Chapter 12 12

The sedan chair stopped at the gate of the park.Inside the western-style wall is a big tree, which scattered its green shadows with thick branches and leaves on the sunny ground in front of the door.Juemin and his party of six stepped inside under the shadow of the tree. Two soldiers with one hand hung under their necks by a bandage waddled out of it, passed by them, looked at Qin and Shuying frivolously, uttered a few obscene words to themselves, and raised their heads. to go.A group of students suddenly swarmed in from behind, most of them in uniform.They all turned their faces to look at these women with curious eyes.

"I'm afraid, there are so many people, I want to go back," Shuzhen said timidly, pulling Qin's sleeve. "What are you afraid of? They are human beings, and we are also human beings, and they don't know how to eat human beings," Qin turned her face and comforted softly. As Shuhua walked, she looked around curiously.She is interested in everything here, especially the towering Xinhai Baolu Memorial and the people coming and going.The spring wind blows warmly on her face.There is so much space around her.She didn't feel that anything was holding her back.She is not afraid at all.She proudly reprimanded Shuzhen and said, "Fourth sister, you wanted to come here yourself. When you got here, you said you wanted to go back. You are so brave. I don't fear it. I think it's fun." Shuzhen's face flushed slightly. , she looked very pitiful, lowered her head and fell silent.She attached Qin's arm and walked slowly.

Qin looked at Shuzhen lovingly, and comforted her with a smile: "Fourth cousin, don't be afraid. We are all here. I will protect you." Shuzhen remained silent, and Qin continued like teasing a child: "You Don't you often talk about seeing peacocks? We'll go to the animal exhibition to see peacocks in a while. It's so beautiful to see peacocks spreading their tails." "Yes," Shuzhen raised her head and gave Qin a grateful glance, and agreed vaguely. Afterwards, she mustered up the courage to look around again: the place is so big, many people went to the front, and many people came to this side.Everyone seems to be free.A little joy gradually appeared on her face.

"Second sister, what do you think? This is your first time, I believe you will not be afraid," Juemin suddenly asked softly in Shuying's ear. Shuying, who was walking slowly, was a little surprised by this question.Her feelings at this time were quite complicated, she seemed to be in a dream with thousands of changes, but she was suddenly awakened by her brother Juemin's words.She looked intently ahead, her eyes held high.What came into her eyes was a green tree.The green of spring, rich in life, caresses her eyes.Her eyes suddenly lit up.She raised her head higher again.Above is the endless blue sky, so clear that there is not a cloud.The breeze gently drifted past her, and gently penetrated into her chest, as if washing away all the stale air in her abdomen.She is appreciating this taste, she is discerning this taste.

"Second sister, I'm talking to you, why don't you say anything?" Juemin continued to ask in a low voice. Shuying turned her head to look at Juemin suddenly, and replied with a smile: "I can't say yet. I can't tell. ..." Afterwards, she lowered her voice and lost four words: "I'm not afraid. ""This is my good sister," Qin praised happily from the side." I originally said that our second sister is not just a rich lady. ""Sister Qin, you are mocking me again! "Shuying complained in a low voice. But she saw Qin's concerned and gratified eyes, and knew that Qin was really happy for her words, and she was also moved. She was a little excited and happy at the same time. She said with a trembling voice, "I depend on you all.You help me.In the future..." She couldn't continue for a while, so she swallowed the rest of the words.

"I know. Don't worry. In the future, as long as you make up your own mind, of course we will help," Qin replied hintingly, knowing what Shuying meant. "Second Miss, you don't have to worry. There is a solution to your affairs," Jian Yun interjected with courage and emotion.But his voice was very low, and he was afraid that Shuying would not be able to hear clearly.He didn't know what to say for a moment, so he simply kept his mouth shut. "I know too," Shuying answered four words in a low voice.People don't know whether she is answering Qin or Jian Yun's words.She wanted to continue talking, but Shuhua urged from the side: "Hurry up. You just talk and don't look at your eyes. Everyone is looking at us." Shuying looked up and saw some people throwing them head-on. curious eyes.Those eyes were very strange to her, they scratched her face, and then moved to her body, as if they had penetrated her clothes, she immediately blushed with embarrassment and bowed her head in silence.

Shuzhen held Qin's arm timidly, and leaned against Qin silently, as if she had lost even the courage to move her feet.She lowered her head, and her eyes fell on her deformed little feet from time to time. "Fourth cousin, what are you afraid of? Go quickly!" Qin urged Shuzhen in a low voice. Shuzhen responded vaguely, but still showed a look of fear.She looked at Qin and then at Shuying. "Fourth sister, no one will bully you. It's better to be at home than here, just be patient. It's not easy for us to come out for a trip, you have to see more happily," Shuying looked at Shuying sympathetically. Zhen softly persuaded.

