Chapter 28 27

Ruixuan no longer goes to school.He did not officially resign, nor did he ask for leave.He has always been a Ding is a Ding, a Mao is a Mao, and he has never done such a messy thing.Now, he seems to think that such things as resignation and taking leave are too small to pay attention to; being a subjugated slave is really a big deal, and even in his dreams he dreams that we won a battle, or lost another city. He has to earn money.My father's income is based on dividends at the end of the year; a shopkeeper, according to the old rules, does not have a lot of monthly remuneration; my father's shop follows the old rules.However, from July 7 onwards, apart from grain stores and coal factories, I am afraid that few shops still have business as usual, and my father's cloth business is the most modest one-who cares about making new clothes when the war is in turmoil.In this way, at the end of the year, my father may not have any bonuses to take.

As for the second child, Ruifeng, Ruixuan sees it very clearly, as long as he gets a job with more income, he must live separately.The second child, and the second grandmother, are not willing to help others. Savings? My grandfather and mother may have tens or hundreds of dollars in cash.But this little money, unless the old people are willing to take it out on their own initiative, no one should bother - the old man's money is the opposite of the old man's illness, and he is not willing to teach others about it.Ruixuan himself only had a small booklet at the post office, and at most he couldn't make it past a hundred yuan.

In this way, he can't afford to be idle.He should go find a job right away.Otherwise, he would have to keep the maintenance fee and teach as usual; when the Education Bureau finds a solution, he will get his salary.In any case, he shouldn't be idle.Why wouldn't he stomp away like the third child?Isn't it because he has to support his grandfather and parents and take care of the whole family?Then, since he would not bear to abandon the next family, he should try to make money.He shouldn't be neither loyal nor filial.He knows these things.However, he couldn't pull himself together to calculate coal, rice and charcoal, when the famous cities in North China fell one after another.He dared not look at those students of his who had celebrated the fall of Baoding at Tiananmen Square.If the whole of North China, he thought, had fallen and could not be regained for a while, wouldn't these students all become like soldiers beaten by Xiao Cui?He knew that apart from teaching, it was difficult for him to find a suitable job.However, he can't just close his eyes and watch the students gradually become slaves just to earn some money!Anything can be tolerated, but watching young people become slaves is unbearable!

The radio in Ruifeng's house can only receive broadcasts from this city and Jidong, while Ruixuan wants to listen to news from Nanjing wholeheartedly.He can walk more than ten miles at night, sometimes braved the wind and rain, to go to a friend's house, listen to the sound of Nanjing, or read the records of Nanjing broadcasting.He has always been moderate and moderate; however, now he seems a little crazy to listen to the broadcast in Nanjing.No matter what the urgent matter, he would not give up listening to the radio.When climate or personnel prevented him from listening, he would curse loudly—he had hardly ever cursed before.The voice of Nanjing warmed his heart. Regardless of whether the news was good or bad, as long as it was broadcast by China Central Radio, he believed that the country was not only not dead, but also that he, a citizen, had not been forgotten—the voice of the country was in his ears!

What is a country?If someone had asked Ruixuan before the war, he probably would have hesitated for a while before answering, and what he would answer would be the definition printed in a civic textbook without emotion.Now, listening to the standard mandarin spoken by men and women on the radio, he seems to be able to distinguish the country by voice, just like he can distinguish the footsteps of a good friend.The country is no longer a rigid definition, but a huge living thing with flesh and blood, colors and voices.Hearing her voice, Ruixuan's eyes couldn't help but get moist.He had never imagined that he could grasp his country like this, nor that he loved it so passionately.On weekdays, he does not deny that he is patriotic.But to what extent did he love, he couldn't answer.Today, he knows: the sound of Nanjing is enough to make him excited or depressed, laugh or cry.

