Chapter 6 Chapter Six

Mrs. Jin Yousao washed her clothes and hung them to dry on the boundary marker.The old stone pile is spotted with pockmarks.The gray-black clothes were draped over the stele, hanging down weakly, sometimes fluttering slightly in the wind. "Hey, sister-in-law Jin You, have you eaten yet?" She looked up, feeling panicked.It was Comrade Wang coming this way, and with him was a stranger, also in uniform.She always panicked whenever she saw Comrade Wang, which made him also feel uneasy, fearing that she might not respond properly.This time she answered very tactfully. "Hey! I've eaten." She agreed with a smile. "Have you had dinner too, Comrade Wang?"

He didn't hear what she said, so he hastily covered her up and said loudly, "Great! Great! Is your father-in-law at home?" She hurried into the gate and shouted, "Comrade Wang is here!" Boss Tan and Aunt Tan came out with smiles on their faces.Comrade Wang introduced to them the man in uniform who came with him. "This is Comrade Gu Gang," he said. "Gu Sizhi came from Shanghai to study our living conditions here. He wants to live with you and live the same life." They greeted Gu Gang with smiles.Gu Gang is in his thirties, with a slender build.Wearing black-rimmed glasses, the glasses frame and his thick black eyebrows seem to have committed a serious crime.His cotton uniform was a fine blue serge face, and it was brand new. It looked as if he was not used to wearing liberation clothes, and his body was a little out of wrinkle.He explained to them that he was a film director sent by the Federation of Literary and Art Circles to go to the countryside to experience life and collect materials.

Comrade Xiao Zhang, a militiaman, was Comrade Wang's servant, carrying Gu Gang's luggage, and rushed up from behind panting.Gu Gang seemed to feel that he had to compete with him in this situation, trying to grab the luggage and move it in by himself.Comrade Xiao Zhang refused to give up, the two wrestled all the way, their feet were crooked while carrying the burden, and they almost fell to the ground several times. During the land reform period, intellectuals once lived in Mrs. Tan's house, so they got used to it and were quite calm.They are very careful, never dare to apologize to the guests, say that the food is not good, the house is not good, and they don't say "Comrade is from Shanghai?" They are used to always say "Come down from the city", but that is wrong, as if It means that the status of the city is higher than that of the country.

They showed the visitor to a room where they kept their millstones and farm implements.All these things can be moved out, and the door can be removed to make a plank, which can be set up on two benches.Comrade Gu said it was great.Then they went back to the main room, and they all admired the dark blue vase which they had drawn by lot, which belonged to their allotted landlord.At the request of Comrade Wang, Aunt Tan ran to call Jin Gen and his wife.Jin Gen is a model worker, and his wife recently "returned to her hometown to give birth", which is very representative of the current general new atmosphere.Gu Gang was very impressed with them, these rural women are indeed very beautiful, he thought.

Aunt Tan talked the most.Most of the others just smiled and said to him twice, "The country is better now!" or "It's different now!" Aunt Tan always shouted with great anger: "If it weren't for Chairman Mao and his old man, we How can there be today?" She always added the words "his old man" after "Chairman Mao", looking very affectionate and respectful. Gu Gang could see that she was Comrade Wang's favorite exhibit, and maybe he let him live in her house for this reason.When Wang Xiangzhi was about to leave, Gu Gang sent him out. Comrade Wang said about the old woman in a tolerant tone: "She has one thing—she speaks very straightforwardly."

Comrade Wang has already mentioned to him the winter school here, and suggested that he be asked to teach, so that he can have more contact with the masses.Now he said again: "Take a good rest, comrade, the journey must have been hard, tomorrow I will accompany you to the literacy class and introduce you. He also explained in detail the importance of literacy classes, which can improve the political awareness of farmers.Listening to him, it seems that the job that Gu Gang is taking turns with the elementary school students in the town is the greatest and most difficult job in the whole country.Gu Gang thought to himself, Comrade Wang is indeed a very good propagandist.Wang's party history is also very long, and according to himself, he had actual combat experience in northern Jiangsu before.He really deserves a better position.Why are you still working as a village cadre in a remote village?Perhaps it was because of factional struggles within the party that made him depressed.He may even have been with a certain hardcore member who was eliminated by Mao Zedong.If so, then he is a dangerous person and should not get too close.Gu Gang became cautious because of this, and his attitude became much colder.

