Chapter 2 Chapter Two

1 Breath of Chenggang Town I returned to my hometown Chenggang Town three days later.The mad love and revolution started like a storm.Love and corruption, class and kinship, hatred and struggle, Neo Confucianism and the Cheng family, law and revolution, revolution and production, loyalty and ignorance, men and women, cocks and breasts, beauty and ugliness, food and hunger, fathers and children, Babies and mothers, men and wives, party secretary and secretary, handcuffs and rope, straw and gold, these things are all dichlorvos in the final analysis.The four seas are churning, the clouds are raging, and the five continents are shaking.If you let me leave this place alive, the first thing I do when I return to Cheng Gang Town is to take out my dick and urinate on the heads of those things, and shit on the heads of the revolutionaries in Cheng Gang Town.I have to talk about the historic and radiant Palou Mountains and Chenggang Town first.The Palou Mountains are a branch of the Funiu Mountains, starting from Chengjiagang in the east and ending at Baiguo Mountain in the west, winding for eighty miles, mostly low mountains and hills.Among the mountains, the mountains and valleys blend together, and the ridges and rivers meet. The altitude is between 250 and 400 meters. The land has steep slopes, terraced fields, river terraces, and ditch flats, totaling 34,000 mu.Among them, Luhun Mountain was the land of Luhunrong in the Spring and Autumn Period, and Luhun County was established in the Han Dynasty, which belonged to Lord Hongnong. It is clearly written in the county annals.Of course, the most famous place in the Palou Mountains is not Luhunling, but Chenggang Town, which is separated from the mountain by a river.Cheng Gang Town was originally called Cheng Village, but it wasn't just a random village; now it's called Cheng Gang Town, and it's not a scrappy little market town in the Palou Mountains.It is the former residence of Cheng Hao and Cheng Yi, the "second masters of Cheng" in the Song Dynasty.At the time of Renzong in the Yuan Dynasty, in order to commemorate the ancestors and saints, a temple was built in Chengcun. After six years of Ming Jingtai, this temple was repaired by others, and everyone added bricks and tiles to the feudal class, and the temple became Three-section compound: the front section has the Lingxing Gate, Chengjing Gate, Spring Breeze Pavilion, and Lixue Pavilion; the middle section has the main hall of the Taoist Academy and the second wing rooms of "Harmony and Sweet Rain" and "Scorching Sun and Autumn Frost"; in the back section, there is the Qixian Hall In the main hall, there are four lecture halls facing each other on both sides.The three-section compound covers an area of ​​tens of acres, with carved beams and painted buildings, flying dragons and phoenixes, forests of stone steles, towering pines and cypresses, in the final analysis it is a living teaching material of feudalism.During the Tianshun period of the Ming Dynasty, Cheng Village was granted the title of "Hometown of Two Chengs". A stone archway was built one mile away from the east of the village, with the words "Imperial Decree" engraved on it and the words "Hometown of Ercheng" engraved on the bottom.Because it was written by the holy god himself, and the road is upright, people must go out from this way, and people must go through this way, civil servants get off their sedan chairs when they pass by the square, and military officials get off their horses when they pass by the square, so this Cheng village is famous all over the world, it seems to be in the middle of the Palu mountain range in western Henan Tiananmen Square.The loess hill behind Cheng village is the east end of the Palou mountain range, so the hill near Yuzhanyu was called Chengjia hill. Later, the population of Cheng village multiplied and expanded, and they were connected with the families on the hill. When the village was transformed into a town, The two villages merged into one village and became Chenggang Town.89% of the people in Chenggang Town have the surname Cheng, and they are all descendants and grandchildren of Cheng Hao and Cheng Yi. People with the surname Gao live alone there, and they can live out a character like me, make a piece of the world, and be brilliant These years of brilliance and enthusiasm are unique in Chenggang town and in the history of the Cheng family, unprecedented and unprecedented.All this is thanks to the great revolution that was full of red.The exploited and oppressed people can only find a way out through revolution, and without revolution, they can only live in darkness.Xiongguan Road is really like iron, and now it is over from the beginning.Don't interrupt me, I won't change the topic from Dongshan to Xishan.Because the head of the county's People's Armed Forces Department was not at home for a meeting in the military division, I was asked to stay in the county for three full days in order to go through the withdrawal procedures.In those three days, I witnessed the great revolution in the county town.I feel that the huge wave of revolution is surging forward across the country with the power of thousands of troops and overwhelming momentum.I'm restless in the county seat.Cheng Gangzhen's revolution and love have been waiting for me for a long time.I went back to Cheng Gang Town immediately after completing the withdrawal procedures.When the 79-mile bus passed under the archway of "Two Cheng Hometown", my blood boiled, my palms sweated, and the excitement in my heart was the same as the inexplicable love three days ago by the suburban railway.I think the first thing I do when I get home is to smash down the "Two Cheng Hometown" stone archway.The old archway established by the feudal dynasty, hundreds of years later, the weddings, funerals and weddings of the people of Chenggang, passing by there, people have to get off the bus, play drums, and even long-distance buses pass under the archway, they also have to honk their horns three times to show Respect and admiration for Master Cheng.I didn't expect that the revolution had already swept across the land of China and all corners of the country.The bus driver from Jiudu was still honking his mother's ceremonial horn under the archway.I didn't say anything to the driver, the car was full of miscellaneous people.I know that as long as the archway is smashed, everything will be over, and the curtain of revolution will be opened.When I got off the bus at the station in Chenggang Town, the first sight I saw when I walked into my nose was the smell and rusticity of the town.The members of the commune were carrying grass dung to the wheat field to send topdressing fertilizer. They were pulled into a team, old and young, with some