Chapter 14 9. Don't give

After the founding of New China, Qi Chu served as the first chairman of the People's Government of H Province.As non-Party democrats, my grandfather and second grandfather were appointed as members of the Provincial Political Consultative Committee and representatives of the Provincial People's Congress respectively.As a patriotic and enlightened gentry, the third grandfather was not criticized during the land reform, but confiscated the remaining 400 mu of land including Datong Garden and thirteen of the fourteen courtyards including the guest room courtyard. On the eve of the fall of the provincial capital, my grandfather used mule and horse carts to bring back the twenty-four carts of books in his hometown.For a while, the small vendors in Fuji had inexhaustible wrapping paper, many of which were lithographed or woodblock printed Song editions or Ming and Qing editions. The paper was thin and flexible, and it wrapped the braised pigs properly Hoof, haggis and carrots in Mojia sauce.There is also new energy in the farm stove.A Song edition thread-bound book can boil a pot of boiling water, and a set of "Twenty-Four Histories" can cook several pots of fragrant rice.A strong wind blew in the market, and the wrapping paper went with the wind, flying all over the sky.An old scholar heard the sound of reading in Langlang rising and falling with the strong wind, reverberating in the sky. At first hearing, it was "it's too late"; The raindrops as big as copper coins fell down with a "ploppap".The raindrops fell in the pond and turned into little tadpoles shaking their heads and tails.The old scholar read it and said, "I don't understand this, it's in foreign language."

It took a lot of trouble to arrange for the third grandfather.Although he is a patriotic and enlightened gentry, he has been in charge of a large manor for many years and has the status of an exploiter.The third grandfather had no objection to this. The land reform had not yet started. He had already filled in a form and recorded all the land, real estate, livestock and other properties and submitted them to the farmers association.At the end of the land reform, he also got a piece of land, but he was old and frail and could no longer support himself.Qi Chu proposed that the Provincial People's Government appoint him as a librarian of the Provincial Museum of Culture and History.The third grandpa didn't come to work.He said to the two old brothers: "Second brother, fourth brother, I'm done with my work and I'm a little tired. I'm going to my father's place to rest." A few days later, the third grandfather died without any illness at the age of sixty-six.

The death of the uncle and the catastrophe of the book are two lumps in the grandfather's heart.Just after Liberation, my grandfather kept the door closed, often with his hands folded behind his back, pacing in circles in the living room angrily, talking to himself the same sentence: "I see how your little palace chapter came to see me?" The fifth day of the first lunar month is my grandfather's birthday.Like a mysterious dung beetle, a black car got into an alley near my grandfather's house.A middle-aged man wearing a "sack" Chinese tunic got out of the car and walked out of the alley again. Without any entourage, he carried a snack box tied up with hemp rope by himself, walked tens of meters, and walked into the grandfather's house. When I saw my grandfather in the small courtyard of my house, I straightened my pen and said, "Teacher Si, I'm here to pay your respects to your birthday!" Then he made a ninety-degree bow.Grandpa glanced at him and said with a blank expression: "Oh, it's the hall badge, please sit down!" Qi Chu and the dim sum box followed my grandpa, "Si teacher, look, this is from 'Jinyang Yu'." Nantang is the teacher's favorite!" Grandpa said: "Your memory is not bad, but my teeth are not up to par, why don't you sit down!" As soon as Qi Chu sat down, grandpa couldn't help asking: "Dianzhang, how about you?" I am very happy to be back, but where is your brother Cheng?" Qi Chu said sadly: "Fourth teacher, blame me for not taking good care of brother Cheng. Luyi was killed by bandits and died for the country.” My grandfather was stunned for a moment and asked, “Was he killed by bandits? Which bandit was it?” Qi Chu said: “In times of war, there is no way to investigate.” Grandpa was silent. .Qi Chu said again: "The people's government of Qidi has been notified that Brother Cheng has been recognized as a revolutionary martyr. Please mourn the fourth teacher!" My grandfather asked: "How is the political commissar Huang Yisheng? I really want to meet him for a while. There are some things I want to ask him for advice." Qi Chu said in amazement: "The teacher also knows about him?" Grandpa said: "I have heard about him for a long time, and it is like thunder!" Qi Chu said: "He also sacrificed. When breaking out of the siege, his guards secretly cooperated with the enemy and killed him. He was taken to the enemy's camp and executed by the enemy." Grandpa was stunned for a long time, and said: "Commissioner Huang has such extraordinary revolutionary vigilance, how could he let himself into the 'promotion' of others, what a pity!" Qi Chu said : "He usually didn't handle the relationship with the friendly army well. When he broke through, the friendly army sat idly by, the army broke up, and he became a bare commander. After he was captured, the enemy exhausted torture, he just gritted his teeth and closed his eyes He didn’t make a sound, and after he died, his head was hung by the enemy on the city tower, but his eyes were staring and he never closed it.” My grandfather changed his face in shock, shook his head again and again and said, “Don’t say it, don’t say it, my Disturbed!"

"Let me tell you one more thing." Qi Chu said, "During the land reform period, the underworld was messing around, and the farmers among the peasants looted your collection of books for many years. I was in the Henan, Anhui and Su Administrative Offices. Say hello to the comrades below. Today is to pay respects to the teacher for his birthday, and also to apologize to the teacher!" He took out a red book from his pocket, held it in both hands, and put it on the table next to his grandfather. The letter of appointment sent by the teacher. I remember that the teacher’s long-cherished wish for many years is to run a library for the children in his hometown. Now, please let me make up for it by asking the teacher to be the director of the provincial library!” My grandfather had a sore nose , shed two lines of tears, and said: "Okay, Xiao Dianzhang, don't mention the past again!"

