A month ago there were several days of melee near the provincial capital.The gates of the city were closed for three days.My house was also bombed, and everyone was disturbed for a while, but it was considered safe and sound.We are now living in peace again.But lately I've been really tired, and everything I've encountered has been unsatisfactory.My aunt felt a little unhappy because my fifth uncle took Xi'er into the house during the mourning period, and my third uncle didn't stop me. Last year in Chongyang, my fourth aunt and Aunt Chen had an argument at my house. I was not happy, so I excused my illness and never came to my house again.After the second sister left, although the third uncle was unwilling to disclose the matter to the outside world, he did not pursue it further, but he lost face in front of Chen Ke's family and felt very unhappy. He often lost his temper and his health was not as good as before.After Hai'er's death, I felt as if something was lost in my heart. My stomach disease recovered and recurred, disturbing people all the time, and it's even worse recently.Recently, things are bothersome and people are too greedy and lazy, so I seldom write to you.The second sister's letter to Qinmei has already been read.Later, I received letters from my third brother and second sister, talking about Jianyun's death, and my second brother and I were very sad.Jian Yun is a rare good person in today's society.It was all thanks to his help that the second sister left home.If his circumstances were better, he might not have died so early.But I think he lived a more meaningful life than me, and he finally did a good thing.He cannot be said to have lived in vain.and I? ...

My third aunt asked me about my second sister from time to time.She received three letters from the second sister, and she was very happy to know about your situation abroad.The money remitted yesterday was handed over by my third aunt and asked me to remit it to my second sister.According to Uncle Yun, he seemed to have remorse in his heart, but he still acted sternly, refusing to give in, and forbidding anyone to mention his second sister in front of him.I think he might soften his heart after a while.Last year Wan'er gave birth to a son in Feng's family, and last month she brought her son to visit her third aunt.Wan'er has gained weight, and she told a lot about the loss of morality of Feng Leshan's family, which is really infuriating.Wan'er is really capable, she can bear it.She missed her old master very much, and she asked the third sister to write a letter to greet the second sister on her behalf...

Boring in the middle of the night, with mixed feelings, I think of you, my parents, my deceased sister-in-law, Haier, cousin Mei, cousin Hui, etc. I really feel that the living is far away and the dead are far apart... Gao Juexin wrote here, his hands trembled slightly, the tip of the brush touched the letter paper, and he left immediately without scratching on the paper.He didn't want to write any more.He felt dazzled. "Brother," a familiar voice whispered in his ear.He didn't seem to hear it, and didn't move. Gao Juemin stood beside Juexin, put his hands on Juexin's shoulders, and said sympathetically, "What do you still think about those things? Let them die if they are dead. Your own health is the most important thing." He saw the letter on the letter. few lines.

Juexin raised his head, and turned around on the movable chair.He grabbed Juemin's left hand and squeezed it tightly.He said to Juemin in pain: "Second brother, what do you want me to do?" Juemin didn't understand Juxin's mood of asking for help, he just gently advised: "Brother, you shouldn't be so excited until now. This is just suffering yourself in vain. You are suffering too much." "I can suffer, no matter how hard it is, I can bear it, but they shouldn't ask me to do this," Juexin said forcefully, frowning. "What are you talking about, brother?" Juemin asked in astonishment.

"They want me to continue," Juexin said shortly. Juemin paused for a moment, then suddenly said through gritted teeth, "It's them again. It's always them." "They never let me go," Juexin said bitterly. "This is your own business, what has it to do with them?" Juemin's anger calmed down a little, he didn't take this matter very seriously, he knew it could be decided by his brother himself.He walked to the wicker chair by the window opposite Juexin and sat down. "But they are more enthusiastic than I am. Even my mother persuaded me like this. They said that my mourning clothes will be full in a few months," Juexin said in a low voice, as if talking to himself.