leisurely red and yellow faces on their faces.When they passed by, there was nothing left to do on the streets of the town. The chickens were digging the soil for food, and the landlubbers walked from one side of the street to the other with their fat buttocks.In the sunlight under a gable in the house of my classmate Cheng Qingdong, a sow fell asleep lazily, and a dog lay beside the pig, with its head resting on one of the sow's hind legs.What's even more amazing is that there is also a sparrow catching lice by flipping the pig's hair on the belly of the sow. This scene reminds people that this place is far away from the revolution, at least from Yan'an to Hainan Island.I felt a little inexplicable sense of loss, like stepping into winter from midsummer.Of course, there is also a warm and friendly feeling.I know everything in the country as well as a person knows his clothes, hands and feet.I hope that I can see something new and strange, such as a few big-character posters posted on the street, and someone wearing an armband walking past in a hurry.None of this, however.Everything is the same as before.Running water does not rot, and rotten water does not move. This is a pool of stagnant water.I just walked back to Chenggang Town in a pool of stagnant water.There are four streets in Chenggang Town, Chengjia Front Street, Chengjia Street, Chengjia Back Street and Miscellaneous Street behind Chengmiao.Needless to say, my house is of course on the side street behind the temple. The three earth tile houses on the west side of the side street, a corner of the earthen courtyard, and a single door opening to the south are just ordinary Gao's house.When I was about to reach the door, a child from the neighbor’s house saw me, smiled at me, and suddenly called to the door of my house: "Aunt Guizhi—your man is back——" and then turned to the door of Chengzhong Street. The other side ran away.Guizhi did not go out to greet me.When I pushed open the half-covered door, my daughter-in-law Guizhi was picking wheat in the yard.The baby Hongsheng is next to her, holding a willow branch and chasing the chickens and house sparrows to surround the pecking basket. The chickens, ducks, pigs, and dogs seen on the street look the same.In the lifeless mountainous sky, in the lifeless countryside, where is the revolutionary atmosphere?You also need to love the army to create a base.I stood in the courtyard with my luggage.Guizhi and the children turned their heads away when they heard the door slam, but she didn't stand up to pick up the luggage from me.Little did she know that standing before her was a future revolutionary and country statesman.She was slightly taken aback, smiled at me, and said, "You're back? Didn't you say you'd be home a few days ago?" I thought of the revolution in the city and the scene on the suburban railway, and said, "Delay in the city It’s time.” She said, “Go back to the house, what are you doing standing there!” Then she said, “Hongsheng, call your daddy—are you calling me? Dad.” The five-year-old Hongsheng didn’t call.Both he and Honghua looked at me timidly, as if I were not from this family.At this moment, I suddenly began to regret the demobilization and discharge.I remembered two sentences that leaders often said when I was in the army: the revolution has not yet succeeded, and comrades still need to work hard.Putting the luggage back into the room, I straightened the stools in the middle of the room to the boundary wall, opened the two rooms and took a look, and came out and said, "Where is my mother?" Said: "She wanted to be quiet, so she went back to live on the post." My heart suddenly exploded, like a grenade exploded in my chest.But I didn't say anything, just twisted my feet on the ground, went out and stood under the eaves, looking towards the hill behind the town, but only saw the grand Qixian Hall in the backyard of Chengmiao and Zhongjieyuan. A corner of the main hall of the Dao School.The wind chimes under the upturned eaves at the four corners of the hall rang clangingly and clearly across a courtyard wall.When I saw the Chengjia Temple, my heart sank slowly, and I decided that one day I would not only smash down the stone archway of "Two Cheng's Hometown", but also set fire to the temple. I want to burn down this temple, I want to burn down this temple and that stone archway for no reason.After four years in the army, I wanted to burn down this temple even more.At this time, the boy Hongsheng suddenly raised his face under me and called out "Daddy", and I felt a warm heartbeat and stroked his head.I said, "Call me Dad. Baby, everyone in the city is called Dad." Hongsheng shook his head at me.I said, "Then let's call him daddy... go, there is candy in the yellow bag in the house." With the candy, Hongsheng and Honghua kept calling daddy, like only daddy in the world. candy to eat.In those years, the candies were wrapped in red and thin glossy paper, and words such as fighting against selfishness and criticism were printed on the paper. When the children threw the candy wrappers beside the pig manure and chicken manure in the yard, I was in a hurry. Er picked up the candy wrapper and said don't throw it around, it's reactionary if it's on the outline.They couldn't understand me, so Guizhi turned her head and said, "This is the countryside, not your army." I wanted to tell her that the revolution in the county town was overwhelming, and I came back from the army just for the revolution, but When I saw her turn around to look at me, the disdain on her face was as thick as Cheng Temple's courtyard wall, so I had no choice but to swallow my words again.Besides, her face is that kind of black and red dusty color, as if it has never been washed, which reminds me of a scene on the suburban railway again, and the coldness makes me suppress all the thoughts of talking , suddenly didn't even want to look at her.I fixed my eyes on the corner of the eaves of Cheng Temple, which was raised high in the air.At this moment, the child who had just run towards the other side of the alley ran into my house again Leng Dinger and called: "Uncle Aijun—the branch secretary told you to go quickly." The wheat was dripping on the edge of the basin, as if she had forgotten a big thing, and was suddenly reminded by the child who entered the door. Her face was full of freshness and vividness, and she said loudly to me: " Go quickly, my father asked you to visit him as soon as you come back, and I forgot about it as soon as I washed the wheat." Then asked: "What did you bring to my father? He likes to eat the pastries in the city, and canned food. He also said: "Hongsheng, Honghua, go to see your grandfather with your father, ask him if he eats eggs and noodles, and I will bring them over for lunch."