Not long after, Da Jin, who had been widowed for many years and was working as an elementary school teacher, also received a "Martyr's Certificate" issued by the county government, and a "Glorious Martyr's" card was hung on the lintel.Da Jin said angrily, "Didn't you say that he instigated the old ministry to mutiny? Why did he become a martyr again? Who told him to become a martyr?" From then on, every year on the fifth day of the first month of the lunar calendar, Qi Chu would visit my grandfather's house to pay respects to my grandfather's birthday. The car hid in the alley as usual, and Qi Chu abandoned the car and walked as usual, without any entourage, to perform the disciple's gift.This habit did not change until he became a member of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China and the first secretary of the Provincial Party Committee of H.But some people also said that as soon as Qi Chu came, there were plainclothes guards standing in front of the grandfather's house until the alley.

In grandpa's living room, everyone no longer mentioned the matter of uncle.Because grandpa had said hello: "Don't make trouble for the palace chapter. Think about it, Xiaocheng is his brother. If Commissar Huang and others say that he instigated a mutiny in the old department and defected from the team, he would be How can we deal with it? Now, Political Commissar Huang has also died. Compared with Xiaocheng, his heroism is even worse. How can the palace medal use the head of a martyr to hang on the tower to pay homage to another martyr? A wave of bandits appeared, but maybe they were really the work of bandits. There are so many mysteries in history! In short, don’t mention it again!”

Mothers and aunts are unwilling to let the fleas go.As soon as Flea entered the city, he became the head of the department one level higher than the county head.But when he mentioned my uncle, he still gritted his teeth, not forgetting the revenge of my uncle driving him around with an empty gun.My aunt said, what?Thank goodness Brother Cheng didn't leave any bones behind, otherwise, wouldn't he still have to whip the corpse! Mother said that the director seemed not to be happy.The battlefield romance between him and the female student had long since come to an end, and he still brought his married wife arranged by the family into the provincial capital.After he came to power, his top priority was to fall in love with a young and beautiful widow. He lied to his original wife that he would follow Qi Chu to visit abroad, and he had to bring his wife with him when he went abroad. Disgraceful to the country.Although his wife is uneducated, she is a staunch patriot. She divorced him neatly and told him: "When you go to a foreign country, you have to greet me a little bit. Don't see foreign women, and your bones will be weak." , overturning other people's walls and telling them to smash bricks, even foreign bricks can hurt people!"

Happy laughter erupted in Grandpa's living room. But the grandfather said: "Ernier, you are being mean again! Didn't the director be punished? He was wrong to lie in a serious manner. As for his extramarital affairs, there is no need to make rash comments. The master said: "You have not seen good Virtue is like a lustful person.” Confucius has never seen a person who loves benevolence as much as he loves beauty, not to mention that his first wife was arranged by his parents. This kind of marriage has also created many revolutionaries! Therefore, the so-called Flea Director Don’t mention the right and wrong, who doesn’t have fleas on the head of the kang?” My third aunt was a “38-style” cadre wearing a “sack” and she was also sitting in the living room at that time.Grandpa said: "Sannier, if you meet the head of the Flea Department, you must apologize to him on behalf of your brother Cheng. If he still doesn't feel relieved, you can return the pistol and give it to him, and tell him to drive you all over the yard." Just run around." The third aunt nodded repeatedly and said, "Yes, yes!" The people in the living room burst out laughing again.

Then came the time to stop laughing.In May 1958, the Second Session of the Eighth CCP uncovered a group of rightists and anti-Party elements who had infiltrated the Party.The former first secretary of the Provincial Party Committee of H was also named and criticized, and he was labeled as "right opportunist".Grandpa read the newspaper, and the eyeballs deeply embedded under the brows bulged out like light bulbs, "What? Isn't the 'Sheng Zi' filled yet? Last year, our unreasonable Dr. Liude and the vice chairman of the Provincial Political Consultative Conference were also beaten. He has become a rightist, and now he is attacking the head of the first secretary! Qi Chu is the governor and the second secretary, so is something going to happen to him too?"

Grandpa's worries are unnecessary.Soon, Qi Chu criticized the first secretary's speech, saying that he attacked "agricultural cooperation has been hasty and messed up, and the living standards of farmers have declined", and slandered the "socialist transformation of agriculture".Grandpa was taken aback again, "What? Qi Chu is the second secretary, and criticizing the first secretary like this is suspected of shirking responsibility and even adding insult to injury. This is not Qi Chuzhi!" After meeting the reporter, I told my grandfather that I heard that Comrade Qi Chu had been severely criticized by leading comrades for not speaking at the plenary session of the Central Committee. It was the kind of "slap" criticism that raised his awareness.After he spoke, Chairman Mao stood up and led the applause.Grandpa collapsed on the reclining chair and said, "Blame my opinion as a scholar, Qi Chu is a good student of Chairman Mao!"