"Is it because 'there are three ways to be unfilial, and having no descendants is the greatest'"...Juemin said this sentence sarcastically. Juexin didn't answer.He put the handkerchief in his pocket.He lowered his head dejectedly, his eyes seemed to stop on the letterhead in front of him.In fact, he didn't see any words.Floating in front of his eyes were some faint shadows flashing from the "past".These shadows are all very familiar to him.He wanted to hold them, he wanted to talk to them with his heart. Juemin will not understand this situation.But he was silent.He was thinking of something else.His thoughts gradually focused on the plump face of a young woman.He saw her smiling at him.

The room kept sinking into an abyss of silence.Even the electric lights gradually dimmed.The moonlight whitened the glass windows, and the faint shadow of the curtain lay in the corner.It was quite bright outside the window.Only the monotonous sound of the pendulum in the window slowly eroded the time.Juexin occasionally let out a sigh or two, but the voice was also very low, and it disappeared as soon as it was sent to Juemin's ears. And so the whistle sounded, always that long drawn-out high-pitched wail.Juemin opened his eyes wide in surprise and looked around, but nothing changed.Juexin called out twice feebly, "Sister-in-law He!" There was no answer.He stood up, walked to the square table and lit the clear oil lamp, then returned to the movable chair and sat down.His eyes touched the letter paper on the table again, and he picked up his pen to write.But the electric light began to change color, and the writing on the paper gradually became blurred.He sighed helplessly, put down the pen again, and raised his head to look at the electric light in boredom.The light of the electric lamp has completely suppressed its brightness, and there is only a circle of red wire left in the bulb, and even the red wire is gradually fading, and finally fades to nothing.The clear oil lamp was shining lonely on the square table, unable to illuminate the entire room.Moonlight took the opportunity to crawl into the house.In the unlit inner room, the dark floor is full of tree shadows and the shadows of the window curtains, and the outer room is full of moonlight.

Juemin couldn't bear it and stood up suddenly. He said to his brother with a little grief: "Brother, you can get married again. How can you live a life like this for a long time? You are so lonely! You are alone people." "This is not acceptable, this is not acceptable! Why do you even say that! I can't do this kind of thing!" Juexin seemed to have heard something unpleasant, and he shook his head and refused. "But how can you live this kind of life alone?" Juemin looked at his brother with pity, and said sympathetically. "I can live. I can live any kind of life," Juexin said, holding back tears.The clear oil lamp on the square table suddenly extinguished with a low cry.

Juemin stood up.He doesn't light the lamp.He bit his lip and walked a few steps in the room silently.The moonlight drew his eyes out of the window.There is a pure and quiet realm.Peonies, roses, camellias, pearl orchids and osmanthus trees stand quietly under the clear light, casting their shadows on the silver-white land like a picture.His eyes moved further into the house.The glass windows hung with white screen curtains are very bright.The black shadow of Juexin's upper body seemed to be embedded in the glass.He bowed his head, looking very depressed, sitting there. Juemin stopped in the house.He watched his brother attentively.He suddenly felt that his brother had become more haggard and older recently.He couldn't help thinking about Juexin's experiences in these years.He didn't have time to think about it.Many things became a strong rope that bound him and drew him to his brother.He walked to the writing desk and leaned against a corner of the writing desk.He said to Juexin in a friendly way:

"Brother, we have been too selfish these past few years. We only care about ourselves. You suffer from everything. You should also cherish yourself. I will definitely help you in the future." Juexin squeezed Juemin's hand, and said emotionally, "Second brother, I thank you. I understand your kindness. You should work harder yourself." He shook his head in frustration: "Don't worry about me. I There's no hope. I know my fate is like this." "You can't believe in fate, you should know it's not fate!" Juemin retorted enthusiastically.