Comrade Wang walked back alone. He lived in the district office, which was the former Wusheng Temple.After he left Gu Gang, he realized that just now he had said a lot about his past... He worked underground during the Japanese occupation, but later became famous and fled to northern Jiangsu to join the New Fourth Army.He didn't intend to mention these things at first--to a person who met for the first time, why tell others these words. "Heroes don't know how to be brave in the past." Could it be that he has become a nagging old man, living only in his own memories.I want to feel sad.Probably because Gu Gang's attitude towards him seemed to be a little contemptuous, which made him want to boast about his past, "and let him know my past history." He hated when Gu Gang talked about domestic news with him the most. , with the air of thinking he knew nothing but the affairs of the local village.

He had never heard of Gu Gang's name.But from the tone of the introduction letter written by the person in charge of the Federation of Literary and Art Circles, it can be seen that he joined their camp after liberation. "I figured it out myself, I have served the party for more than 20 years, and I have always been at the core of the struggle," Comrade Wang said to himself, "Now I am here to entertain this opportunist, and I am still looked down upon by him. I am alive again!" ——Such a shameless opportunist, a cowardly intellectual, a running dog of the ruling class, has transformed himself and moved forward, and still looks down on people!"

He himself knew that he should not lose his temper, and his estimation of Gu Gang was not necessarily correct, but he always felt very depressed.He hoped that when he returned to the temple, there would be two farmers waiting in his office, some disputes waiting for him to resolve.That might loosen his chest a little.He's good with farmers.It is always quite pleasant to do something that one is good at.And in the eyes of farmers, he is the government.They made him feel that he was an indispensable cog in a vast machine, not an outdated tool tossed away in a dark corner. He is usually busy from morning to night, without a moment's free time, but this afternoon it seems that he has nothing to do.After he returned to the temple, he sat in front of his desk for a while, feeling very bored, then stood up again, and walked outside with his hands behind his back.Comrade Xiao Zhang was his housekeeper, sitting on a futon in front of the door, peeling garlic there.The old futon, the blue cloth is split open, revealing the straws inside.Comrade Zhang washed his clothes and hung a rope on the carved window sill to dry.A faint shadow of the sun shone on the ghastly red temple wall, motionless.

Comrade Wang suddenly remembered that he seemed to be living in the temple forever, in those spacious halls, in the dark empty rooms;When he married Sha Ming, he also lived in the temple.He knew—anyway, as long as he remembered the past, he would immediately think of her, and that seemed to be the easiest part to remember. The first time I saw her was a meeting of cadres.He was in the New Fourth Army in northern Jiangsu—at that time he used his current name, Wang Lin.At that time, all the cadres were concentrated in a small county town to give a big class, and they borrowed a landlord's house.The landlord himself was not there and moved to Wuhu.The dark hall, with bluestone pillars standing upright, was windy, a bit like an outdoor dusk.Everyone sat on the brick floor to listen to the lecture, and each took notes, with a legal pad on his lap.As usual, speeches ended with the shouting of slogans.Everyone stood up and shouted, "Long live Chairman Mao!" At the same time, they threw their hats into the air one after another, throwing them as high as they could with all their might.But when the hat falls, not everyone can afford to receive their own hat.Everyone was scrambling to grab hats, but the speaker had already raised one arm high, and the hoarseness also raised it up. "Long live Stalin!" he shouted.

