Chapter 32 Chapter Thirty-Two

That winter and the following spring, Nobu would bring the minister to Gion once or twice a week.In fact, the minister never paid attention to other things, except whether I was kneeling beside him or whether his wine glass was full.The attention he gives to me makes it difficult for me sometimes.If I'm too courteous to the minister, Nobu will lose his temper.So the presence of the President, Mameha, and Pumpkin is extremely valuable to me, and they serve as straws in the crate. One night at the end of February, Pumpkin caught a cold and was unable to come to Iliting Tea House.The chairman was also late that night, so for the first hour, only Mameha and I were serving Minister Nobuo.

Mameha danced a few short dances first, and I accompanied her with the shamisen.Later we switched.Just as I was doing my first dance start, the sliding door opened and the president entered.I'm glad he's here because while I know he's seen me on stage, he's never seen me dance in such an intimate setting.At first I wanted to perform a short dance called "Glittering Autumn Leaves", but now I changed my mind and asked Mameha to perform "Cruel Rain". "Brutal Rain" tells the story of a young woman whose lover removes his kimono coat to protect her from the rain.The girl was deeply moved because she knew that he was an enchanted elf whose body would gradually disappear when he got wet.My teacher praised me repeatedly, saying that I showed the sad mood of this girl.Inoue Pai dances, facial expressions and body movements are equally important.So in order to make the dance more emotional, I was thinking about the thing that hurt me the most, which is that my Dana is also in this room, but he is not the chairman, but Nobu.As soon as I had this thought, everything around me seemed to fall heavily to the ground.In the garden outside, the rain dripping from the eaves was as heavy as glass beads.Even the cushions pressed against the floor.I reminded myself that I was not expressing the grief of a young woman who lost her elf lover, but the pain I felt when I finally lost the thing I loved the most.I found myself thinking about Satsu at the same time, and I danced to the pain of our final parting.In the end, I was almost overwhelmed with grief, but when I turned to look at the Chairman, I didn't expect to see this expression on his face.

He sat at the corner of the table closest to me, and only I could see his face from this angle.I think his expression was startled first, because his eyes were wide open.Then the corners of his mouth trembled twice, usually because he couldn't help laughing, but this time he had a different emotion.I'm not sure, but I think he has tears in his eyes.He looked at the door, pretending to touch his nose, and took the opportunity to wipe the corner of his eye with a finger. He also stroked his eyebrows, as if there was something wrong with his eyebrows.Seeing the painful expression of the president, I was extremely surprised and at a loss for a while.I walked back to the table, Mameha and Nobuo started talking, after a while, the president interjected, "Where did the pumpkin go tonight?"

"Oh, President, she's sick." Mameha said. "What do you mean? Can't she come?" "Yeah, I can't come," Mameha said, "It's a good thing, you know she has the flu." Mameha turned back and continued talking.I saw the president glance at his watch, and said in a voice that hadn't completely calmed down: "Mameha, please forgive me. I'm not feeling well tonight." When the chairman closed the sliding door, Nobuo said something funny, and everyone burst out laughing.But suddenly I had a terrible idea.In the dance, I focused on expressing the pain of not being with my lover. I was naturally sad, but I also made the president sad.Could it be possible that he was thinking about pumpkins?After all, she was also absent.I can't imagine the tears in his eyes over something like Pumpkin's sickness, but maybe I've stirred up something deeper and more complex in him.All I know is that after I finished dancing, the President asked about Pumpkin and left when he heard she was sick.I wouldn't be surprised if I found out that the president had feelings for Mameha, but pumpkin?How could the president like such a... person who lacks taste?

Perhaps any woman with a little common sense should give up hope at this point.For a period of time, I went to a fortune teller every day to tell my fortune, and checked the almanac more carefully than usual, trying to find some signs that I should indeed succumb to my inescapable destiny.Of course, we Japanese live in a time of disillusioned hope, and it would be to be expected if I, like so many others, are slowly dying.But on the other hand, many people believe that this country will one day recover, which is impossible if we have been living in the rubble.Whenever I read in the papers that a small shop, say, a pre-war manufacturer of bicycle parts is reopening as if the war never happened, I say to myself that if only the whole country could emerge from the dark trough Then, I can also be born again from my dark trough.

