Chapter 43 42

Sunday is also a difficult time for Ruixuan.He refused to go out to play, because no matter on the road or in the places where he was playing, he would inevitably meet many Japanese.The arrogance and elation of the conquerors hidden under the false politeness of the Japanese made him feel embarrassed.The whole of Peiping seems to have become their prize of victory. He had no choice but to hide at home, but he couldn't calm down at home.Ruifeng and Fat Juzi will inevitably come to hate on Sunday.The couple kept rushing in and rushing out after a while, showing that they hadn't forgotten to see their brother in the midst of their busy schedules.In a hurry, Ruifeng—always holding that fake ivory cigarette holder—wanted to count on his fingers and report to his elder brother: "Today there are four more dinners! You can't miss it! You can't miss it! I Let me tell you, big brother, I like to eat well, drink two cups is good, but there are too many entertainments, and I can’t eat anymore! Recently, I often have stomach troubles! Drinking, I’ve grown a lot! Don’t believe it, how much If you have time, we two brothers have a drink, you test me! Boxing has also improved a lot! Last Sunday dinner, in the Huixian Hall, I won seven consecutive victories against Director Zhang, seven face-to-face!" Lightly flick with the index finger He took off the fake ivory cigarette holder, and continued, "There are too many friends! Just because I can make so many friends, my position as section chief is not in vain. I can see very clearly that a person in society is If you have connections everywhere, the more connections you have, the wider the way you can eat, and the job will not cause panic. I—" He lowered his voice a little: "Recently, even secret agents, whether they are Japanese or Chinese, are I often come and go for entertainment. I am in the Education Bureau, and I go everywhere, spreading my vines like honeysuckle vines and morning glory! Only in this way, I believe, can I enjoy myself everywhere! Don’t you think? Big brother?" Ruixuan couldn't reply, and sour water came out of his mouth.

At the same time, Fat Chrysanthemum took sister-in-law's hand and taught her to touch her gown, which had neither collar nor sleeves: "Sister-in-law, touch it, how thin and soft it is! It's only two yuan and seventy cents a foot!" After the sister-in-law finished touching the gown, she displayed her handbag, small silk umbrella, silk stockings, and white patent leather shoes with exposed toes, and quoted the price of each one. The two of them finished the report, and then greeted each other: "Should we go? Isn't the palace waiting for us to play cards?" Then, they hurried out side by side intimately.

After they left, Ruixuan must have had a headache for half an hour.Sometimes his headache lasted until one o'clock, or longer, if Guan Xiaohe came to visit him with Ruifeng and his wife.Xiaohe's dislike was almost to the point where even Ruixuan had to show admiration, so he couldn't help Ruixuan without a headache.If Ruifeng and his wife were only doing "self-promotion", Xiaohe would never mention himself, nor would he help Ruifeng and his wife to brag, but would keep praising the British government and the people working in the British government.He called his own Ruixuan the "British-Japanese Alliance"!

Every time Xiaohe left, Ruixuan hated himself for not spitting on Xiaohe's face.However, when Xiaohe arrived again, he still didn't have that determination, and he was still perfunctory to the guests.He sees his own uselessness.The times are steel, but he himself is a piece of tofu! To avoid them, he occasionally went out for a whole day.Look around for Mr. Money.However, I have never met Mr. Qian once.Seeing a small teahouse, he went in to take a look, and even inquired according to Xiao Cui's description. "Yes, I have seen such a person, but I don't come often." It was almost the only answer.Exhausted from walking, he had no choice but to walk back home dejectedly.If he could see Mr. Qian, he thought, he would be able to vomit all the bad breath from the whole summer at once.What a joy that would be!However, Mr. Qian is like a stone sunk in the ocean.

What made him more happy, but not completely embarrassing, was Cheng Changshun's visit.Cheng Changshun is still so enthusiastic about seeking knowledge and patriotism, almost always ask Ruixuan every time he comes, "Should I go or not?" Ruixuan likes such young people.He felt that even if Changshun didn't really want to leave Peiping, just asking this question would be nice enough.However, when he thought of Changshun's grandmother, he felt embarrassed again, and turned his joy into embarrassment. One day, when Changshun came, Ruixuan just happened to be suffering from a headache because Xiaohe had just visited.He couldn't control himself completely, but told Changshun: "Anyone with ambition should go!"