"Long live Stalin!" Everyone shouted, and hats flew into the sky like black rain. After the meeting was over, Wang Lin noticed a female cadre standing there with a hat in her hand, looking very embarrassed.She picked up the wrong hat.She is very young.The hair of other female cadres was cut short and hung greasy on the cheeks, but she had two braids, coiled on the top of her head, hidden in the hat, completely invisible.So at ordinary times, at first glance, she would be regarded as a boy, especially because of her bloodless face, her eyes are widely separated, and she looks like a handsome boy.But now with no hat on and her braids showing, she looks like a schoolgirl.The uniform she was wearing was too big, and it made her look even more slender. Wang Lin took off a dirty old hat on his head, held it in his hand and turned it over for a look, it was obviously his own.I was ashamed to go up to her and ask her if he had picked up her hat.Several male cadres took their hats to ask her, but none of them belonged to her.Later a man found a hat perched high on a beam.A young man surnamed Yu immediately managed to get an old ladder, climbed up and took it down for her.When Wang Lin left the venue, Comrade Yu was still standing there talking to her.Although Wang Lin knew that Comrade Yu's position was too low and he was not qualified to marry, but he didn't feel at ease because of this. "Who was the one who lost his hat just now?" He asked another cadre impatiently. "What a joke!" "I haven't seen her. She's new here. What, you're interested in him?" "Don't talk nonsense!" After the meal, he tried to ask another person. "The one with the braids—is her lover's surname Chen?" "She's never married, right? You mean Sha Ming, right? She's been here for less than a year, and she's in the telecommunications team, so she's not married." "Probably I was mistaken!" He told him, "I still think she is Comrade Chen's lover." Female cadres all spend the night in the cooperative.He went to the cooperative early the next morning and asked to talk to Comrade Sha Ming. The layout here is also in accordance with the general store layout, with a row of mahogany chairs on one side, and a tea table sandwiched between the two chairs.He sat down, and there was a red paper couplet on the wall behind him, congratulating the opening of the cooperative. "This should be a good omen!" Wang Lin thought: "Propose to her in a cooperative. This should be the beginning of our lifelong cooperation in the revolutionary post." The morning sun came from IJ, illuminating his feet Baskets of rice and red beans, gray mushrooms and fungus, and large pieces of bamboo shoots gave off that dry and slightly sweet smell.The female cadres talked loudly on the counter, rolling up their bedding.They were sleeping on the counter last night.Then he saw Sha Ming walking towards him in a hurry.Wang Lin introduced himself, "I want to talk to you!" he said. She sat down with a smile, obviously ready for criticism.She later told him that she thought he must have come to give her advice about her braids, which had drawn so much criticism. "I heard that you are not married yet," Wang Lin said. "Neither have I. What do you think of my suggestion that we ask the Organization for marriage?" She was calm, he thought.Of course she seemed a little surprised.She smiled and replied, "Think about it!" "On my part, there's no need to reconsider. I've already made up my mind." Still smiling, she said, "This is a serious step, so think again!" He didn't push her to decide right away.Seeing her in the sunlight gave him a strange feeling—she looked so young, faded, like a yellowed photograph.He seemed to feel that he had to be careful not to touch the photo with his fingers, otherwise it would fade, become lighter, or even disappear completely.Two weeks later, when he went to find her at the telecommunications station twenty miles away, she had to wake up a colleague on the night shift and work for her as a substitute before she could go out and talk to him. "Let's hand in an application and get in!" he suggested. "If one of the two people is not suitable for marriage, don't worry, the organization will tell us, and we can let the organization decide for us." She still said the same sentence: "Think about it!" But He went to her a second time, and she backed down, hesitating, and said, "Okay!" So they handed in their applications and went in, getting permission from their superiors.One evening, Wang Lin sent an orderly to pick her up with a horse. The sound of hooves sounded especially crisp in the