Chapter 26 Chapter Twenty Six

The differences between An Xin and Captain Pan are both ideological and age-related.They are two generations.I have always believed that there is one most important difference between the present era and the past era, that is, the worldviews of young people, middle-aged people and old people are completely different, and the difference is huge! The so-called young people I refer to do not refer to the alternative group called "new new human beings", but to young people in the general physical sense, such as An Xin and me. We have also received orthodox education. After professional training in one or several work units, we are not the kind of sex lovers who do nothing, dangle, and have a fragmented life. A troubled boy who is fine as long as he is happy.Since childhood, we have been familiar with various theories and slogans of socialism, communism, and patriotism, as well as the middle-aged and elderly people, or at least not inferior to them, as well as the four basic principles, five lectures, four beauties, and three loves. Still different from them.Except that under the rules of discipline, law and group, we have to make the same expression and action on certain occasions, we are almost different from the previous generation in almost everything, from the inside out, we are two completely different people.

The dispute between An Xin and Captain Pan in that small guest room seemed to be transactional, but it was actually definitely related to their differences in age and worldview.Captain Pan did not agree that the Nande Public Security Bureau should issue An Xin a marriage certificate. He believed that the Nande Public Security Bureau, whether it was An Xin's workplace or her real registered residence, was not suitable to appear in the public documents of An Xin's marriage procedures.Although Mao Jie's case has passed for more than a year, and it seems that there is no real danger, but this is a rule, and it is an organizational rule.An Xin is a formally protected person, and no one can make the decision to disclose her identity without the approval of the higher-level public security organ.In addition, Captain Pan also strictly forbade An Xin to continue using the name An Xin: "It's wrong for you to use this name in Beijing, and it's even wrong to write it publicly on your marriage certificate. Why didn't you hand over your ID card at that time?" Come back? You should hand it back to the Political Department of the Municipal Bureau for safekeeping. If I make a mistake and approve you to marry with this name, I will make a mistake. Besides, you have to go to the Political Department of the Municipal Bureau to issue a marriage certificate, and I can’t just nod. It can be opened."

An Xin said: "Aren't you very familiar with the director of political prescriptions? Go to him and tell him that it's not a big deal to issue a marriage certificate, and it's not something that violates the four basic principles. After I get married, I will support myself. Isn’t it okay to cause trouble in the organization, I hate to live my whole life in anonymity and mystery!” Lao Pan said: "Director Fang doesn't have this right either. You took protective measures after discussing and agreeing with the party committee of the bureau and reporting to the political department of the provincial department for filing. Director Fang is engaged in political work, so he should be more principled and disciplined than me. How could it be possible for one person to make decisions in private and destroy the decision of the higher-level organization? Unless the party committee of the bureau discusses this matter again for you, withdraw your protection measures, and revoke your status as a protected object. Then we'll open it for you. Isn't it just to issue a certificate, isn't it just to be married, we will stamp it to prove that you are currently unmarried and celibate, that is very simple!"

Captain Pan meant that this certificate still needs to be issued in Beiqiu. He can report the situation to the Political Department of the Bureau, and ask the cadres in charge of the Political Department to say hello to the Beiqiu Public Security Bureau.The name He Yanhong still had to be used on the marriage certificate.In addition to the fact that An Xin always did not use a pseudonym according to the regulations, Lao Pan also criticized her for going to South Germany without asking for instructions. You are no longer an active policeman, and I can’t say anything more about you. If you are still a member of my team, I must twist you. I must let you go back to me immediately today, go back to Beiqiu, go back to Beijing, where are you going? Everything works!"

An Xin was aggrieved, even a little angry.She said in a low mood: "Haven't you been training me? You have been training me for a long time, from last night until now. I used to think that I had a good impression in your heart, but now I know you are so Hate me. I don't even know what kind of person can satisfy you!" Only then did Lao Pan stop talking, he was silent for a moment, sighed, and said: "I used to have a colleague. I remember I told you about it. That was a colleague I knew when I was working at the Sha Mao District Public Security Bureau. He is an anti-drug cadre of the Kunming Public Security Bureau. He used a disguised identity to do intelligence work in a case, and became friends with several drug dealers.

