Chapter 26 Chapter Twenty Six

That September, General Tottori and I drank sake at a ceremony at the Ikitei Chaya.This ceremony is the same as the one in which Mameha and I became sisters at the beginning, and later when Dr. Crab became my benefactor of "Mizuyo".In the weeks that followed, everyone congratulated Mom on finding a good backer. Many geisha's life changes when they get a danna, but mine hardly changes at all.I still walk around Gion every night, and I still have to go out from time to time in the afternoon.And the changes I'd been hoping for—danna giving me important dance performances, giving me expensive presents, treating me to a day or two of leisure—alas, none of them came.As mom said, soldiers don't treat geisha as well as businessmen or nobles.

Maybe the general didn't bring any changes to my life, but as the backer of the Yiguan, he is of course invaluable, at least my mother thinks so.Like a normal danna, he also pays for my many expenses, including my class fees, my annual registration fees, medical bills, etc.But more importantly, as Mameha said, his new position as Chief of the Quartermaster Division is everything, and he does things for our art hall that no other Dana can do.For example, in March 1939, my aunt fell ill. We were all very anxious, but the doctor couldn't do anything.But after calling the general, an important doctor came to the military hospital in Shangjing District. He gave the aunt a pack of medicine and cured her.Therefore, although the general did not send me to Tokyo for a dance performance, or to send me precious jewelry, no one can say that our art hall did not benefit from him.Of course, Mom was wrong when she said the war would be over in six months. We didn't believe it then, but we could already see dark days looming.

In the autumn when the general became my danna, Nobu no longer invited me.Soon I learned that he no longer went to Yiliting Tea House either.I know he is avoiding me.I feel sorry for this man who treats me well, I have regarded him as a friend.What's more, after Nobu left me, Iwamura Electric Company no longer invited me to the parties, which means that I almost completely lost the opportunity to meet the chairman. One day in late April, I was putting on makeup for the "Dance of the Ancient Capital", when the apprentice Gao Tsuko suddenly came to me and asked me for help.She said that she had been drinking with Nobu at the Awazumi Chaya recently, but Nobu didn't like her very much.

"He's tough on you, isn't he?" Poor Gao Jinzi didn't answer, she tightened her trembling lips, and the corners of her eyes became wet all of a sudden. "Sometimes Mr. Nobu doesn't know how harsh his words are," I told her, "but he must like you, Miss Takatsuko. Otherwise, why would he invite you?" "I think he only asked me because of who he thought I was," she said. I couldn't think of a way to help her, and I ended up suggesting that she read a history book that Nobu might be interested in, and tell him the story of the history.

Now that I knew where to find Nobu, I decided to meet him.The trouble is, I can't go to Awaju without an invitation, because I have no official relationship with this tea house.So I finally decided that as long as I was free at night, I would go around the road that Nobu passed, hoping to meet him. Eight or nine weeks into my plan, I finally spotted him one evening in a dark alley ahead, emerging from the back of a limo.I knew it was him, the silhouette of the coat with one empty sleeve pinned to the shoulder was unmistakable.I stopped under the street lights in the alley, let out a sigh of relief, and Nobu looked towards me.

"Okay, okay," he said, "forgot a geisha could be this pretty." His tone was so casual that I almost wondered if he recognized me. "Ah, sir, it sounds like you are my old friend Nobu-san," I said, "but you can't be him, because from my impression, he has completely disappeared from Gion." The driver closed the door and we stood in silence until the car drove away. "I'm relieved," I said, "to finally see Mr. Yen again! I'm so lucky that he's standing in the shadows instead of the streetlights." "Sometimes I really don't know what you're talking about, Sayuri. You must have learned it from Mameha. Or that's how all geisha learned it."

"Mr. Yan stands in the shadows, so I can't see the anger on his face." "I see," he said. "You think I'm mad at you?" "What else can I think if an old friend has been missing for so long? I think you'll tell me you're too busy to come to Ilitting Tea House." "Why do you make it sound like it's impossible?" "Because I happen to know that you've been coming to Gion often. But please don't ask me how I know. I won't tell you unless you promise to take a walk with me." "Okay," said Nobu, "because it's a good night tonight..."

"Oh, Mr. Yen, don't say that. I'd rather you say, 'Because I run into an old friend I haven't seen for a long time, and I can't think of anything else to do but go for a walk with her.'" "I'll go for a walk with you," he said, "for whatever reason you think of." I bowed slightly in agreement, and we walked down the alley in the direction of Maruyama Park. "If Mr. Yen wants me to believe that he's not angry," I said, "he should act more friendly than a leopard that hasn't been fed in the first few months. No wonder poor Takatsuko is so afraid of you..."

