Chapter 59 58

Zhaodi only learned two operas, one "Fenhe Bay" and one "Red Luan Jubilee".She is quite clever, but her heart is like a little dead fish, and she will go down the current with a gust of wind and run a long way.She refuses to put in the effort to learn one thing.Her overall purpose is to enjoy.Enjoyment happens to be limitless: eating is enjoying, drinking is also enjoying; being in love is enjoying, singing a few lines, getting a little vanity is also enjoying.She wants to enjoy it all.When others went skating, but she didn't go, she felt wronged and shed a few small tears.However, she can't participate in all the excitement. First, she doesn't have the ability to clone herself, and second, she hasn't conquered time yet, and being able to teach time is always waiting for her.Therefore, she could only allocate herself in the time as much as possible, like the second hand on a clock, she was not idle all day long.

In this way, she can cause many small troubles.She went ice skating, which delayed her drama studies.Moreover, if she gets a little cold on the ice rink, her voice will immediately become hoarse. No matter how low the huqin is, she can't raise it enough, and she is so anxious that she will saliva all over her body.Similarly, if one of three boyfriends invites her to watch a movie, another invites her to a theater, and another invites her to go to a park for dinner, she will not be able to go to three places at the same time, and she will definitely find it difficult.If you say goodbye to two people, you will offend two friends.If you only watch half a movie, then watch a play, and finally go to dinner, you will have to spend a lot of talking and tell a lot of lies, and you may offend all three friends.Besides, running around in such a hurry is too tiring.The enjoyment of love often requires complete possession, rather than flinging east and west.Sometimes it needs to be admired in a secluded place with eyes closed, rather than a noisy thing.Sometimes she almost thinks of cutting off watching movies, listening to operas, going to parks, and eating restaurants, and only loves one boyfriend, and make love really look like, don't put it like a love diagram.However, she was reluctant to part with the excitement.After all, the excitement gave her some excitement.If she was confined in the Biyun Temple in Xishan, without movies, dramas, gongs and drums, and shouting, even though she had a very lovely lover by her side, she might go crazy, she thought.Too much enjoyment will turn enjoyment into stimulation, and stimulation will become more and more brutal.From listening to the jokes, she gradually came to appreciate Xiaosheng, because Xiaosheng's squeaky voice was straighter and harsher than Tsing Yi's, and it was more piercing.She also loves to listen to martial arts, and it is not the kind of martial arts sung by Yang Xiaolou. She likes "Red Gate Temple", "Iron Rooster", "Qingshi Cave" and the like, which have no plot and only show martial arts. .The louder the gongs and drums were, the happier she felt; she would doze off when she encountered performances such as "Colorful House Matching" and "Worshiping the Pagoda".Even the movies are the same, she likes to watch those ruthless, chaotic movies.Only messing around can give her a little impression. She needs strong stimulation.

She also tends to get bored with her boyfriends.They always coincidentally play that set of little tricks that don't hurt or itch.None of them had Li Kongshan.Because she hated them, she missed Li Kongshan all the time.Li Kongshan was not gentle and considerate, but he gave her some stimulation.She didn't dare to choose one of them to make Li Kongshan.She has to enjoy, but she also has to be careful; once she has a baby, everything is over.Besides, if you love only one man, other men will definitely not give her gifts, which is also a loss.She had no choice but to fool around in a daze, she got everything, but she didn't seem to get everything, even she herself couldn't figure out what was going on.In a daze, sometimes she could see by chance that she should be like this, because she was carrying some kind of mission, a kind of mission obtained after the Japanese occupied Beiping.She wants to be like this, her friends want her to be like this, and her parents want her to be like this; isn't this a mission or what?

Among her boyfriends, she was more satisfied with the new actors she had made.Their bodies are strong, their actions are frivolous, and their speech is rough.With them, she could almost forget that she was a woman, and no one spoke the village language without blushing.She thought it was healthy. It has become a fashion for men to favor female actresses and women to favor male actors, which is not surprising at all.However, her friends often accuse her of not dating male actors.This gave her a lot of pain.She can do whatever others can do. She is a person with a "mission" and cannot be left behind.Why can't she be friends with the actor?At the same time, she dared not openly open fire with her friends, and absolutely refused to accept their criticism.She is a person with a "mission". She must be popular everywhere so that she can always put herself at the forefront of society.She can't offend people casually, and even invite a boo.