Chang Shun's eyes lit up: "Should I go?" Rui Xuan nodded. "Okay! I'm going!" Ruixuan couldn't take back his words.He felt a little pleasure, but also a lot of pain—should he encourage a young man to take risks like this?Isn't this worthy of the old woman who lives with Changshun?His head hurt even more.Chang Shun quickly ran out, as if he would go home immediately, pack up and leave.Ruixuan felt even worse.From a conscience point of view, he could not be blamed for persuading a young man to escape from prison, but he is not the kind of person who is used to instigating others. His imagination first imagined many difficulties and dangers for Changshun, and he felt that if Unfortunately, Changshun lost his life in vain, and he himself should take full responsibility.He didn't know what to do.

For two or three days, he taught Yunmei to go to No. 4 every day to check to see if Changshun had left. Changshun didn't leave.He was very puzzled.Three days later, he met Chang Shun under the shade of Huai Huai trees.Changshun seemed ashamed and only nodded to him before avoiding him.He was even more puzzled.Could it be that Changshun was persuaded by his grandmother?Or are you young and timid, and regret it again?No matter what, he didn't want to blame Changshun.But he can't be happy because of Changshun's surrender or regret. On the fifth night, it looked like it was going to rain.Although the clouds were not thick, the wind was very cool, so everyone entered the house early; otherwise, after dinner, everyone would have sat in the courtyard to enjoy the cool.Chang Shun, still full of shame, walked in.Ruixuan had a heart, and he didn't dare to ask Changshun directly, for fear of embarrassing Changshun.Chang Shun seemed to be speaking from his confidant, and before Ruixuan could ask a question, he "raised" him: "Mr. Qi!" His face turned red, his eyes looked at his nose, and his voice became even louder. "I can't go!"

Ruixuan didn't dare to laugh or make a sound, but only nodded sympathetically and solemnly. "Grandma has a little money," Chang Shun said in a low voice, muttering, "It's all in French currency. Her old man won't let it go for a profit, and she won't put it in the post office. She keeps it herself. Only the money is in her pocket." Only in her own hands, she can rest assured!" "Old people are like that." Ruixuan said. Changshun saw that Ruixuan understood the psychology of the old people, and the words came more smoothly: "I don't know how much money the old man has, and she never told me." "Yes! No one else knows how much money the old people have. where, and how much."

"This is a bad thing!" Changshun wiped his nose with his cuff. "A few months ago, didn't the Japanese put up a notice telling us to change all the legal currency into new bills? I saw the notice and told my grandma. Grandma didn't seem to hear." "Of course the old people don't trust devil Piaoer!" "Yes! I thought so too, so I didn't urge her to change. I also thought that maybe grandma wouldn't have a lot of money in her hands, and it might not matter much whether she changed it or not. Later, the rumors about changing money became more and more serious. , I asked again. Grandma told me: Yesterday she bought five catties of millet from a countryman outside the door. For two days, Captain Bai came to patrol and stood at the door, chatting nonsense with grandma. Only then did grandma realize that the date for exchanging notes had passed, and she would be imprisoned for a year if she spent French currency. Grandma cried all night. She had a total of one thousand yuan. They are all one-yuan leaflets, new ones, from the Bank of Communications! She has a thousand! But she has no more one yuan! After losing the money, she dared to scold the Japanese devils, and she kept saying that she was going to fight the little devils! Grandma did this , I can’t leave. That little money is all of my grandmother’s property, and it’s also her coffin book. If I lose that little money, our three meals will be a problem! What do you think? I can't say go anymore, if I want to go, my grandma will hang herself! I have to try to support my grandma, she has dragged me so much, it's time for me to repay her kindness! Mr. Qi?" Changshun's eyes are bright with two teardrops, nose sweating, rubbing his hands and waiting for Ruixuan to answer.Ruixuan stood up and walked slowly in the room.In Changshun's words, he saw himself.Jiahe Xiaodao tied him, and Changshun, to the lamb pen.The country is calling them, but they can only pretend to be deaf.He must know that if the young people don't leave, they won't be able to save the old people, or they will die together with the old people.However, he didn't have the heart to stomp his feet and leave, nor could he persuade Changshun to leave heartlessly and teach his grandmother to hang himself.He let out a long sigh, and then said to Changshun: "Give that one thousand yuan to people from Shandong or Shanxi who you know well. They will take it away and take it to a place that has not been occupied. One yuan is still one yuan. Of course, they cannot treat one yuan as one yuan." It's worth giving it to you, but it's better than throwing it away for nothing." "Yes! Yes!" Changshun no longer lowered his head, but fixed his eyes on Ruixuan's face, as if every word Ruixuan said Words are like the gospel. "I know shopkeeper Yang from Tianfuzhai. He is from Shandong! All right! He can definitely help with this! Mr. Qi, what should I do?"