"Second brother, I can't say whether it's fate or not. But what else can I do? You've seen it all these years..." Juexin replied weakly. "I've seen the past, so don't worry about it now. You can't say there's nothing you can do about it in the future, you should..." Juemin persuaded again, but Juexin interrupted him before he finished speaking.Juexin shook his head and smiled wryly: "In the future? What do you think I can hope for in the future?..." Juemin was about to speak, but was interrupted again.This time a girl's voice came in from outside the door, calling: "Brother." Juemin knew who it was, so he turned his face to the door. The door curtain moved, and a young girl's body flashed in with the moonlight.She heard the voice of the conversation outside, and when she opened the curtain, she unexpectedly saw the darkness in the room and two half-length figures embedded in the bright glass window. "Why, you don't even light a lamp!" She said in surprise. "The lights were off just now," Juexin replied smoothly.He told Juemin again: "Second brother, go and light the lamp." Juemin agreed, then went to the square table and lit the lamp. "It's strange that you talk so much with your eyes closed," Shuhua laughed, just as the lights were relit.There was a little orange light in the room again. "What were you talking about just now?" Shuhua looked at her two brothers and asked curiously. "Let's talk casually," Juexin said hesitantly.Shuhua didn't ask any further questions, she began to explain her reason for coming: "Brother, Mom wants you to go. Cousin Zhou Jiamei is getting married. Uncle wants to ask you for help again." "Cousin Mei is getting married?" Juexin asked in surprise. "Yes. The date hasn't been set yet, but it will be set soon. I think uncle is really weird. My cousin is so young, so I don't let him study hard, but he calls him 'marriage'. I heard that the bride will be married this year. Twenty-one years old," Shuhua said disapprovingly. "Cousin Mei is only seventeen years old this year, and he is the same age as you," Juemin said. "Bah, what does it have to do with me? You dragged me together! The bride is the same age as you, why didn't you tell me?" Shuhua smiled at Juemin. "Sister, what are you afraid of? I won't marry you to cousin Mei," Juemin retorted. "I forgive you, you don't dare! I'm not afraid! Unless I agree to my own affairs, no one can control me!" Shuhua said confidently. "Third dad wants to take care of it, what do you do?" Juemin asked coldly. "It's not that he wants to marry! He can't even control his second sister, so he has the nerve to control me?" Shuhua said angrily. "Be quiet," Juexin warned from the side. "Yes, this is my good sister," Juemin suddenly praised happily. Juexin stood up and said quietly, "Let's go, Mom is waiting." "I'll go and listen too," Juemin said.The three of them walked out of the room together. They walked out of the corridor, turned a corner, and entered the upper left room.Their stepmother Zhou was waiting for them in the room.She sat comfortably on the sofa, and Qixia was holding a hookah to fill her with cigarettes. "Second brother, you haven't slept yet?" Seeing Juemin following Juexin, Mrs. Zhou said this with a smile. "I'll listen to it too. It doesn't matter if you sleep a little later," Juemin replied with a smile. Everyone sat down.A clear oil lamp on the rosewood square table casts a lot of shadows on the room.Juexin sat on a rosewood armchair to Zhou's right.On a coffee table next to the second cabinet opposite him, a "five more chicken" shot a ball of red light, and a teapot was being held on top of the cover. "Qixia, the young master loves strong tea, you can pour him a cup of the spring tea simmering on the 'Wu Geng Chicken'," Zhou ordered kindly. "Mom, Qixia wants to pack a cigarette, I'll do it myself." Juexin said politely, and stood up. "Mingxuan, don't move," Zhou hurriedly gestured to stop him.She explained again: "I smoke cigarettes, but I don't have any addictions when I'm idle. If I'm bored, I can eat a few bags of hookah." "Mom is right," Juexin said with a smile.Qixia brought a cup of fragrant hot tea to Juexin. "Your third aunt came to me before. So I talked about the second girl, and I felt a little regretful. She said that she took a hundred yuan and entrusted you to exchange it to Shanghai. Third father didn't know about it. Three My aunt said that the third father tore up the letter that the second girl gave him without even reading it. After all, the father is different..." Mrs. Zhou moved her small mouth, like spitting out beads, saying that she just After a pause, Shuhua picked it up. "Uncle is not like