Chapter 9 Chapter nine

A full year after receiving the bad news from my family, in early spring, something happened.It was April, and the cherry trees were in bloom again.I was almost twelve at the time, and I was starting to look a little more feminine.I've almost grown my height.My body is still thin and bony to the touch, like a twig that is only a year or two old, but my face has lost its boyish softness, and now my jaw is sharper and the lines of my cheekbones are sharper. It is clear that the eyes are in the shape of almonds after the face is opened.In the past, the men on the street paid little attention to me, as if I were nothing more than a pigeon; now they start to look at me when I pass by.

That morning, my aunt called me upstairs and asked me to bring her the tiara that Hatsumomo took by mistake last night. So I waited outside the school building, waiting for Hatsumomo to come out.She spotted me before I recognized her, walking towards me with another geisha.You might wonder why she's in school, since she's already an excellent dancer, and she certainly knows everything there is to know about being a geisha.But in fact, even the most famous geisha must continue to take more advanced dance courses throughout their careers, and some geisha still go to school in their 50s and 60s.I handed her the tiara and turned to leave.

"Oh, don't go, Chiyo," Hatsumomo said to me. "I want you to see someone, that young girl over there who is going through the gate. Her name is Mie Ichiki." I looked at Mie Ichiki, Hatsumomo didn't seem to intend to introduce her further. "I don't know her," I said. "No, of course you don't know her. She's nothing special. A little dumb, as dumb as a cripple. But I thought you'd find it interesting that she was going to be a geisha, and you'd never be." I think that's the cruelest thing Hatsumomo could ever say to me.For a year and a half I have been forced into slave labor as a maid.I feel like my life is a long, endless road with no hope in sight.I'm not saying I want to be a geisha, but I sure don't want to be a maid all my life.I stood for a long time in the school garden, watching young girls my age file past chatting with each other.They may just go back to lunch, but it seems to me that they are living a meaningful life, and I can only go back and wipe the stepping stones in the yard.

I walked to Shijo Street and turned towards the Kamo River.A huge banner hangs over the entrance of the Minamiizu Theater announcing that that afternoon there will be a Kabuki performance called "Wait Slow," our most famous play.The audience poured into the theater like a tide.The men were all wearing black suits or kimonos, and a few geisha in bright costumes stood out against the background, like autumn leaves floating on the muddy river.Here, I once again witnessed the bustling life passing by my side.I hurriedly left the main street and walked onto a small path beside the Baichuan River, but even there, there were still some men and geisha on their way with a clear goal.In order to completely get rid of the pain caused by this kind of thinking, I walked towards Shirakawa River, but the cruel thing is that even the river water is also at its goal-first flows to Kamo River, then flows to Osaka Bay, and finally flows into the inland sea.It seems like everywhere is giving me the same hint.I wept against a small stone wall by the river.I am an isolated island abandoned in the vast ocean, not only without a past, but also without a future.After a while, I felt like I was in a deserted place—however, I heard a man's voice:

"What's the matter, such a good weather shouldn't be so sad." Generally, men on Gion Street wouldn't pay attention to a little girl like me, especially when I was crying like a fool.If a man did notice me, he wouldn't talk to me, unless it was to tell me to get out of his way, or something like that.However, this man not only spoke to me patiently, but was very friendly.He talks to me as if I'm a lady - maybe like the daughter of a good friend of his.For a brief moment, I imagined myself in a completely different new world, a world where people treated me fairly, even kindly—a world where fathers would not betray their daughters.The din of people around me seemed to disappear, or at least I couldn't feel it.As I looked up at the man who was speaking to me, I felt as if I had left the pain behind me on the stone wall.

The man who was talking to me on the street had a broad, peaceful face, and his features were so smooth and detailed that I felt he would stand there peacefully until I was no longer sad.He was about forty-five, with gray hair brushed straight back from his forehead.But I couldn't look at him for long.He looked so elegant that I had to look away, blushing. On one side of him stood two men younger than himself; on the other side stood a geisha.I heard the geisha whisper to him: "Why, she's only a maid! Probably she stumbled on her toe while running some errands. I'm sure someone will come to her soon."