Shuzhen nodded silently, and she mustered up the courage to follow them.But her eyes remained on the ground.She dared not raise her head to look straight ahead. Shuhua looked around with curious eyes indifferently.She knew that other people's eyes stopped on her face, she didn't blush, she still walked calmly.She wasn't bothered at all.She observed the novel surroundings with satisfaction.She didn't care much about Shuzhen's affairs. They passed a slope, and the faint sound of gongs and drums came to their ears.Then they heard a loud voice singing Xu Sheng from Peking Opera.It was played from the gramophone in the tea shed up front.

"Liu Hongsheng's "Yuanmen Zhanzi"," Shuhua said proudly to herself. No one paid any attention to her words.No one paid attention to the Peking opera in the tea shed.Juemin suddenly pointed to the tea shed and said, "It's right here, Jinjiangchun." The tea shed that Juemin pointed to was set up on a slightly sloping grass field, with three sides open, and the other side leaned against a pond, with several willow trees planted beside the pool, green and green. Some of the willow silk hang down to the surface of the water.Many low tables and chairs were placed in the tea shed, and many guests sat there.

Juemin walked towards the tea shed, and Jianyun and Shuying followed behind.Noisy voices rushed towards him.Shuzhen's face suddenly changed and she stopped.She whispered: "I want to go back." "You go back, can you find the way?" Shuhua asked with a smile. Shuzhen lowered her head in frustration and did not answer, walking slowly helplessly. "Fourth cousin, I told you earlier. With me here, you don't have to be afraid at all." Qin glanced at Shuzhen, and took Shuzhen's hand encouragingly.Shuzhen also quickened her pace submissively. Not far from the tea shed, Juemin suddenly heard a voice calling from behind: "Juemin, Juemin." He hastily turned his head to look.

What came was a slender young man, wearing a long gray cloth gown, with a long black and yellow face, but with a pair of radiant eyes embedded in it. "Cunren, are you here?" Juemin nodded with a smile and said kindly.He stopped and waited for the man to come to him. The man responded, and when he saw Qin beside him, he greeted with a smile: "Miss Zhang is here too? I haven't seen you for a long time, okay." Afterwards, he looked at the three Shuying sisters in surprise, but they didn't Asking something, he began to talk to Juemin in a low voice. Qin greeted the young man politely.When Shuying saw someone coming, they hurriedly avoided them, keeping a distance from Juemin.Lian Shuzhen also left Qin and went to Shuying and Shuhua.Noticing this situation, Qin walked over to Shuying and whispered, "This is Huang Cunren. Last year when my second cousin ran away from marriage, he lived in his house. All thanks to his help. ""Oh," Shuying responded casually, but she couldn't help but secretly glanced at Huang Cunren. This is a very common appearance. She also heard Juemin mention this name. She only knew that Huang Cunren was his two cousins She is a classmate of hers, and she runs "Liqun Weekly" with her cousin. She just read the new issue of "Liqun Weekly" yesterday. She was very moved by the words in the newspaper and opened a The new vision aroused some desire in her. Although it was just some simple truths, she received great support in those articles. Qin mentioned the matter of Juemin's escape from marriage, which she witnessed with her own eyes. A clear and indelible proof that those visions and those longings were not hypocritical things, achievable even by someone like herself. A strange feeling filled her heart, something she had never felt before. Maybe she was inspired by hope, maybe she was tortured by anxiety. She didn't know for sure. She was very excited, and she blushed slightly, and her movements became more unnatural. Jean didn't notice this.When Shuhua heard Qin say that it was Huang Cunren, she just looked at him curiously, not feeling a little restrained.Only Jian Yun silently observed Shuying's every move.He saw all the changes in her facial expression; but he could not understand the reason for her blushing, or it could be said that he thought he understood, but it was actually a misunderstanding.His face was gloomy.There are two emotions fighting in his heart, maybe more than two kinds; jealousy, annoyance, concern, pity, he has all these emotions.He suppressed them, he didn't let them burst out, he