They recruited him to do the drug business together, and he did it with them, which is considered to have penetrated into them.Later, even overseas drug cartels trusted him.The Provincial Department sent him to open a gas station next to the Shaxi Highway, and the drug trafficking organization used this gas station as a stronghold, and he used this stronghold to send us information.This stronghold is very close to Sandgrass.I was responsible for contacting the Sha Mao District Public Security Bureau.We have been cooperating for eight years, and many major cases have been solved in the province by relying on him.In order to protect himself and not reveal his identity, this comrade has not been in a relationship or married for eight years, and has kept his name incognito for eight years and has not been in contact with his relatives and friends in the past.He is from Qujing, and the province sent his parents to live in Kunming quietly from the village of Qujing as his friends. He only went back to Kunming to see his parents three times in the past eight years.Even his parents thought he had already gone to sea to do business.It wasn't until he died eight years later that everyone knew what an unsung hero he was.Don't worry, I'm not advocating that you don't get married or don't associate with anyone. Your situation is not the same as his. I told you that this person just wants to talk about a person's quality!This man was only thirty-five years old when he died.His life was very great and noble!He's younger than me, but I have a lot of admiration for him.In my life, there are not many people I really admire, and he is one of them. "

An Xin was not moved by the deeds of the colleague who died anonymously as her captain expected.She said calmly: "Captain, I also admire such a person, but I can't imitate him, I don't want to live like him. I am a woman, I need to get married, I need children, and I need to be with someone who loves me , need to go home often to see my parents, I also need to take care of them when they are old. I want to live a normal life, a normal life of an ordinary person. Captain, don’t ask me so high, I may not be born to be a great person, a noble person. All I want to be is an innocent person, a happy person. If I can do this, I will be satisfied and enough."

Captain Pan silently listened to An Xin's eloquent "Life Monologue". He didn't say a word for a long time, and his disappointed expression looked a bit lonely.In the end, he nodded, and just said under his breath: "Okay, I understand." Captain Pan's appearance, his dull and old demeanor made An Xin feel a little bit unbearable.She didn't intend to let the captain down on her, she didn't want the captain to feel sad for what she said just now.She said, "Captain, do you think I've changed and gone bad, don't you?" Lao Pan shook his head, and said again: "I understand what you think." He paused, and said again: "You have stayed in a big city like Beijing for so long, and the young people in the big city are all different. One life, another idea, I can understand."

After he finished speaking, he looked at his watch and indicated that he was going to leave. He asked An Xin: "I'll go to the Political Department today and ask them to call Beiqiu for you. When do you plan to leave?" An Xin said: "Tomorrow, there will be a train to Beiqiu at 8:30 tomorrow morning. I will leave early in the morning." Captain Pan took out a red market bag from his purse, put it on the bed, and said, "Let me borrow this thing for you for a day. Today is the Songkran Festival. My mother-in-law is from the Dai nationality. I took two days off to return home." One super Dali, it’s the noon train. Tomorrow morning I’ll ask someone to come here to pick you up to the station, just return this to him.”

An Xin picked up the red cloth bag, opened it and looked at it.She already knew what it was before opening it. It was a half-new "June 4th" pistol, and An Xin recognized it as the one she used to wear. Feel free to wrap the gun in red cloth again.Originally, she wanted to say no, but she was afraid of hurting Lao Pan's kindness again, so she accepted it.As Lao Pan said, perhaps because she has lived in a big city like Beijing for too long, now she feels a little funny about the usual "struggle atmosphere" and normal vigilance in border areas. She sent Lao Pan to the corridor.The houses on the upper floor are all separated by the back, and the corridor is long and winding. She took two bends and walked more than ten meters to get the old job to the stairs.She said to Lao Pan: "Captain, I know, I made you angry today, I failed to be the best person in your mind, and let you down. I didn't mean it, so don't hate me in your heart. "