2 A History of Marriage Outside the Revolution I didn't tell you that my father-in-law was also a revolutionary in Chenggang Township. He once delivered a letter for the Eighth Route Army one day. After liberation, he became the village party secretary.The dozen or so households in Chengjiagang were originally an independent production team, under the management of the Zhaozhuang brigade five miles away.At that time, Cheng Village was just a collection, the seat of the township office.The head of the township is Cheng Tianmin, a descendant of the 20th generation of the Cheng family.But in 1964, the government wanted to turn Chengcun into a town, which would have to expand Chengcun. So the township chief Cheng Tianmin and my father-in-law Cheng Tianqing held a meeting and decided to turn ten of Chengjiagang into towns. Several households with mixed surnames were included in Cheng Village, and Cheng Village complied with the above-mentioned policy of changing townships into towns.The people in Chengjiagang were all relocated from the post, and a row of houses was built in the field behind the Cheng Temple, and there was an extra street of mixed surnames, and they all became Cheng Villagers.As a Cheng villager, I became the son-in-law of the village secretary.That day, my mother and I were tidying up in the newly built tile house, and the old branch secretary came in slowly.He didn't sit on the stool I brought him, nor did he drink the bowl of water my mother poured him.With his hands behind his back, he looked at the walls, the floor, the purlins and the beams in the new house, and touched the two bowl-thick paulownia trees in the yard, saying: This tree should belong to the public family, but now it belongs to your Gao family.” My mother looked at the old branch secretary overjoyed: “Is this okay? Baby uncle.” The branch secretary said: “I say yes. I am the village branch secretary He is an old acquaintance of the baby’s father again. My brother is gone, who will take care of your mother and son if I don’t?” The mother hurriedly poured out the bowl of water he didn’t drink, went into the stove and cooked another bowl of poached eggs, and served Put brown sugar in the egg bowl.After eating the poached eggs, the branch secretary fixed his eyes on me, looked at my upper and lower body, and said, "Are you 18 years old? Are you studying in a high school in the county? I heard that you are still a top student in your class?" Asking me to be his son-in-law, I answered his question with a blushing face. Unexpectedly, a matchmaker came to my house at night.The matchmaker said to my mother, "I'm so happy, the old branch secretary has taken a fancy to your family's Aijun." I got married after graduating from high school.Guizhi is the third daughter of the branch secretary's family. Among her sisters, she is not green in willows, not green in pines, and full of yellow earth. She is one year younger than me and looks three to five years older than me.I don't know why she looks five years older than me, is it because she is short?Because of dark skin?It was because her father was a branch secretary, so she was fat, and even her hair looked uncombed all day long, and there were many small black spots on her face.On the day I met her for the first time, I was led into the branch secretary's wing like a donkey led by a matchmaker.That was her room, the walls were covered with old newspapers, and the flowered quilt was folded into long strips, leaning against the wall like a section of embankment.When I saw her appearance, I wanted to spit it out like a ball of cotton stuffed in my throat, but I didn't dare to spit it out.The branch secretary came in after his daughter, and said, let's talk about it. I am a party member and a cadre, and I keep talking about the principle of freedom of marriage at the members' meeting.Speaking of you, Aijun, I thought your father died early and was considered a descendant of the revolution. He had good academic performance in the county's No. 1 high school, so I agreed with Guizhi to be engaged to you. You are sent to the army, join the party in the army, and I will train you to become a village cadre when you come back.She said, "Why don't you talk?" I looked up at her.She said, "Do you think I'm ugly? If you disagree, just tell me, but I still think your family is too poor." I said, "Why don't you go to school?" She said, "I saw in the book The black and white characters are like a mosquito flying in front of my eyes, and my brain is buzzing after reading a few sentences." I said, "Will your father really train me to be a cadre?" She said, "Didn't you listen to what I just said? After one year of marriage, we will send you to the army when we have a baby." I said, "Why do you have to have a baby to serve in the army?" She said, "If you don't have a baby, I can tie you up." heart?" I said, "When will you get married?" She said, "I will decide the date, let's say it is the first month of this year." I said, "My pigs in the first month are not big enough, and if they are not big enough, I have no money to get married. " She said: "My house has all the dowry ready, and I will pay for everything that your house lacks, but there is one rule, you have to listen to me when you get married, and if you are mad at me, I dare to throw the bowl in front of you. You made me angry, and I dare to hang myself in front of you." In the first month of that year, I got married.