He had already refused to read the newspapers controlled by the Xinminhui, but recently he has changed his attitude.He wanted to compare the news from the Japanese with the broadcast from Nanjing.On the radio, he heard news that was not carried in the Peking newspapers.Therefore, he completely denied the authenticity of the news in all the newspapers in Peking.Even the military defeat that Nanjing had admitted, as long as it was registered in the newspapers, he would change from believing to dubious.He knew that he shouldn't compare reports from different sources so subjectively, but only by doing so could he feel at ease and feel better.Patriotism is rare to be partial.

What excited him most was the news about Hu Amao and the eight hundred strong men.With such heroic sacrifices of heroes, he thought that even if the military suffered setbacks from time to time, it would not matter.A nation with such heroes will not be conquered!Every time he heard such a touching story, he was so excited that he couldn't sleep peacefully.In the middle of the night, he would light a lamp and write them down.After writing it down, he felt that he knew too little material to fully express the loyalty and courage of those heroes; so he tore up the paper gently, and went to bed--only then can he sleep well.He paid great attention to diplomatic news on weekdays, but now he is very indifferent.From the past hundred years of history, he—like other Chinese who know a little history—knows that big powers will not help weak countries.He felt that the League of Nations' delay in discussing the Sino-Japanese issue, and the nine-nation pact's discussion of the Sino-Japanese issue were far less important than Hu Amao's move.Hu Amao is Chinese.Most of the Chinese can have sex with the Japanese like Hu Amao, and China will become a country with people instead of an honest piece of fat that can be harvested by others.If Hu Amao dared to fight with the Japanese, he also dared to fight with all the "Japanese" in the world.The Chinese like peace, but today there must be someone like Hu Amao who dares to exchange his life for peace, so that he can be admired by the world and truly achieve peace.

In this way, he is busy listening to the radio, reading newspapers, comparing news, judging whether the news is reliable or not, sometimes ecstatic, sometimes melancholy, he loses his usual stability and balance, he seems to be a little crazy . But he didn't forget to visit Mr. Qian Moyin every day.Mr. Qian gradually recovered.What pleased Ruixuan most was that old man Qian did not completely lose his memory and thinking ability, but became disabled.The old man will gradually speak a few words systematically.This made Ruixuan very happy.He knows the cruelty of the Japanese.Old Man Qian's mind gradually cleared up. In his view, it was proof that the brutal Japanese were unable to subdue a poet.At the same time, he regarded the old man as a soldier. Although he lost the battle, he did not surrender.As long as he does not surrender, there will be revival; he almost regards Poet Qian as a symbol of China.At the same time, he is eager to hear Mr. Qian's account of his arrest and torture, and record it in detail to become a complete, faithful, and historical material of the city of the dead.

However, Old Man Qian has a strict mouth.He made Ruixuan see that he would never tell anyone what happened after his arrest.The more he wakes up, the more careful he becomes; every time he wakes up, he will ask, "Did I not talk in my sleep?" He does often talk in his sleep, but because of the loss of his teeth and the inconsistency of his voice, even He speaks in an orderly manner and will not be understood.When sober, he kept his mouth shut about his arrest.Ruixuan tried his best to lure the old man out, but to no avail.Whenever the old man heard that he was about to be arrested and tortured, his face immediately turned pale, and his eyes shone with a kind of light, like the frightened and helpless light when a mouse is blocked by a cat.At this time, his appearance and expression became like another person.Before, he was fat, happy, innocent, and generous; now, his temples and cheeks are all sunken, many teeth are missing, and his expression is so panicked.Seeing such an air, Ruixuan felt very ashamed.However, shame did not completely overcome his curiosity.Originally, the matter itself was too strange-to be captured by the Japanese military police, but to be able to come out alive, too strange!Besides, why is old man Qian so unwilling to tell the truth about that period in prison?