She is busy, confused, and tired; she has to calculate, but it is inconvenient to calculate; she has to be bold, but she should be careful; she feels at a loss, but she doesn't seem to be completely at a loss;She didn't know what to do, and she felt that everything was fine.She lost weight.When she didn't wear powder, her face was obviously yellow and dark, and there were dark circles around her eyes.Sometimes she wants to rest and rest, but she can't. Things force her to move.She didn't know if she was sick or not, but she just felt that sometimes she was floating in the fog.After putting on rouge and powder, she felt confident again. She was still strong and beautiful, and she didn't have to worry about her health at all.She learned to smoke cigarettes and dared to drink two glasses of strong wine.She has lost her youth, but she is not old.She happens to be an energetic, mission-oriented, popular and blessed little lady.

In such rush, toil, confusion, pride, pain, and joy, she only inadvertently did a good deed, she saved Tongfang. In order to avoid, or delay, the danger of falling into fireworks, Tongfang tried her best to catch the second miss. She didn't hate Zhaodi very much, and she didn't want to destroy Zhaodi by encouraging Zhaodi to mess around.She is a woman who has been ruined by others, and she cannot bear to see any young woman become like herself.She only hates the big red bag and the Japanese.She couldn't sit and wait for the big red bag to drive her to a brothel. Once in the brothel, she couldn't take revenge.So, she caught Zhaodi as her cover.Behind the cover, she can only push it hard, and add a little soil or a few pieces of wood to it from time to time to strengthen its resistance.She can't persuade Zhaodi with cold water, causing Zhaodi's displeasure; as soon as Zhaodi hates her, she loses her cover, and the bullets in the big red bag can hit her at any time.

Zhaodi is young and likes people to obey her and flatter her.At the beginning, she also seemed to see that Tong Fang's friendship was a kind of political strategy.However, after a few days, she felt comfortable with Tong Fang's eloquence, knowledgeable, and good at observing facial expressions, and she believed that Tong Fang was sincerely on good terms with her.Some more days passed.She trusted Tong Fang unknowingly, but gradually became indifferent to her mother.Yes, she knows that her mother really loves her; however, she is no longer a three-year-old kid, and she can make up her own mind if she wants, instead of letting her mother decide everything for her.She doesn't want to be her mother's appendage forever.Take a little thing: when she went out with her mother, even if she met her own young friends, they would greet her first and then her.She was next to her mother, as if she was just an exhibit of her mother's achievements; her beauty happened to be the credit of her mother, and she didn't seem to have the glory she deserved alone.Conversely, if she is with Tongfang, she is the master, and Tongfang is the guest, she is the sun, and Tongfang is the moon.She feels comfortable.Her words can become an order to Tong Fang.When she is undecided, she can discuss with Tong Fang, but this kind of discussion only shows intimacy, which is very different from accepting orders.With Tongfang, her glory is indeed entirely her own.Moreover, Tong Fang is much younger than her mother, and her appearance is still passable, so when she goes in and out with Tong Fang, she feels that she is Chuyue, and Tong Fang is a little star beside the hook of the moon, even more so. Enough to make the picture beautiful.When you are with your mother, people will inevitably laugh when they take a look at the old-fashioned mother and then at her who is as beautiful as a spring flower, just like watching a funny movie.This often made her blush.

Da Chi Bao's eyes don't rub the sand.She understood Tong Fang's intention at a glance.But those who don't rub the sand in their eyes may not be able to tolerate a few sand in their hearts.She recognized that Zhaodi was a rare treasure, and she would definitely become Concubine Yang or the Queen Mother in the future.On the one hand, she has to control this treasure, and on the other hand, she has to please the young lady.If there is a conflict between mother and daughter because of Tongfang, and the daughter is angry and marries a dubious one, who looks like a beautiful rabbit egg but does not have a bucket of white rice at home, wouldn’t it be that she smashed her own agate plate and jade bowl? ?No, she can't help but make an exception, teach Miss to get comfortable in small things, and then she has to obey her mother in big things.Besides, the daughter's flower is not long in bloom, and the younger brother must be married in the heyday.After her daughter gets married, she will take care of Tongfang again.No matter, no matter what, no matter when, she must clean up Tong Fang; even when she is seventy or eighty, and she is about to enter the grave, she must first clean up Tong Fang before she can die in peace.