Ruixuan couldn't think of a suitable business for Changshun. "Think about it before you talk, Changshun!" "Yes! You think about it for me, and I think about it myself!" Chang Shun wiped off the sweat from his nose and stood up.After standing for a while, his voice lowered again: "Mr. Qi, you don't laugh at me for not daring to leave, do you?" Ruixuan smiled bitterly. "We are all the same!" "What?" Changshun didn't understand Ruixuan's meaning. "It's okay!" Ruixuan was unwilling to explain. "See you tomorrow! Please don't worry, grandma!"

After Changshun left, it began to rain lightly outside.Listening to the sound of rain, Ruixuan didn't fall asleep all night. The matter of Changshun hadn't faded away in Ruixuan's mind, so Chen Yeqiu came to see him suddenly. Yeqiu was well dressed, but his face was greener than Ruixuan remembered.When he sat down in the room, he closed his eyes and closed his thin lips tightly.A few times he wanted to speak, and a few times he just opened his lips and then closed them again.Ruixuan noticed that when Noqiu reached for the tea bowl, his hand trembled slightly. "How are you doing these days?" Ruixuan wanted to slowly lead Ye Qiu out.Yeqiu's eyes began to roll, and he smiled a little: "In this day and age, it's safe not to die!" After finishing speaking, he fell silent again.He seemed to be very willing to use his intelligence to say a few beautiful words, but the shame and anxiety in his heart did not allow him to say casually.He could only stare blankly.After being stunned for a long time, he seemed to have expended a lot of energy, and brought out the words that made him feel ashamed and uneasy: "Brother Ruixuan! Have you seen Mo Yin recently?" Logically speaking, he is a year older than Ruixuan. However, he has always been humble, so he is politely called "Brother Ruixuan". "Several friends have seen him, but I have never met him myself; I have looked for him everywhere, but I can't find him!" Licking his lips, Noqiu was about to pour out his words: "Yes! Yes! I am the same! Two of my friends who painted pictures told me that they saw him." "Where?" "At the painting exhibition. They exhibited their works and went to visit silently. Brother Ruixuan, do you know that my sister-in-law can also paint?" Rui Xuan nodded. "However, he didn't go to see the paintings! They told me that Moyin walked around the exhibition room slowly, and then called them out very politely. He asked them: Do you paint these feathers, flowers, and misty landscapes? For what? Are you painting these for entertainment? When your real mountains and rivers are covered with blood, and even your birds, flowers and plants have been smashed to pieces by artillery fire, do you still want to have fun? You are For the Japanese to see? Oh! The Japanese smashed your green leaves and turned your river red, and you still have the face to paint spring flowers and autumn moons, so that the Japanese can look at them comfortably and make them feel that even if you are painted The cities and gardens in the world have been flattened, and you still use various colors to whitewash peace! Put away your insults to art and contempt for yourself! If you want to paint, you should paint the blood on the battlefield and the heroes who resisted aggression! Finished speaking , he bowed deeply to them, asked them to think about what he said, and then walked away without turning back. My friends don’t know him, but when they describe it to me, I know it must be silent singing !" "What criticisms do your two friends have on him? Mr. Chen!" Ruixuan asked solemnly. "They say he's half mad!" "Half-crazy? Doesn't he have a grain of truth?" "They!" Noqiu quickly smiled, as if apologizing on behalf of his friends. "Of course they didn't say what he said was crazy. However, they only know how to draw a painting, open an exhibition to sell it for a few dollars, and exchange for some rice and noodles. Nonsense, sooner or later the Japanese will be caught and killed! So, so..." "You want to find him and persuade him?" "Shall I advise him?" Yeqiu's eyeballs did not move again, like dead fish.He bit his lip and froze again.After a long while, he sighed a very long breath, and there were faint beads of sweat on his green face. "Brother Ruixuan! You don't know, he broke up with me, right?" "Breakoff?" Noqiu nodded slowly several