Qingyun will be filial to her mother, so I am relieved.The empress is a person of good fortune and longevity, and the empress Guan Yun will live a long life .If Rui gets married after his birthday, the couple will always be worthy of him. A Qi will be led by Niang Niang and Qing Yun. I know about his father's abuse by his wife, and I will never do it. "The empress said, "The empress is old, as long as you If you grow up with Rui for a long time, you have to be determined to be a human being. "When he said that, he stroked Yufeng's eyebrows with his hands, and Yufeng was only quiet. caressed.The empress smiled again with tears in her eyes, "Such an obedient little person, since the empress is blessed according to you, she will always be happy." To be able to keep your bride. "Father-in-law cried, "Ah Feng, if you are not well, why don't you ask me to be your father? Why don't you see your mother. " Waiting for the father-in-law to stop crying, Yufeng said, "Father, my daughter has ruined her parents' hands and feet all her life. Go back and tell your mother not to do it." so sad.Dad is also getting old now, there are not many people in the family, mother's life is also hard work, dad can't always Complaining and shouting at your mother, and there is still food at home, you should always be calm and take things lightly.Brother, you sent a message to him If you study well, you can talk to your brother-in-law in the future.Father and mother treat Ruisheng as they did when I was here, and when the time comes, send someone to come Look at nephew. " Hearing what his daughter said, the father-in-law burst into tears again, and said, "If you end up like this, how can you be called Daddy so heartbroken?" .You are wronged, I am the father, I am sorry for you! But Yufeng became impatient and said, "This is fate. Destined, I am also content. " She called Ruisheng talking to herself, and then said to Qingyun, "Your sixth uncle? There is still a piece of ginseng I made, you can fry it and I will eat it. "When the fried rice came to eat, she wanted to sit up again, Qing Yun quickly went to help her, she wanted to comb her hair by herself, and after combing her hair, she helped her to sleep, and she died.Everyone upstairs Let's mourn together, cry loudly, and look at the shadow of the sun. On the fifth day, he was twenty-eight years old. That day I was eating breakfast at Yu's house, and when Yufeng was dying, the stepmother was still moving the food and told me to eat first. I raised my chopsticks, feeling sad for no reason, and the tears flowed down, dripping into the rice bowl.I rush Busily put down the bowls and chopsticks, went to sit by the bed for a rest, still feeling very sad in my heart.And my adoptive mother called me, so I went to eat half A bowl of rice, she thought she had