"So she told you, didn't she?" Nobu said, "Well, if she wasn't such an annoying girl..." "If you don't like her, why do you invite her every time you come to Gion?" "I never asked her, not once! It was her sister who forced her to me. You met me tonight, and you want to use this opportunity to humiliate me by saying that I like her?" "Mr. Yan, I didn't 'meet' you at all. I've been wandering the alleys for weeks just to find you." After we walked in silence for a while, he said, "I shouldn't be surprised. I know you're a crafty man."

"Mr. Yan! What else can I do?" I said, "I thought you had disappeared completely. If Gao Jinzi hadn't come crying and told me how you treated her badly, I might never have known where to find you." "Well, I guess I was a little hard on her. But she's not as smart as you, or as pretty. If you think I'm mad at you, you're quite right." "Can I ask, what did I do to make an old friend so angry?" Yan stopped, turned around and looked at me with inexplicably sad eyes. "I don't respect you anymore because I know your dan is a little guy in a uniform and no one respects him."

"Mr. Nobu said that as if I could choose who would be my tanna. The only thing I could choose was which kimono to wear." "Do you know how this guy got his job in the department? It's because no one believed him to be able to do anything important. Sayuri, I know the military well. Even his own superiors think he's useless. You've found a A beggar as a backer! To be honest, I used to like you very much, but..." "Ever? Does Mr. Yan no longer like me?" "I don't like stupid people." "This kind of talk is so cruel! Are you going to make me cry? Oh, Mr. Yan! I'm a fool because you look down on my Dana?" "You geisha! There is no one more annoying than you. You go around looking up the almanac and saying, 'Oh, I can't go east today, my fortune says it's unlucky! But if it's a lifelong event, you don't think so. It's the same." "It's better to say that you can only close your eyes to things that cannot be stopped." "Sayuri, you are the daughter of Yiguan. You can't say you have no influence. It is your responsibility to use your influence, unless you want to go with the flow, like a fish turning its belly in a stream." "I wish I could really believe that life isn't just a stream, that we don't just roll our bellies and go with the flow." "Well, if it's a stream, you're still free to choose to be here or there, aren't you? The stream diverges again and again. If you bump, wrestle, fight, take advantage of it..." "Oh, that's all very well, I believe, if we have the advantage." "You can find it everywhere, if you ever bother to look for it! For me, even if I had nothing but a gnawed peach pit, or something like that, I wouldn't waste it. Time to throw it away Get out, and I'll definitely throw it on someone I don't like!" "Mr. Yan, are you teaching me to throw peach pits?" "Stop kidding. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Sayuri, we're alike. I know people call me 'Mr. Lizard' or something, and you're the prettiest character in Gion. But I was at the sumo tournament many years ago What were you when Chang first met you? Fourteen? Even then, I could tell you were a smart girl." "I always thought that Mr. Yan overestimated me." "Sayuri, I think you should be more accomplished. But it seems that you don't even know where your goal is. Bind your destiny with someone like the general! I wanted to take good care of you, you know. Thinking of this, I'm so annoyed! Once the General leaves your life, he leaves nothing behind. You want to waste your youth like this?" If you rub a piece of cloth too often, it will wear out quickly.Nobu's words tormented me severely.But maybe my silence gave me away, and he grabbed my shoulder with one of his hands and turned me at an angle so the light fell on my face.He looked me in the eyes and let out a long sigh that sounded like disappointment at first. "Xiao Baihe, why do I think you are much older?" He paused and said, "Sometimes I forget that you are still a child. Now you are going to say that I am too strong for you." "Mr. Yan is Mr. Yan. I can't expect him to be someone else." I said. "Sayuri, I have a bad attitude when I'm disappointed, and you should know that. You let me down, whether it's because you're too young, or because you're not the kind of woman I thought... Anyway, you let me down, right? " "Mr. Yan, please, these words of yours scare me. I don't know if I can act according to your judgment of me..." "I hope you live with your eyes open! If you have a goal in your heart, every moment in life is an opportunity to get closer to it. I can't expect a stupid girl like Gao Jinzi to have this awareness, but..." "Didn't Mr. Yan call me stupid all night?" "You know what I say when I'm angry doesn't count." "Then Mr. Yan is not angry. Then will he come to see me at Yiliting Tea House? Or will he invite me to see him? Actually, I don't have anything particularly important tonight. I can go now. If Yan Please, sir." By then we had circled a block and were standing in front of the tea house. "I won't invite you." He said and pushed open the door. "I don't like having things in front of me that I can't get." Before I could speak, he stepped into the tea room and closed the door behind him.