In this new situation, only Gaudi suffered.She couldn't get her mother's love, looked down on her sister's behavior, and lost Tong Fang's friendship.Yes, she understands Tong Fang's deliberate indifference to her, but reason cannot completely overcome emotion.She is a girl and she needs love or affection.She lives in an ice cellar now, and it's cold everywhere, and she can't stand it.Sometimes she hated herself, why didn't she let go of her courage and break out of Peiping.Sometimes, she also thought of ending her life in the ice cellar with marriage.But who to marry?When she thought of marriage, she also thought of danger, for marriage was not always as beneficial as cod liver oil.When she was at home, she felt cold; when she went out, she felt at a loss.Romantic, afraid of danger; honest, boring.She didn't know what to do.She often lost her temper, and even got angry with Tong Fang.However, the worse her temper, the less everyone likes her, and she just makes herself feel bored.Don't lose your temper, people are not just considerate of her.She became an orphan with parents and sisters.Sometimes, she also goes to some charity organizations, listens to the scriptures, and worships according to the circumstances.But this did not bring her peace and relief.On the contrary, after cooling down for a while in the air of bells, chimes and incense candles, she yearns for some stimulation even more, much like drinking hot tea after cold wine.She had no choice but to shed a few tears secretly.

It's getting cold.Can't buy coal.Every day, there are always many people who freeze to death on the street.The Japanese transported all the coal away, but they still wanted to show their kindness.They launched the Winter Relief and Recreation Conference, and used all the income to run the porridge factory, so as to teach those who should be frozen to death to be grateful to the Japanese when they are still alive.In addition to this meaning, they also taught the people of Peiping to have one more recreation; recreation is anesthesia.Those who should freeze to death will freeze to death, but they are willing to watch those who are not frozen to death hear the drums and see the excitement, so as to freeze their hearts.For this charity show, they especially encourage young people to join in. Those who can sing should come out to sing, and those who can play should come out to play. If young men and women pay attention to singing and playing, they will naturally forget about the nation and country.

Lan Dongyang and Fat Juzi personally invited Miss Zhaodi to participate in the entertainment.The people in the Guan family immediately felt excited, their hearts beat fast.With a beating heart, Guan Xiaohe pretended to be calm and said: "Miss, miss! The time has come, this time I have to sing it once or twice!" Brother Zhao immediately felt that his voice was a little dry, and said coquettishly, "That's not good! It's been a few days since I haven't hung my voice, Cier Not familiar. Going on stage? I can't leave that person alone! I'd better go skating!" "Shame? What are you talking about! Our Guan family will never do shameful things, my lady! No one has a strong voice, and there is a convenience. As long as you are willing to go on stage, you have to fart for them. Red! Anyway, the theater tickets were dispatched first, and it’s their luck that we sing well; if we can’t sing well, we deserve it!” Xiaohe was so excited that he almost forgot Wenya, and expressed his “irresponsibility” with all eyes truth. "I want to sing once!" Da Chibao said with great style: "After studying for so many days and spending so much money, what's the matter if you don't show it?" Then he turned to Dongyang: "Dongyang, We agreed on the matter! However, there is one condition: Zhaodi must sing the finale! No matter what role you have, you have to give in! My daughter can't act for others!" Dongyang already has some experience in running compulsory dramas.He knew that Zhaodi was not qualified to sing the finale, but he also knew that the Japanese like to ask out new people.After shaking his green face, he agreed to the terms.Although there are many difficulties in this, he knows that when it is impossible to do it, he can use power-the power of the Japanese-to force people to participate.So he also showed his majesty in a casual way: "Whoever I teach to sing the opening, he has to sing the opening; whoever I teach to dominate the stage, he will dominate the stage; no matter what qualifications, abilities! If you are not convinced? Talk to the Japanese! Dare Go!" "What should I do with my outfit? Anyway, I can't just slip one