After Qi Chu became the first secretary of the Provincial Party Committee, he led the people of the whole province in the "Great Leap Forward" and took the lead in "launching" a large number of "satellites" for high-yield wheat and small earthen furnace iron-making "satellites" across the country, establishing the country's first people's commune.My mother, who was teaching at a girls' high school, did not know how to make iron with a small earthen furnace or any furnace, and certainly did not teach students how to make iron, so she publicly expressed modesty that she was not qualified to participate in such a "Great Leap Forward", and then said without much regret. Became a "rightist", went to the farm to graze five dairy goats, and asked me to buy books for her, and studied animal husbandry.Then, there was a "three-year famine", and the number of "abnormal deaths" in H province also set a national record. In those few years, Qi Chu was too busy to pay respects to my grandfather's birthday.But my grandfather was anxious to see him, and said, "Why didn't the palace chapter come? I want to ask him, how did he understand that the first paragraph of the Communist Manifesto says that a ghost is wandering the continent of Europe? Could it be Let him create 'ghosts' like this?" I told my grandfather that under the personal leadership of Comrade Qi Chu, the Provincial Party Committee formulated a "Continuous Leap Forward" plan. The amount of milk and apples each person drank every day was very specific. Very tempting indicators, the newspaper office has already issued a schedule, and when the newspaper is about to be published the next day, the provincial party committee suddenly called and asked the newspaper office to withdraw the manuscript quickly, saying that a secretary in charge of agriculture came from the Central Secretariat, and after reading the plan, he lost his temper Say, be conservative!Grandpa collapsed on the reclining chair again, closed his eyes and said, "Anyway, I want to meet Qi Chu!" Later, my second grandfather, who suffered from edema, came to the provincial capital to attend the Provincial People's Congress, and said to my grandfather who was also debilitated: "Fourth brother, you probably won't see the palace badge, he made a review at the 'National People's Congress' meeting, As he was talking, he knelt down on the rostrum with a bang, and cried bitterly, saying that he would plead guilty to the people of the whole province and ask the Party Central Committee to punish him severely." Grandpa closed his eyes, but tears came from the corners of his eyes. He came out tremblingly and said, "This little... small hall, he... he still sheds tears!" I said, not long ago, Comrade Qi Chu went to inspect the village in the east of Y, and when he entered the village, all the rooms were empty.He walked into a farmhouse and saw a skeleton lying on the bed. He fainted and cried bitterly when he woke up.Grandpa and Second Grandpa also choked up when they heard this.But the two elder brothers always had "partial eyes" towards their proud disciples in the early years. The grandfather wiped away his old tears and asked, "He is to blame for the things in H province, and who is to blame for the things in the whole country?" The second grandfather said, "Fourth brother, Don't go on talking. No one in China can control this matter now, only Marx can control it!" In 1962, on a day that was not the fifth day of the first lunar month, a car sneaked into the alley again.I haven't seen him for a few years, but Qi Chu's appearance has obviously changed, his complexion is sallow, his eyes are dull, his skin is no longer protected by the layer of fat, his upper eyelids and double chin are wrinkled and drooping.He and my grandpa were silent for a long while, looking at the bluegrass on the balcony and said: "It needs watering." My grandpa said: "Asparagus is withered, I can't take care of them anymore." The wall clock "tick" "Dud beep" beating into the unbearable silence.Grandpa asked again: "Dianzhang, do you still remember Shi Zhu?" Qi Chu froze for a moment, tapped his head with his fingers, and said embarrassingly, "I'm not working well!" Grandpa said, "It was when you led the peasant riots, The person who led the horse for you." Qi Chu said: "Oh, I remembered, he is a member of the peasant association, a great guy who does a long job." Grandpa said: "He is old, and you are old too." Qi Chu said : "Time makes people old, how is he now?" Grandpa said: "I went to my hometown and saw the 'Protection of Mai' at the crossroads. I asked me, "Whose name is this?" I said, it was Qi Chu, an old villager from Qidi. Shi Zhu said, "Why is it still him? Why did Chairman Mao like him so much, why didn't he let him go? Just call He's leaving, I'm going to lead the animals for him right now!'" Qi Chu sat still with a sad expression on his face, and said, "Fourth teacher, I'm leaving, I'm here to say goodbye to you." Qi Chu was transferred to Guangzhou.When my grandfather sent him away, he suddenly remembered that thirty-six years ago, he went to Guangzhou to attend the Peasant Movement Workshop. Later, there was a good story about Mr. Mao Runzhi saying goodbye to his disciples with Jiang Yan's "Farewell Fu".Grandpa had mixed feelings, and chanted wistfully: "'The only thing is to say goodbye to those who have lost their souls!...It's heartbreaking, and I feel sad. The wind is rustling and there are different sounds, and the clouds are long and strange.'