Chapter 2 two

The "Privilege Room" is a long and narrow room with a pair of windows; outside the window is a small yard that is not full of the abbot - this is called "patio" in Su Xinjia's hometown. They are all wind and fire walls several feet high, like a "well", and then realized the beauty of the word "patio". For a long time, she recalled her school life before the summer vacation. At that time, she was still an indifferent , a "good student" who immerses himself in reading. If Ms. Su still has such a leisurely mood, it is because even though the "incident" is "unpleasant", she still has a sense of "novelty", especially because she asks herself to be open and aboveboard, and she is straightforward and confident.Miss Su was "invited" into this room when it was getting dark, and it has been almost twenty-four hours now.

Ms. Su has experienced the effect of time on people's mood this time.In the thirty hours or so since she lost her freedom, Miss Su's mood has changed three times.For the first five or six hours, she was like an enraged lion.In a "long" office, she was questioned repeatedly, and there was not a single sentence in her answer that was not barbed.Later, she was moved to a room that looked like a reception room, and the way she was treated changed.There are always as many as seven or eight people who come to "talk" to her in turn, as if they are afraid of neglecting her.However, Ms. Su's resentment was even worse, and she would retaliate against every guy who approached her and tried to pry something from her.This feeling of resentment lasted until he was "invited" into this "privileged room".At that time, her mood suddenly became peaceful.Knowing that her "incident" could not be solved quickly, and she had to prepare for "long-term resistance", she couldn't express any dislike for this "long and narrow cage".Her psychological fortitude and composure made her interested in this prison with a nice name.She felt tidy and simple about the crude equipment of the couch and chair, and felt amused about the surprisingly small "patio", and even deliberated on the exactness and elegance of the word "patio". The wooden grilles on the near-windows also don't think it's embarrassing.Only when she was about to sleep, when her fingers, and later her skin, touched the thin quilt, it felt damp and greasy, and there was always a strange smell that she was not used to, which aroused her "interest". A setback; as long as she could remember, she had never used someone else's bed, let alone a bed that anyone had used.But after a while she calmed down again, and fell asleep right away.

The third stage of emotional transformation begins in the morning.More precisely, it started with the so-called breakfast.It was about nine o'clock at that time, and she was leaning on the very greasy thin quilt, recalling the dreams she had at night, when she suddenly brought in breakfast.She felt that she was being disturbed and was not happy.Breakfast, too, is a "premium" meal full of contradictions, and contradictions are unreasonable and therefore unreal.It is a perception, nothing to criticize.At first she didn't want to eat it, last night she refused the chicken shredded noodles they got specially, but then she finally ate some.After this, she began to fidget, as if a poison called "restlessness" had been added to her breakfast.For a while she stood in front of the window, embed her face in the wooden grille on the window, and stared at the "Doufang" patio in a daze; The wooden chair stood up abruptly, thinking about the three-foot-wide bed (this is the kind of thing that is placed in the third-class ward in the hospital), but when her body just touched the so-called bed, she would rather put her face on it. Embedded in the wooden grille on the window, take a look at the green moss at the foot of the small "patio".

She thought: It would be nice if I could get some sleep.However, the degree of greasyness of the thin quilt and its accompanying strange smell seem to have increased in intensity over time.She threw the thin quilt far away in the corner of the room, but it was so tired and the strange smell had long been left on the bed, maybe the bed itself also had these two characteristics. She thought: It would be nice to have a book, even the most boring book, and a newspaper, even an old newspaper.Yet this impossible wish only deepened her restlessness. She also tried to sink herself into the memories of the past.But as soon as it started, it stopped again, as if recalling this thing, it had never been brought into this "special treatment room" at all.

She tried humming a few songs, but she hadn't finished humming one. She felt that her voice was unnatural, and the more she listened, the more her hairs stood on end. She wanted to scold, but she had no opponent.I want to laugh, but I can't.Want to cry, unwilling.Finally, I suddenly discovered that it was because of "loneliness".She sits up and down, this is not good, and that is not right, they are all struggling with "loneliness". But having discovered it, she ceased to struggle.In her short nineteen years of life, Miss Su has always lived a life full of flowers and flowers.Although I have shed tears in front of the sick bed of my relatives, I have been wronged by my female companions, I have acted like a baby in my mother's arms, and I have shut myself up because I didn't get the first grade in a subject, but in the past year She was once confused and bored by too many men chasing her, but she really didn't know that there was a color of "loneliness" in the "full banquet" of life.She has no experience in fighting "loneliness".