silence of dusk.He stood on the stone steps in front of the temple gate, and waited for the sound of hoofbeats to go away before entering.The main hall was dark, only some lights from his room door could vaguely see the blue and red faces of the god statues next to them, and their golden folds.The broken window paper was blown by the wind and rattled.He walked through the darkness and entered the East Side Hall, which was his room.Today, the room was cleaned and things were tidied up, and the lights were on, as if it was empty, with a special feeling. The party was more willing to compromise during the war, so they stationed in this temple, did not destroy those idols, and allowed the nuns to continue to stay, but the young nuns all ran away.An old nun was left, living in the back, doing homework at night, "Tuotuotuo" knocked on the wooden fish, knocking evenly one after another, going on forever, like ancient more leaking water drops, for a dead world Record time. Wang Lin walked up and down in his room, waiting for the girl to come, and gradually felt a trance in his heart, feeling that the charming atmosphere gradually deepened.She came that night and left at dawn, and the servant who picked her up sent her back and led the horse for her.He picked her up once a week thereafter.She always comes at night and leaves at dawn, like the ghostly mistress in those old stories. Sometimes he almost struggled, trying to break through the witch-like enigma.He would rather see her as ordinary, as a part of everyday life like other people's wives.But no.Only once did he feel that they were indeed a couple.It was a cadre meeting, temporarily changed to the small town where he was stationed because of the military situation.The Communist Party has always paid the most attention to the layout of the meeting place. Before the meeting, a senior official will go to the meeting place to inspect the meeting place for a week.But in the dilapidated villages and towns in this war zone, there are no flowers, no bright paper tapes, no dramatic lighting installations.Not even a magnified portrait of Chairman Mao could be found - that's the most essential thing. Wang Lin was very anxious.In the end, Sha Ming solved the problem for him. He pasted a large piece of red paper on the wall in the middle, and wrote a line of big characters: "Long live Mao Zedong." The locals have always washed their faces with steel washbasins. The basin was filled with cooking oil and placed on the table, one on each side.During the meeting, the oil in the basin was lit and burned, and the big orange flame shot up very high, with every tone and jump, light and shadow floated on the background of red paper, and all the cadres raised their arms. , swearing allegiance to the party, the venue was filled with a mysterious and solemn atmosphere.Wang Lin was extremely proud, as if they invited a guest at home, the wife entertained them well, and the results were complete.Afterwards, he talked to her about the process of that day, all kinds of interesting stories and little misfortunes, and it was very interesting to recall them.The happiest moment was when all the guests left, but she didn't follow, but stayed with him overnight.She told him about joining the New Fourth Army.In her last year of high school, there was a female teacher who often talked to her outside of class and became very close to her.This man is the Communist Party.In the mood of a girl, this kind of secret activity is too exciting, talking softly late at night, sneaking under the covers to read propaganda books, and lighting candles under the covers.The female teacher told her: Only the Soviet Union really helped China resist Japan.She often reported the news of Yan'an's great victory in the battle with the Japanese army, and everyone celebrated in private.So Sha Ming and several other female classmates became believers in communism.The female teachers later left the enemy-occupied areas and went to northern Jiangsu to join the New Fourth Army, and they took them away together. The name "Sha Ming" was adopted after she came here.She thought it was masculine; playful, like a trendy pseudonym. She told him about her winter here last year.Four telecommunications workers, one man and three women, were stationed in a peasant's home, occupying a main room.I work on two square desks during the day and sleep on them at night.The main room had no door, and was cut down by the soldiers to be used as firewood.The north wind was blowing in, and the oil lamp could hardly be lit.Working at night is very difficult.Although