..." Grandpa burst into tears, Unable to finish the sentence, he choked up and said: "Dian Zhang, you have to blame yourself and take care of yourself!" With tears in his eyes, Qi Chu chanted "Farewell Fu": "'Look at the hometown of Qiaomu, and resign from the north beam forever.'..." Grandpa scolded and said, "How can you say 'forever farewell'?" Qi Chu said sadly, bowed, and said, "Fourth teacher, I'm gone, and I will spend the rest of my life to atone for the sins of the elders in my hometown." After getting out, grandpa still looked at the distant smoke for a long time, shed old tears and said, "What's wrong? I don't understand!" Unfortunately, "Jie Beiliang Xi Yongci" has become a prophecy.In July 1967, Qi Chu died of illness in Guangzhou during the "Cultural Revolution" at the age of 61. As soon as the "Cultural Revolution" began, my grandfather became a "feudal remnant". He was driven out of the provincial capital and lived with a relative who was sent to the countryside. Monthly death.When my grandfather was dying, he said something stupid: "Call Qi Chu quickly, I have something to ask him." Mother said: "Father, Qi Chu has left early!" Grandpa said: "Then call Xiao Dianzhang!" Mother said: "Father, Xiao Dianzhang and Qi Chu are alone!" Grandpa said: "No, they are not alone. I want to take Xiao Dianzhang back to Fuji and live in the guest room courtyard." Mother said: "Dad, The guest room is gone too!" Grandpa said: "Why not? Your brother Cheng is still waiting for him in the guest room, and you have something to discuss with him!" Extra Volume〓Romantic Aunt Xue ?Outside the volume? Romantic Aunt Xue Bombs are also falling from the sky in Nanyang. My mother took me and my younger brother away from Qidi, and just after arriving in Nanyang, I met Aunt Xue who had fled to Nanyang with the Provincial Girls' High School.Aunt Xue said with a secretive look: "Sister Meng, let me tell you a rare thing! The devil dropped a bomb on the bank of the Baihe River, and a pair of wild mandarin ducks exploded!" Mother smiled and said, "You are going to make a sensation again! No!" Aunt Xue said, "You don't believe it? On that day, the devil's plane swooped down screaming and howling, its tail curled up, and a bomb dropped down. With a bang, the sky fell and the earth shattered, cutting a big willow tree in half. Thick smoke When they dispersed, they saw a pair of mandarin ducks embracing each other and laying down under the tree, unscathed. Mount Tai collapsed in front of them without changing their love, and it was in full swing. The male mandarin duck whispered: "Little sister, wake up!" The mother duck closed her eyes and said softly, "Brother, what happened just now? Why did it fall from the sky, such a big broken gong!" The mother smiled and bent over, "You made up again, didn't you!" Aunt Xue said: " You don't believe me? Just ask, I'm not the only one who saw it, the female mandarin duck is pink and tender, with a beauty mole on the corner of her mouth; the male mandarin duck has a fair face, a high nose bridge, and a pair of tortoise shell framed myopia glasses." Mother's face was completely drained of color. The tortoiseshell glasses gleamed jerkily on the bridge of my father's nose, slid down, pushed up, slid down again.  "It's because... just because of a little black donkey!" The father argued anxiously. "What? Where did a little black donkey come from?" The mother was so angry that her ears twitched. I remember that it was a very cute "Little Black Donkey".My father once looked at the manuscript he had recorded, tapped the beat on the table with his fingers, and hummed little by little in his head: Speaking of black donkeys, speaking of black donkeys, there is a story about talking about black donkeys . White spine and white coat, white tail tip and white belly. Pink ears, pink funnel, pink nose, pink eyes, black lips, and four silver hooves. There are flower saddles, copper stirrups, and donkey sticks inlaid with sandalwood wood. There are gold chews, silver rings, five-flower bridles and tassels. Looking at the donkeys of men and women, there are only pretty little beauties sitting on them. ...  