this! Cousin Hui was ruined by him! Now that the coffin is still parked in the temple, the Zheng family doesn't care about it. Uncle doesn't think of a way, but only cares about the marriage of this cousin," Shu She is quick-spoken, she doesn't know scruples, and she speaks out frankly when she feels unfair or unhappy. Zhou remained silent.Juexin turned his head and gave Shuhua a painful look.Only Juemin felt happy.He and Shuhua looked at each other knowingly. Mrs. Zhou sighed, and said to Qixia, "Pour me a cup of tea, too." Then she said to the Juexin brothers and sisters, "In all fairness, what the third daughter said is somewhat reasonable. Miss Hui is such a pity. A good daughter was murdered by her father. The Zheng family left her in the temple, deliberately not burying her. It’s really infuriating! Miss Yun’s life is better, luckily she doesn’t have such a stubborn father.” She suddenly changed The topic said: "Let's talk about your cousin's marriage again. This time it's your uncle who decides. Grandma can't hold him back either. But it's not too early for cousin Mei to get married at this age." "But the bride is four years older than cousin Mei," Juexin's brothers and sisters all disagreed with her last sentence, but Juexin only agreed, Juemin just showed a disapproving expression, and only Shuhua said this. If you are satisfied. "Although I am four years older, the two horoscopes are quite suitable. The person who approved the horoscope said that this marriage is very auspicious, so grandma also agreed. I think your uncle may not make a mistake this time," Zhou said. It was as if she was defending her brother Zhou Xiantao. "That's what Mom said," Juexin said with a smile.He didn't think so in his heart.Juemin coughed lightly beside him. "Grandma invites you to go tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. They have a lot of things to discuss with you. You'd better go for half a day. I'm afraid your uncle will go out in the afternoon. According to your uncle's opinion, the sooner this marriage can be completed, the better. .” "Yes, I'll just go," Juexin said lazily. "Ma Xiao, do you know how the situation of the daughter's family is? I don't understand why my uncle doesn't find a cousin of the same age for Mei's cousin? Mei's cousin is not very old now, so why bother?" Shuhua Still said unconvinced. Zhou's chubby face showed an impatient look, and she said to Shuhua reproachfully: "Third daughter, fortunately there is no one else here, if your young lady said such things, outsiders would die of laughter if they heard them." Shuhua pouted her lips unhappily, and she said angrily, "Mom, I was born with this kind of temper. I don't care what other people say about me. I don't understand why you can't say anything when you are a young lady!" Juexin frowned, and two or three lines appeared on his forehead immediately.He was worried that Shuhua's words would make Mrs. Zhou angry, so he looked at Mrs. Zhou timidly.Juemin sat quietly on one side, with a slight smile on his face. Zhou seems to have heard something unpleasant, but she didn't change her face.She felt annoyed and funny at the same time, she regarded Shuhua as an ignorant child, her voice became gentle: "Third daughter, you really don't want to let people talk. You are just like your third brother in Shanghai. No wonder the fourth aunt and fifth aunt are gossiping about you behind your back. Even I can't deal with you now." "Third sister has a bad temper after all. It's always good to be kind to others. It's best that the people in our house don't give people a chance to gossip," Juexin said in Zhou's tone. Zhou was naturally satisfied when he heard Juexin's words.But she saw Shuhua shaking her head slightly, opening her mouth to argue. She had just heard Shuhua say the word "I", and quickly interrupted with other words: "Actually, what the third daughter said is not completely unreasonable. But it's not good for a young lady who has not been out of the court to say such things, although people are more enlightened than before. When I was a young lady at home, it was hard to die. Mei My cousin has a sick appearance all year round, if his marriage is not handled well, I don’t know what will happen.” Her words like rolling beads stopped suddenly.She picked up the teacup on the spring bench next to her, drank two sips of tea, and continued: "Your uncle is very rigid. It just doesn't make sense. This time, Miss Feng is his favorite again. The bride's father is a friend of your uncle. The uncle admires the Feng family's moral knowledge most. I heard that the bride's uncle is very famous." "Feng's family?" Juemin said to himself in