Now, as if she had discovered a new enemy but hadn't figured out its character so she couldn't take the liberty to challenge it, Miss Su was able to calm down a little.She was able to think calmly.She compares yesterday to today and notices a fundamental difference.Yesterday, she was questioned repeatedly in that "chief" office, and later in that reception room-like room for five hours, people kept "hacking" her, using threats, coaxing, flirting with her fellow countrymen, talking about worldly friendships, and being popular. Faces, black faces, the faces of clowns with a pinch of white powder on the tip of their noses, all kinds of colors, endless, it is simply a "war of wheels", but today is different.Breakfast and lunch were delivered today, but the person who delivered the food was not so much a living person as a shadow.Today, the bare walls, one couch and one chair are fighting a "dumb battle" with Miss Su.

Yesterday Miss Su hated the various faces that appeared in front of her week in and day out; yesterday she felt that this was an insult to her—as if she was a monster that fell from Mars, and they had a mission The "experts" in the school take turns to "appreciate" or "identify".Now Miss Su is looking forward to their arrival.If they come, Miss Su is going to treat them as the evil ghosts in the lowest level of hell, and also come to "appreciate" or "appraise" them—at least, she has someone to scold. Some "expectation" is a weapon against "loneliness", if not the most effective weapon.Miss Su has used this weapon since about three o'clock in the afternoon.She waited, she listened for the slightest possible knock at the door. ...

The sky in the small "patio" gradually darkened, and the room gradually became indistinguishable.Miss Su, who was sitting on the wooden chair crossing her legs, leaned against the back of the chair with her left arm bent, and buried half of her face in the crook of her elbow. Her heart was empty, whether she was thinking or not.Suddenly, the electric light above her head was turned on, Miss Su's body shook slightly, and almost at the same time as the light was on, there was a knock on the door.Miss Su jumped up suddenly, turned her face to look anxiously, the door opened, and a figure flashed; leaps at the person who enters.

"Hey, it's you!" Without giving the man a chance to speak, Miss Su lowered her arms and pressed the scalded nose of the plane to her chest, calling out in succession: "Jiexiu, Jiexiu, my Jiexiu!" Tears flowed unconsciously. When Yan Jiexiu wrestled his head out of Miss Su's embrace, the two of them half-walked and half-scrambled to the other side of the bed.Ms. Su immediately offered the wooden chair with the legs attached to her friend, and pressed her to sit down, but she straddled her legs and stood in front of Jiexiu's knees, holding her face in both hands, with eyes still on her face. Weeping, but giggling endlessly in his mouth.

The two smiled at each other and looked at each other for a long time. Finally, it was Yan Jiexiu who spoke first: "Xin Jia, you startled me, you seem to be acting." Miss Su kept kissing Jiexiu's face and forehead, and then said: "You don't know how uncomfortable I was holding back this day!" "They hit you?" "No." "scold you?" "No. Instead, I scolded them heartily!" Jiexiu smiled: "I also scolded them just now." "Which one are you scolding? The cat-faced one?" "seems not." "Is it the boss, or the crab legs?"