Aunt Xue, who was hiding outside the door, jumped in and said, "Mr. Zhang, don't go around in circles! Sister Meng asked what happened to you and the 'beauty mole'. How did you bring out a little black donkey?" My father blushed, "Listen to me! I want to collect Nanyang major tunes and write down the scores, right? You know, she...she is a graduate of the music department of K female teacher, she can write down scores, and She will translate the "Gongchi" notation used by the people into numbered notation or stave, right? Her father is also a well-known "qu crazy" in Nanyang, and he has a collection of manuscripts that are kept secret, right? I met her by the river, I hope to get her help, please ask her to write down the score of "Little Black Donkey" for me first, right? Who knows that the plane came and dropped the bomb there!" "Go on!" Aunt Xue asked persistently, "What did you do when you threw the bomb?" "What else can you do under the bomb?" The father glared at the roof as if glaring at the untimely bomb. "A man instinctively wants to protect a woman, and a woman instinctively wants to be protected by a man." "Tell me, how do you protect a beauty instinctively?" The father stammered and said, "She said... she said oops, she scared me to death! I said... I said no... don't be afraid..." Father felt humiliated as if he was on trial, and glanced at Aunt Xue, " What else can I do! You men and women are mixed, crowded in the black air-raid shelter, I don't know what romance will come out!" "What a Zhu Bajie, you beat him up!" Aunt Xue bit her lip with her beautiful canine teeth, and said with a sneer, "Why am I doing this? Back then, your father-in-law locked up Sister Meng and didn't let you see each other. It was you who begged me to go through the needles for you, and became the matchmaker in the house. "The shadow of the flowers on the other side of the wall is moving, and it is suspected to be a beautiful woman." I am afraid that this "beautiful man" has changed! Sister Meng, you need instinct Discipline your Mr. Zhang well. Hmph!" She twisted her waist, turned around and left, the high heels she wore from the provincial capital beat light and crisp drumbeats on the clay soil of Nanyang Ancient City, walked into the opposite hut, and walked away from the window. Stretched out his head and shouted: "Sister Meng, tell Xiaoban to come and sleep with me, you have to take care of your little Zhang, who is not yet full moon, for your Mr. Zhang!" My father was still struggling to explain to his mother: "You know, listening to Nanyang major tunes was the only spiritual enjoyment I had when I was a child. When I was in Yanda University, I saw some music passed down from the Ming Dynasty in "Bai Xue Yi Yin" edited by Mr. Zheng Zhenduo. The famous repertoire is actually a joke that was still being sung by country artists when I was a child. You say, why not collect these repertoires when we lost our books, lost our desks, and happened to be in exile in Nanyang with nothing to do, so that future generations What about the sigh of rebirth of 'Guangling San'?" I don't remember how my parents reconciled. The peachy incident that the bomb exploded was confusing and confusing, and it was only because people repeated it for a long time that it was stored in my childhood memory.Today, sixty years later, I am no longer able to conduct research on this major historical mystery to make an accurate judgment.The "little black donkey" quoted above definitely exists.When I thought of the little black donkey just now, the bottom drawer of the bookcase made a "thumping" noise, like the sound of hooves being scratched.I took out a stack of vertically written manuscripts from the drawer, which was "Guzi Qucun" recorded by my father sixty years ago.From the manuscript with yellowed handwriting, a still young and cheerful "Little Black Donkey" suddenly jumped out. I remember my mother said that Aunt Xue was her junior classmate when she was studying at H University.In Kaifeng, the provincial capital, her home is only one street away from mine.Before we escaped from Kaifeng, as long as she burst into the door like a gust of wind, all the pots and pans in my house would follow her.She can sing British songs that no one can understand, and she can sing "Looking Through the Autumn Waters, I Can't See the Beauty of Yiren", which her mother can sing along with, and she can even sing that the intellectuals disdain to sing, she insists on holding other people's cigarettes with her fingers and She pretended to be dozing off and sang the song "Fireworks That Girl Sings the First Song". What's more, it was amazing that she could whistle very beautifully, and when she pushed her lips, colorful threads would flow from her like flower buds. Trembling out of his lips, strands of colorful strands linger in the small courtyard, and the old pagoda trees are also noisy, and the courtyard is filled with the fragrance of pagoda flowers. One night, Aunt Xue came to my house crying.Her mother was also crying with her.Later, my mother took me to see her.In her living room, I saw a photo of her with an officer, framed in black.The officer in the photo is young and handsome, with two thick black sword eyebrows.Aunt Xue tilted her head on his shoulder delicately, unwilling to lift it up.My mother said that he shot down two Japanese planes and