out of the box and put it on my body! If you want to play, you have to play with it!" Zhaodi said, gently using the palm of his hand slapped his face. Gao Yituo came in from the outside, just when he heard the words of recruiting his younger brother, he took the words naturally: "Looking for an outfit, miss? Leave it to me! Whatever you want, just listen to the lady's orders, and you will be satisfied with it!" He said Today she is very clean and tidy, very like a "bag". Taking a look at Yituo, Brother Zhao smiled. "Okay, I'll send you to be the follower!" "Design!" Yituo proudly agreed to the job. Xiaohe glared at Yituo.He himself wanted to give his daughter a bag, so that he could see more of the female characters as she squeezed in backstage.When she is on stage, he can also get a small teapot for his daughter to drink, so that everyone under the teaching stage can see him.Who knew that such a good job was snatched away by Yituo again! "I see," Xiaohe wanted to reduce the chances of Yituo's repayment, "let's make a new one for ourselves, don't borrow it. If you want to do something to buy face, you can do it!" Zhao brother took it away hand.She always thinks that her father is just a supporting role for her mother, who is smooth and stable, without any major problems, but she will not be successful.Today, Dad seems to suddenly have a brain and say what she wants to say. "Father! Really, what fun it is to make an outfit for yourself! Yes, what fun that is!" She had no idea how much money an outfit cost. Da Chibao would also like her daughter to show off the limelight, but she knows that an outfit costs a lot of money, and it has no use other than wearing it on stage.In the blink of an eye, she had an idea: "Brother Zhao, you always boast that you have many friends, now it's time to use them, and see if they have the ability to do something for you!" I got inspiration again: "Yes! Yes! I told them to go, I want to sing an opera and make clothes, and see if they are willing to pay for it. If they refuse, I will never look at them again from the corner of my eye. I am not Fucking wild girl, low-bone, just play with them for nothing!" Speaking the village words, she felt very happy, and seemed to have a sense of justice. "Miss! Miss!" Xiaohe shouted again and again: "Your wording is not very elegant!" "If you wear a new outfit with an old one, it will be ugly as hell. I'll borrow it, and I'll ask for some emerald ones. It's 100% new, and it's sure to match the new outfit!" After discussing the issue of outfit and appearance, Da Chibao advocated immediately calling Xiaowen to have a show for recruiting his younger brother. "It's not enough to have a good outfit and a good appearance, but you can't sing a song, right? Miss, you have to work hard right away!" She sent someone to call Xiaowen. Xiaowen has the identity of Xiaowen.When you go to his house, he will always entertain you politely; if you ask him to bring your huqin to you, he will not serve you. Seeing that Xiaowen couldn't be called, Da Chibao immediately changed his face.Dongyang's face is also very vivid, and he really wants to use his film to "pass" Xiaowen.It was Zhaodi who stopped them: "Don't mess around! Xiaowen is one of the best luthiers in Beiping! If you kill him, he won't come! As long as I have him, I can't beat them; without him, I'm sure I'm done! Come on, let's play a few laps first!" Dongyang still has something to do, Da Chibao has something to do, and Fat Chrysanthemum has something to do.However, as soon as the Chinese people met the sparrows, it didn't matter much, and everyone was seated quickly. Yituo looked at the two crooked beards behind the big red bag, and slipped out gently.He went to find Cheng Changshun. The hardships of life will force a man to mature prematurely.Chang Shun'er has gained a little stature, and also grown more old-fashioned, looking like an adult.Since Xiao Cui's death, he has cooperated with John Ding and started a small business.This little business is weird and dirty.John Ding is the discoverer.In the British Mansion, he often saw a large cart of military uniforms pulling old cloth to the Japanese embassy and barracks on the street.The military uniform is obviously made of cotton, because the upper and lower body are so thick.However, the weight is very light, each cart is piled high, and the people or horses pulling the carts do not seem to be very hard.This aroused his curiosity.He found a fellow worker in the Japanese military camp to inquire about.The workmate was his friend—the workmates in the embassy area are a gang—but he wouldn't tell him what was going on.Ding