there is no door, the house is warmer than the cowshed after all, so the owner of the house always brings the cows in at night.Every time she heard the cow rattling and urinating, one of the two telegraphers on the night shift had to jump up and run over, put a wooden bucket under the cow's belly, and then go back to her room. seat.After the cow has finished urinating, another person has to rush to move the bucket away, otherwise it will be kicked over by it, flooding the ground with urine, and the bottom of its feet will be full of water.Having cows in the room has the same advantage.On a snowy night, the three girls huddled under the belly of the cow to sleep, like calves. When she told him this, she seemed ashamed, and laughed with him about her unexpected plight. "It was indeed a painful experience for the petty bourgeoisie to throw himself into the furnace of revolution," he admitted. "However, if you want to completely reform, you have to go through this stage." He pitied her.But there was no verbal expression. At most, he said, "You are not in good health, so you can't suffer. But your health will get better." In the summer, she fell ill because of a miscarriage.Lying on a door panel, I was carried to the temple. There is a medical station in the temple, where some wounded soldiers live.Wang Lin likes to be with her very much, but he has no time to take care of her.The situation in this area has been tense recently, and finally they had to retreat hastily. When the order to retreat came, it was in the middle of the night.Everyone suddenly became busy and became a mess.All the peasants’ things borrowed by the soldiers had to be returned to others, because their slogan was “Do not take a needle or a thread from the folk.” They could be heard banging on doors everywhere, shouting: “Mother! Mother!” An old woman with sleepy eyes Hazy buttoned the button, and opened the door tremblingly.The soldiers handed her a chair with a broken leg, or a broken pot with a big hole in the bottom.He thanked her and lent it to them for six months. ", "We're going now. But don't worry, ma'am!" he reassured him: "We're coming back." Wang Lin has countless things to take care of.He hurried back to the room and found that Sha Ming struggled to sit up, packed up her own things and packed them into small bags.For a moment he was very sad, not knowing how to tell her that she could not go with him. "The road is not easy to walk." He sat down on the edge of the bed, turned to face her, and pressed his palms on his knees, showing a very dignified look. "We have to take care of your health, so it's better for you not to move. I've made an agreement with Comrade Fang to let you live in his house temporarily." Comrade Fang is Wang Lin's servant.Wang Lin was very sure that the two elders of the Fang family would be loyal to him, because their son was a hostage in Xinsili. Slowly she continued to arrange things, but finally she stopped.As if exhausted, he threw his body forward and buried his face in the burden.He knew she was crying. "Be strong," he said. "This is a very common thing. Comrades often have to stay behind enemy lines and lay ambushes." "I'm going with you," she whimpered. "But there are not enough stretchers." He was anxious, and finally said the real reason. "There are not so many people carrying stretchers. The wounded soldiers have to go away. You are a sick woman, it doesn't matter. A wounded man can't get along." He also had some things to tidy up.After a while, when he turned around again, she had stopped crying and continued to arrange things there.There was already a rooster crowing.The yellow light of the oil lamp was diluted by the gray morning light, revealing a bleak color.He felt like they were going to catch an early train, and he just felt flustered.Comrade Fang's father and elder brother came carrying a door panel, helped her out of the bed, laid her on it, and covered her with a quilt.In fact, the weather is very hot, but it always seems that the patient should cover up.Wang Lin bent down, tucked the quilt behind her neck, and said softly, "You're fine. But I'd rather be careful and get better soon. We'll be back soon." She nodded slightly on the pillow, Her face was damp and pale. "Comrade! Don't worry, it doesn't matter." The old man said loudly.But the old man's heart was obviously very heavy, and he waited helplessly for the countless troubles and dangers ahead.Wang Lin listened to his reluctantly feigned cheerful tone, and suddenly felt a chill in his heart.There he stood while they carried her across the rice fields, under the morning stars.The army moved to another area.This is already the end of the Anti-Japanese War, and all aspects of the war have become indifferent due to extreme fatigue, and no one is willing to work hard.Often after a vigorous battle, no one died, and it became a farce situation.No matter which side rushes forward with all its strength, the other side will surrender en masse; but whenever there is a chance, they will fall back again.Everyone just tossed and turned like this, it didn't matter.Entire regiments and entire divisions of troops are like piles of chips that are pushed back and forth on the poker table.  