"I don't know what they are. They wouldn't let me in, they asked for a business card and my address; I just scolded them." "They also want me to provide my name, resume, and address; I don't even do so. Which law am I scolding them for? I'm not a prisoner!" Jiexiu laughed again: "But I'm different from you. I scolded them for not having eyes, and they don't even know me, Miss Yan, so why bother!" "Ah!" Miss Su couldn't help laughing. "Jiexiu, you have a hand." "There's more! I opened the door and asked for someone." Miss Su's eyes widened, unable to comprehend this sentence for a while. "I just want people. I want Su Xinjia to be released on bail! I asked them: Is it possible to be appointed as an official? If not, it is also very convenient to find a special officer." Miss Su changed her standing position, put half of her buttocks on Yan Jiexiu's knee, and put her left arm around Jiexiu's waist. "They stared at me for a long time, and then said that the section chief is gone, and they can't make decisions. I asked them to find the section chief, and a guy came out and said that even if the section chief came, he couldn't make decisions." "That's right," Miss Su sighed softly, "The one with a cat face, maybe he can make the decision." "I don't care about cats and dogs, I'm just trying to make trouble." "But, Jiexiu, what if they really ask you for a short-term official?" "Of course I am prepared," Jiexiu smiled mischievously, "My uncle just arrived today, and he is a short-term official." "Have you talked to Uncle?" "Not yet. But I have a way. I'll pull Grandma out and crush him with Grandma's big hat." "What if the brief appointment fails? Do you have a special official?" "We can't talk about it now. Xin—don't be too busy, listen to me. I made a fuss for a while, and saw that those guys really couldn't make up their minds, so I changed my course. I want to see people. Well, those guys should I was scolded. I scolded them: You bastards! Just now, Central Committee Yan——Xin, look at me, I made my uncle a “CPC”——Central Committee Yan called your section chief just now The phone call, didn’t the section chief tell you? Well, where’s the phone number in the section chief’s mansion? I’ll talk to him personally.” "Finally the call didn't ring?" Miss Su hurriedly interrupted and asked. "No." Jiexiu smiled, "But, I opened your door by scolding me." As she spoke, she kissed Miss Su on the face. "Ah, what a good Jiexiu!" Miss Su suddenly jumped up and hugged Jiexiu again, "You really have skills! My sister!" "Xin—don't be busy!" Miss Yan got out of Miss Su's embrace, but hooked her neck with her backhand, "Look! What is this?" Miss Su took a look, only to find that there was still a small bundle at Miss Yan's feet.She reached out to pick it up.But Jiexiu snatched it away, jumped to the front of the bed, untied a corner of the bundle and took out the things one by one, singing while doing so: "This is for wearing, this is for covering, this is for washing, This is for wearing, this is for use!" When Jiexiu sang, Miss Su laughed for a while.Suddenly she snatched the woolen blanket, hugged her chest, and sighed: "Oh, my good blanket, it's so good of you to come!" Miss Su went to check those used ones again, and asked, "Jiexiu, did you bring a mirror?" "I'm afraid not." Miss Su was a little disappointed, she turned to Jiexiu and said, "Xiu—show me, is there any scar on my face?" "Ah, that's terrible!" Jie Xiu deliberately pretended to be surprised, "What's going on? pity! " Miss Su got up in a hurry, grabbed Jiexiu and asked, "What's there? Is it red or purple? -I was half asleep and half awake last night, and I always felt that there was something small crawling all over my body. In the morning, both sides of the face always feel tense and itchy, hey, as expected...Xiu, what is it? Why are you silent?" Jiexiu held back her laughter, touched Miss Su's cheek, and kept saying, "What a pity, what a pity," but didn't answer.Suddenly he shouted again in surprise: "Xin—ah, take off your clothes and let me have a look." "Don't look. I don't have it on me." Miss Su was still very anxious. "Tell me quickly, what's on your face?" "No," Jiexiu couldn't help laughing, "let me see your breasts." After saying that, she forcibly unbuttoned Miss Su.At this moment, Miss Su felt that Jiexiu was being mischievous again, she broke free, and said angrily, "I'm in a hurry, you are joking, don't look at it!" "Then, shall I tell you what your face looks like?" Jie Xiu finally let out a laugh. "As you like!" Miss Su said without turning her face away. Seeing that Ms. Su was really angry, Jiexiu said truthfully, "No. Xin——his face is bald and white, nothing at all." Miss Su turned her face away and remained silent. "Don't you believe it?" Jiexiu turned Miss Su's face to her, "Okay, I'll bring you a mirror tomorrow. If there's anything wrong, I'll give you back your pretty face." Miss Su forced a smile, but remained silent. Jiexiu let go of her hand, turned around and went to the bed to dig out the bundle again, suddenly raised both hands, holding a kraft paper bag in the air, and shouted happily: "Xin—— guess, what is this?" Seeing Miss Su She still didn't care about it, so she had no choice but to stuff the paper bag into Miss Su's hand, and at the same time said in a singing tone: "This is—this is food!" Miss Su opened the paper bag and laughed happily.There are candies, beef jerky, tangerine peel plums, all her favorite snacks.She picked a piece of chocolate, peeled off the tin foil, and stuffed it into