3 Entering Chengsi for the first time I soon led the baby out of the father-in-law's house.The father-in-law was sitting on a rocking chair in the sun, smoking a cigarette and teasing his dog with his feet (is that the case with landlords in the old society), looked at the packs of snacks and canned food I brought him and asked: "Yes Is it produced in Jiudu or is it produced in our county?" I said, "I bought it at the department store in Jiudu, and the place of production is Zhengzhou, the provincial capital." He took the thing from my hand and held the pastry up to his nose He smelled it like a dog and said, "That's right, the smell is fragrant." Then he said, "You take this thing up to the temple to see your Tianmin Bo, he has stepped down from the position of mayor. , trying to keep quiet in the temple and read ancient books every day." I came out from my father-in-law's house.He didn't mention training me to be a village cadre, didn't mention the stagnant situation in the village and the revolution, didn't even let me sit down, didn't let his grandson Hong eat something raw, and didn't ask about my efforts and achievements in the army. He said that he let me out of his house, and let the children and I go to the Cheng family temple.Revolution is not about treating guests to dinner, or giving gifts to guests, or joking around, or painting or embroidering.But I can't help but visit Cheng Tianmin, he is the old mayor of the town, the head and face of Cheng Hao's family, his ancestors were Jinshi, and his generation was a scholar of the Qing Dynasty, and he became a county citizen before liberation The principal of the school.In the year of liberation, he was recruited by the government as a well-known non-party democrat and became the first county education director.It is said that when the government wanted him to be the county magistrate, he himself felt the difficulty and complexity of the revolution, so he took a step back and became the magistrate of his hometown.Up to now, from the prairie of Inner Mongolia to the small fishing village of Hainan Island; from the Gobi Desert in the Northwest to the Bohai Bay, the land of fish and rice, revolutions have been raging, with red flags fluttering and horns blowing. He retreated from the position of chief, because he was afraid of the storm of revolution?Or retreat to advance, what about the three caves of the cunning rabbit?Earlier (I was as small as an ant at that time), when I went to the market in Chengcun with my mother, I met him on the street. My mother took me to hide by the side of the road, and when he passed, she pointed to his back and said to me "Boy, that's the village head. When you grow up, you have to be a village cadre with half the education. Mother will be considered a widow in this life." How do you know that I can't be a village cadre?How can I not be the village or town mayor or county magistrate or district commissioner?In the revolutionary current affairs education and traditional education classes of the army, didn't the instructors, instructors, and regiment leaders keep saying that Lin Biao became a teacher when he was in his twenties?The world is yours as well as ours.We are like the sun at eight or nine o'clock in the morning, so shouldn't you be the setting sun that passes through Pingnan?Cheng Temple is at the end of the middle of Chenghou Street.Baby Hongsheng carried the two boxes of snacks, and I carried four bottles of canned food, and walked from Erdao Hutong on Chengzhong Street into Chenghou Street.The people I met on the road kept asking that question over and over again: "Aijun, have you retired?" I smiled at everyone, nodded, and took out a "Golden Leaf" cigarette from my pocket and threw it over. .Ask again: "Where are you going?" I replied: "The old mayor is waiting for me in the temple, I will go and have a look." Then said: "Aijun, now that you are a village cadre, you can take care of your brother." Said: "Look at the lifeless appearance of the town, can I become a village cadre?" At this time, as long as I meet a literate person with a bright mind, he will definitely say to me: "As long as the revolutionary three-in-one combination is implemented, you will definitely be a village cadre." Are you a young cadre?" I thought, I must treat this person better when I am in power, as long as his family has no political problems, I can ask his family to use water first when watering the land, and ask his family to buy dozens of catties more when buying fertilizer.Certainly.It must be so, and it must only be so.why?Because I, Gao Aijun, am a conscientious revolutionary.It was before lunch, and most of the men did not come back from the field, and the women were still cooking at home.When walking on Chenghou Street, you can see the sound of bellows from various houses scurrying out of the door like mice, and puffs of cooking smoke cover the blue sky into white clouds, like a face full of sorrow (whose).I took the boy Hongsheng's hand, and he kept looking down at the two boxes of snacks in his hands. The glossy paper on the snacks was like two balls of fire swimming in the alley.I knew he was eager to eat that snack, so I opened the box of snacks when no one was around, took out a few pieces from each box, and wrapped them again.When the child was eating the snack, his face shone with happiness, Huang Cancan chewed it, and the light fell on the ground of Chenghou Street.The courtyard walls, back walls and gable walls of houses on both sides of the street narrow Chenghou Street, making the street look like a canal.The peeling wall skin fell layer by layer under the base of the wall, listening to the uninterrupted sound of the wall skin and soil falling to the ground, and watching the child's angry appearance when eating snacks, I said: "Hongsheng, is it delicious?" ?”

He said, "It's delicious, better than meat." I said, "Father wants a revolution. The revolution is successful. Daddy tells you to eat dim sum every day." The child looked up at me in bewilderment.I patted his head like a big man.At this time, the Cheng family's Confucius Temple suddenly appeared in front of them.The tall gate tower built with ancient bricks and blue tiles, the basket-sized "Cheng Temple" painted gold under the gate tower, and the red lacquered big nail door under the gate tower, they don't know that they will be destroyed in my hands in the future, and they are still the same. Unrestrained, exuding cold air, he hit me along the street.At this time, I didn't know that my love was waiting for me in that temple. I didn't even adjust my clothes and buttons before I arrived at the temple.Everything is unprepared, and fate has placed the bricks and tiles there like a tower.I walked in front of the wall of the temple, and the straight brick seam was connected with more than ten kilograms of square bricks and moved behind me, and then the gate of the Cheng Temple arrived, and there were two stone lions squatting at the gate. He greeted me.I wiped the oil from my hand on the lion's head, and the child pulled my hand hard, and looked behind carefully.I said: "Hongsheng, wipe it, don't be afraid, Dad wants revolution." The child shook his head and wiped his hands on his pants.I said, "What are you afraid of? Dad wants a revolution." Our father and son stepped into the Qianjie compound of Chengsi.On the ground of the front courtyard are square eight-inch bricks. The road from Lingxing Gate to Chengjing Gate has been left with deep footprints by generations of Cheng family descendants burning incense and kowtowing. And the ancient cypresses on both sides of the road were lush and green, and the shade of the trees covered the courtyard so much that there was no sun.The roots of the tree bulged and cracked the square bricks. Under the shade of the tree, the square bricks always showed a damp black color. There was a green and hairy layer of moss on the bricks, and many broken pieces grew in the cracks of the bricks. The green grass makes the ground look old and not weak, full of the color and smell of the feudal ruling class, making people feel quiet, mysterious oppression and exploitation.I took my baby's hand and walked on the bricks. He looked around, and there was a trace of coldness frightened by the temple on his little hand.On the beams and columns of the Chunfeng Pavilion and Lixue Pavilion on the east and west sides of the yard, those faded paintings of dragons and gods and demons, as well as tigers and lions painted with yellow foundation, are all looking at us with their teeth and claws.I said, "Hongsheng, are you afraid?" He shook his head at me, but he squeezed my fingers even tighter.I said: "Don't be afraid, one day Daddy will smash all these." The child looked at me in disbelief.I said, "What can't be broken can't be built. When you grow up, you will understand what Dad said." The child looked at me even more confused.At this time——after many years have passed, in retrospect, I think that time was the most mysterious moment in my life, the most moving and eternal moment.In the future, for many years, the earth-shattering love and the earth-shattering hatred with her did not make me feel wonderful and unforgettable at that moment, and there was no such mysterious and touching warmth and beauty that flowed in me like divine water. The heart is dripping.I have never met the great leader Chairman Mao in my life, but I think that if I really met Chairman Mao, even if Chairman Mao personally poured me a glass of water, and Comrade Jiang Qing personally cooked me a bowl of poached eggs, that feeling is not as good as that. The moment came profoundly.The water Chairman Mao poured was still water, and the poached egg cooked by Jiang Qing was also a boiled egg.But at that moment, what could compare to that magic and beauty?The sky and the earth are not as big as the party's kindness, and the depth of the