Yuehan, as the stage setter of the British government, of course looked down on his friend who was a worker in the Japanese military camp, and wanted to walk away with a high face and stop asking.However, lucky to his heart, he invited that friend to have a drink or two.As a hereditary Christian, he had always been against drinking; but, to satisfy his curiosity, he had to ask God. As expected, the wine was effective, and after three cups, the friend spit out the truth.That's the thing: Japan has recruited many puppet soldiers in North China, and of course they have to give each of them a cotton military uniform in winter.However, all the cotton in North China had been shipped back to the country by the Japanese and could not be shipped back for the puppet army.So Japanese strategists immersed themselves in research for many days and invented a substitute.This kind of substitute does not need to be made by machine, nor does it need to be made to order in Shanghai or Tianjin, but can be made with only some rags and rotten paper.This is the truckload of military uniforms John Ding saw.This kind of military uniform would tear at the touch and paralyze when wet; even in its best condition, it would not keep out the cold.Even so, the puppet army finally got military uniforms-the Japanese call them military uniforms, and they are military uniforms. The undertaker of these military uniforms is a Japanese.The workers of the Japanese embassy bribed the Japanese and obtained the privilege to entrust their relatives and friends to make it.That friend is also one of the privileged ones. John Ding has always looked down on the Japanese, not because of anything else, but only because he is working in the British government-he thinks that a servant of the British government is much more noble than a counselor or secretary of the Japanese embassy.As for the use of rags and rags as military uniforms, it was also against God's will from his Christian standpoint, because it was a deception.No matter how you look at it, he should not be interested in this matter, but just laugh it off.But, after all, he is a man; if a man sees money but does not forget the British government and God, is he still a man?He decided to be human, even if he gave his soul to the devil.Besides, he felt that earning a little money in this way was not a crime, because he was earning Japanese money.As for whether the substitutes for the military uniforms made by him are worthy of those soldiers, he thinks there is no need to think about it, because the puppet soldiers are all Chinese, and he has never taken the Chinese to heart. After ten days of work, he and that friend became irreversible.All the butter, canned food, and brandy that should be sent to Guan's house were sent to that friend's house.In this way, he was allocated a small privilege to undertake a thousand sets of military uniforms.After getting this privilege, he worshiped very reverently, took the communion, and gave fifty cents (he only gave one cent for weekdays) to thank God.Then, he decided to cooperate with Changshun, because Changshun was the only one in the alley who was the most honest and had contacts with him. John's approach is this: he advances a little money as capital.Then, he taught Changshun to buy rags, clothes, and paper.If the rags are made of cotton, the cotton will be pulled out, sorted and sold.He and Changshun split the profit from selling old cotton; 70% for him and 30% for Changshun.It's not fair, but he thought that since Changshun was a child, of course he couldn't have an equal share with an adult, let alone a hereditary Christian.Changshun bought rags and clothes, which had to be cleaned by Changshun, and then put together—"Your grandmother will always do this, and you can ask Widow Cui for help; anyway, this is your business, how do you do it?" What should I do?" After piecing together the rags, put the rotten paper inside—"Don't flatten the paper, it's waste of material, and it's obviously thin, it's better to put it in like a bunch, so that it looks very thick The weight is also light, which saves footwork." The wadding is good, and the thick and leafy seams are "lined" a few times horizontally and vertically, so that the paper will fall down when you lift it with your hands, turning into a torn paper bag. "These," John earnestly enjoined, "are all up to you. I don't care about your travel, water, needlework, and work. I'll give you one dollar for each set. A thousand sets is a thousand dollars." You have to have an account. How much money I paid you and how much money was used—only materials, car money, water money, etc. are not counted!