times. "My heart is a secret room for execution, where there are all the instruments of torture and the methods of execution." He told the story of his breakup with Mr. Mo Yin. "It's all my fault! I'm ashamed to see him again, because I didn't follow his words and took off the clothes I bought with Japanese money, and I didn't buy rice and noodles for my children with Japanese money. At the same time, I knew how to give Japanese money Do one thing for one day, do one thing, my name will be listed with the traitors forever! I have no face to see him, but I want to see him day and night, he is my close relative, and a good teacher and helpful friend! After seeing him, Even if he slaps me a few times, I am willing to accept it! His palm will hit me a little bit, guilt! I can’t find him! I care about his safety and health, and I am willing to kneel down and beg him to accept my A little money, a piece of clothing! But I also know that he will never accept anything, anything, from my dirty hands! So what if we meet? Doesn't it add to my pain? "He took a quick sip of tea, and then said: "There is only pain! Only pain! Pain seems to be my heart! The children are no longer hungry, and they are clothed. They dance, they sing, they sing. But, their dancing and singing are poisonous needles, piercing my heart! What should I do? There is no other way, except trying to make myself numb, numb, and constantly numb, so that I can be Avoid pain and make it more painful, wait until the heart is full of pain and forget the pain!" "Mr. Chen! Have you smoked?" Ruixuan's nose was also sweating.Noqiu covered his face with his hands and didn't move for a long time. "Mr. Ye Qiu!" Ruixuan said sincerely, "You can't destroy yourself like this!" Ye Qiu slowly put down his hands, still lowered his head, and said, "I know! I know! But I can't control myself My sister-in-law once told me: It is better to sell peanuts and melon seeds than to work for the Japanese. However, we who are used to wearing coats would rather cover up our national humiliation education coats than take off our coats to do small business Yes! Therefore, I have to anesthetize myself. Smoking costs more money, so I work part-time; the more things I do, the less energetic I am, so I have to smoke more cigarettes. I am busy all day long, okay Xiang is just looking for big money for myself. Only after smoking a cigarette can I forget the pain in a daze. Forget myself, forget the national humiliation, and forget everything! Brother Ruixuan, I'm done! It's over!" He stood up slowly. "Let's go! If you see Mo Yin, tell him I'm in pain, I'm smoking, I'm done!" He walked out. Ruixuan followed him out like a fool.He had a lot to say, but couldn't say a word. The two walked out very slowly and speechlessly.Walking to the street gate, Yeqiu suddenly stopped, and turned around: "Brother Ruixuan! I almost forgot, I still owe you five dollars!" He stretched his right hand into his coat. "Mr. Yeqiu! Can't we still live with the five yuan?" Ruixuan smiled bitterly. Noqiu withdrew his hand: "Let's——Okay, I'll stick to it! Thank you!" When he arrived at the door, Noqiu glanced at No. 1: "Is anyone living there now?" "Yes! Japanese!" "Oh!" Yeqiu swallowed a big breath, then nodded to Ruixuan, and walked with his shoulders on his shoulders. Ruixuan stared blankly at his back until Yeqiu turned a corner.Back in the house, he always felt that Ye Qiu hadn't left yet, even if he closed his eyes, he could still see Ye Qiu's thin face; the image of Ye Qiu seemed to be attached to his heart!Slowly, every time he saw that green face, he also saw himself.Except that he hasn't smoked opium yet, he feels that he is no better than Yeqiu - anyone who stays in Beiping is suicidal! He sat down, picked up a pen boredly, and scribbled on the paper.After finishing writing, he saw clearly "We are all suicidal!" Staring at these words, he wanted to put the note in an envelope and mail it to Yeqiu.However, just thinking of this, he also thought of Mr. Mo Yin; he crumpled the note into a small ball and threw it on the ground.Mr. Mo Yin is not a self-destructive person.Yes, Poet Qian will be arrested and killed sooner or later.However, in this age of death, only a death like that of Mr. Qian is effective.People with conscience but no guts, like him and Yeqiu, can only commit suicide!