sensed something from my face, but she didn't say anything. After dinner, I said I was going to Hu Village, and my foster mother said, "Really, you should go back and have a look, leave your wife at home. sick. "I didn't answer, and I didn't ask for money, so I got up and left.At this time, I only feel that worry is also something outside of me. But if you want to look at Yufeng, it's like I am a flower god traveling, and I suddenly want to return to her natal tree. peach blossom.My natal tree is Yufeng, and Yufeng and I have the same fate. I walked ten miles, and before I was halfway, I met my fourth brother who came to catch up. I heard from him that Wang Feng died this morning, but I Don't want to cry at all.My fourth brother and I went to Zhangzhen. The fourth brother went to see the coffin, and I went to Cheng Kui's house to borrow money. Cheng Kui borrowed my living room to open a restaurant and pharmacy to start his business. He has the toughness of a villager in Dieshi Village. In his early years, he relied on physical strength and , was overworked in starting a business among trees and rocks in the mountains and villages. This year, he was only over forty, and his body was already ruined. Later, he turned to high school interest rate.When he started his business, he was very courageous, and he learned how to be a corporal and respect Shinto sages, but now he has become afraid Superstition, the earlier frugality has become mean, and talent has become sympathetic to the foolish and weak.Now Yinshan Township has The bandits, he avoided living in Zhangzhen.Since I was a child, he can afford it, so I asked him to borrow 60 yuan for the funeral. He simply refused, saying no.But he stays and sits attentively, and I also rest for a while, drinking tea in silence . At this time, two more people came outside, and they also asked Cheng Kui to borrow money. The loan was five hundred yuan, and the interest was one and a half cents for many years. , cash on the spot.I was so angry that I stood up and wanted to leave, but Cheng Kui insisted on keeping me for lunch. Walking is not enough on an empty stomach, just eat when you eat.After dinner, I came out, I told my fourth brother, and hurried away Turning back to Yufu Village, I was so angry all the way, I couldn't help but shouted "Kill!" As soon as I arrived at Yu's house and saw my adoptive mother on the eaves, I said that now I want 60 yuan to attend the funeral.She Knows Jade Without Asking Feng was dead, and he was also emotional, but he didn't show it on his face, but said, "You talk so fresh, my family Is there any money there? "I said you bring the key, and she threw the key to me, and I opened the cash drawer. Seeing that there were 700 foreign dollars in cash, and the packages were neatly arranged, I opened one, took