Jiexiu's mouth, saying to herself, "Ah, Mom is so thoughtful!" "Auntie didn't prepare this for you." Jiexiu said while chewing on the chocolate, "I bought this to comfort you." She said the word "consolation" very hard. Ms. Su looked at Jiexiu and made a grimace, as if to say: Don't brag, you are here to deceive people again. "Don't you believe it?" Jiexiu said seriously, "Auntie was injured in the big world today, we haven't dared to tell her that you were arrested!" "What?" Miss Su jumped up in surprise, and the candies were scattered all over the floor. "Xiu, are you telling the truth? What is Mom doing in the Great World? The Great World has taken in refugees. Could it be that Mom is going to do comfort work? And why did she get injured? It's nothing!" "It's a long story, all in all, irrelevant, a little scratch on the leg." When Jiexiu said it, her attitude was very serious, and Ms. Su couldn't help but believe it, but she still wanted to ask for details while picking up candies.At this moment, the door slammed and opened again, and a middle-aged man in a suit entered boldly. This man's face was exactly that of a cat. Miss Su could see clearly, so she pulled Jie Xiu, but she put on a straight face and turned her back towards the cat-faced man. The cat-faced man stopped in front of the two ladies, smiling slightly. Jiexiu sat on the bed next to Ms. Su, but pointed to the wooden chair with the legs connected and said to the cat-faced man, "Please! What's the matter? Sit down and talk!" The cat-faced man does not sit.Jiexiu's sophisticated and pompous tone seemed to surprise him.He fixed his eyes on Jie Xiu for a long time, and then asked with a faint smile, "Are you Miss Yan?" Jiexiu nodded. "Your father is Mr. Zhong Ping, the general manager of Guohua Machine Manufacturing Factory?" Jiexiu nodded again. "Miss Su is your classmate?" Jiexiu nodded for the third time, thinking in her heart: Now let's turn to the topic, let's see what he has to say. "And both of you joined the 'Min Xian'①?" -------- ① "Minxian" was organized after the "129" Movement of Peking students in 1935, and its full name is "National Liberation Vanguard". ——Author's original note. Jie Xiu was caught off guard by the cat-faced man's words, and was slightly taken aback, but Miss Su rushed to reply: "Didn't I already tell you yesterday, we don't know what 'Min Xian' or Guo Xian is?" "Where's Professor Chen Keming?" the cat-faced man asked again, his eyes fixed on the two ladies. "Don't you know?" "No!" As soon as Miss Su uttered this word, Jie Xiu secretly pinched her, and Miss Su shrank the following two words.But Jiexiu went on to say loudly: "Why don't you know each other! Professor Chen is a friend of Jia Yan's and Uncle Jia's." The cat-faced man smiled: "Oh, Miss Yan, I also know your father. We are old friends, so we can talk about everything." Jiexiu didn't answer, but asked instead: "What's your name?" "My surname is Hu. I'm Secretary Hu." "So, Secretary Hu, what did Miss Su do wrong, you arrest her?" "This is not an arrest," the cat-faced man smiled. This smile is like seeing a poisonous snake spit out a letter. "Is there such a 'freedom' after arrest? This is to invite Miss Su to talk about it. Unfortunately, she still doesn't understand. .” "But, Secretary Hu, please pay attention, Miss Su has been here for more than twenty-four hours!" "If she doesn't speak clearly, I'm afraid she will be wronged for a few more days." The cat-faced man replied coldly. "I have nothing to say, just do as you like!" Miss Su showed no sign of weakness. "The government asks people to abide by the law every day, but if they detain them for no reason, is this the government's law-abiding?" Jiexiu asked eagerly. "Of course it's not for nothing," the cat-faced man suddenly darkened. "I don't need to say it, Ms. Su understands it in her heart. The government wants to protect the young people, and they can't bear to use the law to punish them, so I invited Ms. Su to talk. It's a pity that Ms. Su didn't say a frank word when she came in yesterday." "Why not confess?" Miss Su asked sharply. "You say that I have a background and a role in the work of the Anti-Japanese War, but you can't produce evidence. Hey! I just know: whoever refuses to admit what you said indiscriminately, you will accuse him of not confessing! " "Secretary Hu, I can tell you frankly," Jiexiu rushed to say again, and smiled mischievously, "We have a background in the work of the Anti-Japanese War, and it also has a role..." "Haha!" The cat-faced man seemed to guess What Jiexiu said next must be sarcasm, so she quickly interrupted it with a loud laugh, "Hey, Miss Yan, you are a smart person and can talk, but today I am not here to have a debate with you,—" "Are you here to interrogate us?" Miss Yan interjected mischievously. "Not really." The cat-faced man smiled, and his attitude suddenly became gentle and amiable, "Today I will talk to you in a private capacity. Miss Yan, I know your father and uncle Ling. Miss Su, you It is the daughter of Dr. Su Zipei, and we also know it. You two are smart, capable, enthusiastic, and pure, and the government loves you so much. You voluntarily gave up your life of comfort and pleasure to do the work of the Anti-Japanese War. The government is exactly what the government wants. .The government led the Anti-Japanese War, and there were too few young cadres, not too many. Under the leadership of the government, you can do whatever you want; your future is bright.” The cat-faced man said the word "future" very loudly, and