water and the depth of the sea are not as deep as the impression at that time.I heard footsteps.The sound of footsteps is like moss floating in the temple, moist and heavy, but still floating slowly in mid-air.Because of the emptiness and silence of Nacheng Temple, because there is no one else in that temple except the old mayor.Before the Chinese New Year, Cheng Hao and Cheng Yi's birthday or anniversary, very few people stepped into the temple, and very few people were empowered to step in casually.Hearing the footsteps, it seemed that there was not one person, there seemed to be at least two of them.I raised my head and looked towards Chengjing Gate, and saw the footsteps were as black as paint, with a musty smell mixed in the sound of the footsteps, high and low, and there were singing voices.I look up.I saw her.She was holding a three-year-old girl in one hand, and an aluminum three-layer round lunch box in the other. She wore the same pink polyester shirt and the same pair of square shoes with golden aluminum buckles. The velvet shoes and trousers are still the fake military trousers that I cut myself.Everything was the same as when they first met on the suburban railway three days ago. There was a faint layer of fatigue and sadness on Xiu's face, which made her delicate skin appear a thin layer of sick yellow.Chengjing Gate is not as big as the gate of Chengjing Gate, but there are burnt lotus patterns on every brick on the three sides of the gate, connected together, like a lotus vine hanging on the door frame of Chengjing Gate.She was standing under the door frame with her mouth half-opened, with one foot inside the door and the other outside.Looking from under the door frame and above her head, one can see that the leaves of the vine trellises in the Zhongjie courtyard have not yet matured, and they have covered the courtyard completely, which makes her in the door frame seem to be framed in a dark background. in a painting.She really is like a painting.In those years, whoever said who was good and who said who was beautiful could only describe her as a painting, and no other metaphor could describe her delicacy and beauty at that time.Needless to say, she saw me when I saw her.Our eyes collided with each other in the mid-air of the Qianjieyuan, and a ball of sparks flashed in the temple like the arc of electric welding.Then, the air in the temple froze, and the sunbeams that leaked through the cracks in the ancient cypresses stopped swaying.I saw that the aluminum lunch box she was carrying hit the door frame on the left, knocking off a piece of old paint on the door frame, and a few grains of fine ash fell from the door frame to the top of her head and under her feet.Her face turned a stiff yellow, and her lips were stretched into a red and white line.My heart suddenly died and stopped beating, and I was able to sail the boat with sweat in my hands.Next, we just looked at each other like that, the crows on the old cypress tree above our heads were nesting, and the fallen grass branches and their cries fell from the sky like beams of a house.I glanced up at the tree, and when I looked down she was pulling her baby girl (she had a baby girl, she didn't look like a woman who had a baby three days ago) from me, he After graduation, he returned to Cheng Gang Town to be a middle school teacher.Our revolutionary and counter-revolutionary lives have since parted ways.I got these information from my mother.I went to Chengjiagang to see my mother.After the original dozen or so families on the hill moved down the hill, there were a few thatched cottages that were about to fall down, but still stood there tenaciously, and a few old people still lived there for some reason or another.When I arrived at our old house, my gray-haired mother was peeling corn ears to feed the chickens. When she saw that the ears of corn in her hand had fallen to the ground, she hurriedly walked a few steps toward me, holding a Tears welled up in her eyes as the tree looked at me.I said, "Mom, I'm here to pick you up." My mother shook her head at me.I said: "If Cheng Guizhi dares to treat you badly, I will divorce her." My mother stared at me sharply.I said, "I'm a party member, and I want to revolutionize. In the future, Cheng Tianqing, the party secretary, will have to listen to me." My mother looked at me in horror, as if his child had a mental illness.Before the revolution succeeds, it will naturally be puzzled and criticized. This is the experience and lesson that history has proven.I don't talk to my mother anymore.My mother also has a backward and ignorant side.Sitting at the gate of the old house with my mother, looking at the panorama and scenery of Chenggang Town in the sunset.The big canal excavated from the Shisanli River is as straight as chopsticks, and the flowing water resounds in all seasons. It flows under the hill behind the town, like a never-bending ribbon stretched under the mountains.At