just chewed them secretly.He's already in the habit of doing this.But now he had no time, for they were already in front of the tea shed.What appeared before his eyes were many strange heads and many pairs of greedy eyes.He heaved a sigh of annoyance, which made Shuying, who was slightly embarrassed, turned her head to look at him in surprise.He noticed Shuying's eyes and was very excited.But he still pretended not to notice, raising his eyes to look ahead, looking for a suitable seat. "Mr. Chen, why don't you come here often," Shuying asked gently. "Oh," he didn't expect her to ask this question, and spit out the word in panic. He quickly and politely replied: "I don't come too often." A table under a willow tree by the pool had just been vacated, and a few bamboo chairs were scattered around, and a waiter was wiping the table with a rag.Jian Yun caught sight of that table and thought: There is nothing better than that.He pointed there and said to Shuying in a low voice: "Second Miss, do you think that table is okay? Let's hurry up and occupy it." Before Shuying could answer, Shuhua rushed to say: "Very well, let's hurry up Go." Jian Yun hurriedly passed through the middle of the tea table, and ran to the front of the table. When Juemin and Huang Cunren entered the tea shed, they saw their friend Zhang Huiru and three other members sitting on the teahouse in the left corner by the pool.Three tables were put together, and a few rattan chairs were placed around them.Zhang Huiru sat there with a smile on her face, eating peanuts and speaking loudly.He saw Juemin and Huang Cunren coming in all the way, so he came to meet them. "Sister Qin, how are you? Where do you sit first?" Juemin suddenly asked Qin. Shuzhen walked back to Qin's side again, and secretly pinched Qin's hand tightly, making her thin body tremble slightly. Qin looked down at Shuzhen, then replied with a smile: "I'll sit with my fourth cousin first. They are very close anyway." Juemin walked towards Zhang Huiru without saying anything. Shuzhen kept pulling the hand of the qin, and said in a trembling voice: "Sister Qin, let's go around that way, and go around that way." "Fourth sister, you are always afraid of seeing people like a mouse! I knew it earlier, or It’s better if I don’t take you out,” Shuhua taunted impatiently.But the voice is not too loud, the Beijing opera in the tea shed covers it up, and the people inside will not hear it. Qin glanced at Shuzhen again. She understood Shuzhen's thoughts, so she walked around from the side to the front according to Shuzhen's words.Thus they avoided the many greedy eyes. Jian Yun sat on a bamboo chair and waited for them.When he saw them coming, he stood up and waved to them with a smile.They walked to the tea table, where the teapot, teacups, and plates containing melon seeds and peanuts were already set up. As soon as they sat down, the waiter wrung out warm handkerchiefs from inside, and they took them and wiped their hands casually. "The waiter's appearance is really disgusting, why is he looking at people like this?" Shuhua laughed and scolded in a low voice after waiting for the waiter to enter. "You don't know, there are very few female guests here to drink tea, and young ladies like you probably haven't been here before, so even the waiters are surprised," Qin Jie explained. Shuhua just picked up her cup and took a sip of tea. When she heard Qin's words, she replied indifferently: "Then we should come more in the future. We will come more. They are used to seeing it, so they don't think it's surprising." It wouldn't be good for the third dad to meet," Shuzhen said with a little anxiety as she sat upright on the chair. Shuying stared at the water surface intently.She didn't have to think at all at the moment.She seemed to be resting her brooding mind.But when she heard Shuzhen's words, it was as if a scoop of cold water had been poured on someone's head, and she felt uncomfortable all over her body.A dark mist appeared before her eyes.She secretly bit the skin of her lips, trying to sweep away an unpleasant thought that suddenly hit her. "Don't worry, the third dad won't come here," Shuhua said comfortingly. "The third cousin is right. It's rare for such a coincidence to happen in the world. Since we're here, we'll have a good time playing." Seeing Shuying's melancholy expression, Qin used these words to comfort Shuying and Shuzhen.Afterwards, she turned around to look at Juemin's