his plane was also hit by the Japanese.He parachuted and landed on the devil's position, killed two surrounded devils with a pistol, and left the last bullet for himself.The father sighed and said: "They have been married for less than three months!" The mother said: "How can there be three months? After three days of marriage, we parted!" Another day, when my mother was not at home, Aunt Xue came as usual.Her hair was fluffed up, and she pouted her mouth inadvertently, but no whistle came out.She hugged me from my father, added a word "small" in front of my father's name, and said to me: "Little Zhang Cong, tell me to kiss you!" I kissed my face, looked in the mirror again, looked at the lip-shaped lipstick printed on my face, frowned, expressed regret and said: "Oh, it's definitely not a cherry mouth!" But smiled relievedly, "But , like a water chestnut!" He looked at my father sideways, "Tell me, is this water chestnut good?" My father froze for a moment, nodded and said, "Okay, very good!" She put me on the ground, closed her eyes, He raised his chin and said, "Come here, eat this water chestnut." There was a flash of fire in the father's eyes but it went out in an instant, and he said, "Jia Baoyu should be called. He likes to eat women's rouge, and of course he also likes to eat women's meat." Lipstick." Aunt Xue said coquettishly, "Where is lipstick? I just chewed betel nuts from the south. It's sweet and sour!" She approached my father, closed her eyes again, and pouted her lips, "Come here and smell it. It smells good!" There was a flash of fire in my father's eyes again, his nose sniffed, and he backed up and said, "Oh, it smells so good!" Aunt Xue glanced at my father with the whites of her eyes, and said bitterly, "Huh, don't pretend I know, it’s just that I don’t have that beauty mole on the corner of my mouth.” As he spoke, a tear fell tremblingly.Father hurriedly handed over a handkerchief and said, "It's all your fault for being picky and picky. Do you know how many outstanding men are crazy about you?" Come down, turn around and say: "Bah, there is not a single good thing!" In Nanyang, I slept with Aunt Xue.Aunt Xue put a mouthwash cup that lost her ear on the bedside table and made it her vase, letting a rose without green leaves bloom in full bloom with thorny loneliness.The roses are eye-catching, evil, and seductive, which made me smell ominous.Aunt Xue's plump body exudes an intoxicating fragrance. It was a body that left me with strange sensations and burning memories. Every night before going to bed, Aunt Xue would wash me in a big bathtub.Her fingers inadvertently grabbed the "little dick", and "little dick" would perk up.She just laughed "chih", tapped it with her finger, and said, "Be honest, if you don't have a bigger teapot spout, you'll be stuck thinking about your wife!" She took a bath for me, and put I put it on the bed, put prickly heat powder on my neck, armpits, and thighs, covered my belly and navel with a towel, looked out the window into the night, drew the curtains tightly, and turned down the kerosene lamp. Nian'er, dimming the light in the room, warned me, "Little one, don't look at me!" Her warning always aroused the opposite desire in me.She didn't seem to care whether I accepted her warning or not, so she stripped herself naked, exposing her ivory skin, round peach-shaped breasts, flat and plump belly plain to the eyes of a boy .Those are a pair of eyes that only know curiosity but don't know how to appreciate the opposite sex.Memory showed its worth after years of accumulation and began to pay me inexhaustible reveries and searing, always unruly restlessness. I can clearly remember her special way of bathing and the details repeated to me many times: she put a small bench in a big bathtub, and sat naked on the small bench, like sitting in a small lake On the small isolated island in the center, I splashed water on my body with a blue checkered towel, put a thick layer of soap called "fragrant soap" on the towel, then took out a small bench, and stood naked in the bathtub, The dim light outlines her rounded outline, like a goddess sculpted out of suet jade standing on a lotus leaf and looking up from afar.She often puckers her lips and whistles at this time, and I can see colorful threads winding around the cabin.She gently rubbed the neck and the high breasts, and the round peach-shaped breasts vibrated in the white foam, like a pair of plump white doves flapping their wings.Next, she picked up the two ends of the towel with her fingers, bent her arms behind her back and pulled them back and forth, twisting her back and shoulder blades up and down lively; then she turned the towel upside down and wiped her two lotus root-shaped arms and legs in turn. Armpits with abundant armpit hair.Then, she moved the towel to the twisting waist from time to time, and then down, and began to caress the plain of the abdomen, leaving a corner under the lower abdomen, sliding to both sides, and grooming the hips on