this moment, I stared at the water surface for a while, making my eyes feel washed. When my mind was clear, I turned my eyes to the Qianjie compound of Chengsi, and saw Hongmei's aluminum lunch box on the door frame. The chipped red paint still glistened on the stepping stones.I said, "What's her name?" The old man said, "Her name is Xia Hongmei." I said, "Where is she from?" It seems to be asking, and it seems to be talking to herself: "Why did you marry into Cheng Gang? Why do people in the city marry into this remote town? People go to high places, and water flows to low places. With her It looks suitable to marry in Jiudu City." The old man looked at me.The old man seemed to see what I was thinking, and said slowly, what else could she do? Chenggang is also a town, every fifth day is the market day, and there are huge crowds of people from the four townships to go to the market. It is no less than the market day crowd at their city gate.Besides, Qingdong studied at a university in the area, became a husband, got a salary, and his father was the mayor of the town.Where was her father when she was the mayor of Chengguan Town?Her father sweeps the yard and boils water in Chengguan Town. He serves the mayor of the town. Why doesn't she marry in Chenggang Town?Why didn't she marry Qingdong Nawa?Revolution is like this, without dedication, there is no foundation; without sacrifice, there is no success.She was less than twenty years old when she got married, and she was delicate, white and tender, and she was a flower with a radius of hundreds of miles.She speaks generously and does things neatly. She can knit a foreign-style sweater that people in the city wear in a day. If there are a bunch of girls and daughters-in-law in the village surrounding her on the street, begging for a few words, she will sing to everyone the songs that people in the city sing. Songs, she will dance the foreign dance she learned in school.That's it, it's as simple as a bean sprouts when it meets water, and a dead tree blooms when it meets spring. Her desire and exuberant vanity dominated her life and destiny, and also led to the glory and sorrow of her and my life.It is actually tragic.Mother said it was a pity that she suffered from revolutionary mania.The sick not only refused to cook and wash clothes for the old mayor, but also threw the mayor's used bowls and chopsticks everywhere.Said that the old mayor was angry with her and went to live in the temple.Said that a few days ago she left her baby behind, and the man left, and went back to the city to stay at her natal home for a few days. When she came back, she said that she did not go back to her natal home, that she went to Beijing to meet Chairman Mao, and that Chairman Mao even shook hands with her. .where is beijingMy mother asked me, but she answered by herself, Beijing is in the north, thousands of miles away, can she get there?Again, what is Chairman Mao?That's the emperor, can she see it?Can I shake her hand?She said that when she returned to the town, she held out her hand to everyone she saw, and said that Chairman Mao was holding that hand.In this way, she no longer holds the chopsticks in that hand, and washes her hands without soaking in water, saying that the heat from Chairman Mao's hands is still in her hands.Didn't you say she had a demonic disease?Mother asked me, did she become a madman?It is said that the mayor asked Cheng Tianqing to invite an old Chinese doctor, and three young men pressed her on the bed. The Chinese doctor pierced her with more than twenty silver needles on her head and hands, making her tremble for a long time, and then As soon as the needle was pulled out, she was no longer crazy, she was no longer nervous, she cooked when it was time to cook, fed the pigs when it was time to feed the pigs, and went to the temple to deliver food to her father-in-law.Maybe I've got a demon too.The revolution obsessed me.Xia Hongmei has me obsessed.I suffer from the double demon of revolution and love.Ever since I met Xia Hongmei at Chengsi that day, her voice and shadow kept appearing in my mind.As long as the loudspeaker on the town street broadcasts, whether it is a song or a model play, my body will be restless, like the soles of my shoes, trouser legs, crotch and cloth shirt, and my whole body is on fire.At this time, the scene on the side of the suburban railway will be played back in my mind innocently, making me sleepless at night, lethargic, sleepless at night, and unwilling to eat.The revolutionary fighting spirit was chopped down like a mess.One night, I wanted to extinguish the burning fire in my body. I pinched my legs and my body with my hands, and pinched my penis to bleed out, but I still couldn’t expel the red plum from my mind. You can't close the curtain on that scene on the railroad.I am terminally ill, beyond cure.I know that there has never been a savior in the world, there are no gods and emperors, we can only