——You have to pay the bill every day; I’m not at home, You report it to my wife. The accounts are clear, and the military uniforms are well-made, so I can give you one yuan for each suit; if there is any problem, I will deduct your money. Do you understand? I am a Christian, and I am the clearest. Fairness, relatives are relatives, wealth is wealth, and they must be divided clearly! Do you understand?" These last two words are said in English to increase the power of words. Cheng Changshun agreed without thinking about it in detail.He didn't bother to calculate how much money he had left besides the car money, water money, lamp oil money, sewing money, and one yuan.He doesn't care about calculations, buying, tidying, washing, patching, sewing, keeping accounts, how much labor and time it takes.He only saw the thousand yuan in the distance.He just felt that this would solve his life problems with his grandmother.Since no one listened to the phonograph and lost his grandmother's legal currency, he was not only unemployed, but also threatened by hunger and cold.He had wanted to start a small business for a long time, but firstly, he had no capital, and secondly, he was a layman, so he refused to take the risk of borrowing money to start a business. What would he do if he lost his capital?He was raised by his grandmother and knew how to be cautious.However, he was anxious because he couldn't get food when he was idle.Hearing grandma's long sighs in the middle of the night, he often covered his head and wept secretly.He's sorry for his grandma, who raised him for nothing, and grandma only raised a trash! He couldn't think of calculating or finding out how much money John Ding made by grabbing the cakes with his bare hands, without taking a step or moving a finger.He just felt he should be grateful to John.John had a God, so John should be rich.Changshun also got a God, John Ding!He must do it faithfully, and he must not have a single copper coin, and he must not be lazy at all, so that he can deal with grandma and the new God! Changshun got busy.He got up early in the morning, went to the morning market to buy rags and paper, and carried them back.Although the tattered ones themselves were not very heavy, the mud on them added to their weight. He gritted his teeth and carried them, and would never hire a car unless he had to. His clothes were drenched with sweat.He has no complaints, this is the way to survive, and it is also the best way to show filial piety to grandma. After dragging the things home, he had to squat on the ground for a long time before he could straighten up.He should have gone to bed for a while, but he would not, he could not teach Granny to see that he was exhausted, and make her sad. Each fragment of these broken things has its own unique taste; when taken together, the taste is indescribable and will always make people sick.Therefore, Changshun didn't allow grandma to do anything, and let him do the first tidying up by himself.He knows that grandma likes to be clean. First, he had to beat them once with a stick to break up the floating dirt.Second, he picked them up one by one, shook them to remove the sand, and took a look to see which piece of dirt could not be removed without water.Thirdly, he shall dip what is to be washed in the first great earthen basin.Fourth, soak the dirty cloths, and then use another large basin of clean water to scrub them.Then, fifth, he put the big ones and the small ones, the long ones and the short ones, but they were all about the same age, on the ropes, and dried them in the sun. This work of digging and shaking the soil turned the small yard of No. 4 into a sand formation immediately, with no one on the opposite side, as if several wild horses were rolling in the dirt nest at the same time.Dust covered everything, even the ridges of the roof and the gates and upstairs were foggy and foggy, causing the sparrows under the eaves to cough uncontrollably and move.The sand formation is not only thick, but also smelly. Even the nose of the fourth mother Li next door doubted her, and she kept exploring, but couldn't determine what the smell was.After beating for a while, the fine gray sand swayed in the air very freely, and then found a place to fall on people's hair, eyebrows, necks, rice bowls, and clothes, so that everyone can prove that they are indeed "earthly". between" characters.When the ashes were all falling down slowly, Changshun beat himself with a stick, and immediately another smaller, but still annoying, dust formation was erected in the courtyard.His teeth are full of fine - but not smelly - sand. Mrs. Ma, because