surprise, he immediately guessed who the bride was.Juexin turned to look at him.Juexin also guessed who the bride was, so he turned around and continued to listen to Mrs. Zhou's speech.Qixia sat on the step stool in front of the bed, and she listened intently. "Uncle agreed as soon as he said it. He also said that this is a chance he couldn't ask for. Grandma didn't agree at first, but she couldn't persuade uncle. Later, she saw that the horoscope was good, so she stopped talking." "Bazi is unreliable, it's all nonsense, I don't know how many people have been hurt!" Juemin couldn't bear it and finally spit out his dissatisfaction. "I think my cousin must be sick, and early marriage may not be good for him," Juexin continued. "Yes, cousin Mei must have lung disease," Shuhua said. "Don't talk about lung disease," Zhou said quickly, waving her hands. "Once my uncle told me that my cousin often coughed, and asked him to go to Ping'an Bridge Hospital to see if he had lung disease, and my uncle scolded me." The uncle also said that Miss Hui was killed by Western medicine. These things are hard to believe. I don’t know if the horoscope is reliable, but I believe that fate is real. Everything has a definite number.” she said The two words of "definite number" spit out all the unpleasant things in one sigh.She felt relieved. "I really don't understand what uncle is thinking!" Shuhua still said angrily. "Third daughter, don't mention this matter again. Talking about it will only make people upset. I have other things to discuss with your elder brother," Zhou said impatiently. "Mingxuan, how do you arrange your own affairs? The third aunt came to talk about it just now." "What about me?" Juexin said only two words hastily, not being wary of talking about himself, and then he replied with a slightly embarrassed look: "I think we can take it easy, I can't bear to think of this kind of thing now." things, and I'm not fully convinced yet." "The third aunt said just now that the third father wanted me to persuade you, saying that you are a great-grandson, and there are not many brothers in your generation, and you are almost full of mourning clothes now..." Zhou did not see Juexin's face. She didn't pay attention to his expression, nor did she pay attention to his tone of voice, she didn't know what kind of impact her words had on his heart, she just talked about her own words. "Mom, I know all about it. But now I still think about Rui Jue. I can't bear to think about the continuation. Besides, I've already killed a few good people, so I can't..." Juexin's last line of defense was breached.He completely lost his resistance, and burst into tears before Zhou could finish speaking, sobbing and saying the above words. Juemin stood up.He sympathized and said to Juexin in a gentle voice: "Brother, you'd better go back to sleep. You were too excited tonight. Why should you be sad?" "It doesn't matter to me, it doesn't matter to me," Juexin said while wiping away tears. "Mingxuan, it's better if you go to bed earlier. Second child, you go back with your elder brother, and you comfort him well," Zhou told Juemin with concern. Juemin responded.He walked up to Juexin and whispered to Juexin, "Brother, let's go." Juexin was urged repeatedly before he stood up, greeted Mrs. Zhou, then lowered his head and followed Juexin out of the room. "Qixia, come and fill me a few more bags of cigarettes," Zhou ordered, seeing Juexin's back disappearing, feeling inexplicably depressed. Juexin returned to his room and wrote in the letter: My cousin is getting married soon, which means that my uncle is alone.The bride is four years older than him, she is Miss Feng's family. In the past few days, I have been intoxicated all day long and shed tears from time to time.But the matter of Cousin Hui is particularly chilling.After the death of cousin Hui, the funeral was sent to Lianhua nunnery more than 20 miles away from the city, and there was almost no one to take care of it.The Zheng family has no intention of burying it so far, and the uncle has ignored it.This year on Qingming, I ordered Lao Zhao to go out of the city and burn two boxes and two bundles of gold and silver ingots with her.Lao Zhao came back and told everything, which made people very sad and indignant.Although grandma and the others were also dissatisfied with the Zheng family's actions, uncle refused to make the decision and come out to negotiate, and grandma had nothing to do with him.Cousin Hui is so pitiful, there is no place to bury her after she dies.Second Sister and her have always been close, it must be hard to hear this news... He didn't mention anything about himself.