two graceful curves, She stroked a raised arc backwards, which was her full and strong buttocks.After she wiped her round thighs and slender ankles, raised one foot in turn, rubbed each toe and toe crevice with her fingers, rinsed another pink towel in another basin of clear water, Start washing the corner between the lower abdomen and the thigh.Her rubbing there often caused her eyes to close, a rouge-like blush to appear on her cheeks, and her diamond-shaped lips parted.In the end, she still stood in the bathtub, bent her waist, stretched out her arms lazily, picked up a gourd ladle, scooped up the clear water in a foreign iron bucket, and washed it down her shoulder blades and neck. Every time she rushed, she would shudder violently and let out a happy scream. Finally it was time for her to go to bed.Like most northern women of that era, she didn't wear pajamas or a bra, just a loose undershirt and a pair of short floral trousers.I always wait for her to go to bed, and let her sleep with her arms around me like an old lady in Kaifeng. I have to hold one breast with one hand and suck the other nipple in my mouth to sleep soundly.On the first night, as soon as I got into her arms, she shivered in shock and pushed me away abruptly.My hands and mouth are again through the undershirt.She slapped the back of my hand and cursed: "Fuck!" I felt aggrieved and prepared to cry in protest.She stroked me again and said, "Good children don't cry." I said, "I want to be a godmother." She said, "I am a godmother." I put my head into her arms, and started my persistent love again Search.She scolded my father again and added the word "little": "Little Zhang Cong, you are so bad!" But she lifted the sweatshirt to me.I grabbed one breast tightly and wrapped it around the other nipple, which was full and swollen. She let out a strange moan and hugged me tightly in her arms. Those are another pair of breasts that are completely different from those of Laoganniang.The old Ganniang's breasts are shriveled, like two sacks that have been emptied.Aunt Xue's breasts were huge, full and elastic, trembling against my cheeks, and I completely forgot about the old lady.I'm a hopeless boy with a natural tendency to worship big breasts and grab them with my tiny hands before I'm too gender-conscious.Aunt Xue groaned softly, pressed her hand on mine, said "Oops" from time to time, and then cursed "Little Zhang Cong, you are so bad!" I.The breasts blocked my nose and I couldn't breathe.I just used my nose to find the cleavage, where there was a soft channel that allowed me to breathe air and body fragrance.I held the plump and swollen grapes in my mouth, and held the big round peach, but ruthlessly left Aunt Xue behind, and fell asleep on my own.When I woke up, one of my little feet was often caught by Aunt Xue in the corner of her lower abdomen.The corner was sultry and humid, with barren weeds growing in clusters. From then on, even in the daytime, I followed Aunt Xue closely like a shadow.I moved from the provincial capital to Nanyang's university and middle school, but I didn't settle down. Aunt Xue had enough time to spend energy on me, and even sewed some new clothes for my brother who had just turned one month old.She complained to my mother: "I'll take care of you when you give birth, what are you trying to do?" My mother said: "You want to be a mother. A twenty-six-year-old woman should be a mother, but you have to find a good son-in-law, right?" !" Aunt Xue said, "I can't find it, I can only touch it." Then she bit her lip with her beautiful canine teeth, "Hmph, I have to meet someone who can make me fall in love and make me die!" But she always looked at my father with resentful eyes.Every night, she would put her arms around me, call me "Little Zhang Cong", and tolerate my ruthless tossing; in the daytime, it seemed that "Big Zhang Cong" took advantage of her and refused to talk to my father when she saw her. Reasonable.My father was going in and out of teahouses and restaurants in a crazy way, met artists and song friends, only drank green tea and never drank alcohol, looked for the more vulgar "Little Black Girl" and "Stealing Pomegranate", and the more elegant "The Ancient City Club" and "Daywood" Jade Sad Autumn".Aunt Xue squinted at my father’s hurrying figure, and said in a foreign tone: “Miste Zhang, the mountains and rivers are broken, and the country is in crisis, you still have such a high spirit of elegance?” My father said: “Miss Xue, you I teach English, you should understand, I am looking for the little Shakespeares of Nanyang folk, and collecting their 'sonnets', which is the salvation of folk culture." Aunt Xue's cat's eyes opened and closed, and she let my father go contemptuously, and suddenly, she caught a mighty and tall officer. She lazily took my hand and walked through the barracks. An officer followed up like a shadow, sometimes in front and sometimes behind, staring blankly at Aunt Xue with intoxicated eyes and an infatuated expression.At the gate of the small courtyard, Aunt Xue looked back at the officer abruptly. "Excuse me, sir, what did you find out about me and this boy?" The officer touched his heels with a "snap" and gave a military salute, "Miss Report, nothing has been found." "Then why do you keep staring at me like a stalker?" "Because...not because of...but also because...you look like my cousin." Aunt Xue looked at him with her head tilted, "Do you still have to salute when you see your cousin? And use your left hand!" 