Chapter 18 Bed is the grave of youth (3) (1)

Bed is the grave of youth (3) (1) I can't stop thinking about you and everything about you.The rain in the early morning, the warm sunshine on the outskirts of the city in May, the last few steps on the northwest corner of the teaching building, your gentle face after I woke up, and your name I shouted from the window sill on the seventh floor. passed away.These color-dissociated pictures constitute the entire background of my failed first love, like ancient murals, lingering in the caress of the years.The hesitation you wrote on the beach was swept away by the tide, but engraved in my heart like a bronze engraving.In those years when I was young and dangerous, I was always hesitant and hesitant to express my endless desire for your care, childish and persistent, which made you helpless, but you are so kind, always It was you who came out to accompany me wandering on the street as soon as I called, and called me home when you were too sleepy until the early morning, but I was still childishly reluctant to part.

Do you still remember that during the May holiday, we walked to the countryside on a whim in one afternoon, and we kept walking, and along the way, there was the smell of rural soil, a little dry, and even mixed with the smell of livestock.The wind was not strong, shaking the tall branches of the trees, rattling, dirt dogs, boys running wildly, and dust flying.The sun's tears fell on our shoulders and faces.We walked so far and so far, and at the end of the city, we saw large areas of abandoned warehouses and factories, as well as dilapidated poor houses.This scene is a bit like a brief lull after the climax of European cinema has passed.The sun was gradually setting, and we stood by the river to sort out our happy mood and tired smiles.contented.

When I went back, I fell behind you and dragged my feet.The trail of happiness is always so short, can we hang on to it? When I went home to take a bath and saw my tanned face, I felt sweet and happy, but at the same time there was no lack of sentimentality. After all, such a beautiful afternoon can only lie in the memories. Do you still remember the vacation after graduation, we went to the virgin forest with few tourists.The stream is as clear and cheerful as a lover's tears, the roar of tigers in the mountains and forests, the chirping of birds and the chirping of birds, and the early morning mist are wrapped around the skin like silk.We climbed to the top of the mountain and saw the rich green, spreading to the distance layer by layer, occasionally interrupted by a farmhouse, a white pagoda, and a group of flying herons, so the green became lively and I could touch it.

We stood on the top of the mountain that day, and the wind was blowing, and I really wanted to cry.I want to tell you, my love, but finally went down the mountain in silence, with inexplicable depression, because I still failed to bring a camera. That night we lived in a damp, small wooden house, and the night was divided into small pieces by the sandalwood window lattice, which flowed in together with the cold wind. I also saw so many fireflies for the first time, in the dark Flying calmly and melancholy.Dangling like a little bit of time we once had. I sat on the bed alone and drank two cans of beer.Talk to you, watch you fall asleep.Then he walked gently into the yard, looking at the cabin and feeling inexplicably sad.My dear you sleep in this room without knowing that the night outside is watery and the sky is full of stars.

I wrote "Te amo" on the wall with cigarette butts in the wee hours of the morning.Black and rough smeared with charcoal. Maybe you don't know, the beautiful journey hurts like a knife in my heart.always. The next day we headed down the mountain to go home.The air is filled with the smell of moist grass.Back to the busy city, I say goodbye to you.Yes, I haven't seen you since then, and I wandered in the silent street without you, and I never walked happily again, and everything passed away again. We're all right or wrong, we're all in love but forget.Did you cry or something when you left, I was just in pain but still smiled.

I want to quote a saying that has been said many times, there is only so much warmth in my life, and I gave it all to you, telling me how to smile at others in the future. At the age of fifteen, the soft and delicate mood was dying under the persecution of reality, and I waited for a happy swim in the midst of panic all day long.My only belief is that I can hold your hand and go on until I reach the end and see where I go wrong.This kind of pure and lovely sci-fi comes only once in a lifetime, and it can be easily killed in the cradle.When I was learning color, my instructor said that the gray in gouache painting does not refer to the gray of black and white, but the mixture of countless colors. This kind of very gray background can highlight the layering and make the background lining fade away. The instructor also praised me very much. Use of gray.And I just feel that this color is very similar to my growth, and the colorfulness is blurred.

At the last moment of parting, I heard the sound of my joints being raised, the rustling sound of cell division, the continuous shedding of debris, and the hard grinding of the gears.But the pain is no longer skinny.I want to say goodbye to you that night was full of rain.There was a lot of noise outside the window.I want to see you for the last time so much, so much.