table. At this time, the people over there seemed to have arrived.What are they discussing vigorously.The voice is not loud, but the expression of the conversation is very enthusiastic.Juemin had just finished speaking, and was raising his eyes to look at her.The eyes of the two people looked at each other. Smiles immediately appeared in the corners of the two people's eyes.Juemin nodded slightly, asking Qin to go over.With an encouraging smile, Qin turned her head and said to Shuying: "Second cousin, let's sit over there, shall we?" Shuying slightly raised her face to look at Qin, her eyes suddenly lit up, her Her lips moved slightly, she wanted to say something, but she didn't say it.She sneaked her eyes to Juemin's table.The many strange young people who are discussing enthusiastically!There was another blush on her face.My heart beats harder.She tried to calm herself down, but it didn't work.She shook her head and said to Qin: "You go, I won't go, I'll just watch you here." Qin stood up, walked to Shuying, bowed her head and said in Shuying's ear, "Go and sit for a while." It's okay, it doesn't matter. Be more courageous. It's interesting for you to sit and listen to them, and you don't need to speak up yourself. You don't have to be shy. Go, go, come with me." Qin said, reaching out to pull Shu Ying's shoulder.Shuying thought about going there to sit with so many brave and lively young people. This seemed to be a dream of her own, but she suddenly became timid again, and blushed and begged in a low voice: "Sister Qin, I'm not used to it." , I’m afraid. You should go alone.” Qin thought for a while and said straightforwardly: “Alright, I’ll go, and I’ll be back in a while.” She looked at Shuying and smiled, then looked at Shuzhen , and said comfortingly: "Fourth cousin, if you play well, I'll be back." Seeing Shuzhen sitting there in good order, with her hands hanging down, she grabbed a handful of peanuts from the plate and put them on the bed. In front of Shuzhen, she also said: "Don't be a guest, just eat something casually, and it's not at a relative's house." "I know," Shuzhen replied.Seeing that Qin was about to turn around and leave, she suddenly asked in a low voice: "Sister Qin, where is the peacock?" Her pair of small eyes flickered on Qin's face. Qin smiled slightly.The feeling of pity was like a small thorn lightly poking her heart.But she tried to bear it.She looked at Shuzhen with very gentle eyes, and said kindly, "I'll come back to see the peacocks with you in a while." She walked towards Juemin. Juemin often pays close attention to Qin's actions these days, and now when he sees Qin approaching, he stands up and waits for her to approach.The discussion at this table also came to a temporary halt because of Qin's arrival. Everyone greeted Qin.There are eleven people including Juemin at this table, except for a twenty-six or seven-year-old man with an old face and a serious expression, Qin has seen the rest of them.Juemin introduced the stranger to her.Fang Jishun, this name is familiar to her.She knew that he was the editor of the defunct "Student Tide" weekly magazine, where he published a long article titled "Moral Revolution", which was published in three consecutive issues, in which he attacked several important members of the Confucian Church , the big celebrities and old gentlemen in the provincial capital once aroused the criticism of the general conservatives. If it weren't for the protests of the student union at that time ("Student Tide" is the journal of the student union), he would have Expelled from the Higher Normal School.This matter has been a struggle.As a result of the struggle, Fang Jishun himself did not suffer any damage. He just resigned from the editorship of "Student Tide" and was replaced by another classmate with a more moderate thinking.This happened two years ago, but it has not been forgotten by many young people even though "Student Wave" has ceased publication.Qin naturally will not forget.And Feng Leshan was one of the celebrities attacked by Fang Jishun.She knew Feng Leshan, she had seen it at Gao's house not long ago, and heard what Wan'er said as relayed by Shuhua.She hated the hypocrite, the hypocrite, for all sorts of things.The facts convinced her that Fang Jishun's attack was justified.What Fang Jishun said seemed to be what she wanted to say but couldn't say.Fang Jishun actually wrote it bravely.The pressure of the old society did not bring him