she likes to be clean, can't bear her grandson's ecstasy every day.She blocked the doors and windows tightly, but the stinky ash still fell on her head, eyebrows, clothes, and all the furniture.However, she couldn't stop her grandson, let alone blame him.He really wanted to be strong, and he got up early and went to bed late to do this dirty and smelly job in order to feed her.She had no choice but to wrap her head with a handkerchief and wipe the tables and stools casually.After hearing her grandson shake out the dirty cloths, she hurriedly tore off the handkerchief on her head, so as not to teach her grandson to be paranoid when she saw it. Of course Mrs. Cui couldn't avoid this disaster, but she didn't say a word either.Changshun got her living expenses these days.She can only be grateful to him, and can't gossip because of some stinky sand.Besides money, she needs comfort and love, and Mrs. Ma and Changshun are considerate and help her in every possible way.She opened her eyes, and there was no relative in the world.Although she has a real brother, but he is not strong.He does everything except good things.If he knew that she could get ten yuan a month from Gao Yituo, he would definitely squeeze three or four yuan; he only knows money, no matter what is called a sibling.Recently, she heard that he had done something for the Japanese.She hated the Japanese, who chopped off her husband's head for no reason.Therefore, she is even more unwilling to have any contact with her brother who works for the Japanese.Since the brothers and sisters had cut off contact, she was the only one left in her world. Without Mrs. Ma and Changshun, she really didn't know how she would survive.No, she decided she couldn't hate the stinky ash.Instead, she has to help Changshun go to work.If Changshun paid her, she continued; if she didn't, it didn't matter much. After Xiao Cui was buried by Fourth Master Li, she fell ill for a long time.She does not eat or drink, but only sleeps all day long, and sometimes has a high fever.When she had a fever, she called Xiao Cui or cursed at the Japanese.After a while, she calmed down, fluttering her nose and falling asleep.Mrs. Ma, when Xiao Cui was alive, she was not very close to Mrs. Xiao Cui. Firstly, it was because Xiao Cui was so swearing that she couldn't get used to it; It's inconvenient for the old widow to meddle in her own business.When Mrs. Cui suddenly became a widow, Mrs. Ma naturally showed all her sympathy.She came over from time to time to pour a bowl of boiling water for Mrs. Cui, or bring some porridge. When Mrs. Cui was shouting, the old lady would definitely come over and hold the patient's hand.When she rushed to make a fuss, the old lady invited Sima Li over to discuss a solution.When she fell asleep, the old lady would go out of the window from time to time to listen to the movement.In addition, the old lady and Li Sima gathered all their medical knowledge together, decided on some herbs or folk remedies, and gave them to Mrs. Cui. Time, folk remedies, and friendship slowly cured Mrs. Cui.She still can't forget Xiao Cui, but time has drawn a very clear boundary between Xiao Cui and her. Xiao Cui is dead, but she is still alive—and must live on. When she was just able to walk, she forced Fourth Master Li to take her to see Xiao Cui's grave.Putting on a filial gown and holding burning paper worth twenty cents, she followed the fourth master like a lamb just learning to walk, tears dripping from her home to the west of Xiannongtan.On the grave, she cried to death. With the tears gone, she began to pay attention to eating, drinking and other daily chores.Her body wasn't bad, so she recovered quite quickly.Accompanied by Li Sima, she wore filial piety clothes and thanked the neighbors who helped her and Qian at the door of each house.This brought her into the world again, acknowledging that she was going to live on. Fourth Master Li, Sun Qi, and Chang Shun didn't use up the money they raised, so the old man told Sun Qi and Chang Shun to give her the rest.Chang Shun'er received ten yuan of "relief money" from Gao Yituo every month.She won't be hungry or cold for a while. Slowly, she tidied up the house, and it was no longer as messy as when Xiao Cui was alive.She began to understand why Mrs. Ma was so fond of cleanliness——Ms. Ma was a widow, and being clean would make the widow a little more productive.Tidying up the house gave her a little happiness. Although her husband died, there was order in the house.However, sitting in this orderly room, she felt empty again.It's true that the broken tables and benches were cleaned by her until they