Chapter 22 Bed is the grave of youth (5)

Bed is the grave of youth (5) When I wrote this, I found that there was a bright autumn sun outside the window, as bright as neon clothes.I think of the spots of light floating in the depths of memory, and the blanks scattered in the dark.Like a disobedient child, I lifted the curtain of a drama that has not yet begun, piously and mischievously peeping at the joys and sorrows of life.Those who hide in all kinds of faces deduce their heroic love and strategy on the ruins of hymns.In this kind of tentative description, I tore up my life with carefree malice, and took it out of context, which led me to be wrong again and again.But not guilty.Because for people who have always kept their rebelliousness intact and lived by the rules, their lives are dead before they are torn apart.

Chekhov said that if the life that has been lived is just a draft, it would be great to have a copy.But I think, my sloppy youth and perhaps the same sloppy life are beautiful, and I have not become a stunner for materialistic hunting. In Qu He’s notebook, there is this passage: It turns out that some things are really complete inadvertently, and some people are really destined beyond imagination. ... No matter what kind of body God gave me, I have staged seventeen years of joys and sorrows, some people and some things are so clearly engraved in the scenery along the way.I learned stability, learned to lie, learned to be calm, learned to be silent, and learned to persevere.The joy in tossing and turning was shattered into a piece of glass, and I stood in the wind and swept them into the darkest corner of my heart.It doesn't matter anymore.Smiling to others with such bright eyes and white teeth, the soul is thin and the shadow is hesitant.Only strength is everywhere.

So if you have any misfortune, you have to bear it yourself, comfort is sometimes stretched, and if you are not strong, you have to fight strong.We don't have no clothes, no food, no family and no relatives. We have no right to be sad, and we can still write about happiness for a long time.