to his knees.He is still standing so firmly in front of her.He smiled at her gently and spoke to her in a clear and steady voice.She was moved, even with a little reverence, to answer his question. Everyone gave up their seats to Qin.She sat down on a chair next to Juemin.She felt so at ease, as if she were sitting among the most trustworthy friends.In fact, she has only met most of the people here, and she has never had a deep conversation with them.But she knew a lot about these people from Juemin.So she can trust them like Juemin.She doesn't feel restricted. The conversation continued.It's about the weekly newspaper.Some important things have already been discussed.At this time, it was the turn of the reelection of staff and the development plan of the weekly newspaper.Meetings have no form, not even a chairman.However, Fang Jishun became the chairman invisibly.Many issues were raised by him, and everyone discussed and decided.Everyone sits around the table in any posture they like, and everyone expresses their opinions freely without standing up, and their speaking attitude is not like a speech.A meeting is very much like a heart-to-heart conversation between friends, but it is also very serious and enthusiastic in addition to being cordial.There are different opinions, but there are only brief debates, but no quarrels. Jean listened attentively to what they were talking about, feeling great interest.She had never had such an experience before.This many faces full of enthusiasm and joy, this many sincere conversations, this determination to sacrifice to do a good work for society, this deep friendship of mutual trust, these people come together and do not talk In his own affairs, he did not show his thoughts for himself.These people seem to be brothers of the same country, but there is seldom such a deep friendship between brothers.Hasn't she seen enough of the relationship between her uncles who uphold the old ethics and oppose the new culture?This little realization threw a ray of light, a hope, in her heart.Her heart trembled slightly with genuine joy.She raised her eyes to look at Shuying from time to time. She hoped that Shuying could also sit here and get the impression she got.She saw Shuying secretly looking at this side, and Shuying also showed a touched expression on her face.She cast a suggestive glance over, asking Shuying to come here too.Shuying smiled slightly, and shook her head a little embarrassedly. She also responded with a smile.She looked at Shuzhen again, and Shuzhen was waving at her.She nodded.Juemin also cast an encouraging glance on Shuying's face.Shuying looked back and forth at him with grateful eyes.These actions were seen by people in other teahouses, and people watched curiously and frivolously. Fang Jishun's calm and powerful voice attracted Juemin and Qin's attention again.Now is the time to re-elect the staff.It has just been decided to increase the number of permanent staff from four to seven.This was proposed by Huang Cunren and was approved by everyone.The procedure for changing staff is simple.It is not difficult to choose seven people among these ten people.Let everyone freely propose some names first, and then let everyone approve and decide. This thing went well.Each named whomever he thought was most suitable, and no one who was nominated never stood up and said a word of refusal, as if it were an obligation.The old staff has not changed.Zhang Huiru is still the editor of the weekly newspaper.Huang Cunren is now a full-time accountant, but he was promoted to be a manager.Fang Jishun originally replaced Huang Cunren as the editor of several weekly newspapers, but this time he was officially selected as the editor.In addition, a young man named Chen Chi was added to share the general affairs of Zhang Huanru (Zhang Huiru's brother).At the same time, two new editors will be added. "Juemin, I give Juemin," Huang Cunren called out the name, and his voice flew over several tea tables to Sister Shuying's ears. "Listen, I'm recommending my second brother, I don't know what to recommend him for," Shuhua suddenly said to Shuying in surprise.She listened attentively, finding it very interesting. Shuying ignored her.She heard part of their conversation, and she knew that they had recommended Juemin to be the editor of the weekly newspaper.She was also very happy to see that people valued her cousin. At the teahouse over there, Juemin heard Huang Cunren call out his