Lao Pan stood down, lowered his head and thought for a while, then looked up at An Xin, a rare kind smile appeared in the corner of his eyes, and he said: "You are already very good. You hope to live a normal life and enjoy a little The happiness of the family is right, don’t take it as a bad thing, don’t feel bad. The person I mentioned is a very special example. It’s just that when I think of him, I feel very sad. I hope you can understand me, This is the relationship among us people. Today you said that you admire such a person, and you also admit that his life is great and noble. I am very happy. Really, you are much more sensible than my son. This kind of thing can't move my son, he heard about that person, and said that there must be something wrong with that person's head..." It was Lao Pan's words that moved An Xin a little.At least, there is a very cordial feeling, just like the feeling that Lao Pan has always been in her mind. Lao Pan smiled wryly, and said, "I have been reasoning with my son and telling these stories since I was a child. Now it seems that talking too much is useless." An Xin sent Lao Pan all the way out of the hotel, and Lao Pan left.An Xin stood at the door of the hotel in a daze.I also saw the back of old Pan slightly hunched. He was wearing a dark gray plain clothes that had been washed, and his hair was very thick and messy. His back almost looked like a farmer who had been working hard for half his life. If I didn't know him with peace of mind, if I met such a person on the bustling streets of Beijing, I would definitely regard him as a farmer from another place, a countryman who is far, far away from us. An Xin and I returned to our room.An Xin took the initiative to tell me the content and results of her conversation with Captain Pan.I remained silent and did not express any objection to returning to Beiqiu early tomorrow morning. An Xin saw that I had no expression, thinking that I was still saving face for last night's caries. She took the bear from me.Ask me in a cautious tone: "Do you think it's troublesome? I can't help it either. People who work in the police are so rigid..." I said: "It's okay, anyway, our trip is equivalent to traveling. If I go to Kunming, I won't see the Stone Forest, or if I come to Nande, I won't be able to see the Songkran Festival. Do you splash water at the Songkran Festival here? Don't want us to go to the street to see?" An Xin thought for a while, and said that Nande's annual Songkran Festival is not held in the city, but is held in Wuquan.When I was working here last year, I went back to Guangping during the Songkran Festival instead of Wuquan.I heard there was a dragon boat race last year. Wuquan!I am already familiar with the name Wuquan from An Xin's story, so when An Xin mentioned Wuquan, I really wanted to visit it, not only for today's Songkran Festival and the possible dragon boat race. An Xin didn't want to spoil my interest, so we carried the bear to the "nursery" downstairs, and entrusted the bear to the two aunts again.There were no other ex-children in the "nursery" today, and the two aunts were chatting very boringly, and when they saw the little bear coming, they immediately beamed with joy.An Xin asked her aunt why the two children didn't come?The aunt said: Their parents took them away.We don't have any guests in this hotel today.People who come to travel have moved to live in Wuquan today. There is a Songkran Festival there, and you can go to Baizi, which is more fun than here, so they all go and live here, and you are left here.Don't you go to Wuquan to have a look?Don't you go to the pendulum?An Xin said that we will go, but we will be back in the afternoon, and we have to hurry tomorrow morning.I asked An Xin what it means to catch a swing, and An Xin said: It's just a market. There are all kinds of entertainment performances on the table, and there are stalls selling things, which is similar to the meaning of you northerners going to the market to go to the temple fair. When I heard this, I was very happy, and urged An Xin to hand over the little bear to the auntie, and then went up first to say goodbye to the little bear. After taking care of Little Bear, there was one more thing that could not be taken care of, and that was the "June 4th" pistol that Captain Pan lent An Xin for self-defense.An Xin didn't dare to put it in the guest room, it was too heavy to carry with her.And when we went to Wuquan, we were afraid that people would set up water, so we could only wear thin single clothes, and there was no place to tuck them in.Of course, I have a love for Ge, which every man would have, so I suggested that I help her tuck me so I won't be afraid of bleeding, but An Xin flatly refused.She said that if you don't understand this thing, don't accidentally go off fire again.She hesitated, and finally hid the gun in one of our handbags.There was a lock on the handbag that could be easily pulled by a gentleman or a villain. After locking it, she pushed the bag deeply under the wooden bed in our room, and then straightened up, feeling quite comfortable. safe.She smiled at me and said, "Okay, let's go." So I went on the road easily. An Xin has only been to Wuquan once, but the impression of that time may be too deep, so as soon as I left the hotel, it was like a guide who took me to familiarize myself with the road.Sitting on the train to Wuquan, just like An Xin back then, I saw the rolling hills along the way and the terraced fields on top of the hills.In June, the terraced fields are fat, yellow, thin and green, and no one harvests them. I also saw a few fluffy white clouds like cotton floating on the top of the mountain.sunny.The white clouds and the sun make the scenery outside the car window look like a complete watercolor painting, with nothing more and no less. The honeymoon taste is accentuated by the journey without the bear.With the beautiful scenery outside the window as a backdrop, I talked with