Chapter 55 smoke cloud.8

It was past ten o'clock that night when Huang Yinian and his wife left Tao's house.Tao Zutai and his wife saw off the guests attentively until they were outside the gate.At this time Tao Zutai was completely the same as usual, and no one could believe that he "almost committed suicide" four hours ago; at this time, Tao Zutai and Mrs. Tao dared not say that they were not a happy and friendly young couple. At about half past ten, all the lights in Tao's house were turned off. The next day, Tao Zutai still went to work, only half an hour late.After sleeping all night, it seems that everything has been thrown into dreamland.

Mrs. Tao occasionally remembered what happened that night because of Mrs. Huang's caring inquiries, but it seemed that more than ten years had passed. However, except for Saturdays, Mrs. Tao felt that the days seemed like years.Tao Zutai's "off work" time is six o'clock in the afternoon, and it takes about twenty minutes to go home. If Mr. Tao does not come back by a quarter past six, Mrs. Tao will feel terrified.Sometimes a bloody corpse crushed into several pieces by train wheels would appear in front of her eyes, or a white wooden coffin so wet that it looked like it had been picked up from the water.

At that time, her heart beat violently, and the phantom disappeared. She rubbed her eyes, put her chin on her hand, and temporarily used her brain that she had never used in a serious way: "If you really do it, what should you do? Buy a quilt , buying coffins, collecting burials, - I can't handle these things! It's so annoying and troublesome! Also, I have to bring the baby back to Shanghai, and I have to bring the coffin back to Shanghai. I don't know how to deal with these things !" So her fear turned into anxiety, and she would think of her mother, whom she doesn't usually think of: "It would be great if Mom was here. She can do everything!" From her mother, she would also think of other " Relatives", so she also remembered a nephew of the house, a middle school student aged seventeen or eighteen, who went to a missionary school in Wuchang and had no contact with him on weekdays.

But the door rang, and Tao Zutai walked in slowly, definitely not bloody, not even wet clothes, Mrs. Tao's "terror" and "anxiety" dissipated, as if it had been more than ten years. At six o'clock the next day, these "terror" and "anxiety" still come again, but the onset seems to be weaker; because one more day is one day closer to "Saturday".On Saturday, there is a card game and Mr. Zhu. It's too lively, so the "terror" and "anxiety" naturally don't come. Tao Zutai is most afraid of Saturday, but his wife is most afraid of Monday.Sunday was a psychological watershed for the couple.

Mrs. Tao never told her husband her "fear" and "irritability".For one thing, she is not a woman who can "lyrize", and two, it is her nature to talk less, not to mention that it will cause her husband's eloquent speeches, which is even more afraid of her.As for Tao Zutai, apart from "preaching" to his wife, he would not use small talk to pry into his wife's mind.He is "studying" his wife all the time, but he never uses his mouth, he only uses his eyes.He absolutely trusted his eyes. After supper and before going to bed, it was time for Tao Zutai to concentrate on using his eyesight.I don't know which school of psychology he is based on. He believes that if a woman has "worries", she must reveal it at this time of the day.But Mrs. Tao was not afraid of him watching.She never went to bed first, nor urged Mr. Tao to sleep.Seeing that her husband did not speak, she also kept silent.She quietly arranges her favorite new clothes, or tries on a set of pajamas she recently bought as a sample, takes them off and folds them again and again (she seems reluctant to wear them off), she has done it all, and she sits down, and she goes back and forth again and again. yawn.

When she moved here and there, Tao Zutai's eyes always followed her.Sometimes the eyes of the two met, and Mrs. Tao would often let out a crisp smile, as if a child who was trying to avoid adults had been "discovered".But often because of her smile, Tao Zutai's "talking box" will be opened, and Tao Zutai will continue to "speech"-she is most afraid of this kind of thing, so she doesn't laugh unless she really can't help it. When she had to listen to Tao Zutai's "speech", she could listen patiently and kindly.But within five minutes, she dozed off.Once, Tao Zutai shook her shoulder blades to prevent her from dozing off, insisting on asking her:

"What do people live in this world for?" "Ah! I don't know, I never want to..." Mrs. Tao said pleadingly. "I'm so tired, I just want to sleep." "Sleep after talking." Tao Zutai was extremely stubborn, as if he forced his wife to read that book six years ago. "So—well," Mrs. Tao said in a low voice, her head lowered, as if she was about to doze off, but she suddenly raised her face, and she continued, "Is that right, you can criticize it tomorrow: people Living in the world, eat a little when you have to eat, wear a little when you have to wear, sleep when you are tired, and play when you are sleepy, there is no need to pay more attention to things and things.”

"Then you have no desires—is there nothing you must want, nothing you must do?" Tao Zutai asked solemnly, looking at his wife's face without turning his eyes. Madam also seemed to think about it seriously, shook her head slowly, but then said with a chuckle: "That depends on when it is! For example, when playing cards, I want to draw and win money! At this moment, I just want to sleep!" "Oh—" Tao Zutai was at a loss for words.