name. He was very excited and wanted to stand up and refuse, but he felt that it should not be done. No one else said a word of excuse.So the name passed.He was elected to be the editor of the weekly newspaper together with Fang Jishun and Zhang Huiru.He was excited, as if he had been sent on a great mission.When he thought of that position and those things, he was a little afraid, afraid that he was not capable enough to do things well; I only do a little help in the weekly newspaper, and I don't do much. Now he has the opportunity, and he is with Fang Jishun and Zhang Huiru. They will guide him how to contribute his strength properly.Besides, he had other feelings.In short, his mood at this time is difficult to describe, even he himself is not sure. There is also one missing editor, as it was decided to add two editors this time.After Juemin's name was approved, Zhang Huiru rushed to say: "There is one less editor, and I recommend Ms. Zhang." "Ms. Zhang Yunhua, I also recommend," Huang Cunren immediately echoed enthusiastically. Jean looked around in surprise.Everyone's faces are very solemn.She suspected she had misheard.But the words "Zhang Yunhua" were clearly sent to her ears.This is her name.They actually recommended her to be the editor of "Liqun Weekly", which was beyond her expectation.She didn't know what she should do at first.She doesn't have that kind of experience, and she feels that her abilities are too poor.Although she published two articles in the weekly newspaper, her arguments were shallow.She has only read some publications that spread new ideas, and even if she reads them very carefully, she knows only a few things.She felt that she was naive and had many shortcomings, so she was not qualified to be an editor.And she still has some scruples.She thought of her mother's disapproval and her relatives' disapproval.While she was hesitating, everyone had already passed her name.Many people's eyes are focused on her face.Although these were friendly and encouraging eyes, she also blushed from embarrassment.She lowered her eyes and refused to look at people, reluctantly saying: "Don't elect me. I can't do it, I can't do it well. I'm not capable enough." "Listen, Sister Qin is talking, and they are also pushing her to be an editor," in another At a teahouse, Shuhua was listening to Jianyun talking to Shuzhen, suddenly turned her head and said happily to Shuying. Shuying blushed slightly and replied "Yes".She stared intently at Jean.She was excited, too, as if she herself had been elected editor.She had some fantasies, and she felt that she was Qin at this time.She wondered what she should do, and she wondered if she would feel pleasure or pain if she did so.She also thought about the difference between her and Qin, why she couldn't be a woman like Qin, and whether she could be like Qin.The more she thought about it, the more confused her thoughts became.Her thoughts seemed to be a mess of ropes, the more she tried to deal with it, the more entangled she became.Sometimes she encountered a flash of lightning, and sometimes a few large black clouds. Jian Yun has been talking to Shuzhen these days.Shuzhen asked him something, and he explained it to her.He spoke slowly, because sometimes he secretly watched Qin's movements, and sometimes secretly observed Shuying's expression.He knew that Qin was happy.But Shuying didn't talk much all the time, he was very worried about her.He tried to get her attention with words.Most of what he said to Shuzhen was about various things about the park, which they would not know in the mansion, and half of what he said was to Shuying.Shuying didn't know his intention.Instead, her attention was attracted by the conversation between Qin and others on the other table. "What? What did they recommend Sister Qin for?" Shuzhen felt puzzled and asked Jian Yun anxiously. "To be an editor," Shuhua rushed to answer triumphantly. "Editor, what is an editor?" Shuzhen asked solemnly. Shuhua couldn't answer by herself, so she said impatiently: "An editor is an editor, and I don't even understand this, so why ask?" Shuzhen stopped making a sound after hitting a snag. "Miss Qin is really capable, they all admire her," Jian Yun was moved and said to himself in admiration. These words entered Shuying's ears clearly, and entered her heart.She was a little happy and a little sad.She bit her lip slightly, thinking why she couldn't be a woman like Qin.The thought seemed like a hope, and