Slowly, he realized: when the Japanese release the old man, they must force him to swear that they are not allowed to tell anyone else what happened in prison.If this guess is correct, with the honesty of the old man, he would not take the oath for nothing.But, on the other hand, the old man's understanding is no less than his honesty. Why must he obey the oath he was forced to take?No, I'm afraid things can't be that simple, can they? Thinking about it again, Ruixuan couldn't help but think about the future of the old man: the old man was scared by the Japanese, so how could he live in silence from then on?Or is it beaten enough to know what hatred is and wants revenge?He dared not decide anything for the old man.The poisonous punishment will make people honest, and he doesn't want to see the old man just admit defeat so honestly.revenge?What power does a man have!He didn't want to see the old man sacrifice in vain - the old man's family was almost dead!

As for the deaths of Mrs. Qian and Young Master Qian, the old people knew about their comings and goings.In his dream, he had wept, weeping for his wife and son.When he was awake, he did not shed a single tear.He only gritted his teeth that were not clean, and sucked and sucked the pit on his cheek.His eyes would stare into the distance without blinking for a long time, as if he was about to commit suicide or kill someone.He didn't say anything, but just stared blankly.Ruixuan was afraid to see the old man in a daze.He didn't know how to comfort him, because he couldn't guess why the old man was so dazed—whether he was desperate or planning revenge. The old man liked to listen to the news of the war, and Ruixuan was of course the reporter.This also made Ruixuan very difficult.He is willing to tell the old man the news he just heard, as well as his own opinion; the old man's understanding is much better than that of old man Qi and Yunmei.However, as long as the news is not very good, the old man will not say anything, but stare blankly.He no longer talked with his friends like mother-in-law and mother-in-law like before, but after listening to what his friends said, he went to taste it by himself-he had closed his heart in his own cavity.He seemed to have some big plan that should be kept a secret, and he had to keep it locked up in his mind as little as possible.Ruixuan was in a difficult situation, because he would not lie or make false news, and he did not want to teach the old man to be unhappy all the time.He can only try to exaggerate the good news in an incomplete deception, so as to balance the good and the bad, and reduce the pain of some old people.However, as soon as he heard the good news, the old man asked for a little wine, and wine should not be drunk when one is recuperating. Although Poet Qian had changed so much and made Ruixuan difficult from time to time, Ruixuan still came to see him every day, waited on him, and talked with him.Serving poet Qian has almost become a kind of religious service for Ruixuan.If he doesn't come one day, he will be depressed and sad with some unforgivable sins added to it.Mr. Qian also stopped paying attention to Guan Xiaohe.When Jin Sanye or Ruixuan mentioned the Guan family by chance, he kept silent and didn't ask any questions.Only when he was not feeling well, or when he was not very energetic, if he caught up with the Guan family's loud guessing games or singing with the huqin, would he say "I hate it" and close his eyes and pretend to be asleep.Ruixuan couldn't figure out what the old man was thinking.Did the old man completely forget the past?Or pretend to forget, so as to take revenge without showing any trace?Really, Mr. Qian has become an enigma!The reason why Ruixuan respected and loved Mr. Qian at the beginning was because the old man was honest, straightforward, and frank, and he really had the air of a poet.Now, he is extremely afraid that the old man will become a cowardly person who dare not even say a word with true feelings.No, the old man will not become that kind of person, Rui Xuan hoped in his heart.But what was the old man going to do after his body fully recovered?A mystery!Mr. Jin came less frequently.Seeing that his in-law's illness is getting better day by day, and because of Guan's family, he didn't dare to come over to provoke him again. He felt that he had done his duty, so he didn't need to come here often. However, whenever he came, old man Qian was very happy.This made Ruixuan almost jealous.Ruixuan knew that in the eyes of Old Man Qian, Mr. Jin was just a not-so-bad relative and friend, not