Under such circumstances, of course, people often cross the border, and it is convenient to carry letters.But as time passed, it seemed that Sha Ming had completely lost contact with the New Fourth Army.Don't know what happened to her.There are many possibilities.It is also possible that she was discovered; perhaps someone secretly captured her, or maybe her fever became severe again, and she lacked medicine, so she died.  Wang Lin once managed to send someone to deliver a letter to Fang An; the letter was written by their son, asking about Sha Ming's whereabouts.The Fang family said that they sent her away because someone in the area knew her and was in danger of being discovered, so they sent her to another village far away to live with a relative of theirs.But they heard that she had left there of her own accord.  Wang Lin finally got a chance to go there to investigate in person.He disguised himself as a small businessman, ran to the village that the Fang family had heard about, and looked for their relative, Brother Zhao.  Brother Zhao is a short man in his forties, with big eyes, a short face, and green scalp.The hair style seems to be flattened.The lack of a chin seemed to be a matter of self-defense, lest someone punch him on the chin and give him a fatal blow.  He was dressed in a blue cloth coat in a refined manner, and he was not an ordinary farmer.If you want to ask about local timber, sericulture, tea mountains, salt transportation, and taxation, he is familiar with everything, but he still has his own duties and is very individual.Wang Lin pretended to be very interested in timber, and it was the Fang family who instructed him to ask Brother Zhao for advice when passing by.Brother Zhao made it clear.His eloquence was so good that Wang Lin thought that "starling" must be his nickname.But after seeing his wife come out, everyone called her "Grandma Eight", only then did they know that he was indeed Xingba.  Brother Zhao kept him for dinner.At the dinner table, the host explained in detail the complexity and subtlety of the tax payment procedures. There are various checkpoints along the way, and you can meet all kinds of troops at any time.This is an unfortunate "no matter" area, which was ravaged by Japanese soldiers, the Communist Party, the Peace Army, and all kinds of miscellaneous troops in turn.  After they drank a few gu wines, Brother Zhao told the story of "that time the Japanese soldiers came down from Tongzhou".  "I'm sitting at home," he said—and walked in.One of the leading officers asked me, "Are you a commoner?" I said, "Yes." Then he asked me again, "Do you like Chinese soldiers? Or do you like Japanese soldiers?" I don't know how to answer it.I don't know whether he is a Chinese soldier or a Japanese soldier.It is also Chinese. " "You can hear their accents immediately," Wang Lin said.After the words were out of his mouth, he remembered that, to the ears of the country people, the Mandarin of the Japanese soldiers was as strange and ridiculous as the Mandarin of the northerners.  Brother Zhao didn't argue with him either, he just nodded his head and continued talking. "Nuan, you can't tell by the accent. There is only one way, you can tell by looking at their boots. Warm! It's different, but I don't dare to look at it." He tilted his head back slightly, stiffened his neck, and made a gesture Standing at attention, he smiled and shook his head. "Don't dare to look down." Wang Lin smiled patiently and said nothing.  "Then how should I answer him? I sighed and said: "Oh, sir! Our common people are suffering! Seeing soldiers, whether they are Chinese soldiers or Japanese soldiers, they are all the same to us. I just want to be able to live in peace." , Everyone is alright!" After hearing this, he said, "You're right!"——In this way, I knew he was a Japanese soldier!" He seemed very proud of himself when he said this.  