it gave her a little comfort and courage.But then a big shadow hit immediately, covering up the hope at once.There seemed to be many rocks standing in front of her eyes, blocking her way forward.Desperate thoughts stung like a bee's sting on her tender heart, and she felt it swell with pain. Jian Yun saw her expression.Jian Yun didn't know what kind of unpleasant thoughts were tormenting her, so he asked softly, "Second Miss, are you not feeling well?" Shuying turned her face to look at him abruptly, and responded casually. "Oh", he forced a smile and replied afterwards: "I'm fine, it's rare to go out, and I feel refreshed sitting here." "I see that your face is a little sad, did you think of something unpleasant again? "Jian Yun pondered for a long while, wanting to speak, and finally mustered up the courage to say the above words. Shuying glanced at Jian Yun in surprise, then lowered her head to look at the table, and said to herself: "There are too many unpleasant things, but—" She suddenly swallowed the following words, and sighed in a low voice. tone. "Actually, Second Miss, a person like you shouldn't think like that." Seeing her sad face was more embarrassing for Jian Yun than thinking about his own pain.He is a man who thinks very little of himself.He lived a lonely and humiliating life in peace, without any ambition or injustice.He often compares his existence to a dark night in which two stars shine.The first one is the piano.The last one was Shuying, which was discovered only recently.These two stars were hanging high in the sky, and he dared not touch them.He knew he was hopeless.He adored them, and he dared not even make them aware of his devotion.The first star rose gradually, until he could no longer see her brilliance.Only this second star shines in his sky, so he cherishes her more than his own life.He didn't seem to be comforting, but seemed to be pleading earnestly: "You are very young, younger than Miss Qin. Now is your golden age. You are no better than us. You shouldn't often think about those unpleasant things. You are a very smart person, you don't know that sorrow can hurt people." He looked at her slightly sad face, and he felt a twinge in his heart.Many words came from the bottom of my heart.But his throat seemed to be suddenly blocked by something.He felt her eyes begging for help across his face, and he felt that all the blood in his body rushed to his face.He could no longer look at her face.He lifted his eyes to see the surface of the pond shining in the sun.But what he saw on the water was still the face of the gentle and gentle girl with sadness. "Mr. Chen, I also understand what you mean," Shuying smiled gratefully and said in a steady voice, but in Jian Yun's ears, it sounded like a whining. "I just blame myself for being too cowardly and naive. I often can't think about it, and I often fall into unreasonable sorrow. Only sister Qin and second brother sometimes come to enlighten me. But sister Qin can't come to our house often; Many, not often at home. I don’t even go out the door on weekdays. All I see at home all day are flowers blooming and withering, the moon is full and the moon is waxing, or some annoying things. So I always have a lot of sad days , There are few days to laugh." The more she continued, the longer her voice became, the more it sounded like a sigh.At the end of her talk, she suddenly lowered her head and remained silent for a moment, which made Jian Yun think painfully: She is crying.But in fact she didn't cry.She raised her head slowly and smiled like a little girl.She added: "I have a lot of dreams. I have had a few strange dreams recently. It's funny to say that sometimes I hope that one or two kind-hearted people will come to save me. I'm afraid that I will continue thinking like this. I will think crazy in the future." Although Shuying was talking to Jianyun, her eyes always turned a little bit away to look at Shuzhen, or at willow trees, or at the water surface.However, Jian Yun's eyes hovered over her face from time to time, sometimes touching the corners of her eyes lightly, and then avoiding them timidly.He listened attentively to her all the time.He had never been so excited before.Several thoughts battled in his mind.His heart seemed to be rushing upward desperately, trying to jump out of his mouth.He wanted to say a word, he was about to say a word.His lips moved several times.But his heart was beating so hard that he could not utter