An Xin all the way.An Xin told me about the deeds that Captain Pan told her just now about the unsung hero who used the gas station as an intelligence base beside the Shaxi Highway and hid himself in the enemy for eight years, which led to a battle between me and her. A discussion of the sublime and the great minds.We are close in age, so we discuss this issue with a surprising degree of agreement.Like An Xin, I have reverence for the spirit of that unsung hero, but reverence does not mean that we have to live like him.Regarding what is sublime and what is great, we have also made a literal analysis, thinking that sublime means sacrificing oneself for others and sacrificing one’s life for righteousness; greatness means making contributions and showing them to others, or their spirit can shine on others even though they have no achievements.From this point of view, the sublime and the great are beyond the reach of the nature and abilities of most ordinary people.But nobility and greatness do not exist, have no value, and are not yearned for because of this. We are not moved by the silent dedication of the unknown hero.Although we can't do it, we are moved.If we are moved, it is possible to imitate a little bit in our future life, at least to increase the heart of kindness, sympathy, dedication, and fraternity.In this world, kindness, sympathy, devotion and fraternity cannot be less. If there is less, this world will be too bad. We are moved, and at the same time we understand why Captain Pan's son is not moved, because the sublime and greatness were too prevalent and false a few years ago.Asking everyone to be sublime and great, creating so many nobility and greatness artificially, obviously not moving people, but asking you to say that you have been moved to sublime and greatness, and finally changing people's hearts. became disgusted.People are right to abhor false things.Avoiding the sublime is essentially avoiding falsehood, avoiding things that he cannot do or does not want to do or is not even moved.Sometimes this evasion indiscriminately evades even the real sublime and greatness, which is a bit counterproductive, and even things that could have moved people are not moved when they feel sick.It is one of the tragic phenomena of our time that the sublime and the great have become something to be avoided.For this, An Xin has stronger grief, regret and indignation than I do. From this point of view, An Xin still has more hero complex than me.I'm more realistic about it than she is.I think it is an improvement to admit that people are selfish by nature, at least it is better than insisting that everyone should establish the ideal of communism and the spirit of selfless dedication, and formulate the norms of social life and formulate interpersonal relationships based on this ideal and spirit. The principles of relationship and the mechanism of economic operation have taken a big step forward.There are heroes, but they are definitely a minority, and they are produced under specific circumstances and conditions. If you are not in this environment, if you don’t have these conditions and you are asked to imitate the deeds of heroes, the motive is ridiculous, and the effect is definitely not much better, and the side effects are even more obvious.That is, everyone has learned to create different masks for themselves.These masks are: moving, angry, solemn, happy, sad... etc., etc., so that people can express emotion when they are not moved, angry when they are not angry, and solemn when they are not solemn. Being able to laugh when you are clearly unhappy, and crying when you are clearly not sad... I have seen this kind of phenomenon a lot! From Nande to Wuquan is equivalent to going from Beijing's Guomao Bridge to Tongxian Huandao, and it takes only half an hour by train.Therefore, it is impossible to discuss the topic of sublime and greatness for too long. After all, it is too far away from our real life and the fleeting beauty outside the window moving in front of our eyes, and it is too metaphysical. If you are too persistent and endless, you can't help but feel grandiose, artificial and even false.Moreover, knowing that sublime and greatness, ideals and dedication are not easy to do, you still ignorantly praise it, praise it, and acknowledge its existence and value. Isn't it embarrassing for yourself?Especially just after praising the sublime and greatness, immediately go to the stand of Wuquan Water-Sprinkling Festival and bargain with the small vendors who sell goods for a few cents without blushing. Isn't the praise itself dirty and embarrassing? what?I remembered that there used to be a girl who lived downstairs in my house and was also a college student. She played the piano at home all day and annoyed her neighbors. She knocked on her door to ask her to keep her voice down. As a result, when the girl stood in the corridor and quarreled with her neighbors, what did she do? All scolded.If a man blushes when he scolds, she can scold without stuttering at all.After scolding to death, she was able to continue playing Chopin within half a minute after returning home, which is unbelievable. I don't know the piano, and I can't tell the difference between good and bad.But I know that Chopin's music is noble and romantic, so I think that girl has no heart. The sublime and great topics are automatically suspended when the train reaches Wuquan.As soon as An Xin and I walked out of the station, we were immediately assimilated and infected by the festive atmosphere.The street is very crowded, with endless swings, and bright women with flower umbrellas are everywhere.The clothes of the Dai women are not clear whether they are elegant or gorgeous. The short jackets on the upper body are mostly simple and monochrome, while the tube skirts on the lower body have fancy patterns.Most of the hair styles are pulled at the top and decorated with flowers. Those who don't arrange flowers just get stuck with a