From March until the end of spring, Mameha and I were busy preparing for "Dance of the Ancient Capital".Coincidentally, the chairman and Nobu have been very busy in the past few months, and they only brought the minister to Gion twice.Then one day in June, I learned that the Iwamura Electric Company invited me to the Ichiritei Tea House that night.When I arrived, only Nobu and the Minister were there.And they look very unhappy.We didn't say a few words, and Yan sent the minister away.He turned back and sulked for a long time before opening his mouth. "Sayuri, of course we have known each other for a long time. About... Fifteen years! Right?" He said, "No, don't answer. I have something to tell you, which I have wanted to tell you for a long time, Now is the time. I hope you listen carefully, because I'm only going to say it once. Here's the thing: I don't like geisha very much, you probably know that. But I always feel that you, Sayuri, are different from other geisha."

I waited for him to speak. "I've been waiting for years. I've been waiting for you and the General to mess with each other. Every time I think about him and you... well, I don't even think about it. When it comes to this stupid minister, it can't be worse He knew he couldn't be your danna, he sat like a pile of dust for a long time, and then he said, 'I thought you said I could be Sayuri's danna.' Well, I didn't say that!' We I have tried my best, Minister, but there is nothing I can do.' I said to him. Then he said: 'Can't you arrange it just once?' I asked: 'Arrange one time for what? Arrange one time for you to be Sayuri's danna? You mean, Only one night?' He nodded! Well, I said, 'Minister, listen to me! It's hard enough to go to the hostess of the tea house and ask someone like you to be the danna of a woman like Sayuri. I'm doing it because I know it's impossible. But if you want to...'"

"You didn't say that!" "Of course I said so. I said, 'But if you think I'll arrange for you, even for a quarter of a second... why would you want her? Besides, she's not mine and can be given away, yes. No? Think I'm going to tell her something like that!'" "Mr. Yen, I hope the minister didn't blame him. You need to know what he did for Iwamura Electric." "Wait a minute, don't think I'm not grateful. The minister helped us because it was his duty. I've treated him so well these past few months, and I'll continue to do so. Not that I Will give up what I have been waiting for for more than ten years, and give it to him! What would you say if I came to ask you as he asked? Would you say: 'Okay, Mr. Yan, I will do this for you thing'?"

"Okay... how should I answer this kind of question?" "Easy. Just tell me you would never do something like this." "But Mr. Yan, I owe you so much... If you ask me, I can't refuse easily." "Hey, this is so fresh! Sayuri, have you changed? Or is this an aspect of you that I never knew about?" "I've always thought that Mr. Yan was flattering me too much..." "I'm not wrong about people. If you're not the kind of woman I think, the world isn't what I think it is. You mean, you can consider dedicating yourself to a minister? Don't you feel that?" Is there right and wrong? Or have you been in Gion too long?"

"God, Mr. Yan... I haven't seen you so angry for many years..." The sentence must have been misspoken, because Nobu's face flushed with anger.He grabbed the glass with one hand and slammed it down so hard that it shattered and spilled ice cubes on the table.Nobu turned his hand over, and there was a bloodstain on the palm. "Ah, Mr. Yan!" "answer me!" "I can't think about it right now... Please, I'm going to get you something to stop your bleeding..." "Will you give yourself to the minister no matter who asks you to do it? If you are a woman who can do such a thing, I want you to leave the house immediately and never speak to me again!"

I don't understand how things took a turn for the worse tonight, but I know very well that I can only give one answer.I was in a hurry to find a cloth to bandage him, his blood had already dripped on the table.But he stared at me, and I dared not move. "I would never do such a thing," I said. I thought that would calm him down, but he kept staring at me for a long, terrible time, and finally sighed. "Next time, don't wait until I hurt myself to talk." I rushed out to find the hostess.She came with some maids, brought a bowl of water, and towels.Nobu wouldn't let her see a doctor, and to be honest, the wound wasn't as bad as I thought.After the hostess left, Yen fell into a strange silence.I tried to open the conversation, but he expressed no interest. "First I couldn't calm you down," I said finally, "and now I can't get you to talk. I don't know if I should make you drink more, or if it's the drink that's causing the trouble." "Sayuri, we've had enough wine. It's time for you to get that stone back." "Which rock?" "The piece I gave you last fall. Cement from the factory. Go, bring it." When I heard that, I went cold because I knew exactly what he meant.The time has finally come for Nobu to be my danna.