then changed the subject and his attitude became severe: "The government is determined to fight the war, and it is also determined to lead all the work of the war of resistance; to obey the leadership of the government is to truly support the war of resistance. The government must punish groups that do not obey the leadership of the government and have ulterior motives. Miss Su, you are enthusiastic about the work of the war of resistance, but you The group I joined had ulterior motives!" The cat-faced man's official accent, the two ladies were impatient to hear it, but his last sentence stuck to the old topic again. Both of them were slightly startled, and before they could speak, the cat-faced man went on to say: "The government spares no effort to protect the youth, but the government cannot ignore the responsibility of correcting young people who have gone astray! You have to understand the painstaking efforts of the government. Well, think about it!" After speaking, the cat-faced man turned around and left. As if forced to watch a clown's performance, the two ladies breathed a sigh of relief.Yan Jiexiu suddenly hugged Miss Su and laughed wildly.Ms. Su also smiled, picked a candy and put it in her mouth, and said to herself: "What kind of leader, the leader just does nothing!" Miss Yan was still laughing until another person walked in.The man solemnly handed the two pieces of paper to Miss Su, and said politely: "Please fill out this form, both ladies, it's handed over by Secretary Hu." Yan Jiexiu snatched the form to look at it, and looked up to call the person, but the person had already left.Yan Jiexiu angrily tore the form to pieces. "Why tear it up?" Miss Su said, picking up the pieces, "I want to see what it is!" "No need! This is a government-run group, and we were asked to go in and be led. But the hands of the leader of this group are covered with blood! The blood of the classmates of the 129 Movement!" After speaking, Yan Jiexiu stood up, stared at Miss Su for a while, and suddenly said: "Xin——I should go back, come back tomorrow!" Ms. Su sent Ms. Yan to the door in silence, then walked back to the bed in silence, looked at the clothes, woolen blanket, and candies that Ms. Yan brought, and stroked each item gently, and then picked up the torn pieces. form.Just as I put the pieces together halfway, I suddenly heard someone arguing outside the door, the voice sounded like Jiexiu.Then, the door opened with a bang, and it was indeed Jiexiu who came in, the anger on his face hadn't dissipated. "What?" Miss Su ran to Jiexiu's side with small steps, and took her hand. Jiexiu remained silent for a while, then laughed, hugged Miss Su and said: "Think about it, I miss you, and I'm back again." "You're kidding!—you're detained too, aren't you?" "This is not detention," Jiexiu suddenly imitated the accent of the cat-faced man. "Will there be such a 'freedom' after being detained?" Suddenly she laughed, and then quickly continued with her own accent: "The guards are not Let me go. Said that people who come in here can't go out without a note. I scolded the cat face, but he hid. It's an old trick for me again: no one decides. Okay, if you can't go, I won't Let's go! Thinking of you being deserted alone, I can't bear to go!" "If you can't just let it go like this," Miss Su was extremely annoyed, "Why did you detain you again? Let's go and make trouble together!" "Why bother!" Jiexiu persuaded Miss Su with a smile, "Isn't it good for us to talk and laugh? It's worth getting angry!" She pulled Miss Su to sit down on the bed, and said, "I've already called home , Mom picked it up. After a while, Dad will pick us up by himself." Not quite daring to believe it, but having to believe it for the time being, Miss Su nodded her head, and leaned gently on Jiexiu's body.For a long while, neither of them opened their mouths. The room was very quiet. Miss Su could hear the beating of the two hearts, which were harmonious and even.There seemed to be someone walking around outside the room, making noises, like mice discussing to steal something.There was a moaning sound from a distance, which gradually turned into a scream, and then suddenly sank down again, followed by a gloomy silence. "Ah, I forgot to show you a letter," Jiexiu suddenly said in a low voice, "Zhao Kejiu, do you remember? ——The 129th Movement, when students from various universities in Shanghai went to Nanjing to petition to save the country, the students drove the train by themselves He was part of that group, and he also 'missed' back then. Look at what a dream he is having now!" After reading the letter, Miss Su was silent for a while, and then sighed: "The news in the countryside is too poor. Zhao Kejiu just read the newspapers, and thought that our place was really a war of resistance, and everything was renewed. Everyone has the freedom to save the country. I wish he could come and work with us right away. If he comes, he might join us; instead of working, he will go to prison and relive his old dreams again!" The distant moaning sound was faintly heard again.This time, it went up and down, intermittently, like a tortured life, although it has only one breath left, it still refuses to bow to violence, and moaning is his resistance. "I really don't know how you survived last night," Jiexiu whispered to herself, "Now you and I are two, but I already feel uncomfortable." Miss Su didn't speak, she hugged Jiexiu gently, and put her cheek against Jiexiu's cheek tenderly.Both hearts beat faster, becoming one voice.