军官把塞在裤兜里的半截袖筒抽出来，“报告小姐，我没有右手了。” “右手呢？” “丢在台儿庄了。” “啊，对不起！但我好像不是你的表妹。” “是的，我也把表妹弄丢了。” "how?" “丢在关外了，小姐。” 薛姨的长睫毛扑闪了一下，发出一声悠长的叹息，“啊！你会找到她的，再见！” 军官依旧痴痴地望着薛姨一动不动，黄军装上的铜扣子也都惶惶地瞪圆了眼睛。我跟着薛姨走进小院，又回过头来看他。他依旧像钉子一样钉在门外发呆。薛姨带着我走进小屋，推开窗子向他招手一笑，又合上窗子，贴在窗玻璃上偷偷望着他说：“傻孩子！” 早晨，从小屋窗口塞进来一个粉红色的信封。 傍晚，薛姨把我带到白河岸边，悄然上了河堤。 河堤两旁的柳树伸出茂密的枝叶，使长长的河堤变成了一条绿色的穹窿，低垂的柳丝上挂着蝉的叫声。我随着薛姨在绿色的穹窿里东张西望，忽地在河堤里边的斜坡上看到了那个独臂军官。他已经采集了一束鲜艳的野花，正用牙齿紧咬着一根青藤，脖子像弹簧一样一伸一缩，配合着手的动作，把那束野花捆扎起来。他伸缩脖子的动作显得滑稽而笨拙，却又表现出一个肢体残缺者努力把事情做好的热情和任性。薛姨忍不住叹了一口气。军官受到惊动，惊喜地望着薛姨，脚下却打了一个趔趄，跌倒在河堤的斜坡上。但他倒下去时仍旧高举着一束野花，如同高举着不容倒下的战旗，一个“鲤鱼打挺”就跳了起来。 军官惶恐地鞠了一躬，把野花送给了薛姨，“我几乎失望了，以为你不会来了。” 薛姨在花束上闻了一下，“那么，这束花就不是为我采的了！” “啊，不！”军官急忙说，“我每采一朵花，都要在心里叫一声……” “叫一声什么？” “叫一声……”军官胆怯地望了一下薛姨，“快来啊，小月亮！” “你很会讨人喜欢！” 薛姨脸红了，矜持地朝他一笑，便把我夹在他俩中间，开始了漫长的散步。 那天的月亮一点儿也不算小，甚至可以说是一个无与伦比的大月亮。当它冒出地面的时候，薛姨和军官已经慢悠悠地在河堤上走了很久，薛姨的嘴巴开始变成了月牙儿的形状，不时发出轻脆的笑声，可以看见洁白的牙齿在薄暮里闪光。军官也不再显得惊慌失措，但他一旦镇定下来就不堪忍受在他俩中间夹着我这个不大不小的障碍，不知什么时候绕到了薛姨的另一边，与薛姨肩挨着肩，如薛姨挂在开封客厅里的那张照片。 我不时仰起脸望着他和薛姨。薛姨已经忘记了我的存在，好像谈论着一个与军官的表妹相关的话题。我为了薛姨对我的遗忘感到嫉妒和悲伤，就抱着薛姨的腿报复说，我累了，我走不动了。军官急忙跑过来抱我。薛姨却让我靠着一棵柳树坐在草地上，把野花放在鼻子上使劲闻了一下，说：“哎呀，这花儿好香啊！闻闻花儿就不知道累了，你看，要这样闻。”她把花儿遮在脸上，鼻子插在花束里，夸张地吸溜着鼻子，又把花儿交给我说：“好了，开始闻吧！”我就把脑袋扎在花束里，开始了持久不懈的深呼吸。我感觉到了由鼻子哧溜一下直抵肺腑的香气，便有了朦胧的睡意。但是在我的背后，离我有两棵树的距离，薛姨与军官又在继续着与表妹有关的话题。 “我有你表妹那样高吗？” “你好像比她矮一点儿。” “不对，我真想跟她比一比！” “她跟我比过，她够得着我的下巴颏儿。” “来呀，我也要跟你比一比，我够得着你的鼻子尖儿。来嘛，转过来呀！” 薛姨高大而窈窕。我希望她的头顶应该达到比军官的鼻子尖儿更高一些的地方，就从花束里钻出脑袋。我看见薛姨和军官的影子印在刚刚升起的月亮上，薛姨贴近了军官，一动不动地向他微仰着脸庞；军官的脑袋缓缓地向薛姨勾下来，薛姨忽地凑上去，月亮打了个哆嗦，两个影子就陡地粘在一起，贴在浑圆如玉的大月亮上。大月亮明丽如画，令人目眩神迷。花束里冒出了蒙汗药的香气。他俩的影子从月亮上仰了下去。 当月亮爬上柳梢头的时候，他们又在继续着关于表妹的话题。 “说呀，我比不比得上你的表妹？” “小傻瓜，我压根儿没有表妹，你是我的惟一。” 薛姨用拳头连连捶打着军官，“哎呀，你真坏！” 再后来，薛姨常常把我还给母亲，一个人悄悄出去，回来得很晚，脸上带着微醉的红晕，又“啾儿啾儿”地吹起了口哨。晚上，她把我接到她的小屋以前，还要把我母亲拉到小院里小声说话。母亲说：“可惜少了一条胳膊！”薛姨说：“哎呀，一条胳膊就叫我透不过气了！”她闭上眼，胸脯起伏着，做出喘不过气的样子，还一左一右地扭着脖子，好像在躲避接连不断的袭击，撒娇说：“好怕人的哩！”母亲就格格地笑。 她的同事望着她的背影说：“嘿，真浪！” 夜里，我被异样的响声惊醒了，一时弄不清自己是睡在什么地方。黑暗里，木床在吱吱嘎嘎地响动，急促的喘息、呻吟声和梦魇般的低语搅在一起。“不行……宝贝儿……等它干净了……我都给了你……别……别吓住孩子……”眼前一片漆黑，声音没有着落地漂浮在空气里。我的手触摸到了冰凉、光滑的竹篦，才发现自己被移在平时堆放衣物的小竹床上，盖着一件陌生地冒着汗味的衣裳。我触摸到了冰凉的铜扣和硌手的领章。空气中又飘来喘息、吸吮、咂嘴的声音。我忽地产生了说不明白的惊恐和悲伤，哭叫说：“你走吧，你走！”声音陡然停止了，又传来光脚板拍打地面的声音。黑暗中，一条光溜溜的胳膊把我揽在汗淋淋的怀里。我又感觉到了薛姨滚烫的体温，闻到了薛姨特有的带着一点儿酒味和奶油味的体香。“你快走，吓住孩子了！”她对黑暗说。黑暗里传来了粗嗄的呼吸和绵软的叹息。盖在我身上的衣服被人揭去了。一个粗糙的大手掌在我的脸蛋上搓了一下，又在我屁股上拍了一下。屋门“吱呀”一声叫，一片月光钻进来，一个高大的身影忽闪了一下，又与薛姨乳白色的身影融在一起。小风摇响了门搭，黑影就陡地跳到了门外。薛姨柔声说：“宝贝儿，下一次给你噢！”门又“吱呀”一声叫，小屋归于黑暗。 薛姨把我抱回大床上，问我：“小不点儿，你听见什么啦？”我说：“他欺负你！”薛姨“吃”地笑了，又问：“他是谁？”我说：“是坏蛋。”薛姨又“哽儿哽儿”地笑着，“不对，他是你姨父，懂吗？我就要跟他走了，去很远很远的地方。”我就抱紧了薛姨。 薛姨的心情很好，就是拉响警报的时候，她也要向天上“啾儿”地吹一声口哨，如同逃难路上从我头顶掠过的一声冷枪。南阳的警报也像开封的警报一样人，像一头隐身怪兽捏着鼻子在天上飞来飞去地嚎叫。我们和薛姨一起逃出闹市。经过军营时，薛姨一边跑，一边指着营房对母亲说：“他要去接受国外援助的军用物资，我作为他们的译员跟他一起走。”母亲抱着弟弟上气不接下气地跑着，“你也要穿军装吗？”她挺了一下胸脯，“那当然！” 我们钻进了防空洞。那是在一道黄土岗上挖出来的小小的窑洞，洞口覆盖着灌木和野草，中国的蛐蛐儿正在无所畏惧地鸣叫。鬼子的飞机却像一只嗡嗡叫的老苍蝇由远而近。薛姨拨开树枝，把脑袋伸出洞口，尖着嗓儿报告消息，一会儿说：“来了，来了，看见翅膀上的'红膏药'了！”一会儿说：“转圈儿了，黑老鸹转圈儿了！”母亲说：“快进来，用不着你放哨！”正说着，飞机发出铺天盖地的啸音扑下来，蹭着头皮犁过去，天上打了一个黑闪，留下瞬间的沉寂，接着是沉雷般的爆炸声。防空洞上的虚土扑簌簌地落下来。薛姨又在洞口喊叫：“好，好！扔到河滩里了。我要拾几块炸弹皮，打几把好快刀！”老苍蝇的嗡嗡声再次由远而近。父亲说：“女英雄，你再不进来，就是故意跟一位中国军官闹别扭了！”薛姨寻衅地望着父亲，没好气地说：“张先生，你赶好你的小黑驴儿就是了……”话未完，飞机又啸叫着俯冲下来。薛姨忽地望着洞外，大声呼喊：“喂！往这儿跑，快，快往这儿跑！” 一个蓝色的身影闪动着，迎着阳光跑过来。从漆黑的洞口望出去，可以看见刺目的阳光照在一张苍白的脸上。那是一个身材窈窕的年轻女子。她惊慌地拎着黑裙子，在毫无遮拦的麦茬地上向这边跑着。近了，我觉得在哪里看见过她。更近了，我看见了一张在书中夹着的照片上看过多次的瓜子脸。当薛姨把她迎进洞口的时候，我在她的唇角上看见了一颗显眼的黑痣。紧接着，一群黑鸟嗖嗖地越过洞顶，在她刚刚跑过来的麦茬地上溅起了一溜儿土烟儿，如同水面上噗噗地喷着水泡。 洞口里的眼睛都惊骇地望着这个女子。她背靠洞壁站着，急骤的呼吸使她的胸部不停地起伏。她一边惊慌四顾，一边哆哆嗦嗦地在胸前绞拌着瘦长的手指。她的眼睛终于适应了洞内的黑暗，目光忽地凝聚在我父亲、母亲的脸上，好像陡地被烫了一下，发出一声没有完成的惊叫，又转身跑出了洞口。老苍蝇正在头顶盘旋。她磕磕绊绊地奔跑在麦茬地上，被麦茬绊了一跤，滚翻在地堰底下，像一只折断了翅膀的小鸟。母亲大声地责备父亲：“你应该请她留下来！”父亲用同样大的声音说：“这句话应该由你来讲！”薛姨恼怒地望着我父亲，“你怎么还有心思吵架？你保护女人的本能哪里去了？”她不顾一切地冲出洞口，一边向地堰那边奔跑，一边大声喊叫：“宛姑娘，不要动，我来了！” 飞机扔下了一颗炸弹，一座楼房变成了一支浓烟滚滚的火炬。老苍蝇再次飞临头顶，薛姨却从地堰下边跳出来，撒野地向军营那边喊叫：“开炮呀，快给我开炮呀！你们的高射炮哪里去了？”黑鸟再次从头顶掠过，麦茬地里又在“噗噗”地喷着土泡儿。薛姨好像被鞭子猛抽了一下，身子震颤着摊开了双臂，浓密的头发如黑色的火焰飘起来，好像要腾空飞去，却又被无形的力量牵引着，仰脸跌倒在麦茬地上。父亲扔下我，疯了似地冲出洞口。母亲紧紧地抱着弟弟，晕倒在防空洞里。 解除警报的时候，麦茬地里挤满了表情麻木的人群。薛姨无声地躺在烧焦了的麦茬上，胸前的月白布衫上绽开了火红的玫瑰。我能认出来，是插在漱口杯里那一朵红得邪火、红得不怀好意的野玫瑰。一只黑蛐蛐儿从草叶里蹦到她羊脂玉一样的脸颊上，颤颤地翘起了油亮的触须，触动她长长的睫毛。睫毛已不再生动地一开一合，好像收不拢的扇面低垂下来，在她眼睑上画了两个半圆的阴影。唇角长着黑痣、名字叫宛儿的女子跪在薛姨身边，扯起黑裙子掩面哭泣。父亲垂着脑袋像是垂下一块铁青色的石头，用一条洁白的被单蒙住了薛姨。小风簌簌地撩动被单，薛姨披着洁白的披风消逝在遥远的天际。 独臂军官从浓烟那边跑来，脸上抹着横一道、竖一道的黑烟子，军衣上撕裂的许多破口惶惶抖动着三角形的小旗。他惊恐地掀开了被单的一角，就发出一声撕心裂肺的惨叫，忽地用左手拔出手枪，向天上连连射击。子弹在天顶迸裂，天穹上麻麻花花落下了破碎的雨滴。 薛姨离去以后的日子天昏地暗。 我再次感觉到了两个我的存在：一个我扒在小屋的窗口上寻找薛姨。但我找不到只有在充分成熟的女性肉体上才能找到的那种炽热、醉人的体香了，却闻到了五月端午点燃艾草的苦味。另一个我却从我身上分离出来，手扯着薛姨的披风，在昏沉的云朵上随风飘荡。名字叫宛儿的女子也用她瘦长的手指牵着披风的一角，黑色的裙裾伴着洁白的披风，掠过冰冷的星星和一个大而浑圆的月亮。黑丝绒一样的天幕上，一对丰满的白鸽在飞翔。 我从云朵上跌落下来的时候，南阳城郊的黄土岗上已经增添了一座新坟。听说是宛儿的父亲买下了这块坟地，请来了一群和尚。和尚敲打着木鱼，“唧唧咕咕”地与坟头进行着神秘的低语。淡蓝色的香烟扭动着蛇样的细腰，缠绕在一棵被炸弹皮削去了半截的老树枝上。母亲和那个叫宛儿的女子在哭泣中相互依傍。父亲脸上刻着铁灰色的愤怒，点燃了一面纸做的“膏药旗”。纸灰在风中旋舞如黑色的蝙蝠。