Chapter 34 Thirty-four

Coming out of the bar, Ouyang Lanlan's car took Xiao Tong to the intersection of his house.He went upstairs, took out the key, but couldn't find the padlock on the door. He groped around the door for a long time, until someone in the room heard the sound and opened the door to ask him, then he realized that he had entered the wrong door. It was strange that he should have lost his way in front of his own house. Maybe it was because of so many thoughts in his mind along the way that he had to force himself to meditate, telling himself over and over again that he must never take drugs again.Because when Ouyang Lanlan asked him to take the drug again to show Lao Yuan, all his nerves were enveloped by the charm of heroin almost instantly, and he suppressed the spontaneous desire with a deep sense of guilt, He repeatedly thought about the physical pain and spiritual disillusionment that that thing had brought him.It is true that once you take drugs, you quit drugs for ten years, and you want drugs all your life.He was able to endure it all the time without letting himself think about that thing, just because he didn't want to lose his beloved again. This was the most important support for him to return to a normal life and become a normal person.

Once Qingchun was nice to him, he couldn't bear it.Her hug, her expectation, proved that he was no longer a useless person.Not only can he get the love he wants, but, he can also become the boyfriend.A person who plays an important role in the whole society becomes a person that both the Communist Party and the common people need.It makes him proud!Feel excited!This feeling made him realize the fullness he had never experienced before.He saw that everyone in this trench was so dedicated, as if they shared life and death with each other. This was very different from his previous imagination of the general attitude towards human existence, and it made him deeply infected invisibly. .So when he came back from the bar, he really had a feeling of being lost - after suffering so many days, he was already qualified to work side by side with Ou Qingchun and the others, and he couldn't ruin himself by taking drugs anymore.But if he didn't take drugs, he wouldn't be able to complete the tasks they gave him. He would disappoint Qingchun and her boss, and Li Chunqiang would look down on him and think he couldn't do anything.He really needs to let them all see and recognize his value now!

At this moment, what should he do? That night he tossed and turned, went to bed very late, and had intermittent dreams that had no beginning or end and no structure. Sometimes he dreamed of the gluey emotions with Qingchun, and sometimes he dreamed of his ecstasy after taking drugs.After waking up, he thought objectively for a long time. He thought that if Ouyang Lanlan hadn't actually teased him yesterday, he might not have dreamed of that smoke again. Ouyang Lanlan didn't call him again all day, which made him a little impatient.Could it be because of his attitude yesterday that she broke off contact with him?He was a little scared, he was afraid that if the victory that was about to be achieved failed because of him, then Ou Qingchun, Li Chunqiang and their boss would think of him, so what use would he be to them?

He seemed to have seen a mocking smile on Li Chunqiang's face, and whispered in Ou Qingchun's ear.He thought he might as well tell Qingchun the truth about yesterday's situation, and he could even express to them that he was willing to take drugs again for the needs of this case, and was willing to endure the pain of drug rehabilitation again.But the possible consequences of this approach made him break out in a cold sweat: Even if Ou Qingchun agreed, understood and even supported and encouraged him to do so, would she still keep his place in her life in her heart?Everyone knows that drugs are more difficult to quit once they relapse!He really didn't want to take the risk of touching the wound that had been healed with great difficulty.

In the afternoon, Ou Qingchun unexpectedly called him.He called back, and Qingchun asked if he had contacted Ouyang Lanlan again?He vaguely said that he met, but did not talk about business.Qing Jijing didn't ask about this serious matter again, she changed the subject and said, "You know, I had a nightmare last night." Xiao Tong suddenly remembered his dream last night, he asked: "What nightmare?" "I dreamed you were smoking that thing again." Xiao Tong couldn't describe what it was like, so he asked, "Then how are you doing?" Qingchun said: "I cried a lot, I was very disappointed in you, and then woke up from crying."

Xiao Tong said, "You call me just to tell me this?" Qingchun said: "No, a friend gave me two ballet tickets tonight, are you interested?" He became excited, temporarily put aside the troubles of the night, and said, "Of course!" In the evening, they watched "Swan Lake" performed by the National Ballet of China at the International Theater. Although the seats were a little short, in such an intimate atmosphere, who cares about the distance of the seats.He remembered watching "Swan Lake" with his parents when he was a child, and his mother told him that white swans are good and black swans are bad.Now it seems that this immortal masterpiece composed by Tchaikovsky is actually nothing more than a children's literature, and the simple concept of good and evil it expresses, for him, almost led to the stereotype of his emotional way many years later.Although the social experience after growing up told him that most of the people in this world are good or bad people in the middle, good people also have evil thoughts, and bad people also have kind hearts.But he treats all kinds of people around him.The attitude towards all kinds of things is always used to being either black or white, with a clear distinction between likes and hates.He also knows that this has always been his naivety.