After the meal, Wang Lin stood up to say goodbye.Brother Zhao heard from him that he was about to leave for a neighboring county, and he had to get there before dark, so he assured him to keep him, and said repeatedly, "It's a pity that I can't stay here for two days, it's rare." " Mr. Ba is too warm to others," Wang Lin said. "But you've gone out with your enthusiasm for place names. ——Oh, I'd forget if I didn't mention it. I have a relative, a young female family member. I passed by here last time, and I heard that Mr. Ba disturbed me a lot. Forgot to say thank you." "Young female family member?" Brother Zhao seemed to be taken aback for a moment.  "She used to live in Fang's house." Wang Lin said while staring at him to see if there was any change in his face.  Brother Zhao seemed to be confused. "You're mistaken, we don't have any young female relatives here." She may have put on a disguise to conceal her real age. "I still treat her like a child," Wang Lin laughed. "Probably because when I saw her before, she was still very young, and she had a bad temper. Actually—it's warm! She's not young at all! She looks like a middle-aged lady." "We don't have any middle-aged wives here," Brother Zhao said, shaking his head. "No." "I heard that she was sick. I heard that after this illness, she is so old that she is almost an old lady—" "There's no old lady here either." Brother Zhao said resolutely.  It's not that Wang Lin didn't understand that Brother Zhao probably had his own reasons and didn't dare to tell the truth, fearing that he might be a spy on the other side chasing a female Communist there.So Wang Lin took the risk of exposing his identity.  "Don't be afraid, just tell me the truth," he said. "I am a member of the New Fourth Army. You tell me the truth about what happened, but you are not allowed to lie. You lie to us and we are right. We have your name on our blacklist, and the family will never want to live." Brother Zhao was in a dilemma. This person himself said that he was a Communist, but who knew which side he was on.This time it was useless to even look at his boots—he was wearing civilian clothes and had no boots. Brother Zhao couldn't make up his mind, so he just procrastinated, denying that anyone had ever lived in his house, and no wife of any age ever set foot in the door of his house.  "The Fang family said they sent her to you. What did you do to her? Did you betray her? Sent her to the gendarmerie? Wang Lin forced her to ask. "God, how can there be such a thing, it's a shame! If the Fang family really said that, then they are lying. My God! Where did I offend them and want to hurt me like this?"  "Where did you get our people? You tell the truth! You killed our comrades, and you are dying?" After many intimidation, Brother Zhao finally uttered the truth, admitting that he once housed a sick man here. girl.Brother Zhao thought to himself, if Wang Lin turned his back on him again and revealed that he was sent by the other side, he could still defend himself by saying that he was forced to make up the story because he didn't know what to do. That being said, there was no way to send the man away. "Where is she now?" "She left in August and said she was going to Zhenjiang to be admitted to the hospital for treatment. She said she had relatives in Zhenjiang." "Are you walking alone?" "When she left, she was already in much better health. She said she could leave by herself and no one would send her away." Wang Lin questioned him a lot, but after repeated questions, Brother Zhao still kept these few words.Wang Lin thought his words were probably credible, because Sha Ming did have an uncle who lived in Zhenjiang. Wang Lin returned to his place of work, feeling quite satisfied.But soon many new doubts surrounded him.Why has there been no news from her? If she was in a big place like Zhenjiang, it would be easy to find contacts, and she would not be completely cut off from news.  Gradually there were rumors that someone had seen her in Zhenjiang.She obviously betrayed the revolution and became a deserter.Everyone mentioned her name sometimes in the discussion. What can Wang Lin say? I can only say, "It's a pity that she is not stable. But petty bourgeois intellectuals have always been vacillating. I can't bear hardships. I can't." I feel very ashamed to influence her and further win over her, and I need to review it. For the first time he doubted whether she was happy with him.Their union was not recognized by the outside world, and it was probable, then, that she had married someone else and settled down to the vulgar life of a housewife in a small town.Wang