out 60 yuan, and closed the cash drawer , hand back the key, and leave.The mother-in-law laughed, "After all, I was defeated!" When she said that, her eyes turned red, My throat has changed, so I don't answer, just walk out the door. When I arrived in Zhangzhen, the fourth brother had taken a good look at the coffin. He used to be a carpenter, so he was an expert. Carry it home with the people who came with me. Zhangzhen is 20 miles away from Yufu Village, and 20 miles away from Hu Village. On the way, the fourth brother said, This coffin is worth forty yuan, and thirty-five yuan is cheap. When resting in the road pavilion, he also talked to the countrymen passing by. , Everyone said that the material is good, I am very proud, I just feel that this coffin is really the best in the world.I am with The fourth brother calculated the funeral expenses, and the remaining twenty-five yuan was enough. The fourth brother said that the grave will be built in the next year, and it will be in the lower edge of the mountain. Bricks are ready-made, and this year, he will be buried next to Yulingdun's father's grave. This kind of ostentation is finally decent, and I am more and more happy when I hear it .Logically, I should be sad, but the difficulty of human affairs has become another kind of solemnity. We walked to Riying Mountain before arriving home. We saw a coffin hanging in front of the hall, and all the relatives and guests were present. They saw the coffin carried When they arrived, they all came out to watch in the court. The painter repeatedly praised the good material, and started to paint.At this time, I can hear Qingyun in front of the hall 說六叔回來了，她與守靈幃的堂姐妹們當即舉哀，我亦仍是那樣的好精神，自以 為做了這樣一樁大事，玉鳳見了我必要誇讚，說我能幹的。 我上靈堂搴幃進去，見玉鳳挺在板上，蓋著心頭被，臉龐變得很小，像個十 二三歲未經人事的女孩，我只覺詫異，立在她枕邊叫聲「玉鳳，我回來了」。but 是我想到應當哭，便也急不暇擇的努力使自己哭了一回。哭過之後，我仍站在板 頭看她，俯身下去以臉偎她的臉，又去被底攜她的手，輕聲叫她，忽然我真的一 股熱淚湧出，來不及避開已經沾濕了她的面頰，我一驚，因聽說親人的熱淚不可 滴在亡者臉上，她下世投生要成痣。但是成痣也好，因是我的淚，來世可以認得 ，玉鳳呀。 我攜玉鳳的手，她的手仍是很柔軟的。又見她眼睛微微露開一線，我輕輕撫 她的眼皮，她就闔眼了。她腳後頭點著一盞燈，在世為人時，她是皆在蓮花路上 行的。 我出靈幃，到正房見母親，母親含淚帶笑叫我蕊生，那一聲叫裡有萬種憐惜 ，我不覺又哭起來。其後入殮。入殮時杵作把玉鳳抬起，我與啟兒捧頭，青芸捧 腳，放進棺內，又把玉鳳要帶去的東西都放好，看過都端正了，就闔上棺蓋，我 不能想像這是最後的一面，從此不能再見了，聽眾人一齊舉哀，心裡竟也不能悲 cut.其後做道場破地獄，四歲的啟兒渾身縞素，伏下地去喝那碗紅糖水，為生身 之母喝乾血污池，這裡的母子之親，而他還如此幼小，我看著一陣悽涼酸楚，不 覺眼淚滿眶。 第三天出殯，許多人送上山。出殯了回來，下午的太陽荒荒，樓上樓下空空 落落，惟見母親坐在灶間，我走去叫得一聲「姆媽」，就伏在她膝上放聲大哭起 Come.有一種悲哀竟不是悲哀，單是肝腸斷裂。 此後二十年來，我惟有時看社會新聞，或電影並不為那故事或劇情，卻單是 無端的感觸，偶然會潸然淚下。乃至寫我自己的或他人的往事，眼淚滴在稿紙上 的事，亦是有的。但對於怎樣天崩地裂的災難，與人世的割恩斷愛，要我流一滴 淚總也不能了。我是幼年時的啼哭都已還給了母親，成年後的號泣都已還給玉鳳 ，此心已回到了如天地不仁。 【路入南中】 玉鳳出殯後過得兩個月，我到廣西去教書。是崔真吾介紹，除了我還有馬孝 安與陳海帆，真吾亦同行。行前我把俞家贈我的竹園賣了，價銀一百二十元，三 十元留給母親安家，九十元我做路費。俞家庶母當然不快，卻裝得灑然，而我亦 不顧。 從上海去香港的海船上，孝安海帆言談甚豪，他兩個與真吾都是新文學者， 有錢人家子弟。獨有我的情形難比他們，且因玉鳳新亡，鮮言寡笑，每每一人到 甲板上看月亮，聽風濤打擊船身。真吾賀我喪妻是從舊式婚姻得了解放，我當下 大怒，差一點沒有發作。孝安與海帆又笑我的草帽陳舊，在房艙裡拿它拋擲為樂 ，我很不喜這種輕薄。他們都算是五四運動以來的新人，真吾倒沒有改，孝安海 帆卻因家境在逐年走向下坡了，慷慨也變得不自然，待人不免為勢利分出上落， 想起卓文君的白頭吟，「男兒重意氣，何用錢刀為」，我不禁為他兩個難受。