save ourselves.I can only save myself.During the day, I wandered around the village and wandered around the door of Xia Hongmei’s house on Chengqian Street, hoping to see her unexpectedly. If I didn’t see her, I deliberately stayed away from Chenggang Town.One month, I went to visit relatives at my aunt's house in the countryside early in the morning, and I never returned to Chenggang Town before dark.I also did manual work for two days at my uncle's house. His house was built, and I worked there for two days like a craftsman.But when I returned to the town, it was still a long night, and I had to climb on top of my wife Guizhi in the middle of the night.I crawled on Gui Zhi because I took her as Xia Hongmei, touched her head, touched her face, touched her thick and short toes and smelly toenails.At this time, she turned off the light, looked at me half asleep and asked, "Gao Aijun, do you want me to give birth again?" I said, "I want to have another baby." She said : "Then you come on, don't touch me, can you touch the baby?" She didn't know that I would regret it after I said that, and she didn't know that I felt angry after listening to her words. It went out with a whimper.This is already the second month since I returned to Chenggang Town, and the slightest interest in Guizhi has long since disappeared.可那时候我是一头猪，我是一条狗，我不是意志坚定的革命者，我不能不对她做事儿，不能不硬着头皮爬到她的身上去。她把灯吹了，做事儿时候她总是把油灯吹灭掉。月光从窗户透进来，凉意也从窗里透进来。屋子里有油灯灭后的黄色焦燎味，有春天暗香的绿色味，还有尘土和被子该晒未晒的潮霉味。孩娃红生和女娃红花睡在床那头，红花的胳膊搭在红生的胸脯上。桂枝过去把他们重新盖了盖，灭了灯就一如往日样坐在床沿上把她的裤衩脱下放在床头上，撩开被子躺下了，说你来吧，你想再让我生个男娃还是女娃哩？我说男娃女娃都可以。她说你来呀，还立在屋里干啥呢？我说窗户里透了风，我把窗户堵一堵。然后我就磨磨蹭蹭拿一件衣服挂在窗户上，把那月光遮住了，把那破窗纸的地方挡住了。她说你来呀，你不是想要娃儿吗？红花满地能跑了，我也想再生一个哩。我不得不慢慢地朝床边移过去。我好像不能不朝床边移过去，好像不移过去她的目光就会翻山越岭，看到我的心里去，看见城郊我和红梅那惊心动魄的一幕戏。红梅花儿开，朵朵放光彩。可是那当儿，我的欲念急流勇退着，身上又冷又寒像一桶井水从头上浇下来，物儿软得如一截霜下的草。我想对她说算了吧，改日再来吧。想对她说我好像有病了，刚才还硬呢，这会儿冷丁儿风来了，树倒了，鸟雀飞去了。我庆幸我的倒塌和垮下，庆幸我不需要爬在她身上想着夏红梅，想着夏红梅的白肉和身段，想着夏红梅的耸乳和沟壑，想着夏红梅的秀脸和剪发，还有她脚上红柿子似的十个红趾甲。树倒后猴子回窝了，这一夜我可以安安稳稳睡觉了。然就这时候，就在我刚要睡去，不知哪儿的高音喇叭响将起来了。从喇叭里传来的音乐是《战斗进行曲》。我不知道那音乐是从哪个方向传来的，然却能听出播放那音乐的喇叭似乎筒上裂了一个口，或是它在树上挂久了，风吹雨淋后那喇叭的筒上锈出了一个洞，使那乐曲变得有些哑起来，如同那音乐是从裂缝的竹筒里倒出的响豆儿，刺耳归刺耳，却流畅得没法说，节奏和音符明明朗朗，呈出五彩的云花色，从我家的门缝挤进来，把柳木门推得叽叽嘎嘎响；从窗子的破洞挤进来，把挡在窗上的衣服掀得一起一落飘；从后墙的裂缝中吹进来，把床上的被子吹得瑟瑟抖；从房顶掀开的瓦和泥草缝里灌进来，砸得我浑身的肌肉叮当叮当跳。我被那歌曲和音乐鼓荡了，身上慢慢开始烦躁得如一群蚂蚁在我的脉管里爬，血被加了热，手上、脚上、头发、脖子和隐处的旮旮旯旯都有些粘丝丝的汗。我知道我又将疯起来，感到有无数股力量从四肢开始朝着我的大腿中间跑步集合着，我的物儿又英姿勃发了，青春无限了，它像一根木杆样又竖将起来了，到乐曲播放到“我撩倒一个，俘虏一个，缴获它几支美国枪”时，我看到两条铁轨从遥远的地方伸过来，铁轨旁有漫无边际的庄稼地，红梅赤裸着全身躺在那踩倒的一片庄稼苗上向我招着手。桂枝在床上翻了半个身，问：“你还弄不弄？不弄我可要睡着了。”我朝桂枝点了头，向躺着的红梅走过去。我看见红梅在日光里那浑身发亮的光色了，我闻到那股浓烈的麦苗和红梅身上的香味相混的新鲜肌肤味。我到了床边了。我把鞋子脱掉了。我把我的军用皮带解开了。我把裤子脱下了。可是，大喇叭中播放的乐曲呼的一声停止了，和弦断了样无声无息了。桂枝慢慢从床上坐起来，穿上裤衩点上灯：“高爱军，你不中用你就不要叫醒我，我明儿天一早还要起床烧饭哩，人哪能天天这样呢？做这事能当饭吃，还是能当衣裳穿？刚从部队回来我让你有几次，你反倒没完没了啦，不中用还想着那事儿！已经回到镇上一个来月啦，你该下地干些啥儿啦，不是军属啦，得不到照顾哩，再不挣工分一家人去喝西北风？”

5又一次响起革命的音乐声 当然不会去喝西北风。种地有饭吃，革命也一样有饭吃。就是因为没饭吃才要革命呢。入伍前程天青说过我退伍回来要让我当村干部，就是因为他说让我当干部我才和他女儿桂枝结婚的。许我当干部是他欠我的陪嫁哩，可现在，我让他桂枝生了两个孩娃了，我已经退伍回乡了，是该让他还我陪嫁的时候了。不当村干部我如何在村里呼风唤雨革命呢？不能呼风呼雨、领导社员我如何领导革命呢？我决定再去找一次我丈人。我要讨账呢。吃过早饭桂枝说你去哪？今儿队上是去村前地里修渠呢。我没有搭理她。我连看都没看她一眼儿。可我从家里出来时，她却追出来把一张铁锨塞到了我手里。 “少去半天就是四分工。”我把铁锨扔在了脚地上。I'm leaving.桂枝惘然地立在那。村胡同中的日光像玻璃一样亮，像革命者的心脏一样亮。邻人们已经吃过饭，拄着铁锨和锄头立在门口等生产队的钟声响起来。我从他们面前走过去，要革命的勇气在我脚下顶着我的脚底把我推到了半空里。村人问：“爱军，吃过饭了吗？”我说：“吃过了，去找一下村支书。”笑着说：“支书不是你的丈人吗？”我说：“在家里是丈人，在村里是工作。”他们就在我身后哧出黄灿灿的笑。我想你们就笑吧，革命后会有一天我叫你们笑你们才能笑，不让你们笑你们只能哭。他们的笑声把我从程后街送到程中街。我从一条胡同拐进程中街时，有一道红光突然闪现了。红梅从另一条胡同出现了，她和桂枝的娘家嫂子爱菊并着肩，手里依然提着那个铝饭盒，不消说是又去程庙给她的公爹送饭了。这时候第二生产队出工的钟声已经响起来，许多社员正扛着家什往村外走出来，她就夹在几个年轻女社员的正中间。我的心开始轰然跳起来，我想起了昨夜儿喇叭里突然响起的《战斗进行曲》，想起来我的坚硬和软弱，不知道该怎样朝着她们迎上去，腿上就有了些微的慌，然脚步下的力量却莫名的大起来。真得感谢那光天化日和说说笑笑的社员们，不是这些压治了我心里的旺火，谁都不知道我在红梅面前要做出啥儿事。这是我回村后第二次见到她。她的衣裳全换了，上身是一件平纹洋布蓝衫儿，裤子是那年月城里流行着的劳动布，脚上是流行着的黑胶军用解放鞋。而我还是那身光芒四射的绿军装。她们一群朝着我走过来，我把双手插在裤子口袋里，故意用拳头把裤胯那儿往两边扯拽着（你们不明白，那些年我的那种作派是时髦，是洋派）。并不是所有的青年人都可以把双手插在裤袋走路的，更不是所有的人都可以把手插进裤袋再用拳头把口袋高高顶起来。那样做证明我读过书，当过兵，见过大世面，胸中有理想，身上有力量。这和红梅穿的劳动布裤和黑胶解放鞋是一个道理儿，是一个阶层儿。我就那样占着道路中央迎着她们走过去，地跳响着。我朝前后看了看，满街都是空旷和静寂，一条街上只有我和她。日光明亮无比，温暖中有了初夏热辣辣的躁。我就和她僵在那热辣辣的烦躁里，一时不知该说啥儿好，是谈革命还是谈思念。这时候，从程后街传来的唤人下地的吆喝声，如一股浑水样从我们头顶漫过去。紧跟着，村里的喇叭响起来，有干部在那喇叭里唤：“到村头会战大渠的社员快些走，迟到的要扣工分啊！”那唤声连叫三遍后，又从喇叭里传来了《东方红》的乐曲声。不消说，那乐曲家喻户晓，人人会唱，谁都熟得如认识自己的爹和娘，可那泥黄色的乐曲朝我俩倾盆降下时，我的身子微微地抖起来，手上又出了一层汗。她的脸忽然也从粉红僵黄转成了黄白色。不知道为啥儿我们俩的景况会是这样儿。 《东方红》那嘹亮的乐曲金光闪闪回荡在程岗镇，前呼后拥流荡在村街上，仿佛如火车开在我们的血管里。我看见那乐曲的音符像葡萄、柿子样从空中落下来，在我们的脚下滚动着。我闻到了赤橙黄绿的音乐那诱人的香味在我俩四周流散着，看见从她那平纹布衫线缝中挤出的她肌肤的气息，闪着薄亮的光泽朝我扑过来。我闻到了那气息中她身上温热柔美的汗味如白丝绒样夹在那肌肤气息里。从那厚密的布纹望进去，我又看见她狭长深美的乳沟山河分明地裸在胸脯间，汗就从那沟里狂奔到她雪白的肚子上，又被布衫吸去了。洋布总是没有粗布吸水好，她的布衫上已经有了许多星星点点的汗渍儿。汗渍在蓝布上是一种深黑色，像墨水滴在了她的布衫上。看见她那样，看见她和我一样听到喇叭的声响就不安，我反而平静了，像火光在前，胜利在望了；像革命的曙光已经从窗口照到了我的床铺上。我把手上的汗在裤口袋里擦擦说：“红梅，我们一块革命吧。”她盯着我看一会，有些哆嗦地问：

“这些天……你没有在寺庙那儿等我吧？”我平平静静答：“是你说咱俩从前谁也没有见过谁。”她说：“我可没想到你能这样提得起，放得下。”然后她失落地把头扭到一边去，待再扭回来时，村里的广播没有声息了。她脸上也变得平淡了，像猛然想起的事情被失落盖住了。“你真的要成立革命组织吗？”“名都想好了，叫'红旗飘飘战斗队'。”“你自个小心点，别叫支书领着人把银针扎到你的头上和手上。”我笑了。“我首先就要把他拉下马。不把他拉下程岗镇永远就别想闹革命。”这当儿，从胡同里传来了脚步声。红梅的脸色又往深处白一下，转身就走了。我追上去叫了一声红梅，说让我看看你的手。她有些莫名其妙地把手伸出来，我极快地摸了一遍她光滑的手指甲，说人来了，你走吧，三天后我就在程岗大队革命成功了。她走了，手里的铝饭盒一摇一摆的。从那胡同走出来的竟是夹着书本到学校去教书的她的男人程庆东，几年不见，他眼睛上架了一副黑眼镜，文质彬彬，天然一副要被革命浪潮席卷的模样儿。