a great person.Although the poet may try to eliminate hierarchy as much as possible in his heart, and regards as long as he can associate with all people as friends and equals, but Ruixuan knows that the old man has to distinguish the ranks of friends—he does know that the third master Kim was not in the past. Not so popular with the old man Qian. Ruixuan, when Sanye Jin also came to see the patient, he listened carefully to what the two old men had to say, so as to guess the reason why old man Qian liked Sanye Jin so much.He just wondered.Jin Sanye's conversation was as simple and rude as usual, and what he said were the most common things, absolutely nothing inspiring or thought-provoking. On the second day of celebrating the fall of Baoding, Ruixuan met Jin Sanye at Qian's house.This is a day when the weather will change. There will be some gray clouds that will only cover the sun without rain in the sky. The westerly wind blows very cool.The leaves of the tree fell one after another.Ruixuan put on an old thin cotton robe.However, Mr. Jin was still only wearing a long and bulky coarse white coat, and a large green cloth waistcoat with copper buttons on it—it was thirty years old, and the blue color had turned to dark yellow. The front was completely torn.Outside the waistcoat, he tied a blue cloth bag. With injuries all over his body, Poet Qian is more likely to feel the changes in the weather; his whole body is sore.As soon as Mr. Jin came in, he said, "The weather is going to change, the wind is so cold!" "Is it cold? I'm still sweating!" Really, there are many big beads of sweat on the forehead of Mr. Jin.He took out a handkerchief that looked like a small bundle from his bosom, and wiped his bald head vigorously as if wiping someone else's head.Suicha, he greeted Ruixuan.His attitude towards Ruixuan had changed a lot, but he couldn't be as affectionate as he was with Fourth Master Li.After sitting down for a long time, he asked his in-laws: "How about it?" Old Man Qian seemed to be begging for mercy on purpose, curling up his body.The voice was also very pitiful, and he said, "Get better! It hurts badly again today! It's going to change!" After saying that, the old man blinked his eyes and waited for comfort. Jin Sanye pinched his red nose, and his voice sounded like a bell: "Maybe the sky will change! While raising it, you have to endure it! Endure the pain, and it will gradually stop hurting!" From Ruixuan's point of view, it doesn't matter whether Mr. Jin said it or not.But old man Qian nodded repeatedly as if he had heard the most meaningful consolation.Ruixuan knew that at the beginning Jin Sanye worshiped Poet Qian, so he gave the girl to Meng Shi.Now, he could see that Poet Qian worshiped Mr. Jin.why?He couldn't guess. Mr. Jin sat for ten minutes.Whatever old man Qian said, he would answer "yes" or "no" in an accent, or a short sentence that was very simple and meaningless.Old Man Qian didn't say anything, so he just sat there blankly.After a long pause, Mr. Jin suddenly stood up. "Look at the girl." He walked out.In the Westinghouse, he talked to Mrs. Qian for about two or three sentences. He found a small bench, sat down in the courtyard, and smoked a bag of old Kanto Leaf cigarettes in a very deep and serious manner.Dangdang knocked the cigarette pot on the stone steps, stood it up, did not enter the house, only said outside the window: "Let's go! Come again!" A long time after Jin Sanye left, Old Man Qian said to Ruixuan: "In these days, having the body of Jin Sanye is much better than having our stomach full of books! Three people who read books are not as good as one who can read books." War!" Ruixuan understood.It turned out that the old man envied Kim Sanye's body.Why?The old man wants revenge!Thinking of this, he looked at Mr. Qian with good eyes for two or three minutes.Yes, he saw it clearly: the old man had changed not only in appearance, but also in his whole being.Who would have thought that a poet who refuses to hurt an ant would become envious, even adored, for force and body?Seeing the old man's sunken cheeks, and the sometimes demented eyes, Ruixuan couldn't guarantee that the old man would fully recover and carry out his revenge plan.However, as long as the old man has such a desire for revenge, it is respectable enough.He feels that the old man is as respectable as China.When China can't bear it anymore, it can no longer stop fighting because of the lack of armaments.The old man, after being humiliated and poisoned, no longer thinks about his physical strength and does not want to take