a clear word. His face turned red all of a sudden, and beads of sweat dripped from his forehead.He felt that the sisters were looking at him in astonishment. He felt that they already knew his secret, and they would be angry with him.He didn't know what to do properly.He was a little anxious, and appeared flustered and restless.He took a sip from the teacup when he suddenly coughed, put the cup back on the table, lowered his head and took out a handkerchief to cover his mouth and coughed a few times.Only then did Sister Shuying startled and looked at him with concern.Shuying changed him to a cup of hot tea, put it in front of him, and said gently: "Mr. Chen, you will feel better after drinking a cup of hot tea." After talking, he stopped coughing, wiped his nose again, and quickly picked up the cup and took two sips of hot tea.He paused again, hissed, and drank the tea in another gulp. "Mr. Chen, you should take good care of your body. We rarely see you laughing. Is there something unsatisfactory about you?" Shuying asked with concern when she saw Jian Yun put down the cup. When she said the last sentence The voice is low and not very clear. Jian Yun glanced at her exploratoryly, with gratitude in his eyes.Before he could answer, Shuhua rushed to say: "Brother said he studied hard, so he was not in good health." Jian Yun smiled bitterly, and argued: "How can I say that I work hard? Sometimes A person has nothing to do when he is idle, and he has no interest in playing, so he has to read books for entertainment. It was only those few books that I turned over.How can I compare with you in terms of hard work? "A shameful smile appeared on Shuying's mouth, and she said: "Then we should be ashamed even more.When I learn English from you, I often fail to review it properly because I am in a bad mood and can't cheer up.It is really disappointing to meet such a disappointing student. ""Second Miss, where is your fault?It's all because I can't teach the law.It's my luck that you don't complain," Jian Yun said fearfully. "Sister Qin isn't here yet," Shuzhen said to herself impatiently, her mouth curled up. The phonograph had been silent for a while, when someone went to the counter to order a play, and the annoyingly loud drums and drums began to sound again. 琴在那边会议席上想辞掉编辑职务，黄存仁第一个发言挽留她：“密斯张不要推辞了。这不是能力的问题，这是责任的问题。要说能力不够，我们大家都是能力不够。今天被选到的还有六个人，并不见有哪一个推辞过。”黄存仁说话时，态度诚恳。他读过琴的文章，他还从觉慧（那时他还没有逃出家庭）、觉民两人的口里先后知道了不少关于琴的事情。他对她有很大的好感，所以他希望她能够同他们大家在一起工作。 “存仁的话很对，密斯张不要再推辞了，”张惠如立刻响应道。 琴还想说话，觉民却在旁边低声对她说：“你就答应下来罢。横竖我也在，大家可以帮忙。学学做点事情也好。姑妈那里，不让她晓得，就没有问题。”琴亲切地对觉民笑了笑，沉吟半晌，便同意地点了点头。 两边脸颊依旧发红。两只眼睛抬起来承受众人的鼓舞的眼光。 她声音清脆地说：“那么我不推辞了。不过我的能力的确不够，还要请大家时常指教我。”她红着脸微微笑一下，就故意偏过头去跟觉民讲话。 黄存仁他们接着说了两三句谦虚的话。以后大家便继续讨论别的事情。 讨论进行得很顺利。各人把自己想说的话全说了出来，而且说得很清楚。这些见解都是跟实际很接近的，没有多余的空话，也没有无谓的争论。众人兴奋地同时也亲切地谈论着，每个人都表示了极大的关心，仿佛在谈个人切身的事。他们决定了怎样筹集周报社的基金；怎样增加周报的篇幅和印数；怎样扩大地征求社员；怎样募捐创办图书馆……等等事情。 琴并不插进去说话，她只顾注意地听着、看着。她表示出很大的关心。这眼前的一切，对于她似乎是完全陌生的，但是她又觉得是十分自然的，而且又正是她所盼望的。这小小茶棚的一角仿佛变成一所庄严的寺院，她也成了一个虔诚的香客了。一种幸福的感觉从她的心底升上来。过去的许多阴影和未来的种种可能的障碍都被她暂时忘掉了。她好像就立在天堂的门前，一举步便可以得到永生的幸福一样。她怀着这种心情抬起头去看淑英的一桌。她看见淑英、淑华两人在跟剑云谈话。她遇到了淑贞的焦盼的眼光。她的幸福的感觉被这眼光驱走了一半，代替它的是同情，对于淑贞、淑英姊妹的同情。她立刻想起她已经在这边坐了许久了。她带了点不安地看觉民。觉民的眼光同她的遇在一起，他便对她说：“你到那边去罢。”他好像猜到了她的心思似的。 “嗯，”她轻轻答应一声，便站起来向众人说了两句抱歉的话，然后向淑英那一桌走去。好几个人带了赞美的眼光看她的垂着辫子的背影。 琴刚刚走到茶桌前面，淑贞就热烈地把她的左手紧紧握着。淑贞的小眼睛里包了泪水。她感动地看了淑贞一眼，怜惜地说：“你看，你又要哭了。为了什么事情？”“我没有哭，我等你好久你都不过来，”淑贞像得到救星似地快活地说，但是泪水同时沿着眼角流了下来。 “你还说没有哭？眼泪都流到嘴边了，”淑华插嘴嘲笑道。 “这都是我不好。我在那边坐得太久了，”琴抱歉地对淑贞说。她在竹椅上坐了下来。 淑英斟了一杯茶，放在琴的面前，她把琴看了半晌，忽然说：“琴姐，我真羡慕你。”琴不直接回答这句话，却对她说：“其实你也该过去坐坐。 你听得清楚他们谈话罢？“”我也听清楚了一些。只怪我太懦弱，我有点害怕，……“淑英有点懊悔地说。她的话还没有说完，却被淑华的低声的惊唤打岔了：”看，那不是五爸？“众人一齐掉头往淑华指的方向看。克定陪着一个三十左右的妇人正向茶棚这面走来，已经走到了门口。 “琴姐，”淑贞轻轻地唤了一声，她吓得浑身发抖，脸色十分惨白。她慌忙站起来躲到琴的身边，抓住琴的膀子，不知道怎样做才好。 “四表妹，不要紧，有我在，你就躲在我椅子背后，”琴镇静地安慰淑贞道，她把竹椅略微移动一下。淑华也把椅子拉拢一点。这样她们就把淑贞的身子遮掩住了。 淑英也有点惊慌。她红着脸低下头，把背掉向着克定来的方向。 “那个妇人就是礼拜一，”淑华低声说。她知道礼拜一是克定在外面租了小公馆讨来的妓女。那个妇人有一张瓜子脸，细眉毛，脸上涂得又红又白，一张小嘴擦得像染了鸡血似的。 她穿了一身玉色滚蓝边的衫裤，一双改组派的脚走起路来摇摇摆摆的。在他们的后面跟随着仆人高忠。高忠先看见琴和淑华，故意咳了一声嗽。 克定只顾跟那个妇人讲话，走进茶棚来，随意地朝里面看了看，想找一个好的茶座。他听见高忠的咳嗽声，忽然抬起头往前面一看。琴、淑华、淑英这三张脸先后映入他的眼帘。（他不曾看见剑云，剑云走到柳树前面去了。）这是他完全想不到的事情。他大吃一惊，连忙掉开头，但无意中又碰见了另一桌上觉民的眼光。他脸一红，连忙俯下头掉转身子，慌慌张张地拉着礼拜一溜走了。 克定的背影完全消失了以后，琴才回头向着躲在椅子背后的淑贞说：“四表妹，他们走了。”“他们会再来的，”淑贞战战兢兢地说，她还不肯走出来。 “他们不会来了。五爸看见我们逃都逃不赢，哪儿还敢再来？”淑华觉得好笑地挖苦道。 淑贞畏缩地从椅子背后慢慢地转了出来。 “不过我们在公园里头给五爸看见了也不好，偏巧第一趟就给他碰见，”淑英皱着眉头懊悔地说。 “怕他做什么？我们也看见了他同礼拜一，”淑华毫不在意地说。 剑云带着沉思的样子慢步走了回来，静静地听她们说话“琴姐，我们回去罢，”淑贞忽然央求道。 “就回去？你不是要看孔雀开屏吗？”淑华问道。 淑贞没精打采地摇头说：“我不看了。”“我想还是早点回去好，”淑英低声说，她的脸上现出忧虑的表情。 “好罢，我陪你们回去，等我过去给二表哥说一声，”琴同意地说，就站起来。