he 兩個都捧真吾，三人凡在說一樁事情，總是一股正經，我只可在局外。但我的一 生中，令我自慚形穢的漂亮人兒與莊嚴事兒，後來本色相見，原來都不漂亮莊嚴 . 船過廈門時，我跟他們上岸遊公園，此地已是炎方南中，只見一派海氣驕陽 ，白雲急雨，採得紅豆回船。他們各把紅豆寄給愛人，我把紅豆放在衣箱裡三年 .及到香港，我跟他們住了兩天旅館，一同上街飲茶喫叉燒包，茶樓裡招待的廣 東姐兒們倒是灑落挑撻，卻自有一種正直。孝安海帆到公司買襯衫，都是上等貨 .我不買。 後來到梧州，卻聽說教育廳長李任仁提出張海鰲當一中校長，省府會議通不 過。原先是張已內定了，李廳長同意他聘請我們的，現在我們可是還去南寧不去 Woolen cloth?真吾說已經到得此地，還是去，請李廳長另外設法。孝安海帆齊聲道、「此 行原為南中有朋友山水之樂，若為一百二十元月薪，那裡去不得，要這樣路遠來 教書？我是到南寧看看，好就多玩幾天，不合心苗就鞭馬而回。」惟有我不言語 ，只覺生死有命，富貴在天，倒也心裡一橫。孝安還說、「只是蘭成的情形不同 ，此去但凡有個機會，我與海帆就讓給蘭成。」當下我聽了亦不接口。 到得南寧，同去見李廳長，李廳長倒也負責，但各處中學已於前一兩天開學 ，且三人都是文史教員，臨時要安插實在也難。我們且搬到真吾處暫住。真吾在 黨部及第四集團軍總司令部政訓處做事，住的公寓是稱為白屋的一幢洋房。at night 樓下院子裡夜來香濃烈得一陣陣如潮水般漲溢，樓上聽得見街上的夜氣暑氣也都 像是有萬千言語，時有賣唱的人吹簫管經過，那種簫管我在別處沒有聽見過，吹 的調門是粵謳，那聲音的繁華只能是生在海市如沸，村中檳榔葉暗，木棉花紅的 南中。 第三日李廳長叫真吾來說，一中有個空缺，問我們三人中誰去？我不好開言 ，海帆想要說但是難為情，卻聽孝安對真吾道、「我還是下午就搬行李進去呢？ 還是先去見了校長，也帶便看了教員宿舍？一中的房間若好，我住校亦可以的。 」一中就在南寧。翌日我們到校裡去看過孝安一回，果然已經諸事舒齊。再過星 期，李廳長又叫真吾來說桂林三中有個空缺，問我與海帆誰去？我仍不言語，海 帆就訴說他出來時家境已相當為難，他需要職業，且桂林山水是他所想望一遊的 .翌晨真吾與孝安送他上汽車，我亦去送他的。 如此只剩下我一人，仍住在白屋。這公寓白晝很靜，諸人皆去機關辦公，樓 上連屋瓦與走廊都發出驕陽的音響。我初來不服水土，就病倒了。卻不知是甚麼 病名，亦不延醫服藥，時時發熱譫語，醒來只仰面看天花板，此時惟有一個念頭 ，等病好了我去江西加入紅軍，但此念是從平靜的心底生起，對人世一點仇恨亦 沒有的。我病在床上二十日，忽一夜夢見玉鳳，她煎藥給我喫，醒來渾身汗津津 ，頓覺神志清爽，天明就起來得，也喫得飯了。當天我出去到街上稍稍散步，回 來卻見桌上有李廳長的介紹名片，到這時候一中竟還有教員出缺。我就補了進去 . 一中教員廣東人多，他們沒有江浙人的文氣，卻吵吵鬧鬧，大說大笑，呼朋 引類喫東西，這我倒是喜愛。星期一在大禮堂開紀念週，學生在台下，校長教員 在台上，教員中忽有七八個一齊頭戴紅頂子瓜皮帽，坐在那裡一笑不笑。在教員 宿舍裡常常追逐為戲，學生見了亦不以為意，有時已打上課鐘，教員房裡還在角 力，一個被撳倒在地，背上擱一枚板凳，凳上把面盆茶壺茶盃墨水瓶等甚麼都擱 上，面盆裡又滿是水，好讓他起不來，那一個就管自去上課了，這一個卻一撐起 身，豁啷啷把面盆茶裡都打翻，也神色泰然去上課了。我當即與他們相習，往往 看過一回書，便到同事的房裡去撩、「我們來打一架好麼？」他也放下事情道、 「好呀，不打架還是人麼！」如此就又角力。 同事中惟國民黨員與桂林籍的風雅之士，於我性情不宜。公民教員黃鈞達是 省黨部委員，大家與他少有來往，訓育主任姓潘，他每每講述白副總司令的飲食 起居，我亦不喜聽。一中與女中的教員一晚在省黨部聯歡聚宴，這潘主任坐在我 傍邊，聽他又講說，我時已醉，因道、「你們廣西人真小氣，我家鄉近地出了個 蔣介石，我都平然。」他一怔，卻笑問、「那麼你不佩服白副總司令？」我怒他 這句話問得陰毒，乘醉大聲道、「他也不過是白崇禧罷了，而我自是胡蘭成。」 他再拿話引我，我大怒道、「你是想叫我說出反對白崇禧，你聽著、我就叫一聲 打倒白崇禧！」當下我只見席上凌亂，女中的體育教員，我今已忘了她的姓名， 大約是個共產黨員，常時倒待我很好，今見我闖禍，她就領頭叫眾人都唱歌來掩 蓋，我被用汽車送回來。 翌日下午酒醒，我記起昨晚的事，心裡很不自在，又是星期日學校裡空蕩蕩 ，我就去到馬孝安房裡，他臉色十分難看，發話道、「真吾介紹你我來此地教書 ，你今闖下這樣大禍，豈不連累於我，且你也對不起真吾。」我本來也知愧，但 他這樣說，我倒是不服，而且不樂，心裡想這馬孝安，他平時的豪放何在了？I 遂道、「對真吾我此刻沒有適當的話，但我必負責不致牽累到你的。」孝安兀自 怨恨道、「你還不牽累我？你使我只可離開廣西了，總不能為戀飯碗把命也送掉 . 」到底還是真吾，他倒沒有怎樣說，雖然他亦不以我為然，而我亦不對他表示 Feel sorry.自這回闖禍幸得無事，我就多年不曾再醉。 下學期一中仍續聘我，偏是孝安不得續聘，他真的只可離開廣西回紹興了。 這馬孝安，昔年他在蕙蘭畢業，又去廈門大學讀書回來，住在杭州，用錢完全是 大少爺的派頭。他研究西洋文學，做得好白話詩，舊詩亦甚艷，學王次回，卻遠 比王次回的好，在杭州就只飲酒遊西湖，與他的愛人鍾小姐，兩人可比三潭印月 ，一個是潭水，一個是印在潭水裡的月亮。那鍾小姐在人前只是抿著嘴唇笑，更 見得是出身名門，甚麼都大有深意。馬孝安是凡接到鍾小姐的信，他臉上即刻非 常正經嚴肅，這也是極應當的。但我總覺得不對，即因其太應當，而又太喫力。 如此數年，到他從廣西回去後，到底離了先前的妻，與鍾小姐成其夫妻，在紹興 家居，一個退化為沒落的地主，一個變得蓬頭垢面，生男育女，俗到風韻全無。 禮記裡說弊盡而不見惡，他們卻這樣的經不得。 後來陳海帆亦離開桂林三中回紹興去了，就只剩下我一人在廣西，從南寧又 轉到百色及柳州，教書凡五年。在那五年裡，我夙興夜寢，專門研究馬克思主義 .這雖是因我年少氣盛，哀樂過人，但中華民國實亦要有一個反省，何況民間起 兵開創新朝的氣運，雖經過辛亥革命，軍閥內戰，及國民革命軍北伐，尚遼遼未 央，所謂人心思反。 玉鳳病死的那年我在胡村，所見景象已與我小時的大不相同，左右鄰舍都窮 到連幾毛錢亦無處借，有如日暮群雞的荒愁，連社戲十番都衰歇了。有錢人如馮 成奎的刻薄，闇淡驚懼於迷信，及外面紹興那樣大地方出來的新式紳士馬孝安陳 海帆的藐小破落，皆使我憂傷發怒。第一中華民國現在這樣貧弱總不是事，孟子 讚大禹亦因他的功利在天下，所以馬克思主義的功利遂合