After the scene was over, they walked side by side from the gorgeous theater to the dimly lit street, and it seemed that no one was in a hurry to find the station.Xiao Tong has watched many ballets since he was a child, both Chinese and foreign, and he already has a good eye for the level of dancers.He expertly commented on who did a good job tonight, and who had more than 30 laps of the "leg turn".Qingchun listened silently, and suddenly interjected: That prince looks very much like you.Xiao Tong's heart was in full bloom.He replied: That white swan is very like you.Qingchun laughed loudly, she said with a smile that you are so smart and know how to compliment others, but why does it sound like sarcasm?Xiao Tong swears: Really, I won't lie to you.Ke Qingchun said: I don't want to be that white swan, let the black swan run so pitifully and die like a wretch.

After talking about ballet, I unconsciously get back to business.Qingchun asked: "What did Ouyang Lanlan talk to you about yesterday?" Xiao Tong didn't know where to start, "I didn't talk about anything." "Then why did she come to you?" "Take me to the bar for a drink." "Didn't you talk about anything? You didn't ask her how the contact is going?" "……asked." "What did she say?" "She said, she said...Lao Yuan and the others don't believe me, they have to test me." "How to test?"

"She said, let me, let me marry her, or live with her, or let me do drugs again..." "what do you say?" "I said, I'm in business, not prostitution!" "Well said! What did she say?" "She said, then you don't want to do this business, that's all." "Then what do you say?" "I said, let me think about it." Qingchun stood down, and the conversation between them seemed to be getting more and more serious. "Then have you considered it? How are you going to answer her?" Xiao Tong looked at Qingchun's face, and he asked back, "What do you want me to say? How do you think I should answer her?"

Qingchun said without thinking: "Of course you know how I want you to answer her." Xiao Tong forcefully said: "But if I don't do this, they won't agree to meet your captain! The plan you made will not work out. If you want to get in touch with them, I have to do what they ask .” Qingchun said without hesitation: "If it can't be done, we won't let you do this kind of thing. We have principles. We can't do whatever it takes for the so-called highest interests like some terrorist organizations abroad." At this time, they had already entered the tree-lined sidewalk on the edge of the Second Ring Road.There was no one on the sidewalk, and the cold air of the night was approaching, but Qingchun's words, her tone.The voice moved Xiao Tong's blood.He embraced Qingchun in his arms and said, "Qingchun, I know you love me."

Qingchun didn't let go of him, and even stretched out her hands to hug him naturally.He couldn't help but put his hand into Qingchun's open short coat, even into the thick sweater, sticking to the shirt, hugging her body.Her body looked so delicate, so soft and so warm in his arms.Xiao Tong cupped her face with one hand, lowered his head and wanted to kiss her lips, but she refused to let her, and buried her face in his arms.They embraced so long.After some time, Ou Qingchun's shoulders trembled in his arms. "What's wrong with you, are you crying Qingchun?" Qingchun didn't speak, just hugged him, and put her face on his chest, he was a little flustered, he didn't know why, why did this woman, who he always thought was as strong as iron, cry like a child? "What's wrong with you, tell me, what are you thinking?" Qingchun grabbed the clothes on his back, shook his body lightly, and gradually calmed down after a while.She let go of him, took out a handkerchief to wipe her eyes, she said nothing, didn't think about anything. Of course Xiao Tong didn't believe it, it was the first time he saw Qingchun's tears, and the tears seemed a little unreasonable. "You must have remembered something, you tell me." Qingchun calmed down a bit, avoided his eyes, and said, "Don't mind Xiao Tong, I don't know what's going on, but suddenly I remembered Hu Xinmin." Xiao Tong's face darkened, and he said, "I know I can't compare with him." "No, no, I just think that this case is so difficult to solve. It's just one step away. Maybe it will never pass. I think Hu Xinmin will die with peace!" Xiao Tong didn't speak, he and her faced each other silently. He didn't know how deeply that Hu Xinmin, who died with regret, was buried in Ou Qingchun's heart, but no matter what, Qingchun's feelings for his deceased friend were touching.He felt that such a woman was really touching.For such a woman, what else can I not give up? The next day he called Ouyang Lanlan.Ouyang Lanlan called back quickly as usual, she said: "I thought you were going to disappear again, it's so rare that you can still call me." Xiao Tong was silent on the phone for a long time, and finally said: "I want to see Lao Yuan!"