Lin said to himself, putting aside all personal feelings, he still sincerely hoped that she would return to the revolutionary ranks.In the current tense situation, it is time to employ people, and the organization is particularly lenient.As long as she showed sufficient repentance, probably without prolonged contrition, she would be rehired.Wang Lin followed the troops and drove into a small town one evening.The city has changed hands many times, and after heavy artillery fire, most of it has been reduced to ruins.The weary and disorganized procession passed the quays along the river and then set foot on a long cobbled street.There was no one on the street, and the houses on both sides were completely blown up, and there were broken whitewashed walls one after another.The roofs of the old-style houses are high, although they are only two stories, which means they are very tall buildings.They marched past a white roofless house with a row of black windows.Occasionally, Wang Lin raised his head and looked up, but was surprised to see a girl in the window of the building, leaning over the window and looking at him. He really didn't expect that people could live in this kind of house.  In the twilight, the girl's face was just a vague white shadow, but she could still be seen to be beautiful.And, what surprised him most—she was smiling at him there.He turned his head and looked away.This must be a brothel.These whores are also stupid. They don't know that it is useless to do business with the New Fourth Army.But he was startled suddenly, and immediately raised his head again.A voice inside him shouted: "Shamin! Shamin!" But the face was gone, as if she had heard a stormy cry that suddenly rose up in his heart, scaring her away. He took a step to the side, left the team, stood there looking up at the window in a daze.She hid when she saw him? But she smiled at him just now.She must have come down the stairs in a hurry, walking on the dark stairs, if she was not careful, she would fall to her death.He found a rectangular opening, apparently a former door, and stepped through it.  For the first split second, I was a little confused as to what was going on.A gust of cool wind blew against his cheeks.All kinds of black shapes stood on all sides, but there was a faint purple-blue gleam above the head.It was as if there were crickets squeaking underfoot.He is standing outdoors.The whole house was blown up, leaving only the front wall, and behind that wall there was nothing but some rubble.  He raised his eyes and looked for the upstairs window.I saw the woman leaning over the window just now, it was the first window on the left, so, in reverse, it should be the first window on the right.It was nothing more than a rectangular hole in the wall.One corner was missing from the white wall, standing there lonely, panting against the dark blue sky.He looked into the window, and the inside was empty, only the evening sky, with a slight wind, and the stars just came out, twinkling and twinkling.He couldn't help feeling a chill in the back of his head, as if his scalp was being tightened.  He could hear the rhythmic patter of troops marching in the empty street.Wang Lin heard the footsteps gradually going away, and he suddenly went mad with terror.他横冲直撞跑到街上去，一路飞奔着，赶上了他们。  这件经验虽然使他神经上受了很大的震动，同时也使他心里充满一种近于喜悦的感情。他相信她一定是死了，她今天和他见这一面，就是为了要他知道她是死了。她不愿意让他想着她是丢弃了他，又跟了别人。  然后他过去所受的教育又抬了头，告诉他这完全是迷信。但是他确实亲眼看见的。他一定是神经失常了。他伤心地想着，他不但失去了她，又还要失掉他的理性。 许多年之后，他才听到一点关于她的确实的消息。共产党占领了大陆以后，他被调动到许多不同的地方。在这期间遇见了一个老同事，从前和他们俩都相当熟。这人告诉他说：他在苏州看见过沙明。她见了面就像不认识他似的，所以他也没有和她招呼。但是后来他去打听了一下，听说她结了婚了，有两个小孩，有一爿店，卖藤器与草拖鞋。王霖听到这消息，并没有很深的感触。感情上的极度疲乏，早已使他淡漠了许多。他也已经习惯于这种思想了，想着她还活在世上，生男育女，渐渐地衰老了，在另一个男人家里。  他得到一个机会回家乡去看看。十七年没回家了。他母亲还在世，但是和他隔阂太厉害，他们已经没有什么话可谈了。她反正见了他就是絮絮叨叨，把这多年来的伤心事，吃的苦，受的损失，一桩桩一件件地诉说着。他无论怎样安慰她，说从今以后，慢慢地就会有好日子过了，也并不能使她愉快起来。她对于共产党统治下的光明远景并没有信心，而事实上家境也的确是越来越艰难了。他拿的薪水是供给制，当然也没法往家里带钱。家里还有一个童养媳，从前还没有来得及圆房他就离开了家。那女人很老实，他这一二十年没回来，她也并没有跟人逃走，仍旧在他家里。这许多年的劳苦操作，挨打受气，已经把她折靡成一个老丑的妇女人。王霖心里觉得有点对她不起。他和她结了婚，但是他难得回去一趟，而每次回去的时候，只有觉得更寂寞。他虽然没有什么朋友，和一切人的关系都搞得相当好，但是因为太自信，太固执，对于上司不大肯迁就、敷衍。就因为这缘故，无论有什么事情出了乱子，总是他挨批评。在开会的时候，他即使在争论中占了上风，主持会议的上级人员做起总结来，总给扭过来，使他处于不利的地位。共产党席卷大陆之后，他不但没有升迁，反而被贴上了"赶不上形势"的招牌纸。当干部是一个"死而后已"的职业，当然决没有辞退他的可能。他也像许多别的老干部一样，被调到乡下去担任一个低下的职务，那也就是他们的养老金了。  他对于党的一般性的政策绝对没有意见。无论怎样不合理，不能接受的，他所受的训练也能够使他很快地"打通思想"，心安理得地接受下来。使他起反感的倒是一些小事——政府官员的妻子永远也做着官，吃粮不管事；此外，无论办什么事，也就跟旧社会上一样，还是得靠认识人，得要"找关系"。同时他对于政府有些惊人的浪费的地方也觉得有些心悸。譬如像重建北京上海的许多佛寺，造得金碧辉煌，仅只为了取悦于来访问的西藏代表。他知道这些钱都是从哪里来的，因为是由他经手，非常吃力地从农民身上一点一滴榨来的。  他常常感到愤懑，但是他这是一种无可奈何的气愤，像一个孤独的老年人被他唯一的朋友所悔辱，自己生一回子气，也并没有人去劝他，他熬不了多久，自己倒又去转圆。他除了党以外，在这世界上实在是一无所有的了。