became shiny, and even seemed to have life; but they would not be as romping and powerful as Xiao Cui.Facing the quiet broken table and chairs, she thought of everything about Xiao Cui.Xiao Cui's love, Xiao Cui's smell of sweat, Xiao Cui's nonsense, and Xiao Cui's nonsense are all good; in any case, Xiao Cui is better than these dead things.The more order there is in the room, the wider the room seems to be, and the four corners of the room seem to widen a lot, and there is room for her to stand or sit for a while, but no matter whether she is standing or sitting, she feels calm and lonely , but there is no way not to miss Xiao Cui.When Xiao Cui was alive, he might quarrel with her when he entered the door, and even beat her up.But that makes her heart beat, that makes her endure or rebel, that's life.Now, her heart didn't have to beat anymore, but she lost her life; Xiao Cui was completely dead, and she was half dead. Her body is also much neater than before.She has time to look after herself and take care of herself.In the past, she didn't seem to know herself, but only knew Xiao Cui.She had to make a meal—if there was rice—and wait for Xiao Cui, lest Xiao Cui would come in and cry out like a hungry wolf.If the meal is ready and he hasn't come back, she has to try to keep the meal hot and not give him cold food.His clothes, which were soaked in sweat the same day he put them on, had to be washed right away, and since he had so few clothes, he had to try to dry them when it was cloudy or rainy.His shoes and socks are so easy to wear, as if there are a few steel teeth on his feet.Several holes are drilled in the blink of an eye.She has to mend and make for him non-stop.She spends all her time on him and doesn't care about taking care of herself.Now, she began to look at herself, and no longer taught the gown to show flesh, or the socks with holes.The cleanliness of her body restored her youth, and she was no longer a doormat and a slime, but a rather respectable little woman.However, only part of her youth came back, and she didn't feel warm in her heart.Her face is just so yellow and clean, without the youthful color.She doesn't want to frown and frown, and sighs all day long, but sometimes she is in a daze, staring blankly at her own gown or cloth shoes.She seemed not to know herself.It was quite respectable, and she, who was clean, seemed to be another person.She is still Mrs. Cui, but not Mrs. Cui.She doesn't know who she is.Dazed, dazed, she would unknowingly talk to herself.When she realized that she was talking, she suddenly blushed and closed her mouth tightly, wanting to find something to do quickly.But what for?She couldn't figure it out.If Xiao Cui is alive, she will always have things to do; now, without Xiao Cui, she will lose the engine of life.She is still young, but it seems that she has been half buried in the loess. No matter how bored she was, she refused to stand at the street gate for a while.Unless she had to, she would not go out to the streets; to buy a piece of tofu, or a couple of sesame oils, she would beg Changshun to bring them.She is a widow, so she can't show up casually and embarrass Xiao Cui.Even when she went to the street by chance, she always kept her head down and went straight, not daring to be greedy for excitement.凭她的年龄，她应当蹦蹦跳跳的，但是，她必须低着头；她已不是她自己，而是小崔的寡妇。她的低头疾走是对死去的丈夫负责，不是心中有什么对不起人的事。一个寡妇的责任是自己要活着，还要老背着一块棺材板。这，她才明白了马老太太为什么那样的谨慎，沉稳。对她，小崔的死亡，差不多是一种新的教育与训练。她必须非常的警觉，把自己真变成个寡妇。以前，她几乎没有考虑过，她有什么人格，和应当避讳什么。她就是她，她是小崔的老婆。小崔拉她出来，在门外打一顿，就打一顿；她能还手，就还给他几拳，或咬住他的一块肉；这都没有什么可耻的地方。小崔给她招来耻辱，也替她撑持耻辱。她的褂子露着一块肉，就露着一块肉，没关系；小崔会，仿佛是，遮住那块肉，不许别人多看她一眼。如今，她可须知道耻辱，须遮起她的身体。她是寡妇，也就必须觉到自己是个寡妇。寡妇的世界只是一间小小的黑暗的牢房，她须自动的把自己锁在那里面。 因此，她不单不敢抱怨长顺儿摆起灰沙阵，而且觉得从此可以不再寂寞。她愿意帮马老太太的忙。长顺儿自然不肯教她白帮忙，他愿出二角钱，作为缝好一身"军衣"的报酬；针线由他供给，小崔太太没有谢绝这点报酬，也没有嫌少；她一扑纳心的去操作。这样，她可以不出门，而有点收入与工作，恰好足以表示出她是安分守己的，不偷懒的寡妇。 孙七，也是爱洁净的人，没法忍受这样的乌烟瘴气。他发了脾气。"我说长顺儿，这是怎回事？你老大不少的了，怎么才学会了撒土攘烟儿呀？这成什么话呢，你看看，"他由耳中掏出一小块泥饼来，"你看看，连耳朵里都可以种麦子啦！还腥臭啊！灰土散了之后，可倒好，你又开了小染房，花红柳绿的挂这么一院子破布条！我顶讨厌这湿渌渌的东西碰我的脑袋！" 长顺确是老练多了。搁在往日，他一定要和孙七辩论个水落石出；他一来看不起孙七，二来是年轻气壮，不惜为辩论而辩论的作一番舌战。今天，他可是闭住了嘴，决定一声不响。第一，他须保守秘密，不能山嚷鬼叫的宣布自己的"特权"；好家伙，要教别人都知道了，自己的一千元不就动摇了么？第二，他以为自己已是兴家创业的人，差不多可以与祁老人和李四爷立在一块儿了，怎好因并不住嘴而耽误了工夫呢？孙七说闲话，由他说去吧；挣钱是最要紧的事。是的，他近来连打日本人的事都不大关心了，何况是孙七这点闲话呢。他沉住了气，连看孙七一眼也没看。反正，他知道，自己卖力气挣钱，养活外婆，总不是丢脸的事；干吗辩论呢？可是，他越不出声，孙七就越没结没完。孙七喜欢拌嘴；假若长顺能和他粗着脖子红着筋的乱吵一阵，他或者可以把这场破布官司忘掉，而从争辩中得到点愉快。长顺的一语不发，对于他，是最惨酷的报复。 幸而，马老太太与小崔太太，一老一少两位寡妇，出来给他道歉，他才鸣金收兵。 这样对付了孙七，长顺暗中非常得意。他有了自信心。他不单已经不是个只会背着留声机在小胡同里乱转，时常被人取笑的孩子，而且变成个有办法，有心路，有志气的青年。什么孙七孙八的，他才不惹闲气。有一千元到手，他将是个……是个什么呢？He couldn't figure it out.可是，他总会变成比今天更好的人是不会错的。 高亦陀找了他来。He is finished.他对付不了高亦陀。他不单还是个孩子，而且是个傻蛋！He lost his confidence.