comb, it's the same.I especially admire the dresses of Dai girls.I think that among the fifty-six ethnic groups, the clothing of the Dai nationality can best reflect the beauty of female form.The top is so short that the waist is exposed, and the skirt is long enough to reach the ground. It should be obvious, and it should be restrained. It outlines the woman's slender waist and long legs vividly. Following the flow of people, we squeezed towards the river along the route An Xin had taken when he first came.By this time, the banks of the Wuquan River had already been filled with people's walls for watching the dragon boat race.We stood in the back, looking at so many backs of heads and backs, and couldn't figure out whether the race on the river was in progress or not yet.We walked along the human wall by the river for a while, and when we saw flower bags sold at the stalls, we bought one each.I followed the example of others and swung the string on the flower bag a few times, then threw it to the place where the girls were in groups.An Xin gave me a blank look, and said that throwing this is a pass to ask for love, so don't throw it around.I said, then you throw it too, which man do you fancy?An Xin said that I will not throw it away, I will keep this bag and take it back for the little bear to play with, this bag is very pretty.I said: Sniff, what you really love after all this trouble is your son Anxiong. At this time, singing voices could be heard not far away. I couldn't make out what was being sung, but the harmony and order of the voices was a bit like that of a professional art troupe.A loud noise was suddenly heard in the singing, and a long bamboo pole sprayed thick smoke, piercing the blue sky with a whistling sound.An Xin said, "Let Gaosheng go!" I asked what "Let Go Gaosheng" meant, and she explained it in such a way that it was similar to the fireworks and Er Tijiao that are displayed during Han festivals. We walked along the river, and not long after we walked, we saw a singing and dancing performance in a venue, which was really professional.Also saw cockfights and plagiarism.Finally, go all the way to the Manlong Temple, which is said to be very famous.Manlong Temple is famous. Only after reading the introduction in front of the temple did I know the name of Manlong Pagoda behind the temple.The base of the Manlong Pagoda is painted with gold, and the body of the tower is painted with silver, which is really beautiful.There is a large open space in front of Manlong Temple, and a small village is connected behind it. Only when we come here can we really enter the "splashing water" site. There are many people splashing water and playing with each other here, mainly young people, but also middle-aged and elderly people.Unknowingly, there is music with a flat melody, which seems to be just a rhythmic background for the singing of men and women at the Songkran Festival.An Xin and I stood aside to discuss whether to join in and join in the fun. If you don't participate, it seems like a waste of time. It's not easy to come to catch up with the Songkran Festival.But if we participate, we will get wet with our clothes. I don’t know when we will be able to do it, but how can we go back?When I was hesitating, a girl suddenly ran over and poured a basin of water on my body, and I was wet from head to toe in an instant like a drowned chicken.An Xin clapped her hands gloatingly and laughed, but before she could finish her laughter, she was also splashed all over her body more thoroughly, so the laughter stopped abruptly.We looked at each other, at first we were speechless, and then suddenly shouted and rushed to the crowd, each looking for something to hold water to "stop talking". We picked two plastic basins. There are many temporary large pools filled with water on the site, which are convenient for drinking.We splash each other first.Later, there were no people who splashed us. Later, I saw no one.This is the first time I saw An Xin so happy, so happy, so child-like. Ever since I met her, she has always had a restrained and depressed expression. Her expression has always been very inconsistent with her girlish appearance. Until today I just saw her most original smile. I laughed too!My back hurts from laughing! It took me a long time to remember that the laughter I dreamed of on the beach in Hawaii was the indulgence that An Xin and I had never had before the Songkran Festival in Wuquan in front of Manlong Temple. ) Splashing and splashing, the two of us got separated, and no one could find the other.An Xin really went crazy, I later saw her wantonly chasing people and throwing them into crowds of people.Her last basin of water was for a tall young man who was walking towards the base of Manlong Tower. The full basin of water did not reach the clean back of the man's head and broad back.The man slowly turned his wet face away, stood on the steps of the base of the tower and gave An Xin a condescending smile. I saw that An Xin's body stiffened suddenly, she stepped back in panic, and the plastic basin in her hand fell to the ground.The man didn't stop, turned around and walked towards the back of the tower.An Xin yelled, so hoarsely that I couldn't hear what she was yelling.I saw her rushing towards the man's back, but after only a few steps up the stairs, she was suddenly swept down by a large group of men and women running out from behind the tower with empty basins in their arms.Behind the group of men and women, another group of young people with a larger number of young people carrying a whole bucket of clear water poured down from the steps like a strategically placed high place... A wall of people and a wall of water blocked An Xin After the group of men and women retreated down the steps with "running out of ammunition and food", An Xin looked around with her body dripping wet. On the entire base of the Manlong Pagoda, except for her, no one could be seen in an instant. A trace!