revenge.In the era of Taiping, Ruixuan was against war.He not only opposes armed conflicts between countries, but also the use of force between people. He also believes that it is evidence that the wildness of human beings has not retreated.Now, he can see clearly: under his anti-war thinking, there is really a quiet and honest culture as idyllic as the foundation.This culture may be very good, but it has one obvious flaw: it is easily ravaged by mobs to the point of perishing.No matter what the thing or reason is that will lead to perdition, it should always be corrected in time.Peking is already dead, is there time to correct it?Ruixuan couldn't tell.He could see that Mr. Qian, whose life and interests were all idyllic, didn't think about everything now, but only wanted to be healthy so that he could take revenge. He couldn't help but respect the courage of the old man.The old man didn't seem to think about whether it was too late or not, but wanted to change from a hermit who drank wine and planted flowers into a warrior who dared to bleed.Shouldn't all bloody people be like this when the country is about to perish? Because he admired old man Qian, he despised himself even more.His mind was spinning like a top all day long, but he couldn't even decide on one thing.He had to call himself a thinking piece of shit! While Mr. Qian closed his eyes, Ruixuan walked out gently.In the courtyard, he saw Young Mistress Qian doing laundry.She is more than three months pregnant.When Meng Shi died, no one could see that she had a "body" because of her bulky clothes.Recently, her "bosom" began to show.Mr. Jin told his in-laws the good news a few days ago.Mr. Qian hasn't smiled once since he came home, but when he heard the news, he smiled and said something that Mr. Jin didn't understand: "Give birth to a child who can fight!" Ruixuan I also heard this sentence, but I didn't understand the truth at the time.Today, when he saw Young Mistress Qian, he remembered that sentence again, and fully understood the meaning.Young Mistress Qian didn't have much appearance, but her eyebrows and eyes were straight, not ugly.Her hair was not cut, not very dark but abundant, in two loose braids and tied with white strings.She is not tall, but she is very strong, with a straight back, as if she can bear all the grievances.She doesn't like to talk very much, even when she has to speak, she often replaces the words with a little expression or a gesture.If someone, ignorant of this, followed her closely and asked her to answer, she would blush and be unable to speak out.Ruixuan didn't dare to talk to her, but only pointed to the north room, and said: "Fall asleep again." She nodded. Whenever Ruixuan saw her, he immediately saw Meng Shi, his good friend.Several times, he almost asked: "Where's Meng Shi?" To avoid this mistake, he always looked at the ends of her white braids, and didn't dare to talk to her much—in case he said the wrong thing, and in order not to teach her She is in trouble.Today, he still didn't dare to say more, but he looked at her more.He felt her not only as a poor young widow, but as a mother with great responsibilities.She, he hoped, would really give birth to a doll who could avenge the Qian family and China! While thinking so wildly, while walking, he walked into the house unknowingly.Xiao Shun'er's mother is beating Xiao Shun'er right now.She loves children very much and is willing to discipline them.She has not received any school education, but in terms of running a family and raising children, she is more educated than those women who are opposed to being a good wife and mother, but unfortunately become a wife and mother, and ruin the family and children together , much smarter.She forbade children from bad habits and never spoiled them.She knows that punishment is sometimes necessary. Ruixuan doesn't like to discipline children very much.He seems to be the friend of the children, not the father.He was always so mother-in-law playing and talking with them.When he is unhappy, the children will naturally see that something is wrong and stay away from him.When Yunmei took care of the child, he was absolutely neutral, neither protecting the child nor cheering her on.He thinks that if a husband and wife fight over disciplining their children, not only will they lose control of their children, but they will completely disrupt the entire family order.This is the worst.If Xiao Shun'er's mother got the "privilege" from her husband to discipline her children, she would have other difficulties when she used her power.The mother-in-law is