"I wish I could be as confident in others as you are, Miss Yan Zi." The man said. "The performance is about to start. Really, President, I don't think you should waste any more time." When I was running errands in Gion, I often heard people being called "Minister" and occasionally "Vice President".But I rarely hear the title "President". "Are you trying to tell me that it's a waste of time to stay here and help her?" said the president. "Oh, no," said the geisha, "it's just that there's no time to lose. We may not be able to catch the first act of the show."

At this time, the chairman turned around and ordered the two young men to take Yan Zi to the theater.The president stayed and did not leave.He looked at me for a long time, but I didn't dare to look back at him.Finally, I say: "Sorry, sir, she's right. I'm just a silly girl... Please don't miss the show because of me." "Get up and stand for a while," he told me. I dare not disobey him, although I don't know what he wants to do.But I was obviously overthinking, because he just took a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped the grit off my face, which I had just smeared off the stone wall.Standing so close to him, I could smell the talcum powder on his smooth skin.After he wiped the grit and tears from my face, he cupped my chin with his fingers.

"It's all right . . . a pretty girl, nothing to be ashamed of," he said, "but you're afraid to look at me. Somebody treats you badly . . . or your life isn't what you want." "I don't know, sir," I said, knowing that, of course. “None of us in this world gets 100 percent of what we deserve,” he told me, and then he narrowed his eyes, as if to say that I should think about what he said. I longed to see again the smooth skin of his face, the broad brows, the gentle eyes with their marble lids; but our social ranks are so disparate.Finally, I raised my eyes and glanced at him, but I blushed and looked away immediately, maybe he didn't notice at all.But how can I describe what I saw at that moment?He was looking at me, like a musician looks at his instrument before playing, with a confident look.I felt as if I was a part of him, and he could read my heart.I really want to be the instrument he plays!

After a while, he reached into his pocket and took something out. "Do you like sweet plums or cherries?" he asked. "Sir, do you mean... eat?" "I just passed a peddler who was selling shaved ice drizzled in syrup. I've tasted shaved ice for the first time in my adult life, but I like it like a child. Take this coin and go buy a portion. Put I also have my handkerchief, so you can wipe your face after eating." He said, put the coin in the middle of the handkerchief, wrapped it into a roll, and then held out his hand for me to take. I took the handkerchief roll and bowed deeply to him in thanks.I thanked him not for the coin, or even for taking the trouble to stop and help me.I thank him for...well, for something I still can't explain.Maybe it's because he made me understand that in this world, we can find other things besides cruelty.

When the figure of the chairman disappeared from my sight, I rushed to the street to look for the shaved ice vendor.It wasn't particularly hot that day, and I didn't really want to eat shaved ice, but eating shaved ice can prolong the feeling of meeting the president.So I bought a paper cup of shaved ice with cherry syrup on it and walked back to sit on the stone wall and eat it.The syrupy taste seemed tangy and complex, and I guessed it was just my emotions.If I were a geisha like Yanzi, I think a man like the chairman might spend time with me.It never occurred to me that I would envy a geisha.Of course, I was originally brought to Kyoto to be a geisha; but before that, I would run away as soon as I got the chance.Now, I realize something I've neglected: for me, it's not how to be a geisha, it's how to be a geisha.How to become a geisha... This, is not a goal in life.But being a geisha...now I realize it's a stepping stone to something else.If I'm not mistaken, the chairman's age is probably no more than forty-five years old.Many geisha achieve great success by the age of twenty.This geisha named Yan Zi was probably no more than twenty-five years old.I'm still a kid, nearly twelve...but in twelve years, I'll be in my twenties.What about the president?At that time, he should not be older than Mr. Tanaka now. The face value of the coin that the chairman gave me is far more than the price of a serving of shaved ice.I was holding in my hand the change the peddler had given me—three coins of different sizes, which at first I thought would be stored forever, but now I thought they could be of some very important use. I ran to Shijo Street, and ran all the way to the end of the street at the east end of Gion, where the Gion Shrine is.I climbed the steps, and the gabled-roofed gate was two stories high, but I didn't have the guts to go straight in, so I had to walk around it.Walking across the gravel courtyard and up a flight of steps, I entered the temple through an archway.I dropped three coins into the offering box there, and I clapped my hands three times and bowed to the god.I closed my eyes and clasped my hands, praying to the gods to bless me as a geisha.In order to have a chance to attract a man like the chairman again, I am willing to go through arduous training and endure all difficulties.