a sensible person: when she disciplines her children, her fairness and firmness are almost the same as Yunmei's.But now she is old.She is still willing to teach her grandchildren to be disciplined as much and as well as her own son was in previous years; .She didn't want to make a sound, but the sound seemed to go out without her consent. Even if they passed the level of grandma fortunately, Xiao Shun'er would still ask grandpa for help, but the mother's slap or broom pimples were in vain.In the eyes of Old Man Qi, great-grandchildren are almost little angels, who will never make any mistakes; even if there are mistakes, he will say: "How can a child not be naughty?" Besides Mrs. Qi and Mrs. Tianyou, there is Ruifeng.He may not be very happy to meddle in his own business, but when he is happy, he will cover Xiao Shun'er and Niu Zi, so that not only will they not be beaten, but he will also teach them how to lie and talk to escape punishment. Now, as soon as Ruixuan walked into the street gate, he heard Xiao Shun'er's sharp, probably crying for help.He knew that Yunmei hated this kind of crying, because it was not crying, but a call to grandma and grandpa to intervene.Sure enough, as soon as he walked to the jujube tree, the patient in the south room had already sat up and looked out through the glass on the window.Seeing Ruixuan, the old lady stopped him: "Boss! Don't teach Xiao Shun'er's mother to beat the children all the time! These days, the children can't eat or drink, and they keep beating. Can you stand it?" Ruixuan said in his heart: "Mom's words have almost nothing to do with Xiao Shun'er's mistakes and being beaten today!" However, he nodded again and again, and walked towards the "battlefield".He didn't like arguing with his sick mother. On the "battlefield", Yunmei scolded Xiao Shun'er with wide eyes, but Xiao Shun'er hid her face in the palm of her grandfather very safely.He still cried a lot and expressed his challenge to his mother. While wiping away his great-grandson's tears, Old Man Qi muttered in a low voice.He could only keep a low voice, because firstly, the grandfather was embarrassed to reprimand the granddaughter-in-law loudly; secondly, he must know that the granddaughter-in-law is a reasonable person and would never beat the child by mistake. "What a good boy!" He muttered: "Stop crying! What a good boy, why do you still play? Really!" Ruixuan could hear: If the grandmother's diet was poor during this period, even if the child made a mistake It shouldn't be beaten either; the great-grandfather said "what a good boy" and shouldn't be beaten at all, no matter how angry the "good" boy is! Seeing her brother being beaten, Xiao Niuzi hid herself in what she thought was a very tight place, but in fact she didn't hide. Behind the pomegranate pot, two small eyes peeked out from the edge of the pot. Ruixuan saw his little daughter all the way from his grandfather, and walked into the house without saying anything.When he entered the house, he said to himself: "This is the family education of subjugated slaves. There are only tears, cries, and unreasonable protection, but not a little toughness! Old man Qian hopes to have a child who can fight, which shows that Poet Qian— - After being beaten severely by the Japanese - I came to a complete realization: Children who can fight are rare, and they must be born as soon as possible. But, is it too late? The Japanese, in occupying Beiping At that time, will the Chinese be allowed to freely educate children, and educate them to be warriors who dare to fight? Poet Qian’s awakening is probably too late?” Just as he was talking to himself, Xiao Niuzi suddenly ran in from outside , There was no sound in the courtyard.Ruixuan knew that the courtyard was calm, so Xiao Niuzi started to move around. The little girl had a mixture of pride and cunning in her eyes, and she said to her father: "Brother, get beaten! Niuniu, hide! Hide behind the flower pot!" After she finished speaking, she showed some of the cutest white teeth and smiled. Ruixuan couldn't help but say to Niuzi: "You are cunning and bad, just as cunning and bad as primitive people! You are afraid of danger and disloyal!" He couldn't say it, because he knew that Niuzi was raised by his grandmother and great-grandfather From no teeth to the age when her mouth is full of cute little teeth; her slickness is not born with her, but has been taught to her by several generations of wisdom!These generations of cleverness would rather lose their Peiping than teach their young children to suffer from a slap in the face!